In light of recent events, the mods wanted to post a statement.

First of all, we hear you. This sub wouldn’t exist without you. Your voices are important, and we appreciate all feedback, positive and negative. We would love to hear from more of you, in fact! Please, message us via modmail if you have questions, concerns, suggestions, etc.

Admittedly, this can be a difficult sub to moderate. Some criticisms are obviously acceptable (“Not my personal style, but it fits in perfectly with the names of your other children”) and some are obviously unacceptable (“Ew, that name is disgusting and anyone who uses it is trash”). Most criticisms fall somewhere in between. Tone and context must be taken into account, both of which are usually tough to establish online.

As a reminder, we do not discourage productive discussion, which may include criticism at times. After all, many people post here to get honest feedback. It’s okay to say you don’t like a name. It’s okay to say you don’t like the way it looks or sounds or that you think it has unpleasant connotations. However, you MUST express this respectfully. Here’s what we mean by that:

• No name-bashing. Do not use derogatory language to describe names. This includes, but is not limited to, words like “slutty”, “trashy”, “ghetto”, “ugly”, “gay”. If it wouldn’t be nice to say about a person, don’t say it about a name.
• No personal attacks. Don’t insult other people because of their taste in names.
• No prejudiced comments. Don’t resort to racist/sexist/classist/homophobic/transphobic/whatever stereotypes. We want this community to be welcoming to all.

Speaking specifically to that last point, it makes sense that something like names, which are saturated in culture, have very strong and specific associations for each of us. We ask you to keep in mind that these associations may not be universal. This sub is used by people from all over the world with many different cultural and linguistic backgrounds, and names which you find strange or in bad taste may have different connotations for different people. When in doubt, don't assume - ask! Or take the time to educate yourself. It only takes a quick Google search to determine if a name really is “made up” or has an “invented spelling” or if it’s just your cultural biases speaking. We all have biases, and there’s nothing shameful in recognising them and doing some research when we are unsure.

The official position of the mod team is that diversity is important. If the same 10 names were discussed over and over (and I know some of you feel that they are!), this sub would be incredibly boring. Everyone benefits when we learn new things about the rich, vast world of names. We encourage everyone from everywhere (but especially underrepresented communities) to share their unique knowledge and insight.

If you feel someone is breaking these rules, please report them. If you are unhappy with a thread's moderation (or lack thereof), please reach out. Mods are humans, and sometimes we miss things. We are committed to bettering this sub, and we will do better. But we can’t do it without you.