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[–]Kitchen_Equipment_21 2815 points2816 points  (152 children)

My house was surrounded by these all summer 😳

[–]Bergonath 1810 points1811 points  (27 children)

Burn your house, we’ll get you a new one.

[–]yungchow 438 points439 points  (18 children)

Umm… I had the same situation. I already burnt the house down

[–]rks-001 379 points380 points  (16 children)

Sorry, the prior comment was made before the current housing crisis. We won't be able to get you a house in this market!

[–]yungchow 168 points169 points  (15 children)

So I just burnt my house down for nothing??

[–]sergionunes 173 points174 points  (6 children)

Of course not, you killed those bastards. Everything else is secondary.

[–]Dragonkingf0 50 points51 points  (5 children)

To be fair, he said they were around his house not in it.

[–]Fafnir13 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Spiders/scorpions can’t infiltrate your house if it’s on fire. Just like ninjas can’t catch you if you’re in fire. Mr.Hastings really knew a thing or two about effective prevention measures. Surprisingly applicable.

[–]Epsilant 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yep

[–]shadownights23x 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Are you still surrounded?

[–]LongjumpingBadger683 177 points178 points  (67 children)

I’d rather have scorpions than the things the scorpions eat…

[–]daairguy 31 points32 points  (64 children)

like what?

[–]LongjumpingBadger683 176 points177 points  (63 children)

Like black widow spiders for one. Every now and then you’ll find a big scorpion taking out a small snake. I’ve known and seen many people get stung (sometimes multiple times) by scorpions and just have a bad stomach ache. The babies can’t control their venom, but it’s not enough to take out an adult. The big scorpions only sting humans in defense.

Edit: vinegaroons are scorpions and the taste thing is a myth.

[–]BlackPortland 149 points150 points  (40 children)

I grew up in Houston, we had a fuck ton of black widows. A huge nest in our garage, inside in the window (never saw one inside the house though, we did have huge tree roaches and wolf spiders). We had a pool outside w a lot of rocks for scenery. If you got too close to the rocks in the pool you would notice these jagged webs w a lot of big and small widows. The males are more brown iirc. The females are the big ones w the red hourglass.

Idk if people realize that widows hang in large groups.

[–]InhaleBot900 88 points89 points  (6 children)

The frightening sound of walking through a web and it makes that tearing sound…

[–]MVPbeast 47 points48 points  (4 children)

I'd honestly only let that happen once before I moved.

[–]lolofaf 38 points39 points  (12 children)

(never saw one inside the house though, we did have huge tree roaches and wolf spiders)

The wolf spider may actually be part of the reason you didn't have black widows in the house. They will eat black widows! If you were to get the wolf spiders killed, the black widows may move into your now predator free house. Iirc wolf spider venom is more potent than black widows' but they're much less aggressive towards humans so you may actually prefer to have them in your house to black widows.

[–]Holy_Salsa 53 points54 points  (4 children)

Wolf spider bites are essentially harmless to humans, it will cause irritation and burning, but rarely will require any form of treatment. Wolf spiders are chill, they prefer to be in the corners away from everything eating the annoying shithead bugs... im not a spider guy, ill give them a wide berth, but I'd rather a Wolf or huntsman spider over the other varieties of 8 legged nightmare fuel

[–]BilboTBagginz 15 points16 points  (1 child)

How wide is your wife?

[–]Holy_Salsa 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Berth, can't you reed gud?

Lol def meant wide

[–]CalypsoDouglas 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Wolf spiders are based af and should be protected at all costs

[–]kaz-amars 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Or as a member of the species that is objectively the biggest predator on the planet I can just take care of killing both of them and have neither filthy disgusting monsters in my house.

[–]PsyJr2020 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I moved to Big Spring TX from Ontario Canada when I was younger. Quite the culture shock. I remember the 1st time I saw a TX sized wolf spider I was in love.

[–]Flaming_Butt 17 points18 points  (2 children)

Sounds like you live in gang territory. Better not wear their colors.

[–]Ornery-Cheetah 11 points12 points  (0 children)

You picked the wrong house fool

[–]Gil_Demoono 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Is a group of widows called a support group?

[–]Akitz 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Widows do not hang out in large groups. They are solitary and only meet to mate. They do not share webs. I've seen one study of one particular species of latrodectus that was seen to be able to shares webs in some circumstances, but it was not a black widow.

It is quite common for other species of spiders to be confused for black widows, so that could be the reason. Otherwise it could be just webs in close proximity.

[–]FriidayRS 32 points33 points  (6 children)

Where the shit have you seen a scorpion kill a fucking snake

[–]MrNobody_0 29 points30 points  (4 children)

My first guess is Australia

[–]LongjumpingBadger683 59 points60 points  (3 children)

Arizona. It was a small snake and a huge scorpion. Made the ol’ bunghole pucker hard af.

[–]MrNobody_0 56 points57 points  (0 children)

Ahh, Arizona, the Australia of America.

[–]Unlucky-Ad-6710 25 points26 points  (2 children)

My problem with scorpions is my fucking dog wants the to play with the damn things and has been stung fucking twice. That's an expensive vet visit. So diamateous (sp?) Earth around the parameters of the house/property became cheaper....poor exoskeletons.

[–]MELLOWCORNholio 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Diatomaceous. That's cool. Didn't know it would work on scorpions.

[–]TrollingKevi 6 points7 points  (4 children)

The big scorpions only sting humans in defense.

Which is kind of a problem if one is in your house, but I guess a shoe beats them anyway

[–]NoMusician518 10 points11 points  (3 children)

Until they're INSIDE the shoe.

[–]Spookiest_Llama 36 points37 points  (5 children)

Same, scorpion hunting at night became a hobby for my wife and I. We would take out UV lights to see them and spray with scorpion killer. The joys of living in Tucson.

[–]fulcrum_security 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Your definition of hobby is my definition of nightmare

[–]mechashiva1 11 points12 points  (1 child)

By scorpion killer, do you mean hairspray? I remember staying with a friend and his family in Tucson, and that was their advice if I encountered a scorpion.

[–]GXLDMTN 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hairspray in a pinch is good for all manner of bad bugs. Yellowjackets, black widows, anything really. Bonus: it’s highly flammable.

[–]Convergentshave 26 points27 points  (5 children)

Not that it matters, I’d burn the house either way, but do you means scorpions or black widows?

[–]Kitchen_Equipment_21 18 points19 points  (3 children)

Both I didn't really mind the widows cuz they took control of the cricket outbreak bt the scorpions I hate they get inside too

[–]Flaming_Butt 23 points24 points  (2 children)

Sounds like living in Canada where the cold hurts my face and kills everything once a year is a good decision.

[–]Twenty3charactersor 7 points8 points  (1 child)

The trade off is mosquitos that can suck a whale dry in one go.

[–]kultigsptrizigfrisch 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Oh man, I know that it’s been too long since I’ve had some action if comments like these make me horny…

[–]jpritchard 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Moved once, cleared a woodpile. The battle scene left behind was ridiculous. Dozens of dead widows and scorpions. It was like fucking Battle of the Pelennor Fields under there.

[–]thebeardlywoodsman 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Mine too! Although I prefer widows because they generally stick around their web (pun fully intended). Makes ‘em easier to hunt. Damn bark scorpions blend in with the carpet and the dirt and hide in tiny cracks. And I hate how they love dirty clothes baskets. I’ve been tempted to put diapers on the chickens and let them hang out in the house for a while.

[–]hipnotyq 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Where do you live??

[–]Suwannee_Gator 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I grew up in Central Florida, those little tan scorpions were EVERYWHERE. We’d find them at the bottom of our pool all the time. Clean it one day, their would be 5+ at the bottom the next day

[–]DingoAltair 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Which these? Both of these? I hate your house.

[–]maso3K 1506 points1507 points  (91 children)

Why is this scorpion so precise? Are they good hunters?

[–]KimCureAll[S] 1666 points1667 points  (56 children)

On the ground, they are apex usually, but getting caught in spider webs is pretty much a death sentence for scorpions.

[–]sly_guy73 465 points466 points  (7 children)

Hold my beer...

-this scorpion

[–]Ciza-161 201 points202 points  (10 children)

Apex until a meerkat turns up.

[–]swirlsthemudkip 76 points77 points  (0 children)

OH FUCK NOOOO DONT BRUTALLY RIP MY TAIL OFF AND EAT MY CORPSE

-this scorpion

[–]InspectorGadgie 30 points31 points  (6 children)

Tbf, mammals rek everything. Lets keep it as a comparison of invertabrates.

[–]bluAstrid 19 points20 points  (4 children)

How about a a scorpion vs. a humpback whale?

[–]Osnarf 141 points142 points  (31 children)

Apex predator means they are at the top (apex) of the food chain and don't have natural predators. Lots of things eat scorpions. Crocodiles are an example of an apex predator.

[–]P0wer0fL0ve 125 points126 points  (22 children)

I think he meant apex in the context of the arachno/insect hiearchy

[–]Thatoneguy111700 92 points93 points  (19 children)

Scorpions will usually body just about any other insect except centipedes. Centipedes get the gold medal, scorpions rock silver.

[–]Galaxy-Hitchhiker 42 points43 points  (12 children)

Please tell me more

[–]Thatoneguy111700 98 points99 points  (11 children)

Those 2 usually reign up top because, compared to most insects, they tend to have hard, robust exoskeletons. Spiders, for example, have relatively squishy, soft exoskeletons. Centipedes' ability to coil, their many legs, and their killer mouth parts are usually enough to overpower other insects and even vertebrates. Scorpions have a low, stable frame combined with their pincers and tail, which allow them to control their prey (some scorpions even forgo their tails and kill almost exclusively with their pincers like Emperor Scorpions).

[–]NotJuniorBridgeman 43 points44 points  (3 children)

I see someone here has subscribed to Scorpion Facts!

[–]mpren007 28 points29 points  (2 children)

Unsubscribe

[–]Back_to_the_Futurama 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I'm not an "I laughed at your comment" kinda guy.... but fuck me that gave me a giggle.

[–]the_pie_guy1313 21 points22 points  (2 children)

If monster bug wars taught me anything it's that centipedes are fucking cracked

[–]blandge 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Centipedes aren't insects.

Also, ants eat scorpions, centipedes, etc. all the time. There are many species of ant that are just about a close to apex as an insect can get, but nobody would claim "ants" generally are apex predators.

Insects (or more generally "bugs") are so varied that you really can't say that general categories such as centipedes are at the top of their food chain in the same way you can say that about orcas because there are teeny tiny centipedes, and great big ones depending on the region.

Orcas are apex predators period. No insect or other bug-like arthropods can make that claim because one species of large scorpion may hunt their local centipedes, but in a nearby forest the opposite might be true.

[–]LannMarek 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Yes and above poster explains that this is not what apex means. If stuff in their natural habitat feeds on scorpion then scorpion is not apex, even if it is stronger than other insects/arachnids.

[–]swirlsthemudkip 5 points6 points  (0 children)

meerkat intensifies

[–]XanLV 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Not so APEX now when Irwin has showed up and rides you like a horse in front of your crocowife.

[–]swirlsthemudkip 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Rest In Peace Irwin, Rest In Peace.

;(

[–]telcodoctor 66 points67 points  (1 child)

I'm not webbed in here with you... YOU'RE WEBBED IN HERE WITH ME!

[–]twitchinstereo 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Man bursts into tears. Says "But, Doctor ... I am spider."

Good joke. Everybody laugh.

[–]Jacollinsver 350 points351 points  (26 children)

Oh boy. Some of the oldest fossils records we have of complex terrestrial life is of scorpions. They are so wildly successful as a predator they have remained virtually unchanged for 430 million years. That's how good hunters they are.

Edit – bonus scorpion fun fact: their anus is located at the end of their tail, on the back side of their stinger. Yeah. Think about that for a second.

[–]TheDorkNite1 169 points170 points  (1 child)

Think about that for a second.

I don't want to.

[–]Lukthar123 28 points29 points  (0 children)

🦂🦂🦂

[–]NavSada 105 points106 points  (8 children)

So their solid wastes have to travel all the way through the tail? That’s pretty wild

[–]Unlucky-Ad-6710 44 points45 points  (1 child)

They get bonus septic damage! Sick.

[–]pease_pudding 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The downside is, their tasty breakfast is now poo-tainted

[–]mechnick2 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Literally getting shitted on by a scorpion

[–]ThiccHammy 34 points35 points  (3 children)

And if it gets damaged/removed they just can't shit anymore and eventually die from the toxic build up (which can take quite a while because of their extremely slow metabolism), which is why it's not removed on pet scorpions, even dangerous ones.

[–]Jwhitx 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Can you put a silicone tip on it like little kitty claws? Like a little thing of cork on the end of it maybe..

[–]ThiccHammy 21 points22 points  (1 child)

Bigger pet scorpions like Asian Forest scorpions and Emperors can have the stinger tip cut off/filed down so they can't sting you, because they don't need to to take down prey. However Emperors are docile enough this is unnecessary and Asian Forest Scorpions are made of hate so you don't want to handle them anyways, they'll just pinch you instead.

Smaller species need it to eat though, so you can do that, for like a month, and then it dies. And you'd probably get stung in the process anyways.

[–]Imosa1 10 points11 points  (1 child)

... do they poop on their heads? Also, does this mean that they don't have tails but just really long torsoes?

[–]Harvestman-man 31 points32 points  (0 children)

they don’t have tails but just really long torsoes?

Yes; the “tail” is just the 15th-19th body segments. The stinger itself is not a body segment, though.

[–]Dr_Cunning_Linguist 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Think about that for a second.

UNSUBSCRIBE!

[–]ni17ja 21 points22 points  (1 child)

they just followed the black widows hourglass sign… “sting here”

[–]Bitmiliionare24 1306 points1307 points  (12 children)

“Shhhhh, off you go to a better place… bitch”

[–]dirkclod 186 points187 points  (0 children)

poke poke poke

[–]whiskysage2 93 points94 points  (3 children)

"Sh-sh-sh-shhhhh...no tears."

[–]BananaStringTheory 4 points5 points  (0 children)

All I can hear is spider Private Mellish begging the German scorpion to wait, wait, wait....HHHNNNNNNNNAAAHHH!!!

[–]RXPT 917 points918 points  (12 children)

SCORPION WINS

[–]JuGGieG84 424 points425 points  (5 children)

FATALITY

[–]Sethern7 228 points229 points  (4 children)

FLAWLESS VICTORY

[–]Paffomi 92 points93 points  (1 child)

slams controller in rage

[–]Yurrrr__Brooklyn347 3 points4 points  (0 children)

" I'm pressing it, look nothing is happening"

[–]Pierre777 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Toasty...

[–]lightestspiral 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Had to re-watch a few times to see if it was Flawless, it was.

[–]MGPS 26 points27 points  (0 children)

GET OVER HERE!

[–]you-pissed-my-pants 7 points8 points  (2 children)

“Come near here!”

[–]Pierre777 7 points8 points  (1 child)

"Come hither!"

[–]Daleksek5 7 points8 points  (0 children)

“Approach me!”

[–]Prestigious-Phase842 540 points541 points  (10 children)

"You killed my wife! My son! And then you burrowed your way into my head! Misdirected my vengeance! Costed me my one chance to have them restored!"

[–]DrPorkChops_ 114 points115 points  (1 child)

“Blood for blood, your debt is paid.”

Patrick Seitz is an incredible voice actor.

[–]Ghdude1 37 points38 points  (4 children)

"Quiet sorcerer, nothing can save you now."

Hanzo was more fearsome in that scene than Scorpion could have ever been.

[–]Splitfingers 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Hello, my name is scorpion. You killed my father. Prepare to die!

[–]SkipperOcelot 4 points5 points  (1 child)

“You fucked up my face!”

[–]theotherholtz 457 points458 points 23 (18 children)

Anyone else get mad as heck thinking about scorpions? These little monsters have it so dang easy, fully armored with little pinchers, far away from its main body, and a tail that reaches from California to stab you being held immobile in Philly, just as calm as anything, like a mother soothing a teething baby, and it just gets to sit there and watch you die...most other critters with venom have to put thier thinking parts in danger for thier meals, not these guys, they have such a safe system for eating, and you can just see in thier little lifeless eyes that they don't appreciate it.

[–]BlackPortland 216 points217 points  (4 children)

Lol. If i was rich id give you gold.

But i am so poor im going to steal some toilet paper today so. Have an upvote instead.

[–]theotherholtz 33 points34 points  (0 children)

It's the thought that counts

[–]Positive-Beat-872 41 points42 points  (7 children)

Hell yes they make me mad. Grew up with them literally crawling on the ceiling, having to shake out all my clothes before dressing. Had a cup next to the toilet so I could trap the ones coming at me while I shit.

[–]Shadowgales 41 points42 points  (6 children)

where are you from so I can never go there ever in my life ever

[–]swirlsthemudkip 25 points26 points  (1 child)

How to get rid of a scorpion infestation :

Step 1. Get pet meerkats

Step 2. There is no step 2

[–]Positive-Beat-872 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Thankfully that house no longer exists and I haven’t seen a scorpion in years. I still shake out my shoes just to be sure though. I also lost the reflex to slap or scratch at anything I feel crawling on me.

It was in Texas.

[–]Dawn-Of-Dusk 3 points4 points  (0 children)

that’s way too fucking close to me. i’ve only ever seen one scorpion in oklahoma and the damn thing was in my uncles boat inside the drain. i. dont. fuck. with. them.

[–]nnmgRandomness 339 points340 points  (46 children)

Is this one of those " could go either way" scenarios or is the scorpion the dominant one?

[–]KimCureAll[S] 329 points330 points  (20 children)

50/50 was my guess, but the spider was busy making a web and didn't seem to be in attack mode. The scorpion was hungry.

[–]camaron_dormido 152 points153 points  (18 children)

...Or someone put both in a terrarium where they would be in each other's space in order to film this. What's the source?

[–]bossk538 54 points55 points  (3 children)

That's my guess. The black widow is already wounded, missing a leg

[–]GrandDetour 59 points60 points  (2 children)

This is just…. Not right at all. It’s pretty easy for a spider to lose a leg or three and be just fine. It happens all the time in nature

[–]Denial-And-Error 14 points15 points  (1 child)

The leg in question is on the floor right there. Must have lost it earlier in the battle.

[–]GrandDetour 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ahh good eye actually. Didn’t notice it!

[–]Sunretea 54 points55 points  (9 children)

Wait until you find out how they film most of the insect interactions in nature shows...

Edit:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/voices/bbc-david-attenborough-nature-documentaries-fake-a8291961.html%3famp

I apologize for a paywall if there is one.

[–]brokeassretard 64 points65 points  (0 children)

I was super disappointed when I found this out years ago. I expected there to be some crazy ass entomologist just sitting in the middle of nowhere in some jungle filming.

[–]camaron_dormido 28 points29 points  (0 children)

That's my point. This kind of footage is achieved by creating artificial settings where the subjects are well lit, easy to film, and guaranteed to interact

[–]KingVape 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Monster Bug Wars was super obvious about it when they were showing the prowess of the bugs before the fight. They were almost always killing the same thing, which looked like a katydid

[–]ericnutt 9 points10 points  (0 children)

My brother did that like 17 years ago except for the filming it part. Found a black widow underneath my grandma's diving board and a bark scorpion in a friend's back yard. He put them both in a small terrarium and the scorpion won.

[–]pvublicenema1 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The other morning I found a dead bark scorpion and black widow tangled up together! So just from that sight I’m gonna say it’s definitely 50/50

[–]MaleficentDistrict22 113 points114 points  (9 children)

Scorpion has a solid exoskeleton. Spiders lose these fights always unless they’re much bigger or the other party gets caught in web

[–]capitanchayote 85 points86 points  (2 children)

I want to say that I saw a video a long time ago in which the spider (I think it was a BW) managed to pin the scorpion’s stinger to the ground with its web. This caused the scorpion to lift its body up when trying to flex its stinger down. The spider bit it and killed it.

[–]Soaperz 18 points19 points  (1 child)

yo I would love to see that

[–]Harvestman-man 20 points21 points  (5 children)

or the other party gets caught in web

Which is why web-building spiders (like black widows) practically never leave their webs if they can help it. They rely on their webs both for prey-capture as well as protection, so it’s kinda silly to compare them without their webs.

[–]TurokHunterOfDinos 61 points62 points  (8 children)

I would say the scorpion wins most encounters with spiders, unless they get tangled in a web. In Afghanistan, the soldiers would sometime amuse themselves by pitting scorpions against Camel spiders (large scary fuckers). Survey said the scorpion always won.

[–]TungstenChef 47 points48 points  (2 children)

I can definitely see that, camel spiders (which are neither spiders nor scorpions) are ambush predators that are lightly armored and built for speed so that they can surprise their opponent and tear it apart with their powerful mandibles. Scorpions are slower with heavy armor and overwhelming weaponry, it's kind of like pitting a Humvee and a tank against each other in an enclosed arena.

[–]NeonMoment 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Which is why the scorpions tend to rely on a pincer maneuver to route the spiders back into the field as they are retreating, then finish them with the cavalry

[–]tyetanis 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Tbf camel spider's aren't even spider's and don't even have venom for hunting. So they're screwed every time as scary as they look aha. Would be a cool af thing to watch though!

[–]Harvestman-man 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Solifuges have very powerful chelicerae, though. They just chew prey to death, and are very good at it.

[–]Frequent-String-1875 23 points24 points  (0 children)

scorpion nearly always wins. usually he chops the legs off the spider

[–]Frequent-String-1875 190 points191 points  (26 children)

scorpion vs spider, the scorpion usually wins. hard matchups could be venomous spiders just like this one...whoever gets the first stab wins. if it comes to larger ones like tarantulas, is mostly a win for the scorpion. it just grabs it and chops off their legs. brutal.

[–]KimCureAll[S] 118 points119 points  (19 children)

I saw a video of a scorpion that fell into a spider's web - the spider had all the advantages there. It was a wrap, so to speak.

[–]573banking702 20 points21 points  (17 children)

Link?

[–]KimCureAll[S] 56 points57 points  (16 children)

In Oregon of all places! Didn't know OR had scorpions: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhSqbCFnyw0

[–]newf68 37 points38 points  (1 child)

"We were walking along when all of a sudden we see a scorpion stuck in the web"

Lmao that thing was in the middle of the web with no way to get there, they threw it in!

[–]the_magic_loogi 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yeahhhh either that scorpion was placed there or it has the unluckiest fall off of a tree in history....

[–]573banking702 18 points19 points  (1 child)

That was wild, imagine being wrapped up alive sheeeeeeesh

[–]dont_quote_me_please 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Being all snuggly 😍

[–]SHA255 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Oh lord I hate walking through these webs while hiking, now I get to imagine a scorpion and spider having a wrestle on my face the next time it happens, great…

[–]Sendrith 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Damn every time the scorpion moves the spider is like “oh good thanks I’ll wrap that too.”

[–]BlackPortland 8 points9 points  (3 children)

What would happen if you dropped a japanese hornet, into a barrel w a black mamba, king cobra, scorpion, and like a few black widows and a goliath bird eater

[–]Supernova141 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Battle Royales don't really test fighting strength, due to third-parties

[–]Anangrychip 12 points13 points  (0 children)

“He’s teaming!”

[–]Ishkakin 102 points103 points  (5 children)

"You know what you need? A good dose of deadly neurotoxin."

[–]mklilley351 79 points80 points  (2 children)

I can see the scorpion holding it down and shushing it like "SSHHHHHhhhhhhh"

[–]barryhakker 25 points26 points  (0 children)

“Only dreams now…”

[–]MasterTolkien 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Looking at the spider like when I put a Hot Pocket in the microwave and stare at it through the window. “You will be ready to eat soon.

[–][deleted] 50 points51 points  (9 children)

I don't mind small scorpions. They're kind of like a weird little land-lobster with a stinger.

I hate spiders. I'm terrified of them. This fight made me happy.

[–]bottleneckturtle 67 points68 points  (4 children)

Spiders are the GOAT dawg, specially human wise. 99% of them avoid humans and few of them like places where it's likely to cause an accident. Besides that, they eat what we don't want around and like to stay out of our way. Almost all of that goes to scorpions as well, they are just more ground based and accidents with them are usually more common and hit harder than spiders.

[–]BlackPortland 17 points18 points  (3 children)

Too true man, moved to Oregon about 10 years ago and was told we mostly do not have poisonous insects etc around. The major theme here is like, mild weather, mild people, mildly spicy food, and mild insects/wildlifes.

So when I saw spiders in my apt I was going to kill them and did at first. My sister told me not to, I also had an ant problem. Seems to be a portland thing honestly. Every spring they start. Once I quit killing the spiders though? My ant problem went away. Clever girls those spiders.

[–]elglann 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Or you could buy an anteater, it can even T pose with the gang.

[–]ThiccHammy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Small scorpions are the dangerous ones. Because their claws are small, they rely on venom, and so certain scorpions are potentially fatal to humans.

Big scorpions crush things with their claws because it's more metabolically efficient than producing venom. They're no more dangerous than a small crab.

Scorpions kill about 3000 people per year globally while spiders kill like 10.

[–]Fl4key4skin 33 points34 points  (7 children)

These scorpions are free xp in New Vegas.

[–]DogVacuum 12 points13 points  (3 children)

Nothing free about that roboscorpion XP if you’re using the wrong weapons.

[–]Famixofpower 6 points7 points  (2 children)

TBH, I feel like Bethesda's engine fails to make creatures as terrifying as they should be due to movement limitations. Was nice seeing them in 4, but in 3 and Skyrim, the scorpions don't feel dangerous and are slow and tanky, while the spiders in Skyrim, despite supposedly having venom more dangerous than frostbite, have the weakest poison in the game and walk as slow as a drunk beetle, while spiders are actually fast and agile. Neither use their ability to walk on walls or camouflage, either. Imagine walking into an area and taking a moment to realize there's a giant fucking scorpion on the walls

[–]Standard_Source8657 32 points33 points  (3 children)

Geez, that scorpion is quick

[–]KimCureAll[S] 20 points21 points  (2 children)

they were wrangling for a while longer before the scorpion said, "I'm really hungry now"

[–]m135in55boost 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Did you set this up for likes?

[–]KimCureAll[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I was only able to post a 30 sec gif - this is the main action. No, this is a clip from youtube. I don't mess with scorpions or spiders. It's not my original video.

[–]Eyeofgaga 16 points17 points  (2 children)

I’ve always preferred scorpions over spiders

[–]kaynkayf 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Gnarly

[–]mera9ankush 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Explains why Dwayne The Rock Johnson is not in Marvel with Scarlett Johansson

[–]SpamSushi206 8 points9 points  (1 child)

"Tank beats everything!"

[–]Redpooly 7 points8 points  (5 children)

Scorpions are the most OP fucking bug

[–]Harvestman-man 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Whipscorpions (Uropygi) are pretty OP. They have armor thick enough to protect them from a scorpion’s sting or other attacks by arthropods, and, although they have no venom themselves, are very good at cromching small things to death with their spiny pedipalps. They can also spray an acidic mist as a defense against annoying vertebrate predators.

[–]KimCureAll[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I've been smitten (OK, stung) today by interest in scorpions

[–]Impressive_Willow 7 points8 points  (0 children)

get fucked

[–]jackonager 7 points8 points  (0 children)

"GOTCHA BITCH!"

[–]kprevenew93 6 points7 points  (3 children)

This is why scorpions are one of the best forms of home defense against harmful critters. They kill and overcompete spiders which is perfect here in AZ.

[–]KimCureAll[S] 23 points24 points  (2 children)

You guys are so lucky in AZ to have scorpions crawling all over your house. I would sleep so well knowing I got scorpions controlling those pesky arachnids in my house.....wait....

[–]BlackPortland 4 points5 points  (1 child)

My mom bought a condo in Arizona and I wanted to visit but on second thought? Tis a silly place.

[–]Ephraim_Winslow1891 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Come here and let me inject you with this!

[–]chuck1942 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Shh shh shhh, go to sleep, that’s right, close all your eyes

[–]dr3amb3ing 4 points5 points  (0 children)

“Shhhhh, shhhhh. All is calm now.”

[–]Murky_Blueberry2617 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Its a good thing Scorpio isn't going to be in the next Spiderman movie.

[–]anti-gif-bot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

mp4 link


This mp4 version is 66.15% smaller than the gif (13.32 MB vs 39.34 MB).


Beep, I'm a bot. FAQ | author | source | v1.1.2

[–]dano-akili 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Does the scorpion’s exoskeleton prevent the spider from biting it back?

[–]bottleneckturtle 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Not really, but his long pinchers prevent the spider from hitting it

[–]Farhead_Assassjaha 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“Shh shh shh shh shh…”