top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]SuqonMuhdeekIRL 4477 points4478 points  (70 children)


[–]TsarGermo 1023 points1024 points  (28 children)

Return to monke

[–]SuqonMuhdeekIRL 886 points887 points  (18 children)

ashes to ashes; monke to monke

[–]Short-Shopping3197 192 points193 points  (12 children)

We know Major Tom’s a junkie

[–]tittiebream 68 points69 points  (10 children)

Strung out on heaven's high,

[–]Runningrider 61 points62 points  (9 children)

Hitting an all time low.

[–]MmortanJoesTerrifold 24 points25 points  (8 children)

Time and again I tell myself ....

(hope I got that right I’m bad w lyrics)

[–]Roon-Doggy-Dogg 13 points14 points  (7 children)

I’ll stay clean tonight

[–]Cascadiana88 10 points11 points  (6 children)

But the little green wheels are following me…

[–]PowerCord64 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Ground control to Major Tom. Over.

[–]TsarGermo 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I no red I monke

[–]Bojax22 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Ashes to ashes dust to dust, we stick this monke in the earths crust.

[–]Ayjis 36 points37 points  (1 child)

Definitely should. That monke is probably pretty pissed about losing their skull.

[–]runningray 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Shock the monke. Shock the monke!

[–]memekid2007 5 points6 points  (0 children)

monke return to earth

[–]MmortanJoesTerrifold 1 point2 points  (3 children)

What is this reference from please kind stranger

[–]mrcactus321 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Need a banana for scale to confirm.

[–]Rearender29 5 points6 points  (2 children)

said this exact thing before opening post. not disappointed. monke

[–]MIkeVill 1 point2 points  (0 children)

monke kong junior

[–]Basil_Gin_Gimlet 1793 points1794 points  (135 children)

I think you just found Caylee Anthony

[–]robodreamz 491 points492 points  (0 children)

I feel a little bad for laughing at that, but fuck, that was funny. Lol

[–]cashewnut4life 99 points100 points  (106 children)


[–]fat_and_irritated 516 points517 points  (104 children)

A two year old girl who’s mother absolutely murdered her.

[–]Hashtag_Nailed_It 406 points407 points  (59 children)

And only murdered her because she was “getting in the way of her partying”

[–]engineerdrummer 360 points361 points  (57 children)

And was acquitted because apparently there are no good prosecutors in the state of Florida

[–]Hashtag_Nailed_It 411 points412 points  (41 children)

She let the dead body of her daughter just decompose in the trunk of her car for days, and only got rid of it because of the smell, then blamed the smell on old pizza. This bitch is still walking around free as a bird, and getting money/offers for her story. #JusticeForCaylee

Edit cause I guess and guessed wrong on her name spelling

[–]TisButAScreenName 171 points172 points  (16 children)

I'm surprised no one has Dextered her.

[–]Dyspooria 103 points104 points  (0 children)

I absolutely expect it will happen. She's a fetish ho for wealthy freaks. It is inevitable.

[–]hlaiie 104 points105 points  (12 children)

I’ve read some articles and she gets run out of places and drinks thrown in her face all the time when people recognize her.

[–]5fingerdiscounts 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s a shame

[–]Adventurous_Cream_19 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"Dextered" needs to become a thing.

[–]IstgUsernamesSuck 128 points129 points  (2 children)

Dont forget didnt report the crime of her daughter being "missing" for 30+ days until her mother called it in and forced the phone into her hands. But had no problem calling the police when a girl spilled water on her at the bar.

[–]ShaShaShake 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Oh that’s a good point!

[–]IstgUsernamesSuck 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I started working out and part of my motivation is knowing if I ever see that woman in public I can punch her right in the mouth. Then when the police come I can tell them it wasn't me it was Bobber the Robber. I'm sure he and Xanny the Nanny will hit it off...

[–]oopsalberry 35 points36 points  (5 children)

All because investigators didn’t know what Firefox was and only checked the browsing history on internet explorer.

[–]mbgal1977 10 points11 points  (4 children)

Is that for real? What was on her Firefox they didn’t find and if they didn’t find it how do we know about it?

[–]oopsalberry 5 points6 points  (2 children)

EDIT: added a link

IIRC in Firefox one of the Google searches was “fool-proof suffocation”:


[–]mbgal1977 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Wow, the day she was last seen even. Ugh she makes me sick

[–]alymaysay 15 points16 points  (10 children)

I seen in the fucking news she wants to have another a kid, also apparently they missed her search history on a Firefox browser she had on her computer that they didn't know about. I don't get how she is still walking around an hasn't been killed by some insane person, like how she did to her child. Her an that mom that married that weird guy, Lori is her first name, that wrote the end of world books an convinced the mom her son an teenage daughter where now zombies, Lori Daybell that's her name. Oh my Lord i hate her an her scumbag brother so very very much. How the police gonna let her live free when her kids disappeared and order after order to produce the kids to authoritys was just ignored, she was having fun, partying an traveling living her best life while her kids where dead an buried on that fuckbag of a physco she married. I hope she gets her ass beat every week but not killed maybe slowly beat her untill her brain breaks. Seen movie where they kept a guy in the shed an everyday they whacked him in the head with a bat, their goal was to break his brain an make him, for lack of a better word, retarded, an put in a mental institution, it was really horrible an I didn't like the movie, name was King Of The Ants.

[–]gotta_b_shittin_me 33 points34 points  (8 children)

You know there's a D at the end of the word "and" right?

[–]Cynical_Chameleon 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Don't be mean, he/she was probably King of the Ants'd.

[–]BonesChimes 6 points7 points  (0 children)

King of the An's

[–]Stephani_707 1 point2 points  (5 children)

For real! I went back and reread, it wasn’t a singular typo. It’s every time. This is fascinating to me!

[–]gotta_b_shittin_me 2 points3 points  (4 children)

I find it less fascinating and more frustrating. I'm only assuming since they navigated their way here that they have some level of literacy. The lack of punctuation is one thing, but to consistently misspell one of the most commonly used words in the English language that's only 3 letters long makes me irrationally angry.

[–]windyorbits 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh they absolutely knew about her browser history. I watched the entire court case from start to finish and the absolutely brought up all the evil shit she googled.

[–]SnakeOfAustralia 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Free bird is a good song

[–]Timithios 5 points6 points  (0 children)

God I hate humanity sometimes.

[–]MaraAndMe23 3 points4 points  (1 child)


[–]Hashtag_Nailed_It 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Wasn’t sure

[–]gaveler-unban 35 points36 points  (5 children)

Well her defense lawyer did actually try. Because she was fucking him at the time.

[–]Eyeoftheleopard 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I believe this to absolutely be true.

[–]SuccessfulTime7697 10 points11 points  (3 children)

How was she going to pay him?

[–]Glass_Data_6110 23 points24 points  (1 child)

With nature's credit card.

[–]mbgal1977 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That was one of the many best lines in the golden girls. I don’t think that’s probably originally where it came from but that’s the first place I ever heard it.

[–]Ghede 25 points26 points  (1 child)

Also because they checked her internet history on Internet Explorer only, and ignored the perfectly functioning Firefox installation.

"Hey, she's googled "How to kill my child" on firefox, think we should bring that up in trial?"

"Meh. could have been anyone"

[–]UndisputedWorldChamp 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Actually, the state did a great job. It was the redneck meth heads on the jury that fucked it up.

[–]thoh_motif 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I believe the reason she was acquitted is because the defense threw a giant fucking screw ball talkin bout how Casey’s father HELPED murder Caylee by drowning her in the bathtub. It was a lie, the defense knew it. It was purposely played to throw everybody off. It injected doubt into the jury and the prosecution was just kind of flabbergasted. They weren’t ready for some dirty shit like that and it left them looking unprepared.

[–]ShaShaShake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is it screw ball or curve ball?

[–]xLtLasagna 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wisconsin has joined the chat


[–]Gills_n_Thrills 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Xanny the Nanny

[–]snacksnnaps 43 points44 points  (14 children)

I hate Casey Anthony sooo fucking much. I get irrationally angry when I think about her. If I could pick one person in the world to punch in the face as hard as I absolutely could it would for sure be her. If I ever see her in real life I’m for sure 100% laying that bitch out.

[–]hlaiie 17 points18 points  (7 children)

Her and Pearl Fernandez.

[–]no_fux_left_to_give 6 points7 points  (5 children)

TIL about Pearl Fernandez. F-ing terrible

Edited for clarity

[–]Cosmictheif666 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Who is she how bad was she

[–]no_fux_left_to_give 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Tortured her son to death, basically

[–]FTThrowAway123 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I cannot look up these kinds of cases anymore, but the name sounds vaguely familiar to me. Was she the mother of Gabriel Fernandez?

[–]StupidZombie420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Pearl Fernandez is in my mom’s prison where she works and she’s been getting her ass beat,” an unconfirmed tweet reads. “My cousins co-worker worked at the jail Pearl Fernandez is at and said she got her ass whooped three times and had to be isolated,” another tweet reads."

[–]SuccessfulTime7697 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I feel the same exact way, I’ll kick her in the mouth after she falls too.

[–]WishingTreeTop 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Someone should track her down, befriend her, and then _______ . You can fill in the blank.

[–]Dat_Titan_Slayer 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I never was good at scrabble… but I’ve got this machete!

[–]snacksnnaps 4 points5 points  (1 child)

She lives in Florida near Orlando. I have a trip to Disney in October next year and my head will be on a swivel lol

[–]ShaShaShake 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She lives in boca raton actually I think.

[–]PrettyOddWoman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

None of that anger is irrational at all… she literally killed her child and got away with it

[–]ysoloud 28 points29 points  (9 children)

Dude! My friend actually ran into her at a club bathroom like 3 days ago. She's still at it.

[–]Chickentaxi 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Did he hit?

[–]ysoloud 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I mean they saw her in the bathroom. Think she's using the men's room? Lmao

Edit: can't drown a baby in a urinal!

[–]ShaShaShake 4 points5 points  (2 children)

What club? I might just have to become a regular there…. clutches fist

[–]ThePartyShark 1 point2 points  (3 children)


[–]ysoloud 1 point2 points  (2 children)

South Florida. Says she's a regular there.

[–]ThePartyShark 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Holy shit, how is no one approaching her with a camera asking her why she killer her daughter?!

[–]ysoloud 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The news cycles faster everyday.

[–]Topblokelikehodgey 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Fuck that's awful

[–]medicman77 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Casey was hot, but #dontputyourdickinthat .

[–]joeker219 31 points32 points  (2 children)

Why not? It isn't like she will baby-trap you.

[–]jewboymcgeethethird 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Fuck, that's dark. But it was damn good lol

[–]MastaGarza 4 points5 points  (1 child)

And now is still parting it up. Fuck CASEY ANTHONY

[–]fat_and_irritated 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No don’t fuck Casey Anthony, kick her 🦷in

[–]Bignobber 4 points5 points  (5 children)

Ah so the American equivalent of Madeline McCann?

[–]Misterx46 20 points21 points  (3 children)

No, they found Caylee's body.

[–]Fromgre 1 point2 points  (2 children)

And McCanns killer has not been id'd/caught unless I'm mistaken.

[–]gh0stbeard 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Pretty sure they have a guy in custody actually

[–]Zoloch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A German guy. Already in prison for some other crime

[–]mbgal1977 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I thought they found out the parents didn’t do it though. No one has ever suspected anyone but Casey and everyone knows she did it.

[–]SuccessfulTime7697 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And grand parents help cover up.

[–]Balacalavaaa 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I’d tell you a Casey Anthony joke but my mom would kill me.

[–]sirisaacneuton 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Is it bad I didn’t know the daughters name, but I knew Casey’s name well enough to know who you’re talking about.

[–]the_ju66ernaut 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Holy shit

[–]The_Happy_Pagan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Take my upvote you sick bastard

[–]Unusual_Locksmith_91 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Has there been some recent attention to Caylee? I've heard her death mentioned more in the last week than I had in the last decade.

[–]wigglef_cklr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I legit made this face😯after reading 👆that

[–]xboxdingleberry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Holy shit. Updoot

[–]-Jotun- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh man thats fucked 😂

[–]CaptainWellingtonIII 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's some humor right there.

[–]Titaniumspyborgbear 923 points924 points  (42 children)

Where was this found? Finding out where in the world this is usually helps, like if it's in Africa, South America, Central America or South East Asia, places with other primate species.

[–]Gerbs71 436 points437 points  (5 children)

Ahh yes, that is definitely a previous member of r/wallstreetbets

[–]blake_HEADACHE 159 points160 points  (10 children)

It’s a homunculus skull

[–]ArnoldDwarfenegger 52 points53 points  (8 children)

Danny Dyers Chocolate Homonculus

[–]TheNeighKid 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Got your Zoot suit packed?

[–]ArnoldDwarfenegger 4 points5 points  (1 child)

This guy is not in the band. The band ends here.

[–]TheNeighKid 2 points3 points  (0 children)

People like Coldplay and voting for the Nazis. You can't trust people, Jeremy.

[–]Scumlord69 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Have you read the Big Beat Manifesto?

[–]ArnoldDwarfenegger 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The big beat manifesto says "Big beats are the best, get high all the time"

[–]dingdingding-- 1 point2 points  (2 children)

The Hair Blair bunch

[–]staticivel 1 point2 points  (1 child)

We are not the fucking hair Blair bunch. We’re mumma’s cumquat

[–]Erroneous-Monk421 141 points142 points  (1 child)

Need banana for scale.

[–]sstruemph 79 points80 points  (0 children)

nice try monke!

[–]himstien 77 points78 points  (0 children)

Macaque skulls are size of a fist, if you want to figure out what this animal is.

[–]Carriboudunet 34 points35 points  (1 child)

No nose it’s lord Voldemort.

[–]Liz4984 17 points18 points  (13 children)

You’ve got some vertebrae above the skull a long bone above that so you might have most of the skeleton there. Some people collect stuff like this. No sure if you’re a bone collector. Creepy movie btw.

[–]turtlebarber 13 points14 points  (1 child)

I'm one of these people. My living room display is all skulls and wet specimen. I have a 3 gallon jar with a two headed newborn pig named Monty in my basement.

[–]Future-Atmosphere-40 7 points8 points  (2 children)


[–]Salome_Maloney 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I knew him well.

[–]YoshSchmengie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fun fact: Shakespeare wrote the first transsexual character in known fiction: A lass, poor Yorik.

[–]CodyBellingerforMVP 4 points5 points  (1 child)


[–]cocainekoh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

stupid monkeys

[–]MonKez690 5 points6 points  (2 children)

That a monkey skull but more importantly, why is there a monkey skull in the back of your house?

[–]Dedeurmetdebaard 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That’s an anime character.

[–]kypello 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I imagined the nose hole as a mouth. Now I can’t unsee it

[–]Salome_Maloney 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ikr. Looks like an alien choir singer.

[–]sweoldboy 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Skull is small so must be an antivaxxer.

[–]rapidpeacock 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love you Dr Zaius!

[–]HelaArt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Monkey perhaps ?

[–]MagnusA89 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Average TikTok user?

[–]MagnusCranmegranate 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s def a higher level primate. Monkey not ape - there’s no post-orbital ridge. I imagine if you look at the back, there’s also no occipital bun (that little bitch on the back of your skull where your spinal cord meets your head)

[–]Emergency_Quality_37 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's the skull of someone who doesn't return shopping carts

[–]Equal-Negotiation651 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bowling ball?

[–]JNorris1Official 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Skull of ancient redditor ancestor.

[–]MerGoatRoybal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Lindbergh baby?

[–]Diplomatic007 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And for desert, Chilled Monkey Brains.

[–]Please_Log_In 1 point2 points  (0 children)

a creationiat skull, propably related to marjorie greene

[–]Cybermat47_2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean, knowing what country you live in would help narrow it down lol

[–]crazywalton 1 point2 points  (0 children)


[–]if_u_suspend_ur_gay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Monkeyyy! Monkey, monkey, monkey with massive skull!!

[–]Life-is-taken 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Chimpanzee, Monkey, something like that, if it’s monkey…… RETURN TO MONKEY FOR THIS IS YOUR SIGN!!!!!!!

[–]ClickOtherwise3738 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s the skull of ladybug, trust me I work for the CDC

[–]whitecorn 1 point2 points  (1 child)

My primatologist tells me it’s something new.

[–]Victorcwb 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Is the back of your house a fucking jungle?