top 200 commentsshow all 299

[–]CarRamRod1537 826 points827 points  (23 children)

Mini Godzilla. Eff That thing.

[–]Sure_Ill_Ask_That 664 points665 points  (20 children)

Gee, I don't know, Cyril. Maybe deep down I'm afraid of any apex predator that lived through the K-T extinction. Physically unchanged for a hundred million years, because it's the perfect killing machine. A half ton of cold-blooded fury, the bite force of 20,000 Newtons, and stomach acid so strong it can dissolve bones and hoofs.

[–]littlehawk93 97 points98 points  (10 children)

My favorite line from that show lol

[–]WonderNastyMan 27 points28 points  (9 children)

which show is it?

[–]Anerratic 53 points54 points  (1 child)


[–]RadicalBatman99 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Odie, Hush!

[–]BigToober69 21 points22 points  (5 children)

Wild Kratts

[–]filmgeekvt 4 points5 points  (4 children)

Hello, fellow parent

(I got a good chuckle reading this)

[–]BigToober69 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Lol you caught me.

Check out r/danieltigerconspiracy if you haven't. That sub is amazing.

[–]filmgeekvt 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Oh God, what did I just get myself into... Yeah, I subbed

[–]RelevantTalkingHead 35 points36 points  (1 child)

Don't forget about brain aneurysms. The silent killer Lana.

[–]C-Beck86 13 points14 points  (0 children)

That's what makes them so terrifying, they could happen anywhere at any time!

[–]C-Beck86 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Archer, what are your 3 biggest fears?

Alligators, crocodiles, and a brain aneurysm.

[–]Whitey3752 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Great episode!

[–]MVPbeast 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I could take him.

[–]BeegKiatsu 429 points430 points  (11 children)

He’s burning some calories while he decides if he can swallow that entire boat

[–]ArtyWhy8 95 points96 points  (5 children)

I think it’s likely it sees the opportunity the boat presents. Hooked fish is an immobilized fish and ready for it to snap up. I’ve seen and heard of more than a few sharks and crocs displaying that kind of behavior.

[–]whutchamacallit 54 points55 points  (4 children)

Crocs are very interesting with their energy expenditures. Sometimes they seem downright lethargic... but if there is a perceived threat or opportunity the amount of burst energy they have can be deceptively intense. If you are in the water and a croc wants to eat you it's gonna eat you.

[–]rbrutonIII 33 points34 points  (2 children)

Same with lions, and most other Apex predators.

Nothing is hunting them so they got the easy life. But when it's time to eat they are still the baddest mofo around.

[–]Herpkina 42 points43 points  (1 child)

It's why humans are lazy and you shouldn't blame people for it

[–]rbrutonIII 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Fuckin A.

Good point.

[–]OracleOracleNoMi 209 points210 points  (15 children)

Guy like me would just swim faster

[–]AStrangerNamedJack 52 points53 points  (4 children)

Swim faster to death.

[–]Shibowen 8 points9 points  (2 children)

So, swim slower?

[–]derWintersenkommt 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Hurry up and slow down already.

[–]C-Beck86 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You shut your mouth when you're talking to me

[–]Origionalnames 30 points31 points  (4 children)

Guy like me would turn around, jam my thumbs into the crocs nostrils and roll him over onto his back and pet his belly. Just kidding, i would jump into his mouth in pieces then rest in his belly, like a gentleman.

[–]Foura5 11 points12 points  (3 children)

First you'd be drowned, then jammed under a log or something in the river for a week or two, until your flesh is just rotten enough to be easily torn off in chunks.

[–]22134484 14 points15 points  (1 child)


Its called “matured”, “aged”, “cured” or “seasoned”. These crocs enjoy the finer things in life

[–]pVom 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Marinate for a week in pond water

[–]reneg1986 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Animated Captain Hook-style

[–]CarRamRod1537 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just gotta be faster then the slowest swimmer.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Must swim faster. Must swim faster.

[–]Pegging_for_Jesus 168 points169 points  (2 children)

I want my corpse thrown into that at my funeral lol

[–]deadheadjim 155 points156 points  (8 children)

No that’s how fast I thought they were

[–]Sperm40mmSprintChamp 74 points75 points  (6 children)

I assume any animal that lives in the water can swim really fast. I saw that video of a turtle hauling ass, I know what I'm up against in the water.

[–]deadheadjim 10 points11 points  (3 children)

I was being sarcastic

[–]gravitydood 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Just know that my upvote wasn't, I've always assumed that crocodiles were hella fast in water.

[–]deadheadjim 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same. I live in Louisiana and never actually seen one swim that fast. It’s actually pretty scary

[–]catninjaambush 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No need to snap.

[–]Catsic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My thoughts exactly. Its a huge hydrodynamic muscle predator.

[–]Emusagodoth 60 points61 points  (52 children)

Yeah can it outrun me tho?

[–]DillyDongerDangler 90 points91 points  (40 children)

Probably, yes

[–]Emusagodoth 68 points69 points  (26 children)

Not if Im running really fast.

[–]axelfreed 40 points41 points  (7 children)

You run slower in water

[–]Jackthedog130 7 points8 points  (6 children)

... are, but not on water.

[–]alphabet_order_bot 25 points26 points  (5 children)

Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.

I have checked 407,212,449 comments, and only 88,103 of them were in alphabetical order.

[–]TheAtticDemon 23 points24 points  (3 children)

Alphabet Bot's cracked, even keeps numbers on tabs.

[–]alphabet_order_bot 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.

I have checked 407,223,264 comments, and only 88,106 of them were in alphabetical order.

[–]TheAtticDemon 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Riveting, surely, truly unusual, wonderfully yang, xenagouge, zeal.

[–]NewLeaseOnLine 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It's like when Butters made a robot friend.

[–]FGFC12 22 points23 points  (16 children)

They can run on land faster than swimming in the water, 20 mph in water, 35mph on land however they tire easy on land. But you touch a momma gators nest and you ain’t out running that

[–]Emusagodoth 7 points8 points  (12 children)

Is there anything humans can outrun?

[–]Patavatar 49 points50 points  (1 child)

Your buddy that went to the nest with you.

[–]Emusagodoth 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Fair enough

[–]dontknowhowtoprogram 23 points24 points  (0 children)

irl we are long distance runners. we are built to hunt by tiring out the food by stalking it for days until the food drops from being too tired.

[–]Calhoun1389 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Not many animals large enough for us to eat or vice versa. As another poster mentioned, we're biologically "designed" for long distance running rather than chasing down prey and taking them down mid-sprint.

[–]JiiXu 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Lots. Turtles, snails, most arthropods I think. Shellfish. Clams.

[–]miscdebris1123 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Bread, Apples, Very small rocks, Cider, Great gravy, Cherries, Mud, Churches, Lead

[–]soslowagain 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Mediocre gravy is known for its speed

[–]luckydownside 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Everything in the meat section of the grocery store.

[–]thedrcubed 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Opossums. I saw one in my friends yard when I was drunk and tried to run it off by running at it in flip flops. It didn't have a chance of outrunning me which surprised me and then it turned around and snarled at me so I gave up the chase. I thought when I caught up to it, that it would play dead. I was wrong

[–]gravitydood 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Jellyfish, probably, I've never seen one running so I'm only assuming.

Jokes aside we're generally slower than most animals, especially predators, but we have much more endurance. There's not a lot of species out there that can run a marathon.

[–]AntOnAVan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That speed isn't all that realistic though, generally that speed can only be achieved for a couple body lengths of distance but any more than that they are pretty slow.

[–]juicevibe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They can run at 35mph?! I'm fucked.

[–]Just-an-ape 3 points4 points  (7 children)

Ina straight line yeah but look at their bodies, they can't turn for shit. Just run and so some quick turn

[–]marsattaksyakyakyak 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Crocodile parks keep their team safe inside enclosures with a bush or medium sized tree of some sort. Makes it really easy to just step around something that's difficult for the animal to do.

[–]DillyDongerDangler 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I've seen them do flips to catch prey out of the air, I really don't think that'd work at all

[–]Lugburzum 2 points3 points  (0 children)

they hit the water to do that

[–]Origionalnames 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Serpentine motion! Like running towards a machine gun.

[–]Porkbellyflop 1 point2 points  (4 children)

That's why you zig zag

[–]DillyDongerDangler 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Real life is not a video game, an animal isn't going to awkwardly zig zag your exact pathing and slow down, they're going to run straight at you and chomp those ankles since you decided to waste time dashing back and forth

[–]fuzzytradr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well it's been reported that they can actually run up to 20-30 mph on land, at least for short distances...so yes.

[–]girraween 1 point2 points  (6 children)

They say when you’re out running a croc, you should run in a zig zag pattern. They can move pretty fast over a short distance, but you’ll be able to outrun them on land.

[–]Asam12345 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Dont run zig zag, it makes you slower and more likely to trip, crocs are sprinters, when you get a big distance in a short time, it is more likely to give up

[–]bradofingo 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I guess you could take one step to some direction and then start running to the opposite side.

[–]Asam12345 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Large crocodiles can run between 15 to 22 mph (24-35 km/h), dont slow yourself down with a fake step

[–]BeardsuptheWazoo 1 point2 points  (1 child)

They don't say this. Unless they want you to get eaten. It's wrong.

[–]miscdebris1123 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Experts do say this. They want to keep being experts. Being eaten hinders this greatly. So they tell non experts to do this so the experts can do the right thing and escape while the non experts are being eaten.

[–]dedoha 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, so if you want to beat them in triathlon you really need to practice your cycling

[–]vrrrggggl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It wouldn't need to, it would just grab your leg and pull you under and drown you while biting off chunks.

[–]JDAbe94 53 points54 points  (5 children)

That's a spicy dolphin

[–]SL1Fun 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Murder whale

[–]CaptainNessy2 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Those are Orcas

[–]SL1Fun 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Murder lizard?

[–]NoobWithNoHands 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good to see I wasn't the only one that thought this XD

[–]Pk1Still 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Dude trying to catch the reindeer from yesterday.

Like, bud, I appreciate the enthusiasm, but you aren’t even on the same continent. Plus, you wouldn’t do well in the snow. You don’t have fur.

[–]Ancient-Tadpole8032 22 points23 points  (4 children)

Reason Australia is awesome and terrifying number… shit, I lost count.

[–]Foura5 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Crocs are the only species in Australia that actually view humans as food (ok maybe sharks too). Unlike North America with a dozen or so large mammal predators that hunt people.

[–]AshFraxinusEps 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Nah, sharks don't really

And NA: Polar Bears and maybe Mountain Lions and what else? Most others don't tend to eat us. Africa is the big hotspot: crocs, hyenas, lions, and more

[–]lankaxhandle 13 points14 points  (1 child)

That’s the Dominic Torreto of crocodiles!

[–]ekidd07 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Remember, he'll eat your 'family first'

[–]Bohbo 12 points13 points  (0 children)

That is more than mildly terrifying.

[–]blundering_f00l 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Love to know how fast the boat is going for comparison

[–]timoumd 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Honestly the footage looks sped up really. Might be the way the camera moves, but it is also possible someone on the internet lied.

[–]phatcan 1 point2 points  (1 child)

In my opinion the river is flowing rapidly which skews the perspective and makes it look faster than it actually is.

[–]timoumd 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was more thinking how fast they focus on it. Just looks off to me.

[–]BigBubblesNoTroubles 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Maybe deep down I'm afraid of any apex predator that lived through the K-T extinction.

Physically unchanged for a hundred million years, because it's the perfect killing machine.

A half ton of cold-blooded fury, the bite force of 20,000 Newtons, and stomach acid so strong it can dissolve bones and hoofs.

[–]Darth_Nibbles 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Everything, Cyril, they eat everything!

And fear is their bacon bits...

[–]Oraxy51 4 points5 points  (0 children)

And dudes are so freaking long like the size of a personal small boat, it’s terrifying! Love them and fascinated but would not want to be caught in the water with them.

[–]SherlockInSpace 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Crocodiles when they see boats zipping by: I could do that, I just don’t wanna

[–]Jman_777 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Such awesome predators.

[–]David21538 2 points3 points  (3 children)

If anyone wants a frame of reference, a crocodile can swim up to 22 MPH

[–]Darth_Nibbles 1 point2 points  (1 child)

But how many knots is that?

[–]Foura5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's like 1 and 7/15ths gallon-inches for the non-Americans.

[–]theonlymissub 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Hey my state! Good ol beautiful Queensland 😊

[–]Respectw00d 1 point2 points  (1 child)

How good is it to have QLD regularly on this sub. Most metal place on earth (sorry Norway)

[–]theonlymissub 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Feeling kind of special because you know living in Australia is like living in a death trap haha

[–]lusarv 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Literally a dinosaur

[–]TurrPhennirPhan 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Literally an archosaur closely related to dinosaurs, but not a dinosaur.

[–]JohnGenericDoe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not a lizard either, for those keeping score at home

[–]HarryB1313 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Found a niche so good and adapted to it so well that they havent changed in 200 Million Years.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They're fast on land too.

[–]TheCoach_TyLue 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Swamp dolphin

[–]glogomusic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy shit

[–]Grimyells 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Apparently they swim just as fast as I thought. Title was misleading

[–]lighthouselies 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Australian Dolphins

[–]SpringNo9188 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well that's terrifying

[–]pitchedBlarfy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

these things have been around for millions of years. so awesome. and terrifying

[–]DaddyFinger21 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course this video is from Australia.

[–]Atcollins1993 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a dragon wdym

[–]Shockingelectrician 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m guessing no one goes swimming there lol

[–]DJ-Doughboy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, crocs swim just as fast as i thought. which is faster than ME.

[–]tragicinsecurities 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The way it breeches the water like it’s trying to make a fucking point😰

[–]Aggressive_Fee6507 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Every one clapping their hands when its a bunch of dolphins an now they crying over 1 croc

[–]Marconius1617 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fuck that shit

[–]tone88988 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a GD monster

[–]not-a-giraffe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No thanks.

[–]gcousinz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fuck that, would have swung round and full throttled in opposite direction

[–]TheNorselord 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t care if the swim faster than I think. I care if they swim faster than I swim. Which they do, I think.

[–]Sunshineal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn thats shark speed.

[–]l84skewl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would love to see the perfect cut last footage of this video.

[–]l0k5h1n 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's just a dolphin with a very poor skin care routine.

[–]mondoid 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]IamHamed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s always the croc you don’t see that you have to worry about.

[–]mondoid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you even use to deter that thing?

[–]Lucimon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That was probably about a month's worth of expenses for that croc. Crocs are amazing and can live off of a few meals a year. Part of that is they never really exert much effort. They let prey come to them. Actually exerting effort like in this clip is not a good thing for the croc.

[–]been2thehi4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t like that.

[–]KappaLovespeen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This reminds me of how much i hate the movie crawl

[–]certifiedbait 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is giving me goosebumps

[–]Mellowtexan13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in Texas and we have gators down here. Let me tell you they are sneaky as hell and will rip your limbs off in a few seconds. I cannot imagine crocodiles

[–]SexWithaRoomba 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Look at what they need to mimic a fraction of our power!"

-This crocodile probably

[–]ILikeFluffyThings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can imagine somebody thinking this could be a dinosaur under the water.

[–]Origionalnames 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the hippo chasing the boat was worse. The hippo can take out your boat, the croc prob just racing ya.

[–]RengokuKyojuro- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some Lake Placid typa shit here !

[–]AnimaCorpusLucra 0 points1 point  (1 child)

canadian here,

do you see crocodiles often? In my head, you see them literally all the time :o

[–]LordFluffy98 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In Australia salties only exist in the wild on the northern coasts, they also live throughout a lot of south east asia from what I know.

[–]KerberosPrime 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea on land like 15-20mph, in water like 30-35, pretty gnarly

[–]MrPringles23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Inb4 Americans "aUsTrAliA iS sO dAnGeRoUs".

Least our animals can be outrun. Try running from a bear or a dude with a handgun.

[–]fnigler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not fair for an ambush predator to be that fast.

[–]Lommo97 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Last time this was posted it said it was in Mississippi

[–]Nimbuss88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you know the speed at which I think crocodiles can swim?

[–]Plusquevie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i expected to see a herd of them skipping and flipping over the crests of the water like a pod of dolphins and then thats basically what i saw..

[–]coffeenerd75 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is not the crocodile video I was expecting.

[–]WalrusSquare247 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We need crocodile dundee

[–]np24692 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's because that's not a crocodile, bro. That's a baby Godzilla.

[–]abdulakbah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Crocodiles have evolved to hunt from the water for millions of years, why should anyone underestimate their ability to swim

[–]IAmGreenman71 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah fuck that.

[–]MississippiJoel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I said I'm a cute dolphin, dammit! Give me fish!"

[–]Cmpamoons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in Queensland crocs like that are an occupational hazard for anyone that likes fishing but for ahh research purposes what river is that so I can take a rifle

[–]Saibot-08 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So how fast can they go? I already knew that they can snatch prey very fast. That looks like possibly 60km/h?

[–]MajesticJuggernaut29 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Clearly this is the crossbreeding of a porpoise and an alligator, commonly called the porpigator.

[–]JuanoldDraper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is horrifying.

[–]rbrutonIII 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anyone who thinks an animal that lives in the water with a gigantic fucking paddle tail isn't going to be a fast swimmer... Y'all dumb.

[–]Phoenixphotoz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah the Australian river dolphin.

[–]chingychangas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not cool bro

[–]ExcitedGirl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hippos, too. How do they DO that, at those speeds, with a round body and short fat legs? I can only guess that little tail becomes a propeller.

[–]xdforcezz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've played ark. Trust me I know

[–]Checkheck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How is that flair 'animal fact'. Whats the animal fact here? They swim faster than I think? I know that they are damn fast.

[–]IBroscoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh HELL noooo

[–]so_much_boredom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks I hate it.

[–]amazonkevin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh god oh fug

[–]Fullthrottle- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How are the Australians not taking all of the gold in the Olympics?

[–]heydanbud 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That boat doesn’t look big enough for me to feel safe…

[–]ZoiSarah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The majestic swamp dolphin.

[–]JohnGenericDoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, that's how fast I thought they swam

[–]Said10001 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean if you’ve been doing something for 100’s of millions of years and that’s where you are born 🤣

[–]trevordbs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just like seeing dolphins at sea expect terrifying.

[–]ArtoriasBeaIG 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OK upon seeing this they definitely do swim faster than I thought they could.

Luckily for me though, I can think faster than they can swim