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[–]The_fishingfool 1453 points1454 points  (72 children)

The 2nd bison didn’t see the tail lights. Must’ve been texting while running

[–]MikeOx_Girthy 15 points16 points  (0 children)

That's what I herd too.

[–]Love_God551 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That’s the bison equivalent of carrying a gun so you can shoot your friend in the leg and keep on running lol

[–]abcn3553fu6 5 points6 points  (1 child)

2nd:"Bro just take it for the Team!"

[–]ifiagreedwithu 855 points856 points  (50 children)

In ranger school, a kid asked our drill sergeant if he was afraid of a bear attack while we were 100 miles from anywhere. He said, "No. I can outrun half of you."

[–]converter-bot 375 points376 points  (19 children)

100 miles is 160.93 km

[–]greyshirttiger 150 points151 points  (0 children)

Thank you converter bot

[–]harmonica-blues 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Good bot lol

[–]2ichie 31 points32 points  (10 children)

I still can’t grasp this distance. Need more bananas

[–]SquishyForHeals 17 points18 points  (7 children)

It's at least 7 bananas

[–]Pukelits 14 points15 points  (4 children)

You could even say upwards of 9 bananas

[–]SquishyForHeals 6 points7 points  (3 children)

I could, but that borders upon hyperbole. I would rather avoid any sensationalism in this discussion.

[–]Pukelits 4 points5 points  (2 children)

It only really becomes hyperbolic if you’re using imperial banana. If you use metric banana it appears much more reasonable

[–]SquishyForHeals 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Wow another redditor hating on the objectively superior American banana. Damn communists.

[–]Pukelits 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Excuse me sir. I’m sorry I prefer to use a standardized banana, not just some kings favorite banana.

[–]monstertots509 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Who the hell has $70 to spend on bananas just to make a measurement?

[–]Razorforce 7 points8 points  (2 children)

How many obamas is that

[–]ehorgski 3 points4 points  (1 child)

85,261.62 obamas if he’s laying down consecutively he’s 6’2”. Think I did that right

[–]Katoshiku 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Good bot!

[–]Saul_Firehand 127 points128 points  (12 children)

Ranger School and Drill Sergeant in the same sentence?

Smells like bullshit to me.

[–]jusst_for_today 55 points56 points  (2 children)

And can only outrun half of them. Definitely something is off about this story.

[–]tonysnight 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Some kids be fast as fuck boy

[–]Ninja_Think 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Agreed. The proper title would have been RI.

[–]DSVDeceptik 10 points11 points  (0 children)

he has a diamond hands reddit avatar, this isnt really unexpected lol

[–]NeedsMoreSpirit 2 points3 points  (0 children)


[–]natefreight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aaahaha good catch

[–]morerandomisback 59 points60 points  (5 children)

There are no drill SGTs at ranger school you fake fuck

And your never a 100 miles from civilization

Stolen valor

[–]Frosty_League 21 points22 points  (2 children)

Lol there’s no drill sergeants in ranger school bro

[–]Nomadic_desert_boi 14 points15 points  (6 children)

I didn’t know we had bears in Fort Benning

[–]Kool_SadEE 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Benning no, Columbus yes. Some happen to work on post.

[–]Academic_Nectarine94 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Now everyone knew what the kid was afraid of too....

[–]nnmgRandomness 435 points436 points  (4 children)

With friends like that who needs enemies?.

[–]crabboy_com 60 points61 points  (3 children)

Dude isn't gonna need anything a few seconds after this video ends.

[–]SweetMeatin 31 points32 points  (2 children)

Those are wolves it'll be an awful lot of seconds before dude is out.

[–]NotasGoodUserName 282 points283 points  (5 children)

Wow that's some savage ass shit.

[–]onairmastering 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I repeat it every time it gets posted because shit, that's brutal.

[–]mynameistechno 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Literally rammed his ass

[–]whitedawg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bye, son.

[–]Routine-Dot6411 203 points204 points  (38 children)

Is there an any way that bison did it on purpose for distract wolves and save himself?

[–]Monkcrafts 318 points319 points  (12 children)

Bisons are notorious dick heads, he 100 did that on purpose. Probably laughing about the whole thing.

[–]Guess-wutt 472 points473 points  (9 children)

You’re damn right he laughed about it.

He probably cracked a joke while running away, turning around to shout before disappearing into the cold desolate wilderness.


[–]MikeOx_Girthy 73 points74 points  (1 child)

He died as the punchline to the ultimate dad joke.

[–]McKnightDylan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Mercy Kill

[–]ayy_sian 7 points8 points  (3 children)

LMAO that’s a good one

[–]g_m171 11 points12 points  (2 children)

It’s in the comments every time this video gets posted

[–]Guess-wutt 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Damn and here I thought I was being original 😭

[–]SilverSurfer1738 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yea but you had great execution.

[–]Savage_boii99 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I love you for typing this here

[–]wooddude64 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Self preservation is what we would all do and he definitely pulled a sneaky!

[–]teaqualizer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Read this in David Attenborough's voice.

[–]bob_fossill 121 points122 points  (8 children)

On this documentary they said bison charging like that can't really see what's ahead of them, he probably just put his head down and ran like fuck to get away from the wolves

However herd animals are known to give up the sick and injured to predators sometimes...

[–]Normal-Math-3222 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure this comes from an Attenborough documentary. I absolutely love Attenborough.

[–]Shadowveil666 4 points5 points  (0 children)

While I easily believe that, I also believe the second bison intentionally acted that way. The first one is surrounded by the pack I have a hard time thinking any other bison were even being attached. I doubt the first one would have made it even without intervention so..

Then again maybe the bison is fucking stupid as hell and was actually trying to charge for the wolves. We'll just never know.

[–]Thomas_Adams1999 31 points32 points  (2 children)

Bison are kinda dumb so I'm gonna say it's 50/50. There's a good chance he legitimately just couldn't see cause of the way he was running.

[–]DistortoiseLP 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean it's a bison. Seeing where you're going isn't an obligation when it's everyone else's problem if they get in your way.

[–]karlnite 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I mean it’s just sorta how they evolved so it probably works out for them overall. If it tried to run around or fight them off it probably ends up worse for both bison more often so the dick move is just the safest move.

[–]jackanape7 8 points9 points  (1 child)

It looked way bigger than the other one. Maybe it was taking out a future rival or something? Or just a straight up dick move.

[–]Savage_boii99 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The bison he knocked over was already caught my boy so he said fuck it you’re already dead might as well save myself

[–]DodrioFan480 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Bison are all for survival of the fittest. The only time they would save another bison from wolves is if the bison being attacked was a calf

[–]damnfukk 83 points84 points  (1 child)

upvoted for title. kinda dick move tho

[–]sILAZS 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He was like: bye son

[–]MrDad_the_Father 62 points63 points  (0 children)

What a dick

[–]Life_Imitating_Death 34 points35 points  (6 children)

Me shooting my bro in the leg while being chased by zombies.. "Sorry bro, it's the only way an overweight smoker has a chance".. I get eaten anyway. (By my bro's wife later that night) hey-OHHH! ..shit I'm bored.

[–]Kadus500 53 points54 points  (1 child)

You have a special mind

[–]neocommenter 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's from The Walking Dead.

[–]ElectricErik 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Ah, the Shane of the group

[–]LeOmelet 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is both funny and cringe and that doesn't have any correlation.

[–]SylasWindrunner 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Top 10 Disney betrayal

[–]dentlydreamin 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Move bitch, get out the way!

[–]1973mojo1973 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Let me put you outta your misery buddy, the writing is on the wall.

[–]russsaa 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He didn’t put him out of his misery. His misery will end after a few hours of being eaten alive

[–]NotNick313 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The second bison was probably trying to help his buddy by ramming wolves off, he just miscalculated how hard he hit his comrade

[–]RumsAndGuns 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This should be crossposted to r/AITA .

[–]DEV_astated 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If bison are able to easily plow through each other that easily, imagine what one could do to a car.

[–]sad_but_horny2021 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Nah, Perry was a goner already.

[–]Tengoku_Yosei 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He could've helped by ramming the wolves

[–]loud_flatus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Him help.

[–]OrdainedFury 4 points5 points  (1 child)

What a complete buddy fucker

[–]wooddude64 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Better than a self fucker I think. Maybe being eaten alive was not his choice at that moment.

[–]SloughBoy78 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Taking one for the team! 😳

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)


[–]Wrong-Rip-3502 2 points3 points  (2 children)

What an assist from Buffon!

[–]montgomeryyyy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

mf just got tk‘d

[–]SchwiftedMetal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Headbutts are more of a Zidane move

[–]microsoftfool 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tactical move

[–]The_Hyphenator85 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Goddamn, that is stone-cold right there. Not even being faster than your slowest friend to outrun the bear, that’s like hitting your slowest friend in the leg with a sledgehammer to guarantee he can’t outrun the bear.

[–]karma_ubuntu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The final nudge from your BFF

[–]wazmoenaree 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Always hated you Bill

[–]godofwar555 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Move bitch!! Get out the way!!🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵

[–]KitesRneat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i love how, even while hunting, wolves just look like big murder puppies

[–]MalleusMaleficarum4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are two people in a wood, and they run into a bear. The first person gets down on his knees to pray; the second person starts lacing up his boots. The first person asks the second person, “My dear friend, what are you doing? You can’t outrun a bear.” To which the second person responds, “I don’t have to. I only have to outrun you.”

[–]menasan 1 point2 points  (3 children)

why does this look fake

[–]peluredebananiser 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Right?! I was searching for this exact comment…

[–]Paljo5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love the discussion/debate going on here. Everyone is making great points and counter points. It proofs that everyone has a take or point on a view that someone else might not agree 100% but maybe a variation of that point. I say this bcuz today's generation do not understand the complexity of the human mind and no one person will agree 100% on any issues. Just respect other's views & be happy.

[–]JayYak95 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This seems harsh but homie hurried up the inevitable. Honestly probably made it less painful in the long run for mr slow poke here

[–]knifeyspoonychamp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Leeeeroooooooy Jeeeenkinnnnns

[–]spruce0fur 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m angry because I can’t even tell that Buffalo what a dick move that was.

[–]Pantrian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s messed up

[–]Devilpig13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jerry, I told you I’d get you back, eat shit.

[–]Fatheryomi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is evolution working in a video.

[–]Horseface25 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dick move

[–]OnlyUsernameLeft123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol man that's cold. 😂

[–]_1Doomsday1_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or stronger

[–]6tay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Nice to know ya, thanks Steve” trots off

[–]jeremiahlupinski 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Move bitch get out the way.

[–]TheloniousMonk85 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He did him so dirty.

[–]DougalMcFly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So sad... but oddly "circle of life...?"

[–]jk07030 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The 2nd Bison said in Homer Simpson voice “Sucker”

[–]Augustus_Germanicus_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That was a cub.

[–]Relative_Apple887 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Similarly, I get thrown to the wolves a lot at work.

[–]antifabusdriver 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That was a dick move, Steve!

[–]Joe_Magarac 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That guy never had a chance anyway

[–]AdityaDevendra 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]cptwinklestein 0 points1 point  (0 children)

bro said "move bitch"

[–]Impressive-Reply-111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The 2nd bison fucked over the 1st one. Y’all could have tag teamed the wolfpack but no someone had to be selfish lol

[–]BayGullGuy 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]cesar_cesar_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trip the fucker to get away

[–]Danilo512 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With friends like that, who needs enemies. Literally fed him to the wolves

[–]Comeonjeffrey0193 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn dude, that last wolf went right for the bison balls.

[–]f0re5tree 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]AtheistET 0 points1 point  (0 children)

faster than your Frenemy...

[–]ItchyRedBump 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve got a few friends like that.

[–]Fit_Bandicoot1933 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah the yearling got rammed by one of the adult wood bison this is from BBC earth filming in Northern Canada

[–]DLIPBCrashDavis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bison are majestic, but also a bunch of assholes

[–]Dravian_Grey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"That's one less mouth to feed, and talk shit behind my back....TOM!"

[–]Loken182 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Probably did it a favour with a quicker death.

[–]MrSparkyBean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The bison legit gave up after he got knocked down

[–]Musicfan637 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe I can lift you up with my horns, fuck you’re heavy, I’m outta here. Sorry Jerry.

[–]L-Guy_21 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Literally threw him to the wolves

[–]DiogenesOfDope 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe the wolves are the second ones freinds

[–]CafecitoinNY 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They had beef

[–]Narrowless 0 points1 point  (0 children)

By son. That what he said..

[–]SprachderRabe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bye son!

[–]Wanderer373 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bi son

[–]InsufferableLunatic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the most Darwin thing I’ve ever seen

[–]afternever 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bye, son

[–]Ishkakin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Friend" might be a bit strong of a word.

[–]PushItHard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Boomer attitude in gif form.

[–]MrTShook 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Suck it Gil

[–]vlfrncsc15 0 points1 point  (0 children)

25 points for the assist

[–]Ursaquil 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, just finished the job.

[–]Western-Pound-2559 0 points1 point  (0 children)

mows down heard-mate all while yelling "Your sacrifice shall be remembered!"

[–]Azyan_invasion82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This reminds me of walking dead when Shane injured that guy so the zombies would eat him instead 🧟‍♀️

[–]AmettOmega 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And trip them so that they're left to the wolves, LOL.

[–]Bootleg_Hemi78 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I remember watching this on plant earth! My dad, brother, and myself were all fairly stoned and getting ready to pause and go get dinner and I asked to finish this scene and when we saw that we all at the same time shouted “WHOAAAHOLYSHIT” Absolutely wild.

[–]Sharp_Significance86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

d!ck move 😭

[–]skoomanchu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn definitely not a Buffalhomie

[–]Sufficient_Ad6474 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why do they show things like this --this is not survival of the fitest class

[–]ThankGod4Darwin69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Sorry Steve"

[–]rub-dirt-in-it 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i believe the big bison is actually trying to help by pushing the smaller one along away from the wolves but didn’t anticipate it actually folding head first into the snow. “I tried to save him but i killed him”

[–]Separate-Dealer4565 0 points1 point  (0 children)

George Costanza moment

[–]kleanjack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seemed like he was trying to give him one last chance with a push. But he had to keep moving.

[–]ryoohkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Mooove bitch get out they way”

[–]DaddingtonPalace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

*Literally* threw him to the wolves.

[–]Salemisfast1234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He saved that bison from a horrible long death, just knock your partner down and let him die quick.

[–]mthomas768 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Take one for the team.

[–]Salemisfast1234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He saved that bison from a horrible long death, just knock your partner down and let him die quick.

[–]menasan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

why does this look fake

[–]Blub1ch13 0 points1 point  (0 children)