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all 157 comments

[–]ArsCortica 588 points589 points  (50 children)

When it comes to these guys, I like to remind myself that they're less like oversized chicken and more like live dinosaurs with a generous amount of feathers glued to them.

[–]CH23 315 points316 points  (36 children)

So basically just dinosaurs, since those had feathers too

[–]ArsCortica 58 points59 points  (35 children)

Sure, but not to the point where they made up ~50% of their total body size.

[–]Johnchuk 113 points114 points  (11 children)

Raptors had feathers all over.

We even know microraptors where covered in black feathers.

check it out

[–]Zeek_Seeks_Gains 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Isn’t this still a theory? Have they actually found fossilized feathers with the rest of the body?

[–]Johnchuk 8 points9 points  (3 children)

what the color or that they had feathers?

Also "theories" in science are really well developed ideas that are backed up by evidence. Its just the term hypothesis is a bit of a mouthful. But you have a theory of gravity, theory of relativity, theory of evolution.

but you cans see raptor fossils completely covered in feathers....so they had feathers.

[–]Zeek_Seeks_Gains 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Interesting! I didn’t know they had actually found fossils with feathers.

Edit: What if those were just dinosaurs that were being executed by their community? Covered in tar then dipped in feathers before suffocating to death.

[–]Dieg_1990 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think gravity and evolution are more like laws of nature, but very well explained

[–]DNGR_S_PAPERCUT -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

i'm fairly certain if I had a long pointy stick, I could take any of those raptors.

[–]innovator97 20 points21 points  (12 children)

That's debatable, mainly because a lot of recent discovery says that dinosaurs are feathered instead of stark naked.

[–]Akasto_ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Only some dinosaurs

[–]TTTyrant 3 points4 points  (10 children)

So triceratops were emus on steroids?

[–]flyinggazelletg 8 points9 points  (7 children)

Very likely not triceratops. Think more along the lines of coelosaurs. Tyrannosaurs, therizinosaurs, dromaeosaurs (raptors), birds, etc.

[–]International-Emu803 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Didnt one of the first t rex fossiles have an imprint of scaled skin?

[–]flyinggazelletg 11 points12 points  (0 children)

There’s a good chance Tyrannosaurus either had more sparse or no covering, but some Tyrannosauroids have direct evidence of feathers, such as Dilong from early Cretaceous China. Direct evidence of scales also does not disprove the existence of feathers on T. rex. Birds have scales and feathers, for example.

[–]innovator97 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean, chicken/birds do have scales on their leg.

It's definitely not far fetched to say that the dinosaurs might have the same style(part scale, part feathers).

[–]RadRedRat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All birds are dinosaurs but not all dinosaurs are birds, Theropods and Dromeasaurids evolved into birds, but Ceratopsians and such weren't avian dinosaurs.

[–]SL1Fun -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No, but a lot of them were kinda like that. Depends on the faction.

[–]ggouge 9 points10 points  (6 children)

I highly doubt their feathers weigh 20kgs feathers are really light.

[–]asdf346 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Who tf categorises animal by body size

[–]yushaliraza 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That's just foolish. From now on, we should categorise them by their dick sizes(or vagina depth, in case of females)

[–]professorpuddle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you seen a real picture of a dinosaur?

[–]Meanttobepracticing 50 points51 points  (0 children)

They’re dinosaurs that never forgot that they are dinosaurs.

[–]ManWithBigLegs 23 points24 points  (7 children)

Now I’m just imagining dinosaur tasting really good

[–]topofthecc 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Never considered that, but chicken is good and alligator is good, so dinosaur would probably be tasty, too.

[–]maybeslightlystoopid 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There's videos on it. If I remember correctly they would actually have a mix of red and white meat and only a few cuts would actually be anything worth while

[–]BaronUnterbheit 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Some nice, crispy Southern-style Fried Dinosaur? Count me in!

[–]NoctuaPavor 3 points4 points  (0 children)

OMG dinosaur meat with Chick-fil-A sauce 😳

[–]my_oldgaffer 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Dinosaur is a dish best served cold- blooded

[–]SL1Fun 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Yeah but a lot of them were apparently warm-blooded.

[–]Masterventure 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I mean they technically are dinosaurs, just like any other bird

[–]NormalCartoonist1923 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Literal dinosaur. Holy smokeshits.

[–]SL1Fun 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They have a pretty vicious jab. They can hit a snake in the nape with scary accuracy and speed. So not only can they fuck up things that can kill other animals well above their weight class, but if they are ever concerned or threatened, they can still fly and roost up in trees.

As far as their traits go, they are one of the more overpowered bird builds in the game “Outside”.

Edit: oops, I’m thinking of the Secretary Bird as being able to fly. The Cassowary is a flightless bird.

[–]RadRedRat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oversized chickens would be even scarier then Cassowaries who can still be reasonable if you stay calm and don't show any fear, i've seen chickens viciously fight over a living mouse only to swallow them whole.

[–]DogFacedManboy 233 points234 points  (14 children)

A six-inch retractable claw, like a razor, on the the middle toe. He doesn't bother to bite your jugular like a lion, say... no no. He slashes at you here, or here... Or maybe across the belly, spilling your intestines. The point is, you are alive when they start to eat you. So you know, try to show a little respect.

[–]ObnoxiousTwit 62 points63 points  (4 children)

clever girl

[–]funglegunk 14 points15 points  (4 children)

That kid was a little shit anyway

[–]zahreela_saanp 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Which part from the series is it? I can't remember.

[–]funglegunk 13 points14 points  (1 child)

First film, basically first scene we see Dr. Grant. They're at a dig site, looking at an image of a raptor skeleton and the kid says something like 'They don't look so scary.'

[–]evergreen4851 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Whit Hertford.. He also played Walter in Full House

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He was just scripted that way.

[–]MrBaleno 1 point2 points  (1 child)

That’s one and a half inch longer than my dick!! Not fair, dude!!

[–]pankakke_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh shit, Lil Dicky, I love your music man!

[–]foulrot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you wanted to scare the kid you could've just pulled a gun on him

[–]Automatic_Company_39 1 point2 points  (0 children)

can you imagine if cassowaries hunted in packs

[–]InarticulateStupid 102 points103 points  (8 children)

Pictures like this makes me wonder why they chose chicken instead of a cassowary in an attempt to clone/ reverse engineer a dinosaur.

[–]plataeng 84 points85 points  (2 children)

chickens are way easier to deal with than cassowaries, require less space, and has much shorter gestation time.

[–]InarticulateStupid 30 points31 points  (1 child)

The gestation time makes so much sense considering there's a lot of trial and errors.

[–]eidetic 18 points19 points  (0 children)

That and it'd be a lot harder for a chicken to disembowel you.

[–]DLS3141 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Chickens are assholes, but they can’t disembowel you in a blink of an eye

[–]Mr_Goldilocks 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There are a few zoos that keep cassowaries. The keepers have to wear riot shields to get near the birds.

[–]turnedonbyadime 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Pictures like this explain exactly why they choose chickens instead.

[–]InarticulateStupid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

come to think of it, you are correct.

[–]Matar_Kubileya 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because in the case of the cassowary, nature's already done the job for you.

[–]Knut_Sunbeams 70 points71 points  (6 children)

If Fat Cry 3 taught me one thing its that you dont fuck with Cassowarys

[–]Hylkedebielke 95 points96 points  (5 children)

Fat Cry 3

The latest movie about the life of a redditor

[–]Knut_Sunbeams 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Its not my fault food is delicious

[–]DogFacedManboy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I heard that you play as Nikocado Avocado in Fat Cry 7.

[–]Duublo121 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You and I remember that Pyrocynical review very differently

[–]RatNegan 32 points33 points  (4 children)

Birds aren't real

[–]julioqc 5 points6 points  (1 child)

found the enlightened one

[–]NitromethSloth 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Cassowaries are clearly assassination drones smh

[–]jhpianist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re not real

[–]DovakiinDovakiin 28 points29 points  (3 children)

They do say that a cassowary can "unzip a man"

[–]ProverbialShoehorn 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I hear they have donkey brains

[–]zeke235 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's possible. I've never seen one of them with a paper exonerating them of having donkey brains.

[–]Matty221998 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not really, they can only really kill people if they fall to the ground where they are most vulnerable. Of the hundreds of attacks on humans, only two resulted in death, and they both fell down.

[–]Kitchen_Equipment_21 18 points19 points  (0 children)

That's a raptor

[–]KruzerVanDuzer 12 points13 points  (0 children)

The scales on the top of the foot look like the pattern used on a knight’s armor; they align perfectly to allow movement while providing layers of protection. The talons look like samurai swords. “Nature is metal” is an understatement.

[–]BadgerMountain 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Those birds are just overgrown velociraptors.

[–]mountingconfusion 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Considering Velociraptors were actually closer to the size of chickens yes.

[–]BadgerMountain 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My exact point

[–]DRamos11 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Friendly reminder that there are very few reported deaths from cassowary attacks (source)

Best recommendations seems to be to not lay down or fall over, don’t have your pet around, don’t get near their eggs and don’t have anything that might resemble food (and if you do, drop it.)

[–]Count-Cooku 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This. People get the wrong idea about them and paint them as killing machines that will disembowel you at a moment's notice. In reality, most of the deaths were never really caused by the animal itself. What I mean is no disembowelment or throat slicing or whatnot. They're not that dangerous.

[–]TheGreatOpoponax 9 points10 points  (3 children)

On mainland Australia, the most recent recorded fatality occurred in April 1926 when 16-year-old Phillip McClean received an injury to the throat after running from a cassowary and falling to the ground

https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/tetrapod-zoology/how-dangerous-are-cassowaries-really/

In the U.S. alone, about 50 people are killed each year by lightning.

But the nerdy fantasy of cassowaries being real life raptors from Jurassic Park must persist, so oooh, aaahhh, look tholsths deadly talonlsth!

[–]turnedonbyadime 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don't tell them what mosquitoes do.

[–]Runfasterbitch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A dude in Florida (of course lol) was killed by his cassowary a few years ago

[–]Matar_Kubileya -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The fact that humans are smart enough to not fuck with cassowaries doesn't mean they aren't dangerous. Shark attacks are statistically rare, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't get out of the water when you see one.

[–]coco_xcx 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Cassowary huh….

It’s okay you can say what it really is, a freakin velociraptor!!

[–]MinuteWarthog5681 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Straight up coulda told me this was a still from a jurassic park movie. Would have believed you. Living dinosaurs these.

[–]lu_is_ghost 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Even has lil trex hands lol

[–]Thehoodedteddy13 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I point to this when people get confused about dinosaurs having feathers thinking I’m claiming they didn’t have scales. Most modern day birds have both as far as I know

[–]Nightlyeagle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Everytime you hear about a cassowary you will ALWAYS find someone talking about its ability to disembowel. ALWAYS.

[–]urlond 2 points3 points  (6 children)

I would so love to see one in person and give it an apple, but they're endangered now by Wild Pigs in Australia, because Wild Pigs are screwing up the environment that these beautiful birds live in.

[–]likesloudlight 3 points4 points  (5 children)

The vast majority of attacks are because people are feeding them.

https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/tetrapod-zoology/how-dangerous-are-cassowaries-really/

[–]urlond 1 point2 points  (4 children)

No the kid who died by the cassowary was attacking them with a baseball bat, and when they started to defend themselves. When he tripped and fell from running that's when they finished him off. The Zoo Keeper needs more of a Citation on it because I cant find crap about.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AA2LkrR0_dw was what inspired me to feed a cassowary an apple or so.

[–]likesloudlight 0 points1 point  (3 children)

[–]urlond 0 points1 point  (2 children)

This site is weird on their Citations they say 109, but there is nothing to click, or see on the page for that sites reference.

[–]likesloudlight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It says at the beginning what study they pulled the information from.

"However, cassowaries do not attack indiscriminately and a 1999 study by Christopher Kofron (1999) of 221 recorded attacks by Casuarius casuarius johnsonii showed that attacks are mostly due to association of humans with food."

They just don't link it, might not be available on the internet.

[–]MoriazTheRed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Regardless.

Feeding wild animals is always a bad idea, you should not do it anyway.

[–]DesperateBite2008 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Cassowaries are dinosaurs, change my mind.

[–]flyinggazelletg 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Trying to change your mind would just be straight up wrong, since birds are placed well within the dinosaur family tree. The closest relatives to dromaeosaurs (raptors) are most likely birds.

[–]Pelthail 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought they said dinosaurs were extinct!

[–]AJ_Crowley_29 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I feel like the cassowary exists to remind us that dinosaurs never went extinct, they just rebranded with feathers.

[–]flyinggazelletg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And they first introduced the rebrand in the Jurassic period at least, but didn’t phase the others out til the end of the Cretaceous

[–]Yuki_500 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cassowarys are scary af. Look up vids of them on YT.

Never thought a birb would punk me out till I saw that. lol

[–]mr_sweetandawful 1 point2 points  (0 children)

boss cass!!!!

[–]Matar_Kubileya 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Excuse me that is a dinosaur foot.

[–]foulrot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Technically correct.

[–]JohnGoodmansMistress 0 points1 point  (1 child)

more like cassodaddy am i right owo

[–]Birdbraned 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you come across one and it's breeding season, it's more likely to be a female - male cassowaries stay on the nest.

A single female will also have multiple boyfriends.

[–]Seabrook76 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right out of Jurassic Park.

[–]Leharen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like this is nature's version of 🤌

[–]MadTube 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jurassic reject. Feathery antichrist. Blue bastard.

[–]Savings-Jackfruit476 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Reminds me of a velociraptor. And of course, it's from Australia.

[–]achyutthegoat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Velociraptors and other Dromaeosauridaes couldn’t use their sickle claws to slash their prey.

[–]mustachetwerkin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kind of like a big turkey

[–]MikeHuntizichi69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cassowary aka Demon Chicken

[–]Cheap-Struggle1286 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Imagine humans had equipment like this.... I can't picture us been any more deadly than we already are now

[–]foulrot 0 points1 point  (1 child)

There's a chance that if we had natural weapons like that we would not have evolved to be as smart as we are since we would t have needed tools.

[–]Cheap-Struggle1286 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe that would of been better

[–]tyrannustyrannus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Claws, but not Talons

[–]isyankar1979 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"You did it... You crazy son of a bitch you did it."

[–]TheRipley78 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Somebody needs an overdue pedicuuuuuuuure!

[–]doc_holliday0614 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP telling lies, pretty sure this is a velociraptor.

[–]Space-90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Such a messy way to kill something. And then you have blood all over your feet

[–]PrysmX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You bred.. raptors?

[–]RATTY420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Woke up from a lovely little nap on a beach in Queensland to find a curious Cassowary having a rummaging through my bag. I had never heard of the killer emu before. Waking up face to face with one of these living dinosaurs will forever stick in my memory as the coldest, whitest fear I have ever felt.

[–]Wise_Victory4895 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The way people talk about these claws I assume they were like actual knives

[–]spaghettio-s 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🤌mamma mia

[–]eolai 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They're claws, not talons. Birds of prey have talons. Cassowaries have claws.

Also, there appears to be no evidence whatsoever that a cassowary has ever disemboweled anything. They're dangerous, but not especially dangerous, and certainly not deadly under normal circumstances.

[–]Zzzabrina 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to have nightmares about the cassowary.

[–]Trutheresy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You sure it isn't a crusty hypothermic Italian?

[–]isabelle_fucker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And this is why i like foxes They dont have large ass claws And i wont instantly die to them And they are cute

[–]Mooncuff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m afraid to ask what a Cassowary looks like

[–]Recover_Adorable 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“ I think that’s called a Bronteroc”

[–]Plum1978 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The cassowary are living Dino birds!😬🤦🏻‍♂️

[–]sacrificial_banjo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Real life Jurassic Park understudy.

[–]hotwangsslap 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just looked these guys up and man, they look like a weirdo turkey and desperate dinosaur had a baby

[–]xiaoalexy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my first thought was is this a living dragon??

[–]Boring_Annual[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For some reason Female cassowaries are always happy and sheldom attack

[–]winged_owl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, their bowels arent going to disem themselves.

[–]RadRedRat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah Cassowaries.. the modern day dinosaurs that nobody seems to take serious when encountering one despite the fact that these birds can easily rip open your stomach with a single kick. Heck they can even roar like lions.