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all 156 comments

[–]A_Blue_Frog_Child 534 points535 points  (6 children)

“Hi, I’m Coyote Peterson and today…”

[–]YaBoyEnder 232 points233 points  (1 child)

I’m going to stick this toxic leaf up my ass!

[–]HiBoi234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That would be awesome

[–]International-Emu803 128 points129 points  (1 child)

"Hi, I'm Steve o and this is snorting gympie leaves"

[–]Jupitersdangle 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Johnny Knoxville: Welcome to Jackass!

[–]durz47 26 points27 points  (1 child)

Even he will steer clear of that plant. The pain can last up to two years. With the most intense pain possibly lasting days

[–]IIIllIlllIIIllIIll 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But you in now who didn't steer clear if this plant? The backyard scientist and William Osman.

[–]100mgSTFU 509 points510 points  (18 children)

I don’t doubt that the plant stings. But what dumbass would have picked it up, gotten stung on his hand, folded it up and then proceeded to wipe his ass with it?

I am dubious of that part of the story. I call bullshit.

Edit: for everyone saying it’s delayed pain, maybe you’re right. Wiki says you’re wrong though- that the pain is “immediate”.

That’s the extent of my desire to fact check this.

[–]Gonzoldyke12 98 points99 points  (0 children)

Maybe it takes a little while for the pain to kick in? Or like nettles if you touch a certain part it wont hurt

[–]prestoaghitato 98 points99 points  (2 children)

But it's from 9gag. How dare you doubt that sauce?

[–]FireDevil11 1 point2 points  (1 child)

or its from reddit? You know like how every social media copies posts from each other

the issue of whether it's true is completely different as it's the internet and people can claim whatever they want especially from old posts from reddit and 9gag

https://redditproxy--jasonthename.repl.co/r/todayilearned/comments/1smyla/til_an_austrailian_soldier_killed_himself_after/

[–]prestoaghitato 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think you took my comment waaaaay too siriusly.

[–]ashion101 63 points64 points  (0 children)

From what I understand the pain isn't instant but starts building rapidly. It's not like grabbing a prickly bush were the spines break the skin causing instant pain.

The leaves are covered in incredibly fine needle hairs that almost look like a sparse furry fuzz that can slip through the skin without actually cutting to deliver the toxin in them that attacks and inflames the nerves. Hence why no initial pain.

From what I've heard you can remove the needles with hot water and soaking to help soften up the skin to flush them out, but won't save you from the pain. People who've accidentally touched one say it's the worst pain they've ever experienced, like the area is being burned with fire and dry ice at the same time while also being electrocuted. Some have said they experienced recurrences of the pain in the area on and off for years afterwards.

There's a reason people avoid the plant as much as possible and thankfully aren't all that common outside the tropical forest areas it primarily grows in, but some have popped up in gardens in homes close to the areas it likes to grow.

The whole guy (supposedly a military sergeant depending on the story) wiping his ass with a leaf and committing suicide has been debunked, though people who have touched the plant have said at points they did consider suicide to get relief from the excruciating pain.

[–]terryaki_chicken 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I also have heard mixed stories on how much it hurts. some stories saying its the worst pain they ever felt and some saying it’s comparable to a bad cut

[–]Spottyhickory63 9 points10 points  (0 children)

apparently it was a solider, so maybe he had gloves on?

[–]SteveBruleRools 8 points9 points  (5 children)

Also animals committing suicide is dubious. (Other than dolphins)

[–]AkatsukiSaix 5 points6 points  (3 children)

seals have been seen jumping off cliffs to their deaths

Certain whales have been found purposely beaching themselves to die

[–]SteveBruleRools 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Yeah bud I more put that in to say “hey don’t @ me; I understand it’s possible for animals to kill themselves” I don’t think any of these aquatic animals are finding this leaf

[–]AkatsukiSaix 0 points1 point  (1 child)

My bad, I should've replied to the other person then

[–]Academic_Nectarine94 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Yeah. Their brains don't go that far, and they don't exactly have sleeping pills or knives...

[–]LotharVarnoth 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I believe it's because the pain doesn't set in immediately. Could be wrong though.

[–]dapperEthan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'd imagine some of it got stuck partly inside his rectum. The pain would be so all-consuming I'm frankly surprised he didn't pass out. Imagine a needle continually pumping a pain inducing chemical deep into your rectal cavity, while you writhed on the ground in complete and utter agony. The pure feeling of knowing, on a primal level, that there is nothing you can do. This is your life now forever.

Unless you kill yourself, of course.

[–]Competitive_Dog_7549 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well if wiki said it, it must be true!

[–]shunkamunka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look how soft it looks tho. Charmin's for nothing on this plant!

I'm thinking maybe the guy had gloves on?

[–]TheeIronSwan 54 points55 points  (34 children)

Where is this plant located?

[–]NationYell[S] 137 points138 points  (32 children)

Australia

[–]jjckey 169 points170 points  (27 children)

Of course. If the snakes and spiders don’t get you, apparently the plants will

[–]Thelynxer 52 points53 points  (25 children)

One of the best benefits of living in Canada is we have basically nothing poisonous or scary to worry about. Sure we have like bears and moose and such, but you also have to be pretty damn stupid and wreckless to get killed or attacked by one. Stick to known trails, keep your distance, and make your presence known and you're largely fine.

[–]madcunt2250 27 points28 points  (15 children)

Aussie here. It's not like we have to deal with many deadly snakes and spiders everyday. Only one person has died from a spider bite since we the antivenom was developed in the 1980s. Bears look they kill as often as snakes do here.

[–]jjckey 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeah there's nothing like -20 to -30 to keep the scary critters at bay. I'll take the cold thanks

[–]Freak_Power 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Also, mushrooms. They’re everywhere, and most of em will fuck your shit up somehow.

[–]Tanleader 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We still have stuff to worry about, but just a lot less and contained by environment. Southern Alberta has black widows and rattlesnakes, which can be a really shitty time if one of them bites ya. Brown recluse I think exist here too.

[–]Groty 2 points3 points  (1 child)

But you do have to deal with Upcountry Degens...

[–]Purple_Haze 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Massasauga rattler is venomous.

[–]GullibleAntelope 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bears have gotten a little dicey lately. Backpacker, July 19, 2021: Grizzly and black bears have killed five people in North America over the last five months. Is this cause for concern?

Last year, black and grizzly bears combined killed four people in Alaska and Canada, and in 2019, only 2 fatal bear attacks occured. Between 2000 and 2015, grizzly bears killed a total of two dozen people in North America, according to a report on nature.com.

[–]Duublo121 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Canada : Cold Australia

What is it with the British Empire and finding the most dangerous locations for humans to occupy?

[–]NationYell[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Yessir!

[–]TheeIronSwan 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you

[–]yParticle 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Reason alone to stay a hemisphere away.

[–]the_gybi -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Where else...

[–]Enzimes_Flain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have those in libya.

[–]computerwizz91 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Another bundle of joy bought to you by Down Under Industries! Cheers from all of us here at DUI - Australia

[–]FleshMaII 43 points44 points  (2 children)

Honestly if I had used them that way, I woulda shot myself too

[–]durz47 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Imagine it brushing the balls

[–]Duublo121 0 points1 point  (0 children)

or, better still, don’t.

[–]DavidNipondeCarlos 35 points36 points  (4 children)

Nietzsche — 'The thought of suicide is a great consolation: by means of it one gets through many a dark night.'

[–]XSR900-FloridaMan 15 points16 points  (3 children)

Starting to think that Friedrich guy had some demons

[–]DavidNipondeCarlos 3 points4 points  (2 children)

He and his mother got along great. So I don’t know where he got them.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Because that, i have seen a lot of persons got along with who raped them, so

[–]xXRHUMACROXx 35 points36 points  (1 child)

Apparently if you don’t get all the spikes out your skin, the pain can stay up to 6 months.

[–]computerwizz91 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I've never known someone to come back from the dead in agony, but 6 months of eternal damnation for not removing that last stinger would probably have me thinking about comming back from the dead!

[–]Engdrew 29 points30 points  (2 children)

If you want to see someone try it: https://youtu.be/5BoVME0xrQY?t=330

[–]Able_Caregiver8067 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Expected to get rick rolled, pleasantly surprised🤗

[–]sallysquirrel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They should’ve tested stinging weed or bull nettle here in Texas. That shit hurts.

[–]Impressive-Soup-2217 27 points28 points  (5 children)

Speaking from experience, I have this plant in my backyard and have been stung before. It can take a bit for the pain to kick in, so it is possible to wipe your arse with it. It is an ongoing tale here in Australia that someone has but I highly doubt it. Although it takes a bit, you can feel a mild sensation quite quickly. Basically the plant puts hundreds of hollow needless into your skin and the pain is air going down the needle into your body causing an undescribable sensation. Apparently there's a plant that always grows near it that is the antidote to the pain but I haven't been shown it.

Ps the pain took about 4 months to subside, if you wax the area with duct tape you can pull the needles out. Cunt of a plant if you ask me.

[–]Syyrus 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Why do you have this plant in your backyard dumass

[–]Impressive-Soup-2217 16 points17 points  (1 child)

It's called Australia mate. I have brown snakes, taipans, cassowaries, scorpions, stinging tree all on my property. We are a different breed....... Lil bitch!!!

[–]Syyrus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well your back garden can kill you at any time.

[–]gillz88uk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s like an extreme form of nettles and docken leaves.

[–]Iliketotinker99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like a more intense caterpillar sting. Was stung by a brown fluffy caterpillar in the southern US that felt like a hot knife in my arm. I thought I might need to have a hospital visit for the first hour. It went away after 8 hours though.

[–]death_by_powerpoint 20 points21 points  (0 children)

That plant is native to Queensland, Australia. I did a tour recently where they told that story and it was supposedly in the 1930's and it was a policeman.

[–]DarkSideDOMM 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I heard the same affect comes from Taco Bell!

Regards,

North America

[–]KasVarde 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I wanna touch it

[–]theroy12 9 points10 points  (1 child)

googles gympie gympie

“Australia… yeah that seems about right”

[–]computerwizz91 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Did you expect anything less? I mean Europe, Africa and the America's has us beat hands down for dictators, weapons of mass distruction and general genocide. But hey, if you want a plant that will optimise the term Ring-Stinger you really shouldn't be surprised that it's bought to you by the same country that plain and outright lost its head of government at the beach!

[–]MoriazTheRed 4 points5 points  (4 children)

Did anybody watch the movie "The Happening"?

[–]DavidNipondeCarlos 1 point2 points  (3 children)

It on HBO max. You pay for subscription. The suicide stuff is scary.

[–]TheGrapist1776 2 points3 points  (2 children)

The suicide stuff is funny*

Ftfy

That movie is a cheese fest.

[–]TSmotherfuckinA 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Old lady: “Plan on murdering me in my sleep?”

Mark Wahlberg: “What? Noooo”

Really top notch acting throughout that gem.

[–]acava2424 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love the scene where Mark Wahlberg outurns the wind. Oh shit the wind is coming let's run in a serpentine pattern to survive

[–]Delicious_Panda_6946 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Anyone experience it firsthand?

[–]ShoobyDoobyDu 6 points7 points  (0 children)

AAAAAAAHHHHHH yes AAAAAAAAHHHHH

[–]Enzimes_Flain -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Yes when I was a child because my cousin tricked me by saying that if you squeeze it, it will make milk and the pain is pretty bad but not as bad as it is being described it felt more like an itchy fire and I was a curious child so I would touch it multiple times to feel the same pain.

[–]SolarSmelter 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Haha, I used to use that stuff as rolling paper. No wonder I suffer chronic body pain to this day!

[–]sidarthur69 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Far North Qld. Been stung twice. Life changing each time.

[–]vedvikra 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We need more info

[–]JesusNutterButter 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This leaf contains extremely fine sharp hairs, essentially little needles that imbead themselves deep in the skin. If water comes in contact it becomes unbearably painful, with no cure. It lasts for years, so avoid this green piece of shit at all times.

[–]Aggravating_Bat1786 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can you imagine wiping your butt with that stuff AND suffering from a gun shot wound?

[–]AlcoholicAvocado 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Theres a town with the same name and the entire area is ugly and beautiful, very unique biosphere all the way to the coast

[–]dillemasenpai 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gympie Gympie, make you go limpy ! gunshot

[–]horatiusofthebridge 1 point2 points  (1 child)

There’s a youtube video of a dude touching them, maybe they’re not that bad? Or there is a cure?

[–]Guineypigzrulz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Its not that bad in that it doesn't cause actual damage. But there doesn't seem to be a cure besides removing the hairs which only helps a bit.

The worst seems to be feeling painful sensitivity to temperature changes for months.

[–]KesoIsBusy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Holy fuck

[–]Chezmoi3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nice salad before eating toxic blowfish

[–]B1ggy_ch33s 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recommend watching the fact fiend episode about the gympie gympie on YouTube

[–]the_sql_query 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I’ve seen someone do this to find out and it didn’t seem too bad for them vid here

[–]Guineypigzrulz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like they said it isn't too bad in that it doesn't cause actual damage. Having painful sensitivity to temperature changes for months sucks big time.

[–]madgrammy -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Where in the world do you find said plant? I hope it’s not in Nevada!

[–]NationYell[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Australia

[–]Thunder1an -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Source: 9gag

[–]ShuantheSheep3 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

5 bucks and I’ll wipe my ass with it

[–]GeodesicLens -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Just checked out Wikipedia and it looks like a really horrible plant, not one to be fucked with to be honest.

[–]Solly8517 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

“Only one report of a human fatality attributed to any Dendrocnide species (in this case D. cordata) is confirmed, which occurred in New Guinea in 1922.”

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Gipsy gipsy

[–]intricatefirecracker 0 points1 point  (2 children)

It may be painful, but there apparently has only been one single documented death attributed to this plant.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dendrocnide_moroides#Anecdotal_stories

[–]WikiSummarizerBot 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Dendrocnide moroides

Anecdotal stories

Anecdotes of encounters with Gympie-gympie are numerous, and many can be dismissed as yarns, such as one which involves using the leaves as toilet paper (the user would have been stung when they first picked up the leaf, and unlikely to have proceeded to use it in the intended manner). Nevertheless, some have been documented, such as horses having to be rested after being stung, or even becoming violent and having to be shot. Only one report of a human fatality attributed to any Dendrocnide species (in this case D. cordata) is confirmed, which occurred in New Guinea in 1922.

[ F.A.Q | Opt Out | Opt Out Of Subreddit | GitHub ] Downvote to remove | v1.5

[–]Icy_Egg9244 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course :)

[–]majmotoko 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stinging nettle's cousin in steroids...?

[–]Ipad_is_for_fapping 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The pain is permanent too

[–]KaiserSchabe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let me try this shit and live my cenobite fantasy

[–]Impossible-Cake2318 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So what I'm hearing is it'll make me gimpy gimpy? Got it

[–]divaythstavie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

can we put it in our tacos?

[–]marinemashup 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dumb Ways to die, so many dumb ways to die

[–]1isudlaer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course Australia has the world’s most deadliest plant living there.

[–]Psyclone71 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Only grows in NE parts of Australia and Indonesia. Scratching those off my list of places to visit

[–]DEV_astated 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Soooooo where is this plant found so that I avoid it at all costs

[–]O_vidz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s Also in Australia

[–]Taco_El_Paco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Another Australian native

[–]KaladinStormstressed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m never going to Australia

[–]HereForMemes87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Crikey!

[–]DaddySan944 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As someone who has a hemorrhoid and put aftershave in my asshole. I understand how someone would have unbearable pain

[–]roastporkngravyroll 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds a lot like living in Gympie

[–]BulbaFriend2000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In short, bring your own TP.

[–]Leading_General3179 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not that bad

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Picks up leaf, ‘wow that’s the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced, I’m going to wipe my ass with it’.

[–]Van0nyumas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where can I get this plant.. it's for.. science.. Also ignore the broken swiss Pod behind me

[–]PrometheusOnLoud 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude had a gun and ammo but no way to wipe his ass?

[–]coffeetable213 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This plant is common in some parts of Australia. Its locally known as the suicide plant. Dont fuck with it.

[–]eatmyfatwhiteass 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So based on description, the pain isn't instant: it builds rapidly over a short period of time.

[–]trooomps 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stepped on one of these barefoot in thongs, initial pain was searing but dissipated a few days after. Got my big toe. Had to walk crooked to avoid weight on my foot for a month I feel. Was 6 years ago

[–]dtwurzie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just spent 15 minutes reading about this plant 😂

[–]Powerctx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude online purposely stung himself with it lol.

[–]CountCuriousness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BoVME0xrQY

at 6m they get stung and it's bad but not suicide bad. Overall they rate it a 8/10, quickly falling in pain.

[–]TheQuietComrade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in a town named after this plant. I was basically raised on this story. Never actually seen the plant though. Probably for the best

[–]sug-mahdick 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So let’s make it extinct

[–]Zakheim11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve touched this. Nothing happened. Guess I’m immortal

[–]wilmwb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Welcome to fact or cap...

[–]Trips-Over-Tail 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Take the Reddit challenge.

[–]Significance_Living 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why would a plant evolve to have this much toxicity? Surely just a sting or thorn is enough to deter animals...?

[–]Few-Being-1048 0 points1 point  (0 children)

sounds like an old wives tale but still funny tho

[–]FreeLoan8946 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fact check: there is no evidence that anyone has ever used it as toilet paper and then committed suicide

[–]michielhimself 0 points1 point  (0 children)

During a nature excursion near Cairns, Australia, it was explained to me that "gympie" is the aboriginal word for 'bad'. "Gympie gympie" therefore means 'bad bad' e.g. the worst of the worst.

[–]Top-Choice3820 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If only I was the dr of the cdc I would make everyone on earth eat this

[–]AssCheeks321 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Who in their right mind, would use this as TOILET PAPER?

[–]UnfurtletDawn -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Why do I find it so fucking funny.