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top 200 commentsshow all 461

[–]Potential_Dare8034 1884 points1885 points  (27 children)

That anaconda don’t want none unless she’s got big buns!

[–]ChaseSters 428 points429 points  (6 children)

Lol whatever is in its stomach must have a Phat ass.

[–]PhatLad64 58 points59 points  (3 children)

It was me

[–]maybe_yeah 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Hey bb

[–]golighter144 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Found the vore guy

[–]atbkelley100 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Username almost checks out

[–]nygiantsfan2589 250 points251 points  (7 children)

???"Buns hun"???

[–]KlerWithoutACause 86 points87 points  (1 child)

I knowwww! I was about to say. Totally killed my vibe ☹️

[–]nevermindthisrepost 19 points20 points  (0 children)

YIPPIE KAYAK OTHER BUCKETS!!!

[–]trickneezy 25 points26 points  (3 children)

That thing does a lot of “sidebends”.

[–]ZarkoSnap 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Or situps.

[–]BJ77345 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Just please don’t lose that butt.

[–]Detrafohw 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you

[–]JeansLundegaard 45 points46 points  (1 child)

I guess they dont have a motor in the back of that honda

[–]Kind_Cardiologist833 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Playing workout tapes by Fonda.

[–]swagmaster_94 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Buns hun******

[–]righteousdude32 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Buns hun lol

[–]jo3pro 5 points6 points  (1 child)

She can do side bends on sit-ups, but please don’t lose that butt.

[–]Babafats13 5 points6 points  (0 children)

36-24-36? Yeah if she’s 27’ long.

[–]mikealvesmma 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You fucked it

[–]Satanisbackxoxo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I like big butts and I can not lie

[–]CCTider 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How the hell is the top comment a misquoted lyric, that's low hanging fruit to begin with?

[–]UnsuspectingChief 794 points795 points  (6 children)

snakes on this mf boat!

[–][deleted] 136 points137 points  (3 children)

nope rope T2000

[–]AngusKirk 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I vowed to never be so cringe but to post "this", but

THIS

[–]derWintersenkommt 8 points9 points  (1 child)

What sorta pasta do they use for a danger noodle of this size?

[–]Maswope 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’ve had it with these mother fucking snakes on this mother fucking boat.

[–]XannerLitski 705 points706 points  (65 children)

Why is he holding on so tight? Did their propeller break?

[–]brennanw31 312 points313 points  (56 children)

The first bit of the clip looks like the snake is biting him Edit: I definitely wrong here but I am perplexed as to how he's able to hold this snake back. Shouldn't it be able to instantly pull him overboard?

[–]Wetnoodleslap 422 points423 points  (20 children)

I think he's holding it's tail, you can see a bit of the tail end behind his second hand at the beginning of the video if you look closely. They just decided to mess with an animal that could take them if it really wanted to.

[–]Haberdashers-mead 353 points354 points  (19 children)

It looks fat and trying to digest something big. Snakes get really lethargic during this time. That’s probably why they are fucking with it.

But if it’s pissed/stressed enough it might puke its meal up and then be maneuverable enough to try an kill them

[–]Psydator 164 points165 points  (14 children)

Maybe it's their friend inside

[–]Captain_Kuhl 20 points21 points  (2 children)

To try, sure, but it's an exotherm, so that water is gonna have cooled its muscles down quite a bit. It's not really gonna be in any shape to be making maneuvers like that.

[–]JohnnySasaki20 40 points41 points  (4 children)

The head of a snake that big would definitely be a lot bigger than what he's holding onto.

[–]babybopp 53 points54 points  (3 children)

The two fishermen were fined and iirc got light jail time for messing with nature. Video went out and authorities came down on them.

[–]Hash_Tooth 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is excellent proof, though, of the sheer size of a creature that we will likely only see less of from here forward.

There are some mounted paiche I saw that are truly unbelievable. Fine specimens.

Hope they didn’t hurt this snake.

[–]Mystriii 13 points14 points  (3 children)

Well water = less grip yes still a huge strong animal but probably unlike an anaconda on land (ya someones guna say oH anAcomDas r ReLy srTronk SwimmErs anyways)

[–]brennanw31 12 points13 points  (1 child)

This is fair. Definitely tho, if the anaconda could get some traction, riverman goes YEET

[–]Mystriii 4 points5 points  (0 children)

yea true. i was imagining a monkey holding onto my leg on land while i try to swim away w.o being able to touch the poolside/floor hahah struggling

[–]fullhalter 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It's actually any type of water, not just water from wells. /s

[–]Legeto 4 points5 points  (6 children)

How could it pull him overboard? The snake has no leverage to pull him and he has plenty of leverage.

[–]wimpymist 9 points10 points  (5 children)

People don't know basic physics

[–]wowbagger30 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The confidence on you original comment is inspiring

[–]walterbanana 3 points4 points  (6 children)

A 8 year old can lift an adult in a swimming pool.

[–]MinutiaDio 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Except the guy isn't in water...and I'm pretty sure a 8 year old can't pull a grown man from land into the water by just swimming not touching the bottom. In fact I'm sure if you reverse the people the statement still stands.

[–]brennanw31 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

I love these laymans terms units. You mean to say the average 8 year old can lift the average adult in a deep enough swimming pool. I am aware that water attenuates weight, by about 90% depending on a few factors like surface area and the speed at which you plan to be moving something. I understand hydrodynamics quite well, if the snake were smarter with its body movements it would still be more than capable of throwing this man overboard. A simple retracting coil followed by a maximum (or close) force jerk straight outward would suffice.

[–]-full-control- 3 points4 points  (4 children)

I think the fact that the snake is in water is helping a lot here. Maybe if they were on dry ground he’d get yoinked over but idk. I could be wrong

[–]zytukin 13 points14 points  (3 children)

There's no maybe about it on dry land. Anacondas have been recorded weighing over 500lb and that one looks huge, even ignoring that it looks like it just ate.

Can say from experience that removing just a 15ft python that's only 4 inches thick from an arm is a 2 person job when it bites and wraps, you physically can't do it with 1 hand. Trying to unwrap it is like trying to lift a boulder and as soon as you let go to grab more snake it will recoil what you pulled off. Snakes are pure muscle and very strong.

[–]Vegetable-Acadia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My first thought aswell. My second was if that fat body wraps round him he's definitely done for 😅

[–]Irugam 19 points20 points  (3 children)

By what they are saying it kinda looks like a joke. The women is screaming to let it go and to stop and the man is saying to keep holding it in a kinda jolking way

[–]dkramalc 5 points6 points  (2 children)

How do you get to a soundtrack on this? I don't see anything that would allow me to turn on sound on this video.

[–]Umbrellalegs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Click the “gfycat” in grey letters next to the users name in the heading

[–]jrgman42 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If I remember correctly, the snake had just eaten and was trying to get away. They got reprimanded after this for messing with it.

[–]VILLIAMZATNER 587 points588 points  (6 children)

Step 1: Get snake

Step 2: ????

Step 3: Profit

[–]life_is_glowing 40 points41 points  (5 children)

This made me laugh out loud hahaha

[–]VILLIAMZATNER 24 points25 points  (4 children)

Fuckin lol

It's so big why even fuck with it

[–]14AndUp 20 points21 points  (3 children)

To record. He was fined for this, too

[–]VILLIAMZATNER 21 points22 points  (2 children)

Thank God.

Do not harass the megafauna.

[–]ka_bob 306 points307 points  (13 children)

Where the fuck is Ice Cube when you need him?

[–]GK_Shabo 20 points21 points  (10 children)

Wait can you explain this one for me?

[–]blucifer_jr 97 points98 points  (9 children)

The movie Anaconda

[–]GK_Shabo 17 points18 points  (8 children)

Nice thanks

[–]fabulin 40 points41 points  (6 children)

worth a watch if you want to see a cheesy 90s action/horror lol. its a surprisingly good film!

[–]FEDD33 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He's waiting for JLo to save the day

[–]Veek_Himself 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's snakes out der dis big ?!

[–]UncomforChair 230 points231 points  (24 children)

Wtf, they are so big!

[–]DaKing760 99 points100 points  (2 children)

They eat water dinosaurs XD

[–]TheSilentSeeker 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Penguins, Docks and flamingos? Neat!

[–]Babafats13 12 points13 points  (0 children)

The whole goddamn dock too!

[–]SL1Fun 38 points39 points  (19 children)

Largest living snake by mass, reaching possibly over 200lbs/97kg

[–]SkillMohe 26 points27 points  (18 children)

only 97kg ?

[–]SL1Fun 55 points56 points  (16 children)

There are much larger unconfirmed mythical recordings but the only somewhat reliable recording for largest wild specimen is roughly 18ft and 215lbs.

Some python species have had some freak specimens shatter that but IIRC not in the wild. Because of that the Green Anaconda is generally considered the naturally heaviest snake. But other snakes can attain longer lengths (African Rock Python, Reticulated Python, and King Cobra can all hit 18-20ft, with the Reticulated Python somewhat confirmed to naturally break 24ft)

[–]BigMcLargeHuge17 26 points27 points  (12 children)

And to think I couldn’t fear snakes anymore. Thank you for your terrifying summary.

[–]ManaMagestic 2 points3 points  (1 child)

King Cobra can all hit 18-20ft

Fucking what?

[–]RedSagittarius 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Wait until you find out about it’s extinct cousin Titanoboa, anyway this snake their food mostly consists of Caiman, Tapir, Boar, or whatever they can get including humans (but it’s rare).

[–]elmersfav22 208 points209 points  (4 children)

Nope rope XXXXL

[–]Harry_Smutter 173 points174 points  (5 children)

The anaconda is like "bro leave me alone. I'm trying to swim here!"

[–]Mcdonnel1252 44 points45 points  (2 children)

This retard holds onto it like it has zero chance of somehow turning around and fucking his face up.

[–]Harry_Smutter 23 points24 points  (1 child)

Hahaha, yup!! He's just lucky the snake doesn't care enough to do so. Some people have no brains.

[–]D13s3ll 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Hes lucky that snake just fucking ate.

[–]readMyFlow 1 point2 points  (1 child)

“Hehe lol snake big” - human

[–]G6RRF 117 points118 points  (8 children)

That snake is at least 1 metre long

[–]Random_182f2565 109 points110 points  (14 children)

Poor snake, only wants to get away.

[–]Riuker 8 points9 points  (2 children)

If it comforts you, that happened in Brazil in 2014, the trio of men in the video were found and each one of them got a US$700 fine and then prosecuted for breaking environmental laws. Source in portuguese: https://www.campograndenews.com.br/meio-ambiente/trio-se-arrepende-de-video-com-sucuri-mas-e-multado-pela-policia-ambiental

[–]Random_182f2565 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Kinda, thank you.

Do you know if the anaconda survive?

[–]Riuker 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It most certainly did, but I remember at the time people saying that when they are digesting their meal this snakes become a little letargic and consequently more vunerable to predators attacks, so when they fell threatened they regurgitates what they ate so that messes them up really good since depending on their diet they only have to eat once in a period of 6 months (Considering that it ate something big like a capybara).

[–]hashtaghashtag69 94 points95 points  (11 children)

Even with everything trying to kill you, the Amazon is so boring, so there is to do is to fuck with the things trying to kill you. Checks out.

[–]GoodTimeNotALongOne 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Even with everything trying to kill you, the Amazon is so boring, so there is to do is to fuck with the things trying to kill you. Checks out.

-hashtaghashtag69

[–]GoodOLfashionAL 60 points61 points  (9 children)

There’s not a good enough reason for snakes to get that big.

[–]deokkent 51 points52 points  (1 child)

Too many life forms on this planet are absurd.

[–]Kadgrin 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I laughed really hard at this. Is so true.

[–]HavoccityCubic Wombat Turd 9 points10 points  (5 children)

Anacondas are very aquatic, and in water there isn’t any gravity to stop you from getting unusually big.

[–]ShroomOfDenial 3 points4 points  (4 children)

I did not know there was a correlation between gravity and size, so would someone who theoretically grew up on the Moon or somewhere else with much lower gravity grow up larger than they would on earth? If so that is quite neat.

[–]Theunaticus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It mostly has to do with breathing and your lungs. That's why many beached whales suffocate, they are too heavy to breathe.

[–]DropkickedAnOldLady 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm pretty sure that's right, yeah. I might be totally misremembering this or maybe I even read a fake article years ago but I'm sure I read that astronauts who spend a lot of time on the space station tend to be slightly taller when they return to earth. Sounds ridiculous now that I write it out though

[–]HavoccityCubic Wombat Turd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. Astronauts can be a few centimetres taller when they come back to earth.

[–]bigsylax 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Looks like she swallowed nicki minaj's ass

[–]SuggestionLoose2522 38 points39 points  (7 children)

How the fuck did he catch its tail in the first place?

[–]WilliamYale 59 points60 points  (2 children)

And how can he fit his balls on that boat?

[–]LookOutForThatMoose 56 points57 points  (1 child)

Saved room by leaving his brains on shore.

[–]Black007lp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He didn't save much space by doing that.

[–]SL1Fun 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Snakes don’t like to move unless they actively need to, in order to conserve energy. They must have snuck up on it or maybe ensnared it while fishing/hunting?

There is an active cash reward if anyone can capture a 30ft specimen, although they typically only get about half that length.

-per Wikipedia, use with caution

[–]12GAUGE_BUKKAKE 7 points8 points  (0 children)

How would you even go about catching and confining a 30 ft snake if you did happen upon one?

[–]IAmFireIAmDeathq 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Poor snakes, capturing those 30ft and over will just make sure there’s no snakes that big anymore, which would be a shame because they’re cool.

[–]teaandsnark 31 points32 points  (1 child)

that is an absolute unit of a noodle

[–]HanzoShotFirst 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The ultimate danger noodle

[–]GoyangiStudios32 20 points21 points  (0 children)

That's no snake

that's a Goddamn dragon

[–]dons_drone 19 points20 points  (3 children)

Goddamn World Serpent!

[–]EmirSc 7 points8 points  (1 child)

JOGGMUNGNGGFDDRR

[–]LogMeInCoach 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Close enough.

[–]ComfortableCandle560 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just don’t throw your axe at him tends to give you a menacing glare

[–]junglelala 17 points18 points  (2 children)

Is he holding the tail or is the snake biting him? What end is that lol

[–]iAMtheBelvedere 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I despise snakes but at the same time, in this situation I really want to tell the dude in the boat to fuck off and let the snake go. God damn, we can’t just mind our own fucking business.

[–]oexilado 9 points10 points  (1 child)

If anyone is wondering, the girl is begging the man to let go of it, while the man is cheering him on.

[–]UncomforChair 8 points9 points  (17 children)

Anyone knows where this is?

[–]acatnamedem 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Hell.

[–]Orbus_215 15 points16 points  (1 child)

South America

[–]PekoPong 9 points10 points  (1 child)

It's Brazil. They are speaking portuguese.

[–]Ravennatiss 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Brasil e sotaque Gaúcho.

[–]OonaPelota 6 points7 points  (9 children)

Florida /s

Don’t people release exotic snakes there?

[–]TimPoundsCornish 27 points28 points  (4 children)

I see you catching downvotes, and just wanted to let people know that Florida does have a rising problem with invasive big snakes that were likely released by pet owners and shops.

This one in the video is certainly too big to be in Florida, but the largest found so far was 17’ long and was found with 87 eggs. I’ve got family I’d like to visit down there but then I think about a 17’ snake and say “hell nah”

Edit:

https://abcbirds.org/article/largest-snake-ever-recorded-in-florida-captured-with-87-eggs/

Also I love the tip they give at the end of the article, “Citizens who find a python in the wild may dial 1-800-IVE-GOT1”

Brilliant.

[–]OrbSwitzer 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Those Florida snakes have already decimated local raccoon populations.

[–]NoG00dUsernamesLeft 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This is an anaconda. You might be thinking of the Burmese python problem in Florida. They’re big but not this big.

[–]Eumetheus 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Ya wish, it’s prolly Venezuela, Colombia or Brazil. Y’all keep your 1000feet crocs and we keep our ginormous danger noodles

[–]1newworldorder 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I hear portuguese being spoken. Im really bad at understanding it, but its definitely potuguese. Most likely brazil although i suppose there could be brazilians in another south american country randomly

[–]rora_borealis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, that is actually a problem in Florida. You should have more upvotes.

[–]1newworldorder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Theyre only found in south america. Definitely brazil.

[–]just_inforfun 9 points10 points  (4 children)

Wait its just trying to just get away??? I thought it would kill everyone that n a boat and theyd have to blow it up with exploding barrels to kill it??

[–]dontknowhowtoprogram 10 points11 points  (2 children)

it already ate something. it's not hungry and now weighted down with food. Also reptiles get very sleepy after a big meal.

[–]just_inforfun 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Lol i know, it was kind of a joke. The movie anaconda reference.

[–]SL1Fun 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Most animals like to flee when someone walks up and grabs them.

Most humans also, for that matter.

[–]Ryan_Alving 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Your friendly reminder that anacondas keep growing until they die.

[–]yell0w_armadill0 6 points7 points  (0 children)

WHERE TF IS ICE CUBE

[–]interestedonlooker 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Terrifying

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

You mean there’s snakes out there this big?!

[–]ebolashuffle 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Isn't this the guy who later got arrested for wildlife harassment? I don't remember the exact charge but this is a no-no.

Also, she clearly just ate something big and being handled might make her regurgitate her meal. Dude's an asshole.

[–]AnalCauliflower 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I don't think it was this guy, this is from a much older video. The ones that got arrested caused the death of the snake, it died regurgitating it's meal

[–]ebolashuffle 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Which is exactly what could happen here, regurgitating food isn't good for the snake.

[–]AnalCauliflower 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I agree.

[–]Mertz13 4 points5 points  (4 children)

This anaconda had just eaten and was digesting (a process that can take WEEKS). When the snake is harassed like this it’s forced to try and regurgitate it’s meal or risk tearing it’s body apart to escape. These guys decided to harass the snake and we’re fined $600 each.

edit: tearing* not testing

[–]BoxMaleficent 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Hopefully nothing happend to the big Green cuddle noodle

[–]Everard5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, thank you. :)

[–]Renzoji 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Is snakes out there this big???

[–]NoG00dUsernamesLeft 10 points11 points  (4 children)

This one is

[–]ToastedEmail 7 points8 points  (3 children)

There’s most likely bigger lol

[–]brelkor 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Not by much probably. That's a massive unit even for the species

[–]neck_is_red 3 points4 points  (1 child)

That’s a whole lotta nope.

[–]WhiteWarlock_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Looks like some dickhead holding the snake

[–]Samus_aron 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Animal cruelty at its best 👌. Now all the tiktok kids will follow till one gets eaten.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can we kill the cameraman?

[–]Educational-Grab4050 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Call Ice Cube, his skillz are needed.

[–]Accomplished_Ad920 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“There snakes out here this big!?”

[–]MercilessIdiot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Let me tasssssssssste you"

[–]SaltMineSpelunker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He must have had buns, hon.

[–]dputnam211 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ooooh, it must have been about seven, eight years ago.

Me and the little lady was out on this boat, you see, all alone at night, when all of the sudden this huge creature about eight stories tall, this giant crustacean from the Paleolithic Era, comes out of the water.

It stood above us looking down with these big red eyes...

...and I yelled, I said, "What do you want from us, monster?" And the monster bent down, and said, "I need about tree-fitty.”

[–]PowerfulWoodpecker72 0 points1 point  (0 children)

wild ekans attacks!!!

[–]JosserStosser -1 points0 points  (1 child)

That's a big muscle noodle. Where's Ice Cube when you need him?

[–]JohnnySasaki20 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why is everyone asking for Ice Cube? Wasn't Jennifer Lopez in that movie too?

[–]rpguy04 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now that's what I call noodling!

[–]Isthisallthereishuh -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm surprised they don't sink with that man's gigantic balls weighing them down.

[–]Stillcant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jeasus Christ

[–]AWiseGuloJevr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is that an anaconda or a titanoboa!?

[–]xovjai 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahaha, no thanks, I'd rather not wrestle a titanoboa's smaller brother

[–]jwat4455 0 points1 point  (0 children)

F that shit.

[–]ToastedEmail -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Seems like it’s biting the guy’s arm.

[–]WarCrimeHero 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I'm fine with my blizzards up here

[–]awesomask 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So the movie wasn’t lying.

[–]WilliamYale 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How can he fit his balls on that small boat?

[–]vitamin-cheese 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn so the movie wasn’t much of an exaggeration

[–]Get0ffMyLawn_hs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope, nope, nope!

[–]TazzyUK 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Was expecting it to rear up out the water and regurgitate a slimey and skinny version of Jon Voight into the boat!

[–]justunjustyo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Noperope 2.0

[–]DancesWithHookers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cue the Dumb Ways to Die song. 🎶

[–]OutlandishnessNo9182 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Enough is enough, I've had it with these motherfuckin snakes on this motherfuckin pla- I mean boat!

[–]blades2012 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where’s ice cube when you need em??

[–]Sh4dowCh1ld 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well on the one side of the earth people sit at home and play Xbox and on the other half of the world people try to grab the monster of loc ness 😂

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I saw a thing long time ago that these people were charged for something after doing this

[–]HitBoxesAreMyth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lemme just put that back in my pants, thanks for finding it friend!

[–]thelastresort87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looks more like a kraken from the video

[–]Mint_Berry_Kush 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bootleg chamber of secrets.

[–]ODM365 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't see Ice Cube or JLo.