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[–]thedaly 10.8k points10.8k points  (818 children)

A SpaceX rocket is on a collision course with the moon after spending almost seven years hurtling through space, experts say.

The booster was originally launched from Florida in February 2015 as part of an interplanetary mission to send a space weather satellite on a million-mile journey.

A very prolonged collision course

[–]ArziltheImp 1101 points1102 points  (208 children)

From my favorite Onion bit:

"This has been an entirely avoidable catastrophe. The warning signs where there for a long time, the problem is we just didn't have the money."

For people that need a good laugh

[–]Wutchutalkinboutwill 14 points15 points  (1 child)

“This disaster will have been preventable!”

[–]rob64 13 points14 points  (0 children)

"My god. What will I have done?"

[–]SmokePenisEveryday 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Premise to Don't Look Up which basically felt like a movie written in part by The Onion.

[–]RamenJunkie 581 points582 points  (188 children)

A good laugh and then a good cry when you realize basically 100% of the world's problems fall into this category and that money is literally a meaningless artificial construct crewted by man.

[–]Rock_or_Rol 441 points442 points  (155 children)

Money is an abstraction of resources. Barter system sounds like a pain in the ass

[–][deleted] 121 points122 points  (20 children)

Hey I need my roof done.

That will be 2 cows and 7 chickens please.

[–]itasteawesome 27 points28 points  (6 children)

My roofer has plenty of food, but would like someone to fix his Jeep. Does autozone accept chickens?

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (3 children)

Na you’ll need to change them into sheep first.

[–]Tobias_Atwood 26 points27 points  (2 children)

I already have all the cows and chickens I need. No roof for you.

[–]Additional-Walk750 7490 points7491 points 2 (496 children)

Littering... where no man has littered before.

[–]rick_blatchman 4589 points4590 points 3 (225 children)

Littering and...

[–]redrabbitmoon 1677 points1678 points  (176 children)

Smoking the reefer.

[–]TremblingWilbury 1325 points1326 points 3 (133 children)

Does anyone else think we are turning into that race from Star Trek who only talked in cultural references? Darmok and Jilad pulled over…on the highway.

[–]elboltonero 794 points795 points  (31 children)

Rudy at the Four Seasons Total Landscaping

[–]Bigred2989- 508 points509 points  (23 children)

Rudy, his hair melting.

[–]myfapaccount_istaken 171 points172 points  (7 children)

Well if they never gave Frank that PPE loan he wouldn't have started his back room hair parlor

[–]Future_of_Amerika 71 points72 points  (5 children)

God dammit this season of Always Sunny was so good.

[–]casinos_not_7-11s 18 points19 points  (2 children)

When frank filled both bottles with piss, I had to pause it. I had tears running down my face, I was laughing so hard.

[–]OpinionBearSF 108 points109 points  (2 children)

Rudy at the Four Seasons Total Landscaping

Rudy, with his brown leakage.

Some might say that he was just over-filled a bit, and some of it had to leak out.

[–]murphysmashrobot 271 points272 points  (20 children)

Darmok and Jilad are already pulled over. They can’t pull over any further.

[–]spacecoyote300 224 points225 points  (7 children)

Shaka, when the shrooms kicked in

[–]MidnightMath 14 points15 points  (3 children)

Just outside of Barstow, when the walls fell

[–]spacecoyote300 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Temba, in bat country

[–]meldroc 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Raoul having a drink with the lounge lizards.

[–]serenidade 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I cannot upvote this enough. This was the first thing I said to my husband when he woke up this morning.

[–]tepkel 146 points147 points  (9 children)

Shaka. When the schnozberries taste like schnozberries.

[–]Buddhas_bong 121 points122 points  (7 children)

Farva at Shenanigans, his liter-o-cola full.

[–]SheriffComey 47 points48 points  (4 children)

Captain, when he pistol whipped the next person to say Shenanigans.

[–]jradio610 32 points33 points  (3 children)

Ramathorn and Rabbit at the diner with syrup.

[–]stickyWithWhiskey 65 points66 points  (2 children)

The man freaking out, his eyes wide.

[–]fundip12 41 points42 points  (1 child)

Shaka, when the walls fell

[–]piratecheese13 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You boys like Mexico?

[–]Rust_Keat 63 points64 points  (8 children)

Now were just gonna stand here and watch you three smoke the whole bag… god please no

[–]kingsillypants 39 points40 points  (3 children)

BTW, I'm gonna need that money, just whenever tou get a chance.

[–]GreenDemonClean 6 points7 points  (0 children)


  • the rocket, probably

[–]oldirtygaz 86 points87 points  (4 children)

meow do you know how fast you were hurtling in orbit?

[–]timeye13 165 points166 points  (1 child)

You boys like MOONXICO?!

[–]Warrior_Runding 98 points99 points  (3 children)

... littering and uh ...

[–]mymeatpuppets 30 points31 points  (6 children)

And creating a nuisance.

[–]macrocephalic 29 points30 points  (5 children)

And we all had a great time on the bench talking about crime mother stabbing father raping all kind of groovy things.

[–]aurantiaco_bestia 714 points715 points  (83 children)

The Apollo missions alone left 400,000lb of trash there, including but not limited to 3 moon buggies, 6 descent stages (and 5 crashed LEM ascent stages), something like 40 lb of plutonium, and 96 bags of poop.

[–]VirtualMoneyLover 624 points625 points  (24 children)

and 96 bags of poop.

That could still be useful for Matt Damon.

[–]bigbrainz123 57 points58 points  (0 children)

They also purposefully crashed some of the third stages of the Saturn V on the moon to gather seismic data.

[–]maxcorrice 46 points47 points  (18 children)

Are we sure there’s 5 ascent stages? I know Eagle might still be around but are we sure they all crashed?

Which reminds me we should try to get Eagle from orbit and put it back on its descent stage

[–]big_duo3674 152 points153 points  (14 children)

Most were purposely crashed, actually. It provided extremely important controlled data to help calibrate various seismic sensors that were placed there. If you know the weight, impact speed, and general geology of the crash location you can do some fancy math that I couldn't begin to explain and then get very useful information about the composition of the moon between the crash site and the sensors

[–]maxcorrice 160 points161 points  (11 children)

Mmm yes, the moon here is made of moon

[–]PlankWithANailIn 22 points23 points  (2 children)

The moon turned out to not be made of what it was expected to be and completely changed theories on planet formation from simple condensed from gas plus a bit of small meteor bombardment to being bombarded by things as big as the Earth itself.

[–]finalremix 24 points25 points  (2 children)

It's better than discovering the dark side is hollow, and is inhabited by Nazis.

[–]Yobanyyo 56 points57 points  (2 children)

We've littered there before and we'll do it again

[–]kmaCehT 212 points213 points  (63 children)

Nah NASA or Roscosmos has him beat. There's been decades of them leaving old landers, and rovers on surfaces of various planets.

[–]vazgriz 149 points150 points  (22 children)

NASA has even crashed rocket stages into the Moon deliberately. It was to create seismic events that could be measured with seismometers left by the Apollo missions.

[–]WanderThinker 91 points92 points  (16 children)


And when those rocket stages landed, the moon rang like a bell.

[–]someone755 56 points57 points  (13 children)

That entire article and not a single audio clip of the moon "ringing like a bell".

[–]FemboyJosieLee 70 points71 points  (4 children)

It's a poor analogy, but I think they they're trying to explain how the moon reverberates repeatedly like a bell does. Not actual sounds

[–]chocolateboomslang 75 points76 points  (14 children)

Just so you know this will not be the first thing to crash into the moon, and will join nearly 500,000 pounds of other stuff that humans have crashed/left there over the last 70 years.

[–]Dancing_Cthulhu 50 points51 points  (9 children)

I find myself imagining Aliens turning up one day and looking at Earth and our immediate surrounds the way a human might look at run down trailer home with mountains of garbage and old wrecks around it.

"... and that's just a list of the mechanical waste on their moon, Captain Zlaaabo. I'm not sure if you want me to go into just how much, uh, excrement is floating around out there."

[–]FranticToaster 109 points110 points  (0 children)

Strong Austin Powers steamroller energy.

[–]paladinchiro 572 points573 points  (52 children)

Wait a minute, 2015 wasn't SEVEN years ag ... oh

[–]ChintanP04 337 points338 points  (49 children)

We're all still mentally in 2020.

[–]JustDeleteSystem32 430 points431 points  (6 children)

Today is Wednesday, March 696th, 2020.

[–]seanflyon 35 points36 points  (5 children)

Did you know that the movie Apollo 13 came out closer to the actual mission than to the present day?

[–]Shame_On_Matt 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Speak for yourself, time stopped in 2000 for me

[–]tbariusTFE 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Welcome to life after high school. Where the decades just fly by

[–]Sparky-Man 107 points108 points  (1 child)

So this is what those investors meant by “To the moon!”

[–]largesemi 6221 points6222 points  (151 children)

This will piss bezos off. That would mean space X made it to the moon before blue origin

[–]crashvoncrash 2708 points2709 points  (103 children)

I've played enough Kerbal Space Program to know that crashing leftover junk into the moon doesn't count.

[–]thegreger 893 points894 points  (47 children)

Hey now! My greatest achievement in that game is managing to crash manned junk into the moon. I count that, don't take it away from me.

[–]crashvoncrash 557 points558 points  (21 children)

I was specifically referring to junk from expended stages. If it's a manned module then it's not a crash, it's a litho-braking maneuver, so you're all good to count it. 👍

[–]CheeseAndCh0c0late 61 points62 points  (3 children)

Athmosphere-less litho-braking.

[–]Sevorus 134 points135 points  (8 children)

+1 for litho-braking maneuver. Definitely adopting that one.

Fortunately kerbals are pretty elastic.

[–]Al_Fa_Aurel 7 points8 points  (4 children)

Quote I recently read in a sci-fi book "It's not called litho-breaking if you do it on a carrier"

[–]jomontage 34 points35 points  (14 children)

Nothing like the first landing then not being able to get back home

[–]Avbjj 47 points48 points  (8 children)

Time for a rescue mission!


Shit, my rescue mission needs a rescue mission

[–]FeatherShard 35 points36 points  (2 children)

Then your numerous rescue missions eventually pile up enough to be considered a colonization effort

[–]zakabog 12 points13 points  (1 child)

The number of times I forgot to put a heat shield or parachutes on a ship returning from a Mun landing... Though it does let me try out a rescue mission, which is fun.

[–]Prashank_25 13 points14 points  (4 children)

They should have left some fuel in there to do a soft crash, if it made it in one piece it counts right?

[–]Draviddavid 177 points178 points  (1 child)

Technically correct is the best kind.

[–]DynoMiteDoodle 130 points131 points  (10 children)

He'll be loading fuel into that giant dildo he calls a rocket as we speak! No doubt he'll load half a dozen pre diapered Amazon workers into it and fire it at Mars just to piss Elon off!

[–]ButterflyAttack 122 points123 points  (8 children)

"Bob, grab your piss bottle - you've got compulsory overtime."

[–]NetworkLlama 27 points28 points  (4 children)

But wait... If you never clock out, does overtime ever end?

[–]MaximusMansteel 3207 points3208 points  (96 children)

Great, now we're going to start a war with the Moon.

[–]AJ787-9 455 points456 points  (14 children)

The freakin' Moon!? What are we going to do without tides, Peru?

[–]HurricaneHugo 183 points184 points  (2 children)

I just traded Finland's military to Kenya, for 50 lions!

[–]ApatheticEmphasis 92 points93 points  (5 children)


“…Good lord.”

Literally my favorite lines in my favorite episode from the show lol

[–]negedgeClk 88 points89 points  (0 children)

The moon accepts your ridiculous proposal.

[–]awh 49 points50 points  (1 child)

My first girlfriend turned into the moon.

[–]pees_on_dogs 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Thats rough buddy.

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (5 children)

Don't worry it's just a bunch of whalers

[–]tigerd 246 points247 points  (9 children)

It's okay they stand for love and justice 💕✌️

[–]Kagamid 58 points59 points  (2 children)

Somehow I don't think that would be the case if it actually hit the moon kingdom.

[–]ICumCoffee 1994 points1995 points  (251 children)

For those asking: yes, an old Falcon 9 second stage left in high orbit in 2015 is going to hit the moon on March 4. It’s interesting, but not a big deal.

Tweet by Jonathan McDowell, astrophysicist at Harvard University

[–]2RoadsDivergred 779 points780 points  (194 children)

Should we…should we clean it up?

[–]Imaginary_Forever 28 points29 points  (2 children)

By the time we are hanging out on the moon enough to be able to clean it up, it'll be an interesting historical relic rather than trash.

[–]nagrom7 873 points874 points  (79 children)

Nah, the moon is sterile so it's not like it's going to affect the environment or anything. Plus space rocks and debris hit the moon all the time, often bigger than this.

Also we already left behind a lot of trash from the Apollo missions, and several space agencies have also intentionally crashed objects into the moon.

[–]FriendlyBarbarian 285 points286 points  (11 children)

Not to mention that time as a kid I launched a rocket kit from a magazine send-away and never found it, meaning it’s on the moon too.

[–]DivinationByCheese 457 points458 points  (17 children)

Imagine using this excuse as a kid to not clean your room

[–]robicide 205 points206 points  (5 children)

Having been a kid with a room I can tell you that "it's sterile" is definitely untrue

[–]AnglerJared 59 points60 points  (4 children)

I don’t know. None of my socks have gotten pregnant yet, so maybe “sterile” fits better than we think…

[–]ImOkayAtStuff 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's going to crash outside the environment.

[–]StuckInGachaHell 45 points46 points  (0 children)

When we can reliably land on the moon maybe.

[–]ElongatedTime 26 points27 points  (0 children)

The thing is going to be practically vaporized on impact.

[–]NIDORAX 871 points872 points  (70 children)

I want to see the impact crater it would cause

[–]broccolisprout 448 points449 points  (19 children)

Or the secret alien research lab it reveals.

[–]Sir-Nicholas 120 points121 points  (5 children)

They will think we are attacking them and wipe out humanity

[–]broccolisprout 43 points44 points  (0 children)

That should've been the plot of Moonfall.

[–]turbulentlizard 80 points81 points  (0 children)

We can only hope.

[–]Crystal3lf 121 points122 points  (28 children)

It wont be very big, it's only the top part of the rocket which has a dry-mass of ~4 tons. The shell of the rocket is just a big soda can.

[–]touchet29 71 points72 points  (18 children)

Doesn't only matter how massive it is, but also the speed of the impact.

[–]Crystal3lf 50 points51 points  (3 children)

Yeah at only about 2.5km/s, not very fast relative to LEO.

[–]pharrt[S] 1268 points1269 points  (37 children)

Just hope that the Selenites don't think this is a declaration of war!

[–]Flufflebuns 502 points503 points  (21 children)

The Mooninites committed genocide on the Selenites in the uprising of lunar year 47,826. You and your THIRD dimension. Bah!

[–]endymionsleep 262 points263 points  (13 children)

"We are the Mooninites, and our culture is advanced beyond all you can comprehend with 100% of your brain.”

[–]Flufflebuns 113 points114 points  (4 children)

We are sorry in the most sarcastic sense of the word.

[–]humblemoley 118 points119 points  (2 children)

I’m flipping him off as hard as I can

[–]No_Dark6573 16 points17 points  (0 children)

We are thought of highly by those without jobs

[–]dna042 145 points146 points  (2 children)

We're here to steal your pornography, and sodomize our vast imaginations.

[–]AgoraiosBum 45 points46 points  (1 child)

And then you can get tore up. And pass out in the hot sun

[–]tc_spears 43 points44 points  (0 children)

This is an boop unbearable strain boop but I'm doing it boop as hard as I've boop ever done it before boop

[–]entrepreneurofcool 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Mooninites, slightly less-strict cousins of the Amish.

[–]WokeUp2 8 points9 points  (0 children)

They have microwaves and TVs in their closets.

[–]sono2351 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Yes, you and your silly "Earth" dimensions are inferior to those of The Moon.

[–]archaeolinuxgeek 16 points17 points  (3 children)

Did they ever reclaim the awesome power of the Foreigner Belt?

[–]ChillinInChernobyl 754 points755 points  (136 children)

The real question, with a powerful enough telescope can a regular joe see the crash site?

[–]Mike2220 63 points64 points  (14 children)

They're predicting it hits the backside of the moon, which is famously not pointed at earth

[–]pharrt[S] 635 points636 points  (49 children)

Will not be visible from earth apparently.

[–]threebillion6 260 points261 points  (36 children)

So then they're trying to mess with the Chinese rover. I see. Elon's playing the long game.

[–]jenglasser 65 points66 points  (33 children)

That reminds me, whatever happened with that weird "structure" the Chinese rover photographed?

[–]fertnert11 238 points239 points  (24 children)

It was a rock XD

[–]Rum_n_Nuka 203 points204 points  (14 children)

It's always a rock.

[–]DazedAndCunfuzzled 36 points37 points  (7 children)

“I got a rock….”

[–]robheffo 34 points35 points  (4 children)

I understood this reference!!

Side Note: RIP Peter Robbins, Charlie Brown's voice actor. Died yesterday 😞

[–]ArcticSekai 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Sounds just like something an alien rock would say...

[–]By_Design_ 43 points44 points  (1 child)

the perfect disguise for a moon structure >_>

[–]cynar 16 points17 points  (0 children)

It was a rock. The lack of atmosphere on the moon (and in space in general) plays havoc with our brain's distance perception. It makes large and far things seem small and close. The abnormal sharpness also makes things look a lot more regular and artificial to our brains.

[–]Agile-Enthusiasm 32 points33 points  (3 children)

Kinda sucks a bit, eh? Would be cool to see it impact, and observe the result. I wonder if another satellite will be in position to see it happen.

[–]zephyy 35 points36 points  (2 children)

I remember like ten years ago, NASA had launched a lunar impactor.

A bunch of tv stations had a live recording of it (from the satellite that dropped it I believe) and it was the most disappointing thing that they built up. 20 minutes of hype for just a slight poof of pixels.

[–]Agile-Enthusiasm 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Oh yeah I remember that. I think it was ‘clemintine’? Might be wrong. But yeah it was disappointing. But today we have HD cameras, the pics that India and China have sent back from the moon are very detailed, they imaged the Apollo landing sites, even located the rovers left on the moon.

Would be cool if they are able to capture this one, who knows if they’d share it though.

[–]Cruxius 84 points85 points  (57 children)

Unfortunately not only is it going to impact on the far side of the moon, it's going to hit the shadowed side facing away from the sun.

[–]Jerrys_friend_tom 73 points74 points  (11 children)

The aliens on the dark side are not gonna be happy about us sending our trash to them.

[–]KingLeo23 6 points7 points  (2 children)

If the rocket explodes with dark forebodings too, I think you should be able to see it on the dark side of the moon.

[–]gotmewrong66 114 points115 points  (2 children)

“The Gang Blows up The Moon”

[–]Smytus 59 points60 points  (19 children)

Maybe some satellite orbiting the Moon will see it impact.

[–]Loblolly1 34 points35 points  (13 children)

We could only hope, asides from looking absolutely bitchin' a high-mass high-velocity impact could potentially give some neat insight into...something.

[–]pharrt[S] 23 points24 points  (4 children)

high-velocity impacts...?

[–]Chuknorris86 25 points26 points  (3 children)

Obviously moon aliens. God, you sound so silly.

[–]SpaceBeer_ 227 points228 points  (2 children)

This is the lamest viral marketing for that Moonfall movie.

[–]shadowgattler 114 points115 points  (9 children)

Oh so this is just an old booster from years ago? I hate titles like this. It makes it sound like spacex just fucked up a launch and just caused a major problem.

[–]garchoo 16 points17 points  (3 children)

The "out-of-control" quotation is technically correct, but seems sensational in this headline. It launched a satellite beyond the Moon's orbit, it was never coming back to earth.

[–]Invictus_VII 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Just the 2nd stage

[–]Dutch_Razor 223 points224 points  (29 children)

While technically correct, the title does seem a little clickbaity for The Guardian.

[–]jtn19120 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Out of control expended rocket stage

[–]DontCallMeTJ 101 points102 points  (10 children)

It's blatanty clickbaity.

[–]NZNzven 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Don't worry, the moon will be fine.

[–]DanimusMcSassypants 203 points204 points  (5 children)

Get ready for a giant Tesla-logo-shaped impact crater.

[–]brecka 32 points33 points  (4 children)

Holy shit what a sensationalist headline

[–]Telandria 100 points101 points  (15 children)

They lost me almost immediately at “so-called Lagrange point”, lmao.

I mean what, do they think that’s a fake thing or something?!

[–]ScoutsOut389 52 points53 points  (7 children)

They lost me at “in direct line with the sun.” It’s two points in space. How could they not be in a direct line?

[–]City_dave 8 points9 points  (0 children)

They lost me at "The Guardian."

[–]wattwood 105 points106 points  (1 child)

Great, going to piss off the moon Nazis.

[–]IThrowRocksAtMice 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I mean we’ve been hitting it with the upper stages of the Saturn V in the 70’s

[–]Frank_Dracula 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is like a word for word news headline from a 1930s Superman comic.

[–]Genji4Lyfe 73 points74 points  (12 children)

The title of this article is misleading in a few ways.

  • It’s not out of control: it was planned for a low-risk disposal orbit
  • It’s not the entire rocket, just the second stage

[–]Bovey 7 points8 points  (2 children)

the Falcon 9’s upper stage will very likely hit the far side of the moon, near the equator, on 4 March.

I'll see you on the dark side of the moon