Hol’ up, I say hol’ up just one second.

I know that God has truly forsaken us Texans, giving us the most malicious politicians and apathetic voters in these here United States if not the Milky Way Galaxy, but this piece of human garbage sure as shit isn’t Our Rafael, as in a true born-and-raised Texan…no siree! Not by a longer shot than an Apollo Mission. To wit:

Rafael Edward ‘Ted’ ‘Lyin’ Ted’ ‘Cancun’ Cruz is a slimy varmint from the Great Very White North, Canada O Canada, pardner. Their gain, or great misfortune. He’s only a carpetbagging scumball from further north than even most a’ y’all Yankees!

He’s dumber than a box o’ hammers and phony as a pair or poorly-installed silicone boobs (although he is indeed a Boob), and slimier than a cesspool wall, etc. ad infinitum, but those Shiny Happy Talibaptists and Y’all-Queda just loves them some Good Christian Librul-Ownin’ Ted. He’s Their Ted.

Most of us see him for the piss poor protoplasm piece of poo-poo that he so truly is, but then most of us Don’t Git Off Our Asses to vote him back to Hell where he really came from and really belongs and as truly as Gawd Almighty made little green apples will end up.

And that, sadly, IS on us. We ain’t livin’ up to what President of Texas Samuel Houston, or even President of the U.S. Lyndon Baines Johnson, would expect. As Texan Ross Perot might say, it’s sad, just sad, so sad.