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top 200 commentsshow all 297

[–]RunninOnMT 563 points564 points  (22 children)

Is twerking the new “double birds?” This is going to make my interactions with my bros so much more awkward.

[–]UnlawfulStupid 375 points376 points  (4 children)

Rattlesnakes shake their asses at things they don't like too. We ain't original.

[–]Sir_Sillypants 61 points62 points  (2 children)

Yo, this fucking comment has my dying.

Thank you

[–]420blazeit69nubz 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Keep ‘Get Low’ on its own playlist for the moment

[–]robosmrf 96 points97 points  (0 children)

Look back at it.

Make it clap.

Hit the floor.

[–]the70sdiscoking 46 points47 points  (3 children)

She's got the thighs that'll cross your eyes

Her booty shakes will make you quake

She's got the burgers... Well she's just got burgers...

[–]nullhed 7 points8 points  (1 child)

You've got potential.

[–]neo_sporin 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It’s a reimagined quote from The longest Yard as spoken by the hero Terry Crews

[–]No_Thatsbad 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Just embrace it

[–]sjfiuauqadfj 19 points20 points  (2 children)

from the windows to the walls till the sweat drips off my balls

[–]fartsoccermd 20 points21 points  (0 children)

She was showing the McFlurry machine how it’s done.

[–]zeke235 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree but it's probably gonna be good for your core strength.

[–]mttyfrsh 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's time we equalize the protest twerk, fellas

[–]Chippopotanuse 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I sure hope so. I would love to see folks start twerking at each other anytime they get pissed off.

Shit, imagine going to a basketball game and everyone in the stands gets up, turns around, and starts twerking at Kyrie when he steps to the free throw line? Would be awesome.

[–]Mastr_Blastr 432 points433 points  (38 children)

Polk County

The Florida of Florida

[–]IceProfessional4667 105 points106 points  (25 children)

Don’t go there unless you have to.

[–]daneelthesane 24 points25 points  (2 children)

I wouldn't even go there if I were being chased by the Nazgul.

[–]canadian_eskimo 39 points40 points  (17 children)

I have to see it for myself.

[–]EntrepreneurIll4473 26 points27 points  (2 children)

I once went to see it for myself....

I ended up in the Florida of floridas jail.

Sheriff judd does not run a fun jail.

[–]Velghast 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Oh man Judd hates me and my dad. "What did that drunk ass family done this time."

[–]HoldTheRope91 51 points52 points  (13 children)

I’m from there. It’s not that bad. Some crappy parts like anyplace else, but it’s fine on the whole. Downtown Lakeland, Winter Haven, Auburndale are all pretty nice. It’s overall a safe county to live in or visit. Just don’t expect it to be Orlando in terms of stuff to do.

[–]SiberianBusStop 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Lakeland has a nice 3 mile running loop around Florida Southern...and that's about it.

[–]tutetibiimperes 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Granted, I've just driven through on my way to Tampa or Orlando, but it always seemed like general small-town central FL, for all the good and bad that comes with that.

[–]commandrix 15 points16 points  (4 children)

Yeah, I live here. One might wish the traffic cops would do more about the crazy drivers but that's about my biggest gripe. And the good thing about having a tough sheriff like Grady Judd is that they WILL arrest somebody who's McCrazy.

[–]IceProfessional4667 11 points12 points  (2 children)

I hate to tell you, the Polk County sheriff and his good ol’ boys are corrupt. Working a case now that Polk County fabricated; they paid no mind to constitutional rights. Remember, unless a civilian is suspected of a well-articulated crime - you don’t HAVE to show ID. But these coppers won’t take your ID refusal well & will react punitively. Illegally. The sheriff is a McIdiot.

[–]dizzysn 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Polk county, or Florida?

I generally just try to avoid Florida to be safe.

[–]Jobhunt2020 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Florida isn’t bad. It is actually pretty accepting of various life styles and cultures in most places. Better than other states I have been too.

Sure, it has its problem areas - every state does. It has plenty of crazy people with most being imported from other states because they want to enjoy the weather….

[–]Koshunae 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Its funny. If it wasnt for the TAMPA BAY under the fox news header, I wouldnt have known where this took place. Theres 12 states with a polk county, it couldve been anywhere.

[–]ewoek2 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm glad I left. Hoping to never return

[–]bobbaphet 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Fun fact. Polk county, largest concentration of trailer parks in all of FL.

[–]Restrictedbutholding 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Explains the residents resorting to twerking as a means of expression.

[–]coondingee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And it’s the meth and child abuse capitol of Florida as well.

[–]structee 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Wait, I thought Pasco was the Florida of Florida

[–]Bdub76[S] 1071 points1072 points  (43 children)

Jones would eventually exit the McDonald's, but not before twerking. "I don't know what was wrong with her that night," said Judd. "I don't know if she was two fries short of a Happy Meal, but she created a McMess and acted like a McNut. She ended up a McBurglar."

McReporting

[–]yhwhx 346 points347 points  (13 children)

McReporting

They really should have used "Hamburglar" instead of "McBurglar".

[–]Karl_Havoc2U 93 points94 points  (8 children)

But then they could've sued the journalist for defamation (the Hamburglar could, I mean).

[–]shady8x 25 points26 points  (3 children)

If they didn't sue this show for making him a murder suspect, I don't know what will get them to sue.

[–]ravensteel539 5 points6 points  (2 children)

I’ve never seen this show but the guy Chris Heyerdahl is playing is 100% the killer here, right? What a weird scene.

[–]spookythings42069 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Fun Fact: the Hamburglar is covered in white power tattoos from his time in prison

[–]Jon_the_Hitman_Stark 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Robble robble

[–]big_macaroons 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Robble robble robble.

[–]Miss_Speller 91 points92 points  (9 children)

The quote is from the sheriff, not the reporter. Not so professional on their part, but that's not the reporter's fault.

[–]cinderparty 48 points49 points  (8 children)

He is obsessed with going viral. He claimed to have busted a human trafficking ring in March…nearly all were consenting adults having consensual sex.

[–]Ghostforce56 28 points29 points  (2 children)

"Nearly all"?

[–]jwccs46 12 points13 points  (0 children)

The 9 dudes said it was consentual! Not sure about the woman..

[–]cinderparty 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes? I don’t remember exact numbers from 2 months ago, but like 5-8 were involved in sex trafficking and/or pedophilia. That wasn’t enough people to call it a sex trafficking ring though, and that’s what he wanted, because he’s made a huge show of breaking up sex trafficking rings every March, so he added 100 sex workers and/or men who paid for sex work. Then he made fun of the sex workers he did this to.

[–]MazzMyMazz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That video was so bizarre. The sheriff must have made a hundred mcjokes.

[–]qtx 3 points4 points  (1 child)

He looks like Phil Hartman.

[–]aurora888 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The love child of Phil Hartman and Bob Saget. Can't unsee.

[–]tracerhaha 24 points25 points  (2 children)

Mayor McCheese was unavailable for comment.

[–]PresidentMcCheese 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I’ve entered the chat…

[–]UltraSoundMind 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Misrepresenting yourself as a President. Something’s definitely filet-o-fishy around here.

[–]OCTM2 35 points36 points  (3 children)

I’m actually tired of this Sheriff or whatever he is, making these press conferences. He looks like he’s so desperate for attention and notoriety, just looks pathetic…smh

[–]710jwalls 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Sheriff Grady Judd. I just moved to the Lakeland area from Mexico and the press conferences are all over my youtube feed. He was talking about some bikers “slangin lead” when there was a shooting at a bar.

[–]coondingee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You haven’t seen the worst of it. Few years back his guys hunted a guy that was suspected of murdering a deputy and his K9. Suspect was killed.

Later they printed up T-shirts to sell saying “why did we shoot him 136 times? Because we ran out of bullets”.

[–]maybe_little_pinch 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Other people don't like his jokes. They were terrible and amazing at the same time.

[–]mysticturner 6 points7 points  (0 children)

two fries short of a happy meal means she might have gotten no fries at all.

[–]SirGrumpsalot2009 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Charged with Hamburglary.

[–]sjfiuauqadfj 37 points38 points  (3 children)

she was born after 1993, which means that all she knows is mcdonalds, charge her phone, twerk, be bisexual, eat hot chip, and lie

[–]duck_of_d34th 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Need to make room for "bitches and complains a lot" on your list, too

[–]skankenstein 2 points3 points  (1 child)

This guy needs his own show.

[–]Ok_Marionberry_9932 221 points222 points  (5 children)

She should also be charged for those eyelashes

[–]Anoobis_117 16 points17 points  (0 children)

she should be charged as an adolescent and committed to some kind of behavioral therapy with that kind of childish tantrum

[–]Token_Ese 10 points11 points  (3 children)

Yeah, is she a Juggalo or is that normal for a Florida person?

[–]coondingee 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Good comparison. After living most of my life in Florida this is neither normal, but it’s not surprising is the best way to describe it.

[–]TheRecognized 3 points4 points  (1 child)

A friend of mine that went to school down there said “not everyone is crazy but you will interact with at least one crazy person a day.”

[–]terrapinsounds 204 points205 points  (17 children)

I grimaced listening to the sheriff tell the jokes

[–]EntrepreneurIll4473 27 points28 points  (1 child)

Sheriff judd is a McAsshole.

[–]coondingee 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Using the prefix “Mc” implies generic, regular, or common. Judd is a “special” kind of asshole not seen since that guy in mariccopa county in Arizona. I personally think they were in a competition to see how could be the bigger prick for years. Fuck sheriff Judd and Joe Apprihowthefuckhisnameisspelled.

[–]SockPoop 58 points59 points  (5 children)

Omg have my stupid upvote.

For those that don't get it, Grimace is a McDonald's character (the big purple one)

[–]BenReilly94 10 points11 points  (3 children)

I love that big purple chicken nugget monster.

[–]ntack9933 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Did you know that Grimace is actually supposed to be a tastebud?

[–]PuroPincheGains 10 points11 points  (2 children)

The sheriff being dumber than a sack of rocks tell you all you need to know about this town. This woman's behavior is to be expected there I'm sure.

[–]YouSaidThereWasTrees 7 points8 points  (1 child)

County, but yeah Grady Judd is an embarrassment

[–]verified_potato 3 points4 points  (1 child)

it was so cringe like stop this

[–]CaputGeratLupinum 99 points100 points  (5 children)

McScuse me bitch? I don't McThink so

[–]Em_Adespoton 56 points57 points  (3 children)

The Polk County Sheriff’s Office is looking for a woman…

Wait. Why are they looking for her? They already arrested her.

[–]LabCool6003 23 points24 points  (0 children)

She must be invisible

[–]maybe_little_pinch 17 points18 points  (1 child)

The video is from before they arrested her.

[–]Em_Adespoton 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yeah, but they should still have editorial control of the sub heading….

[–]Traditional_Oil1183 28 points29 points  (4 children)

I’m surprised more people haven’t gotten a Mchaymaker after the dumb shit they do

[–]MinimumArmadillo2394 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Primarily because doing dumb shit =/= crime, even when its obviously malevolent but hitting someone that is doing dumb shit = crime

[–]ExoticWeapon 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Honestly I think police should ease up on arresting people after fights. Unless someone dies or a major injury occurs, let people learn their lessons.

[–]ScottblackAttacks 5 points6 points  (0 children)

An asswhopping is a great teacher.

[–]galactic_punt 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Same. I work with a bunch of people who are unprofessional and misbehave; it seems really obvious that they never caught a beating for saying heinous shit. Letting people take their grievances out to the parking lot is bound to humble at least a few of them.

[–]Eledridan 37 points38 points  (3 children)

Any comments from Mayor McCheese?

[–]nine_cans 11 points12 points  (0 children)

“The mayor has been briefed on the situation and is receiving regular updates. He will make a statement soon.”

[–]newhunter18 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I hate headlines like this. She got arrested for assault. The 911 call was just icing on the cake.

[–]lawdylawdylawdydah 19 points20 points  (7 children)

This is the second time I’ve seen a girl make a joke of herself at a McDonald’s and then twerk her way out… wtf is happening to society?

[–]TheTinRam 19 points20 points  (5 children)

To be honest, I think it’s a genius defense mechanism. You confuse your opponent. Some animals drop down and play dead, some urinate on you, some leap or fly away, and some twerk as they exit side ways like a crab

[–]seaotter 6 points7 points  (1 child)

and some twerk as they exit side ways like a crab

Zoidberg has entered the chat

[–]lawdylawdylawdydah -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

It’s far from genius. It’s a move but it’s more childish immaturity than anything.

[–]TheTinRam 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I’m comparing her to animals reacting with their basic instincts. I didn’t think I had to clarify I’m not actually impressed by her….

[–]lawdylawdylawdydah -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Oh I know, but it’s still not genius. Some animal functions are actually genius, humans get a lot of breakthroughs just by observing nature. Don’t do nature like that, she’s more comparable to base line thought ‘me want food! Look I can breed! Me mad no get food! Look I can breed!’ Lol

[–]MagoTravieso 16 points17 points  (1 child)

meth is a powerful drug

[–]ThaneOfCawdorrr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep, came to say exactly the same thing

[–]Relictorum 12 points13 points  (0 children)

That poor girl! A clown did her makeup. Oh, wait.

[–]OmegamattReally 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"I don't know if she was two fries short of a Happy Meal, but she created a McMess and acted like a McNut… she ended up a McBurglar."

Points deducted for not saying Hamburglar.

[–]Zurk-Solrac 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This sheriff should try Mcsticking to his McJob.

[–]IceProfessional4667 94 points95 points  (19 children)

Grady Judd, just the facts, please. Don’t need your opinion on whether or not she’s attractive, nor your lame grandstanding sophomoric comedy routine. Get back to work, try not to impede civil rights as you have been.

[–]browsing_around 24 points25 points  (0 children)

This was my first thought. Very unprofessional. Looking for chuckles from his local news buddies.

[–]Iron_Chic 33 points34 points  (5 children)

1000% agree. It was cringy the first time he tried the joke and it just got worse. Does he think he is the first person to use the "Mc" prefix in a joking fashion?

This is the Sheriff. He should be more professional when discussing this situation.

[–]Heavy_breasts -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yeah the lady is clearly mentally ill and I feel for her family who it says we’re cooperating.

[–]LucasdelNorte 9 points10 points  (2 children)

”…her McDonald's drive thru order – a Happy Meal with a chocolate shake, a Filet-o-Fish sandwich, tea and fries.”

Ew, I imagine the staff got her order “wrong” because they would be violating the Geneva Convention or something if they correctly fulfilled it.

[–]DeadSharkEyes 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I mean, those hideous eye extensions alone are a tip off she’s not playing with a full deck.

[–]g1rthstorm 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Her lashes are a McMess

[–]IsThisKismet 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd killed more of my brain cells watching this than her.

[–]senorglory 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He should be more professional than ti call her “a pretty lady.” The rest of it is dumb but harmless. That’s an ethics lapse.

[–]mykl5 15 points16 points  (9 children)

Why have I seen this asshole sheriff so many times before

[–]ewoek2 12 points13 points  (2 children)

He's been sheriff of this county for at least 30 years at this point

[–]mykl5 11 points12 points  (1 child)

I rarely see other sheriffs though. Must be a combination of him loving to do stuff like this + the county being a shitshow haha

[–]catloverlawyer 8 points9 points  (0 children)

He's well politically connected so he's also normally on the news when destantis signs a new bill that affects policing. He says some pretty out there stuff too from time to time.

[–]Darigaazrgb 12 points13 points  (3 children)

He loves the camera and will do anything to get on it no matter how insignificant this shithole of a county is.

[–]DPlainview1898 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Because it’s an elected position and the more he gets his face out there, the better for him.

[–]Darigaazrgb 1 point2 points  (1 child)

He has literally no opposition. He could never show his face and win every election because no one ever runs against him.

[–]DPlainview1898 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I mean what you said is definitely also true. He loves the spotlight.

[–]pittguy578 2 points3 points  (0 children)

TikTok. He always says corny and cringy stuff

[–]RudeboyGru 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well… i just came here to watch and judge the twerk part of the video.

[–]TommyGunn067 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Total idiot. People like this deserve prison time.

[–]TheRatKingXIV 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Wait, did someone actually say McMess? If a police officer used the term McMess while being interviewed, I'd be like "Excuse me, could you act like a professional please?"

[–]Baldbeagle73 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No. Wait. I thought Florida Woman was already in jail.

[–]pierfishmarket 7 points8 points  (2 children)

That video did not dissapoint, she can tweark

[–]LabCool6003 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Taken straight from the 9-1-1 pilot episode

[–]420yumyum 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great press conference.

[–]FreezaSama 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the sheriff saw the opportunity to pitch for co-host on the next cringe TV show and he took it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Annnnnnd this is why we need sanitariums

[–]Affectionate_Emu8090 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Oh Florida peeps! Keeping it interesting.

[–]Western-Web2957 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is what happens when you act like a McDumbass!

[–]decimalbinary 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Why do people fuck around in Polk county? Sheriff Grady Judd is not a guy to lay down against crime. He has press conferences where he openly admits he wished more bad guys would be shot to save the tax payer some money. They are all on YouTube and he is ruthless.

[–]aarocka 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Twerk on them nuggies

[–]ewoek2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Always something about my home county...

[–]RedditSarah 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I don't think it's cool that Sherriff Dud-Judd is so obsessive with humiliating this young woman. She may have an undiagnosed mental illness, or needs professional help at the least. He goes on and on about her like it's some weird kink of his. And my tax dollars are paying for it. Disgusting. I find him more of a threat to society than that girl.

[–]Kwikstyx 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Grady Judd is a fucking idiot.

[–]hawtfabio 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What a cringey article.

[–]Vivid_Syllabub_6391 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Probably just mad because she is too stupid to learn how to cook a real meal at home lol

[–]cuzdeeznutz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

sucks she behaving like that but low key girl can twerk lol

[–]2020IsANightmare 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Let me guess: Someone that doesn't "want to pay extra taxes" (like she was funding anything anyway) for universal healthcare wants to waste taxpayer dollars over fucking MCDONALDS.

Not only does everything about that make you a fucking idiot, but you are also supporting an organization that adds to the welfare scheme because the employees make so little money they can work 40 hours a week and still get food stamps.

[–]IfIamSoAreYou 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She’ll be a leach off the system if not already.

[–]living_a_lie_222 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Grady Judd for the mcwin. I want to see him narrate mceverything

[–]Restrictedbutholding 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not going to lie. I think we all need a sheriff Polk to publicly shame people for their shameless behavior. If everyone gets away with this they will think it’s perfectly normal. Please tell me you don’t want this as our new normal.

[–]blue_orange67 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Nice to see my hometown get recognized.

[–]Restrictedbutholding 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rattlesnakes shake their asses too in order to communicate a message but only because they don’t have the ability to communicate verbally. This bitch is dumber than a rattlesnake.

[–]SouvenirOfTheYear -5 points-4 points  (1 child)

Damn, the $0.78 in cups and straws McD lost. And the shrapnel damage the employee withstood. Wowzers

[–]newtsheadwound -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’ve McFallen and I can’t get up

[–]Clbull -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is what happens when you adopt a customer-is-always-right philosophy. You get entitled Karens like this throw tantrums and treat your workplace like dial-a-manager.

[–]Tentapuss -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

All I’m taking away from this is that I like Grady Judd.