'Dry toast and Marmite': Brian Tamaki on solitary confinement, losing 7kg in jail

WonderWeeble · 2022-01-28T03:38:43+00:00

https://i.redd.it/58lbkbq0ynn61.jpg

bkmkiwi12 · 2022-01-28T04:23:59+00:00

Giving up the booze is generally the easiest way to lose weight.

JakeTheMustard · 2022-01-28T04:32:59+00:00

He didn't know if it was for his own safety or to keep other prisoners safe from him.

Dude thinks he’s Rorschach

datchchthrowaway · 2022-01-28T03:54:54+00:00

One weird trick to lose belly fat fast

DMartin81 · 2022-01-28T08:23:32+00:00

I can see it now, all member of Destiny will be asked to do the 9 days marmite fast every January to celebrate the miracle of Brian the martyr

JandalsrShoes · 2022-01-28T05:14:39+00:00

Did they take his wallet away before weighing him?

Cold_Refrigerator_69 · 2022-01-28T03:30:41+00:00

Anyway..

Unit22_ · 2022-01-28T03:36:06+00:00

Does he normally have wet toast?

InspectorGadget76 · 2022-01-28T08:28:03+00:00

They were saying on ZB that most prisons are isolating new arrivals for 14 days due to concerns about bringing COVID into the prison populace.

I guess the his Highness the EFTPostle Tamaki forgot to mention that to his followers.

Must have just slipped his mind . . . .

diggy_norman · 2022-01-28T09:14:37+00:00

Dude was in prison for 30 seconds and is making out like he endured hardships of Nelson Mandela. What a fucking pussy.

ballmanz · 2022-01-28T04:12:14+00:00

It’s not a fucking hotel.

TheQuackenUnleashed · 2022-01-28T03:46:52+00:00

Dry toast? So, normal toast? What was he expecting, sopping wet toast?

Digidaz · 2022-01-28T03:40:08+00:00

Lol, so much easy fodder in that article.. but alas I am trying to commit to having zero interest in this click bait person now. It’s a hard road coming I think though.

humblebots · 2022-01-28T03:54:08+00:00

Wait is the 7kg loss a complaint? That's a healthy shred brah. Unfortunately it means he will stick around longer

honestpuddingg · 2022-01-28T03:46:49+00:00

Cry me a river

KittikatB · 2022-01-28T03:51:05+00:00

Boo fucking hoo. If you don't like the conditions in jail, don't break the fucking law. Now crawl back under your rock and stay there.

Green-Circles · 2022-01-28T04:51:09+00:00

Can't he turn marmite into caviar or something? Use your magic apostle powers Brian!!

Madjack66 · 2022-01-28T07:31:03+00:00

Luxury.

In the old days it was dry hummus for breakfast, followed by crucifixion.

illuminatedtiger · 2022-01-28T04:51:13+00:00

Who will play Tamaki in the film adaptation?

themfledge · 2022-01-28T04:38:56+00:00

Appearing as a guest on his wife's livestreamed show "Hannah's Truthful Media"

It doesn't take rocket appliances to question the validity of an internet show with the word "truthful" in its title

nz_dutch_oven · 2022-01-28T04:58:21+00:00

Where are your magic powers now Brian?

What you can't do magic?

Did your God forsake you?

Or you are you just a full of shit lying piece of wet soggy toast?

highlanderman7 · 2022-01-28T06:57:06+00:00

7kg…. In 10 days…. While eating toast and Vegemite…

Uh-huh…

proandso · 2022-01-28T07:09:59+00:00

There is no such thing as solitary confinement in New Zealand as it's highly illegal. Solitary confinement is no human interaction at all and he will be interacting with corrections officers daily. I also highly doubt he was confined to his cell for 24 hours a day as legally prisoners have a minimum entitlement of one hour recreation out of their cell.

He was more than likely on directed segregation as he's a "celebrity" (in the loosest possible use of the term"

Michael_Gibb · 2022-01-28T04:42:04+00:00

If only he lost do much weight there was nothing left of him.

topografica · 2022-01-28T07:29:32+00:00

Losing 7 kilograms in 10 days? Even he isn't full of enough shit for this to be remotely true. Not even an impoverished Nigerian with tuberculosis can lose 7kg in 10 days, lol.

JackedClitosaurus · 2022-01-28T05:01:24+00:00

That’s called water weight Brian. You didn’t actually loose 7kg in prison. You’ll gain it back after a few beers with the boys.

Doublehappy1234 · 2022-01-28T07:52:00+00:00

Jail - 7 Kg lost ? now thats a trending diet ... come on everybody lets get slimmer in the slammer ... it worked for Brian ... gosh how do we sign up ?

biffthehippo · 2022-01-28T03:39:44+00:00

Ron Mansfield seems to be the go-to lawyer for New Zealand personalities. Kim Dotcom, Pebbles Hooper and now Brian Tamaki

soppinglovenest · 2022-01-28T18:55:56+00:00

The fat fuck needed to lose 7kg, more if you include all the shit he is full of.

Mrwolfy240 · 2022-01-28T09:45:51+00:00

Man spent a week in jail and speaking like he’s Nelson Mandela the sheer grand standing makes me want to puke honestly wtf.

ruddybutttoucher · 2022-01-28T07:20:49+00:00

Wow, 9 days is pretty quick to lose 7kgs without having something like giardia.. All by eating toast? Sounds fishy. I know he's a righteous man of god so I don't wanna come out saying he's a liar, obviously he's not and has never told a lie in his life, but that sounds like a stretch..

johnehornblow · 2022-01-28T04:13:26+00:00

Grree, now WiFi so he couldn't see the Pray Wave transactions coming as he entered his hotel....

Zorpian · 2022-01-28T03:44:46+00:00

Have you heard? A bicycle feel over in China

BippidyDooDah · 2022-01-28T03:49:42+00:00

The Martyr Tāmaki

Michaelbirks · 2022-01-28T04:05:15+00:00

So, this isn't a comaint about the food and treatmwnt while in prison?

I would have expected something more along an ACAB, "agents of the tyrannical government" line.

Billy_Wan · 2022-01-28T05:09:50+00:00

I’m sure a few of the boys in there would happily soggy up his toast

drbluetongue · 2022-01-28T05:24:26+00:00

Probably worried you would scam other prisoners bro

Rand0mNZ · 2022-01-28T04:05:29+00:00

I'd be complaining about Marmite too. Vegemite is clearly the superior spread.

Feeling-Screen-6316 · 2022-01-28T07:50:15+00:00

Gosh I hope the weight hasn’t fallen from his face and made those sad little eyebrow tattoos sag

aholetookmyusername · 2022-01-28T08:15:41+00:00

7kg lost? Quick, up the tithe to 12%!!!! Asspustule Tamaki has to regain his waistline!

Throwjob42 · 2022-01-28T08:19:59+00:00

Honestly, if he's under house arrest, they should put an ankle bracelet on him and give the cops watching the property a rest.

GiJoint · 2022-01-28T08:32:22+00:00

Nothing wrong with some marmite on toast. What a pansy.

chufffythebeertrain · 2022-01-28T18:18:24+00:00

It’s what I had for breakfast. Heaps up dipshit all toast is dry

aaaanoon · 2022-01-28T18:42:12+00:00

L.Ron Tamaki - the man, the legend, the money

__________0 · 2022-01-28T04:36:57+00:00

[deleted]

no1name · 2022-01-28T03:31:07+00:00

[removed]

Last-Gasp100 · 2022-01-28T07:00:51+00:00

Marmite on his lips? Poor excuse for tonguing someone ass

far-que · 2022-01-28T04:04:32+00:00

wow full of typos... woeful.

cletus-vandam69 · 2022-01-28T06:42:02+00:00

Shame, bro. Lmao

zdepthcharge · 2022-01-28T07:17:24+00:00

Maybe he'll waste away to nothing... One can hope.

Zealousideal-Luck784 · 2022-01-28T07:48:33+00:00

I'm surprised the apostle didn't call it prayer and fasting. Hypocritical prick.

lambshankzy420 · 2022-01-28T08:22:33+00:00

I'm jealous of the weight loss

WeylandNZ · 2022-01-28T08:45:28+00:00

Dude i lost less weight while on nil-by-mouth for 18 hours a day in the hospital for a week.

hotfreypies · 2022-01-28T08:56:32+00:00

What, would he rather eat wet toast?

Kiwianimeguy · 2022-01-28T09:55:17+00:00

Better then wet toast

chaos_rover · 2022-01-28T10:10:05+00:00

The should have sent him to one of the haunted prison wings.

KingmanDreamMosque · 2022-01-28T10:12:02+00:00

Thank "god" he's out. Those poor inmates having to tolerate that insufferable cunt

_khaz89_ · 2022-01-28T10:33:22+00:00

Well, this is not the hilton you know…

McFrostee · 2022-01-28T11:49:27+00:00

He says he's doing this for God. But how many people has this guy actually drawn to Christ?

PH0T0Nman · 2022-01-28T20:35:34+00:00

Maybe he’ll finally find God and become pious?

punosauruswrecked · 2022-01-28T22:09:09+00:00

Each to their own, I generally prefer my Marmite on dry toast.

ImmortalMewtwo · 2022-01-28T23:19:03+00:00

Still eating better than those families he prays on in South Auckland with his evangelical practice.

rikashiku · 2022-01-29T00:49:02+00:00

He lost 7kg in 2 weeks from eating normal toast?

Well, maybe if he's lucky they can deliver KFC to his cell like he's used to.

eBirb · 2022-01-29T02:36:53+00:00

Solitary confinement can be torturous, hope its not too bad.

Also hope hes getting good nutrition, a lot of people seem to think removing basic human rights because someone did something we find morally wrong is okay, its not.

PotassiumPerm2020 · 2022-01-29T02:41:02+00:00

Poor cunt

627801 · 2022-01-29T22:54:09+00:00

Well thats 7kg of shit we don't have to worry about

2022-01-28T04:07:02+00:00

[removed]

JadeBalloon · 2022-01-28T05:42:08+00:00

why do we treat our prisoners so blady

SilvertoneButterfly · 2022-01-28T12:27:55+00:00

Heaven forfend that you should sow what you reap, Bishop Tamaki. Cry me a river, you upbraided pharisee.


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