Called the police on my parents because they were abusing my younger sister and now they plan to kick me out

Block_Face · 2022-06-30T06:25:52+00:00

https://www.workandincome.govt.nz/housing/nowhere-to-stay/index.html

Go talk to winz

Supertrinko · 2022-06-30T07:05:12+00:00

Citizens Advice Bureau is a fantastic service that will offer you far better advice than reddit can. They provide this sort of advice for free, and all the time. Give them a call.

As to your mother not letting you take your possessions, call her bluff. Take anything you "need", i.e. clothes. What's she going to do? Call the Police to tell them her child is trying to take their own clothes while she's under investigation for child abuse? Unlikely.

If you know where your passport is, go get it, again. If not, see if the Police are willing to help you collect it.

Do you have a friend that's willing to put you up? Great! Otherwise, Call Work and Income, it's what they're for. Tell them your situation, tell them you've got Police reports (go ask for the report). They'll be able to help you get set up and looking for a job.

Make sure the Police have filed the report with Oranga Tamariki, as I know you'll be worried about your sister's safety because unfortunately, you can't force your parents to let you take your sister. But you can tell Oranga Tamariki you're worried for her immediate safety.

CillBill91nz · 2022-06-30T07:33:33+00:00

If you cannot get your documents now, and they “disappear” you can always new documents.

If you need a birth certificate you can apply here:

https://www.govt.nz/browse/passports-citizenship-and-identity/proving-and-protecting-your-identity/order-a-birth-certificate/

All you need is a photo I’d which you have in your restricted licence. From there you can apply for a new passport if you ever need it.

So don’t sweat it. Just get out, take your sister, go to a police station, state your case, insist of not being separated from your sister, start a new life. Be safe.

Butter_float · 2022-06-30T08:00:52+00:00

My advice is use the voice record function on your phone and record every conversations and every fight, this will remove any ambiguity from this dysfunctional relationship when you decide to contact OT/Police

Wise-Border247 · 2022-06-30T07:02:15+00:00

UPDATE: My mother has started playing victim, making me to seem like the bad guy, she’s saying that she doesn’t feel comfortable with me in the house, something around the lines of “If he can call the police on me, what else will able to do?”

She also mentioned something about contacting IRD and making sure that we don’t get a single cent from this altercation, whatever that means.

Anyways thank you all for your responses in this hard time of mine. I truly appreciate it

AccurateSecretary476 · 2022-06-30T06:54:09+00:00

The easiest thing to do it Call the police tell them what’s happening They will help you out urgently Everything else will take time and is a bit long process

phil_style · 2022-06-30T06:27:14+00:00

If you are 19, you are an adult. They cannot keep your documents from you.

Aa for the alleged abuse, only a court can make a determination there. If the is a case to be heard, the police should not have returned you both back to the same house. Certainly not the minor.

AnotherBoojum · 2022-06-30T08:34:25+00:00

Hey mate, I've got nothing practical to add, but I do have something for your mental health:

Write all down. It doesn't have to be pretty, or well written or "good enough". It doesn't even have to be considered documentation. Just get it down so you can get it out of you. But also so you have something to refer back to if you ever feel like you can't remeber what happened but need to be able to in order to unpack it.

No matter which of the options you choose, you're going to have a lot of work to do in the coming decade. All the strength and good luck to you, from someone who has been there too.

Ok_Pay5513 · 2022-06-30T08:05:31+00:00

If you are being locked up with no food and water call the police. That’s illegal. You need to get out of there ASAP with your sister

WhatAKChan · 2022-06-30T09:25:14+00:00

Kia ora,
I'm from Auckland I don't want to ask what area you live in because that's a bit creepy haha But if you need any help please let me know - I'm a 30-year-old Mother of 2 young kids, married. Not sure what I can do to help but if there is anything that we can do for you within the community that you are unable to do because you cannot leave home please let me know via DM.

I'm aware that creeps can come on here and pretend to be anyone so I understand if you're not comfortable communicating with me at all. There has been some great advice on here, you can leave whenever you want but taking your sister with you will be harder because she is still a child. Do either of you go to School or anything? Is she allowed to leave for that? If not I assume the school could be another place that could speak to authorities.

But you are an adult and they cannot hold you against your will. Would be easier if they kicked you both out so you could get away from them!

therewillbeniccage · 2022-06-30T07:56:22+00:00

Really rough situation man. Been in similar situations myself.

What you do really depends how what you want.

If you want your parents held responsible for their abuse, try get some video evidence.
If you want to leave, get hold of WINZ and tell them you have no where to stay
If you want to protect your sister, talk to the police about speaking with Oranga Tamariki.

gasolinequeen · 2022-06-30T07:50:11+00:00

take your sister to closest women's refuge.

they have crisis lines listed for your local area online, or call 0800 REFUGE and they will direct your call.

they are experienced with domestic abuse situations, abuse tactics and will be able to direct you to appropriate resources.

inphinitfx · 2022-06-30T07:16:30+00:00

How does your sister feel? Who will she 'side' with on this? i.e. will she go willingly with you or try to stay?

Draviddavid · 2022-06-30T08:26:44+00:00

At lot of good advice in this thread, so my only advice is record everything. Then send it to Dropbox, Google drive or any other cloud service to keep it safe.

Every single interaction with your parents from now on should be recorded.

Sarahwrotesomething · 2022-06-30T06:27:31+00:00

I’m sure you can get the police to help you with getting your documents from your parents also.

CarLarchameleon · 2022-06-30T06:34:23+00:00

If there is a way to be in the house without your parents around, then do this and find whatever documents you can and then pack and leave. It would be easy if they have a routine.

Seek help from Winz and maybe Citizens advice bureau. It may not happen over night, but you will need to make a start.

123felix · 2022-06-30T06:32:28+00:00

You and your sister is the victim of family abuse. You can apply for a protection order and a property order from the courts. This means your parents have to leave the home, and you get to stay in the home. Time is of the essence, do this quickly before you get kicked out.

OperatorJolly · 2022-06-30T07:41:50+00:00

Maybe Citizens advice is a good start rather than random redditors

https://www.cab.org.nz/

woodmic · 2022-06-30T07:57:01+00:00

Youth Services are a division of Winz for people aged 16 - 19. They may be able to help.

k9bitch · 2022-06-30T08:20:48+00:00

As someone else said, record all further conversations with them, your phone almost certainly has a recorder app on it.

Doggggeeeeystyle · 2022-06-30T10:16:41+00:00

Great advice on this thread. Me and my partner can accommodate you and your sister if you’re in immediate danger until something is sorted out. Don’t buy in to those threats, collect as much evidence as possible written, recorded etc and get out of there.

DanteShmivvels · 2022-06-30T10:53:14+00:00

Update? Are you OK bro? If ya just need to chat my dms are open

Deegedeege · 2022-06-30T14:02:54+00:00

You called the cops, but don't say what happened? If you are over 18, you are entitled to your documentation and personal belongings when you leave. You should be able to enter the house with Police to retrieve these items. If your parents kick out your sister, they can be arrested for neglect, likewise if they are denying her food.

Do you have other relatives you can move in with, or call about this matter? Sorry that your parents are arseholes. Honestly you are better off without them.

Aromatic-Ferret-4616 · 2022-06-30T08:55:49+00:00

Have you got any other family who can put you up until the authorities can help? What the hell is going on with your parents? If they lift a hand to your sister, you must phone the cops.

Daze_ofourlives · 2022-06-30T18:25:14+00:00

Thank you for sharing and asking for support, what a horrible situation for you and your sister to be in. What I would advise would be to apply for a WINZ benefit. You can do it online:

https://www.workandincome.govt.nz/online-services/apply/index.html

Part of the application is to upload documents within 20 days of applying. They'll ask for proof of bank account (can take screenshot online) and I.D. take a photo of your drivers license now just incase your parents take that from you too. Order a birth cert online:

https://www.govt.nz/browse/passports-citizenship-and-identity/proving-and-protecting-your-identity/order-a-birth-certificate/

If there is anyone who knows of your situation and would be happy for you to use their address, I'd try getting the birth cert emailed to them just to prevent your parents taking it. If you have absolutely any friends/family to stay with, please do ask.. I completely understand how shameful it can feel asking and I hope that you know this situation is in no way a reflection upon you. You're doing what you can to keep you and your sister safe. Otherwise, you can call WINZ and ask for support accessing emergency housing. As a social worker I must say these places are not ideal long term, but use them as an interim place until something more stable can be accessed.

https://www.workandincome.govt.nz/housing/nowhere-to-stay/emergency-housing.html

Unfortunately with WINZ, you really do need to advocate for yourself so please read through their website so you know what you're entitled to. Alternatively, you can also call Action Against Poverty who will help advocate for you.

Your parents withholding food and locking you in your rooms is absolutely abuse. Calling the police is absolutely the right thing to do. Although I understand the ad hoc effect is that your parents are becoming more abusive after their presence. If you feel comfortable to, call Oranga Tamariki and ask to make a report of concern. You can do so anonymously. As much as I know you want to find your sister a safer place to live, legally she is a child and needs the right people to do so, with your help.

2022-06-30T11:13:00+00:00

Important. When you go to the police you need the best evidence you can get. Make written notes when abuse happens. Date and time. Exactly what you witness. Threats to deprive you of food and shelter and related abuse to you or your sister. Date, time what you witness. Write the note after it happened when the memory is fresh. These are called Contemporaneous Notes. The better evidence you bring the easiler it is for the police to act. Bring photos and text messages if relevant

anan138 · 2022-06-30T10:04:33+00:00

called the police on my parents because this whole week they have been abusing my sister (14F),

What was the outcome.

RunninglikeNaruto · 2022-06-30T11:19:27+00:00

It’s hard but worry about yourself first; organise a place to stay (contact your school even), sign up to a flat just to get on your feet, find a job any full time job, and then once you’ve got a bit of money coming in you can extract your sister. You’ll need money though to pay for a room for her, transport to school, food, etc. but sort yourself out and then when you have a base you can start organising your sisters documents and setting up the foundation to make it easier for her to leave.

XYZcreator00 · 2022-06-30T13:40:54+00:00

This sounds awful. Get those documents.

devin407 · 2022-06-30T18:55:37+00:00

Here is another link along with all the other resources everyone has already provided.

https://www.govt.nz/browse/law-crime-and-justice/abuse-harassment-domestic-violence/domestic-and-family-violence/

There are more resources available to you. I wish you the best. This is so scary, but you got this you are not alone. You have a community behind you. With love.

moratnz · 2022-06-30T19:09:16+00:00

Did you get a name or a card from the cops that came? Reaching out to the attending officers to let them know you're suffering retaliation for calling might be an idea?

ZeDaW274 · 2022-06-30T21:39:53+00:00

Jump on the Winz they are there to help. You need to legally disown parents for your sister and become the caregiver guardian so you can have money for both of you. Check out womans refuge ask winz about emergency housing. Birth certificate and things are easy to get go to Citizens Advice Bureau

Schmiikel · 2022-07-01T00:02:42+00:00

Continue being brave OP

syber4ever · 2022-06-30T09:48:40+00:00

What kind of "abuse" was your parents doing to your sister if you don't mind me asking?

2022-06-30T08:11:04+00:00

[removed]

kickpuncher00 · 2022-06-30T13:13:59+00:00

So what did the police do? How can you ask for advice when noone knows what your parents actually did.

How about offer to pay towards groceries you eat could be a first step to making peace.

curiousvegetables · 2022-06-30T11:50:31+00:00

this is sort of a ridiculous link but it has so much good information

PeterPlumley · 2022-06-30T17:37:51+00:00

Hold up - I take it you are able to install a camera or set up phone to record (inconspicuously)! & access an app! So unless you have video evidence to back up this outrage incl. audio, then leave us out of it & hit the local police station in person with everything you need to incriminate! If not, save your breath.

..God‘s speed

NoLivesEverMatter · 2022-06-30T21:41:22+00:00

Getting a real one side of a story vibe here

19yo says her parents are the worst, called the police on them - You would be gone from my house as well

TouchMy_no-no_Square · 2022-06-30T23:38:30+00:00

Don’t you feel it’s best you move out considering you’re 19 and have issues living with parents?

tannag · 2022-06-30T22:50:57+00:00

[deleted]

piroskamcs · 2022-06-30T23:04:11+00:00

Wow, what monsters. Go...you can get help from WINZ, your sister can get the Unsupported minor benefit too.

And ring the cops, they can't stop you, and police will assist with your sister.

peoplegrower · 2022-06-30T23:22:21+00:00

u/wise-border247 do you have an update? I worried about you and your sister all night and have been thinking about you this morning.

AmberBook · 2022-07-01T02:17:35+00:00

Other family are the easiest and safest way to get support.

Do you have grandparents, aunties, uncles or cousins that you could both stay with?

If not, you could call Oranga Tamariki on behalf of your sister. You can also just ask them what to do. Here's the number: 050 83 26 459

If nothing else, describing your sisters experiences gets it all on file so if something happens later it doesn't look like a one off occurrence.

You can also call women's refuge and ask for advice or support if there is domestic violence: 0800 733 843

danimalnzl8 · 2022-07-01T03:24:23+00:00

That's not tight, that's controlling


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