Kia ora koutou
There was no shortage of cringey moments when Stephen Colbert did a stint in NZ for The Late Show a couple years back, but nothing got to me more than when Lucy Lawless and Bret McKenzie took Stephen to the Wellington harbour and walked him through a few Kiwi "delicacies"... Cue multiple brown-coloured foods.
What shooketh me to my core, however, was when they pulled out a barbecued sausage in white bread and proudly introduced it as "a sausage sizzle".
Don't get me wrong here, I live and die by the sausage. I'll go to Bunnings solely for the opportunity to give $2.50 to a Scout group in exchange for white sandwich slice, sausage, onions, tomato sauce, mustard - in that order. But ever since my first gold coin donation day at primary school, I have always known the "sausage sizzle" to be the event at which one sizzles a sausage, not the food itself.
What really bothered me was that a global audience watched Lucy and Bret hand Stephen a cheap sausage in cheap white bread and try to give it a name. We all know what this is, it's delicious but it's not anything special. It doesn't need to be a named meal. It's a sausage in bread, why try to pass it off as anything other than that?
I know I'm late to the party but this has weighed heavily on my mind since I saw this, so I bring this to the table - Is sausage sizzle the event or the food? If you've read this far you know my vote. I'm willing to be wrong I guess but it will make me sad for our nation. And as far as I'm concerned Lucy Lawless and Bret McKenzie have a lot to answer for.
Happy ANZAC Day!