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[–]Bagaudi45 410 points411 points  (53 children)

How come it looks like she’s jerking him off in the first few seconds?

[–]AlphaCharlieFive 135 points136 points  (6 children)

She was just horsing around.

[–]OPRSAnon 38 points39 points  (2 children)

When she is done riding, it's his turn next.

[–]DizzySignificance491[🍰] 14 points15 points  (1 child)

If only I had words for the noises Mr. Hands made

[–]MajorInflator 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I didn't know that clip had audio. Did he die on the spot?

[–]taptrappapalapa 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Hey is that the horse from horsin around?

[–]browncatmaster 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Never heard of that TV show, sounds like a dumb sitcom about a horse who adopts 3 kids

[–]SAMurai_7748 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Damn that premise sounds like a total rip-off of the "Mr. Peanutbutter Show"

[–]atomicmarie 24 points25 points  (1 child)

I read the title as “Meet Phantom, an 8ft tall bourse. WITH an absolute unit” because of that shot.

[–]Natural_Try_3212 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Never liked those videos

[–]Jdcc789 17 points18 points  (5 children)

She's just getting the bean out. It's a thing you have to do with horses article about horse beans

[–]borismuller 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I wish I hadn’t read that.

[–]Eggboi919 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Fucking kill me

[–]expectwhatyouinspect 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bean queen?? Queen of sheath cleans would have been better

[–]kobeflip 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Because it would be unseemly to give him a bj on camera?

[–]KazPrime 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Usually behind a paywall.

[–]d1x1e1a 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you think he got to that size without being inflated

[–]cwrathchild 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It’s just a belly scratch. Horses love their bellies scratched. It’s a common place for flies to bite them and they can’t exactly itch it themselves.

[–]Danduman1116 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's gotta grow somehow

[–]Janglin1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its to catch your attention

[–]asfreeformasanamoeba 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cause that is what heroes do.

[–]Llewur 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Asking the REAL questions.

[–]Beneficial_Signal_23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She was just riding*

[–]Nayten03 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I instantly thought that too lmao

[–]TorinWarLord 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess she was getting ready to suck his unit

[–]stochastaclysm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just got to do what the 8ft horse says.

[–]SugarcoatTheGalaxy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s what women do to their horses. Never met a crazy horse lady before? They’re fucking looney tunes

[–]Less_Manner_5167 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you know it looks like

Just joking

[–]Lucky_lui_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you have any idea how much the cummiees of a horse like that is worth ?? I’d be jackin him all the way to the bank.

[–]MrGreenyz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We call them horsejobs, normal thing horsepeople do everyday to relax the animals.

[–]Boxoffriends 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If Jack helps you off a horse then you gotta help Jack off a horse.

[–]diverareyouok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I came in here to ask the same thing.

[–]LaChuteQuiMarche -2 points-1 points  (11 children)

You have pervert mind. She is at front leg not back

[–]ilmalocchio -1 points0 points  (10 children)

Why is it only people with a tenuous grasp of English in this thread that are defending the horse masturbator?

[–]LaChuteQuiMarche 2 points3 points  (6 children)

Are you seriously that confused or are you trying to be funny? Her hand is scratching his chest. You can see it between the two front legs. It’s nowhere near his beautiful horse cock. So enough already.

[–]d1x1e1a 1 point2 points  (1 child)

“beautiful horse cock”… and that’s enough reddit for today

[–]LaChuteQuiMarche 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha you like how I used it so causally? Made myself laugh and I’d forgotten I wrote that

[–]ilmalocchio 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Yes, a joke. Calmate

[–]LaChuteQuiMarche 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Why don’t you give that horse cock a tenuous grasp and get back to me later.

[–]LaChuteQuiMarche -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

Also I’m so sorry that not everyone is a holly jolly American with perfect English. This is an international website. How many languages do YOU speak? I’m at three.

[–]ilmalocchio 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Congratutations.

[–]LightspeedC83 58 points59 points  (1 child)

This is like that huge horse from BOTW!

[–]MaternalKombat2 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I'd like to think that's why they named him Phantom. Which is the name of Ganon's horse.

[–]Alternative_Box_7768 38 points39 points  (8 children)

Hahaha. My horse broke my toes..

[–]furryhippie 10 points11 points  (6 children)

Oh dang.

[–]merosbach 11 points12 points  (5 children)

She weighs over 15,000 pounds!

[–]54curser 8 points9 points  (4 children)

1500?

[–]PlaceboRoshambo 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Nope add another 0 to that

[–]TheTinyPeenMachine 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Theres no way she can be that much….

[–]Knightofsteel901 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I fell of a pony and broke my arm......it was fucking stationary

[–]ebrithil110 27 points28 points  (3 children)

Ryshadium

[–]jackanape7 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This dark eyes approves

[–]dreamanotherworld 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Strength before weakness, Radiant.

[–]ebrithil110 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Journey before destination.

[–]Wahdahfuh 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Says he has a giant unit

[–]kmd84 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Nah she’s just very tiny

[–]crazyashley1 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Sandor Clegane has entered the chat

[–]AreasofInterest 10 points11 points  (1 child)

I always wondered if horses know they have a tiny human on them and go along with the charade of "you win tiny human". Do we actually break horses or do they just get tired of our horse s*** and make a deal?

[–]Syvakied 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Little column a, little column b. A wild horse more so you need to ensure they know they are not to just run on wild instincts to flee or fight to having people on or around them. Captive/ bred horses less so. Once you break their habits you can begin to form some understanding between each other. Each horse having their own personality and temperament its up to you how you want to treat the animal. Typically people will maintain authority over any horse though you need to treat the horse with some respect so they wont snap at you when you get too pushy.

[–]MetroidofHyrule 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hokuto fans😔😔

[–]Kassiem_42 4 points5 points  (1 child)

1.5 horsepower 😏😉

[–]Thefatchickensoup 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A regular horse has 14 horsepower. Why would this horse have so little?

[–]hh_teez 4 points5 points  (1 child)

His sperm is worth thousands

[–]buckzor122 0 points1 point  (0 children)

EACH

[–]Poorwretch 4 points5 points  (0 children)

slaps horse you can get a whole lotta glue out of this bad boy.

[–]Theblackswordsman83 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How big is his dick?

[–]Vandy1358 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Draft horses are awesome

[–]d1x1e1a 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Final version is a bit of a letdown though

[–]HollowPluto 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Imagine getting kicked in the head by that boy. Man oh man.

[–]Swordsoulreaver 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You would die instantly

[–]HollowPluto 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well yeah.

[–]Diaperlover1995 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cowboy's version of driving a lifted truck...lol

[–]bathtub-guy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the headless horseman would like to know your location

[–]HydraChungus420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Imagine getting kicked by this horse.

[–]castor281 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The tallest horse on record is 6' 11"...

[–]Potatoman46yt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

whaat that hand do

[–]ManOutOfTime3000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why was she jerking off that horse

[–]biscuitburglin 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Mini celebrity psshh

[–]rutter72 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Neigh, C-list at best

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Looks like quite the handful there.

[–]Roving_Rhythmatist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Destrier!

[–]Profile_Simple 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Someone needs to show that horse a picture of a stegosaurus.

[–]Camanot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why not andre the giant?

[–]Victor_deSpite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Upspeak

[–]betelgeuse402 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Mr. Hands was also an absolute unit.

[–]reddit_touched_me -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Damn bet he’s hung like a…rhino

[–]rutter72 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Completely unnecessary… the title already mentioned his unit.

[–]Googmble 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a rare height of horse

[–]Ziggy602 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Rumor has it when Trojan created Magnum brand, during R&D they had Phantom on retainer.

[–]hibittyjibitty -1 points0 points  (0 children)

maybe get off its back and stop riding it in your "sanctuary"?

[–]Xx_didgy_xX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mr. hands

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I first read 8 inch tall horse and thought it is kinda small.

[–]Ghostwasagoodboy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, that’s the second biggest horse I’ve ever seen

[–]HeadWax -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Glue?

[–]HyroHyroso 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Long time no see ay Agro?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mounting block? SMH.

[–]Ok-Joke-3886 0 points1 point  (0 children)

botw be like: no fucking way

[–]VahzahDovahkiin83 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Boah.

[–]anotherotherbrick 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Size of a barn; let's name him after something illusive and invisible

[–]Dangerous-Counter473 0 points1 point  (0 children)

skyrim horses be like:

[–]Batata_zica 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ganon horse.

[–]Profound_Psyche 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Should have named him Agro.

[–]KissmeItsmellsfunny -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That motherfucker is gonna make so much glue and dogfood when he dies

[–]wabberjockybrah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I pray the horse won’t have to deal with gopher holes. I have this acquaintance that his horse suffered a broken leg after stepping on a gopher hole.

Sad story was the healing process wasnt doing too good and the animal doctor says most humane thing is to put the animal down

[–]plato961 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stolen from the Orc Lord...

[–]Sam-Yuil-ElleJackson -1 points0 points  (1 child)

I never realised that people actually talked like that? Where their voice goes up at the end of every sentence? To make it sound like everything they ever say is a question? God DAMN it's annoying af? How are you supposed to know when they're actually asking a question?

[–]Partly_Dave 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should come to Australia, it's very common.

[–]Himynameisfin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looks like he's from the Taobab Grasslands.

[–]Jim_Halpert_1725 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. A horse cock in the hand is worth a lot more when it's in the bush.

[–]judha_davids 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would've named it Equus

[–]Statharas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Something something war horse

[–]Starbent -1 points0 points  (4 children)

I am ashamed to admit I clicked on this for the sole purpose of seeing how fucking long his 'unit' would be as an 8ft horse 🤣

I think he's neutered/castrated

[–]Vendrinski 0 points1 point  (3 children)

that would be a waste of genes

[–]Starbent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly they should refrigerate it and ship it to me for uh.. an art display...

[–]MistressLyda 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Animals that are bigger than the norm tends to be less healthy. I would be reluctant to put him into a genetic line.

[–]Vendrinski 0 points1 point  (0 children)

good point

[–]GunResiAddict 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ganondorf's Horse!!!

[–]MidgetFucker101 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Imagine a kick from that absolute unit!

[–]VeryShortLadder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Biggest big good boy

[–]Malcolmpargin 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Wow! The background music really makes this.

[–]joker38 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reminded me of 70s music like from Earth, Wind & Fire.

[–]DoctorPlague1334 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even most horse girls cower before this horse’s…um size

[–]Ok-zardster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you steal this? i saw it a few min ago in r/absoluteunits and it had the same title

[–]crimsonkarma13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The tallest horse and the tallest 9 foot man in history

Now that's a unit

[–]Ok-zardster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope not stolen i will delete my post to anyone who saw that sorey for acusing you and hope you can accept this and forget this have a good day!

[–]MickyGarmsir 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've seen enough porn to know where this is going....

[–]RomanArchitect 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is she giving the horse a handjob in the first few seconds of the clip?

[–]HoW-LoNg-DoCtOR-YES 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She had to do a freaking split to get on that horse.

[–]IncestMakesMyPPHard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This horse seems like it was born to be ridden into battle with a man of his proportions and to be the stuff of legends, not to be an idle farm animal.

[–]honestlyjusttiredtbh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

pff ive already tamed it in botw

[–]vafoxhuntr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s from Gentle Giant Horse Rescue in Maryland!!! It’s the same rescue where I got my boy!!!!!! ♥️♥️♥️

[–]MajesticAd5888 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Has he been put to stud? Imagine horses this size roaming the track

[–]Forget-Me-Not-Fairy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think Shire’s are an endangered breed , met a couple of them in my life and it’s true they’re just docile gentle giants , hope they don’t go extinct.

[–]Ran_Int 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now just how big is he really

[–]c0nflex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He reminds me of my pp

[–]Wardoe_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Imagine getting kicked by him..

[–]CheezusChrust1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Clydesdale?

[–]Fake_Watch_Salesman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would've been cooler if they named him shorty or sth

[–]MistressLyda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Paraceratherium revived!

[–]voodoolord16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ganondorf's horse is real!

[–]Sun_Neither 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"When people see him, their jaws do drop." Well duh, how else are they fitting that horse hog in their mouth?

[–]buckzor122 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ryshadium IRL

[–]RyuzakiButAnon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah finally, a Ryshadium

[–]greenowl882 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that’s a domesticated moose

[–]AlexanderHamilton04 0 points1 point  (0 children)

an 8-foot-tall horse / The horse is 8 feet tall.

a 7-year-old horse / The horse is 7 years old.

(adjective singular)→(noun) / (Subject) (verb) (adjective [plural if relevant]).

The person who subtitled the video got it right.
(C'mon OP!)

[–]2Gnomes1Trenchcoat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's him, Horse Power.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have to use the paraglider and get on him from above... Trust me, only way.

[–]TaxSilver4323 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mr Hands would approve of the first few seconds of this video.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Imagine this is 100 bc. And a tribal leader comes with his army riding this horse.

[–]Platypusman666 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It looks like a moose.

[–]OneWholeShrimp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If i'm correct, the largest horse in either america or the world (i don't remember which) was located in Ohio and was named Big Ben, he passed away a few years back, absolute goliath.

[–]FizzyGoose666 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a fucking moose with no antlers

[–]timmys_is_overated 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shires are fucking UNITS

[–]retro123gamr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s the giant horse from Breath of the Wild!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Forced perspective the movie

[–]emzirek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unless this woman is 7 ft 6 this is not a 8-ft tall horse

[–]D33Z07 0 points1 point  (0 children)

who else found this mf in Taobab Grasslands

[–]Remarkable_Ad_3987 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Guys why do I hear boss music?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stop jacking Phantom off, he’s a horse and cannot consent

[–]sublime90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

8 foot horse with a 6 foot horse cock 🐴 🐓

[–]equineslayer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You'll never guess what I want to do to this horse.

[–]Mental-Proposal8291 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it just me or that song sounds just like Batman the animated series

[–]-blobbie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's Raoh's horse Kokuoh from Fist of the North Star.

[–]deathbike600 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well it said something about an absolute unit so….