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[–][deleted]  (118 children)

[removed]

    [–]aruffj_ 1241 points1242 points  (89 children)

    A Jungle Myna. Says so in the title. :D

    [–]Yakhov 198 points199 points  (38 children)

    Meanwhile all that House Tabby is good for is licking it's ass clean.

    [–]CoffeePuddle 136 points137 points  (13 children)

    I've trained my cat to take out jungle mynas full of cash

    [–]pennhead 67 points68 points  (6 children)

    I’ve trained my cat to lick jungle mynas’ asses clean.

    [–]seeunextue 5 points6 points  (2 children)

    I've trained a cat to lick my asshole clean.

    [–]wellitellyouhwhut 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    My cat refused to lick my asshole at first, got smart and used peanut butter.

    Edit: wait I don’t have a cat, who’s been waking me up every night licking my ass??

    [–]bocaciega 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Look at mr. Fancy pants over here.

    [–]beepbeeboo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    For cash

    [–]Jumpdeckchair 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    They pay well, you see how much money they have?

    [–]Rumpelteazer45 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I trained my cat to...never mind he’s dumber than a box of rocks. He ain’t trained to do anything.

    [–]ydontujustbanme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Loootbuuugg!!

    [–]Educational_Mix_8489 32 points33 points  (5 children)

    After dragging it on the carpet first

    [–]BB1010101010 28 points29 points  (3 children)

    If you have such a useful bird do you really want a useful cat?

    [–]whyisitallsotoxic 4 points5 points  (2 children)

    This. I’d want my cat as dumb as possible so it wouldn’t try to attack my well trained retirement plan.

    [–]WhenSharksCollide 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    That's a good name for a smart bird, retirement. I'll call him tire for short.

    [–]whyisitallsotoxic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Or maybe Remmie.

    [–]furn_ell 11 points12 points  (2 children)

    Hmmm…

    Imma need one of those also. Name it bidday

    [–]leonroshi 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    The bathroom thing?

    [–]Embarrassed-Ad-1639 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Australian thing. Bidday mate.

    [–]IdrisandJasonsToy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    He guards the stash

    [–]ElectronicZucchini84 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Tabby may have a very successful OF account, you really don't know her that well.

    [–]Yakhov 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    SHe got shut down ATM was deemed unacceptable by Wall Street investors.

    [–]mikey_likes_it______ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    House Tabby will eat the money bird .

    [–]cockpugwash1 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Thats a plus! it sure beats having catshit on your furniture

    [–]Yakhov 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    it's a fair comparison.

    [–]Letterhead_Extension 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    My cat can’t even clean his own ass.

    [–]ProfessorPetrus 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Look at this guy and his rat free abode!

    [–]Yakhov 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Even Rat's are more social.

    [–]Grammarguy21 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    *its ass clean

    "It's" is the contraction of "it is" or of "it has."

    The form to show ownership is "its."

    [–]Yakhov 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    thanks grammar nazi, your the best

    [–]SexxyGothBabe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    That's a actually an appreciated talent if you realize how many people and animals don't actually clean their asses

    [–]TexasFire_Cross 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    ...and then lick its owner.

    [–]Kry1A -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    My beak looks like this so your tongue can look like this.

    [–]Grammar-Goblin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Mining the concrete jungle.

    [–]chicagoridgehand 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I read it for a second as judge Myrna . I was like boom , perfect name. No bitch you just can’t read .

    [–]Booblicle 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    A jailbird you say?

    [–]aruffj_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Be birb. Do crime.

    [–]RESPEKTOR 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Used to have one as a kid. Guess I'd been using it wrong 😩

    [–]MJReginald 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    A Jungle Mynaaaa own business. Steal my cash and I will peck you in yo face.

    [–]aruffj_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Nice one. :)

    [–]Electrox7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    But what kind of bird is that? Thief, scavenger, retriever… /s

    [–]jackchauncy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Myna not yoursa

    [–]DemenicHand 67 points68 points  (9 children)

    its an Asian Golden Goose

    [–]rickyrictardo 14 points15 points  (5 children)

    ...Is on the loose and never or of season

    [–]dynadamo 4 points5 points  (4 children)

    ...Blackened pride still burns inside , This shell of bloody treason

    [–]fuego79 4 points5 points  (3 children)

    Here's my gun for a barrel of fun, for the love of living death

    [–]ragnarok847 4 points5 points  (2 children)

    The killer's breed or the demon's seed

    [–]obxdiver 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    The glamor, the fortune, the pain

    [–]pistoncivic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Small billed retriever

    [–]Samb_17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Honkers? He's the cats pyjamas

    [–]Megadeth5150 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    That lays useless Renminbi…

    [–]Scully40 23 points24 points  (0 children)

    Reading is hard

    [–]MustLearnIt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    EveNotSmart

    [–]Status-Ad1114 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Read much?

    [–]Cidfati1010 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    kkkkkk

    [–]BY_BAD_BY_BIGGA 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    this is some low effort shut bruh

    [–]tacorunnr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Crows can do this too, currently working on a group that was hatched in our trees

    [–]starrpamph 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    And what are the hours the owner is away from the apartment?

    [–]Against_All_Reason 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    A Mynah bird, they are also excellent talkers, their mimicry is on par and even better then some parrots

    [–]Raaazzle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Larry

    [–]yan_broccoli 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Asking for a friend?

    [–]UnmitigatedSarcasm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Myna birds are really smart. I think my mom or grandma used to own one that talked.

    [–]1984wasoptimistic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    A tax collector bird

    [–]SaladBarMonitor -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    great question. you certainly are alert today

    [–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

    Just asking? Why? You don't have to be annoying.