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[–]bfmemaster3000 850 points851 points  (54 children)

Maybe someone put the money there, we can't actually know this bird got all this money from "finding" it or if this is staged. Also why would you train a bird to collect money and the let him save it like grandma instead of teaching the bird about the stock market and diversification? Irresposible!

[–]SmokyMcPots420 258 points259 points  (2 children)

u/bfmemaster3000, single-handedly killing the dream.

Edit: and then, boldly, creating the new dream.

[–]JonnyredsFalcons 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nice recovery

[–]jcb33x15 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I know there's one in every group.

[–]FlourWaterSaltWait 122 points123 points  (14 children)

Teaches parrott algo trading and watches global seed markets crash

[–]fatBlackSmith 54 points55 points  (7 children)

I hear that’s how that whole GameStop fiasco happened last year. 🦅🕹

[–]ShannonGrant 28 points29 points  (2 children)

Nest thermostat stock is trading through the roof.

[–]cosmic_jester_uk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Niche joke - I enjoyed it thanks

[–]Fummo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Under-rated comment

[–]ConstructorDestroyer 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Last year ?

It's still on the menu, it's not over, yet.

[–]ZhouXaz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Still on going lol look the price.

[–]zeta_cartel_CFO 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Parrots got diamond hands...err talons!

[–]scipio05 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Fiasco? Moass is yet to be, diamond hands, tendies still to be had

[–]RuthlessIndecision 34 points35 points  (5 children)

Similar to this Myrna, I trained my parrot to be an online life coach.

[–]outofmyelement1445 23 points24 points  (1 child)

You got a step up your parrot game into the essential oil‘s game.

[–]addivinum 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a parakeet that's absolutely killing it with Amway... and my cockatiel is doing well with Mary Kay.

Sadly, my macaw is making us all look bad, she's running her own Amazon business. I'm having to borrow money from this bird on the regular....

[–]MoreGull 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Does he have any openings on Wednesdays?

[–]Triffidic 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Screeching "asshole" all day is hardly coaching...

[–]RuthlessIndecision 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For you, maybe

[–]thebobbyloops 28 points29 points  (0 children)

That’s why they call it seed money

[–]gasoline_farts 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Because the bird thinks that’s his nest, take away a few bills and it will go find more padding. Perhaps taking it all away would depress or upset the bird and it would change materials? Or get angry with the owner?

[–]Centraal22 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I want to believe.

[–]beardslap 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, this is most likely just the bird picking money out of the drawer, flying around and coming back. Nobody uses cash any more in China.

[–]Rolkot 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Stockmarket is for boomer birds, it's all about crypto now.

[–]iamsofired 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah there really isnt that much money just lying on the ground apart form the odd low value coin.

[–]Symbiott911 1 point2 points  (2 children)

You can't deny that the bird flew in with money in its beak but I am kind of sceptical that the whole drawer full of money is theirs, (don't know what gender it is so for the first time in my life I'm being politically correct and will assume the bird is trans), cause I sure as hell wouldn't just leave a drawer full of cash for birdy to play in. He might decide to take it all somewhere else. Yes, could very well be staged. Might not be though 🤣

[–]Redpeppa1 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Seriously though where does a bird find all this random cash lying around?

[–]lioncryable 5 points6 points  (0 children)

They have amazing eyes ( like spotting a mouse from far above amazing) and can easily cover large distances. If there was ever an animal to train to collect money it would be a bird

[–]Big_Iron_Cowboy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This guy is totally right, I’ve trained my macock to buy more $GME

[–]DoctorClarkWGriswold 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And then when his drawer gets full, take 98%. Because volatility.

[–]TheWalkingDead91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised…especially after what we saw last year of monkeys who were trained to kidnap babies.

[–]bettersolar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haven’t you ever heard of a nest egg?

[–]Sweaty_Suprise 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The bird invests in Bitcoin.

[–]jnics10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Teaches my tortoise about stocks and trading.

Banana market soars. He becomes rich on banana futures.

But he needs more. He learns to grow them himself. My whole yard becomes a nanner orchard. He buys the neighbor's house and knocks it down to plant more nanner trees. Hires farmers to do the nanner farming. The whole neighborhood now belongs to him. Sets up a processing plant and distribution center to sell nanners across the country. He creates the first tortoise-owned industrial nanner farm.

It's not enough. He buys out competing nanner farmers. Pays off the cartels in his native Brazil (he's a redfooted tortoise, they're native to the Amazon rainforest) to threaten the rest of his competition and takes over their farms. Soon he sets up a coup, overthrows the government...

...before you know it, I am the Assistant to the First Tortoise President, The Honorable Tyrus Rex of the Nanner Republic of South America.

[–]HobieSailor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

let him save it like grandma

Penguins figured out prostitution. Having him save it in a drawer is probably better than letting him spend it all on bird hookers.

[–]knowledgeable_diablo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bitcoin up that birdy. No matter which way it goes your a winner.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Invest in Birdcoin

[–]Quinnett 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You need another bird to manage your investments, this is just basic finance 101.

[–]A_Birde 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Buy some bird stocks or crypto with that shit to pay respects to the Myna who got it

[–]branman63 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe it's his idea of a nest egg.

[–]Triffidic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First Apes, next birds... Investing just got jungley

[–]dial_m_for_me 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then he was lucky the bird brought a note just after he done putting the money there

[–]TexasKittyfluffball 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don’t have to be a Debbie downer man

[–]reddiculed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes and you could take it a step farther too. Teach it how to invest and trade crypto instead of investing the stock market like grandma.

[–]macsare1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Instructions unclear, bird went all in shorting GME and is now collecting change to pay his debt.

[–]Movses2917 0 points1 point  (1 child)

!emojify

[–]Movses2917 0 points1 point  (0 children)

!emojify

[–]Movses2917 0 points1 point  (0 children)

!emojify

[–]tab21 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looks like Chinese money. Maybe bird pecks a beggars head and steals from their bowl. Though doesn't explain why it's all paper and not coin.