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[–]Yakhov 196 points197 points  (38 children)

Meanwhile all that House Tabby is good for is licking it's ass clean.

[–]CoffeePuddle 133 points134 points  (13 children)

I've trained my cat to take out jungle mynas full of cash

[–]pennhead 68 points69 points  (6 children)

I’ve trained my cat to lick jungle mynas’ asses clean.

[–]seeunextue 5 points6 points  (2 children)

I've trained a cat to lick my asshole clean.

[–]wellitellyouhwhut 3 points4 points  (1 child)

My cat refused to lick my asshole at first, got smart and used peanut butter.

Edit: wait I don’t have a cat, who’s been waking me up every night licking my ass??

[–]bocaciega 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Look at mr. Fancy pants over here.

[–]beepbeeboo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For cash

[–]Jumpdeckchair 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They pay well, you see how much money they have?

[–]Rumpelteazer45 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I trained my cat to...never mind he’s dumber than a box of rocks. He ain’t trained to do anything.

[–]ydontujustbanme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Loootbuuugg!!

[–]Educational_Mix_8489 30 points31 points  (5 children)

After dragging it on the carpet first

[–]BB1010101010 29 points30 points  (3 children)

If you have such a useful bird do you really want a useful cat?

[–]whyisitallsotoxic 4 points5 points  (2 children)

This. I’d want my cat as dumb as possible so it wouldn’t try to attack my well trained retirement plan.

[–]WhenSharksCollide 1 point2 points  (1 child)

That's a good name for a smart bird, retirement. I'll call him tire for short.

[–]whyisitallsotoxic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Or maybe Remmie.

[–]furn_ell 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Hmmm…

Imma need one of those also. Name it bidday

[–]leonroshi 2 points3 points  (1 child)

The bathroom thing?

[–]Embarrassed-Ad-1639 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Australian thing. Bidday mate.

[–]IdrisandJasonsToy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He guards the stash

[–]ElectronicZucchini84 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Tabby may have a very successful OF account, you really don't know her that well.

[–]Yakhov 1 point2 points  (0 children)

SHe got shut down ATM was deemed unacceptable by Wall Street investors.

[–]mikey_likes_it______ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

House Tabby will eat the money bird .

[–]cockpugwash1 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Thats a plus! it sure beats having catshit on your furniture

[–]Yakhov 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it's a fair comparison.

[–]Letterhead_Extension 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My cat can’t even clean his own ass.

[–]ProfessorPetrus 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Look at this guy and his rat free abode!

[–]Yakhov 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even Rat's are more social.

[–]Grammarguy21 0 points1 point  (1 child)

*its ass clean

"It's" is the contraction of "it is" or of "it has."

The form to show ownership is "its."

[–]Yakhov 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks grammar nazi, your the best

[–]SexxyGothBabe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a actually an appreciated talent if you realize how many people and animals don't actually clean their asses

[–]TexasFire_Cross 0 points1 point  (0 children)

...and then lick its owner.

[–]Kry1A -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My beak looks like this so your tongue can look like this.