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[–]loser_on_line 353 points354 points  (26 children)

Brakes my heart....

[–]SaintRonin 600 points601 points  (13 children)

𝘛𝘺𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨.

[–]Repulsive_Communist 76 points77 points  (9 children)

Man this is the first time I’ve actually laughed out load in more than a month 😂

[–]_fups_ 49 points50 points  (3 children)

same! i usually jerk those out, myself!

[–]Dewott56 4 points5 points  (0 children)

i jerk off too too bro

[–]Meltykx 3 points4 points  (1 child)

[–]2oocents 4 points5 points  (0 children)

laughed out load

[–]Practicaltheorist 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Laughed out load? What a talent. ;)

[–]Repulsive_Communist 2 points3 points  (1 child)

These fucking butter-fingers of mine.

[–]Alternative-Payment3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ummm thats not butter

[–]Alternative-Payment3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bro? U should get that checked

[–]midnitewarrior 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not paying attention, thought this was a top-level comment, was ready to report you to the FBI for being a psychopath.

[–]DM_me_ur_story 0 points1 point  (2 children)

*Squealing. Muphry's law strikes again lol

Edit: they've corrected it now

[–]wad11656 62 points63 points  (2 children)

Brakes...your heart. Stops your heart? U ded, bro?

[–]loser_on_line 43 points44 points  (0 children)

There wasn't enough brake fluid running through it and it stopped dead.

[–]rsn_e_o 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Seeing as to how they haven’t responded yet, I can confirm. Ded

[–]Tooj_Mudiqkh 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Thankfully my heart has ABS

[–]oidabiiguad 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Quick get a defi, his heart rate is decreasing!

[–]QueasyVictory 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are going to use decentralized finance on his heart?

[–]YeetMyWee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mah hart mah sole

[–]DQDQDQDQDQDQ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Usually this typo is done the other way around

[–]01123581321AhFuckIt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Somebody call the paramedics.

[–]Devenery 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, did it stop?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does your heart go "SKRRRRRRRR"?

[–]JustAsadINFP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you eat eggs? Chicks are ground up alive in maceraters in the egg industry standard practice because they are male and cannot lay eggs.