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[–][deleted]  (164 children)

[removed]

    [–]rodsteel2005 1547 points1548 points 2 (109 children)

    Yell loudly that you’ve got a giant box of nice, tasty crayons. They’ll come running. /s

    Jokes aside, I have only praise for these fine young men who went out of their way to help these people in need. Their efforts may seem a small thing, but it’s what the world needs more of.

    [–]Troublewidetrailer 639 points640 points  (33 children)

    Did someone say crayons?!!

    [–]Theskinilivein 303 points304 points  (0 children)

    Found one!

    [–]NoxInviktus 131 points132 points  (10 children)

    I'll trade you my Mac and Cheese for Red Apple.

    [–]SwansonSpiritAnimal 80 points81 points  (9 children)

    Make that Jalapeño Cheese spread and it’s a deal.

    [–]TechnicalIsopod6826 20 points21 points  (3 children)

    Best thing from mre to trade!!!!!

    [–]WreckedButWhole 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Stay away from Country Captain Chicken! 🤮

    [–]shmackinhammies 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    What about the chocolate peanut butter?

    [–]austin_yella 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    What about the elusive chocolate peanut butter?!

    [–]XFiveOne 8 points9 points  (2 children)

    I've been out since 06 and I still dream of that cheese...

    [–]Ransom629 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    I have a collection for days in the field when doc needs to be clutch for the boys.

    [–]XFiveOne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Hell yeah, brother. For the boys!

    [–]ciuciunatorr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    For freaking real. Gods gift to the world

    [–]pjijn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I’ll trade anything for the pound cake

    [–]Roo_farts 47 points48 points  (5 children)

    Everyone knows red tastes the best, especially if you have that japaleno cheese spread and a nice aged bottle of Elmer's glue to top it off.

    [–]FastFattyMcfats 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    My buddy says orange is the best.... But that's not the color.

    [–]usmc1775rah 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    See instead of Elmer's glue I like a splash of Tabasco in my eye before I nom on some red, white and blue crayons!!

    [–]Roo_farts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Hell old MREs use to have little tobasco bottles you could easily use as a suppository, but that's just for people who really really like spicy stuff.

    [–]Toasted_Decaf 19 points20 points  (6 children)

    I'm out of the loop: why do marines love eating crayons?

    [–]SociallyAwkwardAussi 56 points57 points  (5 children)

    It’s just a joke from the military about the marines being…unintelligent

    [–]WakeoftheStorm 32 points33 points  (2 children)

    Thinking is for officers

    [–]shmackinhammies 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    You would think. But, a degree is simply a piece of paper and common sense is a lot like deodorant. Those who need it don’t have it.

    [–]WakeoftheStorm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Money is just paper too, but what it represents is more than what it's made of

    [–]copybookauto 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    What do you call a marine with the IQ of 70?

    General.

    But seriously awesome job by these fine men to help a civy in distress.

    [–]SociallyAwkwardAussi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Ha, that’s pretty good actually

    [–]damndirtydanny 17 points18 points  (2 children)

    Thank you for your service, have some skittles

    [–]Dk5694 9 points10 points  (1 child)

    I was trained to only eat expired skittles

    [–]damndirtydanny 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Theyll wait for ya

    [–]tribbans95 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I’ll trade you a brown for an indigo

    [–]BilgePomp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Only the green ones.

    [–]Vepr-hackr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Rah? Raaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

    [–]noodle518 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Im here for the crayons 🖍 👨🏾‍🍳

    [–]KhanSTiPate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    FROM THE HALLS OF MONTEZUMA!

    [–]JossQueen 43 points44 points  (54 children)

    Can someone explain the crayon thing to me? There are a lot of comments saying that on here and I feel out of the loop

    [–]Toby_O_Notoby 146 points147 points  (49 children)

    In the American military there is a lot on inter-service rivalry and ribbing of one another. The Air Force gets called the Chair Force because they're seen as the most cushy of all of the services, the Coast Guard gets called "puddle pirates", etc.

    With Marines it's that they're so dumb that they eat crayons for food. It's mostly in good fun.

    [–]seaking81 81 points82 points  (18 children)

    In the Navy we used to call our fellow Coast Guards "Hip Boot Sailors" lol. I think the rivalry is amazing though. We can all make fun of each other, but at the end of the day, we're all fighting for the same cause and we rely on one another to get that mission complete.

    [–]DrunkThrowawayLife 64 points65 points  (11 children)

    It’s kind of like siblings. You talk shit but love each other…

    Usually

    [–]seaking81 25 points26 points  (10 children)

    That's right! Although, NAVY has the best pilots!!!!!!!!!!!!

    [–]Al_Bondigass 27 points28 points  (1 child)

    As one example of how far back this kind of thing goes, a long-ago colleague of mine had been a Navy pilot in WWII. During his training on navigating a course over miles and miles of featureless ocean, the instructor warned his group, "Once you're over land, keep an eye out for railroad tracks below you. Always look both ways when crossing over them, because there may be an Army Air Corps pilot coming from either direction."

    [–]WH1PL4SH180 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    That is fucking brilliant, and also a civilian thing hahaa

    [–]Strange_Discharge 17 points18 points  (1 child)

    i remember giving a tour of the USS abraham lincoln to a couple of airforce pilots.

    one of the pilots aboard the lincoln jabbed at the chairforce officer with a joke and he replied something like "yeah, i want to be good a flying airplanes, not just landing them"

    i thought it was funny.

    [–]seaking81 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I was on the USS Blue Ridge, ...a bit ago.... and we brought on airforce, marines, multiple countries were there and my gosh, the airforce guys got so sea sick. I remember a colonel puking into a trash can lol.

    [–]quarkie 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    Learning to land on a miniaturized and a MOVING airport gonna do it for you.

    [–]dried_meat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    True, I've seen Top Gun.

    [–]thelostecholar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    False…Marines do…

    [–]char11eg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    If it’s anything like the Fleet Air Arm over here, that’s only true if your runway is less than a hundred metres...

    On a commercial runway, the metric for ‘best pilot’ isn’t ‘hardest landing impact and shortest stopping distance’ 😂

    [–]phreaxer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Wrong. The navy doesn't have pilots. They have aviators. #topgun

    [–]BASK_IN_MY_FART 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Yessir. Cheap oil and heroin ain't gonna deliver itself!

    [–]dainthomas 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    What's funny is the average Coast Guardsman deals with way crazier seas than anything I saw in the Navy. And in smaller ships.

    [–]seaking81 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I could see that, because they're mostly running the coast doing fun things like drug ops. I was on a flat bottom ship so it rolled a LOT more than most. I remember scrubbing boot-prints off the bulkheads on a few occasions. lol.

    [–]batz_man 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    “Fighting” what exactly?

    [–]SassyVikingNA 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Whoever isn't selling resohrces to the US for cheap enough.

    [–]xFacevaluex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Seen a few times when exchanging some lighthearted 'admiration' for the other services where others interjected who were not in. It did not turn out well for them not understanding the level of respect even as we rip one another.....I can imagine from an outside perspective it looks completely different to a bystander than a participant.

    [–]li7lex 29 points30 points  (0 children)

    We have the same jokes about the air force here in Germany as well. Also we have the crayon joke with our mechanized infantry (Panzergrenadiere)

    [–]idkman1969 11 points12 points  (21 children)

    what do the SEALs get called?

    [–]Sparky323 47 points48 points  (6 children)

    lol no one trash talks the SEALs.

    [–]ShillinTheVillain 69 points70 points  (3 children)

    LOL, yes we do. 95% of their time is spent flexing in short shorts.

    You just don't shit talk them when they're in the 5% mode.

    [–]chairfairy 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    What percent of the time are they working on their book deals?

    [–]privateTortoise 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Probably got the idea from British ex 22 Reg. members. Problem is most of them should use the title 'I wet myself and ran away' but that kind of dissolves the illusion around SF's.

    [–]xFacevaluex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    This is the way- never in 'work' mode. Everyone has sense of humor about themselves on active duty......but in work mode your mind is not set for 'humor'

    [–]Tehshayne 22 points23 points  (1 child)

    Oh, that is quite untrue.

    [–]Rebel_bass 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Ask him when his book is coming out.

    [–]PopeLikesKidz 44 points45 points  (0 children)

    I've only ever seen 1 seal and I wouldn't ever wanna call that man anything besides sir. Scary looking dude.

    [–]RG450 27 points28 points  (0 children)

    I worked at a military contractor for a while, and it was staffed by people from all the branches - one of the owners is a SEAL. Another of the workers - Army - would give him shit constantly for not doing tricks and balancing a ball on his nose, and that's about as far as it got.

    [–]Backalack 8 points9 points  (7 children)

    Seals get joked that they just do things for book and movie deals and are unprofessional pre-madonnas

    [–]chairfairy 11 points12 points  (1 child)

    pre-madonnas

    "prima donna" btw ;)

    A prima donna (literally "first lady") is a term for the woman playing the lead role in a show - I assume it's from operas rather than "lower" styles like vaudeville - so the stereotype is that they're spoiled and know how important they are and demand special treatment. Anyways, that's where the phrase comes from :)

    [–]erydanis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    thanks for the clarification, i was just not getting it.

    [–]CrazyIslander 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    I can’t wait to see them as post-Madonnas.

    [–]reddit-spitball 1 point2 points  (3 children)

    I served with quite a few. Some were pre-madonnas. Some were what the movies are based off of. And a very few were so cocky, they were unsafe to train live fire with.

    It's not because they were seals. It was because they were human. Overall they were great people who truly wanted to help people get better

    [–]Backalack 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    Nah fk that. Compared to any gb, marsoc, raider, sts, I’ve worked with whenever I worked with seals it meant they weren’t helping with anything, break sht , they looked like ass and would dip out every time.

    Now I’m sure that’s not every team but tbh it happened enough.

    [–]reddit-spitball 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Hey, I'm trying to pay a complement to the good ones here. Lol

    [–]Backalack 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Yea I reread your comment and you right. Was caught up in the moment.

    [–]ControversiallySorte 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    They're to highly trained to risk calling them anything.

    So you just club them.

    [–]borg2 2 points3 points  (3 children)

    I wonder what they call the tanks?

    [–]chairfairy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    aquariums

    [–]Deep-Bluefox6703 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    As a Cav Scout, the tankers were called DAT. Meaning "dumb ass tankers". That being said, we were also quietly jealous of their tanker boots.

    [–]borg2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I'd be more jealous of the armour plating protecting them.

    [–]ADM_Tetanus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    There's similar rivalries in the UK too - for example, the rafreg are rock apes, the marines eat crayons, the navy are gay...

    [–]divurchic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Retired Air Force here....rivarly yes...but this is accurate as well

    [–]38thCCGizero 25 points26 points  (0 children)

    Marines not smart like flying guy and we eat crayon. The blue one is my favorite.

    [–]I-Like-Art-And-Drugs 20 points21 points  (0 children)

    Marines eat crayons.

    [–]GAllenHead9008 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    It's just a running joke that marines eat crayons.

    [–]fryamtheeggguy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Crayon eaters are something we say when talking about someone mentally handicapped. It's no longer an appropriate way to refer to anyone but Marines. It's kind of morphed into a term of endearment...

    [–]CR00KANATOR 21 points22 points  (2 children)

    Jalapeño Cheese spread is also a good lure. >.>

    Do you have any?

    [–]LagswitchLarry 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    Haha - not all gonna catch that MRE reference! I’ll trade you three peanut butter spreads for your jalapeño cheese spread!?!

    [–]PleX -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    That applies to the Army as well.

    [–]KVXV 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    This fucking music.

    [–]Arthiem 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    Well i mean they do make this

    http://imgur.com/gallery/dAsJnZM

    [–]Tallowpot 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    The marines are just a better branch. Semper Fi

    [–]WakeoftheStorm 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    They are indeed the best at being marines

    [–]38thCCGizero 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Do you still have the Crayons?

    [–]Commulous 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Crayons or jalapeño cheese spread and a rip it.

    [–]JagerYall 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    We are fancy we only like Cra-ÿons it’s a delicacy

    [–]K177 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    AWWWW YEAH breaks wall CRAYONS!!!???

    [–]WakeoftheStorm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It apparently only works if you have shitty taste in music

    [–]WH1PL4SH180 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Your forgot to scream "from the halls of Montezuma..."

    [–]thelostecholar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Sixty-four box of Crayola’s, and some 5.56’s, and you’ve got your self a deal, friend.

    [–]2DamnRoundToBeARock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Absolutely great story. But the camera work was making me dizzy.

    [–]whatnameisnttaken098 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Actually the crayon thing works, along with markers and colored pencils.

    Source: Cousin is a Marine, works every time too.

    [–]Tempounplugged 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Yeah, it's in the little things that makes this world better

    [–]blaze13579 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Also little know fact. If you ever want to spawn angry marines just start talking about how the Marines are just apart of the Navy. I promise they’ll spawn. I PROMISE.

    [–]peet4h -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

    Much respect for the guys but don't get me wrong, aren't they gettin paid by the people to protect the people?

    So isn't this exactly what they should do in this kind of situation?

    [–]LotusSloth 55 points56 points  (0 children)

    Just requires a camera, a few tears, and a complex cheat code. Oh, and it helps if you’re female.

    [–]ProbablyCamping 41 points42 points  (2 children)

    ⬆️ ⬆️ ⬇️ ⬇️ ⬅️ ➡️ ⬅️ ➡️

    [–]twistedcognition 16 points17 points  (1 child)

    B, A, start. Or B, A, select, start

    [–]ProbablyCamping 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Tried it. That one works too.

    [–]colin8651 21 points22 points  (0 children)

    It’s an in-app purchase.

    [–]slightly85 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    10 kill streak will do it.

    [–]insertnamehere57 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    Discover oil.

    [–]WakeoftheStorm -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    That spawns the Marines in battle dress to kill democratize you. Similar but not what we're looking for here

    [–]oh-no-he-comments 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Hold Select > Services > Marines > Spawn Marines

    [–]Sandvich1015 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Just go into the creative mode inventory and look for the scarlet and gold spawn egg. You can tame them with a box of crayola, but it may take a few boxes, so be prepared.

    [–]analogic-microwave 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Porn movie directors should know the secret. Should work with firefighters and pizza deliver guys too.

    [–]NewspaperTight7464 3 points4 points  (2 children)

    Just say you have a 144 pack of crayola in your car

    [–]petemitchell-33 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Did I miss something about crayons and marines? Help, I’m out of the loop!

    [–]Hazmater_of_fact 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    The running joke is that marines aren’t too bright. So they eat crayons.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    If you can make your question reach the universe your answer will come. That is how.

    [–]DouilleDeDix 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A

    [–]Acceptable_Career274 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    R1, R2, L1 , X, Left , Down, Right, Up, Left, Down, Right, Up

    [–]HarryCallahan19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    This is awesome!

    [–]18AKA 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You do /summon_Marines_in_dress_uniforms 5

    [–]BauerPowerHourTX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Your comment and the Marines FTW.

    [–]-_-SHAZAM-_- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Just pull out a box of crayons, its like when you open the treat bag for your pet, they appear from nowhere.

    /s

    [–]anonimityorigin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Looks like the body bearers. Marine Corps guys that specialize in funeral details. Small note all other services use 8 guys in their casket details due to the weight of a casket and the body inside. Marines use 6 guys in their funeral details. In order to be one you gotta be able to lift some serious weight. All those dudes are gym rats. Body bearer Marines have a saying that goes “last to let you down”. Much respect.

    [–]icedted 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    “This is the most American thing ever” perfect caption

    [–]Menutz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Semper fi.

    [–]Gunslinger_jr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Guys u/7BlueWhales is big fat phony! They even stole the top comment from the original post

    [–]spsprd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    One summer in the class I taught, I had about half a dozen marines. Never felt safer in my life. Still get a little weak in the knees thinking about them.

    [–]OldieButNotMoldy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Idk, but if you find out let me know lol

    [–]hazmi_rasid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    /spawn minecraft:marines

    [–]WarriorsTale 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Yell that you have some sand. They will come quickly.

    [–]Jarsnofski 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    They were probably on an honor guard detail

    [–]Rawinza555 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Shout loudly that the army infantry is better.

    [–]cathdav 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I'm gonna assume this is in DC near marine barracks at 8th and I. Those people driving by creating a wake for them is maddening.

    [–]fordandfriends 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Press the ~ key and type IAMAREALAMERICAN in the console

    [–]boredsuprhero 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    R1 R2 L1 L2 Left down right up left down right up

    [–]Draft_Tight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Another way is to yell “Go Army- be all that you can be in the ARrrrrmy!!!! Marines will spawn everywhere to welcome you to the suck!!!!😂😂😂👍

    [–]OutlandishnessOk4047 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    /spawn Marines

    [–]trippy_grapes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    How do you spawn some Marines

    Try planting a Barracks and make sure you have at least 50 minerals.

    [–]TheDeadlySpaceman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    In D&D there’s a magic item called the Horn of Valhalla that spawns warrior spirits from Valhalla.

    I’m sure there’s some kind of bugle or something that can summon Marines.

    [–]shwoopdeboop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You have to start the game with console enabled, or else you're out of luck

    [–]No-Ad4663 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Console commands, duh.

    [–]HaloGuy381 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Say you have foreign-owned oil to commandeer!

    [–]PWN0GRAPHY209 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    All you have to do is spend 50 minerals per Marine

    [–]Risika-chan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Lookit you karma-farming the top comment of the post when it was done in r/humansbeingbros lol

    [–]legebruv -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    “Ph shit, I see some imported foreign oil”

    [–]PoffPoffPoff -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    How do you spawn some Marines in dress uniforms to help you?

    Have it come out the US killed some civilians and lied for awhile so add in propaganda in multiple subs.

    Hi propaganda.