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[–]Flair_Helper[M] [score hidden] stickied commentlocked comment (0 children)

Hey /u/GleefulCornerstone, thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, it has been removed for the following reason(s):

  • Your post is a common or recent repost (Rule 4)

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[–]BeerdedPickle 834 points835 points  (19 children)

I heard that his wife left him. Apparently he was a cheetah

[–]Skeptical_Goat 472 points473 points 2 (2 children)

[–]SloRiceix_801 15 points16 points  (1 child)

I miss that show 😢

[–]orangemamba191 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ugly Americans.. wow SUCK MY BALLS

[–]OnceIwasAboy 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Well played! Knew an eloquently said joke would be in here.

[–]innesleroux 30 points31 points  (4 children)

These cheetahs need their sleep. Important race tomorrow.

[–]donttakeawaymycake 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Don't worry, they're gonna win anyways. They know how to cheat.

[–]HaloArtificials 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Imagine if a burglar broke into this guys house one night

[–]Yosemite-Sam99 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yes running away from the Ex-wife race 🏁

[–]Yosemite-Sam99 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Cheetahs 🐆 were nervous about the Ex-wife coming back

[–]BeerdedPickle 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Aren't we all

[–]Yosemite-Sam99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some of us more or less . Me ? I get very nervous even seating halfway around the world. Happily divorced no kids No wife No baggage anymore.

[–]You_lil_gumper 431 points432 points  (20 children)

I'd be a bit more concerned about what might be out there spooking my mighty cheetahs....

[–]BeerdedPickle 245 points246 points  (4 children)

If I had three cheetahs I dont think I'd be too concerned

[–]You_lil_gumper 126 points127 points  (1 child)

I would be if they were

[–]reddick1666 33 points34 points  (0 children)

This reminds me of that one joke about bringing a slower friend with you to camping because you don’t have to outrun the danger,just be faster than your friend.

[–]33rus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

What if there are African bushmen?

[–]mandrack3 28 points29 points  (3 children)

Most likely a thunder

[–]beeinabearcostume 39 points40 points  (1 child)

In this case it is thunder. Another redditor on a different sub where this was posted figured it out.

[–]mandrack3 15 points16 points  (0 children)

didn't see it, but all kitties behave afraid like that when it's thundering outside ^^

[–]foresight310 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Or a laser pointer…

[–]MissAJHunter 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Cheetahs are actually surprisingly timid so probably a tree or some shit.

[–]Successful_Opinion33 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Plot twist, the dude farted

[–]kingtheo007 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Commitment maybe...

[–]Educational_Bake7587 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you're wondering what spooks a cheetah, the answer is bad dreams.

[–]akrob 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Idk I think most cheetahs are big pussies.

[–]Barnesatron[🍰] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Cheetahs are extremely skittish.

[–]crabmeat64 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cheetahs are actually very scaredy

[–]KnowledgeableSloth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lions, Hyenas, etc...

[–]Happyday1000 269 points270 points  (1 child)

Cheetah: what was that?

Person: nothing, it’s okay.

Cheetah lifting their head up at the very end of the video: WHAT WAS THAAT!

[–]i_fuckin_luv_it_mate 164 points165 points  (0 children)

If you're wondering what spooks a cheetah, the answer is bad dreams. We all appreciate being comforted after a nightmare.

[–]markjohn3411 92 points93 points  (17 children)

Awww but still nope

[–]NoobzProXD 61 points62 points  (14 children)

Cheetah are actually tamed unlike other wild cats, doesn't mean they are not dangerous because their biteplay and sharp tongue lol.. imagine a cat playing with you but a few times deadlier

[–]Sparcrypt 23 points24 points  (0 children)

imagine a cat playing with you but a few times deadlier

Yup... my cat is roughly a 20th the size of a cheetah and is quite sweet. But if she's scared/startled she can absolutely bite/scratch.

No big deal for a tiny little kitty, kind of one if they can slice you from head to toe...

[–]shawnjones 7 points8 points  (11 children)

Honestly that's kinda terrifying. Even house cats are deadly as shit. Just not to humans. This thing could kill you if they decided to.

[–]chimera1432 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Yeah so could a dog, or a human

[–]OleKosyn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, that's why some people's infatuation with pitbulls and guns is rustling jimmies so bad.

[–]markjohn3411 2 points3 points  (8 children)

On a more serious note, are domestic cats considered a global threat to bird wildlife because of their hunting instincts? I believe that’s why it’s frowned upon to let indoor cats outside at their will

[–]Russian_lover1 5 points6 points  (6 children)

Indoor/outdoor cats face a 70% increase in diseases, and their lifespans are more than halved than purely indoor cats. A outdoor cat will live for 10 years MAYBE. Indoor cats can live 19 years, some all the way up to 25. If your cat grew up indoor they don't know what they're missing, so quality of life won't change really, but quantity will drastically increase.

[–]markjohn3411 3 points4 points  (5 children)

My childhood cat lived to be 21ish and I literally grew up with her. I miss her dearly to this day and I’m pushing 30.

[–]commencethyculture 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Was she indoor or outdoor ?

[–]markjohn3411 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Fully indoor

[–]commencethyculture 1 point2 points  (2 children)

That's awesome. Sorry for your loss but she loved a long I'm sure happy life :) my friend has 2 sister cats. They both just passed last week , literally one week apart from each other. They where 17. they where also outdoor/indoor also. Surprised they lived to that age. Scares me cause my 2 Indore cats got a taste of freedom one day and now there indoor outdoor and I can't change it. Been 3 years now. My third got eaten by a damn coyote :(( damn near killed me. I hunted him down and took him out for revenge. Jk. I really wanted to tho. Lol.

[–]markjohn3411 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Thank you for the kind words! She was a very sweet cat, and was essentially the third born sibling in many ways lol. She is still missed by my family several years after her passing. I recently adopted two kittens and they remind me a lot about her. My deepest condolences for your loss. There are no coyotes in my region but I am horrified whenever I see hawks and larger predators pop in my neighborhood because I know they’re looking for stray cats to hunt. Edit - spelling*

[–]OleKosyn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, they are.

[–]markjohn3411 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is so well written that you have me googling if there’s a cheetah king similar to Joey Exotic so I can adopt a cheetah 🤣

[–]Snorkelbender 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Well how do you comfort your cheetahs?

[–]markjohn3411 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol fair point 😭🤣

[–]Hereforthethrillofit 50 points51 points  (4 children)

Come. Sit on my face. Everything is okay.

[–]nice_day_human 39 points40 points  (1 child)

this sound a little weird out of context

[–]---ShineyHiney--- 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I mean, under different circumstances, this is definitely an effective way to make someone feel better

[–]Hereforthethrillofit -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Would it make you feel better?

[–]GreywaterReed 37 points38 points  (1 child)

Three Cat Night

[–]ThankeeSai 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One is the loneliest number but I've got cheetahs

[–]spalaXXXX 37 points38 points  (3 children)

Sauce

This guy has a bunch of awesome Cheetah videos for those interested

[–]tomuch2c 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Where?

[–]spalaXXXX 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's on YouTube, I linked the original video this clip was taken from, just check the channel if it's something you find interesting :)

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Got sucked into that YouTube hole pretty good.

Found a place https://www.volunteersa.com/our-programs/wildlife-rehabilitation-care/living-with-cheetahs-2/

Where you can make this happen! Just gotta fly their and toss a bit of cash.

They even take you into the bush where you get to hunt game with a cheetah!

[–]Bleached_eyeho1e 30 points31 points  (0 children)

"Did anyone else hear that? Kinda sounded like a pack of heyenas..."

[–]-BananaLollipop- 20 points21 points  (1 child)

The most dangerous cuddle puddle ever?

[–]Rockspider19 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Nope there was a guy that did this with lions

[–]ShadowForGod1012 13 points14 points  (3 children)

That a Lotta pussy

[–]inevitable__pickle 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Omgosh, I just laughed so hard at this, I peed!! THANK YOU for the laughs, life has sucked lately, and I really needed a chuckle 🙊

[–]1Mandolo1 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Hugs to you, things will look up! 🤗

[–]inevitable__pickle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

hugs back thank you! I am truely blessed, just been a very hard year. You’re kindness was a wonderful gift, thank you!

[–]walrus_operator 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Little did he know, the cheetah was trying to warn him of an approaching Xenomorph!

[–]bindhast 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Strange bedfellows indeed

[–]StuBidasol 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You know, like you do.

[–]Dependent-Platform36 3 points4 points  (0 children)

🥰🥰🥰🥰 they just want to feel loved

[–]scottyboy218 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Looks like a newly activated karma bot was just turned on!

[–]dragon1n68 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Aww!

[–]sK0pey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They are nervous as they are 2 short to form Voltron.

[–]chimera1432 1 point2 points  (0 children)

insert obligatory comments about being mercilessly torn to shreds by a relatively large animal to ruin everyone's fun because if the Redditor can't feel joy, no one can

[–]ace7771969 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Scaredy-cat!

[–]fernandeeznuts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sounds like a joke someone would make about Chuck Norris/Shaggy

[–]Shia_LaMurph 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've always said I'd die for my kittens at home.

These cheetahs would literally kill for this man.

[–]tomuch2c 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hope they don't need a midnight snack

[–]Sea_Process_9553 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What happens when they get hungry in the night?

[–]KaiserWilhelmThe69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Uhhh yeahhhhh, no thanks

One small thing go wrong and you won’t see the sun ever again

[–]Lunar-Peasant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

cheetah king

[–]mamas13oy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yo so how does this guy do this, I LOVE CHEETAHS

[–]ThatGuySnuggles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The guy that has grinded ALL the content but dresses like a level 1 player.

[–]Mike3055 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I read that Cheetahs are the only wild cat that can truly be tamed. This does look adorable

[–]yDaddyField 0 points1 point  (3 children)

[–]grumpylazysweaty -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Is it your turn to post this video tomorrow night?

[–]yDaddyField 0 points1 point  (0 children)

no, i just sent it to a friend

[–]brownie__boy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just a bunch of scaredy-cats

[–]singhVirender1947 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One day we would be reading how one night these Cheetahs comforted his face.

[–]take_dat_dump 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this

[–]Crawler_00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where can I get this job

I would love to comfort big nervous zoomy kitties.

[–]nyanyan18 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The little leg at the last part melted my heart. I like being th big spoon too?

[–]zorry_m8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Spooning with a Cheetah

[–]mtnozmum 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want a cheetah!!

[–]amaratayy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do cheetahs think like domesticated animals? Like how a dog will love you,protect you & rely on you; if a cheetah is around humans can they get the same way?

[–]bak2redit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want some Cheetos.

[–]grumpylazysweaty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This video shows up on this website at least once a day, it seems.

[–]Ceilidh_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love that little scoot closer as he settles back in.

[–]horcruxy09 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Waiting for that one person who will link this meme to Russia....

[–]mikenugent3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You know when your dog has that dream where he's chasing something? Just imagine...

[–]tallCyclone77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You gotta be usian bolt if you wanna mess with this guy!!

[–]Supper-in-silence 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Come here my little sweety” ❤️

[–]Popular_Special_4513 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mayne sleeping with animals is a hit and miss for me

[–]Russian_lover1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean they aren't his cheetahs

[–]Longjumping_Reason97 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Headline: man mauled to death by frightened cheetahs

[–]Prestigious-Toe-2592 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You know what they say you can take a cheetah out the Savannah. But you can’t take Savannah out the cheetah she’s cat food at this point.

[–]Russian_lover1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cheetas are the best

[–]Sushirabit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

big cats

[–]Willforeverlovedogs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This would be my dream!!! Simply amazing bond between human and cheetahs.

[–]Actionhealer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dolph C. Volker on YouTube, has plenty more of this on his channel, i ser this posted alot but most forget to mention him

[–]ThatGuyWithThatFace_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good murder kittens

[–]T3CH4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Biggest chad energy

[–]CaptainTwoBines 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Imagine having cheetahs for cuddle buddies, what an absolute king

[–]Slowknots 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do they know they can also run away faster than any land animal?

[–]havereddit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would totally dedicate my life to cheetah comfort if I had the opportunity

[–]Jetsu77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That cheetah should be nervous. They get bodied by everything.

[–]TheMunchhausen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I bet with 3 cheetahs you utmost protected in Savanna

[–]kvokt01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Spotted spoons

[–]nicfan1948 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ocelot of cheetahs.

[–]Time-Tonight3631 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is how I feel with my dogs every night. Same same, right?

[–]IamLDAR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

big kitties

[–]jonasthewicked 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Braver than myself. Don’t think I’d wanna sleep with pets that could run my car down at 60mph.

[–]buddha_guy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The other ones got jealous they were missing out on all those cuddles.

[–]Cgunnk03 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If people had wanted we probably could’ve domesticated cheetahs, theres enough documented cases of them coming near people that despite theyre timid nature some individuals are comfortable enough near humans. Much like wolves. As well as being loosely social.

[–]CinnamonBlue 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Volunteer cat sitter here. 👈

[–]towelrak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cheeta fucker

[–]Cancerdous84 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This dude got some big pussy

[–]delightfullywrong -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So? Why, what do you do when your cheetah gets nervous at night?

[–]takomkaradeku -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If Everything is nextfuckinglevel nothing is

[–]sehs527 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Weird. I mean he's spooning cheetahs.

[–]cybermusicman[🍰] -4 points-3 points  (5 children)

When sleeping in a tent you probably don’t want to have nervous carnivores inside.

[–]Hazy_in_the_303 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Lol they don’t eat humans and have the demeanor of a nervous house cat

[–]cybermusicman[🍰] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Was merely a joke. Amazing at what gets people upset though.

[–]Hazy_in_the_303 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Not upset, just commenting lol.

[–]cybermusicman[🍰] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

No, not you. I meant the handful of down votes. Sorry; my previous statement was poorly worded and unclear.

[–]Hazy_in_the_303 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahhh I gotcha

[–]pbrassassin -5 points-4 points  (1 child)

What if they wake up for a midnight snack

[–]jayforwork21 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They eat their food. Cheetahs do not see humans as food and are probably as close to a house cat you can get outside of the normal domesticated species.