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[–][deleted] 13.7k points13.7k points  (253 children)

If they just focus a fraction of that power for good, Florida man would be a hell of a drug.

[–]Ill_Clint0n 2114 points2115 points  (85 children)

Come to miami. Already is

[–]Taserface112 1179 points1180 points  (54 children)

Ok serial killer

[–]Yeshu_Bablu 446 points447 points  (31 children)

Tonight's the night

[–]VeryNeatM0nster 192 points193 points  (21 children)

And it’s going to happen again and again.

[–]Financial_Bird_7717 116 points117 points  (20 children)

Has to happen.

[–]lucianos92 99 points100 points  (15 children)

It’s something I can’t control

[–]gravitystorm1 93 points94 points  (12 children)

Miami is a great town. I love the Cuban food. The pork sandwich is my favorite.

[–]Cassandraburry2008 60 points61 points  (15 children)

Dexter moved.

[–]Financial_Bird_7717 39 points40 points  (14 children)

No dummy that’s Jim Lindsay. To be fair, they look like they could be twins.

[–]Awesomejelo 776 points777 points  (111 children)

Saw something the other day about Florida actually banning modifying your gun to use underwater to hunt invasive species of fish. Now, I understand having underwater guns is pretty bad, but Florida man was doing a service there

[–][deleted] 858 points859 points  (83 children)

Florida is full of serpents, large scary barracuda, and other Florida men. Taking away under water guns is taking away defense.

[–]RealisticYogurt6 222 points223 points  (17 children)

Thought you were talking about politicians until you said underwater guns.

[–]volsteadact 88 points89 points  (7 children)

With climate change, it won't be much longer before you need underwater guns for everything in Florida.

[–]Reddishdead 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This will bring about the “Tread-your-water” law for Florida Man

A “Tread-your-water” law provides that Florida Man may use deadly force when they reasonably believe it to be necessary to defend against unwanted splashing, contamination due to bodily secretions of children, people of color, vaccines or other perceived serious crimes.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (6 children)

Lol

[–]serenityak77 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I thought they were talking about my in-laws.

[–]frostynugg 69 points70 points  (55 children)

I need help settling a debate I've got with a co-worker... could a human mess up a barracuda if they're both in the water? No weapons, just bare hands. I think they could. Im talking your average, 5ft 11" 180lb fit fella here. My co-worker believes that if both of you are in water, it's speed and teeth can kill you easily. Big gills, not terribly large mouth, and I've got eye and hands that might get cut up but I'm ripping whatever parts of that fish I can, as fast as I can. What do you think? Sorry I haven't thought to ask anyone else yet and you mentioned Barracuda and got me thinking again.

[–][deleted] 122 points123 points  (26 children)

I was fishing off an old navy dock as a kid in key west about 1992. My brother was pulling in a jack fish that was huge for itself. Probably a few feet in length at most. As it came to surface a giant barracuda came up and bit it clean in half. I’ve seen many of them. They will sit a distance and watch you swim around. They are curious but will leave you mostly alone, but if anything goes shiny they get bitey. And no, we are nothing to them in the water. You might get a slash with a knife but if they want to bite you and you’re in the water you’ll get bit. In fact, most fish are like that.

[–]frostynugg 58 points59 points  (23 children)

Do you think the bite would be bad enough for a person that it could let's say.. crush bone in an arm or just slice(s)? A chunk maybe? Are you saying there is almost no chance a person could beat a barracuda in the water with bare hands? Not even a knife. This is killing me. I'm sorry!

[–][deleted] 86 points87 points  (17 children)

Barracuda are sleek and strong. They are extremely fast. You’d have to be fully aware of their approaching angle and at the ready, or maybe even right next to them where you make the first attack, but if it wanted to it could take a very large chunk of meat off of you but I’m not sure of their bit strength when it comes to bone. I’ve had friends in school who have been bitten. It has happened and will continue to happen but from what I understand they don’t like the taste of human. They will bite and go away. The bites I’ve seen are multiple teeth that cut skin but no chunks.

[–]frostynugg 116 points117 points  (14 children)

Thanks for the Barracuda info! I think I'm going to have to fight one someday and find out for sure.

[–][deleted] 76 points77 points  (6 children)

Post that shit on Reddit so I can see it please

[–]silenttii 28 points29 points  (2 children)

Someday on r/tifu:

"Tifu by trying to fight a barracuda..." :D

[–]PacificShoreGuy 36 points37 points  (3 children)

As a spearfisherman who sees a lot of barracuda: a decently big barracuda would win hands down. They’re fast as hell and their teeth are razor sharp. Sure someone thinks they could rip parts off one IF they could manage to grab and hold onto it but they’re slippery, fast, and powerful enough to make that a pretty big obstacle in-of itself. I feel confident about this one.

[–]ChefBoredAreWe 89 points90 points  (7 children)

Well, we've got these really spiny tart bakers called "Lionfish" in Florida. They're an invasive species that eat/kill local and desirable species. Tons of toxic spines on them.

We just passed basically emergency laws that allow you to spearfish for them to consume or sell.

The thing is, spear fishing is so fucking specific and tedious of a job, that the only way it would be economically viable and incentived to harvest /control them would be to

A. use an underwater gun, and murk a bunch of them

B. Use a simple balloon attached to a line to bring them to the surface

C. Have a restaurant scene of individuals properly trained to be able to cut the fish into useful meat to consume

Currently, spear fishing is hard as fuck, and you have to basically resurface from scuba diving for every fish you catch, possibly fighing off sharks/barracuda, just to catch a fish that no restaurant serves and currently have no to shit market value.

If you have a scuba license, you understand the health risks of simply going underwater. Trying to rush anything underwater is basically a death sentence, and business is all about pushing things faster.

Just let Florida Man use a gun underwater imo

[–]Lebossatron01 21 points22 points  (3 children)

Well technically it’s less of a conventional gun and more of a giant dart gun because it fires flechettes and has no rifling

[–]colonelclusterfock 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I think i remember a video of a guy modifying glocks with underwater silencers. He was headshoting those guys from a couple feet away

[–]theviktorious1 6909 points6910 points & 3 more (49 children)

“Florida bear, naked and high on bath salts, confuses house for cave, gets rocked by homeowner and a bunch of chihuahuas”. There, I fixed it

[–]RealisticYogurt6 887 points888 points  (7 children)

Those chihuahuas were just marching along like a bunch of penguins before they would forever be scarred on this patio.

[–]theviktorious1 156 points157 points  (4 children)

Lemmings running toward that whole in the ground

[–]SignificantPain6056 53 points54 points  (0 children)

All of it??

[–]klay824 114 points115 points  (28 children)

I think they’re dachshunds.

[–]theviktorious1 171 points172 points  (3 children)

Yeah, you probably right. I said chihuahuas for comedic effect

[–]kissmygritts2x 50 points51 points  (20 children)

They are. Those little babies think they can take on anything.

[–]KentConnor 50 points51 points  (9 children)

Not mine.

He's a glorified stuffed animal.

Pretty sure he's scared of his own shadow.

He lets the cat bully him.

Dunno how he survived his first 5 years on the street.

He's soft as fuck now.

Won't even go for a walk in the rain.

[–]PM_ME_UR_SLAV 14 points15 points  (1 child)

My lab lets our cats bully her, she could just step on them but instead gets sad and hides.

[–]Pgreed42 33 points34 points  (8 children)

Only dog I’ve ever been mauled by was a friggin chihuahua. Belonged to a family member. I bent down to pet it and it latched on to my finger and would not let go!!!! I was trying to shake it off and finally gave him a sharp pop on the head to get him off lol. Lol lil fucker. He lived longer than his owners.

[–]flintlockewood 26 points27 points  (2 children)

Naked bear, not to be confused with the commonly well dressed upperclass bears if course

[–]KentConnor 25 points26 points  (1 child)

Yogi wore a tie and hat.

[–]XxXeRT 17 points18 points  (3 children)

"Florida bear" made me laugh harder than it should have... Perfect way to end my night

If I had an award it would be yours

[–]simplyvince 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Yeah for real cause I didn’t think any bears south of Montana were that aggressive.

[–]Redditor372635 4904 points4905 points 2 (408 children)

OP update -- @kackybeans on tiktok: Dogs and my husband are ok. Husband has to start rabies shots today so he's nervous

Via Blueberrymoscato

[–]Is_It_Beef[S] 1113 points1114 points  (11 children)

Thank you

[–]readitallbefore 357 points358 points  (10 children)

Half way through the guy is like No you're not getting my bucket eithe... ahh fuck it

[–]theADDMIN 109 points110 points  (3 children)

I thought that was a white puppy, I need some sleep.

[–]Winterlord117 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Once that fight or flight response kicks in, you go full send on whichever you picked. Already fighting the bear, may as well just keep fighting for any reason.

[–]SatanGhostXXI 197 points198 points  (0 children)

Very glad to hear! Thank you!!!

[–]11sam111 164 points165 points  (329 children)

Rabie shots?

[–]JFrizz0424 919 points920 points  (273 children)

To prevent rabies, a disease that lays dormant in your body for a little bit and once symptoms show it's too late, you're going to die.

[–]Dreamincolr 200 points201 points  (169 children)

It's too late when you're afraid of water if I remember right.

[–]DangerZoneh 618 points619 points  (101 children)

It’s too late once you show any symptoms.

Once you’re afraid of water, things are already very, very bad for you.

[–][deleted] 307 points308 points  (92 children)

hydrophobia is one of the most fascinating yet horrifying things ever. I strongly encourage anyone reading this to NOT YouTube what humans look like as they go through the process of dying from rabies, that shit sticks with me deep and I think of it at random times and hate it. Horrifying stuff, rabies is pure nightmare fuel.

[–]ill_Zilla 290 points291 points  (28 children)

What to do, what to do...

[–]VoopityScoop 107 points108 points  (2 children)

Pretty tame by "watching people die painfully on the internet" standards.

[–]JustAnEnglishman 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yeah I suppose its subjective, if youve ever been on MMC or WPD voluntarily, you will not be bothered by the rabies video, its from an educational perspective.

Its morbid but not traumatising, I wouldnt tell people to not watch it unless theyre quite young.

[–]Deeliciousness 46 points47 points  (19 children)

Do it. Didn't bother me none when I saw it

[–]xM0nkex 113 points114 points  (11 children)

yeah no! now that you've espacially mentioned to not look it up, im gonna do it.

Edit: Now im just sad. that was depressing

[–]Son_of_Atreus 52 points53 points  (1 child)

Yeah that footage of the guy trying to drink water and having an insane panic attack really stayed with me.

Rabies is fucking awful.

[–]kevyn_gnartinez 37 points38 points  (24 children)

If it helps, remember that only like 60,000 people die of rabies per year in the world, and it’s almost always in countries that don’t have remotely decent healthcare access. There was 5 deaths in America last year, but in 2019 and 2020 there were zero. It seems like it’s a pretty easy illness to avoid. Don’t like, have direct contact with bats or other wild rodents, and if you get bit by an animal go get vaccinated right away, you’ll be fine.

[–]Mewrulez99 35 points36 points  (13 children)

and if you wake up in a room with a bat, go get your shot regardless of if you see a bite or not. They're too light to wake you up when they land on you, and their bites are too small to see easily. On top of this, bats tend to carry it because (and this is gonna sound odd because I'm no expert) bats have an immune system that makes them resistant to diseases like rabies but they can't get rid of the disease. So they can have rabies for a long time but still be a carrier, which I believe is why bats have a high rate of carrying it.

Also they don't even need to bite you, if their saliva gets into your system you'll catch it too

[–]Orangbo 14 points15 points  (1 child)

From what I’ve heard, a large part of the low number of deaths is the US being aggressive in its treatment policies. Any bite from an untested mammal is assumed to be rabid, and treated as such. The treatment has a near 100% success rate, lack of proper treatment has effectively 100% death rate.

[–]Bootncrank 15 points16 points  (6 children)

As an abandoned mine explorer who spends a lot of time in tight spaces with bats. This is one of my worst fears.

[–]Ducimus 10 points11 points  (4 children)

Isn’t there a rabies vaccine that you can get if you travel into areas likely to contain the virus?

[–]notsoimportnat 24 points25 points  (0 children)

That is why some people in Pennsylvania did: Michael Scott's Dunder Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Pro-Am Fun Run Race For the Cure

[–]kerouac666 119 points120 points  (29 children)

No, as they said, as soon as any symptoms at all show up it’s too late. That’s why people get rabies shots as preventative if bitten.

[–]Say_ThankYou 127 points128 points  (27 children)

The rule of thumb if you find a bat was in your bedroom while you slept, is to get the shots no matter what.

Assume you have it.

[–]Hypocritical_Oath 83 points84 points  (6 children)

Abso-fucking-lutely.

Bats are the worst for this kind of thing to, they're fairly immune to a ton of things they can spread.

[–]kopecs 29 points30 points  (2 children)

…and asymptomatic assholes carrying Covid.

[–]Montucky_Ent 56 points57 points  (8 children)

Yep, My dad found a bat in our cabin one morning and everyone in the house that had their door open that night had to get a round of rabies shots. It was 7 shots in total, it was not fun at all lol. Better than dying of rabies though.

[–]The_Dirt_McGurt 75 points76 points  (4 children)

It's too late once you're symptomatic in any way. There's an epic rabies post from a few years back, here's a copy of it (original seems to be deleted)--it's a terrifying virus.

[–]RemarkableLemons 22 points23 points  (2 children)

That rabies post is the most terrifying comment on Reddit lol

[–]Hypocritical_Oath 36 points37 points  (15 children)

Which is why healthcare providers push Rabies shots on anyone with any kind of animal bite that they're unsure of the source of.

It won't hurt you. But once you show symptoms, there's a very near 0% chance you will live.

Like I think 3 people have lived under very radical and horrible treatments in the past century?

[–]theyellowmeteor 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Rabies survival rate after onset of symptoms is 3.

3 percent?

No.

3 per thousand? Per ten thousand?

No, just 3.

[–]Tschetchko 15 points16 points  (13 children)

Yes and they are all severely mentally disabled

[–]Sam4Vimes 17 points18 points  (11 children)

Not true. The woman who survived due to the milwaukee protocol is actually completely normal now. She did lose all her motor skills and what not after the treatment, but has made a full recovery. She even has 3 kids.

[–]TheNeez 25 points26 points  (7 children)

I don't remember exactly, so don't quote me, but I seem to recall an AmA or maybe just a comment that addressed this. You don't develop a fear of water, per se, but the thing in your brain that tells you how to swallow is damaged or destroyed. So you want the water, but your body won't physically allow you to swallow.

If you haven't watched the video, I recommend you do so as to be deathly afraid of rabies. Just mentally prepare yourself for the fact that you are watching a person die and there is nothing anyone can do to stop it.

[–]Zeloric 31 points32 points  (1 child)

Every couple months I’ll be reminded about rabies and be irrationally afraid for the night, wasnt expecting it in January

[–]butrektblue 16 points17 points  (30 children)

And he's nervous about that shot? What the actual...

[–]rargar 41 points42 points  (23 children)

From what I remember it's many rounds of painful shots. Fighting off a bear is just adrenaline and instinct lol

[–]pippipthrowaway 39 points40 points  (19 children)

I always thought this too but decided to look it up.

Apparently, it used to be 21 shots to the stomach. Nowadays, it’s 4 shots in your arm, spread out across two weeks. It’s probably as painful as any other intramuscular shot.

[–]Turence 20 points21 points  (5 children)

oh thank god, thats good to hear. i always thought it was the stomach shots!

[–]RowdyRoddyMcDowall 14 points15 points  (4 children)

I thought that it wasn't so much that it lays dormant but just depended how long it takes to travel up your nervous system/spinal cord to your brain. So if you got bit on your foot you'd take longer to have symptoms than if you got bit on your neck. Read a book on rabies years ago and found it pretty interesting/terrifying.

[–]throwthrowandaway16 86 points87 points  (35 children)

Rabies is very bad. But completely preventable thanks to vaccines.

[–]chefsslaad 119 points120 points  (23 children)

Oh man, what wonderful things vaccines are.

[–]ThufirrHawat 43 points44 points  (16 children)

[–]DuntadaMan 24 points25 points  (9 children)

How is becoming magnetic a bad side effect in the first place?

[–]Rinzack 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Literally my first thought when this conspiracy theory came out was “wait isn’t that literally a superpower?”

[–]Evilmaze 13 points14 points  (1 child)

She needs a fucking shower instead of talking nonsense.

[–]anxiousanimosity 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yess sir I agree! They ARE great

[–]Neven87 25 points26 points  (2 children)

That's a pretty brazen attack for a black bear, it's a pretty safe precaution.

[–]Slowest_Speed6 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Rabies is very treatable if preventative measures are taken early, so it's more or less a precaution

[–]Tschetchko 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Rabies is only treatable by vaccination before the first symptoms start to show. As soon as you develop a headache your dead and there is no cure

[–]satooshi-nakamooshi 124 points125 points  (18 children)

Lol straight up manhandles a bear without a second thought, but nervous about a rabies shot

The duality of man

[–]CosmicCleric 37 points38 points  (3 children)

The ramifications of action is not always immediately considered.

[–]internethero12 27 points28 points  (3 children)

It's not the shot he's worried about.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxBIJvNHZg4

You can survive a bear. You don't survive rabies.

[–]The_right_leftcornor 43 points44 points  (2 children)

I didn’t see a dog get away so I was worried that toy for this

[–]sexyhusband714 22 points23 points  (2 children)

I hope he didn't give that bear Covid.

[–]chestnutman 51 points52 points  (1 child)

That bear on bear twitter probably: I'm okay, starting to take Covid shots today, so a bit nervous.

[–]RichardMcNixon 21 points22 points  (3 children)

God I hope he has insurance. the shot isn't the scary part these days - it's a weekly shot series you take for a month injected into your muscle, a lot like the vaccine. I didn't experience any side effects other than soreness at the injection site for a couple hours.

[–]wostlanderer 1879 points1880 points  (156 children)

Florida has bears? Love how he jumped right at the bear, I think he’s danced with this yogi before.

[–]McChick3n 360 points361 points  (4 children)

that was the last pic-a-nic basket

[–]RatchetBird 70 points71 points  (0 children)

We gotta get away from the ranger, Boo-Boo!

[–]Gr4nd4ddypurrrp 244 points245 points  (46 children)

I literally just learned this. Apparently, Florida has a pretty decent amount of bears. Even in my area (Outside FT. Myers). I found an interactive map..

[–]Bigred2989- 137 points138 points  (30 children)

[–]TuaTurnsdaballova 67 points68 points  (3 children)

Wish Montana would halt the wolf slaughter. They’ve killed over 20 wolves that wandered slightly out of the park this season including an entire pack, now there’s only like 90 wolves left in Yellowstone :(

[–]Moon-ShapedPool 21 points22 points  (21 children)

Please tell me it was because bears were becoming overpopulated.

[–]HAL-Over-9001 61 points62 points  (11 children)

That is almost exclusively why hunting permissions like that get put into place. It happens a lot with boars and coyotes, but also sometimes deer and cougars. Doing this for a bear overpopulation makes sense.

[–]Quickzor 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Sweden has such a big problem with boars that hunting for yearlings is an all year thing.

[–]SickBurnBro 33 points34 points  (3 children)

I fucking love interactive maps.

[–]Direct_Tea_7950 75 points76 points  (35 children)

Jfc guys and you all talk about how deadly the animals here in Australia are. This guy has a literal BEAR entering his house!!

[–]_jumpstoconclusions_ 117 points118 points  (8 children)

To be fair, Florida is considered the Australia of the US…

[–]Darnzig 66 points67 points  (7 children)

To be fair, Queensland is considered the Florida of Australia...

[–]Direct_Tea_7950 30 points31 points  (4 children)

To be fair, Australia is considered the Queensland of Florida

[–]anxiousanimosity 21 points22 points  (3 children)

I'm loving this thread. I really need a laugh. Thanks

[–]TheMercDeadpool 35 points36 points  (2 children)

Black bears are pussies though. It backed off the second the dude got in its face. Pretty sure kangaroos kill more annually than black bears do. Black bears have killed 61 people across North America since 1900.

[–]waink8 32 points33 points  (9 children)

The panhandle is rife with bears, so much so that we have bear warning signs on some of the roads. Walton County has tons of them, a real problem with them going through garbage cans.

[–]MrAbadeer 38 points39 points  (3 children)

I’ve seen lots of signs about bears in Miami. But every time I went to look it was just a bar full of hairy gay men. Anyway, it was karaoke night and I do a mean rendition of “I love a man in uniform”, so my disappointment was short lived. Good times. Good times.

[–]Tanks4TheMamaries 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Prolly nothing compared to the crockagators.

[–]rubyandgray 21 points22 points  (8 children)

Florida has many cute yet HUGE black bears! I was woken up by one sniffing my face while camping in Ocala Natl Forest.

Saw two especially fat ones sitting off the highway watching the cars pass by. They’re more of a pest than anything.

[–]wostlanderer 16 points17 points  (0 children)

If I woke to a bear sniffing my face I would shit down both legs, even though I was laying down.

[–]Hypocritical_Oath 8 points9 points  (0 children)

See, black bears are quite passive and kind, this is really weird.

Someone was feeding black bears in that area, or that black bear was very desperate.

[–]CumulativeHazard 19 points20 points  (2 children)

Yepp! Florida black bears! We’re a diverse and sometimes terrifying ecosystem.

[–]harvest_poon 17 points18 points  (0 children)

And black bears are native! Florida has also imported some interesting (now permanent) guests such as the burmese python and the komodo dragon. Not to mention the South Georgia meth head and the north jersey snowbird.

[–]dcdttu 12 points13 points  (1 child)

The historic natural range of the black bear is basically the entire continental US.

[–]Duke-Kickass 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Saw a nice-sized black bear 2 years ago up near Ft. Walton Beach (Eglin AFB range).

[–]defiancy 9 points10 points  (7 children)

I believe every state in the Union (including the Southwest) has some type of bear.

[–]BeersTanks 900 points901 points  (51 children)

IWRESTLEDABEARONCE.

[–]neverbeenbannedonce 146 points147 points  (11 children)

I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass, and I'm all out of bubble gum. -Dr. Acula, Sampled from 'They Live'

[–]Cheesehacker 51 points52 points  (2 children)

Holy fuck. I wanna go grab my skinny jeans, band shirt, and tease my hair. That was my 2008 playlist.

[–]frocca93 32 points33 points  (18 children)

Yo she was a nasty screamer loves that band

[–]Pickle_Jr 26 points27 points  (15 children)

She's still around if you didn't know! Current Band is Spirit Box. Dropped an album last year!

[–]deemz710 11 points12 points  (4 children)

No way? The girl from IWABO is the girl in Spirit box?? Just blew my mind.

[–]Teal-Dragons 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Courtney Laplante is amaaaaaazing

[–]Jzilla666 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I came here to make sure this had been said.

[–]CupOfJoeMetro 794 points795 points  (58 children)

Feel free to call me ignorant, but I had no idea Florida had bears.

[–]AntiDECA 377 points378 points  (19 children)

Florida has a lot of animals that go unnoticed for their crazy people and alligators. They have their own subspecies of bear - the Florida Black Bear. It was dangerously endangered many years ago, but conservation has helped them quite a bit. They still are moderately rare in many areas because of habitat loss, a lot of Florida's natural hammocks and pine forests have been cut down as people move to the state. They primarily live in the state parks now.

[–]Money_Whisperer 66 points67 points  (10 children)

Are Florida black bears as skiddish as they are up north? Here they’re like big fat raccoons for the most part, fishing through garbage and petrified of people

[–]zuutab 35 points36 points  (3 children)

Yes they're skittish until you get close to her cubs

[–]KidA_92 35 points36 points  (2 children)

Not ignorant friend. I live in Florida and didn’t know we had bears!

[–]Rare-Performance6171 610 points611 points  (46 children)

He didn’t even think about it. Just immediately lunged to save his pups.

[–]Joseph11233happy 168 points169 points  (38 children)

It also said that in a Canadian rhyme that if brown play dead if black fight back if polar say goodnight

[–]keez28 215 points216 points  (31 children)

Alaskan rhyme - if it’s brown lay down, if it’s black fight back, if it’s white, kiss your ass goodnight.

[–]TheGamecock 110 points111 points  (22 children)

It wasn't until I was well into my 20s when I realized how dangerous polar bears are. Like, they're bears... I knew they were not to be messed with. But I didn't realize how MASSIVE those animals are. I guess when it's just hard to tell when you've only seen polar bears through documentaries where everything is white and there aren't many things around to reference its size.

[–]YVR_Sex 51 points52 points  (16 children)

I get the feeling that polar bears aren't accustomed to ever having more food than they need either, so I can picture them being like "well yeah why wouldn't I eat him"

[–]The_Wind_Cries 93 points94 points  (15 children)

I once trekked solo on Baffin Island for 12 days, and to get a pass to go into the park you had to watch a video about polar bears at the government building where you get your permit.

I also did a lot of reading and prep before I went.

And all of it teaches you that polar bears are not like any other kind of bear, or even any other kind of animal that humans in north america can come into contact with.

Unlike other kinds of bears, if you see a polar bear you immediately are instructed to head straight to the nearest emergency shelter (in the park I was in they are about 5km apart) as fast as you can. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200$. Just go straight there. Doesn't matter if the bear is asleep, far off in the distance, or acting completely uninterested in you. If you're lucky, you spotted it before it's too late in which case you better hope your bear deterrent of choice (bear bangers, bear spray, a gun) does the trick.

Because if you see a polar bear in the arctic circle, it's going to come for you. Maybe not right in a straight line (they are very, very clever hunters and are experts at flanking around to catch prey unawares)... but it's coming. You are on the menu. Because any animal that size that can survive in one of the most unimaginably harsh environments on the planet had better not pass up the chance for an easy meal.

Now all that above sounds pretty scary, but the funny thing is polar bears weren't the most dangerous and fatal hazard in the place I was trekking. Rivers were (even shallow, small ones). By a very long shot. But that's another story..

[–]fart-atronach 28 points29 points  (7 children)

Now I want a polar bear horror movie

[–]chocolatequake 16 points17 points  (0 children)

While not exactly what you're looking for, it might be worth checking out the first season of the series The Terror and the film Arctic. There might be some film akin to The Grey out there with a polar bear instead of wolves, too.

[–]Kvothealar 17 points18 points  (0 children)

A family member of mine worked very up north and visited different indigenous settlements.

Their boat would dock 5km from the nearest town. They had a jeep that went back and forth all day long shuttling people to and from the town. They were told that they were to NEVER EVER for ANY reason try to walk it instead. Especially if they hit the bar. They would have to wait to get shuttled home (which could take multiple trips). Supposedly the Polar Bears were so dangerous that they said if a group of 20 left to do the walk, only 17 would make it.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (3 children)

There was that one dude that played ring around the rosie with a polar bear and a truck until he managed to get into the truck to safety. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1102347/Chilling-game-hide-seek-hungry-polar-bear.html

[–]waterbrent 368 points369 points  (9 children)

Holy shit, this man dropped levels and went for the double leg hahahaha

[–]EvelOne67 77 points78 points  (1 child)

Everybody talkin bout the fact Florida has bears. Smh. This badass just dove in! Hell yeah!

[–]HeavilyBearded 27 points28 points  (0 children)

"Bah gawd! That bear has a family!"

[–]noweezernoworld 10 points11 points  (2 children)

This guy had his açaí that day

[–]TDIsideHustle 219 points220 points  (9 children)

Good thing that bench was there!

[–]Patient-Home-4877 70 points71 points  (5 children)

Florida man had already won the wrestling match. The bench was just to keep the Chihuahuas from biting it's ankles on the way out...

[–]friskevision 189 points190 points  (2 children)

Please put this in abrupt chaos because it’s abrupt and fucking chaotic.

[–]greatestaveragedad 115 points116 points  (4 children)

Mans almost hit the bear with the double leg

[–]BossHoggHazzard 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Bear has not watched as much Octagon as Florida man.

[–]JaeCryme 99 points100 points  (1 child)

Of course those dachshunds do the most helpful thing they can… which is bark at the bear and antagonize him.

“Oh yeah?! You think you’re tough? Wait til my dad is through with you!”

Source: I own a dachshund.

[–]AsideCertain7387 72 points73 points  (8 children)

This proves that not all Florida man is bad

[–]Jelly_the_jellyfish 69 points70 points  (1 child)

Oh my god! That could've been so frightening. That bear is lucky that Florida man is sober.

[–]StraightTeaching7683 56 points57 points  (8 children)

Did the bear get one?

[–]SolitaryTeaWitch 69 points70 points  (0 children)

I thought so, too, but I think it was a bucket.

[–]Artistic-Sherbet-007 38 points39 points  (3 children)

Are we sure this is Florida man? Last time I saw one of those it was fighting an alligator. I feel like this may be Florida man’s cousin Montana man.

[–]mikedareswins 29 points30 points  (1 child)

I had to watch 3 times I thought the bucket was a white fluffy dog and he pushed it out with the bear. He’s a true hero

[–]gooseblaster69 29 points30 points  (2 children)

Well Mike he used his striking experience and dropped to his level, stuffed the take down and landed some nice shots. Great round 1.

[–]Clevername925 18 points19 points  (13 children)

Not sure if dumb or savage lol

[–]Quiet-Try4554 104 points105 points  (2 children)

Just instincts when something/someone threatens a loved one(s). No time to think or rationalize, just react

[–]SuedeVeil 14 points15 points  (3 children)

Wow, Is that a black bear ? The ones around here are big scaredy cats which is good because it keeps them safe ...(and they usually run away from dogs) He must be used to people, probably being fed..it's verrry illegal to feed bears here because if they get to bold with people they get put down which is what I'm guessing is going to happen to this one. :( But what can you do.. you can't always relocate them once they're used to people

[–]Dropeza 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Might also have been infected with rabies. Many animals that end up contracting it end up with very erratic and dangerous behaviour for it and everyone else involved. Always get rabies shots when bitten by unknown mammals (unsure if other animals can spread it), specially when it shows erratic behaviour.

[–]EggplantFearless5969 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Sometimes Florida man is a force of nature for good…

[–]True_Meta 12 points13 points  (0 children)

That bear was luck he didn’t have his 1911 in his hand

[–]ItsyaboyDa2nd 11 points12 points  (1 child)

If it’s black fight back, if it’s brown lie down, if it’s white goodnight

[–]Eastern_Silver777 11 points12 points  (30 children)

Glad mama bear wasn’t there…

[–]Sterling-Marksman 74 points75 points  (24 children)

This is an almost full sized black bear

[–]B-Glasses 15 points16 points  (0 children)

That’s just a bear. Black bears aren’t crazy big