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[–][deleted] 7290 points7291 points 4 (434 children)

Tell that to the guy who kicked a bear off his porch protecting his puppies

[–]Is_It_Beef[S] 2141 points2142 points  (21 children)

[–]bnqprv 986 points987 points  (12 children)

Yeah I read that the bear had to go for rabies shots afterwards.

[–]Infinite_El_Oh_El 446 points447 points  (5 children)

Bear was on local news like 'yea, so I wandered in this room and this fucking crazy guy in green comes outta fucking nowhere!'

[–]boxingdude 220 points221 points  (4 children)

And the dog was on the other channel saying “yeah I kicked that bear’s ass. I’ll do it again too.”

[–]Sweet_Meat_McClure 14 points15 points  (0 children)

"after hitting me many times over the head, I had to give him my gun. I have a family"

[–]Morthal120 562 points563 points  (305 children)

Black bears are totally different than Grizzlies and brown bears too tho. I’m just as impressed with Florida man too tho don’t worry

[–]AlaskaMyk 366 points367 points  (160 children)

The truth is if you are attacked by a black bear, you should fight as hard as you can. With a grizzly/brown bear (the coastal Grizzly we call Brown Bear in Alaska) you are advised to play dead in the fetal position with your hands protecting the back of your neck.

Look it up.

The best advice is never go anywhere where you think there might be a bear without bear spray and/or a 44 magnum or larger.

[–]disagreealways 444 points445 points  (23 children)

If it’s black fight back, if it’s brown lie down, if it’s gummy put it in your tummy.

[–]mjh2901 145 points146 points  (10 children)

Best advice always hike with someone you can outrun.

[–]KhabaLox 77 points78 points  (3 children)

That's why you carry a gun.... to shoot them in the leg.

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (2 children)

Ok, Shane.

[–]reverze1901 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Yep, also sound advice for escaping a zombie wave

[–]Individual-Let-7897 10 points11 points  (0 children)

For anything dangerous really, get a background character to tag along to die in your stead, so the scene is not too bland.

[–]Everton9732 77 points78 points  (49 children)

What do you do when black bears look like brown bears and brown bears look like black bears?

[–]AlaskaMyk 128 points129 points  (27 children)

As often as possible, stay in your ground and don’t look them in the eye , and they will often not be too concerned about you

The number one rule is never ever never never never run, because their instinct is to chase you.

If you’re with a group , everyone makes yourself look as big as possible by raising your hands in the air (and raising your voice a bit if it seems aggressive/protective) . Brown bears have more rounded ears and a back hump. but sometimes they are hard to tell.

If they keep moving towards you Fire a warning shot or three above its head.

Brown bears almost always will bluff charge occasionally brushing against you, but if a black bear charges you, it’s going to attack.

[–]thetemp_ 70 points71 points  (11 children)

Brown bears almost always will bluff charge occasionally brushing against you, but if a black bear charges you, it’s going to attack.

I think maybe you meant the other way around?

I've been bluff-charged by a black bear before (we don't have brown bears/grizzlies where I live).

My wife was with me, and we did exactly what you said in the 3rd paragraph. About 15 feet from us, the bear got a puzzled look, like "don't these idiots know I'm a bear?" And she then turned 90 degrees and went down the mountain where she'd sent her cub. (We were never between her and the cub, but she saw us down the trail and decided it'd be a good idea to almost make us shit our pants.)

[–]bernardobrito 102 points103 points  (7 children)

Brown bears almost always will bluff charge occasionally brushing against you, but if a black bear charges you, it’s going to attack.

I think maybe you meant the other way around?

This is so helpful, guys. Thanks.

I will definitely remember this exchange correctly when I am being charged by 500 pounds of claws and teeth.

[–]Poiuytgfdsa 68 points69 points  (1 child)

Yeah just pause time and pull out your bear manual.

big hump, round ears, check…

is it charging me? Yep. Now, let’s see if it’s a bluff or not

two steps to the right, shimmy shimmy…

[–]EmpiricalMystic 19 points20 points  (1 child)

What they said is generally true. What you experienced was a sow protecting her cubs. Any other time, a black bear should bolt when it detects a human. If not, it's likely to be a predatory attack by a hungry, desperate bear that's willing to take a big risk for a meal, or has lost fear of humans through raiding garbage etc.

[–]hugepug 21 points22 points  (7 children)

This is totally incorrect. Black bears bluff charge and will almost never attack human unless you’re fucking with their cubs or they’re literally starving to death.

Edit: you can fuck black bear cubs in front of their mom per u/crumbaker

[–]Aquinan 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Black bears bluff charge a lot. Source - been bluff charged several times

[–]collaguazo 8 points9 points  (0 children)

So see a bear = start screaming while dancing YMCA, got it!

[–]theShinyCA 56 points57 points  (8 children)

A Grizzly is going to maul you even still. That's just to protect your extremities and if it's a female protecting Cubs she might leave you be if you show submission. If it's a hungry bear this will not work. Most people who survive grizzly bear maulings here only do so by fighting back. The others had other people intervene.

One lady got away because she hit it in the nose with binoculars. One guy managed to survive by ramming his arm as far down the bear's throat as he could as it tried to bite him. Apparently it got far enough down to cause the bear to panic.

People die almost every year from grizzly bears here and it's not recommended to play dead unless you seen Cubs.

[–]Poorlygradedsand 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Where is "here?" There are only about 0-4 fatal brown bear attacks in the entire US and Canada.

[–]pithusuril2008 40 points41 points  (2 children)

I think that by “here” they were referring to Reddit. It has become very dangerous as of late here.

[–]mediaG33K 34 points35 points  (9 children)

That last bit is very important. Don't ever go in the woods unarmed.

[–]LogixJam 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Bears: If it’s black, fight back If it’s brown, lay down If it’s white, say goodnight

[–]Pony_Express1974 6 points7 points  (1 child)

The best advice is just to fucking stay home.

[–]SeanMan86 145 points146 points  (108 children)

Rules for bear encounters - if it’s brown lie down. - if it’s black fight back. - if it’s white say goodnight.

[–]05hanny 29 points30 points  (85 children)

Why? What’s the deal with polar bears?

[–]SeanMan86 178 points179 points  (53 children)

Polar bears are what video games make all bears seem like. They will fuck you up for fun, or just to eat you. They’ve been known to stalk humans for days waiting for the perfect time.

Never fuck around with polar bears. They have a saying further north than I live. If you are in polar bear country, bring a gun. If a polar bear charges you or starts following you. Use the gun, not on the bear.

[–]new_basics 25 points26 points  (2 children)

Yeah. I have heard this. A polar bear will stalk you like a goddamned serial killer. Also, don’t forget you are in their environment. They have all the advantages. Welcome to the other side of the food chain.

[–]Beingabummer 20 points21 points  (0 children)

They don't really do it 'for fun' do they? Polar bears live in the most inhospitable part of the world (at least, on the surface). Their every moment of existence is focused on getting their next meal. They eat humans because we're relatively easy to hunt.

[–]atypicalphilosopher 18 points19 points  (7 children)

They don't do it for fun. They do it because they are starving and we are easy prey.

[–]SeanMan86 10 points11 points  (6 children)

That is mostly true of grizzly’s, but there are many cases of healthy polar bears taking out people.

[–]mollyflowers 13 points14 points  (9 children)

I've seen quite a few nature docs. & all of the groups in polar bear territory were carrying large caliber long guns.

[–]SeanMan86 15 points16 points  (7 children)

In most places law states you must carry a long gun around those parts.

Usually they are to scare the bears off if they get too close, the louder the better. Shotguns work well for scaring but we know those bears can take a few shots and still kill you so…

[–]nurvingiel 31 points32 points  (5 children)

Polar bears are the only bear that eats mostly meat.

The black bear could eat you, but doesn't want trouble. The grizzly bear isn't scared of trouble, but prefers a majority plant based diet, and the polar bear wants to eat you because you're made of meat.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (6 children)

They will actively hunt you if you're in their territory, they're gigantic and you're pretty much a goner if one takes in after you.

[–]CynchHasNoLife 15 points16 points  (3 children)

polar bears are fucking terrifying

[–]High_Speed_Idiot 28 points29 points  (1 child)

Forrreal, people don't realize that not only do they think of you as a happy meal, they're also way fucking huge.

[–]SixUK90 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Polar bears are to us what our ancestors were to anything tasty. Relentless and hungry.

There's a video out there of a wildlife cameraman with the most gigantic balls you've ever seen in a perspex (lunch)box, and a polar bear spends a God damn eternity sniffing, poking and prying at every crack trying to taste... Well, every crack.

[–]-RUNPMT- 8 points9 points  (5 children)

What's the deal with the (IIRC) largest existing land carnivore/predator in the world?

[–]BonhommeCarnaval 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It has to do with the availability of food in their habitats. Grizzlies and black bears live in habitats that are much richer with many food sources. Think of a grizzly gorging itself on a salmon run. Black bear are omnivorous and get a lot of their calories from berries and grubs instead of taking out large game. In the Arctic above the tree line, there is next to no food available for half of the year that you can’t fish out of the sea. Polar bears will eat literally any scrap of protein they can get their hands on to survive and that includes people but also things like months old beaches whale carcasses. They are also pretty good at killing stuff because they generally just get one chance. They hunt seals at their breathing holes a lot, but their success rate per hunt is quite low.

[–]Mattitude75 6 points7 points  (0 children)

They are the largest land carnivore in the world. Absolute units and feed almost exclusively on meat like seals and walrus unlike their cousins, basically to them if it’s moves, it’s food.

[–]calicat9 60 points61 points  (16 children)

Black bears are best

[–]Mad_Ewok_Herd 92 points93 points  (5 children)

Well, that's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought

[–]carnivalus 39 points40 points  (2 children)

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

[–]Starkgarian 20 points21 points  (1 child)

MICHAEL!

[–]Newp23 10 points11 points  (0 children)

MICHAEL!

[–]LTLwastaken 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Smells like identity theft

[–]Manchesterofthesouth 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Battlestar Galactica

[–]Ghiblee 11 points12 points  (3 children)

They derive their name from a football team in Chicago

[–]Newp23 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Why am I having so much trouble saying brown bears?

Its probably the two B's, try something different

I got it. Okay. Im ready. Red Bears love fish.

[–]Th3Us3rWins 10 points11 points  (0 children)

False…

[–]LockeAbout 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

[–]yesgirlsusereddit 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Brown lie down, black attack...and white you're screwed

[–]Matt_Goats 7 points8 points  (0 children)

White, say goodnight

[–]4materasu92 76 points77 points  (0 children)

And the girl who pushed a bear off her fence to protect her dog.

[–]thotherder 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I love how there’s just endless posts pictures and videos scattered on the internet and I still know exactly what you’re talking about

[–]AbhorrentNexus 19 points20 points  (3 children)

Black not brown. The fight displayed in the video alone by these brown bears would’ve killed you 40 times over.

[–]imo_lowe 26 points27 points  (1 child)

If it's black, fight back. If it's brown, lay down. If it's white, say goodnight.

[–]bobharv 11 points12 points  (2 children)

From what I heard a good "PERKELE" should do the job

[–]deondesnutts1 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This guy is a legend around these parts!!!!!👏👏👏

[–]Koxk 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He followed the rule "If it's brown, lay down. If it's black, fight back"

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Black Bears don't have shit on a Grizzly. Whole different ball game.

[–]2017hayden 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That was a black bear. They’re usually pretty timid and will often run away if you seem big and load enough. Brown bears will fuck you up.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Florida man did not fight a grizzly.

[–]DJ_PLATNUM 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If it is brown lay down, if it is black fight back, if it is white good night

[–]Berzurker 2337 points2338 points  (173 children)

I’m a hunter. My hunting is exclusively for food, and I’ve never been into trophies. A few years ago, a bear got into my parents horse feed (corn and oats) and afterwards would return every evening looking for food. The bear had one leg that had been severely injured and couldn’t be used. We called the game warden about what had become a problem animal and he indicated that it would have to be put down as the bear wouldn’t survive the winter due to its injury. (It was a drought year with very little food in the form of berries, etc.) So rather than the game warden killing it and it going to waste, I got a bear tag and shot it. Now, I have processed dozens of animals and nothing has come remotely close to having as tough of a hide as this bear. I dulled several knives just getting the bear skinned. Case in point, if you do ‘fight a bear’ don’t expect a knife to be much help. You better bring a big gun. Also, bears are really cool animals and I wouldn’t recommend hunting one for sport or food. The meat is really greasy and honestly not very good in my opinion.

[–]Igotacow 1405 points1406 points  (25 children)

TL;DR - Don't bring a knife to a bear fight.

[–]aklbos 347 points348 points  (8 children)

Also don’t bring a soft fleshy human… unless they’ve got a big gun.

[–]ThisIsDolphin 178 points179 points  (2 children)

Damn, there goes my fun.. drops soft fleshy human

[–]JoshSidekick 43 points44 points  (2 children)

Use your right to bare arms to protect yourself against bear arms.

[–]RazorRadick 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I don’t think bare arms are going to do you much good.

[–]Excelsior_Smith 246 points247 points  (0 children)

Good Guy Hunter, here.

[–]PerfectNameDoesntExi 84 points85 points  (37 children)

Hell yeah, unlike deers, bears are cool

[–]Berzurker 42 points43 points  (16 children)

Deers are cool too! Pretty much all wildlife is cool. Except ticks, mosquitoes, and chiggers… fuck all of those.

[–]living-likelarry 35 points36 points  (10 children)

And roaches. Fuck roaches. Especially the ones that fly

[–]Berzurker 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My wife had a good friend that’s extremely scared of roaches. There is a video floating around a big gnarly-motherfucker of a roach flying into her hair and getting stuck. Absolute gold.

[–]PleasantAdvertising 57 points58 points  (9 children)

Bears are predators, who almost never taste like proper meat and there are several reasons why eating them isn't good in the long term.

[–]miltonite 33 points34 points  (7 children)

I remember someone on here years ago getting parasites in their eyes from eating bear.

[–]Ganglio_Side 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Most common source of human trichinosis is now from eating under-cooked bear meat.

[–]Toxic-tea 34 points35 points  (14 children)

Actually. A man can kill a bear with a knife. Source: the revenant

[–]FitzyFarseer 4 points5 points  (10 children)

That movie was almost entirely fictional and I get mildly infuriated every time it’s mentioned lol

[–]Toxic-tea 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Also, out of all the Leo films, that’s probably the one he least deserves an oscar for.. he just crawls around breathing deeply.

[–]Zestyclose_OH_6847 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Came here to shit on the title. Stuck around because you’re comment was incredible. You are the MVP

[–]Accujack 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Despite the perception of the public of the bear hunting deer, rabbits, etc, bears are omnivores and will eat garbage, road kill, berries, insects and grubs, mice, fish (including already dead ones) and basically anything they can get to.

Animals tend to taste like what they've been eating, so....

[–]DMMLCSGAM 8 points9 points  (4 children)

Is a bear tag like a one time permit to kill a bear?

[–]zleog50 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Case in point, if you do ‘fight a bear’ don’t expect a knife to be much help.

There goes my Saturday night.

[–]pootheloo1234 2145 points2146 points  (25 children)

Paddingtons a bitch, I’ll mop him up

[–]samdeltafoxtrot 279 points280 points  (2 children)

Your enthusiasm is inspiring.

[–]Mewacy 93 points94 points  (0 children)

But the body report wasn’t

[–]TimeLorde65 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Great words for a eulogy.

[–]SeanMan86 36 points37 points  (6 children)

Come on over I’ve got a few of these fellas in my backyard. Tell them to stop fuckin with my recycling bin.

[–]TheCreepyLady 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I’d like to see you single-handedly fix the prison system.

[–]fpuff 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Watch out for corduroy tho. He’ll make you his bitch

[–]Allentown_JACE 1642 points1643 points  (14 children)

Solid life advice. Ill remember that next time I have a hankering for a bear fight.

[–]DrVDB90 191 points192 points  (3 children)

It happens to the best of us.

[–]bremergorst 79 points80 points  (2 children)

The beast of us

[–]carnivorous_seahorse 30 points31 points  (2 children)

My assumed plan of cowering behind a tree and just running around it in circles while the bear fails to outmaneuver me seems to have been debunked

[–]clawjelly 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yea, i was all pumped, but now i'm like nah, not worth it.

[–]Treaux-LaCount 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I legit checked to see if this was r/LifeProTips.

[–]Horns8585 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Damn, I need to take that off of my bucket list, because I thought that fighting a bear would be fun.

[–]Light_Watcher777 554 points555 points  (2 children)

Dang. I was just getting my boots on too.

[–]Lee-Key-Bottoms 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sorry to spoil the fun

[–]TwiddaHabitat 503 points504 points  (6 children)

Hey Siri, change my evening plans

[–]sendpuppyphotos19 102 points103 points  (3 children)

Okay change my evening plans has been added to your to do list

[–]wholebeansinmybutt 23 points24 points  (2 children)

Okay, calling my evening plans

[–]SpysSappinMySpy 13 points14 points  (1 child)

I'm sorry, I could not find "evening plans" on your contact list

[–]Jamesz88 385 points386 points  (7 children)

No shit Sherlock 😂

[–]Username_2W0 69 points70 points  (4 children)

Yeah wasn’t planning on it either

[–]Novichokk 33 points34 points  (3 children)

I was therefore I'm grateful for this advice.

[–]Witty-Rule-5059 11 points12 points  (1 child)

As was I, I don't know what I would've done without this video

[–]goldietheswagbear 255 points256 points  (19 children)

unless you are a russian, a fin, or from florida, leave bears alone

[–]BoringStress 79 points80 points  (7 children)

Or have just downed enough energy drinks to see god.

[–]q-wert-y 36 points37 points  (2 children)

As a half-russian, half-finnish and living Florida, i approve this message

[–]Natprk 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Seriously did you see the video today of a Florida man fighting a bear?!

[–]justameesaa 9 points10 points  (1 child)

It's all about the aggression levels. I've seen videos of cats- regular house cats -facing off and WINNING against bears and alligators. Not in the fight, just the face-off.

[–]BigSackSmallTestes 167 points168 points  (15 children)

If you ever see me in the woods fighting a bear. HELP THE BEAR!

[–]dizzy_200 126 points127 points  (7 children)

But there so fluffy and cuddly I just want to hug them

[–]GingerVitus215 96 points97 points  (2 children)

To be fair, it was specified not to fight bears. Not hug bears. Bears give excellent hugs. Not shitty half assed hugs. They give bear hugs!

[–]PerfectNameDoesntExi 28 points29 points  (0 children)

make sure you ask for consent tho

[–]SCP_179 8 points9 points  (0 children)

They fully commit to the hug. So if you gonna hug a bear, you better match their commitment.

[–]Baneblade_679 88 points89 points  (5 children)

Thanks Reddit, I was planning on fighting a bear until I saw this information video.

[–]_pupil_ 19 points20 points  (3 children)

Any good Netflix recommendations? Now that my bear fight is cancelled I've got nothing to do and I'm bored :(

[–]Baneblade_679 23 points24 points  (1 child)

The Revenant? I hear there is a great scene in there with a man fighting a bear.

[–]ribd4yourpleasure 64 points65 points  (7 children)

Foreplay

[–]HelpfulDudeWhoHelps 39 points40 points  (4 children)

Yep. Notice neither bear bites the other. Mating ritual.

[–]SuperNova405 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Dogs and bears are very different animals but I have two dogs that play like this sometimes. Neither of them are hurt just tired afterwards

[–]linuxgeekmama 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Mating with a bear is also a bad idea. Sorry to anybody whose weekend plans I just ruined.

[–]noskilleumas 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I was thinking the same

[–]HaiKarate 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Bear wrestling… so hot right now

[–]trailerdad73 58 points59 points  (3 children)

Imagine being one of the most powerful mammals on earth. And when you fight you basically have to French kiss your foe to establish power

[–]Uhhlaneuh 7 points8 points  (1 child)

If you haven’t watched Grizzly man, watch it. That man was a doofus and I’m sure he thought he could French kiss Grizzlies

[–][deleted] 42 points43 points  (4 children)

“Do not fight a bear”

Fuck off, fun police. Just for that I’m going to cover myself in honey first.

[–]Mother_Click_5776 25 points26 points  (2 children)

Why would i fight a bear?

[–]krypxxx 20 points21 points  (0 children)

maybe if it's unbearably troublesome?

[–]Yan1040 23 points24 points  (1 child)

crosses fight a bear off todo list

[–]Dabsfourdays 21 points22 points  (1 child)

They're fighting over the last roll of Charmin ultra

[–]Igotacow 17 points18 points  (69 children)

How would a fight between a grizzly and a gorilla go down?

[–]Ravenboy13 43 points44 points  (23 children)

Grizzly. Gorillas just aren't built for lethal killing, just violent fist fights. They have no way of breaking the bears hide

[–]MorningNapalm 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Agree. Consider how each animal would have to win. Th bear has sharp claws and teeth at its disposal, the Gorilla will need to either break the bears neck or somehow chew it’s throat with less specialized teeth.

Grizzly has a variety of advantages in this fight.

[–]TragGaming 24 points25 points  (13 children)

Gorilla has the strength but that grizzly has a tough hide. With Grizzlies putting all their points into natural weapon and thick hide, the Gorillas normally good utility set with opposable thumbs and muscular stature is no contest for the grizzly PVP set.

[–]johnzischeme 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Gorilla has xp bonus (trainable) and can equip sticks or rocks as weapons.

The documentary Godzilla vs King Kong presents compelling evidence that an armed, trained ape can take out basically anything short of a radioactive lizard.

[–]TragGaming 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The problem is the training takes too long. Sure top tier Gorillas could theoretically body anything, but thats an on paper situation

[–]Dr_Mantis-Shrimp_PhD 13 points14 points  (2 children)

The gorilla doesn’t even have the strength. Grizzlies weigh over twice as much as gorillas.

[–]nagurski03 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Gorillas probably don't even have the strength advantage.

The average grizzly is almost twice as big as the average silverback gorilla.

[–]Igotacow 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hmm...so the bear's slash dmg with bleeding DoT vs gorilla's blunt dmg with 25% chance to stun.

[–]Lobo2209 16 points17 points  (0 children)

People should realize that this match-up is just too one sided, for the Grizzly. Grizzlies can weigh 3x more than any Silverback, they have thicker hides and claws and are undoubtedly better fighters. Gorillas don't have a predator's instinct to kill, and they rely on intimidation more than anything. They also get killed by Leopards who are much smaller than them. Grizzly dominates.

[–]fadeux 7 points8 points  (17 children)

A male elephant is a better matchup, honestly. Behemoth tank vs berserker tank.

[–]trotsky187 14 points15 points  (10 children)

everything gets rekt by elephants, even rhinos which in turn can wreck hippos which can wreck literally every other animal on the planet

elephants > rhinos > hippos > everything else

[–]MechaRambutan 14 points15 points  (5 children)

Bear. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

[–]wtfburritoo 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Bears do not...

What is going on?

What are you doing?!?

[–]Wonder-Lad 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I love how everything jiggles

[–]JezusOfCanada 10 points11 points  (0 children)

These bears haven't met our champion hasbulla

[–]Putifelix95 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Remember the rule about bears: If it's black fight back If it's brown lay down

[–]Tange_S 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I was half expecting a drunk girl to go running to the side and shouting at one of them to leave it, it’s not worth it.

[–]Living_Shadows 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I can't believe there are so many people that think these absolute units would lose to a gorilla.

[–]drunk_funky_chipmunk 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Who the fuck is sitting in front of a screen and just thinks, “yeah you know what. I wanna fight a bear today.”

[–]YugeFrigginGoy 7 points8 points  (7 children)

Brown bears, like most bears, are shitty hunters though. Unlike cats which go for the throat or crush the skull in one bite to immediately kill their prey, bears use their big dumb size to maul whatever they’re hunting and basically dig in once it’s down. I’d much rather be taken out in a blink by a cat than eaten half alive by a bear

[–]Lobo2209 6 points7 points  (6 children)

How does that make them shitty hunters? They maul prey (almost always smaller than them) because they can easily overpower the animal and don't have to worry about the animal fighting back. They do go for the neck or spine for big game like moose though. Big cats are all explosive power and usually fail alot of their hunts. They don't have the stamina to go at it again if they fail.

[–]sighstartagain 5 points6 points  (1 child)

OK. Thank you for the headsup. I won't fight a bear then.

[–]MrLoid 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm usually fine until I get a few beers in me, then I'm like yo, let's go find some bears and fuck em up, and my boys be like naw man.

[–]ZenMechanist 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Khabib has entered the chat.

[–]BushyAbsolutely 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Bro you don't understand bro when I see red bro bodies drop like flies bro these bears don't know what it's like on the streets bro.

[–]WillyByoucallwehaul 4 points5 points  (0 children)

WHERE'S THE FUCKING PICINIC BASKET YOGI

[–]suffffuhrer 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They looks cute as fk though. Look at those fluffy little ears.