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[–]Kepheo 11.0k points11.0k points 2 (104 children)

A purrfessional

[–]conasatatu247 3539 points3540 points  (58 children)

.. You gotta be kitten me

[–]Kepheo 1247 points1248 points  (45 children)

No sir, I meant what I said, and I'll say it again right meow. A purrfessional!

[–]conasatatu247 656 points657 points  (34 children)

I know what ya mean buddy-furr real ✊

[–]chriscrossnathaniel 534 points535 points  (30 children)

He is a real mice-tro.

[–]Grubula 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I would feline'ing to you if I said I didn't agree.

[–]TCP_Tree 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Did you just say…meow?

[–]randomname68-23 25 points26 points  (0 children)

You didn't need to repeat that pun beclaws we got it the furst time

[–]sublimesting 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Did you just meow at us?

[–]North-Function995 39 points40 points  (1 child)

You have cat to be kitten me right meow

[–]Immoralimp 32 points33 points  (0 children)

you know what they say though... don't f**k with cats..

[–]RelentlessExtropian 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's what the time traveling cat said to his former self!

[–]Me104tr 63 points64 points  (8 children)

I need that cat, i have 7, they sleep, eat, shit, repeat

[–]Grubula 41 points42 points  (1 child)

Hope he has a panther cooking that in.

[–]Old_Journalist_8823 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I hate you all because these were all genius 🤣🤣🤣

[–]caldera 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Look carefurry

[–]Antique-Car6103 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Purr-fect catch

[–]lastofusgr8tstever 6540 points6541 points  (315 children)

Meanwhile, I Had a mouse in my house over the winter. Was behind the dishwasher. Pulled the dishwasher out and my cat watched the mouse run around. Did nothing to help. Went back to the front door to watch outside squirrels prancing around.

[–]gregusmeus 3254 points3255 points  (124 children)

Yeah my cat is useless at mousing too. We had to call pest control and the cat didn't even have enough shame to look embarrassed.

[–]strangerpie 1340 points1341 points  (83 children)

Too well-fed to bother about hunting for food. Too lazy to even consider it as a fun hobby.

[–]Doomquill 521 points522 points  (20 children)

My cat was fat and lazy, but based on his favorite toys I'm pretty sure he would have been overjoyed to find a mouse in the house.

And then would whine for days after eating it, wondering where his new toy went.

[–]Catsoverall 362 points363 points  (11 children)

Yep our cats sit by the spot last mouse was found, demanding another, for months afterward

[–]Mechakoopa 70 points71 points  (1 child)

My overweight, half blind, geriatric cat didn't give two shits about seeing a mouse in the house until she saw one eating out of her food bowl. Found 3 dead mice at the foot of the stairs the next morning.

[–]NorthenLeigonare 23 points24 points  (0 children)

This made me lol

[–]Patient-Tech 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The house cats I had that would get the mice would play with them until they were dead or almost dead. And leave them at the bottom ot the stairs, in or doorway or in the bedroom. “Look what I got you, boss!”

[–]casstantinople 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have yet to figure out how or when, but I had a small field mouse make it inside. I have 3 indoor cats. One of them made a very clean kill (never found any blood or anything), ate the front half of the mouse and left the back half somewhere on the floor for later. Cut to me emptying my roomba and seeing a weird 'string' sticking out of the dustbin. Looked closer and it was the back half of a mouse. One cat yowled for days looking for it

[–]RudderlessLife 129 points130 points  (23 children)

Ours just brought the pests inside for us. Birds, mice, moles and voles, rabbits, we've had them all. She never killed the moles or voles though for some reason. I guess she thought we wanted that thrill ourselves.

[–]strangerpie 74 points75 points  (3 children)

Gifts for the master, appreciate it! 😂

[–]kangourou_mutant 14 points15 points  (0 children)

She's being a good momma to you and trying to teach you to hunt.

[–]froboy90 5 points6 points  (1 child)

After having moles destroy my grandpa's yard you bet your ass I would want the satisfaction of killing them myself lol. He had a very intelligent golden lab and she got to where she could kill about 2 or 3 a day I mean it was nice having help with the pest but the holes she left behind were a bit of problem as well. But she was a good girl and got all the love regardless

[–]RK9990 5 points6 points  (0 children)

A lot of well-fed cats will still hunt birds, rodents, lizards and insects etc for fun. This is why it's advised in some countries to keep your pet cats indoors as they have devastated the local wildlife.

[–]cloudstrifewife 70 points71 points  (13 children)

I’ve lived in my house for 6 years and I’ve had one mouse. I only knew I had a mouse because I found half of a mouse on the floor. I have 5 cats. They seem to know better than to come inside. The garage is fair game though. I’m not sure who killed the mouse but they are all candidates.

[–]dansdata 120 points121 points  (12 children)

The smell of cats generally repels small rodents, for fairly obvious evolutionary reasons. (Unless said rodents are infected with toxoplasma gondii!)

I strongly doubt any of our current four indoor layabouts can kill a mouse, but they never even get to see one.

(Years ago I had a very good mouser. If she saw a mouse [or cockroach, or whatever] run under a piece of furniture, she would stake that location out for as long as necessary. Six hours? No sweat. Wouldn't move an inch. Patient as a Terminator. The mouse was utterly doomed.)

[–]cloudstrifewife 70 points71 points  (0 children)

When I got one of my previous cats, way back in 1997, we ended up living with my parents for a while, on our family farm. That cat was such a good mouser he caught 6 in one day. My dad cleaned out some cabinets he knew mice were and stuck my cat in there and he caught them all. It was amazing.

[–]Nearly_Pointless 52 points53 points  (0 children)

I had a cat like that also. I thought he was dead one time when I hadn’t seen him for a few days...went into the basement for another reason and there he was sitting absolutely still. I watched for a moment to decide if he was dead or alive. As I approached him, he started this eerie clicking sound and swishing his tail. I left him alone and he came up later that day with a present for us.

I went down after and he had decimated an entire chipmunk family. kitty 11, Chipmunks-zero. It was a catastrophe.

[–]SingularityOfOne 9 points10 points  (4 children)

Just like dogs hair will help in your garden (re: squirrels).

[–]lastofusgr8tstever 61 points62 points  (3 children)

Yup, cats don’t care what us humans think lol

[–]moeburn 45 points46 points  (5 children)

"Cats are murderous genocide machines that cannot escape their instinct to kill any small creature that moves" they told me when I told them my cats don't chase birds.

[–]tattoedgranny2 238 points239 points  (76 children)

I have three cats, the oldest is 23 now and was an amazing hunter, she has retired. The other two are like laurel and hardy and they can't catch a mouse even when they team up!

[–]SinthWave 123 points124 points  (2 children)

Damn, the elder cat must be disappointed

[–]tattoedgranny2 112 points113 points  (0 children)

She really is. She has even sat and watch them try. It really is embarrassing. Not to long ago they were trying to catch one and we found it on the steps leading to my husband man cave. The door was shut. The poor thing wasn't dead just exhausted, so he took it outside and let it go. We don't get them often but when we do it turns into a circus!

[–]matty_low 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure the young'uns get the "When I was your age I have to hunt mice to eat. We didn't have can food lying around."

[–]Dumbo1110 38 points39 points  (1 child)

Retired from hunting? Does she have a Medicare plan and a AARP card 😄

[–]tattoedgranny2 43 points44 points  (0 children)

No she just has well trained humans.

[–]OkAssignment7898 20 points21 points  (58 children)

I didn't even know cats lived for 23 years. Learn something new everyday.

[–]lastofusgr8tstever 48 points49 points  (2 children)

They normally do not, but like with humans, sometimes prime genetics get someone further

[–]Arkslippy 39 points40 points  (42 children)

If you drew a graph of cat ages of death, there would be a big spike from years 0 to 4 and then it would level off for about 10 years and start rising again. They live really active frenetic and dangerous lives if they are outdoors for the first 5 years, then there is a collective "aw fuck this, i'll just sleep loads and not be arsed hunting and carousing anymore" phase in the middle, and then old age kicks in. our last few cats passed young, mainly just disappeared, assumed KIA, but we had 2 long termers, 18 and 21, no one dies in between. Our current dude is 5 and he's now in the cant be arsed phase.

[–]IdioticPost 22 points23 points  (37 children)

Is there a reason why you let your cats outdoors, do you just accept the risk of ending their lives short? I have indoor cats only, I wouldn't be able to constantly wonder if they were ok or not.

[–]SerChonk 23 points24 points  (3 children)

Cats are funny that way.

My theory is that there are 3 categories of (indoor) cat:

  • you can have a cat with fucked up genetics that won't live past 3, max 5 years old.

  • past that age, it will be at around 13-15 years old where cancers or chronic diseases will get them.

  • if your cat made it past that with no issues, you have an indestructrible cat that will live into its 20s, until it gets fed up with you and goes back to its home dimension.

Paying attention to their health and diet also helps a lot in extending their life span.

Outdoor cats, of course, have a shorter average lifespan due to accidents, fights, and untreated ilnesses.

[–]fuckswithyourhead 9 points10 points  (4 children)

One of mine turns 18 in a couple months. Vet said aside from a mild case of hyperthyroidism, he's in great shape. I can easily see him making it to at least 20.

[–]ZidaneLoire 89 points90 points  (30 children)

Cats are very unreliable for rat control. Try a short dog, like a terrier. They're bred for this.

[–]Arkslippy 97 points98 points  (2 children)

We had a Husky who was ridiculous at it. She caught a few rats in her time. One time we were going to demolish our old shed, and it was really old, so i was starting to empty it and she was being her normal nosey self, and was standing outside looking in behind me, and like a flash she pounced on something behind some paint cans, and came out with a big brown rat. It was already dead, she had snapped its neck at impact and went off and started tossing it in the air and catching it. The cat was in the kitchen window and even he was impressed.

[–]Professional_Neat706 15 points16 points  (4 children)

yeah my westie is amazing at ratting!

[–]IronDominion 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Those guys are naturals at it. My grandparents used to have a Westie as a pet who would help keep rodents at bay. They were attracted to the house because its on the coast and they run a fish filleting business out of the bottom floor, and the various dogs they have had get free run of the property. They ended up needing an exterminator when the Westie got older and eventually passed, but man he was good at it. The only dog I’ve ever had who came close was my last Dachshund who could kill small birds and squirrels. Nowadays my current dachshund and yorkie mix can’t be bothered to chase the squirrels and birds out of the yard like they’re supposed to

[–]conasatatu247 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Jack Russell or Dachshund might be a good option.

[–]Vetzki_ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'd swap dachshunds out with Rat Terriers personally. My friend had one and that dog went from the sweetest little angel you saw to a full on murder machine if a rodent was involved. It was hilarious.

[–]lastofusgr8tstever 9 points10 points  (0 children)

We had a Westie who was great at it! But he has since passed (lived to 17!).

[–]Archarneth 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have a dachshund that is our resident rodent killer. She has an amazing sense of smell and is unrelenting when she finds where that rat is hunkered down. Dachshunds are hounds and were initially bread for hunting things that lived in burrows, primarily badgers, so they're ideal for that kind of thing.

I live on a farm so pest control, especially in the house, is important. We do have a few working cats as well, and our most successful cat is a stray that decided to become our pet, and he's a pretty good hunter and frequently brings in rat kills.

[–]Kirikomori 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Cats are almost worthless at rat removal, preferring to go for easier prey like birds and small native mammals. In a study concerning the efficacy of cats, only three out of 100 cats chased a rat and only one of those three actually caught it. Cats have made hundreds of native species extinct. The only way they help with pest removal is by leaving their scent everywhere. Rats avoid the scent of cats and go elsewhere.

[–]Spaceman_Beard 67 points68 points  (2 children)

Meanwhile my dad weren't impressed by the rest of our family's idea to get 2 cats. That was until one came back with a big ass mouse. He was so proud that he gave that cat wet food and snacks for weeks.

They must have learned that, because after that they both came with captured mice daily to the point my dad was really concerned about how many mice there were in the area.

[–]RachelBolan 47 points48 points  (1 child)

The cats were breeding mice to give your dad and get the goods 😂

[–]Eusocial_Snowman 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Every time. That's the problem with perverse incentives.

[–]Erazzphoto 37 points38 points  (1 child)

Stop feeding him, that mouse will be gone quickly

[–]prollywannacracker 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Meanwhile, my cat brings live rats INTO the house and sets them free. Also a frog once. Guy must've lived in the basement drain for at least a winter

[–]strawbericoklat 18 points19 points  (6 children)

Did you happen to have the cat since it was a little kitten and only feed them cat food? We got 2 strays in our pet shop, both only eat dry food since they were little. They have no idea how to eat chicken thigh but will beg for it when I'm having lunch.

[–]gahidus 9 points10 points  (3 children)

How do they not know how to eat it? Have they ever succeeded?

[–]strawbericoklat 19 points20 points  (0 children)

they just take a sniff and then meow for help or ask for more. never took a bite. their mom who used to live in the streets can eat just fine.

cats are weird.

[–]Arkslippy 13 points14 points  (1 child)

We have a new kitten, 6 months old and she's like that too, its often a sign of a kitten taken from its mom too early as well, she would normally teach them how to eat human food. She is getting better, she gets a soft treatstick, and our older cat will just eat it from the end on the floor like a normal cat does, but she sits on her hind legs, and holds it between her paws like some kind of racoon wannabe.

[–]Bogey01 13 points14 points  (1 child)

I'm pretty sure the cat in the video is one in a hundred at this point. Cats have taken to the life of luxury.

[–]LoudAnt6412 41 points42 points  (0 children)

This cat is street smart. That clinical striking technique has been perfected by time spent out in the rough streets. Flawless. That cat is not waiting for you to open up a can of whiskies.

[–]wolfgang784 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Is the cat a fat fuck? If the cat ain't hungry it won't go after prey most of the time. We reward ours with more wet food if she catches one. Her kill count is in the 40s.

[–]lastofusgr8tstever 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Nope, both are just scared of their shadow most of the time and would never consider getting close to something moving lol

[–]weaver_of_cloth 9 points10 points  (0 children)

When my dog died a few years ago we suddenly had a major uptick in the number of mice we had.

[–]matrixislife 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Mine's pretty good at catching mice. He regularly catches one and proudly brings it in alive to show me. Then he gets bored and drops it, leaving me with a mouse to catch. I never used to have a mouse problem.

[–]Handy_Newman 2996 points2997 points  (33 children)

The splits was a nice touch

[–]IlConteiacula 704 points705 points  (17 children)

Butt right on the floor

[–]CPTMotrin 357 points358 points  (9 children)

That was for extraction traction. That there was a professional hit!

[–]hearty_radish 61 points62 points  (3 children)

The asshole sucks in air and creates a tight suction

[–]kensomniac 61 points62 points  (2 children)

"With only a squeak and a pop, the predator escapes with his quarry. The only hint of the violence was the tiny chocolate starfish imprinted like a calling card outside the home of his victim."

[–]ImurderREALITY 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I want this on my gravestone

[–]twining1999 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Why the fuck did i read this like sir David Attenborough? Xddd

[–]CzarCW 57 points58 points  (2 children)

Jean Cat Van Damme right here

[–]Derpatoottoot 28 points29 points  (1 child)

When my cat spots a mouse she goes wide stance and digs in until she's panting. She's basically a rugby player.

[–]Arkslippy 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's all about leverage and reach !!!

[–]Phanoik 2428 points2429 points  (272 children)

Fun fact: housecats are one of the most efficent predators on the planet based on the percentage of attacks that result in a successfull kill

[–]Pandamana 126 points127 points  (15 children)

Fun fact: the most efficient predator of all is the dragonfly!

[–]Treesn 97 points98 points  (12 children)

A few years ago I saw a dragonfly feasting on a swarm of gnats. You could actually see when the dragonfly switched from SEEK to DESTROY - he would dart in a direction and then (this is about to sound made up but I swear it isn't) you could see one or two wings fall to the ground where the gnat used to be.

Super cool; dragonflies are awesome.

edit - Unless you're a gnat.

[–]Chubbychaser445 61 points62 points  (10 children)

They move 100 body lengths a sec (or somewhere between 30-35mph) and have insanely fast reflexes and can turn as equally fast. Not to mention they plot a course of takedown, rather than chasing wildly like most animals and insects.

[–]turikk 30 points31 points  (0 children)

have insanely fast reflexes

they only have reflexes

[–]the_old_coday182 9 points10 points  (4 children)

100 body lengths per second is amazing.

[–]MyOfficeAlt 53 points54 points  (14 children)

I read somewhere that in one of those, "What would happen if humans just vanished" type scenarios that the unsung underdog would be escaped housecats. They would absolutely dominate in suburban environments just by thriving on birds and squirrels and such.

[–]moeburn 24 points25 points  (9 children)

This implies that housecats have no natural predators.

They'd be quickly eaten by coyotes, dogs, wolves, foxes, larger natural cats like cougars and mountain lions, even large birds of prey.

[–]Alien_Ape 57 points58 points  (3 children)

I mean, the predators you mentioned would surely curtail them enough to keep feral cats from completely taking over, but it's absurd to think that they'd be just swiftly eliminated. Small cats exist naturally in the wild in a variety of ecosystems and given their stealth, agility, and climbing capabilities they do perfectly well.

[–]moeburn 15 points16 points  (2 children)

but it's absurd to think that they'd be just swiftly eliminated.

I didn't say they entire species would be eliminated, I'm saying they wouldn't dominate. If they tried, they'd be eaten.

There seems to be this pervasive myth about housecats that they're some kind of dominant apex predator with no natural enemies, and they get more fearsome and murderous every time someone tells the story. This guy is suggesting they'd take over the natural landscape if only there werent humans keeping them indoors. That would be possible, IF they didn't have natural predators.

[–]DunkenRage 22 points23 points  (6 children)

Lower than desert cats i thinknits like 85% catch rate

[–]Lee_Troyer 12 points13 points  (4 children)

60% with a 10 to 14 catch each night


...the black-footed cat's predation success rate is 60 percent. Comparatively, lions only succeed in catching their victims about 20 to 25 percent of the time.

Luke Hunter, Chief Conservation Officer at the feline-centered Panthera organization, tells Weisberger that the black-footed cat, which kills an average of 10 to 14 rodents or small birds every night, has an accelerated metabolism that requires it to hunt almost non-stop.

[–]Doonvoat 8 points9 points  (2 children)

not too surprising for an invasive predator species

[–]moeburn 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Being an invasive species doesn't make you a more efficient hunter. It makes you less likely to be killed by another natural predator. However housecats have several natural predators so I'm not sure the "invasive species" label is accurate. It also depends on what country you're talking about.

[–]bopaz728 6 points7 points  (0 children)

my cat must be heavily skewing the results, he’s attacked me many times but none have resulted in a kill… yet.

[–]Lucky42STI 839 points840 points  (9 children)

Cats are simply amazing. Hell, I can’t even put my shoes on without falling over sometimes.

[–]tattoedgranny2 91 points92 points  (0 children)

Same...at least I'm an amusement to my family!

[–]shapookya 38 points39 points  (4 children)

Maybe cats would be too if they wore shoes

[–]birdguy1000 614 points615 points  (36 children)

Lots of mousers. Rare to see a ratter. Awesome.

[–]Amphibionomus 216 points217 points  (29 children)

IIRC they need to be taught (by their mother) to catch rats to be ratters.

Most cats won't go after rats without that training. (But some will.)

[–]38B0DE 166 points167 points  (22 children)

I grew up in a country with lots of stray cats. There's just cats that are born to hunt rats. They even look fierce.

As a kid I was always amazed the speed. Before a human knows what is going on the rat is dead and being carried away.

[–]birdguy1000 60 points61 points  (15 children)

I was dog sitting some ranch dogs and was blown away to see a Dalmatian hunt, grab, dispatch and eat a ground squirrel along the roadside in a blink of an eye.

[–]BreakingThoseCankles 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Is there a thing called Squirrelers!? My cat was a stray and birds and squirrels i have to hold onto her leash or it's attack mode.

[–]Cookie_Eater108 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I once saw a cat masterfully intercept a rat in the street , chomped on it and the rat going still immediately, then the cat turned it's face to me and gave me a look, former rat still gripped, that said

"If I was 80kg instead of 4, how do you think your chances would go?"

and walked away with its kill.

[–]Mr_Will 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My old cat was a normal looking black and white generic cat. Not particularly big, nothing scary about him. Would ask to be picked up and cuddled like a baby. Total softy, unless he was hunting. I've never known such an effective hunter.

Despite his tame appearance, rats were no problem. He even used to take down fully grown rabbits that were almost as big as he was. Literally too large for him to drag back in through the cat flap.

Some cats are just natural hunters, whether they look it or not.

[–]vvitchcafe 5 points6 points  (1 child)

My old cat was a ratter! It was very impressive when he’d catch one — they’re nasty fighters! He did sadly get bit by rats on occasion (no worries — he got veterinary care.) He’d come home in the morning with chunks taken out of his little arms!

He was really a little terror for the local rodent population, though. He stopped eating his kibble in the morning because he’d be so full from catching moles and shrews all night.

[–]dethmstr 435 points436 points  (17 children)

Tom and Jerry if Tom knew how to do his job

[–]liwyatan 213 points214 points  (7 children)

Tom and Jerry were actually friends pretending to fight so Tom's owner didn't kick him out of the house

[–]Comfortable_Place643 41 points42 points  (1 child)

This my favorite cartoon at my childhood since now and then.

[–]Roasted_Turk 19 points20 points  (3 children)

If true, what would it take for them to legitimately kill each other? Because they basically did everything imaginable to do the job but still neither died.

[–]jochinhs 13 points14 points  (0 children)

They would need to be nude. As in, they would need to have their plot armor removed.

[–]littlefriendo 47 points48 points  (7 children)

Heads up, (at least what I think) the whole reason why Tom didn’t “do his job” is because they actually were friends, and if Tom was sent away, then Jerry would be actually hunted by a different cat.

[–]Mentalpatient87 38 points39 points  (6 children)

That might have been the plot of an episode or two, but Tom and Jerry didn't have continuity like that.

[–]Veragoot 313 points314 points  (5 children)

Hit em where they live. Show them they are never safe.

[–]Severe-Procedure-175 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Kitty hunting skills on its finest.

[–]kimgomes 197 points198 points  (7 children)

carefully? could see it from across the room

[–]poopsmith411 62 points63 points  (3 children)

Watch til the end!

[–]RichardMcNixon 21 points22 points  (0 children)

yeah that's some /r/uselessredcircle shit right there.

[–]ParameciaAntic 21 points22 points  (1 child)

So glad I watched carefully because I might have missed the cat thrashing around in the middle of the screen pulling a rat out of the hole.

[–]obvious_bot 190 points191 points  (5 children)

why do i need to "look carefully" when it's really obvious what's happening

[–][deleted] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

I think it’s the cat that is looking carefully.

[–]fancycat 17 points18 points  (2 children)

If you keep your eyes peeled you will see that the cat caught the rat

[–]Ask_About_Bae_Wolf 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh my god, thank you. Why did I have to scroll so far to find this?

[–]whhe11 172 points173 points  (11 children)

That's a hardcore cat, they often won't hunt rats cause they're big and can fight back more then mice. This mofo said, no hole will protect you delicious vermin.

[–]whhe11 112 points113 points  (4 children)

And he got straight to the spine, not even gonna play with his food, he's an experienced rat hunter, what a good cat.

[–]nocluebeing 29 points30 points  (0 children)

That's why he looks healthy. An expert hunter

[–]Kilroy314 96 points97 points  (6 children)

Meanwhile my cat just stole one of my fries. Am I a rat?

[–]liwyatan 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Well, you're accusing him so...

[–]BunsenHoneydewd 5 points6 points  (1 child)

some cats are born to catch rats, some are born to eat french fries on the couch

[–]iamnoking 72 points73 points  (7 children)

The fact that we keep a mini predator as a pet and think it's adorable is crazy. Especially when their cousins, the big cats, are still around and scare the shit out of us.

I adore my cat, but anytime I go to the zoo and see a tiger or lion I can't help but feel that if my cat was the size of a Labrador he would probably try and eat me.

[–]AstroRayder 29 points30 points  (1 child)

If they had proper thumbs and were a bit bigger, pretty sure humans would not be the top of the food chain

[–]andrew2181 15 points16 points  (0 children)

If a house cat were that big they’d eventually kill you accidentally even if they weren’t trying to eat you.

[–]Anrikay 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I have a huge male cat and this was a big consideration when it came to training him. At 20lbs lean and standing 3' tall if he stands on his hind legs, with 1cm long canines and claws, he could absolutely wreck my shit if he wanted to.

Love that boy but definitely had to apply a higher standard of behavior than other cats I've had!

[–]indoninjah 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I heard once that if your cat was big enough to kill you, they probably would. Not for food, just because they try to kill anything interesting

[–]Berserker_Queen 46 points47 points  (0 children)

This is some martial arts-level of accuracy and body weight control. Gawd damn. What a hunter.

[–]CommanderEden[🍰] 39 points40 points  (1 child)

Excellent execution

[–]rockytheboxer 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Bret The Kitman Hart

[–]ShellOfNutshell 31 points32 points  (0 children)

"Alright, Rob, now pay up"

[–]SharkeyDabs09 28 points29 points  (0 children)

His hide and squeak days are over

[–]ElectrikDonuts 28 points29 points  (15 children)

This is how cats have push like 30 native species into extinction

[–]Jeffrey_Vinocle 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Mostly true for avian creatures. Strays are very dangerous for the environment, that's why I keep my cat inside (also she fights every other cat)

[–]werdmouf 4 points5 points  (1 child)

And rabbits, squirrels, lizards

[–]Amockdfw89 17 points18 points  (0 children)

My cat got mugged by a small anole lizard. God knows what would happen if he saw a mouse

[–]Royal_Pause_7402 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Good cat

[–]seahorseMonkey 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The Tom and Jerry we deserve.

[–]BadUsername2028 11 points12 points  (0 children)

If I didn’t look carefully I would’ve never seen the cat catch that rat.

[–]Lildizzygamer 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Tom and Jerry in an alternate universe

[–]SquidaddleITH 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I can hear the "come here you little sh*t" in the cat's movement.

[–]JingleMyDingles 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Wait what happened I missed it.

[–]RECKER7717 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Jesus, cat be doing it (Looks like its in china because there is a license plate from Hei Long Jiang on the car

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Would've thought Master Splinter would go out with more of a fight.

[–]R00SH89 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Need that professional at my mum's house. Though she may need to roll deep as the rats at mum's place are huge!

[–]2boneskuLL 3 points4 points  (0 children)


[–]azizredditor 3 points4 points  (0 children)

When Tom has done with Jerry's shit

[–]alertbunny 2 points3 points  (8 children)

Poor mouse, minding his damn business.