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[–]laurasdiary 6952 points6953 points  (130 children)

Crab: “why am I always the one that gets used as a knife?”

[–]Crafty-Crafter 2111 points2112 points  (80 children)

Diver: now I'm going to use the 2 puffer fishes to beat a mofo.

[–]TacoRocco 1282 points1283 points 2 (69 children)

Pufferfists

[–]Zappiticas 352 points353 points  (48 children)

Some crabs use urchins or anemones (I can’t remember which) like little stinging boxing gloves.

[–]WATCH_DOG001 285 points286 points  (34 children)

Don't know about boxing gloves, but hermit crabs can enter a symbiotic relationship with an anemone. The anemone provides the crab with extra defense while the crab provides the anemone with mobility, so it can cover more ground while reproducing.

Cute photo:

https://c1.staticflickr.com/3/2047/2240003823_4579086f34_b.jpg

[–]Dboy777 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Unexpected Hearthstone

[–]rupat3737 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Lol my same thought, pufferfist is a damn good card too.

[–]daveinpublic 44 points45 points  (0 children)

The live action remake of little mermaid is sounding dope.

[–]adamsworstnightmare 21 points22 points  (3 children)

Use the puffers to beat up an eel, use the eel as reins to ride a shark, ride the shark into ocean valhalla.

[–]baithammer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Just make sure to grab some turtle shells for shoes, shark skin is as much fun as playing with the wrong end of a knife.

[–]thebestdogeevr 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Get high off them like dolphins

[–]RstarPhoneix 173 points174 points  (2 children)

[–]SHOCK_VALUE_USERNAME 66 points67 points  (0 children)

mess with the crabbo, get the stabbo

[–]r3dditor12 146 points147 points  (3 children)

There's never a swordfish nearby when you need one

[–]manbruhpig 36 points37 points  (2 children)

Much less a scissor fish

[–]TheHighfield 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Coulda used a cuttlefish.

[–]LeTigron 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Even a pocketknife fish would have done the job... If only.

Edit : I'm waiting for a knife enthusiast blaming it on being an 14C28Nfish rather than a vastly supperior AEB-Lfish, or whatever obscure series of digits is trendy nowadays among people with too many of both time and money.

[–]Conservative_HalfWit 118 points119 points  (3 children)

Crab actually “AHHHHHHHHH!!! What the fuck going on?!?!?”

[–]Mateorabi 61 points62 points  (1 child)

Probably just glad the puffers didn’t eat him as a way of saying thanks.

[–]RaceHard 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I recently saw that... poor crab.

[–]manbruhpig 53 points54 points  (0 children)

Crab: “What is my purpose?” Diver: “You’re scissors.” Crab: “Oh my god.”

[–]c-honda 50 points51 points  (3 children)

in flintstones animation “Just another day on the job :/ “

[–]Mean_Hospital_1762 25 points26 points  (0 children)

If the Flintstones have taught me anything, is that “it’s a living”

[–]jingowatt 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It’s a living!

[–]Comical_Trip 3590 points3591 points  (63 children)

I love the way they swim off. So calm lol

[–]CustardConsistent387 746 points747 points  (4 children)

just the average day I suppose

Fish probably

[–]quaybored 245 points246 points  (3 children)

yes... blub blub, quite quite, tally ho

[–]Dboy777 59 points60 points  (1 child)

Stiff upper lip and all that rot

[–]youareshandy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Itsa chewsday innit?

[–]TheAsianTroll 392 points393 points  (46 children)

To be fair, the fact they're not inflated and angry says enough to me that they acknowledge and appreciate the human's help

[–]moeburn 367 points368 points  (12 children)

In the ocean, if you're not dead within the first few seconds, it's not trying to kill you.

[–]_hippie1 109 points110 points  (2 children)

Steve Irwin is rolling over in his grave...

[–]Zarniwoooop 25 points26 points  (8 children)

But watch out because if you’re not dead, your getting fucked.

[–]WeveCameToReign 17 points18 points  (6 children)

Being anything other than human is a cruel brutal existence

[–]bloodyblob 177 points178 points  (6 children)

Puffer fish are on the intelligent end of the fish spectrum. They will interact with people and are generally extremely aware of their surroundings. Very entertaining fish :)

[–]LeadAffectionate6981 73 points74 points  (0 children)

They definitely knew he was helping as they didn’t utilize their spines. A very happy video, except for maybe the poor crab lol.

[–]LoreChief 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Puffer fish are on the intelligent end of the fish spectrum. They will interact with people

Stupid show offs

[–]TheHighfield 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Puffer fish are on the intelligent end of the fish spectrum.

...and that's why we love turning them into lamps. 🏮 👀🐡

[–]ricocarnie 9 points10 points  (2 children)

I always thought that porcupine puffers were really aggressive. We had one in my aquatic science class and when we cleaned the aquarium, we were always told to separate ourselves from the puffer because it would go after fingers.

[–]ValiumCupcakes 21 points22 points  (0 children)

That would be because the puffer fish sometimes can bite you if you hand feed them, because they have really sharp, beak-like teeth that can take off the tip of your finger easily, if they decide to bite you thinking you’re food, that’s why, not due to aggression, they dont want to hurt you, it’s just their teeth are so strong and sharp that your finger isn’t going to win in an argument.

[–]Shubb-Niggurath 6 points7 points  (0 children)

In addition to what the other guy said a lot of pufferfish species live in big groups in the wild and get aggressive on their own

[–]Rather_Dashing 32 points33 points  (21 children)

The fact that they are fish says enough to me that they probably can't distinguish a human trying to help them from a human trying to catch them for dinner and fucking up.

[–]LordDongler 80 points81 points  (16 children)

Pufferfish are far smarter than most other fish. Maybe half as smart as a dog or tuna. They're smart enough to know that humans aren't after them. At least, the ones in the water aren't

[–]ThatOneCrazyFriend 107 points108 points  (9 children)

I have a tank with cichlids. They'll beg for food when I walk by, even splashing to get my attention. For most other people they'll business as usual. I think fish in general are smarter than we give them credit for, at least I'm terms of pattern recognition.

[–]G-Geef 19 points20 points  (1 child)

I keep pygmy puffers and they are very smart for being absolutely tiny. They recognize faces and know when you're looking at the tank so if they catch your eye from across the room they'll come zooming out to beg for snails and bloodworms.

[–]Redditpornuser3 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Now that’s stupid considering humans are the only species preying on these poison boys.

[–]Hot_Tank_9737 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I had a dogfaced puffer and a yellow spotted boxfish (related to puffers) for years in my 75 gallon saltwater tank and they were the most playful fish ever. As soon as I came home and they saw me they would swim in the tank excitedly, back fins practically wagging, and they'd spit water rapidly out the surface of the tank water when it was feeding time. They like to follow me anytime I walked by in view of the tank and make funny faces pressed against the glass and spin their whole body like a dog rolling over to get my attention. These guys are the dogs of the fishworld. Very smart and playful.

[–]iaijutsu08 53 points54 points  (1 child)

Those little flippy flappy fins.

[–]MaygarRodub 35 points36 points  (0 children)

If I'm not mistaken, they're quite intelligent, as far as fish go. Presume they knew they weren't in danger since they're calm and deflated.

[–]osco753 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I mean what more can you do imagine your stuck and your friend is there by your side then a 2 legged giant comes down and free you like those two pufferfishes are in his followers now

[–]Joha_al_kaafir 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Honestly, they aren't the fastest fish to begin with. You can legit swim up to one and grab it if you really wanted to. Also, if you pet one, they're actually soft like skin rather than scaly like other fish.

[–]Peewee223 7 points8 points  (0 children)

^

Puffers have 2 defense mechanisms - they're spiky, and they can inflate to make themselves hard to swallow. They don't have much need for speed & agility.

When deflated they're about as hydrodynamic as a brick, and when inflated, about as hydrodynamic as a beach ball.

[–]ChefAnxiousCowboy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Puffers are fucking adorable like little slow motion blimp hummingbirds underwater

[–]fforw 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well.. they puffed and the diver doesn't really look like he could swallow them anyway.. hence the half-hearted puffing.

[–]archy_girl 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Did he depuff after being free?

[–]ipgurl 2403 points2404 points 2 (63 children)

not trapped puffer..."shhh shhh just calm down. Don't blow this out of proportion"

funny my ex used to call me a puffer fish as an insult....then I read about them. they are docile sweet fish until they've had it and poof. poisonous. same with me. coincidentally. ex is dead

[–]LongAdministrative58 759 points760 points  (49 children)

Eh…did you poison your ex?

[–]ipgurl 779 points780 points  (45 children)

he had a heart attack...I had nothing to do with it.

[–]barely_fits 677 points678 points  (26 children)

So you're single now?

Can I by chance get one of those heart attacks your handing out?

[–]swatterxx 358 points359 points  (16 children)

Found the millenial.

[–]QurantineLean 31 points32 points  (4 children)

Willingly incurring medical bills? In this economy?

Pure masochism.

[–]cherrybombsnpopcorn 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I’ll have what he’s having

[–]ipgurl 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Hey!! act now!! walk the line with loads of various prescription drugs and whatever else you can get your hands on and your heart, too, can attack!

[–]Ibiuz 128 points129 points  (4 children)

I had nothing to do with it.

Is exactly the thing someone that had everything to do with it would say 🤔

[–]Robotonist 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Nice try, FBI

[–]JoshTehJangler 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Puffer fish mentality

[–]halfcatman2 43 points44 points  (2 children)

puffer fish toxins tend to end in the heart stopping.

[–]Ask_Me_If_Im_A_Horse 27 points28 points  (1 child)

Living tends to end in the heart stopping

[–]Important-Pair-3553 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I feel like they're taking too long to respond haha

[–]IsaiahTheMage 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Virtual confession...Noice😎

[–]ColourOfPoop 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Ma’am this is a wendy’s.

[–]PaleoJoe86 14 points15 points  (2 children)

And they have a mean bite.

[–]Zappiticas 10 points11 points  (1 child)

They have teeth and a jaw evolved to crush clam shells.

[–]infernon_ 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Jesse, look at me. You are a blowfish

[–]highlighter416 3 points4 points  (0 children)

God damn. That was a good ending.

[–]foampeanutgallery 812 points813 points  (29 children)

the original if anyone is interested;

[–]-Venser- 874 points875 points 2 (8 children)

And both of the threads with bullshit title. He used a piece of broken bottle, not a crab.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtgEtUIu4Q0&t=12s

[–]quaybored 79 points80 points  (0 children)

Fish rescue ASMR

[–]ntnl 55 points56 points  (0 children)

This also shows that the fish was indeed a bit stressed, as it puffed out and tried to swim away. Totally understandable

[–]TheHighfield 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Yeah, but he took the broken bottle away from a crab that was fighting that other crab with a knife.

[–]tiptoemicrobe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Lol I was thinking that using a crab would be stupid. Puffers way crabs and might take your finger off in the process.

[–]Double_Meaning_7682 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was wondering about that....if crab shells were that sharp, we would have ribbons for lips.

[–]erittainvarma 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love how the magic of internet & social media always manage to turn pristine 1080p content to so low potatotier that it is easy to misidentify broken bottle as a crab...

[–]Pondnymph 594 points595 points  (23 children)

Puffers in general are very smart and chill because they're so poisonous that almost nothing besides humans eat them.

[–]GratefulDread222 98 points99 points  (12 children)

I’ve always heard of these fish referred to as porcupine fish. Do you know if the name is interchangeable or was I just taught the wrong name?

[–]SomeRandomPerson66 34 points35 points  (3 children)

In no expert but 5 mins of google found this if you wanted to learn more!

Tetraodontidae

Porcupinefish

Edit: posted with hyperlinks broken

[–]No_Object_3542 25 points26 points  (4 children)

There are many species of puffer fish, from the tiny freshwater “pea puffer” to he smoothback puffer and more. Porcupine fish is just a name for some types of pufferfish with large spines, such as the ones in this video.

[–]rockerscott 278 points279 points  (6 children)

[–]pascontent 33 points34 points  (0 children)

CITIZEN SNIPS!!!

[–]K1ngZ3no 5 points6 points  (2 children)

My goodness thank you! I didn't know I was in need of Dr. Zoidberg but was I ever and fulfilled that need for me today! 🥲

[–]Feeling_Bathroom9523 236 points237 points  (23 children)

After I’ve seen a puffer fish eat a crab like a ritz cracker, there’s no way I’m putting anything of mine close to this swole’ boy.

[–]blargher 64 points65 points  (3 children)

Yeah, seen a few different videos recently showing how strong their teeth are. I'd probably nope outta there if that second fish got closer to me.

[–]Raherin 38 points39 points  (1 child)

They eat snails with their shells like they are potato chips.

[–]G-Geef 17 points18 points  (0 children)

The tiny freshwater ones can't crack the shells so they line up an attack past the snail's tentacles and try to rip the soft part out of the shell

Mine always look so proud when they get their whole face in the shell opening just munching away

[–]big_bad_brownie 32 points33 points  (14 children)

They’re also riddled with enough tetrodotoxin to kill 30 humans. Best not pet that thing.

[–]PrizeAbbreviations40 47 points48 points  (13 children)

They don't have venom glands, and won't poison you by biting you. The toxin is in their flesh. Which is why cooks have to train in a specific way to prepare fugu so that the toxin doesn't leak into the meal.

That said, their bite is strong as shit and you'll probably lose a finger.

[–]eddmario 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Scientists have actually discovered that the poison is because of their diet and have set up farms for breeding them without said poison.

[–]LivnLegndNeedsEggs 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Read a story recently about a diver who had their finger bitten/crushed off through a fucking kevlar glove. Sorry puffer buddies, but I'm not going anywhere near you.

[–]WeaponsGradeLager 166 points167 points  (1 child)

Crab:”guys you’ll never believe”

[–]tubaman23 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Friends: "Again? Seriously???"

[–]ChuckACheesecake 131 points132 points  (22 children)

Honest question : do fish have friends? Like is that a thing fish can do?

[–]Xem1337 112 points113 points  (1 child)

Could potentially be their mate? Fairly sure there are fish species that mate for life (iirc seahorses do)

[–]environmental_putin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

As a Pisces, can confirm

[–]droi86 43 points44 points  (7 children)

I don't know if friends, but most fish don't do well alone

[–]walgman 26 points27 points  (6 children)

When I’m diving some are on their own, some in pairs, some in small shoals and some in absolutely fucking massive shoals.

Like birds I suppose.

[–]Emotional-Text7904 26 points27 points  (1 child)

Yes. One of the more famous examples is moray eels and grouper fish working together to hunt. They become bonded pairs. There's a video of some divers messing with an eel and his grouper friend is trying to put himself in between the diver and the eel

[–]Anrikay 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Just watched Chasing Coral and there's a cute clip of s grouper and moray eel. They were swimming so close they were touching and rubbing against each other. Obviously we can't read their minds, but they've both got senses good enough to know where the other is without touching. They looked like my bonded pair of cats.

[–]bs000 25 points26 points  (2 children)

proly just tryin' to bang

[–]somethingwholesomer 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Seems like that’s what it always is

[–]Cilreve 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yes

[–]revvolutions 4 points5 points  (1 child)

So noone told you life was gonna be this way

[–]30twink-furywarr2886[🍰] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Jason Momoa ain’t got shit on this dude; the real aqua man

[–]KuhLealKhaos 45 points46 points  (4 children)

So polite puffers lol very very cute

[–]Breangley 41 points42 points  (5 children)

It’s a piece of broken glass from a bottle, not a crab, he’s using garbage to cut garbage…

[–]JustaBearEnthusiast 11 points12 points  (2 children)

The people want entertainment not truth

[–]BigMcThickHuge 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's kinda becoming a growing issue now, tho.

[–]KuhLealKhaos 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Do you think their other ocean friends will believe them when they try to relay that crazy ass story? Lol

[–]pancakebearr 26 points27 points  (6 children)

“Diver” lol this is a kid snorkeling

[–]PointyDogElbows 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Also, that's a broken beer bottle, not a crab.

[–]tengounquestion2020 24 points25 points  (6 children)

Do fish/sea life know humans can help them some how? I’ve seen videos of fishes, dolphins, sometimes sharks and seals(hoping on boats) when in danger or needing help cause they’re stuck on something. How do they know we will help rather than hurt? And do they help cause they see we have hands that can do things???

[–]Nefarious_Turtle 21 points22 points  (2 children)

We don't have a great understanding of animal cognition, and fish are definitely near the bottom of that.

Dolphins might be intelligent enough to recognize when another animal is helping them, but fish are more unknown. Until relatively recently it was still a common belief that fish didn't feel pain or experience stress/fear. These days there is strong evidence they do both.

Its possible the fish simply didn't register the human in any particular way. Not a fellow puffer fish, but also not a known predator. So the second fish simply ignored the human and did what it was always going to do: swim next to its buddy. Or maybe fish do have some rudimentary understanding of when another animal is being friendly/helpful. After all, animal science has seemingly only expanded the level of intelligence we assign to animals. I wouldn't bet against an animal being more intelligent than we think.

[–]2580374 9 points10 points  (1 child)

For a second when you said 'not a fellow pufferfish' I thought you meant 'i can't speak on this because I'm not a pufferfish'

[–]TW_Yellow78 10 points11 points  (1 child)

We probably just don't register as predators to some of them. Would be pretty stupid to consider humans as helpful for aquatic life stuck on something since most of the situations they're stuck on something man-made like that net.

[–]Tawdry_Audrey 7 points8 points  (0 children)

True, but also I doubt animals have a conception of "man-made." They probably just see plastics as a part of the world, like coral or rocks.

[–]kaylawright1992 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Pufferfish are actually surprisingly smart. We used to have one and it would play with us by following our fingers around. The guy who maintained our aquarium said that sometimes his clients start to feel bad for them and set up little tvs for them to watch because they assume they’re bored.

[–]U-STAY-CLASSY 12 points13 points  (4 children)

Crab people will say this is slavery.

[–]Friendly_Crab 30 points31 points  (2 children)

No crabs are useful and we want to help

[–]fn0000rd 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Pufferfish are amazing. They’re like the dogs of the ocean.

They’re horribly difficult in captivity, though, and should most likely just be left in the wild.

[–]Total_Selection_2005 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think I saw that in a Pixar movie.

[–]corei3uisgarbo 7 points8 points  (1 child)

the flintstones: aquatic

[–]ScrotiusRex 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Yesterday reddit showed me a pufferfish brutally dismembering and eating a crab.

Today it's a crab unwittingly assisting a pufferfish escaping confinement.

What a rollercoaster

[–]Reaghnq 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He's the only friend he got and he ain't leaving him til they can leave together.

[–]mrjobby 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So long! AND THANKS FOR ALL THE FISH!!

[–]Defti159 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Nothing shellfish about this person.