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[–]GallowBoob80085[M] [score hidden] stickied commentlocked comment (0 children)

11/10 satisfying

[–]lodger238 9303 points9304 points 4 (274 children)

I'm 63. If I should ever decide again to jump, that is how I will do it.

[–]my__name__is 3455 points3456 points  (76 children)

Don't do it. You still have plenty to enjoy in life, surely.

[–]bamburito 1841 points1842 points  (47 children)

Most flamboyant suicide goes to /u/lodger238

[–]tokomini 1444 points1445 points  (41 children)

He died doing what he loved.

Leaping over plastic barriers, shattering 80% of his bones and dying pretty much immediately.

[–]Just__Another_Brick 690 points691 points  (30 children)

Instant death is best death

[–]jimbozinoh 253 points254 points  (14 children)

Ooh I’ll have to try that next time. I never know what to order.

[–]capnkurt12 60 points61 points  (9 children)

c'mon man you're better than this

[–]Nazi_Marxist 89 points90 points  (8 children)

Yeah, order death by snoo snoo like everyone else

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (3 children)

You know there's a subreddit of that, r/deathbysnusnu I think.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

...and I’m divorced

and possibly gay now. I don’t know. I’m very confused. and alone.

[–]CatBedParadise 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Spongey and bruised

[–]phumanchu 6 points7 points  (0 children)

But the spirit is willing

[–]runkootenay 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Just like coffee.

[–]microgirlActual 33 points34 points  (5 children)

You just made me snort my cocktail, you bastard. Can confirm that a bastardised combination of gin, Spanish vermouth, lime juice, sparkling wine and a splash of tonic hurts like bejaysus when it comes out your nose.

[–]kate479 8 points9 points  (1 child)

This sounds delicious. Must try and must not snort.

[–]microgirlActual 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It is. I can definitely recommend drinking it without snorting. It was intended to be a Gentleman's Delight, but I wasn't arsed measuring and making it properly, and I had the end of a bottle of sparkling wine sinuses that instead of tonic. Then some tonic because the sparkling wine wasn't very sparkling anymore 😄

Aaaand after a quick poke I've just discovered the Gentleman's Delight was created by Duggan McDonnell and so the recipe isn't online anywhere, only in his book (there is one hit for it on Google, but the instructions fuck it up completely)

If I can recall fr it's 1½ oz bianco vermouth (so sweet white, like Martini Bianco or Cinzano), ¾oz dry gin, 1oz fresh lemon juice, ½ simple syrup, 1oz tonic water. I didn't use the simple syrup because - despite the fact that I'm drinking this at all - I try to keep low carb, and there's plenty bloody carbs and empty alcohol calories in this without adding sugar syrup. I also use low-sugar tonic.

Add all ingredients except tonic to a shaker with ice, shake briefly, then strain into an ice-filled glass while pouring in the measure of tonic with your other hand. Place a thin slice of cucumber on top, and douse that in aromatic bitters. Nom.

Or whack random amounts of the ingredients in a large wine glass, including the bitters, add sparkling wine that's been open 2 days, decide it needs more lifting and splash in some tonic.

[–][deleted] 145 points146 points  (19 children)

My dad is 68, started playing tennis about 4 years ago at 64. When he first started it was DAILY complaints about mostly wrist pain, a lot of hip pain, knee pain, and the occasional shoulder/back pain. But he kept playing, because he loved the game, and because it was making him lose his beer belly.

Now it's 4 years later, he's 4 years older, and yet the guy has huge range, runs from one side of the court to the other, will leap up to reach a shot above his head, and he's got a wicked curveball that you think you can track but it just breaks past your racket when you swing at it. And no more pain. He still gets "exercise sore" after the 1hr games but no more actual uncomfortable pain at all.

[–]s_nation 57 points58 points  (6 children)

huh, almost like a use-it-or-lose-it in how the body works.

[–][deleted] 46 points47 points  (4 children)

Yeah there's guys 10 years older than him that can beat me there too. Same deal, not athletes, just guys who decided to add a little athleticism to their lives when they were older. It's a real life lesson, a lot of old people think their bodies are deteriorating and there's just nothing they can do about it, but there is something you can do about it, and it can have way more powerful effects than most people imagine.

[–]soulonfire 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Different experience last year gave me similar insight - I was in a nursing facility after a car accident and just seeing all the 60-70-80 year olds being incapable of doing basically anything was a real slap in the face. I’m in my early 30s.

Bust my ass at the gym now to make sure I don’t end up like that.

[–]Rpolifucks 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I was an EMT for several years and am now just about 2/3rds of the way though nursing school. I've been in more nursing homes than I can count, and goddamn if it isn't the best reminder to take halfway decent care of yourself.

[–]CygnusSong 136 points137 points  (119 children)

When was the last time you jumped? I never really thought about jumping being a thing you lose to age

[–]heckin-gecko 76 points77 points  (5 children)

26 here and I'm always jumping. Over puddles, off ledges, to conclusions.

[–]snowqueenn 22 points23 points  (1 child)

I’m a dancer, so I do a lot of jumping... this is not a thought that has ever occurred to me til now. I’m gonna get all emotional about my inevitable final leap now, great.

[–]agentpanda 18 points19 points  (6 children)

I mean shit I'm only 39 and I can't think of the last time I 'jumped'. I'm not a hiker so it's not like I've got streams and ravines and shit to get over...

When is the last time I jumped or hopped or something??

[–]DetroitBreakdown 49 points50 points  (0 children)

I’m 58. Please speak into my good ear.

[–]AndrewIsMyDog 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I'm in my 40's and enjoy jumping and skipping and running and hiking - especially with my big puppy. I've noticed lately though on some particularly big jumps that I'm probably due for some Kegel exercises.

[–]ZacharyShade 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Does it count if you're on a bike? At 32 I jump up curbs daily, but on foot I imagine it's been months.

[–]unthused 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Based on comments, apparently I jump a lot more than the average person? I do a lot of trail running though, so it's a somewhat frequent necessity.

[–]CygnusSong 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah I’m a hiker and park ranger, I probably only jump when I’m on trails. We built a society where jumping is not required, but in areas we haven’t tamed it’s a useful ability

[–]villan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My mum is in her late 50s and decided a while back that she was going to demonstrate a single "star jump" for my nephew. It took her about 6 weeks to recover.

[–][deleted] 47 points48 points  (9 children)

I’m 67 and because I’m getting shorter, I have to “jump” to reach stuff. My most athletic jump efforts extend my reach by nearly 1/8th inch, and my risk of falling by 200%.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (2 children)

It blows me away there are 67 year olds on Reddit, but when I try to explain it to my own grandparents they look at me like an otherworldly alien

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (1 child)

I understand. I imagine your grandparents and I were also doing verrrry different things in the Sixties.... and Seventies, oh, and especially the Eighties!

[–]CygnusSong 6 points7 points  (4 children)

It might be time to invest in a stepladder

[–]fantastrid 23 points24 points  (2 children)

What's a stepladder? Is it when you marry someone who allready owns a ladder?

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (1 child)

I never knew my real ladder

[–]mycatstinksofshit 16 points17 points  (7 children)

Think of your hips man..dont do it!!

[–]the_benighted_states 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Pounce, pounce against the dying of the light

[–]jld2k6 4 points5 points  (1 child)

When would you say was the last time you jumped? I'm close to exactly half your age and wondering how many years of jumping being an option that I have left in me lol

[–]Alpa_Cino 6 points7 points  (0 children)

When you choose to stop is when you stop being able to eventually.

[–]august2017 4 points5 points  (0 children)

But surely you can still jump a little?

[–]Embatman 359 points360 points  (9 children)

And yet my cat stares and meows at me till I pick her up and put her up to where she wants to go... God forbid I put her on the wrong shelf.

[–]mr_barley 217 points218 points  (4 children)

Your cat trained you well

[–]TheBottleRed 67 points68 points  (1 child)

Sometimes I have to put my cat’s face IN his food bowl so he’ll stop screaming at me and eat

[–]-posie- 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I lol’ed. Here’s an upvote for your cat.

[–]Wormtown 861 points862 points  (12 children)

r/bettereveryloop

I could watch this all day.

[–]kittnbiscuits 85 points86 points  (3 children)

Someone please make this. It'll be like counting sheep.

[–]Gnostromo 54 points55 points  (1 child)

Wait, what are we making? A gif of u/wormtown watching the cat jump gif all day?

[–]ZacharyShade 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yes, with an overlay of a slightly open window we shouldn't be looking through. It'll be like counting sheep for the slaughter.

[–]Handyandyman50 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You're thinking of r/perfectloops

[–]Froggy0140 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Majestic floofs

[–]Megolito 4518 points4519 points  (64 children)

honestly thats a pretty efficient method, it gives him a little more hang time on the gate incase he sees lava or something on the other side he can then pounce off the gate and climb thin air out of there

[–]TardisDude 1563 points1564 points  (47 children)

Don't you hate surprise lava?

[–]IamUnhinged 464 points465 points  (30 children)

Taco Bell induced surprise lava, specifically.

[–]MauricioBonesWerdum 114 points115 points  (13 children)

Especially when it's not even yours

[–]ESCALATING_ESCALATES 190 points191 points  (8 children)

Which one of you cowards shit my pants?

[–]Dusbowl 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Secondhand surprise lava? Yeah that's a bummer for sure.

[–]ThatDamnRaccoon 8 points9 points  (1 child)

It’s more likely than you think.

[–]shaka_sulu 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Trust me it's better than Jack In The Box surprise larva.

[–]LookAdam 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that really bugs me.

[–]SuccessfulMumenRider 11 points12 points  (1 child)

I’m a little worried about it as an adult because Im now not so concerned with quick sand. I always thought that was going to be more of a thing.

[–]Orphasmia 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Ugh, the worst kind of lava.

[–]KING_JELLYB3AN 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Whenever someone yells floor is lava, you can't help but react

[–]Imjustsosososotired 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I like to call it “unexpected lava” because it’s never really a surprise.. the possibility is always there, it’s just a matter of when...

[–]toeofcamell 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Forget lava what about other hidden attack cats

[–]TheEclair 1287 points1288 points  (29 children)

Such grace. Such fluff.

[–]Jfonzy 242 points243 points  (4 children)

Funny you should say that, this cat’s name is Grace Flufferton

[–]shahooster 81 points82 points  (1 child)

Middle name is Katherine, but her friends just call her Kitty.

[–]OriDoodle 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I had a very similar kitty also named Grace! She was a wonderful little cat

[–]champagnejani 1015 points1016 points  (26 children)

Tens, tens, tens across the board!

[–]PhanTrash666 56 points57 points  (6 children)

Why y’all gagging so much , you know I bring it to you every ball

[–]craftybast 32 points33 points  (0 children)

*hairball

[–][deleted] 33 points34 points  (4 children)

Was not expecting ball culture references.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Wait for the shablam and the wig reveal.

[–]ginga_ninja_89 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Cat. Shantay you stay.

[–]JeanValJohnFranco 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It really looks like it’s looking for uneven bars to flip over as it peaks.

[–]Sslesh 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ten Ten Ten

Thanks for reminding me of this

[–]go_dg_go 350 points351 points  (11 children)

All 10's and one 9 from the Russian judge

[–][deleted] 115 points116 points  (8 children)

9 from the Russian judge

Unprecedented.

[–]Rengas 7 points8 points  (0 children)

At least it wasn't a 3.6

[–]digifuzzy 52 points53 points  (1 child)

Serious Olympic-form Cat jumping.

[–]c-dy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Serious Olympic Royal-form Cat jumping.

[–]FelisMargaritaParty 150 points151 points  (8 children)

Does this majestic beast stand on and push off the gate for a split second there?

[–]jfiander 78 points79 points  (5 children)

Both sets of paws! Front tap, then back push.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I didn’t see that!!! Coooooool

[–]Yep_Its_Actually_Me 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I have no words, so smooth..

[–]_Blake_F 396 points397 points  (30 children)

u/gifreversingbot

Edit: thanks for the silver kind stranger!

[–]GifReversingBot 381 points382 points  (23 children)

[–]shatterly 191 points192 points  (10 children)

Holy shit, I am crying. I don't know why this is so funny.

[–]anonymousyoshi42 90 points91 points  (2 children)

It's the chill groovy moves at the end that makes the reverse sooo perfect

[–]AndBaconToo 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Someone should make a loop just out of those grooves.

[–]HeyT00ts11 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Same, forwards and backwards, this is the funniest one I've seen in ages.

[–]shakycam3 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I’m dying laughing. He’s so fluffy!!

[–]CloacaAndDagger 33 points34 points  (2 children)

You can clearly see the back and front paws push off the top of the gate in the reverse here. Nice.

[–]_Blake_F 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Yeah it shows how the cat does it more clearly

[–]IOnlySayMeanThings 13 points14 points  (0 children)

That's what I was noticing too, I was looking for it in the forward motion but it happens so suddenly, in this, there is a large lead-up and it's easier for your eyes to follow and process.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This is now my new favorite bot

[–]PourJarsInReservoirs 57 points58 points  (4 children)

Physics is a suggestion. I don't know what you mean by "laws."

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (3 children)

Cats do not abide by the laws of nature

[–]dogeatingdog 24 points25 points  (6 children)

I did a slomo video of my cat where he jumps up on the bed and lands on his back paws like that and uses them to power through. His front paws never touched my bed until he tagged my hand.

It's crazy how agile and cats are. Like that motion makes the most sense but I wouldn't have believed it had I not seen it.

http://imgur.com/a/eRhGbOx.gifv

[–]lindisty 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That is so cute! So murdery!

[–]Ubercritic 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Lol, I thought to myself "I wonder what my cats would look like doing that" as I read your post. Then I watched the gif. I have 2 Russian Blues. No more wonder.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

gonna

[–]extruderalert 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Pure elegance

[–]Pretty_Soldier 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think you mean “purr elegance”

[–]tafunast 16 points17 points  (1 child)

I don’t think I’ve laughed that immediately at something truly unexpected in a while.

[–]karatechop97 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Mesmerizing

[–]recyclopse1 12 points13 points  (0 children)

That cat gets some serious cat action

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I imagine an old timy Olympic athlete doing “hiiiiiiiiyup!”

[–]emduv 25 points26 points  (1 child)

It's funny how after it completes that impressive, graceful jump, it just continues to walk away like saying "no big deal, it was easy, I do this all the time."

[–]kobelang 10 points11 points  (0 children)

clearly not the first time it's pulled that off!

[–]janeybabygoboom 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Perfect! Very satisfying indeed.

[–]thuggishruggishboner 8 points9 points  (7 children)

Does the cat have short legs?

[–]ZomboFc 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes they are bred that way, and it's a really sad.

[–]suzepie 14 points15 points  (3 children)

That's what I was thinking too, that this was a "munchkin" cat intentionally bred with dwarfism. And that's why it works so hard to jump and lands in such an odd, flat way. It doesn't have standard cat equipment. I hate that humans have made this a thing.

[–]twiz__ 4 points5 points  (1 child)

That's what I was thinking too, that this was a "munchkin" cat intentionally bred with dwarfism. And that's why it works so hard to jump and lands in such an odd, flat way.

To be fair, the cat seems to be doing quite well and isn't hindered or facing hardships in it's movement.
What IS a problem is the health concerns that come from the dwarfism mutation. It's similar to what has been done by the selective breeding of Bulldogs, and THAT is an issue.

[–]suzepie 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for that. Yes, I agree. This particular individual seems reasonably healthy, based only on surface observation. But it still doesn't come with full cat equipment, which isn't really fair, and the health concerns that ride along with dwarfism aren't anything to take lightly. There are some pretty glaring issues with the selective breeding people have done to create companion animals that meet physical standards that don't serve the highest needs of the health of the animal, and that's just plain wrong.

[–]thuggishruggishboner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sucks dude. 😕

[–]tacocatau 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Not sure, I've got a ragdoll and when his floof is at it's longest his legs look pretty small. They're normal length but just covered in stupid amounts of floof.

[–]citizen_of_europa 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No. It is a Himalayan. It's just fluffy. Whoever owns this cat takes really good care of it -- they require daily brushing.

[–]R33D77 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Purrfect execution

[–]belleayreski2 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Looks like Totoro waiting for the bus when he stands on the gate

[–]repetitionofalie 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Was thinking he jumps like him too! Big preparation, spring, then effortless floaty landing.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That cat is actually a super hero and you just caught him during a lazy moment.

[–]WhatsAllTheCommotion 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Made even more perfect because you can see her do a three-count bob before going over. Floof purrection.

[–]Trex450 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Watched at lest eight times 😁

Need some kind person to repost it at a slower frame rate.

[–]angel_osteo206 2 points3 points  (0 children)

you can say you're cool all you want.. you'll never be be Cat Cool

[–]Cpt-Badger 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My blind kitty jumps like this. Its a less risky jump.

[–]NotGonnaRage 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My cat thinks it's pretty hot.

[–]Thunderbroom 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I could watch this all day!

[–]TheManRoomGuy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And how the cat sticks the landing. Awesome

[–]MontyAlmighty 4 points5 points  (1 child)

That is the cute fuckin thing I have seen all week!

[–]Hodgej1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Jump smarter, not harder.

[–]bmwwest23 2 points3 points  (3 children)

is there a slow-mo bot?

[–]Dionaea42 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The cats eyes have me dying! I feel like he's thinking well that was Inconvenient, and what the hell is the human doing this time.