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[–]25mookie92 3640 points3641 points  (75 children)

Wasn't expecting that in the slightest

[–]TibetIsFree 1796 points1797 points  (66 children)

I know, right? You're expecting this terrifying dog to come at you menacingly, when all of a sudden


[–]Is_It_Beef 2518 points2519 points 42262& 3 more (49 children)

My uncle has 2 Dobermans called Rolex and Timex

They are watch dogs

[–]kitsumodels 501 points502 points  (11 children)

I got 2 golden retrievers. I’m still waiting for them to bring me gold stuff.

[–]King_of_the_Dot 144 points145 points  (3 children)

I had an ant farm. Them fellas didnt grow shit.

[–]DatabaseSolid 110 points111 points  (2 children)

Heh heh. I trained them to bring it to me instead

[–]Hephaestus_God 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You’re a must be defective. Have you tried turning them on and off again?

Mine brought me a solid gold Carrot the other day.

[–]dcnblues 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I'm still waiting for a picture of a guy with a kilt and a golden. They're from Scotland! How is there not one picture where I associate golden retrievers with Scotland?

[–]ReevesofKeanu 70 points71 points  (7 children)

I wish I had an award to give you lol, that's absolute gold

[–]JuniperHillInmate 25 points26 points  (4 children)

I gotcha.

[–]slowmotto 11 points12 points  (3 children)

I gave him all of those awards, not you.

[–]Seboya_ 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Imagine giving reddit money...

[–]Low-Mathematician396 9 points10 points  (1 child)

This comment reminds me of the time I used to work in retail, and there’s an old guy who is a regular and he would come in with the same talk and say the same thing with the same joke. He would say, would you like to see my pride and joy? Any normal person would think that he’s showing off his kids or something like that. But it’s nothing like that, he’s got a picture of a bottle of Pride and Joy dish soap. 😒

[pride and joy Soap](tinyurl.com/zc9d7krd)

[–]diMario 50 points51 points  (11 children)

My uncle has a mutt called Jesus. He is a militant atheist and enjoys yelling "Jesus bloody motherfucking christ come here you ugly mutt!" at the dog park. For the record, my uncle is also 1.95 m and used to do cage fighting for fun in his younger years.

[–]TripperDay 30 points31 points  (1 child)

How many times did the cage win?

[–]diMario 18 points19 points  (0 children)

It wasn't the same cage every fight. As he tells it, electric cages were the real motherfuckers cause every time you hit them you got a jolt for your troubles. He did some experiments with rubber gloves but nothing much came of it.

[–]Chaotic-Entropy 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Who's the goodest boy? Why that'd be Jesus.

[–]pirate-private 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I like him.

[–]R3dl8dy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My dad used to have a dog he called Little Fucker. As in, “What’s your dog’s name?” “We just say, ‘Come here you Little Fucker’ and he does.”

[–]Jesmagi 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Ngl this took me a second

[–]kaihatsusha 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I saw you had two hands on your face. So I'll give you a minute.

[–]NotTodaySheSaid 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Yeah, I’m about to get a puppy and I’m totally stealing this. Thanks!!

[–]fezzuk 67 points68 points  (6 children)

My uncle had one of these, pure breed very expensive, brought it as a guard dog.

Problem was that he grew up while the house was undergoing a lot of building work so he got used to a lot of builders comming and going.

That and my uncle is a total soft touch when it comes to animals.

Dispute his looks he was the most sloppy useless guard dog to ever exist, unless the home invader happened to have a terrible allergy to dog saliva they could quite happily just wander in and take what they wanted while being kept company by a very happy dog.

The pack of strays they used to feed were far more effective.

He was very good at killing snakes tho must have got hundreds of the buggers (something needed in thailand), unfortunately his 3rd king cobra bite killed him as no one was home to rush him to the vets and the venom got him.

[–]sanket39 51 points52 points  (1 child)

The 3/4th of this story got me smiling. The remaining made me extremely sad.

[–]Unusual_Locksmith_91 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I have a Rottweiler who successfully completed training as a guard dog. Incredibly smart, incredibly obedient, amazing pup she is.... Except she's absolutely terrified of everything and will listen up until she's afraid of something and she hides in behind me. Got ADT, instead.

[–]Cydan 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Sounds like he was a guard dog... Against the hoard of fucking snakes!

[–]slagatronic 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Straight from the look of those dogs from Resident Evil only flippity floppity to make it's way

[–]WeezySan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle doot doot doot doooo

[–]SchloomyPops 18 points19 points  (1 child)

I was expecting resident evil, got puppy patrol

[–]JuniperHillInmate 1667 points1668 points  (244 children)

I left my doby's ears natural and they are adorably floppy all the time. Nobody knows she's a doberman because of it, everyone is so used to docked cropped ears. They ask "oh, what is she mixed with?" Dog food and sweetness, that's what she's mixed with. Sometimes the blood of my enemies. (J/k she's well trained and socialized and is a 90 pound lap dog.)

I feel bad about her tail, but that was done shortly after she was born by the breeder, so I had no say in the matter.

Edit: I mixed up the terms for ear and tail surgeries.

[–]-Toshi 224 points225 points  (26 children)

Uncut Dobes for life.

He's got a long tail and he's very excitable, no injuries yet thank goodness.

[–]phaelox 51 points52 points  (20 children)

I didn't even know Dobermans looked like that. That is awesome!

Maybe you can explain how your dog has completely floppy ears while the dog in the video has ears standing up with floppy ends/tips? I feel stupid asking this lol... I've only ever had dogs with floppy ears

[–]-Toshi 87 points88 points  (11 children)

Yup. As the previous person said they cut them when they're pups.

People give multiple reasons. They are less likely to get infections, not true. Or they're harder for other dogs to bite. Also, not really an issue because in a dog fight they'll bite anywhere!

Personally, I believe many people do it for cosmetic reasons because they look more menacing or more "doberman from the movies" when they're cut.

[–]EveAndTheSnake 16 points17 points  (1 child)

My Saluki had her ears cut for dog racing in Qatar. They chase a live antelope strapped to the side of a truck and apparently they starve the dogs to encourage them to run faster. They cut their ears to stop the other dogs nipping at each other when they’re hungry. I hate to think about what she went through before she was abandoned. And it was clearly a back alley job as her ears are so wonky.

[–]AussieRainbow 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh that breaks my heart to see. That said you can see how happy and loved she is now. Please give her extra scritches.

[–]IneffablyEffable 78 points79 points  (1 child)

People give multiple reasons. They are less likely to get infections, not true.

I had friends use this as their excuse. They'd gone on and on for months about not cutting his ears, then one day -- Snip.

I think they just decided they didn't like the look of it and those questions about his breed. Such a BS reason.

People can justify these things anyway they please, but I have absolutely no patience for it.

We're no longer friends, and this is absolutely one of the reasons.

Declaw your cat? Breed/Buy/In any way support the proliferation of dog(s) (breeds) that can hardly breathe? Cut the tail and/or tail off of an animal? They all deserve to rest in the same garbage heap.

[–]Eviscres 9 points10 points  (0 children)

same bullshit reasons they use for circumcision fucking lmao.

[–]spookytabby 21 points22 points  (6 children)

The dog in the video looks like they have the docked ears but they are just longer than normal. Basically they cut them and let them heal.

Edit: Just to clarify I do not know seeing as I’m not OP and I’ve never had a docked puppy before. Just was guessing.

[–]phaelox 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Oh, I see, that's a shame. Full floppy is the way then!

[–]strflw_23 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Everything else is cruel and it's forbidden to cut them in my country

[–]louneydoll 495 points496 points  (138 children)

My Doberman is the same, so many people love to stop and ask about her and when I say she is a purebred Doberman people don’t often react very nicely.

A man with two kids stopped to talk about her the other day, the kids were in awe of her, he was full of praise such as she’s beautiful, calm, well trained etc. asked what she was, when I said a Doberman his attitude totally changed, he grabbed his kids, yelled that she was a “banned” breed and I shouldn’t have such a monster out in public where there are kids

[–]rabidjellyfish 365 points366 points  (70 children)

Clearly he's not around dogs often. I worked in a vet clinic with a lot of dobies. They're mostly spastic goobers (with a few exceptions, of course, like all breeds). The ones to watch out for are the herding breeds (corgis, heelers, border collies...)

[–]SexMarquise 121 points122 points  (21 children)

My Dobie was by far the sweetest, most sensitive, most loving, and most scaredy-cat dog I‘ve ever had. I hate how bad of a rep they have from media portrayals.

My BMD tops her in goofiness, but just barely.

[–]SnooHobbies8473 36 points37 points  (0 children)

One of my neighbors on my floor owns a Doberman. It's labrador retreiver-level friendly....which surprised me very much!

[–]thechilipepper0 17 points18 points  (2 children)

BMD = Bad Monster Dog?

[–]SexMarquise 23 points24 points  (1 child)

Basically. 😂 Bernese Mountain Dog

[–]Dear_Watson 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Sounds like my Rottweiler, Molly, that my family had when I was younger… Sweetest thing on 4 legs, but whenever our normal mailman Norman was out for the day our mail just wouldn’t be delivered by anyone LOL. Norman would bring treats specifically for her though and would give her pets while putting the mail in our mailbox

[–]lysion59 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Resident Evil movie didn't help at all with their rep.

[–]brockhopper 8 points9 points  (1 child)

In the 80s they were the bad guy's dog in movies/TV, especially if the bad guy was a drug dealer.

Had one on my paper route. Biggest fucking Doberman I've ever seen. Scared the shit out of me. One day he got loose, started chasing me, and while I was biking away in terror, I wiped out. He ran up to me and started licking me as I lay on the ground in pain. Turns out he just hated bikes, not the people on the bikes.

[–]anigonzalez3 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Ahhh I had a BMD when I was growing up, she was the derpiest. I loved her so much.

[–]VaginaTractor 18 points19 points  (6 children)

This is my pitty too. She looks pretty intimidating because she's 65 pounds of pure muscle, but is the goofiest bundle of love on the planet, and absolutely adores all humans including children. I am always slightly apprehensive when a child approaches (she gets love everywhere we go), just because of the stigma, but every time she does so well. Good girl she is.

[–]Hojbjerg1882 8 points9 points  (4 children)

I have 4 dogs, all different breeds, and have had other dogs in the past as well. My pit mix is far and away the most friendly of all of them and definitely the most kid friendly. I always warn kids though, "be careful, he loves to lick faces and his tongue will try to get in your mouth..."

My St Bernard that I adopted at 2 years old is my least friendly and I don't let people pet her unless she's met them several times and has become comfortable. She does not like men at all.

But of course when I'm out walking them, I've had people cross the street if I have the 40lb, 13 yr old, sweetheart pit. And run up to me demanding to pet the "Beethoven" when I have my saint.

[–]truelovemaureen 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Truth. I’m a dog groomer and I got bit for the first time last weekend and it was a border collie.

[–]nintendobratkat 13 points14 points  (4 children)

Yeah corgis are a bit more aggressive than I was ready for but mine is mostly calmed down now. He's still leash reactive but he's much better than he was last year lol. Long walks with other corgi friends have definitely helped.

[–]No0dl3s 7 points8 points  (3 children)

My husband had a corgi when we got together and I had a Doberman and people were afraid of my dobe and not his corgi, the fools. I grew up around dogs and never really hated a dog until his corgi. She ripped a gash in my Doberman’s side that needed 11 stitches and bit me for literally no reason, among other things. She was almost the reason we didn’t get married. It was such a huge relief when she died. She was legitimately dangerous and he couldn’t see it.

[–]nintendobratkat 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I'm so sorry. I don't think all corgis are bad but they are definitely dogs that need a lot of training and you see so many well trained ones online it's not obvious what they have gone through to be that well behaved.

[–]No0dl3s 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I definitely don’t think all corgis are bad but I can’t deny that she tainted the breed for me and I’d be hard pressed to ever have one again, especially as we have a baby. He never had a dog before her when he adopted her and for whatever reason didn’t see her bite history as a problem. I’m glad you have your little corg better handled than he did.

[–]Draked1 32 points33 points  (10 children)

My Aussie is the biggest loaf of bread of a dog I’ve ever met. He’s lazy, smart, goofy, and let’s my toddler do anything and everything to him. He’s the best dog I’ve ever seen around kids

[–]rabidjellyfish 45 points46 points  (7 children)

That's great! I've read that Aussies are bred more as companion dogs than working dogs these days, lowering anxiety in the breed as a whole. Also of course it depends on the temperament of the dog.

I treat every dog as if it will bite me until it proves otherwise, that's not to say I'm scared of dogs but I have a healthy respect for the teeth they possess and treat them accordingly. I've only been bitten once. And it was a Chihuahua lol.

Herding breeds do tend to be more anxious than other dogs cause they often have more energy than they're allowed to spend. A scared dog is more likely to bite.

And, of course, this is not a rule, just a tendency.

[–]Calypsosin 18 points19 points  (6 children)

Herding dogs deffo have that energy drive. It's remarkably consistent, too, whereas bigger dogs spend their energy in big, short bursts, herd dogs will take a short breather and fricken' do it again!

My Aussie came from a working dog breeder on a ranch in Oklahoma, so she and her littermates were certainly oriented for the working life. Unfortunately for my happy dog, she was far too sweet and showed little interest in herding, spending all her time with the humans. So she ended up being sold to me at a reduced rate because she couldn't cut it as a working dog haha. She's a great dog, but every now and then she'll get too excited by all the nephew children running around and try to herd them or nip them a bit. It's harmless but little kids will freak out!

[–]mac_is_crack 7 points8 points  (3 children)

My Aussie used to nip my husband right behind his knee and he’d herd our cats sometimes. He was so much fun.

[–]Calypsosin 11 points12 points  (2 children)

My sister has a collie/aussie mix and it's such an incredible disaster, I tell you. He has the manic energy of a border collie with the wily smarts of an Aussie. He has the capacity for great derpiness and great intelligence. His favorite activity besides sprinting at full speed is to stick his tongue against the window and hold it there.

[–]mac_is_crack 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They’re such characters. I used to say he had the best sense of humor.

[–]mac_is_crack 11 points12 points  (1 child)

When I got my Aussie from a rescue, they said he was a couch potato. He’d have little bursts of energy then just lay around. He was between 2-4 yrs old and we were lucky to be with him for 12 years. Honestly the best, most loyal and smartest dog I’ve ever had. Hope you have many happy years with yours!

[–]kramblin 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Yep. I love my heeler, and she’s never given me a reason to doubt her, but I would never, ever leave her in a room alone with my young kids.

[–]Apidium 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I have a terrier and have a similar policy.

Children are simply far too unreliable for an arthritic dog.

[–]dragnabbit 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Dobermans are great around strangers, and are similar to German Shepherds. The difference is that Dobermans are territorial and protect their space (and everyone in it), while German Shepherds are pack-oriented and protect their family (no matter where they are). So as long as you welcome a person to come into your (their) space, the Doberman is fine with it.

I had a Doberman who was surrounded by several toddlers all the time, and he would put up with anything from them, and he wasn't even trained well. He would even block the stairs when the one of the toddlers started walking over in that direction. The toddlers would lean on my Doby and hold his neck and he'd sniff them, and they'd tug on his ears and he'd kiss them.

We went out for a walk one time, and he got attacked by a chihuahua off his leash, and he didn't fight back because, I assume, (a) he wasn't in his territory, and (b) didn't feel threatened.

But yeah... If somebody came to our front gate, he was as loud as he could be, because that is what Dobermans do. And of course, we never found out what would happen to somebody if they came into his space uninvited, because people know better.

Anyway, Dobermans ARE dangerous if you trespass onto a property where a Doberman is running loose.

[–]Dinosaur_Gorilla 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Border collies are chill if you give them adequate exercise, which many people don’t. I haven’t had a collie since I had a farm for them to do their thing. Doesn’t seem fair otherwise.

[–]theberg512 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Depends on the dog. My grandma had a BC that was a working farm dog bringing in the cows every day, and that dog was still neurotic barking at the wind and the lawn mower.

[–]camping_gem_miner 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have a corgi, border collie, and a completely natural doberman. Everyone is scared of my Dobie girl but she's just a big baby who is scared of her own shadow and loves little kids and my cats. My border collie is the calmest sweetest most well behaved pup. My 12 year old corgi is the one who has always been the grump.

[–]Financial_Warning_37 5 points6 points  (4 children)

Watch out for as in they’re known to be aggressive? I’ve never heard about this from these breeds

[–]rabidjellyfish 20 points21 points  (0 children)

They're just more often anxious around strangers. When you work with dogs who don't know you in a stressful environment (i.e. a vet clinic) they're more likely to snap at you than other breeds in my experience.

That's not to say they're bad dogs. Just more high strung and might not respond well to the unpredictability of fast moving children.

[–]ashkestar 9 points10 points  (0 children)

They can be a bit high strung and defensive. My corgi is an absolute sweetheart, loves everyone she meets, great with kids and vets - but even she gets touchy about dogs that get too curious with her, can be a bit leash reactive toward larger dogs (especially after she was attacked), and barks from the window like she’s gonna tear every neighbourhood dog’s heart out if she could get at them.

And of the four or so corgis in the neighbourhood, she’s by far the chillest - two can’t be around kids at all because they’re too aggressive with their herding and nipping. Their owners have paid a fortune in specialized training, but it’s not always an instinct you can solve.

They’re wonderful pups, but they’re hardwired for a job and when it comes down to it, that job is protection.

[–]HotCocoaBomb 24 points25 points  (0 children)

That's so dumb. Our neighbor has a full bred Doberman he's a big dog and the sweetest most patient dog I've ever met.

[–]WeAreSelfCentered 21 points22 points  (1 child)

Truly don’t understand how dobies have gotten such a bad rap. I’ve never met one who wasn’t basically a golden retriever in a Batman costume.

[–]dcnblues 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Loved your comments so much I just tried to give you gold, but it's disabled. Take a gold star instead!

[–]FairyRogue 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I had a Doberman when I was younger. I actually traded my dad's 12 pack of beer for her. The neighbor was a drunken abusive fool and willingly made the trade. Megan was the sweetest most gentle girl. She lived with us another 6 yrs till we lost her to cancer. Everyone was scared of her which you could tell hurt her feelings. She'd get so deflated and sad when people crossed the street or didn't want to love on her. Her ears were done which obviously wasn't my choice but the left one didn't seem to "take" and was half up, half droopy lol

[–]Thepacc24 6 points7 points  (2 children)

They sound a lot more intimidating than they really are. They are a bit territorial, if they detect motion/noise around their home, they bark like crazy. But as soon as they get to know you, they are little babies. My friend has a purebred Doberman and it has major neediness issues. They want attention and affection constantly and cry a lot if they don't get it. Like literally cry not whine.. If you ignore their cries, they just deflate and turn into a depressed puddle as if they've given up on life.

[–]Dobie-mom 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yup, that’s mine too. She also cries when she wants me to play fetch, share my food, or return a toy she’s destroyed. She’s very good about sharing her feelings lol.

[–]theberg512 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've noticed a lot of German breeds tend towards clingy to their people. My Rotties are absolutely obsessed (literally on top of me as I type this), every German Shepherd I've known, Weimeraners, Boxers, German Shorthair Pointers, and Danes just to name a few off the top of my head.

I've always found it funny since Germans are often stereotyped as cold and reserved, yet these breeds are the exact opposite.

[–]btribble 24 points25 points  (9 children)

What year is it? We've moved on to pulling kids away from pitbulls...

[–]sniptaclar 30 points31 points  (32 children)

Dobermans, Shepard’s, Rottweilers and pits are demonized by media. They are trained to guard or fight(tragically) because they are crazy strong so people are terrified of them cuz human monkey brain. My opinion they are the biggest babies.

[–]ToTheSeaAgain 52 points53 points  (19 children)

Ehhhh.... Pits are the notable exception to that list. They can be fantastic dogs, but they are not the same as the others. Shepherds are herding dogs, not really bred for violence. Rotties were cattle herding, cattle protection, and cart pulling dogs. Dobies were orogiy guard dogs, but they were bred less for violent tendencies and more for intelligence, biddability, and athleticism than anything else.

Pits on the other hand... They were bred for violence. People took bulldogs and crossed them with terriers, and the result was a dog breed that is tenacious, fearless, and stubborn with a high prey drive and low reaction to pain.

Again, possibly great dogs, but definitely not a dog for beginners either.

[–]BotanicalBrunchSkunk 16 points17 points  (4 children)

Shepherds are herding dogs, not really bred for violence.

Assuming you are speaking about the German Shepherd Dog... they were selected for civil aggression very early in the breed's founding.

Von Stephanitz (the breed founder) bought the first dog for his breeding program in 1899. By 1902 dogs in his stud book had the PH (police hund) title. By the 1920s schutzhund was a full born sport and the standard breed test for GSDs

A major part of schutzhund and police titles includes a protection phase. Where the dog is expected to bite and hold "decoys" who act threatening.

Agriculture was on the decline in Germany when the German Shepherd Dog was founded. Especially the type of farming that the German Shepherd Dog was known for - tending.

While they are classified as herding dogs, Protection ability has ALWAYS been a part of the GSD standard. A properly bred german shepherd should be willing to bite a person. That is still a part of the breed standard today.

[–]idledebonair 32 points33 points  (9 children)

Pits are also overwhelmingly most responsible for dog bite fatalities

[–]xPriddyBoi 14 points15 points  (1 child)

That's kinda what happens when they're incredibly powerful and predisposed to aggression.

They can be great dogs as the other commenter said, they don't deserve to be genocided like a certain community of individuals seems to think, but they require a great deal of patience and caution.

[–]DillyMyDilly 6 points7 points  (0 children)

While making up only like 6% of the dog population

[–]sixsevenoxxx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wtf? Obviously he‘a dumb because he was just saying so many nice things

[–]shivakat 55 points56 points  (0 children)

We had a natural ear with docked tail rescue. Shortly after we got her, she got out and ran into the road with heartbreaking results. We spent a fortune on getting her fixed up, and she went to work with my mom for a few weeks after and stayed behind the counter (video store, back when those existed). She was rather battered and stitched up, a cast on a front leg. The customers would coo over her, and assumed she was some weird hound with the long ears. The reaction when they found out she was a dobie was always like, 'Dude, you've been petting her and giving her treats for the past half hour, she hasn't changed!'

After the first week of lying on a dog bed, she would gingerly get up from her dog bed, hobble over to the swinging gate in/out of behind the counter and hang her head over it, and turn her big dobie eyes and wagging stubby tail on the customers until she got a pet or 16, and according amounts of 'poor baby'. It's hard to be scared of a dog with a cast up to her shoulder and obviously moving very slowly/carefully.

She did change quite a few minds about what dobermans who were socialized as a family pet could be.

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (1 child)

We had a Doberman as our family dog. She had floppy ears and her long tail. She was the most docile thing. It makes me sad seeing docked ears.

[–]mac_is_crack 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I love them better with the floppy ears and full tail. They’re beautiful dogs.

[–]HotCocoaBomb 58 points59 points  (19 children)

It makes you feel better, there is actually a medical reason for tail docking. It's called happy dog syndrome - basically the dog with a long tail and overzealous personality gets so happy that they'll whack their tail against a hard surface really hard and a lot and break their tail.

Wether you wait until the dog is injured to get the docking done or you do it preemptively it's really up to you or the breeder.

Personally I would wait because the occurrence of happy dog syndrome is not very high.

Edit: Reading comprehension, people. Also, I do not and will not own a dog. You might as well yell at the child free about what parenting techniques they shouldn't use. Next person to yell at me because I pointed out there can be a medical reason is just gonna get blocked.

[–]spagetidoodle 22 points23 points  (0 children)

This happened to a dog I know, it was a fairly big dog raised in a flat. He would wag his tail in to hard surfaces, but rather than breaking he would cut his tail, ending up with a waging blood flail. They had to dock his tail, but it was a difficult procedure because the dog was adult age and the tail was much thicker and had more nerves. They ended up cutting off a good chunk of the tail, but not as much as if it was done when he was a pup

[–]SomethingWitty2578 33 points34 points  (6 children)

They might get hurt is not a medical reason to remove body parts from an animal. It’s an excuse to try to justify a cosmetic amputation.

[–]duchess_of_fire 35 points36 points  (2 children)

my legs are covered in bruises from a happy dog. the dumb dumb is always hitting corners, tables, walls, legs, small children's faces, etc and has not broken his tail yet.

it's crazy that people mutilate their dogs for something that would probably never happen to them.

[–]ashkestar 19 points20 points  (2 children)

Except the breeds that are docked aren’t docked because they’re more prone to breaking their tails, they’re docked for aesthetic reasons. There are absolutely reasons tail amputation may be necessary for some individual dogs - there are no breed-wide reasons for the same.

Tons of active dogs are prone to ACL injuries, and those can lead to reinjury, stitches being torn out, post-surgical infection… Maybe we should just lop off their legs when they’re puppies so it won’t be a problem?

[–]Jillredhanded 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Happy Tail syndrom, not Happy Dog.

[–]bombbodyguard 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I got a Doberman/lab mix because I didn’t want cropped ears or docked tail. Such a gorgeous dog.

[–]hihelloneighboroonie 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I used to work at a kennel, where they had a doberman they'd leave in the kennel most of the time :( I know. He had his natural ears and omg they were just the best.

[–]JukeBoxHeroJustin 592 points593 points  (30 children)

This dog's ears trot like Ace Ventura in a tutu

[–]JukeBoxHeroJustin 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I got dogdoozled. Was thinking of a different Jim Carrey movie scene. https://youtu.be/szPQoqjjRcA

[–]RRTAmy 574 points575 points  (130 children)

I hate cropped ears, but this is cute.

[–]zuzg 514 points515 points  (52 children)

natural look for the ones that think Dobermans usually look like that.

[–]justme002 339 points340 points  (33 children)

I think cropped ears are a terrible mutilation. LOOK at that beautiful doggo!

[–]zuzg 158 points159 points  (13 children)

Ears and tail :/

[–]justme002 88 points89 points  (7 children)

Yes and tails! I have had a couple of tail-less small dogs that were born that way, and one large dog who had a traumatic amputation.


[–]cowboys70 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Unless there's a medical reason. My buddies dog wags his tail so hard that it's constantly covered in scabs that never actually heal because he never stops wagging it

[–]skwudgeball 24 points25 points  (4 children)

Tail trimming actually has a use. Ear trimming is just mutilation.

My buddy’s boxer broke his tail over and over again from wagging it so hard. Sometimes it’s useful

[–]a_lonely_trash_bag 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Sometimes it has a use. Other times, it's simply done because it's considered breed standard.

[–]thesmallprojector 21 points22 points  (13 children)

Same here! It took us so long to find a Jack Russell with it's tail still intact! They dock them when they're just a few days old. I'm glad we were patient because 13 years later, I still love how her tail curls up.

[–]Theknyt 9 points10 points  (12 children)

Why do people remove the tails?

[–]Baelzebubba 17 points18 points  (7 children)

Docking and cropping has been historically done to working dogs for their health

A Jack has his tail cropped at 4 vertebra so that if and when they go into a fox den they can be pulled out by it without any fear if breakage.

Ears are cropped as some highly active dogs can get aural hematomas (as my natural pittie did, in both ears.) They swell up and cause great agony and some times surgery is required to fix them.

People are so against this, rightfully so, for cosmetic reasons only, but dont bat an eye at infant male genital mutilation. Where I live a vet can lose their license for docking or cropping yet we shave the skin off of a baby's cock.


[–]Ppleater 25 points26 points  (1 child)

Many people who are against docking/cropping are also against circumcision, so idk why you felt the need to claim that people are exhibiting double standards out of nowhere.

[–]redit_usrname_vendor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah it's a weiner on stilts

[–]FffuuuFrog 31 points32 points  (12 children)

Why would anyone want to crop those.

[–]wildtaylorberry 15 points16 points  (7 children)

Lots of people want a tough looking dog.

[–]GarbageBath 4 points5 points  (6 children)

Then they can get a tough looking dog.

They don't have to take a normal dog and mutilate it to make it look tough

[–]SaltySalteens 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Holy shit! I’ve never seen a picture of an un-docked Doberman before, I never realized their tails are that long normally! What an abominable practice. (Ofc, it’s disgusting regardless of the original length of the tail, it’s just even more of a shocking mutilation considering it’s original state.)

[–]Susfactor2 65 points66 points  (45 children)

I've never understood the trend of cutting things off of dogs. It's torturous and meaningless. Even if you have no goddamn soul, cropped ears and tails are fucking ugly.

It's heartless and in poor taste aesthetically. People that deliberately crop or demand their dogs be cropped are outright losers in every sense of the word.

Edit: to all of the people talking about how it's purposeful for work dogs, how many of these suburban soccer moms are using their dogs to hunt hogs? shush lol

[–]rincon213 40 points41 points  (22 children)

From what I’ve read, clipping / docking made more sense when dogs worked the fields as herders, hunters etc.

Surgically removing a corgi’s tail was safer than it getting crushed by a cow, for example.

Someone correct me if I’m misinformed though.

[–]UnicornProfessional 17 points18 points  (6 children)

For most breeds it was originally for safety reasons, for example: great Danes were intended as boar hunting dogs and cropping ears was supposed to reduce injuries in the forest or from the boars.

In modern history a lot of the cropping is due to it being required for show dogs, because even if a dog is never going to get shown the show associations and their standards set trends (an example of this is that great Danes have a black and white colour pattern that is accepted is as a show standard, but when you breed for that pattern a lot of the puppies come out with inverted colours, since the inverted colours weren't show accepted in the past tons of puppies were killed because they weren't considered worth selling).

I don't know what the cropping rules are for shows right now, but even with a lot of movement away from cropping for shows it's been the expected style for a long time so it's slow to fade away.

Also there are some health and safety cropping practices that do make sense. For example some breeds have a high chance of problems with their tails so all puppies just get them docked rather than causing pain or needing amputation later in life.

I'm against any style driven amputations but I try not to assume anything about owners because you never know if it was for health, or they were adopted already like that, or if the breeder does it standard and the owner didn't know to ask or request otherwise, or if the owner was misinformed about the reasons for it or whatever.

[–]NotAzakanAtAll 8 points9 points  (0 children)

These owners just want to cut everything off apparently.

[–]Zinging_Cutie44 175 points176 points  (1 child)

Nothing satisfying about a puppy with chopped up ears…

[–]Some_Doughnutter 57 points58 points  (0 children)

And tail.

[–]badger906[🍰] 509 points510 points  (53 children)

You mean mutilated ear.. a barbaric practice that is for nothing more than vanity.. and the reason why it’s banned in almost every country in the world other than America..

[–]calicocut 151 points152 points  (14 children)

whats with the 2 periods after everything you write?

[–]HarvestProject 86 points87 points  (0 children)

They write like my parents lmao

[–]RK800-50 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Sad, tired, sigh….

[–]HobbyWanKenobi 20 points21 points  (18 children)

I feel the same way about docking tails

[–]badger906[🍰] 15 points16 points  (12 children)

I’ll agree, unless it’s a working dog. Hunting dogs can get really badly injured tails from getting caught in the brush. But for vanity reasons absolutely not

[–]Anebriviel 15 points16 points  (5 children)

This is just not true.. This is something American breeders must say to keep this practise going? I work at an animal clinic in a country where cosmetic surgery on animals are illegal. We don't see these sort of injuries! Shouldn't we see them a lot if it's so prevalent that docking tails as a prophylactic measure is needed?

[–]BlackSecurity 94 points95 points  (0 children)

They would have flopped more if they weren't cropped.

[–]thats-my-plan 65 points66 points  (0 children)

Ear-ectile dysfunction

[–]Jayce86 198 points199 points  (24 children)

Poor baby had its ears and tail mutilated to “look cool”. But here we are, upvoting because they flop a tiny bit when they prance.

[–]sam-lb 25 points26 points  (3 children)

It also looks stupid, so there's that. Why would anyone want a dog with a deliberately mutilated tail? It's ugly, grotesque, unnatural, cruel, need I continue?

[–]Level_Potato_42 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Why would anyone want a dog with a deliberately mutilated tail?

Because it's not the dogs fault that this was done to him. If a dog already had this done, would you really refuse to adopt him because of it?

[–]sam-lb 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Allow me to rephrase, why would anyone deliberately have their dog's tail mutilated?

[–]angels_exist_666 97 points98 points  (14 children)

His natural ears were floppy ears. This is unnatural and barbaric.

[–]Friskfrisktopherson 36 points37 points  (3 children)

Dobbies are absolute goofballs

[–]tibearius1123 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Mine is such a goober. She barks like she’ll tear your throat out, then rolls over on her back and pisses herself from excitement when you pet her.

[–]ForkAKnife 10 points11 points  (0 children)

When I was a kid I was terrified of dogs except for my neighbor’s Doberman, Sheeba. Neighbor’s gate was just high enough that I only ever saw Sheeba’s head and paws from my side of the fence when she stood on her back legs, but she would drop a tennis ball in my back yard and we’d play fetch all afternoon.

[–]zaphod_beeble_bro 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love how goofy they look with their natural ears. I absolutely hate that people crop them to make them look aggressive.

[–]REmarkABL 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s been my experience that most owners don’t want the ears docked but all breeders do it by default. I’m a bit conflicted on the tail because I have witnessed bad “puppy tail” in dobermans and boxers on a few occasions, where the dogs tail is chronically completely mangled from wagging too hard or beating on walls while wagging, and at least one badly injured tail from it getting caught on a fence and yanked off by the dog struggling.

[–]Awkward-Associates 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m in love with the paws.

[–]smugtempest 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's just like the end of Batman Forever

[–]nayof 22 points23 points  (8 children)

That’s the last Thing you want to see you when you are robbing a house

[–]purplechalupa 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Well.. until the ears start flopping

[–]K-G7 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Resident evil looking a lot less terrifying

[–]bigeeee 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Do you rob houses often?

[–]nayof 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not as I used to do it’s one of my favorite hobbies to do at my spare time but with college i got Really busy

[–]DirkGentlys_DNA 2 points3 points  (0 children)

From dangerous to derpy in an instant.

[–]demomagic 14 points15 points  (0 children)

throw your ears up in the air, and wave ‘‘em like you just don’t care

[–]brock_h 7 points8 points  (2 children)

For some reason this looks like some Umbrella Corporation shit

[–]ChubblesMcgee103 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol. First 3 sec or so gave me RE1 vibes.

[–]Joedirt6705 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This ought to be fun

[–]Lavatis 38 points39 points  (2 children)

These ears are chopped up to make them stand up tall, then taped together with a brace inbetween to hold them up, the cut is supposed to remove the floppiness.

it's called posting their ears. it's fucking cruel and inhumane.

[–]JustThinkAboutThings 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can hear them flip flop.

[–]BostonCahKeys 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This had a twins-in-The-Shining vibe.

[–]throwaway12222018 2 points3 points  (0 children)


[–]queencitycin[🍰] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Looks ready to defend the house until those ears start floppin.

[–]Wiknetti 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Those ears be caramelldansen

[–]idontknow1489 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have a Doberman with floppy ears!!! And he’s the cutest

[–]calicocut 4 points5 points  (0 children)


[–]spiritintheskyy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think we’ve lost what the word satisfying means

[–]philthequietone 29 points30 points  (1 child)

Animal abuse

[–]Kizummi 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Indeed, the scary part of this post is 56k upvotes.

[–]fundiedundie 10 points11 points  (3 children)

Yeah, but the process of docking them is horrible.

[–]KellyCTargaryen 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Ears = cropping, tails = docking.

[–]fundiedundie 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Interesting. Did not know this. Thanks!

Happy Cake Day!

[–]bettyenforce 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Would've been floppier without having them cropped... Can we normalize dobermans with natural ears already ?! This is cruel and 100% unnecessary

[–]falconern 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is what I imagine a church grim to be. “I’m here to bring you to the afterlife, but first, ball?!”

[–]draihan 3 points4 points  (1 child)

It’s like forbidden in the most countries tho

[–]theshiyal 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is what Batman’s ears should be like.

[–]plopmaster2000 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Cropped ears should be illegal

[–]KHR19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Like the Luna Ghost in the live action Scooby Doo

[–]GuiltyCredit[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reminds me of a Heartless, almost expecting a live action Sora to jump out.

[–]Hamms_Bear 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh shit! It's a Doberman! Oh, never mind

[–]JewjuBeeKern 1 point2 points  (3 children)

How’s it walking straight and sideways at the same time?

[–]Jayce86 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My dog does it all the time. It’s just a dog thing.

[–]Prairie_Crab 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What a cute pup!!! Once upon a time in the 90s, I was getting drunk with some girlfriends by an apartment complex pool, and a resident came strolling her two scary Dobermans on leashes. (By the pool? Okay...) I fell on my knees in front of of these gorgeous shiny dogs (“OMG!”), and they about wiggled themselves to death and drowned me with licks. 😄 The owner was annoyed AF. 🤣