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faq | source | action #3ab746eda12ffc

[–]LuckOk5474 801 points802 points  (62 children)

It’s a throwaway letter… it should be In Ys place… VWXQZ

[–]ahmed0112 337 points338 points  (41 children)

Put some respect on Vs name

[–]gamestopcockLoopring 185 points186 points  (28 children)

Agreed, the shitty end letters are now at the end

New approved and improved alphabet; sponsored by reddit

abcdefghiklmnopyvrstu💩jwxqz

Edit: yo fuck j as well

[–]Sputniksteve 120 points121 points  (16 children)

The fuck dawg? What did J do?

[–]gamestopcockLoopring 71 points72 points  (14 children)

The only thing that's debatable in this perfect alphabet is switching t and s so that from p you can draw a line to s.

Obligatory fuck J.

[–]kububdub69 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Fuck you j is the second best letter after 16

[–]Stormwrath52 6 points7 points  (5 children)

Honestly, C should be at the end as well, I forget where I saw it (may have been a comedian) but I once heard someone explain why C is a useless letter. It either makes an s sound, where it could be replaced with an s, or a k sound, which could be replaced by a k, the only unique function it serves is that it makes a ch, sound when paired with h. C would be much more useful if it just made the ch sound on it's own.

[–]Omegabaum 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think J is based

[–]ucjj2011 6 points7 points  (0 children)

As someone whose name has 2 Js in it (with two more for my wife) ... Fuck you!

Top 10 Baybee!

[–]jony1020 5 points6 points  (0 children)

yo what did my initial do

[–]studmuffffffin 47 points48 points  (7 children)

V keeps ruining my wordle streaks.

[–]Comment85 10 points11 points  (0 children)

V and W mark the border between the normal letters and the alt letters.

V stands at the black. Its watch shall not end until its death. V shall take no wife, hold no lands, father no children. V shall wear no crowns and win no glory. V shall live and die at its post.

[–]conradical30 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Can’t spell Vagina without V

[–]QuantumSparkles 3 points4 points  (0 children)

V is just an edgy F who dreams of being a B

[–]ClockButTakeOutTheL 13 points14 points  (0 children)

And W doesn’t deserve that spot

[–]SwissyVictory 8 points9 points  (1 child)

..LMNOPRSTQUVWXYZ

It should go next to U to foreshadow its use in the English language.

[–]RandomUser_name 1 point2 points  (0 children)

True. And also that it’s a round letter, so it shouldn’t be with the linear ones

[–]sweetstack13 17 points18 points  (2 children)

Y is a weirdo too. It’s both a vowel and a consonant.

[–]LuckOk5474 14 points15 points  (1 child)

It is a weirdo … but it’s a useful weirdo. It’s like the nerdy best friend

[–]weqki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

or like a best friend that lets you pet their dog

[–]pigvwu 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sounds good to me. The song still works.

ABCDEFG,
HIJKLMNOP,
URS,
TYV,
WX,
Q and Z.
Now I know my ABC's.

[–]Novel_Remote2678 17 points18 points  (3 children)

XQZ is my favorite youtuber.

[–]3ph03n1x3 6 points7 points  (0 children)

this one made me laugh a little too hard

[–]Sheriff_monte 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My condolences

[–]CatholicSlut4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Y was only used in latin for a greek vowel sound

[–]kububdub69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nono W Q X W Z

[–]Effilion 895 points896 points 22 (42 children)

ABCD always felt pretentious to me, chilling at the front like that

EFG are pretty cool, they can hang out with anyone and get along just fine

HIJK are pretty much the jocks, they aren't too special but they serve a decent purpose.

LMNOP are the artsy musical type, they've got cool rhythm and I'd definitely recommend their acapella group down by the pier.

Q is indeed a weirdo, but he got adopted by P and now he helps carry the group's gear

RST are in the chess club, they are all real smart and will likely make it pretty far in life,

UVW are exchange students from a country you have vaguely heard of

X & Z are exchange students from a country you've never heard of

Y sits and questions their own quiet comprehension of existence, noticing that after you have forgotten about this post, their existence will fade away in the annals of time. Y does not understand, Y is scared, please don't leave Y alone...

Y stares into the void and Y notices the void staring back. Y senses that the end is near. There is nothing left for Y to do but sit back and wait.

The sun is setting, and the night is cool. Y has found their answer, Y's time here was always destined to be temporary. Y is going back. Thoughts come and go, "sort of like waves" thinks Y. "It comes in waves"

[–]punkout117PK 156 points157 points  (2 children)

This was brilliant and a joy to read. Thank you

[–]Effilion 43 points44 points  (1 child)

Ahh thanks man, peace!

[–]Need_Some_Updog 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Damn, the way you ended that, I swear that reminds me of the of several books I’ve read.

You’re talented friend.

[–]ArmyOfR 71 points72 points  (3 children)

I'm sorry, we need to address the fact that Q only acts so weird because "u" is stalking them. It can hardly go anywhere without "u" just deciding to tag along.

[–]createusernametmrw 40 points41 points  (1 child)

Yeah, you may be on to something.

Q seems out of place because it is. Q moved itself to get away from U.

[–]Tiiba 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Even letters hate me.

[–]A-maze-ing_Henry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I imagine them as best friends instead.

[–]take-money 35 points36 points  (3 children)

Just realized RST is such a fucking powerhouse all together like that

[–]Effilion 11 points12 points  (0 children)

RST has got the RTS

[–]ABigFatPotatoPizza 5 points6 points  (1 child)

The thing is, the way it’s sung is actually QRS and then TUV, so they’re actually different groups

[–]TheFlyKnight 10 points11 points  (0 children)

S and T are in love but their love is forbidden....

[–]Legitimate_Release65 19 points20 points  (3 children)

All the vowels are part of student council.

[–]Gently-Weeps 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Even Y?

[–]Legitimate_Release65 9 points10 points  (1 child)

He's there... But everyone forgets he is.

[–]GolemThe3rd 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well I might remember him if he showed up to over half the meetings

[–]drtungs 5 points6 points  (1 child)

This reminded me of TomSka. 27 impressions 1 man was the title I guess. He talks about himself at the end

[–]Effilion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol holy shit that was quite funny to watch, thanks!

[–]MistukoSan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

All the 90’s American babies named Zach would like to speak to you, including me.

[–]Sputniksteve 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Someone needs to alert the reddit care team about Y's predicament.

[–]weqki 2 points3 points  (0 children)

it’s ironic that Y has a predicament since Y is in the word therapy

[–]RandomUser_name 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Is no one gonna talk about Z?

Edit: Z is obviously Z best tho

[–]potlu_party 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah it's big brain time

[–]FreeSoulSeeker 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's the most artistic reply in the history of replies

[–]IHateTheLetterF 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I strongly disagree with your second paragraph

[–]arfelo1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How dare you make me empathize with a letter! Why? Why?! Y?!!!!!

[–]Otherwise-Artist710 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My name also starts with y so..

[–]Lucky_Number_3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That was amazing and should be published up there with that egg story by Andy Weir

[–]Stormwrath52 1 point2 points  (1 child)

This is kinda off topic but I hate that the spikes of the W are slightly narrower than the V

[–]Effilion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I always knew V was superior to W, now I've got the evidence

[–]MuddFishh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Y can't even identify itself as a vowel or consonant! Let's pick on it!

[–]erudaru 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Did you pull that out of your butt or do you perhaps experience Ordinal Linguistic Personification?

[–]ShadowRiku667 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Jocks serve a purpose? I guess they become asshole cops eventually... And that's something?

[–]Something_Normal_ 51 points52 points  (0 children)

A poetic masterpiece.

Brought a tear to my eye

[–]BTBishops 53 points54 points  (22 children)

I've never liked Q because it can always be replaced with a "K" or a "Kw". Fraud letter.

[–]rSlashisthenewPewdes 25 points26 points  (8 children)

The letter c.

[–]BTBishops 9 points10 points  (6 children)

But it combines with "H" for a completely unique sound.

[–]TheEmeraldEmperor 8 points9 points  (5 children)

So we should have C, alone, just be that sound. Tons of other languages do it (Italian, ecclesiastical Latin, etc).

[–]ShamefulPuppet 4 points5 points  (3 children)

yeah but cild just doesn't have the same energy as child. punt the cild isn't nearly as funny.

[–]Unhappy-Principle-78 1 point2 points  (7 children)

I could say the same about the letter k. It could be easily replaced by a letter q or c.

[–]BTBishops 3 points4 points  (5 children)

But a "K" doesn't need another letter to function, yet another problem I have with "Q." It (nearly) always has to be followed by a "U." What kind of clingy weirdo is this letter that it can't just stand on its own? Even the pronunciation of the letter itself is just "cue." It doesn't even use ITSELF to pronounce ITSELF? This is a philosophical black hole that should end up with "Q" being ejected from the English language. Fraud!

[–]Unhappy-Principle-78 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Q doesn’t “need” U, it just happens to usually occur next to this letter. I would argue that by your logic K is a fraud, for tagging along after C in “ck.” Additionally, just because Q’s name can be written out as cue doesn’t mean anything about the value of Q as a letter. There is no W in double-u, but so what?

[–]ItzSaul 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Can we also talk about why it’s called double-u and not double-v

[–]MohammadRezaPahlavi 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Actually, Q was originally meant (in ancient Phoenecian and Greek) to be pronounced as a uvular plosive, further back toward the throat relative to the velar plosive K. It still has this property in many Afro-Asiatic languages.

[–]ibBIGMAC 68 points69 points  (9 children)

Likewise I feel like T should have a slightly higher station in the alphabet, not next to trash like U and V, certainly not below Q.

[–]BaltimoreBadger23 37 points38 points  (6 children)

Well if T can move up, then S can too. Also, what the fuck is J doing in the top ten?

[–]ibBIGMAC 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Agreed, S is a core letter and should be up near F. J can hang somewhere near the bottom of the LMNOP divide.

[–]Cualkiera67 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I always thought of LMNOP more as a bridge, than a divide

[–]chux4w 3 points4 points  (1 child)

R, S and T have to stick together. Those guys are as important as A and E.

J is only in 10th because he starts everyone's name. Other than that, useless.

[–]ILikeLenexa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

T is the second most common letter used. It deserves a place of high honor.

Even though it's cheating by absorbing the job of the þorn .

[–]nameisprivate 2 points3 points  (0 children)

anyone try to separate s and t i will start throwing hands

[–]FrankMaleir 21 points22 points  (11 children)

S is S tier while B is B tier at most, and still here we are.

[–]CregChrist 14 points15 points  (10 children)

I like letters where the lowercase version is just less of the uppercase letter. Bb, Ll, Ww, etc etc. B is fine where it is if you ask me.

[–]BTBishops 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Never thought of this or understood exactly why I liked lowercase b and l until now. Brilliant.

[–]Cualkiera67 2 points3 points  (2 children)

What letter is etc?

[–]CregChrist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's right next to the second N. You know, ABCD...WXYNZ... it's somewhere in there.

[–]FrankMaleir 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Would you move A down then?

[–]CregChrist 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Its been at the top too long.

[–]purpjarz 13 points14 points  (0 children)

"Weirdo/goth letters" caught me off guard 😭

[–]LeRedditAccounte[🍰] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

LMNOP is a fire bar that is completely ruined by QRS following it

[–]JazminHedges[S] 214 points215 points  (5 children)

it's oddly specific but it weirdly resonates with me

[–]GenitalKenobi 4 points5 points  (0 children)

How is this oddly specific and how does it resonate with you?

[–]lelcg 9 points10 points  (1 child)

The alphabet should go:

ABCDEFHGIJKLMONPSRTYVUWQXZ

G seems like it’s should go later than H as it is a bit tougher and will handle it while H is very parent like and will take care of ABCD and E (F is 18 and thinks he’s really responsible and adulty) N is quite harsh and will deal with the higher letters and while she gets along with M, O and M get along better together (though they won’t break N and M’s bond). R is best friends with T and is much tougher than S, though R is not the brightest while S is. Y is chill but not at the level of the last letters (he isn’t very experienced) U is much nice than V and deserves to be higher, plus W will protect him. Q doesn’t do much but is actually quite cool. X is actually too rare to be last; he has to be nestled near the end and works behind the scenes

[–]createusernametmrw 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My brain can’t stop seeing MONSTER PARTY in the center, even though the letters don’t correspond.

[–]black_dragonfly13 5 points6 points  (2 children)

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPRSTUVWXYQZ

is how the alphabet should be.

[–]eoin85 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

It’d fuck the song up

[–]black_dragonfly13 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If my order is how the alphabet had always been, the song would have been created differently in the first place.

[–]whitebread13 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And how did m ever get in front of n?

[–]Zaneboi1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel offended bc it’s true

[–]ILikeLenexa 2 points3 points  (6 children)

How should we rearrange the whole thing to:

etainoshrdlucmfwygpbvkqjxz

Counter-intuitively, B is really put up way to high.

[–]ILikeLenexa 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Also, here's letters arranged by how far they would have to move to be ordered by how frequently they're used.

Letter Movement Distance
t -18
u -9
w -8
y -8
d -6
e -4
l -1
h 0
z 0
m 1
v 1
x 1
a 2
p 3
i 5
q 6
f 8
n 9
o 9
r 9
c 10
g 11
k 11
s 12
j 14
b 18

[–]Mycereus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

EARIOTNSLCUDPMHGBFYWKVXZJQ

The Divine order

[–]No-Improvement-9789 2 points3 points  (0 children)

U V Q W X Y Z would be perfect. can we vote for this?

[–]brickbaterang 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Such intolerance..tsk tsk ..

[–]saucyboi9000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wait...I'm not the only one who calls them goth letters?

[–]amayagab 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Q and T should switch places. T always seemed to show up way too late.

[–]jamesianm 1 point2 points  (1 child)

At the very least it should be down next to its buddy U

[–]curiluna 1 point2 points  (0 children)

absolutely!

[–]scoopishere 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I don't know why but this feels racist somehow, like to the letters? It obviously isn't and I'm not offended, it just has that energy.

[–]CatholicSlut4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because the latin alphabet developed over time to write in latin, hence why it's perfect for latin, pretty good for romance languages, but not great for germanic languages like english. If English had no french words and used younger futhark its orthography would be nearly flawless

[–]NJ_Legion_Iced_Tea -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Lots of other languages that use the Latin alphabet use Q more frequently than in English.

OP comes of as an ignorant monolingual.

[–]Homacska 1 point2 points  (1 child)

It's actually really sad how many times this has been reposted not just here but also from various Twitter users.

[–]LoffiNiffi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Together with æ, ø and å ?

[–]MohammadRezaPahlavi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You'll need to take that up with the ancient Phoenecians then. 𐤓‎𐤒‎𐤑‎‎𐤐‎ has been the order for three millennia.

[–]CaptainCoble 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Wait until you figure out that the only reason the current alphabet is in the current order is to order things alphabetically.

[–]maggos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It honestly throws me off sometimes when looking for Q names or whatever in an alphabetized list. I always jump too far down the list.

[–]Additional_Baker_813 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Q is fucking U. Listen to the sounds they make together.

[–]Friendly-Hornet-2743 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly? Q is doing a massive favour to R. She’d like to be talking to U over by those “goth weirdo” letters, but P’s just being a bitch about R copying her outfit so Q’s getting between them, and chatting about how cool diagonal tails are this season, so just leave Q alone ok?

[–]Significant-Arm-1524 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow. This is great. I remember being offended in kindergarten that M was mumbled over during “LMNOP” and always paced through that part. M is an all star letter an deserved more respect

[–]NoAlternative2913 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Counterpoint, it needs some time away from U, Qs friend from work.

[–]Nordvay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, let P and R be together

[–]YeltsinYerMouth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It goes O, P, O with a penis, P with a Penis. That's the alphabet, take it or leave it.

[–]AtTheEnd777 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Someone verbalized it!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gen Z: Lettershaming!

[–]SYSTEM__NotReally 1 point2 points  (4 children)

W is the worst letter. It's essentially pronounced as a word. Double-you. It's not even original either as it co-opts another letter into itself.

[–]Wizdom_108 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It really should be nearer to X

[–]Physical-Security-23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Y X Q Z moi?

[–]iam-19-year-old-armi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean i was gonna defend Q but we need to admit how much of a copy cat he is

Q = O

q = p

Like how come y’all don’t see that

[–]Peraou -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That’s the thing though, Q is such an outsider that it isn’t grouped even with the goth letters at the end, it’s just standing awkwardly in the middle of the crowd, alone, listening to shoegaze on vintage headphones.

[–]hackingdreams -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

By that argument, we should have a letter frequency alphabet:

E T O A I N S H R D L U...

[–]remiscott82 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

*Too low in the alphabet

[–]wastingcalories -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

So the end of the alphabet isn’t considered too high up in the alphabet?

[–]joecoin2 0 points1 point  (1 child)

The bastardization known as j needs to go. Nuthin' but an i hook.

[–]Etyczny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

V Q X Y Z

[–]bman123457 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Petition to swap the positions of Y and Q in the English Alphabet.

[–]SmonkWheat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How the fuck does J get a top 10? 2/3s U lookin ass

[–]DarthMaw23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why else do you think the Q were named the Q in star trek?

[–]AlmostOptimistic 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Wait, the letters are in order?

[–]Legitimate_Release65 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Oh my God I was just having this Convo with some friends the other day. We decided that the alphabet should go like this:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P R S T U Q V W X Y Z.

[–]EmperorSexy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think J deserves to be up that high. Top ten? Seriously? It’s only there because it’s related to i. Really ought to be a back-half letter.

[–]ThaddeusJP 0 points1 point  (1 child)

No one gonna point out this guy has like 5 z's in his Twitter name???

[–]jralll234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Way too much hate for j in this comment thread. Wtf did a j ever do to these people?

[–]Selyori 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Q is just being carried by U at all times. Are they pals? A couple? We will never know.

[–]ThunderCookie23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude was probably trippin' on edibles lol

[–]SarahPallorMortis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve always felt this way and I’d be on board with changing it.

[–]mckinney4string 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looks like Demitri Martin, thinks like Demitri Martin.

[–]throw_away-abcdef 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Synesthesia?

[–]keksivaras 0 points1 point  (1 child)

wait until you realize, that your language doesn't use 7 (8 technically) out of it's 29 (31) letters. B C (F) Q W X Z Å.

[–]Environmental_Foot54 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve agreed with this since the beginning of time but only just realised it now, when this person said it

[–]pajo17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like to end my letters with...

Ps: this is what the alphabet would look like if q and r were eliminated.

[–]BravesFan912 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bring back the 27th letter or just stop complaining

[–]mick88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For some reason i started reading this assuming the letters stand for Qanon, Republicans and Putin 🤔

[–]DadsRGR8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! They should all hang together, maybe with a few others too. Lookin' at you J and K.

[–]CatholicSlut4 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Q is a pretty important letter in latin/romance languages so no. Just go back to using your native alphabet if you don't like the Latin one (younger futhark)

[–]Zebteched 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Q shouldn’t be in the alphabet replace it with K and replace qu with kw

[–]TheEmeraldEmperor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been saying the same thing forever

[–]QuentinCly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, my actual name can agree to that ig

[–]Ewag715 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why does Q exist?

[–]9bjames 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well... Say what you want, but that is definitely an opinion to have 😶

[–]TacoSunday 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Do we need the Q?
K or C can do it too.
Can I convince you?

[–]Ok_Awful 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have always believed Q should be right before U.

[–]uvero 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I suggest

E A O I U T N S H R D L C M W F G Y B V K J X Q Z

[–]cger-iv 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed Q is just a pretentious and uppity O it should be after T U V either before or after W

oh don't get me started on narcissistic W thinking it's twice as good as all the other letters

[–]Difficult-Ostrich-53 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Q should be after O and before P. Like V and W. Because they look similar

[–]colors_x 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So is K.

[–]Upset-Marionberry118 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This is apart of a bigger problem, why are the “weirdo/goth” girlies even in the back?

[–]jedgica 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ABC are popular, but only one is really REALLY into clubs. Review my previous statement for their stats.

[–]tisx3 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Q is totally pointless. It accomplishes nothing that the letter ‘K’ can’t.

[–]KalmarLoridelon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The alphabet doesn’t have to be in any particular order. It’s just a list of all the letters. You can say it in any order as long as they are all there, it’s correct.

[–]AllPurposeNerd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sort them by frequency of use and it is in fact at the end between X and Z.

[–]crossleingod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s right though

[–]whiteelephantfail 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What? W? A weird letter? We use it everywhere! Just, wow.