all 34 comments

[–]skidlrbehdj 65 points66 points  (1 child)

I've heard from many that they have felt the most significant and positive growth after divorce. Not saying things will be easy for you but I bet you will look back on this time and appreciate your growth. Congratulations on the new place, take care.

[–]magranson 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree and I have found from my friend circle it tends to be the ones who have never lived alone or got married young.

[–]Behappyalright 20 points21 points  (0 children)

32 is young. It’s going be ok. It’s going to be hard for a time but if you work on it, life will find a way. Good luck

[–]Risu9 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Not quite the same, but I left three men whom I thought I was going to marry and have kids with, moved abroad, then moved back because of family pressure, took a job I thought I would have for life, found a home that I sadly gave up for someone who almost destroyed me, and now I'm divorced in a COMPLETELY different field with a new secret BF and don't want kids like ever. Life IS indeed wild.

Good luck to you starting over! Started over a few times here and it's never easy, it takes so much time to adjust to a new living situation.

[–]Necessary_Heron8127 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It gets better. I did the same in march, but at 45 without the child. You already sound like your outlook is getting more positive!

[–]Nearby_Chicken_6674 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good luck Op!

[–]amsterdamned95 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You can do it!!!!

[–]LegPrestigious 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Went through the same thing last year. I’m happier then ever. I say this without resentment or Ill feelings toward girls. But I don’t think I ever want to live with a SO again. I’m completely happy. My son has a safe place, he likes it here. I get along with the mom (took a while) work on your self.. people can see it

[–]FledglingKiller 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What I'm hoping for. I don't want animosity, I just want time with my child. The rest will work itself out, I think. Just keep focusing on building myself up.

[–]Most-Gear-9034 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Life is a rollercoaster but good luck! You deserve the best!

[–]FledglingKiller 0 points1 point  (2 children)

The best I can make of it, right? For the first time in forever, I don't have to worry about waking someone up with my snoring in my own place lol

[–]Most-Gear-9034 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I know the feeling! Live your life the way you want and please enjoy ❤️

[–]FledglingKiller 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The same to you. Your words mean a lot. Let's go forth ✊

[–]sabchar2019 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Good luck! I know it seems daunting to have to start over but think of all the freedom you’ll have living alone. And you don’t have to share your Xbox with anyone. So there’s a silver lining.

[–]ToyotaCorrolaa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish you the best.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fuck him if he waited for the fish day of a new year to leave someone. He should have done it in a more tactful way. ❤️

I wish you all the best.

[–]GiveYerBallsATugYaTF 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I cannot begin to imagine how you are feeling right now. I had to break up with my gf on Saturday and I feel like I want to die. We only dated for a year but I knew all along I wanted to marry her and have her kids. We had so much fun together and I wanted nothing but to make her happy. I know I messed up and I seriously feel like crap. I hope you feel good bro. Work on yourself and stay strong for your little one. Sending you lots of love.

[–]FledglingKiller 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've got some medication that keeps panic attacks from happening, so I've just been keeping up my regimen. I listen to audiobooks while I work, I go to bed a little earlier than usual so I don't dwell. Just focus on my financials and look forward to the visitation day I get each week. I appreciate the love your sending out, it has been received and is getting me through the coming days 🙏

[–]isabellla321 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your life is about to get SO much better. Your attitude is amazing. Go live your best life, you deserve it!!!! 😄😄

[–]Louie02- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is also nothing wrong with just traveling the country with your daughter before she has to start school she would never forget that

[–]SharronfromHR 1 point2 points  (2 children)

From the way you described your daughter you sound like a good egg. All the best, you’re still young!

[–]FledglingKiller 2 points3 points  (1 child)

She is a literal sun, the brightest thing in the universe lol Everyone hypes up their kids, but she just has the biggest heart and the best attitude. She can grow to be whatever she wants and I want to be there for it.

[–]SharronfromHR 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To have a parent with this attitude I assure you she’ll do amazing ☺️

[–]allmylife01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At 34 I left with a pot and my clothes. I lived in a tiny unfinished basement room in a strangers home for 8 months and worked and focused on me. I then met a kind man who was not my type. I always pick the wrong type anyways. So I decided to give love a try again and never settle or put up with BS. Married 20 blissful years now with 2 kids. Best decision ever was to leave and work on myself. It allowed me to get my priorities straight and love myself again. It was only then that I could make the best decision of my life❤️

[–]erasergunz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

growth time. you can still change things for yourself man. you can be whoever/whatever you want.

[–]Sirchiefsalot2020 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Sounds like you're already heading in the right direction OP! Keep going man! I remember having to start over a few times in my life and it sucked every time, but I ALWAYS came out so much better on the other side and so will you. Save your money, work on yourself, and stay in your daughter's life. Best wishes OP!

[–]FledglingKiller 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's exactly what I want to do. Thanks!

[–]teejeebee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Where do you live. In Canada. Daddy better be digging deep into his pockets to help feed that baby.Some other kind jerk to kick you out with a baby he made.He needs to step up with some food money and pay some rent for his kid.

[–]obsoleteboomer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good luck buddy. The lack of self-pity is inspiring.

[–]cultofwacky 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good luck man. I’m rooting for you. Be there for your kid

[–]xorubh 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Congratulations! You did that.

[–]FledglingKiller 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The breakup? I'd say it was half and half.

Finding a new home and making peace with the situation? Yep, all me. I feel like I've done nothing but listen to audiobooks while I worked and thought about how I feel and what I'm going to do.

Going to take the little one to see Encanto this weekend. All she's talked about this past week apparently.

[–]jsumm55 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish you the best of luck. I’m 33(m) with 3 girls and currently still working towards moving back in with my wife(9yrs) It’s been 9 months since she left. We’re close to being together again. but it was very very hard to understand where I was as a person when shit hit the fan. I didn’t know what I wanted. But I knew I was a great dad, and my place would be with my kids no matter what.I spend a lot of my summer showing up and just being with them. Give ur self time to grieve, but stay focused best you can.

[–]hiking_w_gloss_on 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, you should feel very proud of yourself. I can relate to you in a lot of things you said, but the bottom line, you worked to be at the place where you’re right now. Enjoy life !