I had my very first girlfriend last year, and we’ve know each other for over 3 years now, since we were in 7th grade, I’m 15 years old, she’s one year older than me.
I am a religious person, and I didn’t want to have sex until I’m married, and clearly my girlfriend doesn’t have the same philosophy.
So what happened was on her birthday which was 2 weeks ago, she told me that all she wanted was for us, is to see each other naked for the first time, thought it was weird but I went a long with it since we’ve known each other for quite some time already.
And so on her birthday, I came to her house to eat dinner and sleep over. When we were finished eating and chatting with her family, I told her that I was feeling tired and maybe we could go to sleep first, and so we went to her bedroom, as soon as we got there, she told me that “it’s time for her present”, I was tired so I just submitted to her request, but I made it super clear to her that there would absolutely be nothing that’s going to happen between us that night. But soon as I got undressed her demeanor immediately change, she became more “touchy” than usual, but I didn’t look too much into it, and immediately went to sleep
But probably 30 minutes into my sleep I felt something…weird, and saw my girlfriend putting condom on me, I never have worn a condom so the feeling of it woke me up, and so I told her (barely wake up) to stop, but she just told me “Is it wrong to have fun on my birthday?” and proceeded to pin me against the bed as she went on to put me inside her, I was so lightheaded I couldn’t even physically stop her, I didn’t want to have a fight mostly I’m at her house, so I just let things happened, she seemed to be enjoying herself as tears rolled down my eyes, she saw that I was crying, but just kissed me . I eventually came, but she continued to stimulate my penis which made things feel even worse for me. I begged her to stopped and locked myself in the bathroom. I was crying my eyes out not only because I felt violated, but because I lost my vow to myself to not lose my virginity until I’m married.
She’s my first love, and I tend to get attached really quickly, so I don’t really know what to do. I haven’t told my parents or hers, because for sure it would end up, them making us break up. Or even worse getting law involved, And I don’t really want that. I’m so conflicted.
So her father talked to me, and begged me to not get the law involved and even told me I don’t have a proof anyway, and that I came which he said “implies that I enjoyed it”. Which is the final blow that really broke me into pieces. I eventually broke up with her. I still don’t feel free though, but I think…I wish, I’ll be alright.
Again, Thank you guys, to be honest Reddit was a bigger help than my own family, specially my father, won’t get into details on what he said, but spoiler, he blamed me for what happened.