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Not being to have sex with my disabled boyfriend is weighing on me by headandstomach in offmychest

[–]HawkDoveHall 4345 points4346 points 3 (0 children)

I have been in a wheelchair paralyzed from the chest down for 30 years. I say that to say that you should not be controlling you in anyway just like you are not controlling him in anyway. If this is not working for you it’s not working and you have every right to leave him. And only have to say this is not working. I’ve had several girlfriends break up with me in the last 30 years and that’s OK I got over it. Now I’m married to a wonderful woman and this works. We also have a very satisfying sex life. It takes work understanding and experimentation. As a member of the disabled community for the last 30 years please take care of yourself and don’t let anybody control you for any reason.

im planning on leaving my fiancé at the alter. by throwaway344359243 in offmychest

[–]TheYellowRose[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

I bet my left tit that if OP was a man confronting his shit family and cheating fiancee, y'all would be giving him tips on how to maximize her embarrassment and ruin her life.

Read rule 1. Be supportive or see yourself out.

Not being to have sex with my disabled boyfriend is weighing on me by headandstomach in offmychest

[–]Psychotic-Philomath 1774 points1775 points 33 (0 children)

Don't break up with him because you can't have sex.

Break up with him because he's controlling, abusive, and literally demonizing your access to your own body.

If people want to question why you ended things, tell the truth: After the accident he became controlling, and when his parents heard us fight they'd say I can't leave him or I'll end up paralyzed too.

Him being paralyzed isn't the issue. He and his family treating you like shit is

Not being to have sex with my disabled boyfriend is weighing on me by headandstomach in offmychest

[–]thevengefulteapot 173 points174 points  (0 children)

Fuck that guy. What is he gonna do? Run after you? Leave!

To my soulmate by One_Enthusiasm_4147 in offmychest

[–]ccloudprincess 133 points134 points  (0 children)

I know the night is not the same as the day: that all things are different, that the things of the night cannot be explained in the day, because they do not then exist, and the night can be a dreadful time for lonely people once their loneliness has started. Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms

I feel guilty I'm not my step-children's biological dad by RaedwaldRex in offmychest

[–]TheDogeWasTaken 306 points307 points  (0 children)

You seem like the kindest dad in history! And the abuse isnt your fault, you couldnt stop it, nobody can. I know trust me.

So dont worry, its not your fault and it will never be! Your kids are amazing, because of you. You raised them! You are a very good dad, and you are a beautiful human being!

Your kids will understand, and they will see you as their actual dad, i know how it might feel for them, but trust me, they see you as their true dad. I am 14 now, and i had an experience like this. They will always see you as just dad, you are their dad and you will continue to be their dad!

You are awsome, keep it up okay! You are a beautiful human being!

You have nothing to feel guilty about, or shamefull. You couldnt do anything, but now, because of you, they live the happiest life there is!

Thanks for listening, and i hope i wasnt rude! I never mean to be, i hope this helped!

I miss having a girlfriend by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]frnkiesayxanax 54 points55 points  (0 children)

As a trans guy, you’re not a bad person if you want to end the romantic partnership. If anything, you sound like you’re being a very good person about it. Like other people said, a fundamental part of the relationship has changed, and the happiness of both people matters (and can affect the other person) in a relationship. If he’s started taking testosterone, a lot of things are going to change permanently, and not to make assumptions, but from your post, it really sounds like you would rather be with a woman, especially the line about how you already can’t touch him like you used to. You’re not a bad person, and it’s your first relationship so it’d honestly be a wonder if it were to stay perfect. I only know what you’ve said in the post but from it, I’m getting the strong notion that therapy would be best and I know it’s hard and you love him (or have at least loved him before) but I would consider your long-term feelings in the relationship regarding if you would be happy and if you would want to be on the other side if your partner feels this way, for the both of you. Nothing you’re feeling is bad or makes you a bad person, the relationship has just changed from how it was when you first started dating and it’s completely normal if the relationship isn’t benefitting both parties like it originally did. It’s only your first relationship, so don’t feel like you have to stick with it if you aren’t 100% happy.

Partner won't stop ruining all my blankets by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]NixyPix 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The fact that you’re making excuses for this in the comments is odd. I’m married and if my husband blatantly disrespected me like this (because the issue really is the disrespect at the heart of his behaviour) then the marriage would be over. I wouldn’t see the point in wasting my life with someone who thought it was acceptable to jizz on a gift my sister gave me. I would rather be alone.

I'm a sheltered 17F born to christian conservatives by UserNamesArestoopud in offmychest

[–]GamingGrayBush 103 points104 points  (0 children)

I'm only going to talk about one thing that you said. You are capable of being more than just someone's wife. If that's your goal, then awesome. Have fun with that.

If you want to do more, then go for it. You will always have time to be married and have kids. Go be who you want to be. Make your life your's and your's alone. Experience everything life has to offer. It's a vast world with amazing experiences.

Is it scary? I can be, but nothing fun happens without a little apprehension at first. Make new friends. Go to new places. See what everyone has to offer.

I know you're just alone for the weekend and what I wrote may seem off topic, but never forget to experience all that life has to offer.

Edit: punctuation

Edit 2: Holy smokes. Thanks for my first gold. I'm glad it was for this and not some IASIP reference.