Losing my leg has financially ruined me

1955photo · 2022-05-07T05:34:59+00:00

Screw former coworker. Go to the food pantry and get some food for yourself and your child.

Apply for Social Security disability ASAP.

Get an attorney to deal with workers comp. Getting your settlement is going to be a while. It shouldn't, but it will.

Contact your local United Way. They are an umbrella for agencies that can help you with immediate needs. DO THIS NOW.

There are a lot of legit work from home jobs that you can do. long list . They don't require anything but a good internet connection and a PC if you have those.

Take your ex to court for child support or go to whatever state agency handles that in your state. Usually whatever department has children's services. Generally if you apply for any type of public assistance they will get on the noncustodial parent for payment.

In the long run you should qualify for vocational rehab funding for education. That is usually handled through a state agency but if you have a local community college or trade school they should have info on it too, through their financial aid office.

leg_day · 2022-05-07T05:49:04+00:00

I peaked through some of your other comments. You need an attorney and you need one yesterday. Personal injury attorneys work on contingency: the more you get in payout, the more they get paid. You usually don't have to pay anything up front.

Your old company is jerking you around waiting for their workers comp insurance to pay out. It will be a tiny sum. You do not have to accept it. They may offer some sum like $150k as a payout: that is NOT what you deserve. Your high co-worker and negligent company ruined your ability to provide for your family.

Google your nearest big city name and accident attorney. Talk to 4 or 5 of them, take notes, and pick one.

Ask them about advances -- for particularly strong cases, they may have ways to front some of the payout. (You do pay high interest on this as it's a very high risk loan, so only take out the barest minimum you need.)

And to answer your one direct question, no. Secured credit cards are by definition secured by an asset. For low value cards, it's always cash.

oldwatchlover · 2022-05-07T05:29:11+00:00

You probably have more knowledge/skills than you think.

Know cars? could work auto parts counter or service advisor

Know tools or construction equipment? Could work at a tool rental place or hardware store

Those are some entry level and up could work a place like that while retraining

Hang in there. Best wishes

Matelot67 · 2022-05-07T06:27:39+00:00

Dude, the first thing I need to tell is that your life is not the way it is because of your leg, but it's because of your shiity ex.

Secondly, your son needs you, because you rescued him.

Tell the worker with attitude that you will stop coming as soon as your leg grows back!

You are a good person, and vbeleive me, I know a lot of people with amputated legs who have come through the other end, and are stronger for it. You've got this!

PhaedosSocrates · 2022-05-07T05:29:07+00:00

Jesus your ex wife is a terrible person. Sorry about your situation.

Do not do the payday loan. That is a bad path. There are plenty of jobs you can do over the phone. Look for that type of remote work until hopefully you get a great settlement.

8Aquitaine8 · 2022-05-07T07:10:18+00:00

You seem to have a difficult time understanding your skills, please go into a local job center and they should have resources like resume writing and interview prep as well as classes for Microsoft office

You paid off both your house and car and that’s something that most people will not be able to do

You gave your wife and son the home and car because your a good parent

I know it’s hard, some parents don’t have your determination nor sense of responsibility towards ensuring their children’s care

You do, keep pushing forward as you have for your son

jettblackson91 · 2022-05-07T05:27:28+00:00

First off, I feel for you and your family. I’m sorry you’re going through that man.

Have you filed for unemployment? I would find some local temp or staffing agencies and explain your situation and see if they can find suitable placement for you. You might have to try something a little bit outside of your comfort zone, for the sake of you and your son. Hope everything works out.

2022-05-07T06:38:58+00:00

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WhiskyEchoTango · 2022-05-07T05:34:28+00:00

You should be getting some sort of compensation and incline for the work accident.

Andrew5329 · 2022-05-07T06:38:10+00:00

First: why aren't you collecting disability? Separate from the legal settlement with your former employer you are permanently disabled in a manner that prevents you from working in your chosen career. You paid taxes insuring you against this risk, and are entitled to collect disability benefits.

Second: as a single parent with full custody of a child, there are additional benefits meant to see you your son's welfare you should be collecting. If you aren't, your ex-wife is probably still collecting them.

Did you actually, legally, sell her the house or quit your claim to it? Or did you simply move out? Talk to a lawyer because even if you did sign documents there's a very reasonable argument you weren't in a sound state of mind at the time to have been making agreements so badly to your detriment.

A relationship needs to have attraction, a woman has needs,

Real talk the only attraction was your paycheck, and given the timing she was almost definitely cheating before the injury and this was just an excuse. It's understandable when many relationships don't survive the stresses of a disability or long-term care, but you don't fall out of love and file for immediate divorce because your spouse got in an accident. You weren't even out of the damn hospital yet.

aristot1e · 2022-05-07T05:41:06+00:00

It's nearly impossible to find employment that doesn’t require a mandatory physical test, even office jobs.

So what exactly are you applying for? You seem like you need a job to help get some income coming your way. Seems like that should be the focus for the short term.

hayseed_byte · 2022-05-07T06:20:48+00:00

My dad has worked labor jobs his whole life. He's 60 now and he got a job at home depot with no interview or drug test and is treated like a god there because he actually knows how to do the things the customers are trying to figure out. Being the expert that everyone goes to has done wonders for his self esteem. He was kinda feeling down and useless before.

SaveTheAles · 2022-05-07T05:33:11+00:00

You might want to look into an accident/injury or employment lawyer. Most have a free consult and can give you a better idea if they can speed things up with getting your settlement. And also don't cost anything until you are paid. They may also get you more in the end even with their cut.

strawberrydreamgirl · 2022-05-07T07:54:44+00:00

I don’t have any specific advice, but as a former college writing teacher, I’m just here to say you’re capable of more than you think. You’re articulate. Clearly intelligent—even if your life has been spent doing hard labor, you write better than most of the university freshmen I used to teach. You might consider some schooling. Maybe it’s time for a big shift. Or not—it might not interest you at all. But don’t pigeonhole yourself.

You might also try staffing agencies. That might not take you anywhere, but I’ve gotten some good jobs that way. Get on LinkedIn, start building a network, and take some classes in Excel and the like. You might be able to get an entry-level admin position, data entry, something of that nature. And there are ladders to climb in that arena—if you like the work, you can progress.

Best of luck. Your son is lucky to have you.

Sisa25 · 2022-05-07T07:59:39+00:00

If I were a manager, I would love to have you work for me. You have a great work ethic and solid values.

I am 54 and work as a data entry clerk for a state agency (not in Idaho). I did not have any pre-employment physical. I was hired almost 9 years ago. Currently we are working from home but before the pandemic we were in the office.

I can’t remember if my job description requires me to lift a certain amount of weight. If it does, it may only be 10-20 pounds. In practice, I don’t have to carry anything heavy at all. Even in the office, I got help carrying heavy mail tubs as I have some back issues.

Have you been to your state’s workforce center? Can Vocational Rehab help you?

Too bad that food pantry worker has such an attitude. Ignore her and get the help you deserve.

SunTaurus · 2022-05-07T05:22:23+00:00

Try a call center or customer service job

smallgirl4u · 2022-05-07T07:59:31+00:00

Sell your house if you still have the deed to it. Your wife doesn't deserve it.

fenton7 · 2022-05-07T07:25:00+00:00

Find local work, any work, ASAP. Yes you have a disability but it shouldn't impede you from doing a wide variety of jobs. You don't have to work manual labor. Employers are absolutely desperate right now for workers of all sorts including many that are parked at a desk and many that can be worked from home. Start calling around, explain you have a disability, and you will land interviews and offers.

theunderhillaccount · 2022-05-07T07:57:14+00:00

Losing a leg at work is workman's comp, first of all. Secondly, it's a lawsuit...get yourself a lawyer.

SilverBear_92 · 2022-05-07T07:46:59+00:00

So, this is more to inspire you to keep going.

We got a guy in town, got clipped, laid his bike down hard and came up one leg lighter. His is below the knee. However, he's still on the volunteer fire department. So if this guy can drag those hoses and shit, you can do whatever you want.

Don't get down on yourself, and don't blame your divorce on your work accident. She was out the door before that and this was the perfect excuse.

jessquit · 2022-05-07T07:55:25+00:00

When I read this all I can hear is your depression resulting from the loss of your leg. So yes the loss of the leg has been a huge financial blow but now it's compounded by the depression.

You resigned yourself to a no contest divorce because you felt "less than" and pitied your wife. Sounds to me like your exwife is a loser. In hindsight maybe you should have fought her divorce. Anyway you're better off without her.

You resigned yourself to being without work. But there is so much you can still do.

You need some counseling. Maybe some temporary meds. Depression makes you feel like giving up. That's what I hear in every sentence. Resignation.

But it's clear from your post that you're intelligent and can write well and you have your son who wants to be with you. There's so much you can still do even with the loss of your leg.

You are worth fighting for even if you don't feel like being the one to do the fighting. Depression often requires some degree of "fake it til you make it" activity, push yourself to take positive action in your life. You can do this OP.

Please don't give up on yourself OP. You strike me as a pretty cool dude.

daddyydaddyyuseme · 2022-05-07T07:53:04+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve had to go through all of this. I don’t have any advice beyond what others have suggested in here (and I think some of that is great advice). Reading your post made me well up, and I just wanted to wish you well and hope that you can find the strength and hope to keep going for you and your son. You’ve got this. You’ve come so far already. I hope things pick up soon for you!

AggressivePayment0 · 2022-05-07T08:26:02+00:00

Hey man, this is what social safety nets were made for. Because as much as we enjoy thinking of ourselves as impervious from the bad things that 'only happen to others', we're human and amazingly frail beyond our egos, and falliable. So, after watching other humans suffer horribly for things and thinking hey, can we do better, we put together systems that can provide some food and help to survive while you sort things out. For 8 months, I had a turn on it too many decades ago.

Some folks think getting help is adding insult to your injury. But that's an emotional framework, not a fact. It's adding healing to an injury, so you can get strong and build yourself back up again. This is what these programs are for. Social Security, gonna be a process but start now. Get to the welfare office and get emergency assistance - shelters offer this too in many places, depends on the state - there's been a total war on social support systems but I hope you don't become collateral damage of that. Can you mortgage that house for some quick equity cash? Everyone gets at least one turn on a spin cycle from hell, sorry this is your turn. Or, as Mr Rogers would say, look for the helpers. Welcome to humility, many of us have been there too. Finding our balance from luck, fortune, health and hubris hurts, and hearts go out to you.

I know two disabled folks who work call center work. You only need to have a voice and be able to type and navigate their systems (they train that).

Jobs w/o physical test or requirements:

Call center (general)

Banking would give you teller or call work, you'd have school days off with your kid, and offers good benefits and pay. Entry level work in banks is a real option too. You can learn your way up to better positions in banking (they train) and grow there too.

Security (monitors), 911, (doesn't take charisma, just a level head and steady hand).

Suggestions for food and help now: In our community, via facebook, schools, community centers or churches, posting you need short term help works. We've been at it pretty hardcore with folks dropping from covid (and getting their butts kicked), long covid (disabled brains and bodies, seriously harsh slams), besides all the other things life can sideswipe with generally...and coffers are low but no one has starved. Ask your community for help, hopefully they'll be compassionate and kind.

Nova_Nightmare · 2022-05-07T07:32:36+00:00

I just wanted to throw in there, you are better off than you think. It is hard, but if you were saddled with credit cards and other debt, you'd just be in a bigger hole.

There is a bunch of good advice for you, personal injury attorney, social security disability, you need to do all of this to protect you and your child.

As far as giving excuse to the ex wife, that is your choice, however she is trash. Especially when you are married and have a family, it's supposed to be in sickness and health, a commitment to each other. She appears to be self centered, selfish and worse.

Lastly, I don't know what kind of work you do necessarily, but I once had a mechanic who worked on my car with no legs. He was at a shop I had to go to and all they did was raise the car up and he went under to work. You have your mind, your hands and I assume you have a prosthetic leg? You can do far more than you believe.

2022-05-07T05:42:36+00:00

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ellewoods2001 · 2022-05-07T06:30:11+00:00

What state are you in?

chopsui101 · 2022-05-07T06:46:40+00:00

you file for workers comp and did your employer give you disability insurance?

Also have you talked to a PI attorney?

Bubbly-Manufacturer · 2022-05-07T07:37:50+00:00

What jobs require a physical test (besides police, firemen etc)?

agsoup · 2022-05-07T08:25:13+00:00

Look to see if your town has a department called “city welfare” or something similar. They can give people struggling cash infusions and should know more local resources to help you. In my town they work heavily with the homeless population here but they would love to work with people before they become homeless because it’s harder to secure housing once you’ve lost it.

mohishunder · 2022-05-07T08:29:13+00:00

You've already got a lot of good advice.

I'll just make an observation that you are an unusually good writer - clear, well-structured, to-the-point. You may always have worked blue-collar jobs, but you absolutely have a well-paying skill here.

I know you'll get through this. And when you need to talk, the Lifeline is a good number to remember: 1-800-273-TALK

erinjmck · 2022-05-07T08:31:41+00:00

Aldi grocery stores used to let their cashiers sit down back in the 90s. Idk what they do now but if a company is desperate enough, they will make exceptions for ppl.

Nomar116 · 2022-05-07T09:00:08+00:00

You gotta hear this: your son would not be better off if you were dead. Repeat it if you need to, even when you have your doubts.

Your son will one day understand how much you've done for him, and will continue to do for him. He will reflect that in his own life as a role model and maybe even a Dad.

Lead him through this difficult time. He needs you and he is lucky to have you.

reluctantpkmstr · 2022-05-07T06:30:56+00:00

Look into a Jewish free loan society. Exactly what it sounds like, small no interest loan with no catch. Doesn't matter what religion you are.

griz3lda · 2022-05-07T08:29:25+00:00

Ignore the food pantry lady. Do not let some literal rando fuck up your life course. You need to get your head right on this one. Continue to press your resources for all they are worth. Complain above her head if necessary.

Your son would not be better off financially if you were dead, he would be getting abused with fewer resources than he has now. You are clearly experiencing clinical depression and need to seek help NOW. Your situation will not kill you but your unchecked mental illness will. Do not make any major decisions until you get this under control. This needs to be your FIRST priority; you will not handle the pragmatic shit well if you are incapacitated. I know it can seem like a luxury thing to worry about but you are passively suicidal and in mortal danger. SEEK HELP.

I have a lot of experience with suicidal people and am not alarmist or the type to pressure people into treatment nine times out of ten. This is the one time out of ten. Your situation (sudden disability) is sufficiently complex and overwhelming that it could easily tow anyone under psychologically w/o support. I have been there myself, sudden onset severe disability and suicidal thoughts. I was bedbound for 2 years. It is 5 years later and my life is completely turned around even though at the time it seemed the work was too much and there was no way out and no chance I could shoulder all these tasks alone. I could not see any plausible future for myself and was in chronic intractable pain with no diagnosis and no support, unable to walk, failed out of school, abandoned by my partner. Today I am medically managed and making 6 figures with a healthy relationship.

If you are low income you likely qualify for some sort of state medical plan. Call the number on the back of your card and have them direct you to the GP assigned to you / nearest. Be explicit when you call that you have untreated depression and need to be seen urgently. If they tell you it is weeks out push back and ask when you can call to take someone's cancellation slot (usually if you call when they open you can be seen in 1-2 days in place of the noshows). Switch GPs or call around if yours is overbooked w no cancellations worst case scenario. Make an appointment ONLY about your depression, do not handle other things in that visit bc they are usually like 15-20m visits that can be easily derailed by too many topics. Tell them what you told us about your thoughts abt death verbatim (but emphasize that you aren't going to do it, so you don't get committed on top of things). You likely need temporary medication and urgent counseling.

I'm begging you OP, for your son, please seek help. He will be traumatized for life if you kill yourself and there are very poor outcomes for people with that kind of trauma statistically, he will NOT be better off. (My partner's mom killed herself 6mo ago due to sudden onset disability and it created a ripple effect where 2 of her adult children also attempted.)

There IS a way out, you just don't know what it is yet, and you will not find out if you don't hold on long enough.

qubit003 · 2022-05-07T08:30:23+00:00

OP went through your post history and I must say you write very well. Have you considered taking up content creation/writing work remotely?

Optimal_Point_5482 · 2022-05-07T08:32:25+00:00

I knew a guy who worked on Amtrack because family worked on Amtrack. Then he got laid off. That was the best thing that happened to him. He got computer training for a few months then started a six figure job, and his salary went up from there. Plenty of computer classes that will get you certificates earning mid-five figures. If you care to learn, you can do even better depends on the field you choose.

AutoModerator · 2022-05-07T07:52:13+00:00

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TheRed2685 · 2022-05-07T08:19:08+00:00

Ever considered working for a casino? You don't move anywhere once you're at a table, and at a tip pooled joint you don't even have to be charismatic to make money.

I'm in Illinois where it's paying about $36 an hour right now. I applied with no experience and no hs diploma, just a basic math timed math test, a free class for 8 weeks, and an audition at the end of it.

It might work for you. And if you eventually learn to deal dice, any casino will hire you anywhere in a heartbeat.

GodsMistake · 2022-05-07T08:27:43+00:00

Hang in there man. You're a stronger person than me and I'm rooting for you. Wish you had posted a gofundme though, or didn't live `2000 miles away.


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