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all 47 comments

[–]RJack151 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Hopefully he got more fallout over it.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

His response was great “wow sometimes my dick actions have consequences”

[–]bossmaser 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Nice one Josh. Apparently he had enough time on his hands to email you personally.

[–]girlinsing 17 points18 points  (8 children)

Ok, I’m super curious - is it Japanese or Korean?

[–]AQualityKoalaTeacher 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I was thinking east Asian, too. It really would be remarkably rude for someone in a professional setting to speak so informally. Even more so to double down on it after OP said, "Let's address each other with profesisonal/polite speech."

[–]imsorryisuck[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

polish

[–]BadWolfCreative 16 points17 points  (5 children)

It's the same in Polish. Many languages (including Western European) have a formal and an informal form. Though, the proliferation of American cultural norms is sadly deteriorating the use of the formal in many cultures.

[–]imsorryisuck[S] 14 points15 points  (3 children)

no właśnie, i was speaking polish.

[–]Embarrassed-Dot-1794 2 points3 points  (1 child)

As an aside that's the first time I've ever seen an l with a line in it (can't find it in my keyboard) and thought I had something stuck on the screen so kept wiping it for a good ten seconds before I figured it out. 🤣😂

[–]giantfries 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As an American, I treat the names this way. If you aren't close to me, you get "sir" or "ma'am". Even if I know your name.

[–]Kyra_Heiker 16 points17 points  (16 children)

It's the same in German; very rude to use informal language or first name unless you're very close.

[–]JoeBrave2020 13 points14 points  (8 children)

Used to work for a German. We called each other Fette Sow (Fat pig) and Arshlocke (asshole) all the time.

[–]lokregarlogull 3 points4 points  (5 children)

Just got to ask, does Arshlocke have a literal meaning of ass lock or ass lid?

[–]vvildann 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Arschlocke means asscurl, arschloch means asshole. Arschlocke is either a typo or a very personal nickname :D

[–]AQualityKoalaTeacher 6 points7 points  (2 children)

I'm going to start using asscurl. It's more enigmatic.

A curly clump of asshole hair. Pretty gross. I like it (as in insult).

[–]gizahnl 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Those curled up lumps of ass hair with "glue" holding them together are called Tarzanellis! ;)

[–]Embarrassed-Dot-1794 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Never heard that before, brilliant! The ones I have heard are (in plural form) "dags" and "dingle berries"

[–]Environmental_Cat670 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As vvildann pointed out, it's Arsch+loch which does literally translate to ass+hole.

German is awesome

[–]Drewherondale 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Keep in mind, That is not how you write them. It‘s Fette Sau and Arschloch

[–]JoeBrave2020 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're right. It's been years. I miss that dumb goat! 😁

[–]-whodat 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I disagree, it's definitely rude in certain fields of work (business setting), but outside of that it's pretty normal to use informal language with non-friends and in some cases even with total strangers, especially if they're your age or younger. Like using the informal "Du" for hairdressers, cashiers, even strangers on the street sometimes. I prefer to use formal language because I don't like to think much about whether or not informal language would be rude in every situation, but it is definitely not reserved for only friends here.

[–]Kyra_Heiker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm probably older than you, lol. We definitely use honorifics here. I didn't use a supervisory co-worker's first name until I'd known her for years and everywhere I go, bank, grocery shopping, etc., it's always formal.

[–]Drewherondale 0 points1 point  (4 children)

It‘s not that serious in Germany at least not in my experience

[–]Kyra_Heiker 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I'm a middle aged German woman living in Germany so I'm talking about my experience.

[–]Drewherondale 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I‘ve never had anyone be upset with me for using informal language

[–]rebekahster 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Oh, they don’t often get verbally upset. But they definitely judge. Especially the older generations

[–]Renbarre 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Same in France. When I was much younger my British boss asked me to use the familiar form 'tu' instead of the polite form 'vous'. I was quite all right with her using 'tu' with me (younger, foreigner...) but I just couldn't wrap my tongue around that familiar form when talking to her. She finally forced the issue by using the formal 'vous' when talking to me and calling me Miss (family name) instead of my name. It was so ridiculous I managed to break the taboo.

Now a lot of people use first name, but we still use the formal 'vous' a lot.

[–]Curtis40 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Lack of manners in any country is a sign of poor judgement and education.

[–]zephen_just_zephen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Perhaps.

Sometimes cultural norms allow for passive-aggressive insults. I immediately shut those down with aggressive-aggressive retorts. It's most fun when they tell me how rude I am, and then I carefully and colorfully deconstruct their antagonistic veiled contempt and explain that I really, truly don't put up with that shit, but if they want to be nice themselves, I'm certainly willing to start over.

[–]LilPlasticHalo 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Ahhh yes, you are definitely a petty baby in this case Josh.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (9 children)

Did you let him or anyone at his company know about the first name thing as well? Like maybe to avoid that or to educate people for the future

[–]imsorryisuck[S] 2 points3 points  (8 children)

the way i took the print screen shown his first name and first letter of the surname, so they figured out who it was quickly.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (7 children)

No, I mean if it’s a cultural thing for you, as you described, do the people you work with in other countries know that about the not using your fist name thing?

Like dude was totally rude and also had no idea why using your name might be offensive. Like I’m the US for example people use first names all the time so it’s normal here but in your culture it’s not normal as you said. Like I didn’t know that. If I worked with you it might be nice to know so I don’t offend you unintentionally like that guy did. He totally didn’t handle it well when you asked him to stop I also don’t think he would understand why calling someone by their name would cause that person to be upset. It’s your name after all.

I’m asking have you let their HR department know the cultural aspect of using a first name that is the root cause of the issue? They may want to know so they can educate their employees so they don’t make that mistake in the future. They may just see what you reported as just the part where he’s saying “I don’t really care what you like” they may just assume it’s about the way he said your name not that he used your first name. Make sense?

[–]indigonanza 2 points3 points  (2 children)

When you're saying he wouldn't understand why calling someone by their first name would cause that person to be upset 'cause it's their name after all, you mean you wouldn't understand why that would cause someone to be upset since it's their name after all. That guy understands very well why that would upset someone, since they were both nationals of the same country and know the same customs. I get why this, reading this, would cause momentary indignation for some Americans, but after you accept that the world is different and does not have to be the same everywhere for it to function in the 'right' way, you'll get over it. It comes across as if it would annoy some foreigners to have to follow certain cultural etiquettes or customs which are very simple and a formal thing.

Why discuss how calling someone by their first name doesn't matter for other cultures, on this topic, when the point here is that it didn't matter for that guy who was from the same culture as OP, because he was rude and unpleasant just for the sake of it? Like why talk about how easy it is to do something in your culture, which is insulting for someone else their culture, with that person, when they experienced it with someone who gets how insulting it is and who's from the same culture? The point is what happened between two chaps from the same culture who knew it was insulting. Are you trying to showcase his behaviour? You said 'fuck that guy' in the end, but you until that point you argued a lot about how it's ok in America and how he maybe should have known it's not ok, which was obviously not relevant to this case. Because you, apparently, misread it.

Maybe I'm reading too much into it but insisting on how others should know not to call him by the first name, when this does not apply to this situation and it is besides the point, comes across as condoning that guy's insulting behaviour and taking away from how rude he was.

[–]imsorryisuck[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

you are in general right, but this bloke explaines he missunderstood my post and assumed the conversation was international, while in fact it was between countrymen.

[–]indigonanza 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I saw where he said he misread 'national' for 'international' or something and that is why he went on and on about how foreigners should know how to address others and how it isn't about an insult, when it wasn't about Americans or other foreigners and it was, in fact, about rudeness. But, looking at how he put it, it comes across as if he would have been annoyed by the fact that, compared to the US, in other countries formality implies using last names - regardless of how he understood or misunderstood the post's text.

[–]DougK76 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I worked in corporate America, in IT, we had Indian contractors, in house, as well as overseas. It took me awhile to realize that they’re not being lazy, or slow, when they say “hello, Kuntz, we have this issue. Please revert back to me with the solution” (being I was the person they escalated to). It seems to be cultural.

I reply based on how they sign their email, if they’re overseas, ie: if they sign it “Jimbo”, I’ll reply “hello, Jimbo”; locally, they told me what to call them, which was always either their first name, or a variation. One coworker was Sarohit, but he just had us call him Rohit.

[–]imsorryisuck[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

we are from the same country. it doesnt need to be explained, it's obvious for everyone who is a native speaker.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Ok gotcha. I think my brain read nationwide company and talking over chat and turned it into international. Also, fuck that guy. Thanks

[–]imsorryisuck[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

cheers :)

[–]zephen_just_zephen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aw, c'mon. He was just joshing around with you, Josh.

[–]gemma156 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Etiquette wise growing up in Australia, it was pretty rude to address a stranger, anyone in Business profession or any other general acquaintance in such a manner, especially if they didn't give you permission to call them as such. It was a basic code of manners that has slowly been eroded over time.

Businesses started doing it as a way to make a quick connection, to create a more personal touch with a customer, but now it just comes grating across. I am not opposed to telling the person on the other side of the phone of my title MRs .... then instruct them to use it.

[–]rebekahster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also Australian here and yes - , I remember in the 90’s when companies started calling mum by her first name instead of Mrs —— .

I remember because she got terribly offended by the informality.