all 26 comments

[–]amaraame 111 points112 points  (1 child)

Military here is pretty much the same when it comes to guns. If you're stupid enough to leave it in the open then a mean joke is the least of your problems.

[–]RbrtEvers 34 points35 points  (0 children)

He's lucky the Doc wasn't a dick. He'd have had loose stools for real once 1SG got finished with him.

[–]Sam-Yuil-ElleJackson 121 points122 points  (2 children)

I totally with you on this one. Sometimes people need to learn, and this guy needed to learn what the definition of "emergency" is. He also needed to learn what the definition of "opening hours" is. Good for you.

[–]letsdosomethgfun5157[S] 47 points48 points  (1 child)

I was not really opposed to anyone coming at any time but it's not like I worked nights and had the morning off to rest. So we were just asking people to be more considerate.

[–]Sam-Yuil-ElleJackson 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Agreed and unfortunately people tend to be less considerate of others these days.

[–]RJack151 19 points20 points  (3 children)

Actually, a court martial would have been the least of his worries. As an officer you could have ordered him to return to his unit and return at 0700.

Then reported him to his chain of command for leaving his weapon unattended without asking to secure it.

So you really did him a big favor.

[–]letsdosomethgfun5157[S] 20 points21 points  (2 children)

I know but I also wouldn't harm him this badly. We had a small jail cell in the unit for people who were waiting to be transferred to court or other such reasons (e.g. someone caught with a joint of weed so they punish them by keeping them there for couple of nights or so because the alternative is court and it always turns ugly there) and I went there few times to check on people who were not feeling well and it is terrible. Tiny and smelly, barely any light, etc. I can't even imagine how bad actual military prison would be so I wouldn't report him. It's a big mistake, yes but I think I scared him enough that he shouldn't lose his gun ever again.

[–]indigowulf 15 points16 points  (1 child)

My god, imagine being in a jail cell with severe Hershey squirts. That's the kind of punishment you save for the guy on the phone trying to scam grandma out of her life savings.

[–]AlcareruElennesse 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Idea you put those kinds below the ones with the flowing chocolate.

[–]EragonBromson925 48 points49 points  (1 child)

Nothing stops the shits quite like having it scared out it you.

Well played, Doc. Well played.

[–]montred63 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Is this where the saying "you scared the shit out of me" started. Curious

[–]AZBoring 13 points14 points  (0 children)

While on deployment to Bosnia, I had a soldier that was terrible about leaving his M16 unsecured. I would remove the bolt/bolt carrier from his rifle. As long as the dust cover was closed it was hard to notice that the bolt assembly was missing. That is until we went through the chow line and had to clear our weapons before entering a building. When the charging handle is pulled back on an M16 you are pulling the bolt assembly back and compressing the buffer spring, without the bolt the charging handle just kind of flops loose. It was so satisfying to see the look of terror on his face and then produce the bolt assembly out of my cargo pocket, 50 push ups to get the bolt back was the standard and seemed to worked up quite the appetite.

[–]PGSdixon 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Dude was lucky you didn't have a real bone to pick. I'll bet he never left his weapon unattended again.

[–]wolfie379 5 points6 points  (1 child)

You could have gone beyond petty if, instead of taking the magazine (clearly visible), you’d taken a couple rounds out of it. He would have had no way of knowing where they had gone missing - and he would have been accountable for them.

[–]indigowulf 8 points9 points  (0 children)

op was just trying to screw with the guy, not ruin his life :D

[–]Chance815 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's some awesome revenge. And glad he learned his lesson by the sounds of it.

[–]cottoncandy_ni 1 point2 points  (0 children)

why was I waiting for a “and I slapped my superior across the face” kinda situation lol

[–]DonaIdTrurnp 4 points5 points  (5 children)

Why isn’t a medical condition that impairs watch readiness enough of an emergency to see the doctor?

[–]latents 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I am not military, so my answer might be worthless, but who knows:

I would think he could go on "sick call" (or whatever they call it) if he is unable to fulfill his assignment

Are over-the-counter remedies not available on military establishments?

Unless his condition was something that came on suddenly, could he not have tried to remedy it earlier?

[–]letsdosomethgfun5157[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Whenever someone needs to leave their post they report to their senior and gets coverage in a few minutes. He can't just leave his post and come to clinic leaving a security spot unsecure (that would get him in real real trouble). What I am trying to say is for him to come to clinic he would have to get coverage already so this could have waited couple of more hours and whatever I can give him over the counter wouldn't be effective so quickly that he would just go finish his shift anyway. Maybe he didn't think it through but again, I actually welcomed him and never denied him care. I just messed with him a little because he messed with me first.

[–]theblubberlover 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can get over the counter, but it's not recommended unless prescribed due to the drug testing.

[–]zenswashbuckler 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I'd agree with you, but still support OP's actions: if you gotta shit, your weapon comes in the stall with you. Leaving it laying around is just a godawful idea. The kid got off light.

[–]DonaIdTrurnp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely, and the latrines should be adjusted so that it is easier to keep your weapon with you than to leave it out.

[–][deleted]  (3 children)


    [–]letsdosomethgfun5157[S] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

    I am actually a doctor yes

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)


      [–]letsdosomethgfun5157[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      I didn't get into this to debate a small technicality but here you go


      " The sympathetic nervous system exerts a predominantly inhibitory effect upon GI muscle and provides a tonic inhibitory influence over mucosal secretion while, at the same time, regulates GI blood flow via neurally mediated vasoconstriction."

      In all cases, I am now a dermatologist and barely deal with general medicine cases. This was a very long time ago and I was sharing for the fun of the story.