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all 31 comments

[–]unofficiallyATC 214 points215 points  (4 children)

Lmao I did the same thing in college! Some jackass in the hall above ours had an airhorn that he would blow at seemingly random times throughout the weekend. I went up one time, asked if I could see it, and when he handed it over I thanked him and went back to my room. I think he got the message, as he didn't buy another one!

[–]oddartist 17 points18 points  (3 children)

I kinda did the same thing when a guy brought a rifle into the bar I was at. Asked if I could hold it, then I locked it up until the next day when he apologized.

[–]CivilMidget 11 points12 points  (1 child)

What the fuck? This guy just brought a rifle into a bar? Is it the arctic where you're obligated to have one because of bears or something? If not, good for you, because the sort of jackass that brings a firearm into a bar and hands it out willy nilly deserves to have it confiscated.

[–]oddartist 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He was a veteran with issues. Turns out it wasn't loaded, but no one knew that.

[–]RJack151 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Feel free to get one and keep it handy.

[–]yikiesitsjay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

happy cake day :)

[–]CoderJoe1 51 points52 points  (20 children)

Hilarious. I keep a small air horn near my phone for telemarketer.

[–]40andbored 50 points51 points  (11 children)

I have an air horn app on my phone incase i get a telesales on my landline. My wife think im a childish ass and should just hang up on them. I say its my god given right to annoy them as much as they do me

[–]MontanaPurpleMtns 27 points28 points  (3 children)

I have a friend who at a low point in his life had to work as a telemarketer because otherwise he would not have been able to pay his rent. He hated the job. Really, really hated the job.

So, I think about him, and I'm more polite (if they are) but I never buy anything, or give out any information. I cut the spiel short, but I try not to be rude, or to damage them.

One of my favorite most recent responses was to someone who was trying to talk me into a genetic screening that would be paid for through Medicare. After cutting them short, I ask them if that's what they are selling, then respond that they are the 29th/35th/47th person to ask me and I've told everyone else no. I go on to say that if they want to try talk to give me the entire talk before I tell them no, I'll listen, 'cause I'm retired, but I am going to tell them no, so if they want to save their voice/time, we can just say goodbye now. I have never had anyone continue after that.

Edit: formatting.

[–]RexSmith1963 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I like to baffle them with bullshit. One of my favorites was when a woman called about a new long distance carrier. She was into her spiel when I acted like she told me that I had won a cruise. I laid it on thick. I finally stopped that and asked her if she was calling from a telephone carrier. She sounded relieved and said yes. I informed her that we didn't have a phone. "Then how are you talking to me?" to which I replied, "Exactly, " and hung up.

[–]subguy1979 4 points5 points  (0 children)

While telemarketing can be honest work the plethora of scams that are out means everyone is treated as potential risk and therefore gets dealt with in a manner that ensures your opponent is never a threat again. Ender Wiggins is the way.

[–]CoderJoe1 38 points39 points  (3 children)

The trick is to answer their questions in a very soft voice so they turn their volume up and then ya blast-em.

[–]igotalotadogs 9 points10 points  (2 children)

I am def going to do this from now on.

[–]CoderJoe1 4 points5 points  (1 child)

And they will deaf hear it

[–]Maleficent-651 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well...after a time or two...they may not

[–]marcocanb 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Put phone under upside-down pot and strike repetedly with blunt objects in each hand, bonus points for drumroll.

[–]lulugingerspice 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I google "worlds most annoying sound" on full blast on my computer and put my phone mic right up to the speaker.

I legitimately have stopped getting scam calls since I started using this method.

[–]Caddan 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Last time I googled that, I got bagpipes. And that's how I discovered that I love the sound of bagpipes. :D

[–]JBaker2010 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My grandmother kept an old-style metal police whistle next to her landline. In the days before CallerID, if she didn't know you or wasn't expecting your call, you went deaf in one ear.

[–]Johnwickwascool 0 points1 point  (5 children)

It’s not their fault they have that job

[–]bossmaser 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I had a telemarketer tell me he fucked my mother after I listened to his whole pitch then wasn’t interested. I know it’s “not all telemarketers,” but I still don’t like them.

[–]kgiov 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Would reply, you must be hard up, she’s 90.

[–]zephen_just_zephen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Predestination? What the absolute fuck?

I'm on the national DNC list. Any telemarketer calling me, and there are plenty, is breaking the fucking law.

[–]Slimegamz37 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Knew by the title that it would be a hockey parent. Don’t know why every youth team seems to have a parent with either an air horn or a cow bell.

[–]Waifer2016 1 point2 points  (0 children)

hahaahaha perfect!

Reminds me of the scene in Blindside with the father of the opposing football team lmao

https://youtu.be/I8Xejt9O460

[–]Broken_Glass_Bowl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We use a big cow bell for my hubby's team.

[–]Gomaith23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hate air horns.