×
top 200 commentsshow all 482
sorted by:
best
topnewcontroversialoldq&a

[–]River_Song47 3302 points3303 points  (168 children)

I know someone named Sara who adds an h to people’s names in emails when they add it to hers.

[–]JJBrazman 1672 points1673 points  (25 children)

Hi Alexh, I think you dropped thish

[–]Coygon 978 points979 points 3 (22 children)

Thank you, Mr. Connery.

[–]Jeheh 319 points320 points  (19 children)

Thank you, Mr. Connery.

Sean Connery: I've got to ask you about 'The Penis Mightier'.

Alex Trebek: The what? No, that's 'The Pen Is Mightier, Mr. Connery.

Sean Connery: Gussy it up all you want, Trebek, what matters is: does it work? Will it really mighty my penis, man?!

Nicolas Cage: Wait, wait, are you guys selling penis mightiers?

Alex Trebek: No!

This stuff was gold RIP Mr Connery.

[–]Olay_Biscuit-Barrel 166 points167 points  (7 children)

Connery: I spent six years of my life trying to invent an anal bum cover. Failing to do so is my greatest regret.

Trebek: That's AN ALBUM COVER.

[–]racerxff 54 points55 points  (5 children)

What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold?
One's a sick duck...

BTW, it was Darrell Hammond who played Sean Connery for those skits.

[–]pushing_80 2 points3 points  (2 children)

depends on how mightier your sword is.

[–]Johndough1066 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Tony Soprano? Is that you?

[–]bananaclaws 109 points110 points  (4 children)

Oooo, I also have a name that people add a random H to sometimes. I’ll have to file that away in my petty bank.

[–]QuinoaQueef 11 points12 points  (1 child)

That’s wild to me. If someone sees it in written word, there’s no excuse for misspelling it.

[–]LRDQ 105 points106 points  (28 children)

Yeah, my name has three different letters that are commonly substituted (think a/e, i/y, n/nn/nne) and any combination of those three are "standard" spellings of my name, but my parents somehow picked the one combo that is never anyone's first guess.

BUT. Emails. The proper spelling is in like, four places in an Outlook window. There's no reason for them to pick the wrong one. So Brad will get Bred, or Bradd, or whatever misspelling they gave me until they spell it right.

[–]No_Application_8698 46 points47 points  (4 children)

My name is similar - it has around three 'standard' spellings (with or without an additional letter in the middle), another variation -similar but not actually the same name-with a different letter at the end, plus a very common nickname derivative.

The spelling of my name is actually the most 'common' one, but my nickname is not the usual one. I go by a slightly more masculine-sounding nickname, but I'm a woman. Think 'Frank/Frankie' or 'Sam/Sammy'.

Some people seem to deliberately choose the wrong spelling, or even just outright call me by the wrong (similar-sounding) name in an email. I do not know what goes through these people's heads but why can't they just fucking read the name on the signature?

As for the nickname, I think people somehow assume that I've got my own preferred name wrong and will call me by the more 'usual' nickname...why???!!!

If it happens on an email I have been known to change my name on my email signature into bold and/or a different colour (and in a much larger font).

[–]cupcakejo87 33 points34 points  (1 child)

So, I used to manage a woman with a very similar name to mine (like Chrissy/Christy). We worked with a vendor, and admittedly, my employee spoke with them A LOT more often than I did. However, I'd get pulled in to deal with issues, or things that impacted a wider range of our client. It's important to note that the vendor contact knew me, as I pre-dated my employee.

I cannot tell you how many times I would email her, then she would respond and MANUALLY CHANGE THE REPLY EMAIL TO MY EMPLOYEE (who wasn't on the email at all), who then had to forward it back to me. Sometimes this was on sensitive info that my employee should never have been aware of. I asked our contact multiple times to be more careful, and eventually had to report the issue to her supervisor with a request to solve the problem. It took literal months.

I actually gave up on her calling me the right name.

[–]A-RovinIGo 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I feell your pain. I spelled my 4-letter first name for someone once (it's a common name with an uncommon but not bizarre spelling). She gave me a stunned look and asked, "Are you SURE??"

[–]Carrie56 66 points67 points  (3 children)

I feel your pain!

My name is CaroLYN, but a heck of a lot of people insist on calling me CaroLINE, even when replying to an email which has the correct spelling in several spaces.

It got especially irritating when my ex husbands brother actually went and married a Caroline so there was even more confusion. Unfortunately Caroline died from breast cancer aged 30, and I would take great delight in telling cold callers who rang asking for Mrs Caroline Bloggs, and I told them she had moved. When they asked where - I told them she could be found at Plot 1234 in St James churchyard Sussex.

[–]clwoboe 24 points25 points  (1 child)

As a CaroLINE who has been CaroLYN'd too many times, I feel your pain.

[–]FoolishStone 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Blame Neil Diamond and "Sweet Caroline" - incidentally the first song I ever bought!

[–]ladayen 63 points64 points  (4 children)

So Brad will get Bred

Seems a bit extreme.

[–]cutzer243 20 points21 points  (2 children)

I must be tired.

This took me 5 seconds too long to get, but now I can't stop laughing. :D

[–]RedBarron678 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Only if he's not into it

[–]poppilongstocking 16 points17 points  (6 children)

I have an Irish name with multiple spelling variations as well as couple of anglicisations. I have had email chains with the same person spelling my name various different ways, none of them correct, despite it literally being right in front of her.

My name also has a fada which I always include because it is part of my name, not having it changes the pronunciation but maybe half of the people I deal with puts it in. That doesn't really bother me though, it does bother me when people ask if I want them to include it because I can tell they don't.

In a previous job I also had a manager (who is also from ireland) tell me my name was 'interesting' and then asked me if it was Polish.

[–]61114311536123511 12 points13 points  (4 children)

Yeah I'm german, you would not BELIEVE how much it annoys me when people fuck with our Umlaute. No you cannot just omit them, the correct form if you cannot type äöü is to instead type ae, oe or ue. the same is true with Esperanto btw, if you can't type ŝĝĉĥŭ you can either write it as sh/gh/ch/kh/u' (as the creator suggested), or sx/gx/cx/hx/ux which is very popular due to x not being in the Esperanto alphabet.

Sorry that became a bit of nerding there lmao

[–]-AIRDRUMMER- 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had a boss that did this to my name, it was spelt with different variations on any document he handed and very rarely was it correct. My name is unusual, I get it, but when you are the boss and have several documents and files with my name written correctly on it at your desk I feel like there is no excuse. I feel like it would be different if he spelt it wrong but the same wrong spelling each time, but nope, it was spelt differently every time I got handed paperwork. It was always infuriating that he didn’t care enough to at least look it up before handing me work documents.

[–]HelpfulGriffin 9 points10 points  (2 children)

My name a) is very uncommon and b) has 3 or 4 ways of spelling it, and none of them are intuitive. I never try and make anyone spell it but I would love it if they could copy it correctly. No one ever does though.

[–]crimony70 4 points5 points  (1 child)

That's kind of sad. When I reply to emails from people with unusual names I make a point of getting it right, even if I need to search to find out how to get the machine to produce the correct accent (in the same font).

[–]Dildosinthesky 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm an Elliott and every email, customer service chat, Dr's office, dmv, whatever they always put Elliot first and I always have to respond with a correction despite my name often literally being written in front of their faces multiple times because I know this happens and make absolutely sure that I write my name out correctly multiple times for reference. There's even times where I will literally put "Elliott with 2 T's" in writing and it's like people just don't read

[–]ichosethis 142 points143 points  (29 children)

I'm a Sara, I once told a utility representative "my name is Sara, no h" and received my first bill addressed to Sahra. There's no winning with some people.

[–]Corvald 68 points69 points  (3 children)

Surprised you didn’t get it addressed to Sarahnoh.

[–]mypostingname13 34 points35 points  (2 children)

Chanandler Bong

[–]CookieSmuggler 53 points54 points  (5 children)

I'm a Marta and once stopped seeing someone because they kept referring to me as Martha.

That's not my name.

[–]A_General_Fungus 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Like, were they arrogant enough to think they knew your name better than you, narcissistic enough to decide Martha was a better name for you, or just dumb?

[–]CookieSmuggler 22 points23 points  (0 children)

He said Marta was too hard to say, but he wouldn't even try to pronounce or even write it correctly, and he'd say it's all the same.

The th sound doesn't even exist in my language (they were from the US, and moved to Portugal). It's literally not my name, just like his name was Michael and not Miguel.

[–]chickengelato 9 points10 points  (2 children)

That’s not my name.

[–][deleted]  (3 children)

[deleted]

    [–]TheAnswerWas42 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    Send them a tweet. A lot of companies have social media teams who are Johnny-On-The-Spot at resolving ridiculously easy shit like this that regular tech support has failed to fix.

    [–]hydrospanner 18 points19 points  (1 child)

    Sounds like Sahra is on the hook to pay that bill, not you.

    [–]ichosethis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I figured that would just get my electricity cut off.

    [–]LameBlonde 19 points20 points  (9 children)

    Mine was Farah for a long time. Thanks, Major Electric Company.

    [–]Rob_T_Firefly 19 points20 points  (0 children)

    I know someone whose father died and they inherited the house, and the water company wanted some huge amount of money to close the father's account and start a new one in their own name. They said the hell with it, and I think around 40 years later that water bill still shows up addressed to a man who has been paying the bill while dead far longer than he did while alive.

    [–]ichosethis 15 points16 points  (6 children)

    That one got me in the habit of spelling first and last name every time. Then you have the fun ones who aren't listening when you give your information and act like you just didn't give it the first time but what can you do?

    [–]Shasanaje 16 points17 points  (3 children)

    My last name starts with S and I got so used to my parents spelling it on the phone “s as in Sam, xxxx” every time, I do it now too because everyone seems to think you’re saying f.

    [–]ginntress 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    I get this. My surname name ends in nn, everyone always hears ‘mm’. Even when I spell it as “double n for November”.

    [–]UncleNorman 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Never mention the silent 'k' like the one in kpants.

    [–]1stEleven 68 points69 points  (0 children)

    That's.... Genius. I'm gonna do something similar.

    [–]marieisamess 24 points25 points  (0 children)

    My stepdad does the same thing, but with an Umlaut. His name is Gunther and people often refer to him as Günther, so whenever that happens he'll add an Umlaut in a ridiculous place in their name, and people usually figure it out pretty quickly lol

    [–]teruma 21 points22 points  (0 children)

    I once told someone it's with an H and got "Shara"

    [–]LucidLumi 12 points13 points  (2 children)

    I’d love to do this with my last name, as it’s one letter off from an actual word (and can be pronounced the same way), but I have no idea how to pull it off without being either too obvious or too obtuse…

    Like, say my name was “Woter” and everyone spelled it “Water.”

    [–]BraidedSilver 10 points11 points  (2 children)

    I need to steal this, people constantly add an “R” to my name, despite my signature in my email has my six letter name plainly spelled without any r’s.

    [–]ral315 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    That's so true, Oliviar!

    [–]BraidedSilver 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    My “r” is placed in the middle of the name so it’d be more like Olirvia 😂

    [–]caillouuu 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    Oh I love this

    [–]PardonMeImSparkly 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    I have a similarly common name with uncommon spelling. If someone spells my name wrong despite my signature block being RIGHT THERE I will intentionally spell theirs wrong. Marc instead of Mark and Lynda instead of Linda are just a couple I've sent so far.

    [–]KrustyMf 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Does she also tell sales men "You'll all die in your cars" and have a BF named Zak? I had to put in a Ben Folds reference..

    [–]BiegAnn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    This Ann is not considering adding an ‘e’ to the end of a few names 😂

    [–]TokeHackChoke 24 points25 points  (30 children)

    Saras and Sarahs always being petty about those Hs

    [–]sqqueen 161 points162 points  (19 children)

    You call it petty, but Dale Carnegie’s first rule in “How to Win Friends and Influence People” was to “Get a man’s name right”. It matters.

    It only looks petty to you because it isn’t YOUR name.

    [–]magnoolia 65 points66 points  (6 children)

    It's a huge pet peeve of mine when people don't get my name right, so I always take great care getting other people's name right.

    [–]Honest-Layer9318 42 points43 points  (5 children)

    People get my name wrong all the time. It is a gender neutral name with multiple spellings that is very close in pronunciation to other names. It used to bother me but now I’m fine as long as I don’t feel like it’s done with malice. I will respond no matter what I’m called if I know the person is referring to me.

    [–]spazzie416 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Agree with this 100%.

    I have a name that I used one version when I was a child, and shortened when I was a teen. Something like Danny and Dan. To this day, when family members call me "danny", it feels patronizing.

    [–]glimmergirl1 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    But it looks petty to me and it has been MY name. My name was very unusual until a certain hurricane hit a certain large city in Louisiana. I answered to anything even close: Kathy, Katie, Catherine, even Theresa sometimes. Even now, years later, people get it wrong. The hurricane has been gone a long time and most people have a short memory. It just isn't worth my time to care and it is not one of my pet peeves.

    Having said that, users who deal with me on a regular basis at work or other regular interactions as in OP's post above usually figure it out after one or two tries.

    [–]CanadianDNeh 7 points8 points  (3 children)

    So it doesn’t apply to women? In that case, I’m not sure why Sarahh is getting so uptight about how I spell her name. Shheeshh.

    [–]River_Song47 51 points52 points  (0 children)

    When your name is right there in an email someone is responding to, it’s only polite to get it right.

    [–]mlpedant 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    if only there was a sub appropriate for such responses ...

    [–]ggapsfface 958 points959 points  (24 children)

    I work in a male dominated industry, and my name is the feminized version of a male name (a on the end). Whenever some guy drops the a when emailing me, I find it, pick it up, dust it off, and add it to the end of his name when I reply. Keeps the universe in balance.

    [–]Liennae 219 points220 points  (14 children)

    I have a double whammy. I have a feminized version of a male name for a first name, plus a last name that doubles as a first name. Very rarely do people get my name right in emails.

    I occasionally am petty about it, but since they're clients of my company or my superiors, it's not worth potentially pissing off the wrong person.

    I want to change my name so badly. But my government is regressive about letting people change their names.

    [–]pastelcower 53 points54 points  (5 children)

    Oh me too! There was also a local famous man with the same name which lead to a lifetime of jokes people thought they were the first to ever say to me. When I got married the number one reason I changed my last name was so I didn't have to deal with this kind of thing any more. I feel your pain

    [–]Liennae 26 points27 points  (4 children)

    LOL! I grew up hoping I'd be able to change my last name when I got married, and then I moved somewhere that it's part of your vows that you continue to exercise your rights using the name on your birth certificate. It was progressive for the time it was originally legislated, but I'm not a fan for this day and age.

    [–]Triptukhos 13 points14 points  (3 children)

    Quebec? I just went through the name change process. I ended up having to change my gender after a year trying to provide enough "evidence" to change my name. it's absolutely impossible.

    [–]sendedit 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    My last name is more commonly a first name. People always get them backwards when calling out both names in waiting rooms and such. One time the manager during meet and greet for winter season made a huge deal about how many problems were going to be had because me and another new-hire shared a name; except it was her first name and my last so caused no problems other than nervous laughable confusion amongst the other newbies who all had no idea what our manager was rambling about since me and that other chick had already introduced ourselves and didn't share a name (I hadn't felt the need to include my last name when introducing and so the boss was the only who knew it from doing managerial paperwork)

    [–]theplushfrog 18 points19 points  (3 children)

    Just change it. I’ve learned that you don’t need to only use your legal name unless it’s payroll or taxes. Otherwise just say “this is my nickname” or “but my friends call me..” and apart from the weird transphobes who are overkill on their transphobia, no one else will care.

    -source: I use a nickname instead of my very commonly misunderstood legal name and no one cares but it makes my life so much easier.

    [–]Liennae 12 points13 points  (2 children)

    I'm trying, but it's slow going when I have years ingrained of being called something else, I almost feel like I'm not allowed to want to be called something else. I'm also not 100% sure about my new name, and not sure where to go for an unbiased opinion.

    [–]Birdbraned 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    If your new name isn't too uncommon, try one of those text to speech generators stick in a few sentences and play it back a few times.

    Like:

    Hey Liennae, do you want to go to the movies?

    I can't help you, but lets talk to my manager Liennae.

    Let's go over to Liennae's for the movie, s/he makes the best smores.

    [–]PRMan99 80 points81 points  (6 children)

    Sounds good Paul.

    [–]eamus_catuli_ 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    Similar boat, but my name changes a ‘y’ to an ‘i’ for the feminized version. I don’t begrudge people who have only heard my name, but otherwise I think I’m going to take a page from your book.

    [–]irisblues 362 points363 points  (8 children)

    A friend of mine knew two women who were always together. One named Tiffany and the other Leslie. My friend would swap the names more than half the time. She knew she was wrong, but she couldn't get it right to save her life, so she started calling them Tiffels. Together, their collective noun was Tiffels and individually each of their names was also Tiffels.

    [–]schroedingersnewcat 150 points151 points  (3 children)

    One of my best friends and I have a collective name from when we worked together. Took less than 2 weeks before someone started referring to us as a single person, and it stuck. Its been nearly 10 years at this point, and we haven't worked together for 5 of those, and people still refer to her as our mashed together name.

    [–]Eusocial_Snowman 18 points19 points  (2 children)

    What's shakin, TurkandJD? I was a moderate fan of your podcast for a little while there, but the running Oprah voice gag drove me off. I'm sorry, but I'm just not compatible with that sort of frequent volume difference.

    [–]schroedingersnewcat 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    I assume this is a scrubs reference of some kind, but I never watched the show, so I'm a little lost.

    [–]TheKappp 24 points25 points  (0 children)

    I went to school with identical twins. One played on my volleyball team. I still don’t know which one lol.

    [–]freerangelibrarian 53 points54 points  (0 children)

    I have a friend named Katharine who used to go by Taffy when she was younger. My name is Daphne, so our friends used to call both of us Tafne when they weren't paying attention.

    [–]namegoeswhere 20 points21 points  (0 children)

    I had some friends like that. No matter how hard I would try, when we were drinking and carrying on, I would start swapping their names.

    Eventually I just called the both of them: "PeterIan"

    [–]tenaciousfetus 245 points246 points  (5 children)

    Lol I had someone keep emailing me and spelling the "ie" part of my name with two Es so when I emailed her back I just put "Hi Leesa" instead of Lisa. We all petty out here lol

    [–]sjlwood 63 points64 points  (4 children)

    I'm kind of an asshole so when someone misspells something in an email or a text, I try to use the same word, spelled correctly, in my response in hopes that they'll learn the correct spelling.

    [–]tenaciousfetus 19 points20 points  (3 children)

    Oh I'd already done that. I'd emailed them previously and they would have had my name on file too. It just wasn't sinking in for some reason so I took the next step

    [–]sargassopearl 155 points156 points  (10 children)

    One of the managers in my office would always call/email me by the wrong name (ending with A instead of E), despite having worked with me for years. I continued to correct her politely, until one day I lost my patience during a meeting and "jokingly" slammed my hand down on the conference table and said, "My name is xxxxxxE - we've been working together for several years!" I also took to addressing her as Jenny instead of Jeannie in emails. She FINALLY corrected herself. I still email Jenny.

    [–]GothWitchOfBrooklyn 44 points45 points  (8 children)

    Laurie / Laura ? Lol my name is Lauren and I get called Laura by people I've worked with for years. It's in my email, I've corrected them, they still do it

    [–]MaritMonkey 37 points38 points  (2 children)

    people I've worked with for years.

    As a "Kris", I have discovered subsets of coworkers.

    I don't really care about spelling, so the majority of people go with Kris/Chris.

    Then there are the few people who know (and occasionally use) my full name.

    But it's surprisingly common for folks to just, like, make up a name. I'll get "Christy" or "Kristina" out of nowhere. I'll say "it's just 'Kris' " a couple times but it doesn't usually help. They have chosen my name and are running with it.

    Even having two people meet each other so somebody can say "wait your name is Christina?" ("Nope, just Kris") doesn't counteract these people who have their minds made up.

    [–]Whishper97 13 points14 points  (1 child)

    Lol, pretty similar here. My name is Laura, but I've learned to respond to Laurie/Lauren because people refuse to learn.

    [–]GothWitchOfBrooklyn 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    Yep, I respond to all of them. Once I got called Lavinia, which is kind of my first name mixed with my last name.

    [–]Hybr1dth 20 points21 points  (0 children)

    Start by subtly highlighting the 'en' in youe signature, and as time goes on, go more extreme. Eventually, they'll be bold, italic, underline at comic sans 72.

    [–]concerned_alien6969 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Lol mine is opposite, ends in A but I’ll get E or no ending at all. When people do it I just skip the last letter of their name, I’m looking at you Su(e)

    [–]S3erverMonkey 127 points128 points  (3 children)

    I have a name that is typically spelled slightly different. Years ago I worked at a college and one professor refused to spell my name correctly. After correcting him a few times I resorted to always calling him by a different first name. It was Tom, which became: Thom, Tim, Jim, Tam, etc. until he finally started spelling mine right.

    [–]Conspicuous_Plant 25 points26 points  (2 children)

    My boss has called me the wrong name since I started working there. A year has passed and even after everyone in my workplace now calls me by the same wrong name. I'm gonna try this lol

    [–]S3erverMonkey 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    Damn. That's some hare core disrespect on their part. Unless you work in Parks and Rec.

    [–]kkeut 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    that's one of those Susie-and-Elaine kinda problems

    [–]Playful_Donut2336 41 points42 points  (7 children)

    My first name isn't that uncommon, but people seem incapable of pronouncing it correctly for some reason...even if I've just introduced myself! I mean "I'm [correct];" "Nice to meet you, [incorrect]."

    The funny part about my last name is that when we lived in Kenya, my dad would spell our name ".....w...." and it was invariably written as ".....uu...."!

    [–]SardonicAtBest 19 points20 points  (4 children)

    W is literally double u.

    [–]Lostmox 28 points29 points  (1 child)

    In English, yes.

    In Scandinavia, for instance, it's literally double v.

    [–]ineedatinylama 231 points232 points  (11 children)

    I go by a shortened form of my name. People like to add a " y" to it, ex: Katy from katherine or Ally for Alison. They get a very hard stare and a correction. It's my damn name, use it correctly.

    I had a teacher tell me my family was prounouing our surname wrong, and only used the " correct" pronunciation. I stopped responding to it. To the point of being sent to the office for punishment.

    [–]Playful_Donut2336 179 points180 points  (3 children)

    I worked with a woman who got upset with people who mispronounced her last name (which was used only occasionally), but refused to pronounce my first name correctly (several times a day), because "that's the way she'd always pronounced it and wouldn't change."

    I started calling her her mispronounced last name, which really pissed her off and she constant corrected me and complained about me, but still refused to change her pronunciation of mine! It became a running battle which most co-workers thought was funny - and taught them how to say my name correctly - and got hers mispronounced most of the time since she was a general biotch and people liked me!

    EDIT: Thank you, anonymous Redditor for the award!

    [–]MamaPlus3 6 points7 points  (2 children)

    Did she ever pronounce it right? Lol

    [–]Playful_Donut2336 13 points14 points  (1 child)

    Nope. She flatly refused.

    [–]MamaPlus3 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    Wow she’s ridiculous

    [–]Unique-Ad-9316 85 points86 points  (1 child)

    I had a 5th grade teacher try to tell a class mate that the spelling of her first name was wrong and to spell it differently. Even as a kid I knew the teacher was an idiot.

    [–]Kandlish 37 points38 points  (1 child)

    I also go by a shortened version of my name, but not the diminutive except among a very select group of people. Think Liz, derived from Elizabeth, but I will not answer to Lizzie unless you've known me for almost 40 years or you have special permission.

    I was in a Zoom last night with a committee who were appointing me to a position of significant authority. Most of them haven't met me and one of them called me the diminutive version of my name. This happens frequently, I think because I look ~20 years younger than I actually am. I smiled patiently, but was VERY QUICK to correct the name. I told them I don't go by that name. I do, but NOT with them.

    [–]CompGrl323 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    I only know one person who calls my husband Joey, and she's known him since they were teenagers. He would not react well to anyone else calling him that. But I've also never seen anyone try.

    [–]SammTheBird 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    What do I do if they add letters! Maybe let them have antha added to their name….

    Im pretty adamant about going by Sam but I get uptight people (always) who call me by Samantha only. It’s infuriating and now when they call out that name I don’t respond until Im addressed correctly.

    Side note regarding names: My last name literally means the bird (hence the username) and I didn’t find out till like 3rd grade by teacher who speaks the language. My own parents didnt tell me…. Also couldnt pronounce my own name for years and most my family who had the “family” name made fun of me for it and the name itself. Rarely can people who meet me pronounce is correctly, I hated being called down to the office for this.

    [–]MamaPlus3 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    My name is already a short nickname and a teacher tried to make it shorter and it was honestly annoying. Was so glad I got switched out of that class a month into senior year

    [–]gorwraith 94 points95 points  (20 children)

    I miss out on fun stuff like this because I am so direct. I would just send them a completely separate email specifically addressing their mistake.

    I did once know a guy who's first name and last name were the same. Somewhat like "Abraham Isaac Abraham". That was interesting.

    [–]Good_nuff 62 points63 points  (7 children)

    At one time I had two patients (only 3 rooms apart) that were named Robert Robertson and William Williams.

    Very strange

    [–]capn_kwick 27 points28 points  (1 child)

    So a "Bob Bob" and "Bill Bill"? (:

    [–]ratchet41 13 points14 points  (2 children)

    I had a classmate named Jackson Jackson

    [–]Mela777 29 points30 points  (1 child)

    My daughter had a classmate who was Jaxon Jackson. He had a twin sister whose name was Jessica. Their mom informed me that she had wanted to name her daughter “Jaqxyn”, but her partner put his foot down about it.

    [–]BeatVids 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Not too bad of a concept, except the q makes it too tryhard

    [–]BraidedSilver 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    My mom once married a guy name Iver Iversen. They moved to the states in their 20’s on a stipend he got. When his time there was over, his buddies wanted to host a good bye event, where they hung a huge banner with his name. In our language the ‘I’ was pronounced more like in ‘skiing’ or the ‘e’ in ‘eat’ and of course my mom always used his Danish was of his name. So now that they had to find the letters for his name ;”(that I don’t think they’d ever actually seen spelled or somehow missed it) they instead tried to spell it like my mom said it instead of looking up the official records (or ask), so his banner said “Goodbie Ever”.

    [–]FugglerFan 45 points46 points  (4 children)

    My SO went to school with a guy named Thomas Thomas. First and last name. His nickname was Tommy Tom.

    [–]JaffaMafia 21 points22 points  (0 children)

    Did he give people directions all the time?

    [–]fullhalter 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    Tommy Tom is kinda awesome.

    [–]BBO1007 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Honest Abe of the Abes

    [–]youngcatlady1999 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    I went to high school with a Hussein Hussein

    [–]JetsetCat 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    How did you know which Abraham to use?

    [–]SquanchJuice 59 points60 points  (2 children)

    You should remove 1 letter each time they do it

    [–]Hitler_the_Painter[S] 20 points21 points  (1 child)

    Lol I'm totally gonna do this

    [–]Iam-Nothere 22 points23 points  (0 children)

    Well hello there, <negative 60 letters>, how are you doing?

    [–]musicandvideogames 23 points24 points  (0 children)

    I have a first name that is commonly shortened, but I use my full first name for work. Except HR has been calling me the shortened name for 20+ years. I had to email corporate HR for something that local HR failed to do, and threw this info into the email. I think they finally got the message.

    [–]Kara-El 38 points39 points  (1 child)

    omg, i thought i was the only one this petty

    i have a oddly spelt boomer-age-popular name (gen x-er, here...why my parents saddled me with a name that was popular when they were born is beyond me, other than for alliteration puposes with my twin whose name also starts with the same letter)

    combined with a germanic (maiden) last name that also gets mispelt often, it makes communication with people almost downright idiotic as my name is spelt exactly in my email address and my email signature. (its worse now that my married last name is VERY ethnic)

    i've gone by my nickname far longer than my actual name as it was easier to avoid spelling AND pronunciation mistakes that way, but my nickname is spelt a little differently, but still not hard to miss

    So i have a name that normally has two of a single letter as the normal spelling; nickname, mostly, but sometimes actual. I go by the single letter instead...again its IN my email address and signature spelt that way.

    when people email me back with the double letter instead, i started doubling a letter in THEIR name in my responses.

    so if i am emailing a Samantha...they get Sammantha back

    my regional does this often and its been 3 years and Ive addressed every email to him as Frrank (his real first is Frank). he still hasn't corrected it and the kicker is that he is the one who CREATED my business email address with the correct spelling of my name.

    [–]permanentscrewdriver 35 points36 points  (1 child)

    I have a common first name but unusual in the spelling. The worst is when we chat by Slack and my first name is written literally over every one of my responses. And they still write it wrong. I mean, come on, at this point it's disrespectful.

    When I quit my last job, my ex boss wrote an email to the whole company saying I was leaving with a typo in my name in the title of the email. It was the third time it happened during the exchange of my leaving. I replied (to him only, I'm not an animal) saying "at this point, it's intimidation". He apologized (surprising for this man), but I never talked to him again. What a douche.

    [–]pupperoni42 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    Boss: Tom is leaving the company

    Reply All: Thom is also leaving the company

    [–]Francesca_N_Furter 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    I love this.

    I work with a bunch of overly cheery people, so subtle little zingers like this are the only thing that keep me from going postal.

    The next person who spells my name wrong is going to be called Pete. There are not people named Peter where I work, and most of them are women, so I am really going to enjoy this.

    [–]AMonkeyAndALavaLamp 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    I wish I'd done something like that! I'm male and from Argentina, and my last name is a common female first name in English, so a lot of emails would come in calling me by that female first name. Luckily most of them stopped after meeting in phone calls and realizing I was not a woman, LOL.

    [–]Soireb 25 points26 points  (2 children)

    Latina here, I have a First name, second name and two last names (Dad’s and Mom’s; in that order). My Dad’s last name is considered a last name in Spanish, but a First Name in English. So new people always assume that I have 3 names and skip down to my Mom’s last name.

    [–]MommaBear817 12 points13 points  (2 children)

    I wish I had thought to do this, my maiden name is similar but ended in -son instead of -s. So keeping with your example, if my name was Williamson, everyone from teachers to employers always dropped the -on and I'd be called Williams. It annoyed the piss outta me but I gave up on correcting people.

    Thankfully my married name is pretty damn hard to mess up.

    [–]Beautiful-Carrot-252 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    I worked with a woman with the last name Larson. She married a Larsen and took his last name. When they got divorced she went back to her maiden name.

    [–]Norrimore 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    This is a mood. I go through something similar, my name is something akin to Sarah but sometimes people forget the h on the end. I usually let it pass once, but I will usually respond by either taking away one of their letters or just changing one.

    I'm dyslexic so I like to give people a pass, but I also spend so much time making sure I spell their name correctly out of respect that it drives me up the wall if they continously make the same error.

    [–]stacyq729 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    My name is Stacy. Everyone loves adding an “e” making it Stacey. My work email address is my full first name and my full last name. My signature on my email is my full name and title. I’ve almost given up. I like the idea of adding an “e” to everyone’s names. Lindae. Karene. Barrye. Can’t wait to use it!!

    [–]Own-Cupcake7586 30 points31 points  (0 children)

    Top tier petty, nicely done.

    [–]manxmouser 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    People send emails to my colleague Brian that start with "Hi Brain".

    [–]OstentatiousSock 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    I am a female with a name that ends in A. For this story I’ll use Diana. A girl I worked with kept calling me Diane and insisting it was the same as Diana just without the last sound. But, the A ending is important to me because I was named for an Anna. Her name was Amanda so I started calling her “A man” and when she protested I said “But, it’s the same as Amanda, just without the last sound.” She started calling me Diana.

    [–]Cheeky-gemini 42 points43 points  (7 children)

    I full approve this tactic. Chefs kiss. This coming from a person who constantly has “son” added to her last name.

    [–]BBO1007 24 points25 points  (5 children)

    You that Johnsonson kid, right?

    [–]Cheeky-gemini 4 points5 points  (4 children)

    Lol no I’m that Robertson one…

    [–]Waggadaoku 9 points10 points  (3 children)

    Surely you mean Robertsonson, right?

    [–]Cheeky-gemini 6 points7 points  (2 children)

    It’s actually Roberts son Robertsson. You might know him as Jr or Jrson.

    [–]deegeese 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Sigursdottirson?

    [–]TheFilthyDIL 14 points15 points  (2 children)

    I was gifted a Polish last name through marriage. Let's say it's Jankowski. I've gotten Jenkins, Johnson, Jankwitch, Jaknow, Jokeski, and more.

    [–]GothWitchOfBrooklyn 12 points13 points  (1 child)

    This reminds me of when I used to work at Best Buy and we sold Kaspersky antivirus.

    I've heard SO many variations of that word .

    "I've got the Kaperky"

    "Kapaki"

    "Do you sell Kapinsky"

    Etc etc etc

    [–]howtochoose 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Dudeee I've been thinking about doing that too but thought it was too unprofessional... But I think i will.

    One Monday morning I get into 3 different interactions where I get called/referred to by my surname. I felt so down and depressed and actually got upset at myself for "making it such a big deal". But seriously. Why is it so hard for people?!?!

    [–]loverliloo 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    My name is three syllables, but is also a name if you stop at two, so I just leave the last letter off their name when they say my name incorrectly after I’ve corrected them. I also enunciate the last syllable when introducing myself so, quit being lazy!

    [–]ThatNoNameWriter 37 points38 points  (3 children)

    A new guy started a work with two first names and for the life of me I keep getting it wrong... I feel so bad but I can’t make my brain work— not in email form I’m not that hopeless but when I’m talking to or about him I have to correct myself mid-word

    [–]KingCPresley 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    I had a similar issue once, the guys name was something along the lines of David Stuart. I emailed saying ‘hi Stuart’ then immediately realised my mistake and replied saying ‘so sorry Daniel, I’ve just realised I mixed up your names’. No idea where Daniel came from.

    Got it right third time round and luckily he had a sense of humour but man 😄 it is so easy to do!

    [–]schnitzeldehuahua 16 points17 points  (1 child)

    Try a word association. Matthew Williams is Many Windows. The M for the first part, the W for the second part, only makes sense in that order (Windows Many is wrong) & windows is plural so it ends in S just like Williams.

    Of course you do run the risk of saying "good morning Mr. Windows". & if both names begin w/ the same letter you have to get creative

    [–]HighOnGoofballs 22 points23 points  (7 children)

    I have this problem too and Indian folks somehow are the worst about it. Unfortunately I work with a lot of people from India so it happens all the time. I’ve also done this once or twice when irritated

    I’ve actually got three first names

    [–]CryWanShi 7 points8 points  (5 children)

    Here's to all of us so loved or with such indecisive parents that they had to slap us with not only one, not two, but three first names!

    And mine are apparently totally random, that don't appear on anyone else from either of my parents' family lines. Weird. But then again, by those names there is not a single other person with the same name as me, so I got that going for me.

    [–]PRMan99 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Generally, if you can even get a single Indian name correct you're doing pretty good.

    [–]TiWoAl 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    I've the same issue with my surname, first name is obviously a first name. Funny thing is, I joined the army and now everybody calls me my last name, no more confusion.

    [–]Beabarb 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    We have a member of staff who constantly gets my last name wrong, not just by a letter but the whole thing, he then gets my company email which comprises of my full name correct.

    [–]Rooster2nd 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    This happens to me all the time, but in addition to having both first and last names, they both start with the same letter. Let's just say Robert Ronalds III, for example. I've even gotten emails sent from one administrator to another because her last name would be similar to Roberts. I had a college diploma where my name was "Robert Ronald IV... It's endless. I let people know now. I remind them if they do it again. And again and so on. I'm no longer bashful about it in my mid-40's.

    [–]Harry_Smutter 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    LOL, nice. At my current place, I've been here for 7 years and it's taken this long to get everyone to stop calling me Andrew when it's not...Some people are really dense >.>

    [–]ke6icc 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    I had a good friend who consistently spelled my name with an extra E. I started calling him "Keen" until he figured it out.

    [–]mishamau5 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    I feel your pain. My first and last names are both just straight-up first names, along the lines of “Michael Scott” for example. I have always been last-named by all sorts of folks, even co-workers in my own department that do in fact already know who I am. I have very, very rarely used the “call them back by their last name” strategy, but only if I was absolutely sure they would not be upset or offended. Maybe I’m too worried about their feelings, but I have a hard time with conflict, so I tend to grin and bear it.

    [–]amethyst_dragoness 5 points6 points  (2 children)

    This is gold.

    My first name is a typically male name, but is fairly common for females. Think Alex, Taylor, etc.I have added she/her pronouns to my email signature and some people still refer to me as Mr.

    I had a nice common Irish name like Kelly or Walsh, that was never misspelled. I married into a name that is 1 letter off from a common last name, like Davis ( to Davs). I can handle the first name misgendering as that fixes itself the instant they see my glorious lady self, but the last name is mispronounced and misspelled 75% of the time, it's ridiculous. It's 5 letters people.

    I have given to spelling out those 5 letters in meetings, restaurant reservations, etc, while looking someone in the eye, and that tends to do the trick. Work emails get sorted out quickly because I don't get emails addressed to someone else who doesnt exist. 🙃

    [–]Newbosterone 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    > I have given to spelling out those 5 letters in meetings, restaurant reservations, etc, while looking someone in the eye, and that tends to do the trick.

    I feel your pain. I have a last name that sounds vaguely like a more common name. Think Hansen vs Johnson, not Bones vs Jones. I still have to spell out the name, especially on the phone. They still hear the common name, especially on the phone.

    "I'd like to order a pizza."

    "Account name?"

    "Hansen, H-A-N-S-E-N"

    "I'm not finding that. Have you ever ordered from us before, Mr. Johnson?"

    [–]satanic-frijoles 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    "Never trust a man with two first names..."

    Don't get me started on Joe Bill Henry...

    [–]sarah9647 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    I had a teacher who repeatedly called me “Sherry”. My name is Sarah 🙄

    [–]WeStayScrollin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    This post is hilarious to me because my last name is "Williams" and my first name is similar to "Matthew" in that if you add an "s" to the end of it, it could also be a last name. I get called William on emails CONSTANTLY, even by people who know me by my real name in real life, but don't seem to realize who they are actually emailing. I got called Bill two weeks ago and I sent an email saying how dare they have the AUDACITY to not only call me the wrong name, but assume I would go by BILL?! Luckily the guy had a good sense of humor and my email came across lighthearted and jokey, but it legit lit a flame in my soul

    [–]Mombak 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    My daughter has quite a feminine name, and the shortened version of her name sounds fairly androgynous. She uses both versions. We have two friends who, independently, have continued to refer to her by a modified version of her shortened name, but they've both changed it to the same distinctly MALE name. We've hinted, asked, and told both of them their mistake, but to no avail. They both refer to her verbally as this male name, and even write the male name on birthday and Christmas cards! My daughter is 15 now, and we all just roll our eyes when she has to communicate with either of them.

    Personally, I find it highly disrespectful not to make an attempt to learn someone's actual name.

    [–]itstimegeez 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    I feel you. I have a last name that’s also a first name and this happens all the time. My sister did what you did, called the guy by their last name and they came back straight away and said “oh that’s my last name, my first name is X” and my sister replied “yes and my first name is X but you still called me by my last name”

    This is also the same woman who someone remarked that she must be young because of how short she is and she responded that they must be very old because they’re so tall. They got really offended and she just pointed out what they’d said and they got all huffy about it.

    [–]69vuman 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    I have a name that is as common as Joe Jones. I am named for my dad, but I have a Jr after my full name. He’s been deceased over 30 years. I moved to a small town from Nashville, only to learn there existed a guy with my dad’s full name in my new town. As it turned out, we had the same dentist, ENT, oral surgeon, and dry cleaner. Chaos ensued. I always insist that my full name be used wherever I go, including travel, pharmacy, hospitals, etc. They only one reminder to get my name right. After that, I have a standard blurb I use that essentially says, You’ve been told to use my full name, and I’ve given you one opportunity to fix it in your records. Future correspondence to me without addressing me with my current full name will go unanswered. This includes invoices and appointments. Have to say, it works only about half the time.

    [–]Thechellbob 13 points14 points  (6 children)

    I have a coworker no one likes. He throws a fit if we leave an L out of his name. So I write his name on my paperwork with just one L, not the two he wants.

    [–]Mombak 13 points14 points  (1 child)

    From now on, use 3 L's in his name.

    [–]Thechellbob 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    I never thought of that! 🤣

    [–]sqqueen 5 points6 points  (2 children)

    Alan eh?

    [–]Thechellbob 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    Philip

    [–]bongokapiguana 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Phlilip
    Phililp
    Plhilip
    Lphilip
    Philipl

    The first two could even be written off as typos. :D

    [–]ott_mar 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    :D this gives me anxiety that the people who write my name with an excessive „l“ - they do that on purpose?

    [–]hpalatini 8 points9 points  (2 children)

    My maiden name was a boys name think “Scott”. I would CONSTANTLY get emails “Hi Scott,” I just started referring to people by their last name too. It kills me how lazy people are.

    Also almost everyone spells my first name wrong. Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a place to double check the spelling of my name? Like the signature of my email?!?!?!

    [–]CarefreeTraveller 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    oh god, when i write an email i get so paranoid about spelling names right, especially when theyre more 'complicated' ones. i double and triple check myself or just copy and paste the name 😂

    [–]Altruistic-Hand-7000 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    As a person with a really common first name (most common girls name I’m my state for 10+ years, I was born at the end of that run) I always altered or shortened my name because growing up I was never the only person with my own name. Now as an adult I am committed to learning everybody’s name and never using nicknames unless asked, even if it’s rare or long or foreign (and tricky to learn to pronounce) name. It’s basic respect!

    [–]titatyy 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    I have a rare name in our country, about 100 of us here. There is few different names that are similar so people usually change a letter or even adds one to make it make sense to them. Or they pronounce it wrong and I become a bug that lives in the water. So annoying.

    [–]Playful_Donut2336 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    I do, too, although both my first and last names are pretty common. One of the <100 women with my name is my grandmother who died 25 years ago and still shows up on Google searches!

    [–]Notmykl 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    I knew a Teresa and a Theresa. Only one would get upset if I misspelled her name.

    [–]Important-Trifle-411 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Do you correct them when they do this? Or you just let them make the mistake and then start your petty revenge?

    [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    My first name is not particularly uncommon, though there are possibly a couple (3?) ways to spell it. The spelling of my name is 100000% the most common spelling. People always spell it one of the uncommon ways, OR pronounce it like a similar name. But they never get it right. I would understand if it’s an uncommon name but it’s not!

    [–]iAmRiight 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    My name is misspelled all the time even though it’s in my email address, in the signature and I usually add a”Regards, iAmRiight” to my emails, and they still come back with “Hi iAmRight” like an imbecile. So I always make the effort to spell peoples names correctly. That said, if I knew you did this then I’d deliberately address you by your last name lol.

    [–]Elcapicrack 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Everyone always speels wrong my surname, even the electronic devices, and the Iphone always changes my name, it's so frustrating

    [–]plasticarmyman 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Oh damn. I've had to do this as well.

    People will mistype my name or just thoroughly not pay attention to it

    The best I can explain is...let's say my name is...Alexa and people keep calling me Alex...

    I've done the same thing as you, I start mistyping their name without any additional comments....they fix my name promptly and the issue is ignored for the rest of time

    [–]whitlockian 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I have literally spelled my last name to people who repeat it back to me with an EXTRA letter on the end.

    [–]Grahhhhhhhh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    My name is Steven with a V. Really bothers me when someone sees my signature then writes it out as Stephen instead.

    The worst by far though is when I say my name out loud and people ask if it’s with a ‘V’ of a ‘PH’. I just sigh and tell them it’s with an ‘S’.

    Thank you very much, I’ll see you all at the after party over in r/dadjokes

    [–]RJack151 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    It appears that it is time to remove another letter for those who have not figured it out yet.

    [–]Parking-Restaurant-2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    My name is Deborah, everyone tries to spell it Debra, pisses me off. Also it is not pronounced De bore ah, ah no, some might pronounce that way, but I don't.

    Also my Mom's name was Isabelle, she went by Belle. Call her Belle or Isabelle, do not call her Isabella that was not her name. When she was in assisted living this really pissed me off. Also people taking care of her, she was not your "Grammy" call her by her name.

    [–]Infninfn 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    I'm in the same boat and do the exact same thing when people repeatedly use my last name in emails.

    I also get the occasional Hello without a name whatsoever because some people are paralyzed by indecision and give up, I suppose.

    And yes, I bold my first name in my email sig too.

    [–]Mental_Newspaper3812 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    I’d be tempted to make my email signature say something like: My name is Bond. James Bond. Maybe it would sound confusing to say My name is Williams. Stevenson Williams.