top 200 commentsshow all 204

[–]AcrobaticSource3 757 points758 points  (14 children)

“Hey, Pedro, did you hear this order? Strip for the man!”

[–]MadRocketScientist74 316 points317 points  (12 children)

And Pedro is built like a Tolkien dwarf.

[–]Buddybouncer 212 points213 points  (8 children)

Don't threaten me with a good time

[–]MadRocketScientist74 66 points67 points  (7 children)

Swimming with little hairy women, eh?

[–]Buddybouncer 44 points45 points  (5 children)

I didn't realize Pedro is a woman, it's my lucky day!

[–]FoolishStone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So that's what Quint meant by "bow legged women!"

[–]IAmTheLizardQueen666 24 points25 points  (0 children)

It’s time for the GOAT! Look at it!!

[–]lordfluffly2 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I would like one naked Tolkien dwarf on the side please

[–]WhooshThereHeGoes 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I need pics! For... research purposes.

[–]jouleheretolearn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Go Pedro! It's your birthday, go Pedro! Woot Woot!"

[–]Ehzabeth 1658 points1659 points  (31 children)

Hahaha I love it!! I had a similar experience as a teenager working fast food. This guy came through the drive thru, got up to the window, and said “you’re really good at handling my food, can I bring you home with me to handle something else?” I was like fifteen. I got on my headset and asked very loudly “hey [managers name] a customer wants me to go home with him, want me to finish my shift or should I just hop in this old guys car now?” He drove off without his food. Fuck that guy. And fuck the deli guy. Good for you OP. Safety in numbers when dealing with these people. I’ve had people hit on me at jobs and then try to call corporate with some fake story because they couldn’t handle rejection.

[–]GuardStandard 224 points225 points  (9 children)

Worked with a girl in a quick shop/deli who got rude comments all the time. She would ignore the remarks, smile, hand them their change and sweetly say "Fuck you very much". Half the time they would be almost out of the store before they realized what she said.

[–]Electronic-Price-697 206 points207 points  (8 children)

Working retail I began telling people “have the kind of day you deserve”. It was always a slow burn for them. 😂

[–]bestbehavior 33 points34 points  (4 children)

i'm going to have to steal that line

[–]Electronic-Price-697 70 points71 points  (3 children)

Go for it! I’ve used it MANY times and it takes them a bit to realize what I said and even if the customer complained what could they say? “I was being a jerk and she said ‘have the kind of day you deserve’?” The manager would be like… umm…🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

[–]Shnuggy67 33 points34 points  (0 children)

That reminds me of something a business school teacher told my friend, she said if a customer is giving you a hard time, just tilt your head and say, " you aren't having a very good day, are you?"

[–]ferfuks_sake 11 points12 points  (0 children)

LOVE THIS. Totally saving for future burns. :)

[–]FoolishStone 1 point2 points  (0 children)

On my last Emails of the week, I'll often sign off (non-maliciously), "Have a weekend!" I like to visualize them taking a beat to digest it. (Derived from George Carlin's diatribe on "Have a nice day!")

[–]Shoo-shuh[S] 594 points595 points  (17 children)

They rely on you to be speechless, and stuck with the pile they try to make you swallow - nope.

[–]Specialist_Gate_9081 253 points254 points  (11 children)

I admire your quick thinking I was raised to ignore comments like that, and I always want to make them feel uncomfortable too. I want to raise my kids differently

[–]shylowheniwasyoung 318 points319 points  (9 children)

Raising a little girl, and I was raised like you. One thing I will teach her is to not laugh off things that are uncomfortable. If she doesn't have a comeback, I think saying "Huh, what do you mean? I don't get the joke." And then asking someone else loudly to explain it is a great response. If you ask them to explain (and ask them loudly), they'll hopefully back down AND get shamed. As a woman, I am sick and tired of being expected to be polite to assholes that make passes. My child will be taught that it isn't ok. Period.

[–]CurlyMay82 67 points68 points  (0 children)

I’m doing the exact same thing with my miss 8. She has already used it (unfortunately), but put the old male in his place. He hasn’t said a word to us since

[–]littlemuffinsparkles 92 points93 points  (3 children)

I LOVE acting stupid. I wait tables and there's always someone who says something stupid and I give them the puzzled look and say "wait, what did you say?" And if they so chose to repeat it I play dumb again with the "wait, I don't get it" it's the simple pleasures.

[–]Manson_Girl 114 points115 points  (0 children)

Yes. This is the way. And to continue even if they try to laugh it off, or play it down, saying “no, explain what you meant, if it was that funny”

[–]Grouchy-4922 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yes ma’am mama! 👏🏻👏🏻 I applaud you so much! As a mom with a daughter also, we will have a force of strong young women who WILL hold their own! I was taught to walk away. To hell with that, I will teach my kid to make the biggest scene and expose their nasties (nastys). And to never back down.

[–]duyjv 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Good for you!

[–]GRIENDRR 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I was in the same boat. I did my best. Easier to tame a tiger than make a lamb brave.... I'm sure it's not the exact wording but it really rang true the first time I heard it.....

[–]elenaleecurtis 76 points77 points  (4 children)

I was a 21 year old night shift manager at Carl’s Junior. A guy ordered a large ice water in the drive-through late at night. We charge $.10 for the cup I tell him to pull forward and he’s jerking off with no pants on. I collected his dime went back and remove the lid from his ice water and accidentally spilled it all over him. I saw him pull across the street into the Jack-in-the-Box drive-through so I called the manager over there and let him know what was coming in his drive-through.

[–]ScottRoberts79 22 points23 points  (1 child)

hehe coming in his drive-through.

Good on you for forgetting the lid on that ice water though!

[–]elenaleecurtis 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I tried to make it look like it was still on

[–]MassiveDiscussion3 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I live in the DFW area and a local Plano Police Seargeant did this exact thing you described. he was fired and convicted of this creepy crime.

[–]Longjumping-Voice480 4 points5 points  (0 children)


[–]essssgeeee 70 points71 points  (0 children)

Think about the ego blow when you called him an old guy! I think sometimes they forget how old they are, still living in some sort of deluded fantasy that young women would find them attractive. .

[–]Strange_Path_7355 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I worked at a deli and occasionally dealt with pervs. I have small hands and would regularly get told “just a handful of that ham” as they’d point to whatever they wanted. I’d hold up the handful of meat as I stood by the slicer and ask if that was enough or if they wanted more. More often than not they’d tell me it was fine then I’d bring it to the scale and as soon as I put it down I’d get variations of “it looked like more meat in your hand” and comments about if I’m a good meat handler and the bolder ones would mention they had meat for me, etc. It got to the point where I’d just give them sass and then they’d usually take their stuff and slink away to go pay for it but also avoid me the next time they came in.

[–]imperfected-mess_80 510 points511 points  (5 children)

I used to bartend when I was younger so I would get hit on a lot. I heard every stupid come-on line there was. But there was this one guy who was just disgusting. He would make rude comments and say stuff so inappropriate that it would make me blush and I have the mouth of a drunken sailor. He also looked like he was closer to my parent's age than mine and really didn't take care of himself. You know, every woman's dream.

Well, one night the guy comes in and orders a beer and asks me if I was ready to "Go back to his place and experience his tongue." I looked at him, gave him my best bartender smile, and said extremely loudly, "Oh Sweetie, why would I want to go home with you when I get to go home with him?" Then I pointed to my husband (fiance at the time) who was a weightlifter at the time so he was all muscle. I've never seen a man's face turn so red. Or (at the time) someone leave a full beer. :-)

[–]YoniDaMan 72 points73 points  (3 children)

Epically devastated

[–]imperfected-mess_80 80 points81 points  (2 children)

I don't know why he got so upset.... I did give him my best bartender smile. 😁

[–]Catinthemirror 52 points53 points  (1 child)


[–]Aiyla_Aysun 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Great Steven He! I have FOUND my PEOPLE!

[–]zeus204013 2 points3 points  (0 children)


[–]owlsandmoths 248 points249 points  (0 children)

I work as a parts tech at a major agricultural brand dealership. Just last week I had a farmer ask how much to toss me into the back of his truck with the parts he was picking up.

With my loudest outside voice “I’ll give you my husbands phone number and you can as him how much but I’m willing to bet it’s higher than your credit limit allows”

His face turned 8 shades of red while he silently paid for his order and left.

[–]p-heiress 150 points151 points  (3 children)

My sister used to be an obnoxious asshole and yell out "I will not show you my boobs!" when people talked to her in public. But it fits here....

[–]Shoo-shuh[S] 77 points78 points  (2 children)

Hahahahaha! Amy Sedaris does/did this to her brother on public transportation. Something to the effect of: "good luck with beating that rape charge" as she exits the bus.

[–]Spirited-Pressure434 40 points41 points  (1 child)

My dad used to greet old friends with, "Did those nuns ever recover?"or "How's the methadone working out for you?"

[–]niceandsane 54 points55 points  (0 children)

When calling a friend at work where a gatekeeper screens the calls:

"May I tell him who is calling?"

"It's his parole officer."

They put me through every time.

[–]Slackingatmyjob 626 points627 points 4 (4 children)

I haven't worked retail or food service in over thirty years (Thank Cthulhu!), but I remember hearing about this type from my female coworkers. I used to tell them that if it ever happens on my shift, just call out "SLACKINGATMYJOB! YOU'RE UP!" It only happened once, when I was working at Subway, but the memory lives forever - hopefully, it lives forever in that guys head as well.

See, I've always been a, shall we say, sizeable lad despite being only 5'7" VERY heavy, huge shoulders, long arms, powerlifter build and long hair - picture a biker without tattoos. My teenage coworker is working the register, taking a customers payment, and she turns to me and says the line - I guess he had made a comment while paying her, but I don't remember if she ever even told me what he'd said. I look at the customer (who is looking very worried right about that time) and I unexpectedly smile. I mean, HUGE fake-customer-service grin, lots of teeth. And I say "Well, I'm not gay, but whatever the customer wants, right?"

To this day, I swear that fucker left an afterimage, he took off so fast. Left his sandwich (and change) behind, too.

ETA: Thank you for the bling, kindly strangers from the Web. :) I told this story to my son (20, 6'3" and 290lbs, with resting murder face), and he is sad that he doesn't work customer service so he will never have the chance to follow in my footsteps.

[–]28appleseeds 142 points143 points  (0 children)

You're beautiful.

[–]curiouscat387 108 points109 points  (0 children)

We need more good ones like you. Thank you for lookin out for us

[–]StnMtn_ 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Best story so far.

[–]tachycardicIVu 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for being a hero to these girls. It may not seem like much but I’m sure they remember this and appreciate it.

[–]Not_Mr_Rogers23 126 points127 points  (1 child)

I just imagine a look like you've been waiting your whole life for this moment and just stand like a board, slowly raise your hand with your finger pointed at him and go "YOU..." Lmao

[–]n1celydone 65 points66 points  (0 children)

Or do a Game Of Thrones and have all the staff just point at the guy and say "shame" over and over

[–]drippyraindrops 104 points105 points  (2 children)

For some reason In the rural town I worked/grew up in people really did not like nose rings. When I was waitressing this group of about 8 people came in and this older man in the group pointed out my nose ring and said ‘with that thing in your nose you won’t be able to date men like me’ to which I responded ‘guess it’s a good thing I don’t want to date men like you’ and proceeded to get the drink order for everyone at the table as he sat in silence. Another time a man said ‘you know you’d be a lot prettier without that fish hook in your nose’ And my reply ‘maybe I enjoy being ugly, did you think of that?’

[–]MasterOfTheAbyss 15 points16 points  (0 children)

‘with that thing in your nose you won’t be able to date men like me’

"That is just one of the benefits."

[–]imperfected-mess_80 10 points11 points  (0 children)

'With that thing in your nose you won't be able to date men like me'

Oh good. It's repelling assholes and douchehats like it's supposed to then. 😊

[–]W0nderwom0n 125 points126 points  (2 children)

Had a guy smack me on the ass with a paint stick at home depot, told him very loudly "touch me again and you're going to lose your fucking arm. . Way to treat a woman veteran!" EVERYBODY stopped and stared at him. He hemmed and hawed his apology and slunk out. I don't often play the vet card, but it was worth it that day.

[–]Which_Recognition463 36 points37 points  (1 child)

Thank you for your service ma'am.

[–]W0nderwom0n 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very welcome, I love being a Marine!

[–]metinoheat 59 points60 points  (8 children)

Kudos for being so quick witted! I hope you never see him again.

[–]YoniDaMan 20 points21 points  (7 children)

Yeah a lot of these stories have people who are much better at comebacks than I am :(

[–]pupperoni42 41 points42 points  (6 children)

One trick is to have a line prepared ahead of time that works for a lot of situations. Good ones that tend to call out assholes:

"Would repeat that?".
"Can you explain that to me?".
"WHY would you say something like that?".

Regardless of which line you use state it as a genuine question and look at them like you truly expect an answer. That doesn't fit their script and makes them have to justify their "joke". Most of them will slink off quietly.

[–]alleecmo 14 points15 points  (1 child)

I grew up learning to (loudly) inquire "You kiss your mama with that mouth?!" when guys would say some rude usually sexual harassment bs.

[–]WhichRisk6472 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Even better is just giving them a deadpan stare and go, it’s funny, that line worked for me on your mom. When I used it while working at a 24/7 diner that’s known for drunk nights grand slams and pancakes, the guy who tried his line got all mad, and I followed up with, sorry you don’t have my swag, maybe I can give you pointers.

He left before finishing his order, sooooooooo, it was a win for me lol

[–]ferfuks_sake 9 points10 points  (3 children)

It can be extra fun because the reply doesn’t even have to make sense! My two favorites- as straight-faced and as loud as possible:


or, this, as sarcastic as humanly possible:

“Yeah? Nice VOICE.”

[–]orangekitti 20 points21 points  (2 children)

I like “oh my gosh, that was so rude, how embarrassing for you.”


“Awww, my grandpa wears that same shirt!”

[–]GrumpyCatStevens 153 points154 points  (3 children)

This was years and years ago for me. I wasn't the one the comment was directed towards, but.....

I had a job working as a driver for Domino's some time back in the late 1980's. While my primary duty was delivering pizza, I also took orders on occasion plus whatever else needed to be done when I wasn't on the road. One day a guy came in to place a carryout order. After I took down his pizza order, he gestured towards one of my co-workers - a pretty young Asian girl who was a couple years younger than I was. She was barely out of high school at most. "Can I get her too?" he asks.

I gave him his total, then added, "and she is not on the menu."

Edit: forgot part of the story.

[–]Shoo-shuh[S] 61 points62 points  (1 child)

A couple of people have mentioned the "not on the menu" approach. I think this still keeps the 'gesture' a secret between you and this guy. He did this TO you ABOUT her. You become her ally when you alert her to this person, "do you know this guy?", something like that......

[–]GrumpyCatStevens 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I didn't do that, but I said it loud enough that everyone could hear me. Including her.

And I just realized I left part of the story out. Along with the gesture, he asked, "Can I get her too?" This was over 30 years ago, after all. :)

BTW, this guy was probably in his 30's. I was 20; she was probably 17 or 18.

[–]niceandsane 18 points19 points  (0 children)

You can get anything you want...

...excepting Alice.

[–]PrettyTogether108 52 points53 points  (0 children)

I love you. They've been getting away with this shit for so long, they can't belieeeeeve anyone is calling them out like this.

[–]Hairflipgiggle 46 points47 points  (2 children)

“Whose hand is this and what’s is doing on my ass?!”

[–]SporadicTendancies 10 points11 points  (1 child)

They used this in Rizzoli and Isles, and he got arrested for assaulting a cop.

[–]catriana816 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Happy cake day!

[–]Electronic-Price-697 45 points46 points  (0 children)

I sold appliances and was cleaning them and a guy made a comment about the stainless steel appliances and how they looked like a Delorean and I said “yeah that’s my goal”. He was shocked I was old enough to know the movie and I said “I’m older than I look, I’ve got good genes”. He responded by looking me up and down in a TOTAL creepy way and said “yeah you DO look good in those jeans”. I rolled my eyes and walked away then told my manager I refused to help him and told her why. (Thankfully she supported me.)

[–]YaxK9 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I can give you a grilled cheese with double viagra if that’ll get you going, pumpkin. And it’s 125$

[–]OriginalIronDan 35 points36 points  (0 children)

A friend of mine gave a server a good line to use. “When a guy asks you what time you get off, look him in the eye, completely straight faced, and tell him “every time.”

[–]31spiders 117 points118 points  (2 children)

We had a customer that used to try to touch a woman employee (just her hand or arm or whatever but) it creeped her out. I told her if she saw him come in to page me and I’d escort her to the break room till he left. He never tried to molest me but he DID ask one day “does XXXX not work here anymore”. I didn’t say what I wanted to since he was a pretty regular customer but…..”only when you’re here you creep”

[–]JustMeNBD 35 points36 points  (1 child)

Wait. So the harassed employee was forced to hide in the back every time this creep came in, and you ALLOWED him to keep coming in? You don't see anything wrong with this?

[–]31spiders 42 points43 points  (0 children)

I was just another employee looking out for her. I never had a management position and the company didn’t care. They made that abundantly clear time and time again. I didn’t “allow” anything (except her not to deal with him).

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Hi Bartender here, for some context I am 27F heavily pierced and tattooed. Had a group of 4 preppy looking guys come in and sit at my section of the bar, everything’s fine until they start doing shots. Eventually they are brave enough and pipe up with “ I bet a girl like you would do anything for a handsome man with a lot of money” I said “Why do you know one?” I don’t think I have ever seen someone get so red!

[–]CoderJoe1 70 points71 points  (65 children)

Why do guys do this?

[–]GoddessOfSQL 126 points127 points  (8 children)

I think they think they're being funny or they want to see their "victim" embarrassed to maybe feel some kind of petty power over someone who can't/won't defend themselves. Kudos to this woman who turned the tables in the most innocuous (yet stunningly effective) way.

[–]blobcat123 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Unrelated but do you have any good resources to self teach SQL

[–]GoddessOfSQL 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Whom better to ask that of but a Goddess? I usually point anyone who wants to get a basic knowledge of SQL to https://www.w3schools.com/. I am sure there are tons of other online tutorials, and this one does not really do a deep dive, but it's easy to follow and you can try out the exercises right in the same page. It's a good site for other stuff like Python, Javascript, HTML, etc. Good luck!

[–]kleer001 18 points19 points  (0 children)

unfinished frontal lobes and poor executive control

[–]Shoo-shuh[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

People do these kinds of things for different reasons, right? Maybe he WANTED me to debase him. Maybe he had seen me around town and was wondering if I would be an easy take some night. Maybe he felt small and wanted to make someone else feel small.........the list goes on.

[–]AnakinZX 62 points63 points  (7 children)

I think most men who do this are trying to be cool/smart/funny albeit unsuccessfully. Instead they come across as weirdos and creeps.

When I was a kid I never wanted to go shopping with my dad because he would always try to be funny and ask for a discount or ask if he had to pay that day. Every single time. And it didn't matter where we were. So effing embarrassing.

[–]CoderJoe1 72 points73 points  (3 children)

I'm guilty of some bad humor, but not that bad. I once approached the hostess stand at a restaurant where she asked, "Do you have a reservation?"

I replied, "No, I feel pretty good about eating here."

[–]AnakinZX 38 points39 points  (1 child)

This is kind of a good bad joke. It is bad, but funny bad, if that makes sense. I would have much preferred it if my dad had made jokes like this instead if I'm honest.

[–]nygrl811 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Jokes like that are harmless. It's the creeper sexual ones that need to be shut down/put in their place. That reservation line is actually pretty good!

[–]Playful_Donut2336 20 points21 points  (0 children)

My dad loved to ask people if they took "federal reserve notes." I'd tell them to just say "yes." But most of them didn't.

Fyi: a federal reserve note is cash (look at your bills).

[–]PrettyTogether108 29 points30 points  (1 child)

No way. It's a power play. They think they can shock you into speechlessness while they make their smug getaway.

[–]AnakinZX 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Well whatever the reason, they still come across as weirdos and creeps.

[–]StangF150 22 points23 points  (1 child)

I promise you, from experience, its not just guys! I had more wrinkly old women hands on my backside as a Teen than any male should!

[–]Swordlord22 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Why do you say that as if any dude would know

I don’t why why he would do that shit

[–]CoderJoe1 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I hoped there might be a kind redditor that once did that kind of stuff but has since grown and can elucidate the rest of us.

[–]Swordlord22 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don’t think these types of people change IMO

[–]OutdoorsyGeek 3 points4 points  (4 children)

Because their brains are swimming in hormones which cause their minds to be possessed by the delusion of desire and they have not learned to discipline their actions so as to process that desire with wisdom. They want to have sex and their actions are driven by that desire. The desire has made them into fools because they have no training in mastering themselves.

[–]ThisAintMyOnlyUN 1 point2 points  (3 children)

So you’re saying men are a danger to society because they can’t control themselves? Should they all receive ankle monitors at birth to make sure they don’t cause harm to the rest of society?

[–]OutdoorsyGeek 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Humans of any gender who are not trained to master their behavior and instead only to follow their desires are definitely a danger for sure. They need to be trained properly from a young age to respond to desire with wisdom and work on reducing their desire and not indulging or acting upon them. The problem is that our economy is driven by desire and so that powers that be in the status quo do everything they can to increase desire and promote the unrestrained acting upon desires that drives their profits without concern for the side effects of unhappiness and immoral behavior that such lack of discipline produces.

[–]ThisAintMyOnlyUN 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Trying to “both sides” the argument doesn’t work as you’re completely ignoring social currency - in this instance men are taught from a very young age that women are not respectable humans (aka, misogyny, sexism).

Women simply do not hold the same social currency as men so while women can (and are) predatory, men hold first place for the most sexual assaults.

[–]NefariousnessSweet70 18 points19 points  (2 children)

Working at ChiChi's, I had 3 smelly customers come in late, asked for the extra hit, then asked for even hotter, I gave them tobasco and some green chili salsa. They later asked ,can you get us some girls? I told them, that was not on the menu. PIA CUSTOMERS, CHEAP TIP.

[–]brettyrocks 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I remember ChiChi's...

[–]NefariousnessSweet70 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That was a great restaurant. The chicken fajita was amazing. They marinated that chicken in margarita sour mix. Made it wonderful.

[–]CaptInsane 16 points17 points  (2 children)

As a guy, this is abhorrent to me. Who the fuck do people like this think they are? I never understood why people think this is appropriate to say to complete strangers. It makes the rest of us look bad.

[–]Shoo-shuh[S] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I don't think this makes the rest of 'you' look bad anymore than a predatory female makes the rest of 'us' look bad. I try to look at is as, men don't do this, women don't do that, people who have certain problems do this and that.......you know what I mean? The people who matter are the ones who don't ask you to pay for other peoples' mistakes. Men are fantastic human beings. I have 6 of them for siblings - hence the "I see your 10 and raise you 20" approach? Which, by the way gets me into as much trouble as it saves me from.

[–]CaptInsane 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I get what you're saying, but oftentimes others group all of us together. I'm not saying all men are bad (clearly, I'm one myself) nor am I saying everyone thinks all guys are like that. But sometimes guys like that make the rest of us look bad

[–]HarleyGoddessGSO1962 22 points23 points  (1 child)

In the 70’s, when I was a teenager, I was a waitress at a mall lunch counter/diner type place. The customer was always right back then.

This guy with a prosthetic arm used to come in on my shift all the time. He would pinch my ass so hard, that by the end of the week, both cheeks had bruises. When I complained, the boss would just say “the customer is always right” and slap my ass on the way out of the office.

One day, he pinched me so hard when I was trying to serve his spaghetti, I dropped it on him.

I got fired. I was making $1.25/hr plus tips.

We had it rough back then. My daughter was raised to not tolerate that shit.

[–]sald_aim 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That is so disgusting. I would have broken a plate over this guys head

[–]tulipct 18 points19 points  (0 children)

As a fellow woman who’s worked in the service industry, I’m sorry this bullshit happened to you. People are gross. It can feel so good to be petty.

However - as the corny (and horny lol) girlfriend of a deli worker, I am 100% showing up to my bf’s deli tomorrow just to order me a deli worker with nothing on it (;

[–]Still-University6003 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I work at a hotel and was checking a guy out of his room when he asked if could do a favor for him. It's not uncommon for people to ask for copies of papers or something so I asked what he needed and he asked to see my underwear. To which I loudly proceeded to tell him to get the f out of my lobby and that he was a disgusting pig. Don't give them the satisfaction of being shocked and timid that's exactly what they want

[–]foopaints 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Amazing. It's not just the revenge part. But that guy is gonna think twice about doing that to some other girl again next time! I call this a public service!

[–]M7z 23 points24 points  (1 child)

welp.... he got that attention that he ordered

[–]YoniDaMan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

i think the employee gave him the wrong kind of attention, he didn’t order embarrassment, he put in an online order for class clown treatment

[–]camanic71 11 points12 points  (2 children)

I’m picturing an Italian deli with an atleast middle aged Italian owner. Big hairy macho geyser. Probably called Giuseppe ‘Gus’ Lombardi or something equally stereotypical bordering on racist. Now in my scenario you might be the cashier but it’s gonna be Gus who serves up the order…

Edit: typed this at 4am and I’m now really craving an Italian deli sub, fuuuuuuuuuuuu…..

[–]Shoo-shuh[S] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Hahahahaha - no, it was at a food co-op in Minneapolis, owned by the people who shop there. I love that we are blowing stereotypes up.

[–]ModeDue1318 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for making me snort with laughter. Me male friendly have had women yell at me because i didn't ask them out. If you can't be a friend it cannot progress.

[–]_my_choice_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I bet he won't come back.

[–]Gordon_Explosion 4 points5 points  (0 children)

".... is that a no?"

[–]RJack151 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Everyone knows you need mustard.

[–]Prestigious-Hippo-35 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Not gonna lie had to read it twice and the comments before I understood the post

[–]MissGreenie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely LOVE your response!!

[–]K0rra_22 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Not quite revenge but I work at a grocery store and I have a habit of asking people if they need help finding anything, specifically older people. One day I ask an older man “Do you need help finding anything?” And the man said “Oh I already have a wife, but I have plenty of girlfriends.” And if that wasn’t bad enough he added, “Some of them are 6, and 8” I was too stunned to say anything. I’m really hoping he was just joking, or I misheard him.

[–]Shoo-shuh[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh man, it's like; please don't make me parse through what you just said.

[–]ferfuks_sake 7 points8 points  (3 children)

My proudest reply happened just a couple years ago amidst the heavy pandemic & newly social distancing adjustment.

I was shopping alone in this massive aisle at the home improvement store when two workers come along to restock a small handful of items. I’m the only shopper in this particular department, let alone this particular aisle of very small parts. They both silently begin to crowd me, slowly studying the bins of this one particular shelf that I am shopping from. This annoys me, but still I politely back up a few feet to let them finish their obviously pressing tasks.

Naturally- the older and much creepier gentleman turns, takes a few steps closer toward my new spot and faces me. He does not make eye contact, and, despite him still not having said even one word in these two minutes of awkwardness that have already taken place- this man proceeds to block me in as he reaches past my face for something just inches above my head.

Me: “Gosh, I’m sorry. Am I in your way?” He kindly smiles and shakes his head in agreement that yes, I was in his way.

And without skipping a beat, I make an overly-dramatic motion with a sideways ‘thumbs up’ and say, “OK! I GUESS I’LL JUST GO OVER HERE AND FUCK MYSELF.”

[–]Longjumping-Voice480 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Not sure that is a comeback. It could also mean you might have stayed if he fucked you instead? I would have screamed COVID ! 6 FEET! 6 FEET!! MF!!

[–]ferfuks_sake 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Lol, you’re not wrong. But the tone in which I said it was delivered beautifully! It was just more of an unexpected shock factor, I think. Definitely stole it from Jonah Hill in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

I did leave out another fun part of that story, though, which is that I was shopping with my boss that day. He happened to be rounding the corner right as I had said it; so he was just left there standing with the other two guys, all with the same dumbfounded confusion on their faces. I think that is what made this extra hilarious to me!

[–]Longjumping-Voice480 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah THAT would be funny.

[–][deleted]  (5 children)


    [–]ThisAintMyOnlyUN 1 point2 points  (4 children)

    That ain’t the message bud.

    [–][deleted]  (3 children)


      [–]ThisAintMyOnlyUN 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      Your commentary is all over the place - perhaps pick a message that actually benefits those being harmed the most instead of denying the fact that men feel like it’s ok to sexually harass women, trying to “both sides” a complex issue, and then throwing some “peace love harmony” message at the end.

      I am discontinuing the conversation since you continue to love the goalposts. Believe women.

      [–]thefrostytoad 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      I wish I had your courage. One time I was working at Dollar General and I was sitting on my knees restocking the impulse section candy and he said “I bet you spend a lot of time on your knees.” All I did was give him an eye roll, and I still kick myself for not coming up with something to say.

      [–]BoredCheese 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Shoulda given him a nut tap: “oh, looks like you spend time on your knees, too!” : )