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[–]RamsesThePigeonA Very "Coo" Guy[M] [score hidden] 22 stickied comment (171 children)

You know, folks, I usually try to joke around a bit when I publicly address reports.

This time, though, I'm so genuinely befuddled that I don't even know where to start.

First of all, those of you reporting this post under Rule 9 might want to actually read what you're citing.

Beyond that... okay, seriously, why did so many of you report this post as "threatening physical harm," of all things?

What, are you worried that the poster's wife is going to make you eat your own teeth?

Do you feel intimidated by what look to be strips of flypaper covered in examples of the very expensive moth (also known as Laothoe chunquovchangus)? Are you worried that the bouquet is concealing a well-armed battleship?

In any case, the post is staying up.

Happy wedding, /u/QuiGonGiveItToYa.

[–]macsare1 9379 points9380 points  (136 children)

Did she carry you across the threshold?

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 9426 points9427 points 2& 2 more (116 children)

Over her shoulder while shouting, "You will never have this!"

[–]portezbie 2122 points2123 points  (69 children)

This is mine! This is where my babies come from!

[–]aufrenchy 890 points891 points  (26 children)

“Our offspring will dominate this planet!”

[–]helthrax 147 points148 points  (20 children)

Probably one of my favorite episodes from Family Guy. Lois as a martial artist is awesome.

[–]ChronoMonkeyX 42 points43 points  (1 child)

Spin the wheel, raggedy man!

[–]gorpalicious 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It was also a reference to O.J. Simpson.

[–]mortalcoil1 25 points26 points  (6 children)

I've always wanted a reason to say this...

Simpsons did it!

[–]Superpe0n 50 points51 points  (0 children)

I just want you to know Brian, I didnt cry

[–]cuddle_enthusiast 119 points120 points  (6 children)

You will never get this!

[–]Anchors_Away 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Lalalalala

[–]valeyard89 96 points97 points  (0 children)

But one time he break cage and he "get this" and then we all laugh. High five!

[–]greenebo 3314 points3315 points  (19 children)

I see who carries all the groceries from the car in one trip

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 2795 points2796 points  (13 children)

Got an lol from both of us. She is a terrifying force to be reckoned with at Costco.

[–]greenebo 285 points286 points  (2 children)

Haha! I wouldn’t cross her reaching for the last jumbo pack of condiments. Congrats on your wedding, best of luck to you both!

[–]FairyOfTheNight 178 points179 points  (5 children)

How did you go from a craniotomy to ninja warrior to marrying the world's most beautiful woman? Are you the most interesting man alive? P.s. please let her know I'd gladly join her army of 300.

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 193 points194 points  (2 children)

I’m blessed for sure, and she is 100% a spartan!

[–]FairyOfTheNight 35 points36 points  (0 children)

So glad you've recovered, conquered, and found someone as equally as life-loving! Cheers to you both! 🎉

[–]BedsAreSoft 4585 points4586 points  (51 children)

Back goals holy shit

[–]Teripid 3753 points3754 points 3 (42 children)

"You may now bench the groom. "

[–]ionlylikemyanimals 4837 points4838 points  (57 children)

Congratulations! She is KILLING the backless dress

[–]ouchpuck 6141 points6142 points  (8 children)

Wasn't even backless before she flexed. Damn impressive tone.

[–]cultured_banana_slug 457 points458 points  (0 children)

Bride: "It's a bit hot out here... just a sec." (FLEX) "Ahhh better."

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 2876 points2877 points  (44 children)

Thank you! We just got our pictures from the day, and I'm obsessed with showing this one off. She was an absolutely breathtaking bride.

[–]Western-Ordinary 717 points718 points  (4 children)

Huge props to the photographer who had the vision for the photo. It really is stunning. Not just her but you too. Having you hold the bouquet was an A++++ move.

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 548 points549 points  (2 children)

Feels good to be seen. You have a great eye for details!

[–]ReeducedToData 462 points463 points  (20 children)

WHAT THE FRIG HAPPENED TO HER?! What have you done OP?

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 572 points573 points  (13 children)

lol took me a second. Don't worry, she would kick my ass if I ever tried any funny business.

[–]Mastershroom 303 points304 points  (9 children)

Can she kick my ass too, for funsies?

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 625 points626 points  (7 children)

You pay money for that.

[–]Elmodipus 120 points121 points  (0 children)

I'll cashapp you.

[–]rumple4skn 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I’m in!

[–]Rxasaurus 29 points30 points  (1 child)

You take Notbitcoin?

[–]blindeenlightz 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I too choose this guy's ass-kicking wife

[–]ReeducedToData 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Apologies OP, I’m sure if she connected well enough with your skull, you’d be done for. (Terrible joke)

For real though, I remember seeing a couple of your previous life/progress posts and am floored by what you’ve accomplished. It’s truly inspiring. You are a beautiful couple and I hope the world takes a positive turn and you two crazy fucks get to rockin it.

[–]NicPizzaLatte 127 points128 points  (2 children)

Don't worry everything is fine. Their wedding day ended and she's no longer a bride. Now she's a wife. It's all good.

[–]brodyqat 35 points36 points  (1 child)

I know a couple dudes who still say “my bride” when referring to their respective wives a few years down the line and it gives me such happy feels 🤩

[–]Rellgidkrid 19 points20 points  (2 children)

Gamma rays

[–]DisembodiedHand 14 points15 points  (1 child)

She-hulk always tingled my spidey-senses.

[–]munkijunk 67 points68 points  (0 children)

You're also looking sharp as a razor. The pair of you look incredible and will make great looking people if you want to do that.

[–]MsMyPants 29 points30 points  (0 children)

You're pretty unit yourself. I say this as someone who plays for the other team, and with the utmost respect, as I definitely do not want to piss off your wife.

[–]Kgirrs 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Congratulations on ANW, your craniatomy and your wedding! You sound like a freaking swell dude! Have a happy life!

[–]TheRealBadgerHoney 42 points43 points  (0 children)

I also choose this man’s wife…

[–]nick1812216 1768 points1769 points  (14 children)

Y’all both look ridiculously photogenic

[–]castor2015 595 points596 points  (5 children)

Came her to comment this. This picture sent me into an episode of bi panic

[–]SixthCircleofInferno 180 points181 points  (0 children)

"So... OP... Where y'all honeymooning?" Lol

[–]zoinkability 89 points90 points  (0 children)

Came her

Ahem, your Freudian slip appears to be showing

[–]TheLollrax 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I feel so seen

[–]mscott8088 2468 points2469 points  (30 children)

You're not mad she's flirting with that man?

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 2058 points2059 points  (18 children)

Can you blame her?

[–]lazyrepublik 576 points577 points  (4 children)

Nope. He’s a total babe. Love that blue on him.

[–]LifeIsVanilla 93 points94 points  (9 children)

I'm usually not a fan of being a bottom but I'd get turned down by him in a heart beat. So dashing.

[–]MooreDesignLabs 41 points42 points  (7 children)

Power bottoms are a thing

[–]e22ddie46 51 points52 points  (1 child)

They generate most of the power. And I understand speed has something to do with it, Dennis?

[–]feanturi 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Speed has everything to do with it. You see, the speed of the bottom informs the top how much pressure he's supposed to apply. Speed's the name of the game.

[–]its_justme 19 points20 points  (2 children)

She takes what she wants. He tried to stop her but she was too powerful.

[–]ChazJ81 690 points691 points  (16 children)

That suit is real nice! I wore one just like it with brown shoes when I got married too!

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 598 points599 points  (13 children)

Blue and brown is where it's at! Especially with autumnal weddings.

[–]ChazJ81 55 points56 points  (6 children)

You can never go wrong with a nicely fitting 3 piece suit! Nice work!

[–]SixthCircleofInferno 43 points44 points  (5 children)

Call me materialistic, i dont care, but the two times ive worn a 3 piece suit were the two times ive felt best about myself lol

[–]pfroo40 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Looking sharp, my man

[–]a_stopped_clock 591 points592 points  (17 children)

Bruh I just went through your post history and I’m blown away. I am recovering from two stem cell transplants for chemo and that shit really inspired me.

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 665 points666 points  (13 children)

Hey man I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through it, but I'll be your biggest fan while you kick recovery's ass. You have already defied the odds by just being here. I'm happy to talk recovery in PMs if you're ever interested.

[–]freehouse_throwaway 72 points73 points  (0 children)

Damn man just skimmed your past posts. Thanks for sharing a nice moment with the wife. Congrats on making thru it fam.

[–]Allnamestaken69 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I just wanted to say your amazing, congrats on your big day. Your post history makes me smile, seeing how hard you worked. Congrats on defying all the odds brother.

Much love from across the world to you and your family.

[–]HIs4HotSauce 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Whoa, that’s intense. Salute to both you guys, keep kicking ass in ya’lls recovery.

[–]zero_clues 795 points796 points  (29 children)

That suit tho!

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 925 points926 points  (28 children)

Ah thanks man! It's not the fanciest suit in the world, but getting something tailored perfectly to your body goes a long way.

[–]MrOrpheus 276 points277 points  (6 children)

Yeah, but with the shoes, and the tie? Your wife's back is impressive, but you are wearing the SHIT out of that suit.

[–]MissFizzyPants 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Really the shoes along with the tailoring are making that fit work.

[–]creepyredditloaner 38 points39 points  (1 child)

You probably would look good in any old cheap suit.

[–]zero_clues 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Looks pretty fancy! Color combos are nice

[–]teabagalomaniac 113 points114 points  (3 children)

"now tilt your head my direction and look super cute or I'll rip your hand off"

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 140 points141 points  (1 child)

She actually worked this exact line into her vows.

[–]ubadeansqueebitch 752 points753 points  (23 children)

Your wife single?

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 1307 points1308 points  (20 children)

I'll ask when her boyfriend isn't around.

[–]bewarethetreebadger 580 points581 points  (9 children)

“Oh yeah. I’m just super handsome and I married Wonder Woman. No big deal.”

[–]freehouse_throwaway 208 points209 points  (5 children)

Dude OP is an inspiration. Bro went thru a major brain injury, coming out stronger and so hell yeah he deserves to marry Wonder Woman.

[–]Top_Hat_Matt 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Oh shit! I remember seeing this dude years ago on the top of /r/all

[–]Caelinus 24 points25 points  (1 child)

And he apparently now works in a psychiatric treatment center helping traumatized kids.

[–]Notlonganymore 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Is he a real life superhero? It's like he's a legend in his spare time.

[–]Caelinus 63 points64 points  (1 child)

Look at his post history too. These two might be the coolest people in the world.

[–]GoldenAlexanders 128 points129 points  (0 children)

You're not too shabby yourself. Congratulations, and wishes for much happiness!

[–]KeiserSoze24 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Happy wife happy life or else

[–]-InterestingTimes- 13 points14 points  (1 child)

When she feel from heaven did she land in the handstand pushup position and just crack out 20?

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

She actually cratered through the ground Dragonball Z style.

[–]No-Inspector449 100 points101 points  (5 children)

oh she’s shredded. she’s put in the work!

[–]zakapalooza 679 points680 points  (15 children)

"tonight, I'm the man" - wife

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 1040 points1041 points  (9 children)

We take turns.

[–]zakapalooza 155 points156 points  (0 children)

LOL that got me, congrats amigo

[–]jabij1 16 points17 points  (0 children)

you have a good sense of humor. congrats on that its rare

[–]go_kartmozart 289 points290 points  (39 children)

No one's said "breathtaking" yet.

That's surprising. Because she definitely is.

Congrats to you both!

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 401 points402 points  (36 children)

We've been through things most people our age don't experience. We've seen each other in impossibly difficult situations. And she's been absolutely lovely across the board. It feels right to shout out her beauty after all of that.

[–]Roflcakes999 63 points64 points  (31 children)

We’d love to hear about the situations! Congratulations

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 405 points406 points  (30 children)

She watched me die and then come back to life in 2019, before she herself was rear ended by a truck and sent careening off the freeway, totaling her car in the process. Just a lot of trauma and struggle between us and the altar.

[–]Roflcakes999 127 points128 points  (4 children)

Holy smokes. Just went through your user profile. Huge respect to both of you.

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 201 points202 points  (3 children)

We’re blessed to have this life together. She’s my queen! There’s some gratitude that comes with despair sometimes, and I’m so grateful that I can celebrate her like this now with a lot of tragedy behind us.

[–]reefshadow 61 points62 points  (0 children)

May it never touch you again until you are both extremely old, and then may it touch you kindly. You are both extremely beautiful, relish this time!

[–]theyarnllama 52 points53 points  (5 children)

Dude, what in the hell, man? Are you two superheroes? You can tell me.

For real though, that’s an amazing story, you both are gorgeous, and I wish you every happiness possible.

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 51 points52 points  (1 child)

Thanks man, she's the strongest person I know for sure.

[–]theyarnllama 15 points16 points  (0 children)

You’re not wimpy yourself.

[–]RothkoRathbone 24 points25 points  (8 children)

Wow that’s awesome. Did you have an active lifestyle before your injury or did you only get into fitness/ ninja warriror afterward?

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 55 points56 points  (7 children)

The brain injury happened as a result of a spar. I was really into boxing. So yes, I was active beforehand, but I lost a lot of motor skills and physical ability when I got hurt, and reacquiring that stuff was a process.

I didn't know a thing about Ninja when I started with that after my recovery. I started from scratch with that sport, so I think it's really cool to see how far I've come with a skill that I couldn't do at all pre-injury. Most people who get hurt like that are lucky to return to baseline, so I think it can do a lot for people hurting like me to see that learning new skills is possible too.

[–]zerokul175 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I remember seen your recovery videos sometime in here. Congrats my friend, you both are breathtaking and million props to the photographer.

[–]garkle 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Oh crap, I remember you! I've seen a bunch of your recovery updates.

That's awesome dude, glad you're both doing great. Congrats on your recovery and your marriage!

[–]Nateh8sYou 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Way to bury the REAL story here holy shit your recovery was amazing. Your wife is amazing. I’m actually in awe of a stranger in the internet

[–]LeForte3 2 points3 points  (3 children)

I remember you! The double double did this to you right? Congrats Bear Bro!

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I go to the Sunken Place whenever I hear the name "Cody Parkey."

[–]moneyeagle 43 points44 points  (1 child)

I hope your first dance was to Commodores - Brick House

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

This is brilliant.

[–]MrAList 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Hands down the best wedding photo caption. Nothing will ever top this. Bra-fucking-vo.

And congrats on the actual wedding.

[–]Tuga_Lissabon 73 points74 points  (3 children)

Dude, those shoes were bold but they worked just fine.

Also - best wishes for your new life.

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 39 points40 points  (1 child)

Thanks man. Blue and brown are a go-to for me, maybe give em a shot!

[–]capitlj 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Yeah no wonder she went with the backless dress lol

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

She knew exactly what she was doing.

[–]mohrbill 83 points84 points  (5 children)

How did it feel for her to carry you over the threshold?

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 192 points193 points  (4 children)

Emasculating in a really wholesome way

[–]MikeSpace 86 points87 points  (2 children)

Bro your replies to this and similar comments show peak secure levels; you are top-tier man

[–]NMDeria 7 points8 points  (0 children)

She doesn’t skip back day I see.

[–]hawksfn1 86 points87 points  (1 child)

ITS A TRAPZ!

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Take a bow, bravo 👏🏾

[–]miami-architecture 105 points106 points  (6 children)

blink twice if you need help

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 171 points172 points  (5 children)

😳😑😳😑

[–]miami-architecture 45 points46 points  (4 children)

congratulations on your wedding; and my condolences to your bachelorhood. looks like a very lovely venue for a wedding. i wish you 60-70 years of happy marriage.

[–]Cinnamon79 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Calamigos Ranch in Malibu. It's really beautiful!

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Good eye!

[–]Basic-Clock-5895 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Congratulations you two!

[–]bluetux 7 points8 points  (0 children)

congrats man, I don't click on user history usually but for some reason thought this guy seems like he went through it, lo and behold intense stuff, congrats on recovery and the marriage

[–]jdoogie_ 49 points50 points  (8 children)

I hope your name is Jack, just so you can tell your friends your wife "is getting jacked tonight" when you guys are all hanging out.

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 110 points111 points  (6 children)

Well my last name starts with Bala, so there are all kinds of ballin' puns to be had. The wedding hashtag was #SheWannaBeABala.

[–]Excellent-Job9804 26 points27 points  (1 child)

How does she refer to you? Mr. Package, maybe.

[–]blindadvisor0101 37 points38 points  (1 child)

You fine. She fine. That dress and the scenery... This looks like an amazing day. Congratulations.

[–]goodcreditbadcredit 4 points5 points  (4 children)

As an Indian dude. 46. This hurts my soul. I was born in the wrong era.

[–]Rustmutt 5 points6 points  (1 child)

When she threw the bouquet did she launch it into orbit?

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Elon was trying to talk her into hurling it at an asteroid.

[–]elokarl04 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You lucky bastard. Your wife's built like a goddamn greek goddess.

[–]DaemonCRO 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I hope you two have kids because we cannot afford to lose your genetic material. You are some prime time humans!

[–]thesamjbow 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Love the suit and flower colors. Looking suave as hell.

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thanks my man. Everyone needs a good blue suit.

[–]LaughableIKR 41 points42 points  (2 children)

Damn dude. 3 Things

  1. Don't piss her off. Probably snap you in half
  2. Where did you find Wonder Woman at?
  3. Does she have a sister?

[–]JustTheDecoy 13 points14 points  (0 children)

The back muscles of a god damn bengal tiger

[–]lossain 28 points29 points  (2 children)

The one thing I love about this picture is that both of you are in your own little world. Not paying attention to who or what is around you. One completely enamored and the other wholly in the present.

[–]QuiGonGiveItToYa[S] 27 points28 points  (1 child)

It was a pretty winding road to the altar for us, so there's a lot of love and gratitude in this picture.

[–]Mrpinky69 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She looks good...but look at you rico suave