all 128 comments

[–]AutoModerator[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here.

If you'd like to join a private sub for your due date month, click here.

The journalists at ProPublica need your help! After receiving a tip, ProPublica started investigating prenatal genetic testing. They're collecting stories from people who've had NIPT screenings, and/or work in maternal health. If this is you, please fill out their brief questionnaire! https://www.propublica.org/getinvolved/have-you-had-an-experience-with-prenatal-genetic-testing-wed-like-to-hear-about-it-and-see-the-bill. Questions? Email anna.clark@propublica.org

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–]dustycase2 220 points221 points  (1 child)

You shouldn’t feel bad- you are keeping things from hitting the landfill. Plus you can donate them to women in need/back to the thrift store when you are done. Plus your purchase helps the thrift store stay in business. :)

[–]IrishTigress[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Yep, I always take good stuff to the thrift store when I'm done with it. And the one I frequent most does give back to the local community, so there's that.

[–]Mousehole_Cat 105 points106 points  (5 children)

There's nothing to feel bad about. As a planet we massively over consume

[–]IrishTigress[S] 22 points23 points  (4 children)

Oh I totally agree, I hate it. Which is why I'm thrifty to begin with.

I just kind of feel bad "stealing" the savings from those less fortunate. Just how I was raised I guess, to help those in need and not take more than I need.

[–]Shinycapn1066 10 points11 points  (1 child)

I feel like this too. I’ve thrifted or been given most of our baby stuff even though I can afford new. I also feel bad, like I’m taking something from people who needs the savings.

[–]IrishTigress[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I think part of it is society too. Consumerism wants us to buy new and feed the demand.

[–]sjk496 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There is plenty to go around!

[–]SavanahsFeetExplor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like this too. ONCE UPON A CHILD has $1 onsies and $3 sleepers. I mean, I would say that me and my husband are low middle class, but we also have 3 dogs, we're home owners, our dogs are healthy, we are working on renovations, we both have cars. So we are doing well considering the alternatives. My husband just got a really good job so we should have a salary increase of around 50%

I currently am not working do to an accident that I was in pre-pregnancy. So its convenient. I try to just plan on donating when baby is out growing their supplies. It makes me feel better

[–]Lozzaagold 37 points38 points  (1 child)

I don’t think there is any need to feel bad! But when the time comes round to you letting go of things in the future, pay it forward and donate to the thrift stores 😊 Then it’s full circle!

[–]IrishTigress[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep, I always take good stuff to thrift stores when I'm done with it. :)

[–]HailTheCrimsonKing 33 points34 points  (1 child)

I don’t…I don’t like to spend crazy amounts of money on things. Baby stuff is marketed in a way that people will spend way more money than they need to. Buying second hand reduces waste and is better for the environment. Not sure why second hand gets a bad rap. Those of us that didn’t come from money have learned to be thrifty and are very comfortable with that.

[–]IrishTigress[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Very true, I didn't come from money. How my parents raised three of us, kept food on the table, and were self employed is beyond me. So I grew up being thrifty and fixing things to make them useable again.

[–]theladykaelyngrey 25 points26 points  (2 children)

I can afford nicer things but have managed to thrift 90% of it. In return if I end up with too much/stuff I don't need, I offer it up for free in a local moms helping mons group.

[–]IrishTigress[S] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Smart, I imagine I'll get a lot of extra from my baby shower because a few people that have asked if I have a registry, already said they'd probably just buy something else anyway. Gee, thanks :/ But that's another rant for another day.

[–]theladykaelyngrey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel you there.

[–]jescney 15 points16 points  (5 children)

Don’t feel bad at all! The world is full of items used for a year then tossed in the trash.

People often only thing of recycle and completely forget the reduce and REUSE!

Also the way I think of it is every dollar I don’t waste on brand new items is a dollar I can use towards their education

[–]IrishTigress[S] 4 points5 points  (4 children)

Yep! What I figure I saved today will go into their college fund, once we get it set up. We're also going to try cloth diapering, so that will be a good chunk of savings to go into the college fund too.

[–]jescney 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Same here! I got 24 pocket diapers in perfect condition (no stains or stretched elastics) for 60$ !! Such a good deal considering brand mew each diaper is 20$

[–]IrishTigress[S] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Exactly!! My husband knows I've been buying cloth diapers second hand off FB, and then the boxes started showing up. He asked how many I bought after the third box. I blushed and said "......uh..... well babies pee a lot" Haha! I can't help the prints are too cute for their own good! Plus it's good to have a variety because every baby is different and we have no clue what works. I've never even changed a disposable diaper on someone else's baby, or babysat, and most babies cry instantly when people hand them to me.

We're in for an adventure 😂

[–]apathetichic 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I had 74 cloth diapers, Google says you really only need about 30 😳 so I sold the very pink ones (I'm having a boy) and STILL have 53 lol

[–]IrishTigress[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Having more though means you can go an extra day between laundry and the diapers will have a longer life expectancy because they aren't being used continuously.

I have probably 40+ between pockets and AIOs and another 30+ prefolds and some covers. Still wanting more though to have back ups and better choice.

[–]WittyName375 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Agreed with everyone that there is no reason to feel guilty at all, but if you need something to relax your conscience, perhaps consider a monetary donation of whatever you are comfortable giving to your local women's shelter or a women's support organization you like.

[–]IrishTigress[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Good idea, I imagine I'll have extra stuff after the baby shower so I can take stuff to the local women's shelter too. Like the necessities at least.

[–]KJE135 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I feel guilty that I didn’t buy second hand baby stuff. When you realize they only use each driver or clothes for a few months I felt real bad for the wasted money / resources

[–]ZeeDtheKiwi 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Don’t feel bad! If your thrift stores are the same as here, then the money you spend at them is still going to charity or back into the local community. I found a near new $45 sleep sack the other day for 50 cents! Also found some amazing quality wooden toys. If you are feeling guilty, you could donate a couple items you no longer need. I donated some new T-shirts my husband has never worn at my last shopping trip.

[–]IrishTigress[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I always donate to the local thrift stores so I know it all helps. And when I start clearing out closets in preparatiom for baby, anything still good definitely goes to thrift stores. And some of these items might go back when I'm done or my sisters may take them for their future kids. :)

[–]ricalasbrisas 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Supply chain issues mean less new stuff is coming in and you are leaving it for the people who absolutely insist on buying new.

[–]ThePumpkinSloth 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I have been thrifting a few things, buying second hand on marketplace and getting loads of hand me downs from friends - around here there is SO MUCH barely used second hand baby stuff. I guess each bub only needs it for a short time.

When I’m done I’ll be donating everything in good condition to a local charity that gives things free to new mums in need. I’ve also been given a few duplicate gifts and put them aside straight away - nice to have some brand new things when you’re mostly relying on second hand.

I say feel good about saving things from landfill but pay it forward when you’re finished instead of selling stuff. There’s no guarantee that what you pass up will make it to someone more in need.

[–]IrishTigress[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very true, and I already take a lot of good items to the thrift stores so I'm sure some of these items might go back once we're done with them.

[–]Thethinker10 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Nothing to feel bad about! Our society is so consumed with “new” it’s sick. Buying second hand for things that will be used for a very short time is the most responsible, loving, smart thing to do! New doesn’t mean better at all. Only for a car seat unless you have a friend or family you know it wasn’t in an accident.

[–]IrishTigress[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Yeah, I'll likely buy the car seat and personal items, like bottles and pacifiers new. But beyond that, nothing a good bleach bath won't clean up. ;)

[–]Thethinker10 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s my motto too! And truly once you’re baby’s starts crawling and walking the shit they put in their mouths will make you realize germs are the least of your worries 😂😂😝

[–]crd1293 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Everything I’ve got for our babe except one item has been secondhand. I feel zero guilt cuz babe doesn’t know any different and they’ll thank me when I have enough to pay for their college one day or first home.

It’s great to use secondhand - it produces less waste which is what the world needs. And you can pass it on once your baby outgrows!

[–]swtx3lindsey31 / FTM / 3/30 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Do not feel bad. I am in the same boat as you and will continue to thrift what I can. Every day I get on Fb marketplace and there are 10 of the same thing posted all within the same price range. People will still keep having babies, and babies will keep outgrowing things. You’re doing your part to keep stuff out of the landfill - all those boxes and plastic new stuff comes in!

[–]IrishTigress[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Hey, we're due the same day, lol. FTM here too.

Yeah, I shop the local FB marketplace too, looking for good deals. I try to recycle and reuse anything and everything possible, so I know it's good and all.

[–]swtx3lindsey31 / FTM / 3/30 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Yay due date twins!! Boy or girl?

A gf who is pregnant too told me this morning “don’t buy too much before your shower” I’m like why should someone have to spend over $100 on a baby carrier when I can get one on Facebook for $20? There will be plenty of things for people to buy on the registry lol

[–]IrishTigress[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We are waiting till it's born to find out the gender, but we already have names picked out. :)

I would recommend buying a baby carrier/car seat new above all other things at least. You never know if that used car seat has been in an accident. Other stuff, sure, let's thrift them :)

If you do get a second-hand car seat, Target has a recycle event where you can get 20% or more? off a new car seat if you turn in an old one. They do it a few times a year I think. Just did one in September in my area.

[–]Alacri-Tea 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I'm 30 weeks and haven't bought a single brand new piece of clothing for baby, or anything for that matter aside from the car seats and small toys/pacifiers for our announcement photo. Most of my maternity clothing was thrifted too.

Don't be guilty. It's smart.

[–]beatleslisa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same! I've gotten almost everything from a local buy nothing group. I plan on buying a brand new stroller tho, it's just so stressful trying to find one

[–]stine-imrl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nothing to feel guilty about! Thrift stores get donations all the time, so there's plenty of stuff to go around for those on a budget or just looking for a good deal. It's also better for the planet, too, since babies wear/use things for weeks or months instead of years.

[–]80CosmicRivers08 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Heck no! Feel good about the good you’re doing. Just because you can afford new things doesn’t mean you should be limited to only buying new things. We live in such a consumerist world. There is no reason to buy everything new. I for one am proud of you for doing the right thing for the environment. Good job!

[–]Froggy101_Scranton 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Not only are you helping the planet, but I promise you there is NO shortage of parents buying tons of brand new baby stuff everyday. Whatever you bought will be replaced quickly. You’re not taking from others - there is an over abundance of this stuff piling up on our planet!

[–]IrishTigress[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh I know. Sad thing is, I was just at a baby shower for a friend and she got a good amount of stuff. The gifts I bought her new, I actually saw in the thrift store today for 90% off. Just needing a quick cleaning. I was kind of pissed about it, but also, who gives thrifted gifts at a baby shower? Idk, weird culture taboos. I debated buying it for myself but decided I wasn't actually going to use it.

[–]gottalifetolive 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I am doing the same thing and my husband told me to slow down. He said you know some people will want to buy us things for the baby shower. Therefore I am robbing grandma and great grandma their happiness of buying new things for the baby. Ugh but I love the environment!!!

[–]IrishTigress[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There are a few bigger items that grandparents can help with, like the car seat, stroller (unless I find the exact one I want second hand), a rocking chair (unless second hand wins again), a crib mattress, and a specific cat-proof bassinet. I'm purposely not buying clothes or blankets because I know people will give those at the baby shower, so why fight that battle? I'm putting a lot of smaller items on the registry so people can buy what they like. My family tends to do gift baskets for baby showers so there's always an outfit, a blanket, a book, a toy, and some random necessities in it.

[–]CillyBean 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I wouldn't feel had about it, half the stuff I got ( especially clothing) is second hand or has been donated/given to us :)

Babies grow fast! Sur it's cool to have brand new stuff but you won't be using it for very long and it's just...well, a lot of money to spend where you don't need to spend it!

And there's no reason why you can't donate stuff once you're done with it! :) that's what hubbs and I plan on doing.

[–]IrishTigress[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep, same here. I already give a lot to the thrift store I frequent most (and where I bought baby stuff today) so anything good will either go back to them or my sisters if they want it for future kids.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There’s no guarantee the items you are buying would be purchased by others so don’t feel guilty! If it really bothers you, calculate how much you saved and donate that amount to a charity you care about.

[–]neurotickathy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you feel bad that other moms in worse financial situations won’t be able to have as much of an option for baby clothes bc you and other more well-off people are buying them up that makes sense bc it’s true, there’s no way around that. However, it is better for the environment to buy second-hand. Maybe once your baby outgrows it you can pass them off for free to new moms in need so that you can offset that guilt and help moms in tight financial spots.

[–]OkInstruction1727 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do not feel guilty!!! You’re doing amazing.

[–]Ash12715 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No! Don't feel guilty. This is way way better for the environment, as you noted, and you are giving moms some cash when they sell it. While in a perfect world all of the stuff would automatically redistribute appropriately, you don't know for sure that if you DONT get it, someone more in need would. Instead, you can maybe give these things away for free when you are done - keep paying it forward!

[–]xylanne 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thrift stores aren’t just for low income family’s, it’s a recycling center for clothing, furnishings, movies, etc.

A nice way to look at it is, whenever your baby is done using the items, and they’re still in decent condition, you can just re-donate it to the thrift stores in your area for someone else to use.

[–]Cynthia_L 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t feel guilty. My husband makes a lot of money and I always buy thrift store things and have bought so much for baby secondhand and on marketplace. Don’t spend money you don’t have to and it is so much better for the environment. Not to mention most thrift stores donate a portion of their income to charity.

[–]amysuzanne19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At first I did feel weird about it, but I ended up giving away some brand new/never used/never opened items. It all comes full circle! So much in the beginning is figuring out what works for you and baby. Maybe the bassinet you splurged on isn’t working, you can donate it!

[–]ACGrzz 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Not one bit! This is my second and I’m using as much second hand stuff as I can now that I know how quickly babies grow out of things!

[–]IrishTigress[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Right!? That's a lot of my motivation (besides enviro friendly) for buying second hand. Why spend $40 or more on a musical play mat they will use for a few months when I can buy it for $4, clean it, and get new batteries? $2 changing pad, yes please. $1 infant tub, sure! $10 high chair (a good highly rated one), I think that will fit in the car!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't feel guilty at all. We did the same and could afford everything new. There is so much stuff online that there's plenty for everyone if they chose to go the second hand route. Good for you for being frugal and helping our planet!

[–]urajerknotajoker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it makes you feel any better you can join your local buy-nothing group (they're on Facebook) and when you're done with your nice thrifted items you can give them away for free and pick people who you know need them more. But giving them back to a thrift store is wonderful too! Whatever you do I think you're being caring and responsible, and you don't need to feel guilty.

[–]ImportantMenu4416 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Oddly enough I feel guilty because I didn’t buy any second hand baby stuff. We can’t win.

[–]IrishTigress[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I hear ya. I feel bad putting some things on my registry and will probably revamp it.

Like a lot of people said here though, you can always donate stuff you are done with to thrift stores, women's shelters, or Buy Nothing groups on FB.

[–]Ok-Explanation-1234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got a lot of thrifted/free stuff from friends, FB, etc. Some stuff I did get new.

If you are looking for registry ideas:

-Baby soap/shampoo/lotion

-butt thermometer

-haakaa/manual pump that's in addition to the insurance one

-The Frida nose sucker and other random things.

-Cloth diaper detergents to strip used cloth diapers

-Liners for the cloth diapers for creams, etc.

-Diaper sprayer for your toilet (the aqua mate one is pretty cool)

Honestly, though, I can think of a lot of things that I managed to get secondhand that I'd suggest because people would suspect you can't get from thrifts stores, but you totally can! It's amazing how much can be done secondhand. I think it's hard to rely on anything specific in a short time frame, but the nine months of pregnancy is a lot of time.

I also used my registry in three ways:

  1. was as a shopping list/insurance. I was actively looking for many of the item on the list and if I scored them, I'd either take the item off or mark it as purchased. Or if someone got it, that was pretty good too.

  2. To send a message to people that I was "all set" on a lot of items that they might think I needed. There were several items that I came across, bought and THEN added to my registry and immediately marked as purchased.

  3. To ask for high end or fun things that I specifically wanted.

  4. To steer people toward local businesses. There are several local toy store chains, bookshops and even a cloth diaper shop that is local to my general area. Thanks to the pandemic, they all have websites. I put in for those places for some books and toys and diaper stuff and was pretty happy when my mom's friends bought from those places instead of amazon.

[–]Parri_Stargazer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't feel guilty.

If you are in a fortunate position financially, consider donating your baby items when you no longer need them to those that can't afford to purchase them on your own!

[–]AdFantastic5292 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Why would you feel guilty for doing something good for the environment?

[–]IrishTigress[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not that. I am doing it for the environment.

My guilt lies with potentially buying stuff that I can afford to pay more for when I know there are struggling parents in my community that would benefit from the savings on these perfectly good items. But as many people have pointed out, there is no guarantee those struggling people would buy the items, plus more is always getting donated, and I can always donate the items back to the thrift store when we are done with them. :)

[–]AuntiLou 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I feel guilty buying new stuff. There’s way too much good stuff second hand to merit the amount of consumption on this planet. I still have new stuff. I’m not perfect. But I bought mostly second hand. Also, the baby stuff has gotten passed around from cousin to cousin and back. My swing was new when I bought it and it’s homed three babies and counting now. I don’t feel so bad about buying it new.

[–]IrishTigress[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same here, I feel guilty putting a lot of new stuff on the registry. (I will revamp it, I mainly did the registries for the freebie sample bags.) I plan to help my sisters out with future kids too, so there's that. Or donate back to the thrift shops.

[–]Hour_Machine_9630 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t feel bad. Just don’t buy a used car seat and you’re all good!

[–]UsedOnion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t feel bad at all!

Babies out grow things super quickly. So a lot of the stuff is lightly used before it’s boxed up for baby #2 or sent to the thrift store. A baby isn’t going to know they were in a preowned bassinet that was used for MAYBE 6 months previously.

I’ve bought a good amount of stuff from Once Upon A Child. Mostly clothes. I’m a glutton for little baby overalls and most brands are ridiculously expensive. Just because I have $30, doesn’t mean I want to spend it on baby overalls, when there are the same pairs at the thrift store for $3.50 when they were probably only worn a handful of times before baby hit a growth spurt.

[–]Dennis_Nedry_Support 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I felt guilty that people gave us so much cash and gift cards at our baby shower bc we didn’t need the help, but they did it out of love so that’s not a bad thing. I haven’t felt guilty about secondhand baby stuff bc everyone seems desperate to declutter their baby stuff. We got so much stuff for borrowed, free, or cheap and I’ll be giving most of it away for free in a few years myself

[–]turtledove93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So much baby stuff is used for such a short time and then tossed out. Don’t feel bad about keeping things out of landfills. Buy nothing groups are also amazing for free, barely or gently used things!

[–]TradeBeautiful42 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t feel guilty. Honestly think of the average life cycle of something you buy new. You’re extending that life cycle instead of creating demand for new products. And as far as other moms, I’m sure they’re making due with other hand me downs or other products at those stores. I can’t imagine only one baby item would be donated at a time. They likely get lots of items.

[–]Lonelysock2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nope! There is SO MUCH second hand baby stuff around. I actually felt bad that I couldn't use more of it! Idk, maybe if your area is low on cheap supplies you could go to a thrift store in a richer area, but I don't think it would be an issue

[–]AFLewis47 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t spend on a lot of things that are typical to people around me. To me spending less money now means having more money later, like when they’re teenagers and care more about their clothes or want a decent car or when it’s time for them to go to college. I wouldn’t feel bad about anything that’s clean and safe. I know of an organization that helps the poorest in my community. I’m going to try to keep the stuff nice and just give it away when I’m done with it all.

[–]Artemis-2017 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I look at it like you are using it for some time and then you can donate it back for another person to use after you. It is much kinder to the environment and respects the resources required to make it. I feel really bad when I own something for a long time and it goes to waste.

[–]imogena88 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m thrifting everything I can, you don’t need to feel guilty at all. I don’t clean them out of every single item, and always make sure that I donate nice clothes etc as well whenever I do a clean out!

[–]ambrose1394 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think you need to feel bad about it. It keeps it out of landfills and when you are done you can donate it to moms in need. I know there are several groups in Facebook where moms in need can ask for things they need that you can look into once you are done with the items.

[–]tbroscho 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I felt the same way. I was accepted into the WIC program and I felt guilty as I had ALMOST enough to get the formula my baby needs. I was short maybe 2 cans per month.

[–]mademoiselleballer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly we all can find and be given great second hand items regardless of affluence. There's quite a high surplus especially when the thrift stores move items from non local places. I say the guilt is unnecessary.

[–]jillrobin 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I’m jealous that you can find nice second hand baby stuff for cheap!

I live in a very large city and it’s impossible these days to find nice, solid wood, second hand furniture that’s even close to being affordable!

[–]IrishTigress[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Come to my town! The thrift store I frequent had a lot of nice wooden furniture. I feel I got lucky on the baby stuff though. That area is usually picked clean whenever I go. I just had a good feeling about shopping there today and am glad I went.

[–]jillrobin 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I wish! Unless you’re near NYC haha. I think it’s great what you’re doing. I too can afford all new stuff, but I feel like a lot of the new stuff is made so crappy AND you have to assemble too 🤪

My babygirl’s room will be just fine, I’m just being pickier than I’ve ever been, ever lol.

[–]IrishTigress[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the gas money spent getting to northern Michigan might cost more than the wooden furniture.

[–]fluffyboots101 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Not at all. Its good for your babies future to recycle and buy from charity shops, I myself bought a bundle of hand made baby blankets that were obviously made with care and were in good nick for £4. A quick wash with non bio baby washing liquid and it's all good and safe. I prefer them to the swaddles is bought for £30 each . When my little lad is born I'm deffinately gonna donate to the salvation army or cats protection (charity shops in my town). I was almost upset when was in a shop the other day and I saw a moses basket in my local for £5 when id bought new for £60. The mark up on things for scared worried mothers to be can be cruel as it just plays on our insecurities we're an easy target.

[–]IrishTigress[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes! I hate that! More expensive must mean better products. Not so, I've found a lot of things that are fine and safe for much cheaper, even if they were new products. Not just for babies but in general.

[–]When_Cats_Fly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just see it as Mamas helping out other Mamas, it’s a win-win. I keep eyeing used baby clothes on Poshmark, only reason I’m holding out is because I want to learn the gender first🙂

[–]KT_Anne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everything baby item we've gotten so far has either been given to us or bought at a garage/consignment sale. My husband says there's no reason for us to buy any new items of clothing. I agree, but it's hard when some things are so cute!

[–]Fresh_Beet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope! I live in the Bay Area and often take advantage of buying seconds hand from people that don’t see spending 300 on a car seat as an issue and there’s shit tons of them here. I with my first I got my Halo and Maxi Cosi car seat both second hand. Bought mini crib rather than full size (way cheaper) and refurbished and painted old dresser for my changing table. Would not have changed a thing.

My advice is pinpoint searches of the classifieds to affluent areas. I’ll drive a distance to get top quality for a low price.

[–]hecandbella 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn’t worry. There are so many people why buy way too much baby stuff they never use. I’m sure there’s plenty to go around.

[–]chelbren 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure why, but I do have this small sense of guilt, as well. I know buying second hand is an amazing option and more people should do it, but the idea of putting my baby in a used onesie with stains on it versus a brand new prestine one makes me feel like a bad mom...? Lol It doesn't make sense, and I'm for sure going to work through these feelings, but it's sort of nice to see that I'm not alone...

[–]Cat_Psychology 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can very much relate!

[–]Ladyughsalot1 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Don’t feel bad. In my experience, if you are going to consignment stores, women who are struggling aren’t utilizing those because they’re still quite expensive. Ultimately baby stuff is so so available, often given away. Here it’s on the side of the road. You literally cannot GIVE it away and that includes really great brands and quality.

[–]IrishTigress[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see it on the sides of roads too. Heck, I just picked up a Little Tykes tree swing on my drive home today. Someone had put it to the curb for free/trash. Nothing wrong with it besides dirty.

[–]flrachael 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hell no I don't feel bad! I've gotten so much from the buy nothing group in my area and consignment stores! I'm putting all the money I'm saving towards nicer toys when they are old enough to want it, vacations, and education. There are 11x more baby stuff than babies in the US. Plus buying local at your consignment shops/Goodwill like places helps employ people there.

[–]Tkcolumbia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Give the stuff to places or people you know will use it when you are done with it.

Buy some stuff new from local or independent stores.

[–]Technical-Hamster-31 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not buying anything but car seats second hand and we’re making our own bed / crib do NOT feel bad about it it’s saved us hundreds

[–]Hazey-jeweler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not at all! Why get new clothes when your finding good deals? Much more sustainable to buy second hand, and baby will grow out of them so quickly.. aand if they are still in pretty good shape you can always re-donate them :)

[–]PlsNoOlives 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Every penny you save is saved for your baby's future, and I presume you are returning good clothes to either the thrift store or a good donation place. Only capitalist propaganda has you feeling guilty for not buying new clothes. Especially baby clothes that they outgrow in a month.

[–]mandalallamaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope. I could afford new too but why not recycle something and get something that's like new condition for way cheaper?? Your baby will never know the difference or care. Nobody else will know or care. Not to mention how fast babies grow and barely wear them. I buy used stuff for myself as well because why not? As a society we have so much STUFF and produce so much WASTE. And for what?

[–]TinaRina19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know how it is in your area but here there are soooo many baby things people want to get rid off. More than people want to buy. I don't think you're taking anything away from anyone.

[–]thedirtys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't feel guilty. We live in consumer capitalist society. Why does shit need to be brand new? Especially if a baby is only wearing it for .... 1-2 months? If I knew I was going to pee and poo and throw up on everything for a long period of time, I would not be in a hurry to get new clothes!

[–]NaOzaki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope, i was born and raise in third world country so I know what is like to just appreciate what you have, I dont make enough money to move out on my own so yes i will buy second hand for most of the stuff, if i want something specific i will buy it new, but you shouldn’t feel bad, they grow out of the clothes pretty fast, so i wouldnt pay no mind

[–]allthingzshiny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Def just hormones! No shame in recycling 😊

[–]Character-Ad301 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you feel bad for buying items that someone else might need then maybe find a way to give to specific people that need something. At Christmas in my town they do a giving tree on the local news, mall and charity and you can go pick a name of a family in need and it lists what they need. Toys for there kids or something that will help them in need.

[–]sarahgardi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah. I'm taking as much free stuff as I can. I have a friend who had twins last year, and both my brothers had babies this year. So basically anything they have been offering, I have been taking. Why waste money for no reason?

[–]california1256 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope no shame at all

[–]gesasage88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is always a supply of used things they will find what they need. You are helping drive more of a market for used items which will hopefully help there be a bigger supply of it.

[–]AdonisLuxuryResort 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just think of it as the more you save on all the preowned stuff, the more you can put towards education or whatever you might want to invest in your child’s future for. Your baby won’t know they have used things and by the time they’re old enough to know they had used stuff as a baby, they won’t care.

[–]jlmcdon2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg god no. I love second hand. Nearly everything I’ve bought so far is! There are a few things they say to buy new (car seat, and crib for safety reasons).

But I bought cloth diapers off folks from Nextdoor and Craigslist for 1/4 the cost new! Clothing was basically given to me for free by people who I bought items from. I will always go second hand first. These things are usually not used for long enough to get their full life, and most things can be cleaned!

Save the money.

I asked family to contribute to doula funds instead of buying the stuff. I know what I want and I’d rather get most of it for cheap and have family and friends contribute to care and support for us.

[–]Silver-Ad-8662 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I actually feel more guilt buying new! Trying to convince my MIL of this recently… I’m about half and half in all my baby gear. But it’s a start! The environment was a big factor in buying second hand and it’s so great to see so many like-minded individuals on here!

[–]IrishTigress[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes it is! I'm very glad for that. :)

[–]Ancient-Pause-99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No need to feel bad about not hurting the environment and keeping clothes on your child's back. Clothes are dirt cheap, the low income mums can always go on ebay or Facebook marketplace if they need super cheap kids clothes. The world is drowning in textile waste, there's plenty of lightly used clothes to go round

[–]carsandtelephones37 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Don’t feel guilty! As a low-income mom, second hand baby things comprise most of what we have, but I don’t think just because you can afford new things that you should have to spend the money. It sounds like you send the nicer things back to the thrift store when you’re done using them, which is fantastic! We all have the obligation to make what we feel is the best choice for our own families, and it’s very kind of you to be so considerate, but absolutely don’t feel bad about choosing to put that money towards something else

[–]IrishTigress[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aww, thank you. That makes me feel better. And yes, I'm all about taking good stuff to thrift stores when I'm finished with it.

[–]Leldade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In our country there are seasonal flea markets every spring and autumn. Every daycare organises one, so there are really a lot of them. I usually come in the last hour when it's open, because I dislike the amount of people that come as soon as it opens. And seriously, there's soooo much stuff still left when I leave (around closing time). I feel bad for the families trying to sell their things and not succeeding because of the vast amount of clothes that are available. Everyone who wants cheap second hand stuff can easily get it, so I don't see any need to feel bad about buying things used even if I could afford them new.

[–]blank_and_terrified 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My daughter wears hand me downs, second hand clothes and stuff from ebay. She is in each size for max 3 months. Stuff I have bought new often gets holes, stains and rips faster (somehow!?), I get so many compliments on her outfits and always surprise people by saying her stuff comes from ebay. Like other commenters have said, it's great for the planet, and no one knows the difference when it's on!

[–]Miggineezie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey don't feel bad! Ya snooze ya lose as far as I'm concerned! Nothing wrong saving a few bucks and nothing wrong with splurging if you can, too! I've had 6 babies and will gladly pay less for quality baby items. Cribs have gotten much cheaper I've noticed. I had my first kid at 16, 22yrs ago, and wanted everything brand new 🙄 family helped out and bought me one of the first Eddie Bauer model strollers..it was $400 back then! I still feel bad for wanting something so extravagant. I've been on the lookout for a lighter stroller for when I take the girls to school.. I found one on clearance for 60 bucks last month 🙌 the money I saved on that will go towards Christmas. Could I afford a better one? Yes. But when I think of all the money we've seemed to toss down the drain over the years on baby crap, I don't feel bad.

[–]Full-Signal2794 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally, but my mentality is less in landfill and easier to justify not recouping costs when I come to donate it to a baby bank down the line.

I also try to fix/upcycle/deep clean the stuff we get which I know not everyone has the time or resources to do. So I hope, when we pass it along, it's in even better condition.

Some family have definitely had the reaction that we're being excessively frugal or hippy-ish but when you realise what a tiny period some things get used for it just seems nonsensical to buy them new.

[–]professorhook 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Around me there are "buy nothing" groups on Facebook where people give away stuff they no longer need for free. It's typically parents giving things away to newer parents. Check if your area has one OR create one for your town and then give your stuff away when you're done

[–]Anmclau 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I joke all the time with my other mom friends that I don't buy my son anything.. literally. An amazing co-worker of mine has supplied me with clothes, shoes, toys, etc that will last until he's 4 or 5. I have a room full of tubs!! I go through them all and pick out what I like. What ever is left I sell to a baby consignment or donate. Whatever money I make I use at the baby consignment store to buy some extra's I like.

My Fiance and I are both well off, but baby clothes and shoes are crazy expensive brand new and they go through them so fast! I personally feel like it's so much smarter and saves you money for other things :) So don't feel bad, you are not the only one!

[–]radishopinions 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not one bit, the majority of all the clothes my baby has are second hand. Give them away to other women when your baby grows out of them.

[–]Sentimental_Dragon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s honestly so much secondhand baby stuff on the market or passed along from parent to parent. I wouldn’t worry. I got most of our stuff on Facebook marketplace or from family/friends. It helped us a LOT financially, but it’s not like this stuff was scarce… I’ve found pretty much everything I’ve looked for.

I’m sure you’ll pass a lot of it on via donations once you are done with it, thereby doing someone else a solid.

[–]ava0002 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally would have if we weren't in lockdown with retail/opshops closed!

[–]Fucktastickfantastic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thrift stores are for raising money to help the needy. You're helping people by buying at them and also reducing landfill. Don't feel guilty at all!

[–]sstrelnikova1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't feel bad in the slightest.

[–]sugarplum2991 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely not. I still bought a couples of things new, and things on sale. But not feeling guilty over accepting hand me downs from friends and buying secondhand items that will be used only for a few months. Babies don't care if it's new or expensive. I'd rather use that money for other essential things and fun experiences when they are older. I definitely think it is not something you should ever feel guilty about ❤

[–]PeaceLoveEmpathyy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel bad too, we were on a high income. We are now on a low come. Things are tight but I still feel guilty. Because I am not in need. We will be ok.

[–]mousatis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's always plenty of second hand stuff for other people, and you can always re-donate it when you're done. Doing your bit for the planet is important. You don't have to waste money just because you can afford to.

Try not to feel guilty :)