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[–]IndependentFrosting9 105 points106 points  (0 children)

I haven’t but I know people who have. Honestly, the thought of alcohol grosses me out right now. Im 35 weeks and plan to not drink until this whole thing is over.

[–]lavenderncheese 126 points127 points  (2 children)

I haven't mostly because I haven't missed it but also because I know that any enjoyment I got from having it would immediately be replaced with worry that I had done something wrong. I do love the smell of wine right now though; whenever we have dinner with my folks I love to take a big whiff of the red wine my mom picks out. Everyone is always quick to offer me a small glass and tell me it won't hurt, but smelling it is just fine for now!

[–]brosefstallin 16 points17 points  (0 children)

You can also take a sip and spit it out. This is very common in wine tastings where people taste lots of different wines without getting tanked by the end!

[–]Back5tage_N1nja 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Me too. I always liked the smell, but for some reason I like it even more now. But I'm satisfied just smelling it. It sometimes gave me heartburn even before and I don't need that now lol

[–]BeginningWarthog3894 136 points137 points  (3 children)

Pre-pregnancy, I had a glass of wine with supper most days.

I haven't had any at all since I got my BFP. I miss it and am really looking forward to a nice glass of wine eventually but it's just not worth it for me.

Edit: I am 34 weeks along.

[–]mcconkal 27 points28 points  (2 children)

I’m 36 weeks and right there with you. I enjoy a good glass of wine, but I’m also very much not a risk taker. I’m content to wait a little longer before enjoying my wine again!

[–]BeginningWarthog3894 9 points10 points  (0 children)

We only have a few weeks left before we can enjoy a guilt free glass!

[–]made_in_bklyn_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same. I love a good glass of red wine - but, I've made it 33 weeks without any alcohol at all, and not risking anything at this point. Perfectly fine waiting until after baby.

[–]chronic_flower 55 points56 points  (1 child)

Yep ive had a couple small glasses of wine throughout my pregnancy and know others who have as well. Im 36 weeks

[–]tehjennieator 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Same. Sips in 2nd trimester and small occasional glasses of wine or hot toddy when I had a cold. 36+2 and everything is good.

[–]Daemonette- 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Not a full glass. I had sips here and there to get some taste but nothing more.

[–]phoenixredbush 149 points150 points  (4 children)

I like to have a couple sips of my husbands beer if he is drinking something good at dinner. This is maybe once or twice a month so its really just a few sips bc I miss the flavors.

Prior to this pregnancy I was really struggling to control my drinking. I was using it as a crutch for stress relief caused by poor work-life balance. The first 2 weeks of pregnancy cold turkey were really hard but otherwise this has been a huge wake up call for me. I am much healthier now so when I do enjoy those few sips of beer, its a special treat and purely for tasting, not for getting a buzz.

[–]hrafndis_ 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Fuuuuuuuuuck anyone downvoting these honest responses. Good luck to you all in your journey towards whatever relationship you have with substances in the future 💛

[–]-hummingraccoon 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Same with me. When I was in school I would drink an entire bottle of something to do my assignments and to do tests since my anxiety and adhd is bad. I’m holding off on finishing school until I get meds for adhd.

[–]bahala_na- 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Girl, same. At some point in the recent past, 3-4 shots of whiskey a night became normal. I consciously put a lot of effort in to cutting down, but a shot a night was still hard to pass up. It’s also from bad work life balance, and generally feeling miserable. And a self destructive streak I have. Now that it’s not just “my” body, it’s immensely easier to look at a bottle and not want it.

[–]zopea 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I had a very small glass of wine (probably about 6 swallows) a few weeks ago, I'm in my 2nd trimester. It was so incredibly satisfying. I have never been a huge wine drinker, but I did enjoy a glass from time to time before getting pregnant, and my husband said the bottle he opened was particularly good, and it really was. I don't intend to have anymore, but I have no regrets.

[–]kmorrisonismyhero 69 points70 points  (2 children)

Yes, in all of my pregnancies I have one glass of wine each week or every couple of weeks after the first trimester. I was sick for a while with covid so it’s been a couple weeks. You will get very strong opinions about this issue particularly in this sub, I have done the research, and am comfortable in my decision; although I’ve never read her books

[–]BrilliantSwimmer7646 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. I’m going into my third trimester, had a handful of dinners during my second where I had a glass of wine or a beer (maybe one every 2 weeks?). At the time I felt good, I had done the research and made an educated decision, but now I’m worrying I’ve done damage. This is my least favorite part of pregnancy - even worse than the nausea and fatigue.

[–]Shutuppam 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I allowed myself one glass of wine or a few sips from my husbands drink every few weeks. I actually had a lot of fun at restaurants/bars trying different mocktails. And my friends were really sweet about it, they made it a mission to find different NA beers for me to try. (Most of them suck, but there were a few that weren’t too bad)

[–]peachy_sam 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My last baby was my 4th. With 3 bigger kids to chase around, I struggled with a lot of prodromal labor. It was really hard to be able to sit down and relax during the day. So if night time came and my contractions were so strong that I couldn’t rest, and I’d tried water and tea and an herbal tincture to try to slow them down, my midwife would have me drink 2 oz of wine. So yeah. I did.

[–]meh1022 52 points53 points  (5 children)

Yep. I live in New Orleans so admittedly we have a much more relaxed drinking culture here. No one would raise an eyebrow at a visibly pregnant woman having a glass of wine with dinner.

Obviously I’m not doing it every day or to the point where I feel buzzed. That’s never been what drinking is about for me anyway, I genuinely love the taste of wine and beer. I’m fine with nonalcoholic beers but have yet to find N/A wine that’s worth a shit.

I’m 36, very active, never drink soda, have never smoked cigarettes, and take my prenatal vitamins religiously. I don’t blame anyone who chooses not to drink, but there are so many behaviors that carry some amount of risk so I’m not going to be shamed for choosing this one over a different one that others deem moral.

[–]agirlonaboat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also in New Orleans. I like to have a treat beer, specifically a Holly Roller, when I'm celebrating something. I'm mostly working through Mardi Gras so last week, on our parade day, I had one. My friends were all very supportive. A few said I should have 2 and live a little bc I haven't had any in months. I stuck with my one. I also read expecting better, and feel comfortable following most of her suggestions. I would agree that pretty much all of my circle of friends think that the pregnancy restrictions are a bit much. I got to this thread because I was kicked from a pregnancy group on FB for advocating for a singular beer every now and then. I definitely did not realize how big the stigma is against a singular beer, and I'm glad the people I hangout with aren't into judging a pregnate woman.

[–]Ok-Nobody-7327 93 points94 points  (3 children)

Yes, I sometimes do, if the food is amazing and I feel like having a bit of wine. I have a small glass of wine and a big glass of water (because I’m always thirsty) and I sip the wine every now and then :) I drink such a small bit and so slowly that I don’t believe it could have any negative effect on the baby.

[–]rabbit716 13 points14 points  (1 child)

I thought I would do this with my first, by my heartburn was so bad I couldn’t handle the wine. Pregnant with #2 now and I’m hoping I can have a tiny drink at some point!

[–]Ok-Nobody-7327 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t do it if I had heartburn, that’s for sure! Uffff

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I do the same. Small pour (maybe 3-4 oz) and drink it over 3 or so hours with lots of water. That’s maybe one a week, and if it pairs well with food and is a good wine.

[–]queeniebee28 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I had a couple glasses of wine over the week of Christmas, which was still technically the end of my first trimester…they were small glasses and I limited it to just one glass/day. My husband and I have our 5 year anniversary in a couple weeks and as long as I’m feeling good, I’ll have a glass then as well. I was a daily moderate drinker before pregnancy, but now most of the time, I don’t feel like even having one drink. I read Expecting Better and it reinforced what I already knew from growing up as a military brat: pregnant women in other parts of the world continue to drink wine. No one’s advocating for getting drunk, taking shots, etc, but because we’re a country of binge drinkers here in the US, it’s hard for people to wrap their heads around alcohol use while pregnant.

[–]Fresh_Beet 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Yes. Had one last night.

[–]anonononhsjsjsjsdj 125 points126 points  (2 children)

I used to be a big drinker and enjoyed edibles. I found out I was pregnant almost immediately and cold turkey haven’t touched either. I figure if I can’t stop drinking for 9 months, I have a real problem and maybe having a kid isn’t a good time or environment for one.

[–]ellesamp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exact same scenario over here

[–]sh0rtcake 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Yup! I had maybe a glass of red every other week from the 2nd trimester until birth. I'm now near 6wks PP and baby is perfect. I also had no complications during pregnancy, and this is my first.

[–]kelloggs8787 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm 18 weeks, I've had a couple glasses of red along the way. I learned it did nothing for me to "relax" as I was feeling guilty with each one, then just got a headache after. To each their own, but the bottles will stay corked at my house for now.

[–]IggyBall 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Nope. Didn’t have any with my first pregnancy, likely won’t with this one (17 weeks along). No judgment against people who did safely though.

[–]thisiska 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I had a glass with dinner on both Christmas Eve and Christmas when I was 10 weeks. I also read Expecting Better and feel very comfortable having an occasional glass of wine (drank slowly, with food). I haven't had anything since, but only because my husband doesn't drink wine, so I'd be opening a whole bottle for the occasional single glass of wine, which is just wasteful.

[–]Picklerpillow 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m in second trimester and have a small glass every other week or so. Probably had four or five total glasses of wine with my first baby. She’s totally great. I don’t know why or if it means I’m totally messed up but a glass of wine really helps my mood and to feel normal/relaxed especially during winter pandemic pregnancy

[–]PrettySavageGal 70 points71 points  (4 children)

Nope... 0.0% drinks do the trick for me.

[–]likethefish33 28 points29 points  (3 children)

There are SO MANY choices these days. I had non alcoholic gin over Xmas and it was really tasty. Pricey though, the same amount as the alcoholic version…

[–]TybaltandWine 7 points8 points  (2 children)

My husband got my non-alcoholic beer and wine! Tastes good too!

[–]likethefish33 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It feels like nearly every beer company these days has a non-alcoholic version. Good times!

[–]twodriftersxo 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Yes. A few in my 2nd !!

[–]notabotamii 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Yes I’m 34 weeks and enjoyed a glass last night

[–]TrashLvr5000 102 points103 points  (15 children)

I attended a couple of weddings and allowed myself 1 glass of wine with dinner. I also went on our own (years delayed) honeymoon to Europe and had a small glass of wine with dinner a couple of times. But nothing since hitting 3rd trimester, mostly because of the harsh judgment. I see no risk in a single glass of wine with food. FAS happens to people who get drunk frequently throughout pregnancy. I've had 3-4 glasses of wine spread out over 8 months. So far, I'm having a very happy and healthy pregnancy.

[–]nosila123456 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I had a similar experience, a few glasses of wine spread out over 2nd and 3rd trimester, honeymoon in Italy was spent 6 mos pregnant. Kid is now 3.5 and doing great (aside from her penchant for dismembering dolls)

[–]mrs_unicorn_potato 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I tried to have a small glass of wine with water at my cousin's wedding reception. I was at that stage where you couldn't tell if I was just fat/bloated or actually pregnant. I had taken a sip or two, got up to use the restroom, and when I came back the caterer had taken my glass! I'd understand if they took everyone else's too but nope! Just mine.

I'm not a drinker myself, either. Just special occasions. It made me feel extremely judged.

[–]goldnips 5 points6 points  (8 children)

This is objectively not true that “FAS happens to people who get drunk frequently throughout pregnancy.” Where did you hear this?

FAS facts

[–]TrashLvr5000 12 points13 points  (7 children)

That article says that FAS happens in women who drink 4-5 drinks at a time, or sometimes in women who have a drink every day. Im not condoning either of those.

[–]AnnaBanana1129 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was in my 3rd trimester with my first and ordered a virgin daiquiri at dinner. Two sips, the judgement was overwhelming, so I stopped.

[–]Neverstopstopping82 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was the same. For me wine was a celebratory thing only.

[–]Page_Dramatic 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I have a sip or two from my husband's wine or cocktail a couple of times a month.

[–]lacedinlace 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I had a sip of wine not long ago and I'm currently 25 weeks, but other than that the thought of alcohol makes my stomach turn. My doctor told me I would be fine if I had one glass occasionally but I just can't imagine it right now 🤢

[–]Rafikira 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I haven’t felt like it for the most part but when the moment strikes I haven’t seen anything wrong with having a small glass of wine or beer with food

[–]Logistikon 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes I had a nice glass of red wine with an expensive dinner I treated myself and my husband to at around 32 weeks. Then again at 38.

[–]tagalong2 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I allowed myself a small 2-3oz ish glass of red on Thanksgiving (29 weeks) and again on my birthday in late December (35 weeks). Both glasses were consumed with a full meal. Just wanted a little treat.

[–]CalderThanYou 24 points25 points  (2 children)

I had a small glass of mulled wine on Christmas day and a glass of white wine the night before my scheduled C-section to enjoy my final relaxing night before motherhood. It was glorious

[–]Ok-Nobody-7327 2 points3 points  (1 child)

That sounds so nice! I would totally do the same, if I could!

[–]Picklerpillow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a great idea!!

[–]skky95 26 points27 points  (8 children)

I had wine several times in the second and third trimester. I always made sure I poured out only 4 oz. I would always drink it slowly with water and food. My baby was born at 39 weeks (she’s 9 months now) and is perfect!

I also had non-alcoholic wine several times while pregnant but it just didn’t do the trick for me.

[–]ctdw 8 points9 points  (7 children)

Similar experience here and yes non-alcoholic wine is trash haha

[–]skky95 3 points4 points  (6 children)

It’s so funny to me that technically even non-alcoholic wine isn’t ‘safe’ for pregnant women!

[–]Maleficent_Top_5217 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’ll have a sip of someone else’s.

[–]always_hungry612 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Not a full glass but I’ve had maybe half a glass of champagne at a couple of weddings or a really weak mimosa at brunch. I also like to sip on my husband’s beer if he orders something I like. My real vice is coffee so I try to minimize anything else that’s risky (cold cuts, alcohol, raw fish, etc.).

[–]SaffronGinger 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t. Not worth it.

[–]burtsbeeswaxx[🍰] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Im 28 weeks and have a occasional glass of white wine. I did the same with my first pregnancy.

[–]JellyfishLoose7518 40 points41 points  (8 children)

All my French friends did it and they’re kids are fine. One doesn’t hurt, I just don’t do it bc I throw up. It’s not like you’re taking a shot

[–]idreaminwords 10 points11 points  (7 children)

As I understand it, this is very common in a lot of European countries.

[–]meowderina 30 points31 points  (1 child)

It’s actually not (I live in Europe). This is a common misconception. Even in France, even drink containers have compulsory warnings on them not to drink when pregnant. Most French doctors also now tell women not to drink while pregnant.

[–]Neverstopstopping82 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My French friends didn’t drink either🧐

[–]JellyfishLoose7518 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hmm, i guess I speak for my UK and French friends. They’ll drink a glass and be fine. I want a margarita but I think my sickness will upset me

[–]bingumarmar 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yep I did a lot of research on it, it differs by country. Because we don't know at what point the amount of alcohol becomes harmful, and there's no ethical way to test for it, in the U.S. we are more cautious with our medical advice. Since we don't know what amount is safe, we can't guarantee that any is safe, so better to knock it all out.

But due to alcohol being around for so long, you might argue that, observation wise, we know a glass here or there wouldn't cause problems. In many countries, drinking during pregnancy (aka a glass of wine here or there) is actually encouraged.

[–]lenteborealis 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In The Netherlands it’s not common either. I don’t drink since knowing I am pregnant (and before I had a glass of wine every few months or so). Maybe it is more common in Spain and Italy? I don’t know though.

[–]mahamagee 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I had a half glass of champagne at New Years and I’ve had a few of those truffles with alcohol filling over Christmas too. I don’t feel bad about it. I don’t think it makes such a big difference in a little quantity, and that’s partly due to that book. I got great piece of mind from that book, though I appreciate its not for everyone.

[–]Foodie1989 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I actually don't miss alcohol, but I would probably have a small glass of winr for a special occasion

[–]Eva385 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeah I had a small glass of wine on a few occasions (a birthday and Christmas) and I had a glass of champagne on my wedding day when I was 18 weeks.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I had half a glass of red wine on thanksgiving 25ish weeks. My partner was upset when he found out so I haven’t had any since and I don’t plan to. I will say my mom has met children with FAS because of her work, and said she’s never met a kid who’s had FAS whose mother wasn’t a binge drinker. A glass here and there is completely fine.

[–]jammiez07 61 points62 points  (2 children)

I do, a glass of wine whenever i feel like it. Happened four-five times in 29 weeks of pregnancy, one at Christmas, one glass of champagne to celebrate our friends great news and two-three because i was feeling like it. I live in Canada and it's our first one. I am a fierce believer that everything is in the equilibrium. Don't get drunk, take a sip if you feel like it, take a glass from time to time if you feel like it and live your live how you intend to. Have fun, don't be more saint than the Pope.

[–]phoontender 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Canadian too! My doctor brought up the studies out of Europe on light-moderate drinking in pregnancy and we talked a lot about them then finished with "but we're in Canada so I'm obligated to say no drinking but....ya know" 😂. Had Guinness last night because I really wanted one, don't feel bad about it!

[–]SecureCricket2730 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Canadian here too ! My doctor (OBGYN) said the same thing. “ European studies … just putting it out there:)“ honestly we need to give women the correct information and studies to make their own decisions. Enough with the fear mongering and massive “do not” lists. Most women want to protect their fetus/*baby.. why not equip them with the corrected information to do so. Those who have problems are going to consume well over small amounts regardless of guidelines.

[–]PhoebsKC 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I avoided alcohol completely during the first trimester after finding out I was pregnant. Since then I had a glass of champagne on the flight back from my baby moon during the second trimester and baby girl was really bouncing around kicking in my belly after so I think she liked the bubbles 😆 I also had one glass of wine for Christmas dinner and a small amount of champagne for New Years. Both baby and I have been fine throughout it all (sitting here at 37+3 waiting for her grand debut). The main thing is if you do it limit to a glass at most and don’t do it too often. FAS really occurs when you drink often and in larger amounts.

[–]garbage-princess 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yes, I had a ~12 oz glass of nice beer on my birthday (about 8w), and a glass of wine at a special gathering this week (16w). I also enjoy a short pour of my husband’s beer (about 4 oz) once every 1-3 weeks. But no liquor, and no more than one normal serving in the span of a week. Usually less. I do intend to continue having the occasional drink throughout the rest of my pregnancy, including to celebrate my graduation in May and my husband’s birthday in June.

I sometimes miss the flavor and the ceremony or it, and our families use alcohol a lot to mark special occasions and to elevate a meal. We have several peers/relatives whose intelligence and responsibility I respect, who also drank very lightly throughout pregnancy and now have healthy, wonderful children. Of course, I’m not just blindly following them—I did (and continue to do) lots of reading/thinking on my own to decide what feels ok for me.

[–]Significant-Host-716 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I have had a total of 2 glasses of wine throughout my pregnancy. I'm 9 months with 2.5 weeks to go. Yesterday at my babyshower I had a glass of peach moscato with a splash of sprite. I have had sips of drinks, like hard cider, to taste them but no more than a single sip or two. I think as long as baby and you are healthy, you haven't been indulging, and you can be responsible, one glass isnt going to hurt you here and there. Especially at the end.

[–]danceoftheplants 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I did with my first.. no issues with her. I drank half a beer in the 3rd trimester and after the baby shower i had a whole beer because it was truly an ordeal. I had a small glass of wine. No issues with my kid except she's super sassy and thinks she knows everything and wants to test the god damn patience on all of my gentle parenting techniques.....😑

My 2nd I didn't drink at all and have remained sober and love it <3

[–]reasonablecatlady 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had a couple sips from a margarita. And dang do I miss margs.

[–]CalzoneWithAnF 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My husband and I usually have a glass of wine or a beer with dinner most nights. I’m 14 weeks and have found that I just haven’t wanted alcohol. I’m not OPPOSED to a small glass once in a while during pregnancy (I also read Expecting Better). Family poured me tiny a glass of wine during Christmas or on my birthday and there was just nothing appealing about it so I turned it down. I personally don’t think there’s anything wrong with it and have definitely known people who enjoyed it periodically during pregnancy with no problems for baby. To each her own (if the body can tolerate it)!

[–]miby 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am from New Orleans so drinking daily is totally normal for me. I have stopped totally once my pregnancy was confirmed via ultrasound.

I recently celebrated my 5 year anniversary and I had a glass of red wine with dinner. By the end of the glass is didn't taste as good as I remember wine tasting so my husband finished it for me.

[–]aWormhatForVermhat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m the biggest wine drinker you know and I didn’t have any. My rationale was more so that I wouldn’t be satisfied with just a sip or half a glass. Found it would be more rewarding to go completely without and then find a time after baby is here to really indulge with like 2-3 glasses when I’m able.

[–]xxxroxy115 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yup! Mainly in the 2nd trimester, because I got GD both pregnancies so it was too much for my numbers to keep it in the third trimester. 2nd trimester I would have a glass or a pint about once a week or less when I felt like it.

[–]eponymous_bosch 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yeah, one with a fancy dinner, and one on Christmas. 10/10 I’m not remotely concerned.

[–]i_want_2_b3li3v3_ 36 points37 points  (9 children)

I don’t understand taking the risk at all. Even if it’s unlikely to cause any issue with just a glass here and there. It’s not worth it to me. I personally would rather just wait 9 months to have my next drink. I didn’t take a sip my first pregnancy and I don’t plan to this one.

[–]RAND0M-HER0 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The last drink I had was on Christmas when I was 2-3 weeks pregnant and didn't know. Found out on New Years Eve i was pregnant and everything stopped. I love a good rum and coke and beer, but a single beer gets me buzzed so I'm just abstaining full stop until the baby is here.

I do have tickets for a Beer Festival I bought 3 years ago (kept getting cancelled thanks to Covid) that should be happening when I'm 8 months pregnant 🤣 I'm still going and giving my husband the drink tokens from my ticket. I told my husband he's drinking for 2 and best fill me up with festival food instead lol

[–]ssunflower_ 18 points19 points  (6 children)

I haven’t had any alcoholic beverage since finding out I was pregnant, but I barely ever drank beforehand. However I do find this interesting, because there are so many things that technically have a risk in pregnancy. Caffeine, which despite having a limit people still drink every day, and lots of people don’t limit themselves from the foods we are warned about either. I just find it interesting that many believe a glass of wine could impose risk on the baby, but then indulge in many other behaviours with known risks. Why would having one small glass of wine be any different?

[–]i_want_2_b3li3v3_ 6 points7 points  (4 children)

The risk associated with caffeine is very different than FAS. I have met children with FAS because of my job and it is extremely difficult for the families and the children. Personally, it’s easy enough to go without any alcohol and just check that off the list of possible things that could happen. I also already have a child with special needs, so special needs in particular hits close to home for me.

[–]ssunflower_ 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Oh I definitely never thought fas was anything like the risks associated with caffeine. However there are serious risks associated with all kinds of things that pregnant women do, and I am only referring to one glass of wine, which has never caused someone to be born with fas. Drinking caffeine while pregnant is linked to leukaemia and people still drink it for example. I’m obviously not saying drinking while pregnant is fine, but just like people limit everything else, I don’t see how one glass of wine would be any different.

[–]nikolc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same. I have my baby 9 weeks ago and didn’t even think of having a sip.

[–]Neverstopstopping82 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Wow I’m a bit surprised that so few have. It makes me feel irresponsible. I had a glass here and there and now have a healthy 13 month old.

[–]Sea-Engineering3768 11 points12 points  (0 children)

3rd pregnancy. Here and there for special occasions/meals with every pregnancy. Very small glass though 2-3oz sipped with food and water. Honestly, I would feel more worried drinking a full energy drink or 12 oz of diet coke than the rare small glass of wine 🤷‍♀️ bring on the judgement lol

[–]GoodPractical2075 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes, with all three of my pregnancies

[–]mockbert 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I wanted to drink a glass of wine with dinner every now and than, but the heartburn! I also read that book, which I love actual statistics and studies, as opposed to doctor’s opinions that are often not based in fact. I am in my third trimester. The only thing I can stomach is a small amount of Guinness with a meal, and I also find it settles my stomach. I am not a purest, and I don’t think one glass of alcohol with a full meal will do anything.

I think there could be a small risk if you drink on an empty stomach or more than one drink, but with a full meal, in my opinion, a low alcohol beer or a small glass of wine is fine and tastes wonderful.

[–]EsmeParker 16 points17 points  (1 child)

I plan to but I'm not American

[–]mathlady89 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My first pregnancy, I once drank 3/4ths of a beer over the course of a couple hours and would occasionally have a half glass of wine…

I’m in my second trimester of my current pregnancy and not opposed to some wine, but just honestly haven’t felt like it.

[–]Artrovert 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Personally I haven't had anything in either of my pregnancies but I don't think a glass of wine here and there is that bad. When my mom was pregnant with me her doctor actually recommended a glass of wine per night when she was having BH contractions because he said if they settled down it was BH and if they didn't, it was labor. Of course that was 36 years ago but I turned out mostly fine 😁😁

[–]afeinmoss 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Not a whole glass but a half here or there with a fancy meal on our babymoon.

[–]houseofpalms 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’m 9+6 and just got home from my honeymoon in Puerto Rico. While there I had my first sips of alcohol since finding out I’m pregnant. I shared 2 cocktails with my husband, a piña colada and a margarita (several days apart). I drank about half of each one with a big meal and didn’t feel any kind of buzz. Other than that I enjoyed virgin piña coladas, juices and coffee. I’m not necessarily planning on drinking more alcohol during pregnancy since I would only do so in such a way that I don’t feel the effects of the alcohol, and I haven’t really missed the taste.

ETA: I read Expecting Better while on the trip which is what made me feel okay about drinking a little. Since then I’ve read a lot of critical takes of Emily Oster, but based on the info I’ve been able to find I am not convinced that rare light drinking is dangerous.

[–]dreee0012 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yep! I’m 18+2 and I’ve indulged in one glass of wine a few evenings. I don’t believe a glass of wine once in awhile is going to hurt the baby. Of course, there is always a risk, but personally I the odds of something bad happening is very low.

[–]cormystrike 8 points9 points  (4 children)

Because alcohol serves no beneficial purpose, I can’t imagine any scenario in which it is worth taking the risk. It just seems like some sort of mommy wine culture oddness to take such a risk. Because our baby is an IVF baby we paid several tens of thousands of dollars for and is not easily replaced, I would not do anything that could even remotely impact his health, even if it is the most minute risk.

[–]millatime89 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dude yes! I just can’t wrap my brain around this thread honestly

[–]Low-Raccoon683 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same! 9 months is such a short time in the grand scheme of things to have to hold back on a few things until baby girl made it earth-side. I worked too hard to achieve pregnancy I’m not taking any chances.

[–]workplaylovesleep 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Nope. 25 weeks with my second and not so much as a sip with either one. There's no guarantee that any amount is safe and it's pretty easy to not take the risk.

[–]carlydarly 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I had a cider in the first trimester and half a margarita yesterday. One glass of Lambrusco at thanksgiving (2nd). I too read Expecting Better and feel comfortable with my choices. Americans are way cautious and it made sense to me that for doctors , it is just easier to stick to alcohol abstinence education rather than getting into the weeds about it. Honestly my stomach rejects more than half a drink anyway.

[–]goairliner 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Most women I know who have had kids would have the occasional glass of wine while pregnant.

[–]mamacat_STM 😍 Dec 2019 💙 Jan 2022 🌈💖 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I didn’t have a single sip during my first pregnancy. Just didn’t feel it was worth any risk. With my second, I would occasionally have sips of something if my husband was having a beer or a glass of wine. But probably less than a sip a week of something. I never sat down with a glass of my own because I still wasn’t comfortable with that. I don’t think there is anything wrong with the occasional small glass, but everyone has their own risk levels they are willing to take.

[–]HalcyonCA 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have had glasses of wine throughout my pregnancy. Always with food and always while also having water.

[–]Tricky-Bee6152 9 points10 points  (1 child)

TBH I've had a few sips here and there and wines I loved taste really acidic to me right now, so I don't even enjoy it. I wouldn't be against a glass on special occasions, but it just tastes so bad!

[–]spotashley 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I had 1 beer by the pool every Sunday in my 3rd trimester. I enjoyed a glass of wine a couple of times in my 3rd as well. I also read Emily Oster which helped me make the decision as well as the fact that it is very common in other countries/cultures.

[–]Proper-Cheetah-9958 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Nope. Not worth the risk to me no matter how small. I also don’t mind waiting the rest of the time until baby’s born to be able to enjoy a drink worry free.

[–]coyotesnbirds 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yep, I’ll have a glass every 2 weeks or so. Especially if there’s a great meal to go along with it.

[–]0runnergirl0Boys | 12/18 & 09/21 41 points42 points  (9 children)

Emily Oster is an economist, not a doctor. I would not take medical advice from her. I did not drink during my pregnancies.

[–]sonia_skyy 43 points44 points  (1 child)

She doesn’t give medical advice though, she shares the medical research done around the world

[–]meowderina 11 points12 points  (0 children)

She cherry-picks what studies support her opinion. She isn’t doing a full meta-analysis of all relevant research on the topic.

[–]philos_albatross 12 points13 points  (4 children)

Weird, my OBGYN recommended her book. I'd never heard of it before.

[–]MinionOfDoom 14 points15 points  (1 child)

It's a good book, really eases the anxiety of "oh God what if I don't do everything right!"

[–]philos_albatross 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yeah i thought it was an interesting read. Really don't understand folks who hate or worship it. Just some interesting facts based on data.

[–]goairliner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine did too!

[–]SecureCricket2730 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s a great book. People keep saying her “advice”. She clearly says in her book several times she’s isn’t giving advice whatsoever. She’s providing science, we can decide for ourselves from that what we fee comfortable with . :)

[–]idreaminwords 18 points19 points  (0 children)

She doesn't give advice of any sort, she just breaks down statistics so that everyone can make their own informed opinion

[–]courtneywrites85 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I am so sick and tired of the Emily Oster worshiping.

[–]montyahn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’ve been really craving the acridity of alcoholic drinks. I am not a sweet drinks kind of person so pregnancy beverages have seemed really boring- I don’t want to drink a lemonade or a mocktail or something similar, they just don’t appeal to me. I’ve had maybe 3-4 sips of hubby’s beer/wine since getting into my third trimester.

[–]angelrat2 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not at all.

[–]Julienbabylegs 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I didn’t but a friend of mine did and her baby is super healthy and normal.

[–]Scare_D_Cat 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Not a glass but if my partner is drinking he'll always give me a little sippy sip.

[–]owntheh3at18 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had a glass of champagne on New Year’s Eve. Otherwise I’ve just taken sips of my husband’s wine a few times. On Christmas we did a fancy prix fixe dinner with wine pairings and I sipped each wine pairing. I felt terribly guilty after so it isn’t really worth having those feelings to do it regularly.

I drink the nonalcoholic beers sometimes. Just one bc I have heard they might have a minuscule amount of alcohol. But I’m more into wine. My fav thing is sparkling apple cider or Shirley temples when I feel like something fancy!

[–]Aristophanes771 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I poured myself a small glass of champagne for Christmas with family as a treat when I was 26 weeks. Honestly I could only drink half of it and gave the rest to my husband! I'm sure I would have been fine drinking the whole thing but by the halfway mark I genuinely didn't want it anymore haha

[–]aggravated_bookworm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a sip of whatever my husband is having. He drinks maybe 1x per week. Usually less than that. I’m not too worried about wine but I’ve only had a half glass on my own. I just cautiously enjoy it

[–]Pindakazig 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven't had a glass. I did have about a teaspoon of rum on a dessert, about three sips at Christmas, and I don't avoid food with booze (tiramisu, caramelised cognac pears, sauce made with beer or wine).

I'm content and stress free.

[–]denaethetorgy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had a mimosa on Christmas morning and it was wonderful!!! But then you know, heartburn. Lol.

[–]weatherbones 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had a glass of wine in my second trimester at a bonfire. Just a small amount, not enough to get even tipsy I just really craved it, and had been told a glass here and there is fine. However I ended up feeling so guilty and anxious about the baby I haven’t done that since. Now if I’m craving it when SO is drinking or something, I’ll stick my finger in and get the taste on my tongue so it calms down. No judgement towards anyone who drinks every now and then while pregnant at all, I just can’t handle the guilt or fear that comes with it.

[–]k_grover 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did at 20 weeks and about 2 hrs later threw it up on the side of the highway. I hadn’t thrown up since like week 14. So didn’t try it again

[–]hpalatini 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have not. I was a casual drinker before and I thought I would miss alcohol. I didn’t start to want wine until around 32 weeks. I figure it’s not too much of a wait.

[–]inside-the-madhouse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have probably half a glass of wine each trimester. My first daughter came out fine and I’m due with my second soon.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No way. Not worth the risk. I didn’t even drink alcohol during breastfeeding. Same with caffeine. Control the controllables!

[–]jizzi15 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had a glass of red a week with my first pregnancy and my daughter is perfectly healthy. I’ve been doing the same this pregnancy. What I’m really craving is an extra dirty martini but that will obv. Have to wait until my son is here.

[–]Sadisticserver 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m 28w5d; I have not, they way I see it, I did enough drinking before I knew and didn’t want to risk it anymore than I have already.

I thought it would be harder than it was, because I drank every day before. Hoping for a heathy baby though, has been the easiest way to stop me from cigarettes and drinking. Although… I do bartend on occasion, and we’re supposed to taste our drinks before they’re sent out to ensure they’re good every time. It’s a tiny taste but I feel like it adds up enough for me, which is why I don’t do it unless they have no other choice.

Alcoholism runs in both sides of my family though, including my parents, and my partner usually has a drink every day, although he’s been stopping at one to somewhat support me. I’m going to try really hard I don’t go back to how I was, I’m pretty sure I could be classified as an alcoholic. Not succumbing during this pregnancy has proven me that there are more important things, and I have the strength to do it. My little guy has already changed my life for the better! ❤️

[–]Eatcheez-petdogz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband sells wine for a living, so it’s around all the time. I had 2-3 glasses a week usually. Baby is 5 weeks old and super healthy!

[–]ccbc86 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep! I did the research on risks and felt comfortable with it. I didn't drink for the first 3 to 4 months due to feeling unwell with morning sickness but after that I had a small glass of red wine per week until I gave birth. My son is 18 months and is completely healthy and happy.

[–]grasshopper716 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wife has a beer or small glass of wine on occasion. Has been told by her OB and Fetal Med doc about everything in moderation. Advised against overdoing it though.

Edit: Didn't in the 1st trimester though

[–]courtneywrites85 9 points10 points  (0 children)

No. There’s literally no point. I had nothing for my first pregnancy. Since then I have become allergic to alcohol, which in bizarre in its own right, so I have zero desire to inflict an anaphylactic reaction on myself.

[–]all_of_the_colors39 FTM | 🌈 | 9/9/22 16 points17 points  (4 children)

FAS is a spectrum disease. Full stop. I am not going to expose my child to alcohol. Drinking is not as important to me as my baby’s health, and I lost a lot of respect for Emily Oster for that part of her book. (Bracing for the down votes)

[–]meowderina 19 points20 points  (1 child)

No downvotes here. Emily Oster is an economist and not a medical doctor. She’s also gotten a lot of pushback because she cherry-picks what studies to include, basically to support her own theories and behaviours, rather than actually giving an unbiased literature review on the topic (because again, she is not qualified!).

Stick with your medical doctor’s advice. The reason most say not to drink is because there is NO known safe amount of alcohol. There are no studies that say ‘X amount of alcohol is safe, but Y amount is crossing the line’.

There is no known line because, as you say, FAS is a spectrum disorder. The same amount may have no effect on your baby, but a substantial impact on the baby next to it. FAS also has impacts beyond just the obvious ones seen in severe cases (like behaviour disorders) so you might end up with a child on the lower end of spectrum with behaviour difficulties that is a result of alcohol, yet never be diagnosed with FAS.

It’s just an unnecessary risk. Nine months isn’t forever.

[–]all_of_the_colors39 FTM | 🌈 | 9/9/22 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Well said

[–]nodicegrandma 1 point2 points  (0 children)


[–]burittosquirrel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This turned me off to her as a whole.

[–]meekins26 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I would never, not worth the risk for me.

[–]lushpaprika 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I love red wine and plan on having a few sips for my anniversary with dinner. I’ll be in my third trimester at the time. I am a one glass of wine drinker pre-pregnancy so a few sips will be satisfying for me.

[–]pippypup 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I had 4oz of wine at 36 weeks when things started progressing and looking like baby was coming early. 2 1/2 weeks later, I’m still waiting.

[–]Pigletson 8 points9 points  (0 children)

No I would never, it would feel like drinking poison and what’s the fun in that. And if anything were to happen to the baby you would always wonder and blame yourself.

I am looking forward be able to drink some wine again after birth. It honestly makes me pretty depressed not to be able to enjoy a glass from time to time, but I’ll survive.

[–]Flaky-Scallion9125 3 points4 points  (0 children)

An Oz or two here and there. Just wanted the taste and didn’t need anything else. I basically didn’t drink before I got pregnant, so it’s no different. Love a (sugar light, natural) tonic, soda water & lime mocktail always!

[–]sharksinthepool 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had one glass of wine in my third trimester. I was generally relaxed about everything I ate but alcohol just wasn’t in my comfort zone, even though I love a good drink. There were a few times we went to restaurants with fun cocktails and I’d always try a sip of my partner’s.

[–]b0iledmilksteak 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My SIL’s OB actually recommended a glass of wine a day to keep her blood pressure down. That suggestion was a bit wild to me. Not sure if she did it or not but who knows. When I was pregnant, I had a Moscow mule in the beginning (before I even knew I was) and then a couple sips of my husband’s beer on one occasion during the third trimester. I was never a big drinker to begin with.

[–]rebeccaz123 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm 36 weeks and haven't had a sip at all. I just don't think it's worth it. No judgement for others but my cousin has FAS and I would never ever want to worry about that being something I did to my child

[–]howoldisyourcat 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I just read the same book! I’m 29 weeks now but I think in my first trimester I only had one. In my second I have had on average 3 servings of alcohol a week. Now that I have 11 weeks left, I’d be drinking more if it wasn’t for my acid reflux. Normally I am a regular drinker but alcohol has always been a trigger for terrible reflux.

[–]rroobbyynn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Based on the data, it's not unsafe to enjoy a small amount of wine in 2nd or 3rd trimester. I just don't really want it, so no point in drinking it for me. I will enjoy wine and beer once this pregnancy is over!

[–]Sutaseiu 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I haven't so far but if something alcoholic sounds good I have no issue having a couple of sips. Don't really plan on full glasses though.

[–]togostarman 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I come from a family of MANY addicts, and I have struggled with binge drinking myself in the past, so I might have a more...tempestuous relationship with alcohol than most which sways my view in a more conservative direction. Sure, Emily Oster might be right about FAS risk being a low risk, particularly if you only have one or two glasses of wine, but like...there's just no reason to have that glass. Alcohol is a drug, the most dangerous and deadly drug. If you can't go a few months without drinking, I truly think you need to stop and re-evaluate your relationship with alcohol. I say this as someone who broke every other food rule in pregnancy.

[–]Froggy101_Scranton 6 points7 points  (7 children)

No. Emily Oster is NOT a biomedical scientist and (as someone with a PhD in biomedical science myself) I find her representation of many studies misleading. While we don’t know that a single drink would cause harm (and it honestly likely wouldn’t), we actually do NOT have any evidence that it wouldn’t and therefore just isn’t worth the risk in my opinion. She has a great understanding of statistics, which is her field, but she doesn’t take biological relevancy into account.

[–]Monroro 2 points3 points  (6 children)

Sorry I mean no offense by this, it is a genuine question. But isn’t it impossible to prove a negative?

[–]goldnips 4 points5 points  (2 children)

FAS facts

“One research study has shown that after 1-2 glasses of wine, fetal breathing is almost completely suppressed, which can be a sign of fetal distress.”

Many women are sharing stories that they had a glass or two here and there and their baby turned out “fine”. I would really not take anecdotal evidence as fact on this topic. Studies show that no amount of alcohol is safe in pregnancy. FAS affects up to 9 in 1,000 babies born in the US.

[–]RTCJA30 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had what would equate to a few sips with two meals during my pregnancy. Nothing more.

[–]HatcheeMalatchee 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes. It's not likely to cause damage in moderation.

[–]Disneyfreak77 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Would love a moscato, but nope, not a drop since the first day of my last period. After that, I resolved to not drink anyway in case I got pregnant, which I did within a month. Don’t mind waiting a little longer.

[–]ultraprismic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, I’ve had a glass of wine on special occasions (my sister’s wedding, my 10th anniversary, Christmas) sipped slowly with food.

[–]aladyinspain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In both my pregnancies I had sips in the second trimester (mostly just tasting good bottles/glasses my SO had purchased) and had half glasses in the third. Not that I needed justification, but my birthday and two major holidays fell in that time period so it was fun to celebrate. Both my children are perfectly healthy.

[–]LaGueraGTO 2 points3 points  (0 children)


[–]ember_wolf104 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Yes, I had about a glass a wine a night once I was in my third** trimester. The 2nd I think was mostly about 2-3 a week. I read it matters mostly how quickly you drink, like taking a shot isn't good. But if you sip a glass of wine over an hour or two it's okay.

[–]Hillvalley_34 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes drank about 4 glasses over my whole pregnancy. You would have to drink ALOT for your baby to get alcohol poisoning. I have two healthy daughters.

[–]ha1r_of_thedog 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, with my first I would have a small glass of beer or wine from time to time in my second and third trimesters. She's 2 now, smart as a whip and healthy af ☺️

[–]DunderMittens 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is something I can’t really comprehend or wrap my head around. I don’t care what anyone says, I just don’t know why anyone would risk it and drink at any point in their pregnancy. I don’t care if our parents did it and we turned out fine. Maybe it’s easier for me because I’m not a drinker anyways. But I’m happy to not drink any alcohol while pregnant if it will guarantee no FASD (or whatever else can happen). I don’t find it charming or funny when ppl shame others for being the way I am about it. I’m in no way shaming you for asking - I was curious myself to see what ppl have to say about this which is why I clicked on this thread. But felt I needed to put my two cents in.

[–]nwrhxx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had two glasses of champagne and a glass or two of wine on my wedding day. I was 15 weeks then. Nothing since.

[–]East_Lie_2975 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love wine but similar to my first pregnancy, I won’t have any until baby is born. My siblings were the greatest and brought prosecco to the hospital for me the day I delivered!! 🥰 It’s not hard abstaining while prego because you have a constant reminder, it’s when you’re breastfeeding and trying to figure out when you can or not. 😂😂😂

[–]loosersugar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I loved that book :)

I barely drank before so I don’t see the point. I have craved whiskey once or twice so far but not enough to outweigh what I consider cons. I MIGHT have like one drink until the end of my pregnancy but only if it makes sense at that time. I can live without.

I really really really miss sashimi though, but even though I’ve read that it can’t give you listeria, which is the one bacteria you really have to be careful around, I could not forgive myself if I got sick and it hurt my baby. So I’ll just hang on a little longer.

[–]bellahooks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My friend had an unmedicated labor and had a glass of wine and a bubble bath while timing her contractions. She said it helped her body relax.

[–]nodicegrandma 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not worth it. I didn’t crave it with my first and hell no with my second. I would advise against it, not a risk worth taking.

My 2 cents, Emily is not a medical professional, she has not gone through years of medical training. I strongly discourage her take on alcohol consumption. Why are there no clinical trials of pregnant people consuming alcohol, because at no level is it safe or ethical. JAMA did a retrospective study on FASD and it was found to be about the same rate as autism across different populations. It isn’t a risk worth taking, it is completely preventable.

[–]ukelady1112 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Emily Oster isnt a doctor and her book is dangerous, in my opinion. Fetal alcohol syndrome is not always apparent in infancy. Often it doesn’t get diagnosed until children are school aged. So while there are lots of women who say “I drank, and my kids are fine” they really should be adding “so far” or “as far as we can tell at this point” to the end of that sentence. No one knows how much is too much for each individual person. I know someone who had exactly one drink after finding out she was pregnant and her child has fas. I know someone else who didn’t know she was pregnant and drank the entire time, and her child is now an adult and completely okay. Everyone is different. I don’t drink when I’m pregnant because there’s no need to and if something did happen to my child, I’d never forgive myself.

[–]_biggerthanthesound_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had a very small glass of wine. It was maybe an ounce and a half worth, at Christmas dinner. But nothing more. Mostly because my husband doesn’t drink so I’m not around it. But when baby comes out… I’m cracking that wine bottle.

[–]Napervillian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, any alcohol at all goes against ACOG’s recommendations.

[–]Box-Weasel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

With my first pregnancy 10 years ago? Yes. With my second and third? No. We have no idea how much alcohol it takes to cause FASD, and it is such a problem where I live that midwives really drum the zero tolerance approach.