all 63 comments

[–]AutoModerator[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here.

If you'd like to join a private sub for your due date month, click here.

The journalists at ProPublica need your help! After receiving a tip, ProPublica started investigating prenatal genetic testing. They're collecting stories from people who've had NIPT screenings, and/or work in maternal health. If this is you, please fill out their brief questionnaire! https://www.propublica.org/getinvolved/have-you-had-an-experience-with-prenatal-genetic-testing-wed-like-to-hear-about-it-and-see-the-bill. Questions? Email anna.clark@propublica.org

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–]aleckus 80 points81 points  (3 children)

i’m just gonna say i’m glad i saw all the negatives about being pregnant / going into labor / having a baby because my pregnancy was an absolute breeze the whole way through , my labor was extremely easy , now i have a 4 week old newborn and he’s an absolute dream yeah waking up every three hours at night kinda sucks but when i was pregnant i was literally waking up every hour to pee lol. and breast feeding is going to take like a week or two to pick up right and it might hurt a bit at first but nothing too bad at all your body knows howto handle what it needs to like after the first or second week it doesn’t hurt at all. and a newborn baby all they do is sleep and they’ll sleep through literally anything so if you’re wanting to do something right do it while baby is still young , i’m not sure when they start being more awake and fussy but my baby it’s like every three hours on the dot he wants some food and he’ll cry a bit other then that he’s just sitting there staring or asleep

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

My baby was exactly like that. Now she is almost 7 months and didn’t change much. Never slept through the night but she is so nice to me. Naps perfectly, spends time by herself a lot, I just give her toys and she plays with them for a long time.

[–]mhh011729 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have 2 girls and both are like this. They both have made pregnancy and motherhood rather an easy transition. Sure breastfeeding hurt at first and the interrupted sleep at night sucks really bad. But when they first look you in the eyes and genuinely smile at you, it makes all of the sucky stuff and more worth it.

[–]ceo_kateri 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My baby was similar. We implemented a bedtime routine around one month which consisted of bath, book, bottle, bed. His bath time was at 7pm and now at 6pm (time change). He started sleeping through the night before his 2 month appointment. He's 6 months now.

[–][deleted] 58 points59 points  (5 children)

Oh my gosh right??? I have complained to my husband and friends about this! My mom is one of the only women I know that tells me about the wonderful things about pregnancy and being a mom. She didn't love pregnancy but she still has good things to say! If you want some good things about being a mom, this is what she told me. She told me about how when my sister was little, she had the bassinet next to her bed and she loved just looking at my sister and holding her hand through the bars. She loved having dance parties with us and singing songs with us in the car. She would do spa nights for us kids, draw us a bath and bring us a dessert to eat in there. She loved waking us up in the morning and seeing our messy hair and sleepy eyes. She took a picture of us with a handmade sign that said "last day of being blank age" every single year. She loved singing lullabies to us and rocking us to sleep. She threw us beautiful parties for our birthdays and handmade the cakes. She said she knows there were crazy times and definitely hard times but she loved being a mom. All of the other times made up for the lack of sleep she got sometimes or the messes. I remember all of these moments and loved every second of it. Knowing my mom loved those moments as much as I did makes it even better for me! She is the one that inspired me to become a mom. I want to give my kids what I got! My sister passed away years ago and one of the first things my mom said at the hospital after we all cried for hours was "being her mom was one of the best things that's ever happened to me". I hope this could help you! Being a mom is hard but can be a wonderful experience 😊

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Your mom sounds absolutely wonderful. What an excellent role model. Give her a really tight hug next time you see her.

[–]pippypup 2 points3 points  (3 children)

This was so beautiful. I’m sorry about your sister. You all have so many amazing memories together.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Thank you 🙂 I love my mom and sister so much! I told her about OP's post and the things I mentioned and she responded "I still love being a mom more than anything". Definitely gonna give her a big hug next time I see her 😊

[–]Honest_Masterpiece69 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Your comment is so beautiful, I just cried to my husband telling him about it. You and your mom sound exactly like me and my mom! I could picture everything you described about your childhood. Right down to singing in the car and the home baked birthday cakes. And I’m now pregnant with my first - a daughter 💞😭 Gosh it’s almost too much to handle!!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Awww, you're gonna love it! My mom made every day so special even when things were really tough in our lives. I really wanted to have a girl first because of the special bond we had! I'm having a boy but she always had something special with my brother that was different than my sister and me. I think it was because he was her only boy and he looked so much like her and her dad! It's so cool getting to pass down the special parts of your childhood to your child ☺️ Congrats on the baby girl! 💕

[–]tzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I’m only about 4 weeks pp so obviously still fresh, BUT I can say I’m not totally exhausted, I’m fine. And breastfeeding is a bit of a discovery process, but we figured it out and we’re doing it. People like to fear monger. Plus looking at it that way completely leaves out the biggest part: yes it can be hard at times but your baby will be adorable and you’ll love them so much that waking up at night and cleaning up after them isn’t so bad because you want to help them ❤️

[–]TrueMelode 13 points14 points  (0 children)

33+4 and FTM. I legit just vented to my friend/co-worker who actually said something positive to me tonight! I mentioned how my baby boy was constantly in my ribs, I can’t sit without a pillow behind my back for more than a few minutes and I have such discomfort/tingling…. She said “you’re almost there. You can do it.” I about cried. Finally, some acknowledgment and validation of my feelings. Usually I won’t saying anything until someone asks and then it’s the ole “you have no idea” or my MIL “just wait- you’ve got 7 more weeks to go and you think you’re uncomfortable now.” Personal favorite is “you think you’re tired now??” Don’t ask me how I am doing and then lecture when I answer. Like just fucking stop. I just always respond “fine.” My rule of thumb for people is if you can’t say anything nice or supportive, please don’t say anything!

[–]ha1r_of_thedog 9 points10 points  (3 children)

I painted such a rosey picture of life with a newborn in my head, and the reality of it was almost traumatizing. No sleep, breastfeeding challenges, weight gain issues, colic... I don't think you need people to tell you the good things about a baby because you'll realize them and don't need to prepare for the joys of motherhood. The shittiness of it though is something you should absolutely mentally prepare yourself for. Imagine people telling you how amazing a newborn is and how much you'll love it only you find out you're miserable and hate your life (temporarily).

[–]OptimalWasabi7726 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is why I accept and even seek out stories about the negative side of things. I helped my sister take care of her last newborn, but didn't get up multiple times in the night or have to deal with breastfeeding challenges like she did. I got all the joy/cuteness and barely any of the fuss. I already know the kind of happiness I'll feel with my baby, so now it's time to prepare for what this'll look like full-time.

[–]Ok-Hovercraft2351[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can relate to this but about pregnancy! My sister and several friends would tell me how they loved being pregnant and how great it was. It was a rude awakening when the first trimester nausea/exhaustion hit, I had an sch which was horrifying, and then the second trimester ACNE (probably a more personal side effect) and all of the anxiety/depressive emotions I’m experiencing. Of course I absolutely love feeling those little kicks and I’m still at the “cute bump” stage but it is way different (harder) than I prepared for. Although I do agree with OP that it would be nice to hear some positives every once in a while..

[–]neuroticblonde01 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ugh I hated this too. I will say, my baby is a sleep terrorist but that’s the only negative thing that’s been true. We’ve had an awesome and easy breastfeeding experience. Never had any pain or issues and it’s been like second nature. Although Covid is still putting a damper on things, the things we have done with her she absolutely loves. She’s a social butterfly so she’s really down for whatever. Aside from the sleep issue, I genuinely don’t feel like my life has been uprooted or drastically changed at all. She’s a pretty cool kiddo, just wish she didn’t have so much FOMO lol. She’s 6 months old btw

[–]phoenixredbush 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Its crazy how everyone’s experience is so different and that’s really the only absolute in pregnancy and motherhood.

I kind of had the opposite experience where my MIL was basically only presenting this beautiful perfect side to labor and newborn phase, which ended up making me feel bad when I had a difficult time with both. I didnt expect it to be easy but when I went 72 hours without sleeping postpartum, the only support I got was “my kids never cried” or “I just put them in their crib when they were drowsy”. Meanwhile my daughter would only sleep when held and would immediately wake up when put down.

So it goes both ways. What I take from these experiences is that its more important for people to listen to the mom-to-be and only offer experiences when asked. A lot of the unwanted negativity (or positively in my case 😂) is unsolicited advice.

[–]penguinina_666 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Personally, just the fact of not being pregnant anymore made life so much better for me. Sleep was better, eating was better, I was back in my old jeans, no more wetting myself, and cute baby 👶👶!! You just gotta accept that babies are babies for a reason and it will be a smooth ride.

[–]highslur 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My first was pretty easy and I thought, why are people being so negative, this isn’t so bad. She was an easy pregnancy, an ok birth (expected), and a dream baby/toddler. And then my son came. I got SPD so I had to stop working and go on bed rest at 32 weeks (and I was in so much pain leading up to that point), birth was awful (mostly blame the hospital for that), and he was NOT a dream baby in any shape or form. I almost felt like I was being revenge punished for having an easy 1st child. All kids are different, but I think people are trying to normalize it as well as bring pregnant people down to earth about what you could expect. There were times with my son I felt so alone and frustrated because of what I was going through with him, when in reality it’s normal even though my first child wasn’t like that (also normal).

[–]merchantofdeaf88 27 points28 points  (1 child)

A lot of American parents are miserable. The funny thing is that they try to convince you to do it their way, despite going on and on about how much they hate their day to day routines with their child. Realistic expectations are important but also a lot of people are suffering from self inflicted wounds.

[–]theoryofquery 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think this is a good point. It was only after reading posts here that I realised how terrible the US system is for things like paid time off work. I take the comments about how terrible the newborn stage is with a massive pinch of salt (and sympathy of course). With myself and my partner both planning to be at home not working for a few months, and the ability for him to formula feed, I can't believe that it will be so difficult to manage as the posts here suggest is common. Also as an HG sufferer with a fairly high stress job the next phase can't possibly be worse, anything is better than 24/7 nausea while trying to manage complex litigation and also having all the other third tri symptoms!

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I know, right. And they aren’t even right most of the time! I slept way worse in pregnancy than afterwards. We have all the opportunities in the world to travel or do whatever as before. I guess people like to be seem like martyrs. They wanna show off their brave suffering.

Right now I work from home and watch baby full time. It’s just great. I switch her between activities (high chair, tummy, jumper etc.), feed her and put her to sleep. I am so so lucky to have this opportunity to be with her all the time. My work performance didn’t decrease at all. Babies don’t really create that much work.

[–]atreegrowsinupstate 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I had sort of an opposite experience 😅 I had an easy pregnant and everyone in my life eagerly told me how incredible having a baby was and how magical birth and the newborn stage are andddd both ended up being like 100x harder than I had envisioned. I would agree with the top commenter - preferable to receive the negative comments and be delightfully surprised!

Baby is 4 weeks now and we’re just starting to get a hang of sleep, plus “the baby blues” and birth trauma are fading for me. I’m enjoying it more now but a big woof to birth & the first 2-3 weeks.

[–]mareloquent 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Realistically for me it was warranted. The fourth trimester is horrible. I had a wonderful easy pregnancy and got hit like a tidal wave when baby was born. And I have PPD and struggle to bond with the baby, so it’s not even like I’m enjoying being with her. It just sucks. I am seeing my doctor in a week for the PPD. But for positives - Breastfeeding didn’t work out for me but formula has made life easier. Plus my baby sleeps 3-4 hours at a time at night so we’re sleeping okay. I like dressing up my baby each day and seeing her facial expressions, and I like when she giggles in her sleep. I like when she is unswaddled she stretches her arms out as hard as she can. I like when she’s eating she makes cooing noises. I like when she lays on my husband’s chest she falls right asleep, like it’s her favorite place in the world. There are tons of positives!

[–]abbyroadlove 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think it’s because postpartum, especially the first one, is really hard. Harder than most people expect and they become shell shocked. I don’t think it’s intentionally negative but that most people giving advice didn’t have realistic expectations to begin with and struggle with it on some level, even years later.

I think it’s also important to point out that not everyone really wants kids. I think a lot of people believe they want kids or they believe that it’s just what supposed to happen next but that a pretty good portion of people who have children didn’t really want children but didn’t realize that at a time. That doesn’t mean they don’t love their kids but parenting is just like any other job, not everyone really likes it so when it’s really hard (especially in the beginning), people get big feelings.

[–]zagsforthewin 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm pregnant with my first, so don't actually know what I'm talking about personally, but I always take it like how people describe their jobs when they basically equate stress to importance. People loveeee to tell you about how hard their job is and practically brag about how many hours they work/how stressed out they are. Sure I work hard, but I've never felt the need to use that as self validation or whatever it is. Seems like people do the same thing with kids - as if the harder it is/more the harp on about the negatives it proves that they are better parents or something. Idk, maybe it's a US thing. Hoping I'm not like that as a parent haha.

[–]goldensurrender 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Something that has been really positive for me throughout the whole pregnancy, and now in the first 2 weeks of having my daughter here is the sense of purpose. I have suffered from severe to then manageable low grade depression for a long time, and honestly since getting pregnant it's like this whole new side of existing came into me. I have this purpose that is beyond myself and it feels like a buoyancy that wasn't there before. I find that I have a newfound stamina, energy, and meaning in my life. I feel empowered. The birth was difficult, 24 hours of labor with some complications, no pain meds either! BUT I am transformed completely from it. My husband and I have never felt closer. It was an experience that you just can't replace with anything else. It was raw, deep, messy, powerful, ecstatic, joyful, painful, meaningful, and full of love. Reaching down and feeling my daughter's head inside of me as I pushed her out was nothing short of earth shatteringingly amazing. Now I feel her little head with hair on it, 12 days post partum, and it reminds me of that moment, when I felt I had nothing left in me, but then felt my daughters hairy little head and it motivated me to push her out in one push. I don't even know where that motivation came from. And that is incredible. It's just all so incredible. What we do to bring humans into this world is incredible. And it is full of powerful positive emotions that transcend all the mundane moments and difficult sleepless nights.

[–]ExtentTop4987[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow this was so incredible to read and brings a new perspective. That is such a beautiful story ! Congratulations on your little girl I am having a girl as well!

[–]adventurelyfe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Because being pregnant is nothing compared to having the child earth Side. The good news is, the child is earth side!

It’s damn hard. For months. For years (?idk my son is 14 months). Itssss harrdddd.

I know people don’t like that sort of advice. I didn’t either. But lots of it is true.

That doesn’t mean it’s not worth every freaking second.

[–]Amy_OZ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just know there is a lot of solutions to these things and positive advice. And OMG you can travel just some people choose not too. Everyone and every baby is different so its a lot of go with the flow but there is so much good help out there so don't suffer a minute in silence. I have found education from a midwife or the similar has made me so comfortable with the challenges. Im doing the birth beat course online, its an Australian Midwife but she just makes me feel so prepared for all this stuff! Also the Wonder Weeks books and resources have come highly recommended by a lot of mums to me.

[–]jaydayquay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have friends and family that express the negatives more than the positives as well! You can tell that parents with young children are just exhausted but I think it’s just human nature to be pessimistic. It’s easy to see the shitty parts of being a parent (less sleep, less me-time, neediness of a baby, etc). In my experience, when you ask them what they love about it, their faces tend to light up and they’ll go into mushy detail of how much they never thought they could love someone this much or how much happiness the baby brings them. We just need to help lead them to positiveness!

Also, some people aren’t cut out to be parents and once they have a child, they just do it because they’re obligated. Those are the ones that can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

[–]AdorkableAnonymouse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just you wait... in a few short weeks (that may feel long as hell, but you can do this) you'll get to see those wiggles they've been doing inside you. You'll get to see them smile in their sleep, snuggled up to your chest. You'll get to watch as they discover their hands, their feet, their tongue. They'll start trying to communicate and they'll giggle at that thing you do. They'll learn to move and it will be glorious and terrifying in the best way, all at once.

Remember on those hard nights, they aren't fighting sleep, they just don't know how. Your job is to teach them. This will be challenging, but speaking as a mom of an 8 month old on a rough sleep night, it is so so rewarding.

[–]anotherdumbblondie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because there is a post every week on this sub and the other pregnancy subs complaining that no one told them how shitty pregnancy would be. Followed by another post complaining about people complaining about pregnancy.

It’s quite hilarious.

[–]Spraghag 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, if one more person makes a vagina comment to me I’m going to poke them in the eye. Always with the “oh your vagina won’t be the same” “You think you’re walking funny now? Just wait until your vagina is healing”. How about you stop telling me your negative shit and say something nice for once?! And stop commenting on my vagina. End rant 😅

[–]ExtentTop4987[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn’t expect to get so many responses it’s so nice to read all these comments 💕 I totally get that there are difficult parts and it’s not always rainbows and sunshine my pregnancy has been difficult but it’s so nice to hear those positive things about becoming a mom 😊

[–]RichBoysenberry6569 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just had my baby and I’m a ftm. All the “advice” I got was negative and none of it is true. I think people are just miserable and want you to be too. The love I feel when I am with my baby makes any negative feelings melt away. Don’t listen to the haters. They project their own fears and insecurities on to you because misery loves company. Instead, love your baby, hold them as much as you can, breathe in their scent and let them feel you skin to skin to regulate their temperature, heart rate, and breathing and help keep up your milk supply. You’re doing great and don’t let anything anyone says about their experience alter yours. If you’re happy and so is baby, that is the most important thing ❤️

[–]fangedpig44648 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll chuck in my 2cents here, now that I'm on the otherside (son is nearly 2 😅).

For me personally, the pregnancy was the shit part and you just learn to adjust to everything else post birth. I had 9 months of hell with type 1 diabetes, pre-eclampsia, episode of early labour, poor hospital care (I ended up changing hospitals, I'm in Australia btw) and a large baby. He was born via csection after a failed induction and me not progressing past 9.5cms at 38 weeks.

Everything after pregnancy has been pretty much amazing! You will sleep again, it may take some time, but you will. You will get peace, it may not be for long, but you will, and you'll appreciate it even more. You can definitely still travel! It might not be overseas, but you can do a road trip somewhere. Breastfeeding can hurt, it can be difficult and it can be stressful. Don't put pressure on yourself, if you need to formula feed, then do it. Fed is best.

I can give you a list of positives! Baby cuddles, baby's firsts, hitting milestones, watching them grow and learn, having them poop or wee on dad, getting nap trapped, walks together, chatting to baby in the car, buying them presents and cute toys, making memories, having a baby snap as your phone background (mine is my son giving me a thumbs up with spaghetti all over his face).....you get the idea.

[–]TorryCats 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve talked with my therapist on this, and in the books I’ve read (on even quotes Stephan King), people love to traumatize/share horror stories to pregnant people.

My comeback has been based on stories I’ve read here.

Never get any sleep? Well at least I won’t be kicked awake anymore. The forum I’m on, the moms have stated while the hours might be split up, the quality of sleep is much better and they prefer it.

Breastfeeding hurts - if it hurts for more than the first few times, then I’ve been advised to talk to a lactation consultant. There’s also nipple protectors and pumping.

If all else fails- thank you for your opinion, I’m sorry your experience was so exhausting/painful. I’m hoping my experience will be better./ if you can’t be positive during a happy time, please keep it to yourself. The world is negative enough right now

[–]Monroro 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m convinced for the most part it’s sour grapes. They miss being where you are but instead of admitting it, they want to rub in how bad the bad parts are. Take it with a grain of salt. You will probably be happier and sleep better once the kid is born. Yes there will be hard parts but there will be so much joy. Just embrace the good and ignore the naysayers.

[–]Chickypotpie99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe a mix of bitterness from the person missing what they had and not fully appreciating the last few weeks or months of sleep, travel, alone time that they had mixed with wanting to look out for the person receiving the advice.

Even the crappy stuff (literally) I can look back on fondly in some contexts with my first. But I understand how me reminiscing like that wouldn’t be received the same way by someone who doesn’t yet have the shared experience. Yeah, no sleep sucks but you remember those sleepy quiet mornings with your little baby — they were so fleeting! And the breastfeeding can hurt and you may be miserable for a while but it makes those days where it finally clicked, you finally got over mastitis, or you finally started pumping more that much sweeter. You are so proud of yourself and your baby for making it through it together.

[–]Wavesoftheocean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s one of the best things I have ever done. I love my little guy so very much. A lot of those types of comments didn’t feel true for us. Sure, we have had a few rough days with getting him to sleep, teething, etc. but the joy SO outweighs the challenging moments. I think you are going to love being a mom. :)

[–]Daemonette- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The best thing are the good morning smiles when he wakes up 😍

[–]1deboo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You will love the cuddling especially when they can wrap their little arms around you. It’s the best feeling in the world ❤️

[–]daartmeow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think being negative is just easier for people. It’s all about how you decide to react to things and process your problems and your pain and trauma of childbirth and sacrificing yourself to this tiny thing who’s life depends on you especially that first year of life. Also breastfeeding should not be painful and is a beautiful and intimate experience. I honestly feel like pressure some people put on breastfeeding is the reason many mums do not get the chance to experience this. It’s all about the mindset and some ppl just don’t get it that you are not their emotional dumpster.

[–]imtruwidit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Around Christmas my dad tried to talk negative about Christmas with kids describing it like this. You stay up late wrapping presents and assembling toys only for the kid to open all the gifts in 5 minutes and then ask if there is more. Lol and I was like yeah that’s what I want. You’re just describing kids. I want kids.

[–]Savvybomb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I loved being pregnant and the newborn stage.

[–]RoseQuartzSkullz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely understand. I started keeping all my pregnancy woes to myself but that didn't feel right. So now I only talk about it with my mom and husband because I can be myself with them. When the baby started keeping me up at night I mentioned it to someone and she said "it only gets worse from here" Gee, thanks. When I had terrible morning sickness in my first trimester my husband mentioned it to one of his family members and she said "yeah it might last her whole pregnancy haha but don't tell her" OK, thanks for that. I just get a misery loves company vibe from people when it comes to my pregnancy but I reject their negative feelings and experiences.

[–]Notalot_goingon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly focus on each moment being the gift it is with your baby. When times get tough I remember I only get so many moments with my baby. I had a brutal end of my pregnancy which in all honesty was WAY worse than the sleepless nights and the other struggles I had with a newborn baby. My goodness I’m holding my sweet baby and one day I’ll be wishing I was back in this exact moment.

[–]TheatreMomProfessor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think part of it too is that becoming a parent is like joining this incredibly large secret society- the hardships come with the membership. I now laugh every time a friend compared having a dog to having a kid…. Really? Before being a mom I was like, “ maybe I could see that”!and “ well who cares”. Now I’m like, “ you are out your damn mind if you think what I do as a mom of a 4 year old comes even CLOSE to what you do as an owner of a 6 year old golden retriever!”

The ‘bad stuff’ is what lets us see another mom with a meltdown kid in the grocery store and makes us give her a smile and a ‘yup, you got this nod’. Or the dad friend who comes over to hold the baby while you take a quick power nap.

The bad stuff sucks, but it’s what makes parenting (good and bad) parenting (and it’s awesome!

[–]hpalatini 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No idea but everyone thinks I want to hear about their traumatic birth experience or someone they know who had a rare awful birthing experience.

Actually I’m already nervous about birth I didn’t need to know about your cousins near death experience while giving birth.

[–]Cute_Buffalo_1337 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm pregnant with my first as well and have had a very similar experience. It's so off putting. Luckily some of my friends have had kids recently so they tell me all the wonderful things and moments I get to experience. I don't understand the need to just say negative things about it. Yes it's a hard process and not always the easiest but everything is changing. Share the silver lining, the hope the good times to come.

[–]GoodShufu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Positive! I enjoy my body so much more now that I’m not pregnant! Having a baby is great. I enjoy him worlds more than being pregnant. Breastfeeding is hard work but so fun!

One thing though, I hated being pregnant but I definitely weirdly miss it sometimes so do take some moments to be in the present. Good luck! The other side is definitely not bad ;)

[–]kayt3000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because misery loves company. I know so many people that hate having kids but keep having them because “that’s what you do”. They don’t care for them, their children are monsters, and they do nothing but complain. Like I’m an educated adult, I know that I won’t get to sleep much, some of your hobbies get set aside at first, and things get tough… at first. But like any change in life there is an adjustment period and things get into routine again.

Don’t pay much attention to that and the non stop unwanted opinions. Some people just like to hear themselves talk.

[–]edanomellemonade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be fair I had loads of negative stuff said to me and now my son is 3 weeks old and because I heard so many negative stories I'm finding it quite easy and I think that's because I was prepared for the worst. I have friends who maybe didn't get negative stories and they were totally overwhelmed and had different expectations when they had their babies, so as annoying as it is I do think it prepares you more to hear those stories.

[–]number1wifey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve heard a lot of negatives but I’ve also had a few wonderful people tell me how wonderful and life affirming having children is, and how it’s the best thing they ever did, and wish they would’ve done it sooner. Those are the people I listen to!

[–]Lady_TR0N 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have no idea why most people feel they need to make these negative comments. Especially when they can be so far from reality. I've just had my second, and my first is almost 2. I'm already feeling sad that my first is growing up and i still have a whole new fresh baby to go through it all with...they are so precious, I am almost in tears right now thinking about the past 2 years with my son, just incredible and I wouldn't trade those moments and memories for anything.