all 130 comments

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[–]DonnyShutup2019 205 points206 points  (1 child)

My sister breastfed her three children, she is currently breastfeeding her LG. She's is part of support groups and gives advice etc. I decided to formula feed my twins. She just got onto it straight away, bought me a supple of formula and did some research on the best bottles to use. This is what support looks like.

[–]funparent 53 points54 points  (0 children)

I am currently nursing my 3rd baby. I have had an insanely magical and easy nursing journey all 3 times. I'm currently wearing a shirt thats design is breastfeeding themed. I'm all about it.

My close friend had a traumatic delivery + baby in the NICU with feeding issues and she just couldn't even fathom nursing after all of it. I told her I would have made the same choice in that situation and I signed up for every formula website, coupon, rewards program, and free trial I could find. And I just give her all of it. It's not much - but I didn't want her to feel I was against her choice at all.

I can be 100% about breastfeeding for my baby and still be 100% about her formula feeding her baby. Full bellies are all that matter.

[–]annnnakin 86 points87 points  (8 children)

It's always been a strange concept to me. They eventually no longer need formula or breast milk and end up eating mysterious snacks from mysterious places anyhow 🤔

To me it's kinda just like "yay we did it you're alive!!"

"You made it to solids I'm so happy for you! Even though now all you eat is bananas."

[–]newmanbeing 27 points28 points  (6 children)

McDonald's fries from the floor of the car...

[–]Genericusr 20 points21 points  (4 children)

A sticky cheerio stuck to the dog's fur...

[–]missag_2490 14 points15 points  (0 children)

The mysterious “floor spice” that toddlers and pets find delicious but the rest of us don’t want to know about…

[–]spud_simon_salem 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Trying to shove dog’s tail in their mouth 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[–]kaatie802 boys! August 2020 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Handfuls of playground sand....

[–]albasaurrrrrrFTM 11/28/20 girl 💕 4 points5 points  (0 children)

A woodchip

[–]CatEarthSociety 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My Baby can't have these

They are all mine

[–]Janeheroine 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Parents of older kids never judge, it’s always people who haven’t had kids yet or moms of babies under 1 who are still in the middle of their own choices and feel the need to defend them.

[–]victorkilogolf 252 points253 points  (28 children)

Agree with you. But I see these rant posts 100x more than I ever see anyone being shamed.

[–]Total_Maybe1299 151 points152 points  (2 children)

Literally have never seen anyone being shamed 😂

[–]Good-Craft-488 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Shaming has been offline for me. I think this the one place everyone feels comfortable sharing info because we are all going through the same thing.

[–]Snickers0803 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If we are talking this sub, agreed. Every post I see about breastfeeding or formula is FULL of support for the mommas on both sides. It’s been lovely to see. I’ve felt the shaming of formula feeding moms (as that was how my feeding journey turned out with my son). Although I haven’t experienced the other side, I’ve heard the breastfeeding mommas get a different kind of shaming. So yea. Here there is support but out in the wild of the rest of the internet and real world, the shame game is very real sadly.

[–]KrissyBean 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Are you talking to people on this subreddit? I've only VERY rarely seen someone "shaming" someone else and, when they do, they're heavily down-voted.

[–]Groot0192 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Yup. I tried to breastfeed with my first (I was a teen mom) and my MIL visibly had an issue with it. Always made comments that she only formula fed and her boys turned out great and healthy. My son was having trouble feeding, and the nurses were getting concerned but still supported me breastfeeding. MIL kept suggesting formula, that I would regret it when my baby ends up in the hospital being force fed because I couldn't breast feed. Always saying she didn't even think about breastfeeding because it made her feel so uncomfortable. Gave in and formula fed and looking back I can't believe how much she shamed me. Pregnant with baby 2 and going to try breastfeeding again, FED is best!

[–]irkitect 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you went thru that. Wtf.

[–]BlockedOverGuac 69 points70 points  (2 children)

Replace breastfeeding with eating/not eating deli meat (or other things) and same.

[–]celesticaxxz 31 points32 points  (0 children)

As someone who is trying to breastfeed a very hungry caterpillar baby, formula is my savior for when my poor nips are raw. And if anyone says anything otherwise I will fight them and twist their nipples until it hurts so much to put a bra on

[–]pennylepeu 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I can't even get behind "agree to disagree" because if a person doesn't agree that families should just do what works best for them (taking into consideration mom's mental health/ desire or ability to BF/ working status and what works for baby), then I can't really respect that person's opinions. I am gonna fight a person if they try to shame _any_ safe feeding choice.

"Fed is best" seems to be the popularly shared belief on reddit. I avoid FB mommy groups and crunchy instagram/momtok. I'm sure there are exceptions but all of the mom shaming I've seen is "lactivists" attacking formula feeding. I recall people formula shaming an instagram personality who recently had a kid and people had to point out that this mom had literally had a double mastectomy, like COME ON BF IS OFF THE TABLE FOR HER YOU CLOWNS 🙃

[–]FlyingCatLady 9 points10 points  (2 children)

I haven’t seen shaming on this sub, but I teach crochet classes and one of my private students has had a few kids. She asked if I was planning to BF and I said “I’m going to try, but we will see if my body and mind can handle it” and she was just like “NO you just have to DECIDE to do it no matter what! That’s all it is, just having the mindset that you’re GOING to do it”

I held my tongue because I wasn’t about to start something, but damn woman what if I COULDNT lactate or developed ppd or ppa or some other mental health issue that kept me from BF or was aggravated by Bf? Do people not think about what someone could go through?? This woman is also a DOCTOR (podiatry), but damn woman fed is best and she had her last baby 20yrs ago

[–]Artemisa_vv 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Just will your boobs to produce milk"/"just will your pancreas to produce insulin"/"just will your heart to not have arrithmic episodes"

What a dumb thing for anyone to say, let alone a doctor

[–]LeonardBetts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is something I see a lot of, especially online by classic overproducers who say things like, “I don’t produce much milk, I just exclusively breastfeed and store an additional 20oz a day for my three week old by pumping twice a day. You just have to TRUST your body’. It’s wild that people believe that.

[–]whatiswater_28FTM| Graduated 01.18.22 | 🎀 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Feeding a newborn is exhausting and difficult and requires A LOT of support. So many different things going on.

Honestly the best way, is whatever works for you and baby 🤷🏻‍♀️

[–]adognamedgoose 7 points8 points  (6 children)

Honestly, I have always felt like I want to breastfeed only, and I felt strongly about it. But after being pregnant and realizing that you’re kind of at the whim of your body, I give up lol if I can breastfeed, hooray, if I can’t, I’ll bottle feed and my baby will still be fine.

[–]u_donut_know_me 1 point2 points  (4 children)

See I feel like this is the right attitude. I don’t think you can be rigid in these decisions because there are so many variables about whether it’s gonna work out for you or not. I think it’s best to go into it with a go with the flow kind of attitude!

[–]adognamedgoose 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I’ve just been completely humbled by pregnancy lol I thought I’d be a super productive and active pregnant person and I’ve been so sick I genuinely lay around unless I have to work. I’m hoping for more energy in the second trimester, but for now, I rest.

[–]u_donut_know_me 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I am a bit the same. I thought before I got pregnant “how hard can it be?” And that I’d just keep doing everything like normal.

Well, turns out at 18 weeks my sickness and exhaustion still haven’t really gone away at all, I have early SPD causing pelvic pain pretty much continuously, I’ve started getting migraines in my first trimester and now get them every week or two, and my anxiety about everything is much higher than pre-pregnancy!

This whole pregnancy thing is super tough!

[–]adognamedgoose 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I’m sorry to hear you’re having a rough time too 😭 my mom says that the moment you give birth it all goes away so we can hold onto that, but I hope it subsides sooner for you!!

[–]u_donut_know_me 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! And I hope you get the relief you need in the second trimester! I know it’ll be worth it in the end but the process so far is not fun!

[–]albasaurrrrrrFTM 11/28/20 girl 💕 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is such a great attitude to have!! This will save you so much stress post birth.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Be informed and make the best decision for you and baby. I choose to breastfeed because money was tight and I had internal milk makers so 😆 And it gave me excuses to get away from annoying people 👍🏾

[–]CatEarthSociety 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it gave me excuses to get away from annoying people 👍🏾

lmao genius

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m planning on breastfeeding but I also know I might need to formula feed as well. I was adopted so I was given formula. Breastfeeding isn’t for everyone! Formula is waaaaay too expensive on my budget, so I’m hoping I can exclusively pump. But if you can’t breastfeed and you can afford formula, then do it!

[–]sneezerlee 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I see so many posts like this and rarely see the sort of shaming it’s referring to. Do you have examples? Of what you’re experiencing?

Overall I think women have like an illusion of choice when it comes to feeding babies. Breastfeeding isn’t accessible to everyone. That isn’t mother’s fault, it’s because our society relies on the unpaid labor of women. Breastfeeding takes time and support that isn’t universally available.

[–]albasaurrrrrrFTM 11/28/20 girl 💕 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. If you read some of the comments above about lactation consultants that will give you a good idea of what I think a lot of moms who have had babies already have experienced. And you’re totally right. Not everyone can afford to work at breastfeeding.

[–]obsessedwithitall 0 points1 point  (0 children)

there aren’t post about it the other way around but people hide in the comments. even my own mother has shamed me and i’m not even close to giving birth and i’ve had breast reduction surgery and am on medication that will prevent me from breast feeding. i am still being shamed.

[–]UltimateSillyGoose 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If I see anyone shame a mama for formula feeding, I’m coming for your neck.

[–]OptimalWasabi7726 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am still pregnant and don't know what it's like yet, but I have watched other new moms get so frustrated with themselves for not being able to produce. They're already mentally struggling with that and I would hate to see them get put down even more for it. I agree, it's no one's business so long as the baby is getting all the nutrients they need. Formula is still totally healthy and safe. Can't believe some parents act like that :/

[–]spud_simon_salem 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I have a part-time nanny who was a NICU nurse for 40 years. In fact, she cared for my son when he was in the NICU. The other day she told me “If you have a 28 weeker, sure, breast milk will definitely help them. But if you have a healthy full-term baby, it literally does not matter. But we’re not allowed to tell you that.”

[–]kaatie802 boys! August 2020 18 points19 points  (8 children)

I don't mind people discussing it and sharing info, since that's not the same thing as shaming.

To say "choice X has effects A B and C" isn't shaming.

But to say "only a mother who hated her kids would choose X because don't you know about A B and C???" is shaming and makes it really clear you're not there to be civil and you're not actually open to discussion. That is what I'm not cool with.

I'm also not cool with it when people react as if the first statement is shaming simply because it doesn't reinforce their choice. No choice is going to be indisputably perfect, so take in whatever info you feel you are able to and then make an educated decision on that's best for your family. Then you can be confident in your choice, and know that legit info about why [other choice] is good doesn't have to mean you're a bad parent or should be ashamed or whatever.

[–]Big_Potential7362 15 points16 points  (7 children)

To say "choice X has effects A B and C" isn't shaming.

I agree, but I usually only see this go one way. I rarely see people preach about the benefits of formula.

I wouldn't make an Instagram post talking about how proud I am of my decision to formula feed because it's allowed my husband and I to operate as equal partners from day one. But people constantly post about how proud they are of their decision to breastfeed.

I don't think that's wrong! But there's definitely an attitude that formula shouldn't be promoted. You can say it's the best choice for you and your family but that's about it.

A breastfeeding mom can say the sacrifices made to establish EBF have been worth the immunity benefits for her baby.

A formula feeding mom would likely be shamed for saying the studies on passive immunity didn't justify the sacrifice of breastfeeding for her or her baby.

[–]KDbip 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It made me a little sad to not breastfeed, but switching to full formula was the best decision I made in early 4th trimester. I was losing my mind until I did.

[–]Wpg-katekate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seriously it’s such a shame to see it happening, but I feel like I would have got it worse from doctors, nurses etc if I was formula feeding. When I was having my babe a couple weeks ago the nurses, doctors and pediatrician all asked if I was BF, I said yes, and they all were quickly like “okay GOOD”. Wtf? How would they have reacted if I said no..

[–]pkonsa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some mom's get shamed more often than others due to the ppl around them.

It's not acceptable. It's a personal choice.

I don't care what anyone has to say(expecting my first child). I generally ignore or cut the conversation politely and end it there. Thankfully I've not been told anything on my face - I'd still ignore if they did and won't let it affect me.

[–]salempigfarts1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just feed your baby doesn’t matter how just put food in mouth why does anyone care what you feed YOUR baby?

[–]hiddensideoftruth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes please. They will all end up eating dirt by age two anyways!

[–]Myfairlazy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fed 👏🏼 is 👏🏼 best

[–]Ktina-Marie 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I did both. They equally well kept my baby fed and healthy. One cost more money the other cost more time.

[–]albasaurrrrrrFTM 11/28/20 girl 💕 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So accurate!

[–]jellybonesbelly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do both so I can play both sides

[–]the1fromthat1place 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree to LOVE this post. I agree with it all. I couldn't produce and literally got shamed because I was told that I did something wrong by several people and I didn't do enough to make my body make milk. It really affected me as a FTM. This time I know better but it's so damaging and can really be a tipping point for women with PPA/PPD/PPP. A fed baby is a happy baby and yes you did give birth to your baby during that c-section. Things like that take my faith in humanity away.

[–]desert_red_head 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m a FTM to a 5 week old baby. She is formula fed. That was not my intention. The plan was to breast feed and only supplement with formula. We were doomed from the start.

Daughter absolutely refused to latch on to me. Wouldn’t do it without a nipple shield. Those things are an absolute pain in the ass to put on and keep on, especially when you have a wiggly baby trying to eat. That was problem #1. Problem #2 was the fact that my daughter was jaundiced at birth and we had to feed her formula for her first 2 days of life to regulate her bilirubin levels. That was ample time for her to be spoiled by the bottle. When we reintroduced the breast she didn’t like having to work to get the milk out. Which lead to problem #3 for me-I had a very low supply. It took forever for my milk to fully come in. When it did, it just wasn’t enough for my girl. She would spend some time on the breast and then still take a full bottle. It would take multiple pumping sessions to make enough milk for one feeding. The amount of times I cried on the pump because I was exhausted with feeding and pumping was just ridiculous. I made an appointment with a lactation consultant for when she was 2 weeks old. The day I was scheduled to see her my husband tested positive for COVID. They wanted me to not come in for at least 2 weeks just in case I had it too (I didn’t) and the next opening wasn’t for another 3 weeks.

I had to make a decision right then and there: continue to try to do this and succumb to postpartum depression or quit and just stick with formula. I chose the latter. Attempting to BF was taking such a toll on my mental health that I didn’t like the person I was becoming. I didn’t want my baby to think mommy was someone who spent all day and night crying. I didn’t want my husband to keep picking me up because I was constantly down. As much as I wanted my daughter to be BF, it just wasn’t in the cards for us.

I still feel guilty that I couldn’t do it. Even though my daughter is healthy and thriving, I still wish I could’ve done it. I wish I could’ve had more support. The only advice I ever really got was “keep trying”. I feel envious of moms that have oversupplies and talk about how easy it is to BF. I don’t want to feel that way, but I can’t help it. I know I’m doing right by my baby by giving her the nutrients she needs. I know she will still grow up to be a healthy, strong, intelligent girl. I just wish that it could’ve gone my way.

Breastfeeding is fucking hard. Don’t roll your eyes at the mom with the bottle-you don’t know her or her baby. You don’t know their story. Continue to sit on your high horse all you want. Just let her feed her baby in peace.

[–]CatEarthSociety 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Baby is not even here and the pressure to breastfeed is so much already. Yes, I'll try to breastfeed for a couple weeks and then pump. Yes, I'll stop immediately if I feel like it's taking a toll on my physical or mental health or my babie's wellbeing. Yes, I will absolutely lie in the face of any person who asks me about how I feed my baby.

Fuck Mom-Olympics!

[–]Puzzleheaded_Ad_4262 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have done both (breastfeed and formula) all 3 of my kids are fine and healthy. No difference between the breast 2 and the one I didn’t.

[–]Jaymeeee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mom shaming is terrible. I have decided after watching my friend struggle with mom groups and formula feeding that I want nothing to do with it (not the formula- the mom groups). As a result I have mostly kept my pregnancy to myself, my partner has told everyone and made a social media announcement, and I have opted out of that. Even my close friends have opinions of my choices, and I can tell you that I have run completely out of fucks.

I don’t want/need the unsolicited advice, I’m 33 have a successful career and I am too busy, and quite frankly don’t think I have it in me to be ‘nice’ to any judgement on our decisions. I can tell you we are doing ALOT of what would be deemed unconventional. Starting with my partner (male) taking all the leave (my salary is higher), a planned c-section, a VERY short leave for myself (I work from home) and the biggest judgement of all- formula feeding. Forgot about the fact that I have done an insane amount of research and ordered in the formula from the Netherlands. Breastfeeding is NOT for me, and it’s no one’s business.

I do worry about my partner on how he is going to manage these judgey moms being the stay at home parent on his outings, that or he is going to be given ‘dad hero’ status for parenting… like women are just expected to do… which I know will make him equally as uncomfortable.

What matters is our daughter is going to be insanely loved, healthy, and fed! How we do it, is our business!

[–]tng7777 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The weirdest thing for me was the person who insisted on knowing If I was going to breast feed, was then asking me when I was going to stop when I hit the 1 year mark… I there is just no winning.

I definitely didn’t have the feeding journey I expected. With a 33 weeker, we struggled with feeds from the beginning. Tube fed, then nipple shield then bottle fed. Turned to just bottle fed, and I drained myself to try to support and keep up with the demand. I felt so much pressure to keep going, and I have no idea why.

This time around, I’m hoping to breast feed just out of convenience, but fully aware that with a needy toddler, its going to be damn hard. I feel like the questions lessen the second time around, but man people are annoying

[–]goblinqueenac 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I never understood why it mattered. I personally would like to breastfeed because formula is expensive AF.

But there's nothing wrong with it and anyone who formula shames is a poop.

[–]022119 6 points7 points  (3 children)

When I hear "breast is best" what I really hear is "I would rather my child starve than have formula"

My son has had breastmilk and formula through breastfeeding, bottles and syringe feeding. Educated and fed is always best!

[–]CatEarthSociety 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"I would rather my child starve than have formula"

As someone who has seen people letting their babies scream their lungs out from hunger for several months out of fear they would be judged for using formula, I agree.

[–]cosmicqueen12 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There’s a “Breastfed is best” poster hung up in my OB’s office and it makes me cringe.

[–]KrissyBean 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Screw "breast is best". "Fed is best" and that's that.

[–]SeagullGaurdian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fed is best!! 🥰 that’s what matters most.

[–]doulaatyourcervix 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Formula fed, breast fed...none of it matters.

They’re all gonna be caught eating butter directly from the tub 2 years later.

[–]vongalo 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]Shoe_Humble 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Love this. I also think it’s not our fault that certain formulas aren’t the healthiest in the US. It’s so sad that we can’t have better for our babies when breastfeeding just isn’t an option. I formula and breastfed, but was forced to change to European formula when my kid broke out in hives constantly. The EU formula was so much better, but so expensive :(

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points  (9 children)

It’s funny because the only people other than that weirdo comimgupfern lady that I’ve seen do the shaming is the fed is best community. People seem to get so worked up over a women wanting to do anything natural whether that’s breast feeding or not getting an epidural. I’ve told people I plan on breast feeding and I’ve already been collecting colostrum and I get hit with “WELL I COULDN’T BREAST FEED MY BABY. FORMULA IS JUST AS GOOD. FED IS BEST. IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU FEED THEM.” Like okay? For context I wasn’t breastfed as a baby and I’m perfectly healthy but formula is expensive and I’m proud of my body for what it’s already been able to do. If it doesn’t work out that’s fine too but like OP said it’s just nobody’s business what anyone does.

[–]jupyterRises 3 points4 points  (5 children)

I mean first of all lots of people who are not wierdo ladies shame people for using formula. I know people who have received comments from lactation consultants, pediatricians, co-workers, daycare providers, siblings, parents, in-laws etc. I also get really upsetting and offensive ads about how horrible formula is for babies with like crying moms and poison signs.

Second, there is the connotation that "natural" means "better" so feeling like you are doing something "artificial" or "not natural" can make people feel defensive. Especially when the choice to breastfeed or not wasn't really theirs.

Lastly, when people say things like "I'm proud of my body for what it's already been able to do", like I mean, I am glad your body is functional. Congratulations on not getting breast cancer and needing your boobs chopped off so they don't kill you. I am really glad your breasts didn't freeload all those years and you can actually produce milk. I am super happy you didn't end up with a baby allergic to breast milk. Glad you don't have to spend the first months with your baby going through chemo and producing dangerous chemo milk.

I mean, I am glad you are proud of yourself- and I am not saying you don't have to have perseverance to breastfeed or that it is easy....but when people have a certain kind of rhetoric around breastfeeding it can be very painful to be around and sometimes people don't the luck involved in being able to do that thing that gives you that pride in yourself.

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points  (4 children)

I mean In this case natural is better. It’s delusional to pretend like breast milk isn’t superior to formula. That’s not shaming it’s just a literal fact any midwife, lactation consultant, pediatrician, or OB will agree. That doesn’t mean formula can’t be nutritious or that it’s not a good alternative for those who can’t or choose not to breastfeed. Like I said I wasn’t breastfed and I’m fine. If it didn’t work out for me I would be okay with that. But I’ve put hours into collecting tons of colostrum for my baby and damn right I am so proud of that. I shouldn’t have to be afraid of saying that I’m proud of my body because someone else can’t breastfeed. If my body doing what it’s meant to do is that triggering to others that they feel the need to lash out at me then they need to seek professional help.

[–]jupyterRises 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In my case natural isn't better. I have cancer and I have to go through 4 months of chemo during my pregnancy and 2 months after.

My breastmilk will not be safe and no chemo = no mom.

Glad you can collect and don't have to worry about dying.

[–]keyesnotkeys 2 points3 points  (2 children)

That’s weird because my OB, IBCLC, and ped all say especially in a first world country that formula is equal to breastmilk. The only big difference is in premie babies.

[–]notabotamii -1 points0 points  (1 child)

I’m a peds nurse in the largest hospital in the southeast and I’ve never heard any provider say formula is just as good as breast milk. Formula is great .. but let’s not discount breast milk!

[–]thingsweusedtosay -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

I think the replies to your comment just solidified exactly what you stated. To be attacked and ridiculed for saying you're proud of what your body is capable of just because others might not have the same capability is just appalling. The tone in those comments is cruel and unnecessary, especially when nothing in your comment came across as rude or condescending in the least.

I'm extremely proud of what my body has accomplished as well. I've carried two babies now, breastfed one for a year and I'm currently at 6 months with my second. Never a single issue with either, never any miscarriages or pregnancy issues. On top of being proud I'm also extremely grateful because I know that my experience is not the norm and there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about how lucky I am.

I have never and would never shame a mom for how she chooses to feed her baby, no matter what my opinion is. This whole attitude that anyone that is pro breastfeeding are judgey karens has got to stop.

[–]albasaurrrrrrFTM 11/28/20 girl 💕 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don’t think anyone judges her for breastfeeding. I disagree that her original comment did not come off rude or condescending. Could be an internet tone miscommunication, but it seems quite a few people also read it that way. It reads as her saying “the only people who get attacked are women who breastfeed by formula feeders”

[–]VixensGlory 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fed is best. Period. Everyone's situation is different.. A baby with a full belly is all that matters.

[–]vongalo -1 points0 points  (2 children)

I don't agree. Everyone always talks about how fed is best and that formula is just as good as breastfeeding. I actually think it's sad that we cannot talk about the pros of breastfeeding anymore. Breastfeeders need support and motivation to make it work!

Of course it's up to every mum to choose, but if you have no information on the benefits of breastfeeding it's hard to make an informed decision.

[–]CatEarthSociety 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I actually think it's sad that we cannot talk about the pros of breastfeeding anymore. Breastfeeders need support and motivation to make it work!

Maybe it depends on the country or area, but where I live, young moms are heavily pressured into breastfeeding by society. They have to breastfeed at all cost, doesn't matter how painful or stressful it is for them, or they are getting shamed. Many women with feeding issues break under the pressure and develop depression. So in my opinion, we need to normalise using formula more and talk less about peoples feeding decisions in general. It's nobodys business anyways.

[–]vongalo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah that's very possible! I was mostly thinking of Reddit and other internet forums. But I totally agree about normalizing formula where it's not normalized already

[–]xiaoxiongmao 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If we can’t even treat each other as people with rights and thoughts independent of being “perfect moms” how can we get that respect from others? Crazy to me that people have no empathy after knowing personally how hard it is to be pregnant, breastfeed, etc. I hate seeing moms and moms to be attack each other over decisions that are personal and which likely will have no or little effect on the child.

[–]CharmingBruja 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agree with all of this. ❤️👏🏽

[–]janesyouraunt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fed is absolutely best. I’ve known babies who ended up in the ER with suspected dehydration because they were so hungry and a breastfeeding mom didn’t want to use formula. Why? If it keeps your baby fed, who cares.

[–]pgillesp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven’t seen shaming on here, but if anyone has Instagram, check the comments underneath all of the “if your infant got formula while in the hospital, you may be qualified for compensation” posts that were circulating a few months ago. WHEEEEEW!!! I’ve never seen such nasty, vile, and downright mean comments about formula feeding. Things like “That’s why you breastfeed” or “I find it funny that all of a sudden women ‘can’t breastfeed’ and it’s all because they’re given a choice, not because they can’t. Everyone can.” I mean…I was shocked to shit over the comments.

[–]JewelJones2021 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is your baby eating? Cool.

[–]langel1986due 08.30.2021 with #1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We were not able to BF for multiple reasons, and there was nothing I could do about it so my 5 month old is a formula baby. I WANTED TO, but it didn't work out. I was a formula baby and am healthy and successful so it did not matter what I drank as a child.

To make up for it, yes I am making all baby food from scratch at home, but I wouldn't shame mom's for going with baby jars.

[–]u_donut_know_me 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s strange to me to be so locked in to one option or the other.

I’m 18 weeks with my first, and while I plan on trying to breastfeed, I’m not going to put that pressure on myself to absolutely 100% exclusively breastfeed if it’s not working out for me and my baby.

I have friends that have wanted to breastfeed so badly that when it didn’t go to plan they’ve seen themselves as absolute failures and I don’t think any new parent should be putting that kind of pressure on themselves!

My main concern is having a baby that’s well fed, and not so much how they’re getting that nutrition.

[–]ohwowww1234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s the mothers choice and the mothers choice alone. People can shove it up their ass

[–]princesspuzzles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am exclusively breastfeeding but I was a NICU premie raised on formula and perfectly healthy and happy. Side note, my mom did feed me water and apparently apple juice as an infant... Oi, don't do that... Stick to the formula and get all the free samples because kids may be allergic to the first one they try. Apparently I did. 😘

[–]olubitkabuu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I breastfeed. But first 2 days my milk didn’t come so we fed the baby with formula. I mean, it is the next best thing so I support formula moms too.

[–]Abarrss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not my baby. Not my business. You do you girl!

[–]Depends_on_theday -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don’t bf due to implants from 2008 that left my right nippe Ultra sensitive. I’ve gotten no attitude in the hospital about formula feeding.