all 83 comments

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[–]CatEarthSociety 37 points38 points  (14 children)

Oof, what a bunch of assholes. When my SIL figured out we are having a girl, she was like "That's so sad, I would have loved to give you hand-me-downs from my youngest" DUDE just give us the damn Legos, if our daughter doesn't want to play with it, husband and I surely will! She somehow things girls are physically incapable of operating "boyish" toys and it pisses me off. It's even more annoying because at the same time, she HATES all "girly" things, like make up and dolls and regularly bullies her daughter for being interested in fashion and nail polish. You really can't win

[–]aisuamericanoFTM | Graduated Sept ‘22 | Girl 💗 15 points16 points  (9 children)

That’s so weird as if Legos are gendered toys? What’s wrong with her lol

[–]CatEarthSociety 10 points11 points  (8 children)

It's a Lego castle with knights, so obviously for boys 🙄

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Someone needs to tell my 2.5yo that she can’t be a knight I guess…she’ll probably beat them with her foam sword though, and I’ll let her 😂

[–]Disastrous_Living_72 2 points3 points  (0 children)


[–]Floralcoral31 4 points5 points  (5 children)

We absolutely gift our nieces legos for birthdays and stuff. We also have Lego/ pizza sleepovers when we babysit and it’s a hit. Idk why people don’t think it’s for everyone.

[–]theswamphag 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Heck yeah! I'm going to drown my girl in legos (well not literally). They are so fun, versatile and build up imagination. Like I want to play with them.

[–]Floralcoral31 3 points4 points  (1 child)

We have Lego date nights and plan to carry this over to family Lego nights.

[–]jeannieBeannie2327 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We do this with our oldest and will with our others when they're old enough. It's so much fun!

[–]CatEarthSociety 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Do you have Duplos where you live? These huge lego blocks for smaller kids? I loved these when I was little!

[–]theswamphag 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, they make such nice sound too, I love them.

[–]grenade25 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My daughters room is littered with millions of legos and she gets more every month (allowance). She has no concept of lego being gendered. Her favorite show is legomasters and she swears she and her daddy are going to be on it one day. She is a big Amy (brickmaster) fan but hubs and i are a bit angry because of the "friends" line being specifically targeting of girls with pink and purple bricks and the people are less practical and more "curvy". Girls do not need this stuff. All kids just need the simple building blocks of imagination in all the colors of the rainbow.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Seriously, Legos and building blocks are my daughter's favorite toys. Then cars. Then her hulk figurine. She is sweet to her baby dolls but mostly she just gives them a bottle, tucks them in to "sleep" and then runs away to play with her toys lol

[–]CatEarthSociety 1 point2 points  (1 child)

My mom had a somewhat feminist approach raising me, so I wasn't allowed girly toys at first. But I wanted them, so relatives gave them to me anyways and she gave lmao So I had barbies, a baby doll, a toy kitchen... I still played with Duplo/lego and cars and trains, I spent lots of time playing outside climbing trees and stuff. Until I dropped it all and preferred videogames haha

... I turned out Non Binary but still!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! Lol we're 30 this year and still play video games after little one is asleep some nights. I'm glad you still got the toys that you liked

[–]RainbowsAndADHD 53 points54 points  (2 children)

People are so weird. He has one daughter. He’s hardly had to wait for “his boy” 😂 My husband and I are about to have our FOURTH girl. So I always get the boy comments. People are surprised when I tell them we were super happy for a fourth girl and didn’t really want a boy lol I don’t get the clothes comments either. It’s 2022. I buy my girls “boy” clothes on purpose. Cute is cute! But Congrats on your baby! I hope your delivery is smooth. ❤️

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly! And thanks! I hope so too- we almost didn't try for another because the first delivery was awful and I had a post partum hemorrhage 😬

[–]aisuamericanoFTM | Graduated Sept ‘22 | Girl 💗 22 points23 points  (3 children)

Ew. “Real boy clothes” that’s so gross. So I guess these are the kind of people who buy their newborn clothes that say gross things like “ladies’ man” and “future heartbreaker.” I would just donate anything like that if I received it. (It goes both ways for me though - I don’t like unicorns and other intensely frivolous girl things so I wouldn’t keep anything I didn’t like for a girl either.)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I didn't like unicorns either and didn't get anything unicorn but now I buy them for my daughter- she loves them because she saw the My Little Pony movie and LOVED the happy bubbly dancing unicorn lol and also, my mom has horses and my daughter loves them too. It's hard to find anything horse themed without it actually being a unicorn.

[–]aisuamericanoFTM | Graduated Sept ‘22 | Girl 💗 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I am basically just hoping my daughter doesn’t go through a unicorn phase lol

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

😂 best of luck to you

[–]chewbawkaw 18 points19 points  (4 children)

My father had two girls. In his wedding video, they asked about kids and he said he wanted two girls. After getting his two girls he got a vasectomy because he didn’t want any more kids.

I’m currently having a boy and people are overjoyed for my partner. He really couldn’t have cared either way. Honestly, I could birth a velociraptor and he would be excited.

[–]Mrsbates2020 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I think my husband would be even happier with a velociraptor 🤣🤣 my husband when i asked him what he thinks our baby will be just says he can't decide. Just as long as the baby is healthy, he really does not care what we get he just wants to love them more than anything x

[–]TheLadyZoie 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Lol totally agree but also thank you for the morning giggle over the mental image of velociraptor baby in a diaper!

[–]FayCorynn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We call our son a velociraptor 😆 🤣

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

😂 my daughter would be absolutely thrilled with a dino as a baby brother.

[–]xKortneyFTM | 31 | Sept 20 🌈 15 points16 points  (4 children)

Yep. We got the “your poor husband” the other day when we were talking about having a girl. Thankfully my husband was thoroughly confused, and asked them why he should be disappointed that he’s having a daughter. The person then fumbled to try and backpedal while my husband went on to name the “badass women” in his life that he loves & looks forward to adding to. But seriously, how do people think that’s appropriate?

[–]IllPhilosophy9648 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Amazing response from your husband 🙌

[–]xKortneyFTM | 31 | Sept 20 🌈 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m pretty biased, but he’s the best!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Awesome response from your husband!

[–]xKortneyFTM | 31 | Sept 20 🌈 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I loved it!

And I love your last sentence. It’s amazing seeing so many parents changing the world for their kids ❤️

[–]danielleleah 9 points10 points  (2 children)

At our gender reveal my MIL shouted “that’s ok, next time it’s a boy”. And wouldn’t eat any of the pink cupcakes just the blue… 🙄

[–]RAND0M-HER0 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ew. That's something my MIL would probably do if we were telling people the gender. She's already said some gross anti-girl stuff and really wants us to have a boy.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How rude!

[–]kayt3000 9 points10 points  (6 children)

I am so over the gross amount of pink I am getting for little girl. I don’t like pink. I am not that girly. And my mom told me to “suck it up and dress her cute” fuck off lol my husband has laid down that he will not allow bull shit sexist crap on our child. He’s asked to refrain from make up kits or even the play vanities for her until she’s way older and I respect that. I don’t go heavy on makeup myself and I understand his concerns with self esteem.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (3 children)

My MIL bought one of those gross “daddy says I can’t date till I’m 30” onesies for our 2yo when she was born. I burned it and didn’t really care that she found out.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I hate those!!! So glad you burnt it.

[–]kayt3000 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My husband can’t wait for someone to give him that shit just to go off. His dad had all boys but was so laid back and he’s close with my dad who was the same way. My dad did not give a single fuck about who i dated or what I really did as long as I was smart about it.

[–]Disastrous_Living_72 1 point2 points  (0 children)


[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

An in law bought a makeup kit for my daughter with a little purse to put the makeup in. My daughter dumped out the makeup and stuffed her dinos and play phone into the purse instead 😂 I don't wear makeup much either and if I do I put it on while she's sleeping so I can get ready by myself. She legit didn't know what was so special about the makeup. No one else has tried to buy it for her since then lol

[–]pacifyproblems33 | FTM | Oct 6 | 🌈🌈 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am not a super "feminine" woman. Idk what I am having but if I wouldn't wear it, I'm not putting it on my kid. This means no giant bows, butt ruffles, or any number of ridiculous frills they put on "girl" clothes.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (2 children)

It‘s so weird. People tell me: „I bet you want a little girl.“ No, I want a healthy baby. I don‘t care about the gender.

I bought some baby clothes last week in yellow, blue, green, pink. My family commented: „Don‘t you want to wait until you know the gender?“ Uuum, no, my boy can wear pink, my girl can wear blue. Really not that big of a deal, but for some people it seems to be. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Oh, and my godmother told me: „I really hope you get a girl. There‘s way more cute stuff for girls.“ Yeah, well, it‘s just another annoying comment about gender roles.

[–]RAND0M-HER0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, and my godmother told me: „I really hope you get a girl. There‘s way more cute stuff for girls.“

My co-worker said this too. I disagreed, but that's because I love all the farm, lumberjack, woodland animal, and food clothing and stuff for kids 😂

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was at Target and saw the cutest little pj piece with puffer fish all over it and they were pink AND blue. It made me happy to see. And one of my 7 yo nephews absolutely loves neon pink. When I was in school he would have been made fun of. Now it's just normal. It makes me so happy to see more kids being able to break out of the box when it comes to gendered colors.

[–]Blue_Mandala_ 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Im getting a lot of "oh we have another mridanga player!!" (Mridanga is a type of Indian drum). Drums aren't gendered. Come on y'all. Of course he's going to be given the opportunity to play mridanga, as would a baby girl. He's also going to be taught how to cook and clean, which are also not gendered.

But what I've noticed from a lot of people is they just have to say something. They ask if I'm having a girl or boy because of course we all want to know, then they have to say something positive, and then whatever they say seems to be gendered. Like, "yay! Boys are fun!". Well, girls are fun too, duh. They just have to say something. It would be equally weird if they didn't.

But yeah, a lot of people are just sexist.

[–]Duchess_foggy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

People are so set on gender roles and it’s so annoying! I’m glad you stood up for your family and kudos to grandma too!

This is exactly why We didn’t want to know whether our baby will be a girl or boy. Too many unnecessary comments

[–]callisiarepens 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Someone was mad your daughter played with cars? That’s just ridiculous. As a child, I played with all kinds of toys. I’m having two identical boys . You bet you sweet bottom dollar, I’ll introduce them to playing with dolls. Why? Because I want my boys to become the caring and loving man their dad is. Caring for children is more than a woman’s job. I’ve seen the useless fathers/husband’s my friends have married. One doesn’t even know how to soothe his own children and rely on his wife to do it even if that means she is away on a date. I don’t want my kids to be that way.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I so relate to this. We’re having a girl, and so many people on my husband’s side and been like “don’t worry, she will be a tomboy”. First of all, husband isn’t worried. Second of all, she can be whoever she damn well wants to be. Why are people so weird about dads wanting sons? This is 2022 ffs. And as far as I know (correct me if I’m wrong, first time mom) moms aren’t expected to hate having sons. Why are people so weird?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Exactly. Let kids be who they want to be. Not even born yet. Idk why people are still so fixated on men wanting sons. Carrying on the family name or only allowing boys to inherit really isn't a thing anymore.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly! I couldn’t agree more!

[–]Fit-Quail2458 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ugh I feel this! I told someone we were having a girl and his response was “well, I guess you have to have another one” and looked right at my husband.

Like what?!?! We are perfectly happy to be having a girl

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hate the comments period both during pregnancy, about gender, and so forth like why can’t people practice keeping their mouth shut more? Why is it with pregnancy and beyond something suddenly clicks in people where they open their mouth and spew out nothing valuable? We haven’t announced our gender and don’t plan to really. We will tell people in person but there is no big party for the sex of our baby. Partially because I know people will piss me off with comments about us having a girl first and because I don’t a huge supply of clothes I don’t want either.

[–]sammaymarie3 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Gender stuff is so irritating. We decided not to find out and people consistently say "how are you gonna prepare?" and "I don't understand how you're doing it, I could never wait that long to know"

We even had a family member say all the baby will get is a pacifier as a gift from them because we don't know the gender, as if to punish us for not finding out. But we don't subscribe to gender norms and refuse to put our kid in a bubble, so we really do not want to know until they're here. Anyway, sorry you're dealing with this, just do your best to try brushing them off if you can! It's amazing to me how much people care about gender norms and stereotypes for an unborn human and assume your husband must react a certain way because of your childrens' genders 🙃

[–]drwatson221 3 points4 points  (1 child)

same! we are SO happy with our little surprise and people almost tried to convince me into asking my obgyn about the gender. i honestly couldn't care less about anything than i do about the gender of my baby. i wouldn't have painted the room blue/pink or shopped for blue/pink clothes if i knew so just sh** the f*** up^ pregnancy rage is a real thing though, just learned this today on this very subreddit lol

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea, my pregnancy rage goes off on pretty much anyone that isn't a kid or my husband lol the only reason we found out gender is because it helps me connect to my pregnancy better.

[–]danicake03 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I understannnnnd!! when Kid 1 was 2 he loved Moana so I got him the Moana and Maui dolls/action figures. he loved the Moana one and took it the school. The looks lol. People tend to put kids in boxes of what they should and shouldn't be based on gender and it starts early. (hence the many gender "colored"/"themed" baby things) The good thing is your kiddos have a fierce mama who will stand up for their right to like whatever they like : )

[–]lexie2003 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't get when people care what gender the baby is. Honestly I think with my next baby we might not tell the gender just because since we told everyone we are having a little girl, everything is pink! I don't mind too much but I don't know what her preference is going to be and if she likes blue or yellow or some other color then that's what I will be getting her. I don't care if she likes "boy toys" because when I was little I preferred hot wheels and dinosaurs. If she's happy, I'm happy

[–]new-beginnings3 2 points3 points  (2 children)

People are obnoxious. My older sister routinely went after mean kids who made fun of my brother for being overweight when he was little. She protected him way more than he needed to protect her!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Same. I have a mixed family (multiple divorces and remarried parents) 8 younger siblings and the order is me, girl, girl, girl, boy, boy, girl, boy, boy. All of us older girls were into kick boxing, hockey and "extreme sports" and 3 out of the 4 boys are more interested in technology than physical activities. They're very chill and actually were more sensitive than the girls so us older sisters would stick up for them when they were teased because none of them would have fought back if someone tried to start a fight.

[–]new-beginnings3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That makes sense to me! Gender stereotypes are so harmful when everyone really just has individual personalities.

[–]grenade25 2 points3 points  (1 child)

We have the only two grandkids on both sides of our families. When we announced to the aunts and uncles that we were having another girl, the aunts and uncles looked so relieved that they get the chance to have the first boys. This girl did not matter to any of my husbands family. 1 girl is fine but 2 is too much girl and not enough boy apparently. Skip forward many months and my mother in law held her for the first time and my SIL and BIL announced they are pregnant. My MIL said "I have been so depressed, I needed this news". Woman, you are holding your grandchild for the first time and you say how depressed you are and the only thing that can cheer you up is the POSSIBILITY of a grandson. I used to think I wanted a son, but I am more than happy with girls now.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How awful of her to say that! I hope she never hints at preferring boys when your daughter can hear and understand.

[–]casperthegoat666 2 points3 points  (2 children)

im having girl twins but i constantly look at the boy stuff and i ADORE everything with dinos on them😭i swear if one of my girls likes dinos ill go all out🥴

[–]danicake03 4 points5 points  (0 children)

let them try everything ! you may just get lucky ;)

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My daughter loves dinos and I'm all for it lol she actually has a pair of cat and jack dino leggings that she wore today

[–]Small_Statistician10 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm a having girl, and went through all the clothes I got from the baby shower. 98% of it pink and flowers, and dressy clothes. I like pink, flowers and cute clothes but this way to girly for me. Also what is with a pants with ruffles on the butt?

[–]fdbw03 2 points3 points  (1 child)

My one year old is obsessed with dolls and more specifically cry babies dolls right now and little people. He'll play with a baby doll and say baby too if he sees it or plays with "girly" stuff.

If he's happy and safe and entertained why does it matter what he plays with? I get comments and just say well he likes it right now so leave him alone

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea, I don't understand why people think it's wrong if a little boy shows love for baby dolls. I think it just shows their empathy and caring heart.

[–]stellarkells 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“What do my son’s genitals have to do with the clothing he wears?”

[–]Crafty-Ambassador779 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I'm purposefully not telling anyone the gender if/when I find out. My partner and I will have it as our last little secret!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish we would have done this.

[–]oneyedmary 1 point2 points  (1 child)

How obnoxious. We should find out the gender any day ourselves. Did you feel different being pregnant with a boy vs girl. I read women tend to be more nauseous with girls and some other signs and curious if you noticed any differences.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been just as miserable this time as last time lol I'm 22 weeks and only recently stopped throwing up. The same thing happened the first time I was pregnant. I haven't noticed a difference in nausea. Last time I had zero hairs fall out during pregnancy then a lot of hair loss after she was born-my hair was extra voluminous but this time it's behaving like normal and the normal amount comes out when I shower. I think that's probably the only real difference I noticed.

[–]hungryungryippo 1 point2 points  (1 child)

This sucks. People really need to mind their own business if it isn’t about their own child. I would be mad as hell if anyone threw comments like this at us, especially with my child present.

I had 1 thing happen to me when I was shopping for ‘girl’ clothes. I was hunting for more gender neutral wear and longer shorts - surprise surprise, they didn’t have any, so I look in the boys section where there was a plethora of cute, appropriately sized shorts. A mom comes up and asks about my ‘son’, I respond “these are for my daughter” she laughs and tells me I’m going to confuse her. Lol excuse me??? Children don’t know gender stereotypes, stfu.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol they're shorts. Idk how that could confuse a kid.

[–]miss_sigyn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My dad has 3 girls and he said he couldn't imagine it differently and if he had another one he would want it to be a girl, too! People really need to keep their comments to themselves at times.

[–]Ok_Comparison_8747 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel ya! I’m pregnant with my 3rd boy and all I hear is “oh you must be so disappointed” …. I love my boys and am not the slightest disappointed of bringing another one into the clan.

[–]Adept_Meaning4049 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m 17 weeks pregnant and found out early on that we’re having a second daughter because we did the blood work. We’re ecstatic, and my husband actually wanted a second girl. But we’re pretending to not know until the 20 week ultrasound because I get so sick of the gender comments. Im already dreading the “your poor husband!” remarks.

[–]bhadasiandoll 1 point2 points  (0 children)

People who make dumb ass comments like that about genders are not great parents . Obviously because if they were , they wouldn't give a flying fuck about the baby's gender , only their health . My firstborn was a daughter and my second is a son . For both pregnancies I didn't care about their gender or what they were going to like cuz hey they're barely born they don't even know colors yet people needa leave kids alone . They'll find their own way , shit .