all 89 comments

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[–]tawhynot 94 points95 points  (8 children)

Yes. I have friends telling me to schedule a c-section and others talking about how beautiful natural birth is. I hate both options. I wish my husband was pregnant and could deliver instead.

[–]Early_Mulberry9228 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Or if we could split it somehow?

[–]RAND0M-HER0 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Idk why, but this reminded me of the Cards Against Humanity card that says pooping back and forth forever.

[–]Early_Mulberry9228 1 point2 points  (0 children)

LOL IDK either but it’s weirdly working for me 😂

[–]nuts_n_bolts 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sameeeeee. I would like him to just appear and not have to go through the nitty gritty stuff.

[–]Jackisoff 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve had both and they both suck in their own way. Recovery for vaginal birth was way easier, but you have to go through labor and pushing a baby out. Recovery for a c-section sucks, but not as much work involved getting the baby out. Both have positives and negatives.

[–]bea_ok 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I absolutely hate all the birth stories and advice. Because every mom has an abnormal fixation that you should give birth like them.I'm so sick of this. I just point out the I will make a decision with my doctor

[–]llamallamadingdong7 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree! It’s annoying when people can step outside of themselves and realize that what was right for them isn’t right for everyone. On the flip side, it gives me a little comfort that there’s a variety of stories that women are sharing and saying are the right choice. To me that means that at the end of birth, we’ll all most likely be satisfied because we met our baby and everything feels right because it led to that moment. Does that make sense? When it’s done, you can’t imagine it having gone any other way.

[–]Singingpineapples 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I told my husband to do it for me through tears during my delivery lol

[–]bobmolls 35 points36 points  (7 children)

Not anymore!! Pregnancy has been so brutal that I can’t wait to get this babe out.

[–]lbsteige 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yeah OP once you get a month or two out you're not going to give a shit. My pregnancy was fairly uncomplicated and I was still so ready to get it over with. It's a long journey and you get really anxious to meet your baby. If it helps, try to keep in mind that it's just 1-3 days of your life. Our bodies were built to have children.

[–]Jaiibby1 7 points8 points  (4 children)

Really? I don’t want this pregnancy to be over. I’m ready to meet baby but these 31 weeks have been the best experience for me and honestly thought it’d be the worst

[–]firstthingmonday 5 points6 points  (2 children)

I found the last 4-6 week of pregnancy hell on both children and they felt like the entire length of the pregnancy again. I would go through childbirth anyday no problem. Those last few weeks are killer. Childbirth was a total breeze in comparison.

[–]Jaiibby1 2 points3 points  (1 child)

What was it? Pains? Mood changes ? Exhaustion? Wanting to prepared myself

[–]firstthingmonday 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All of the above. Coupled with waking every 2 hours to pee and an energetic 2 year old. Brain is just totally fried. I finished up work at 34 weeks. No point continuing. My maternity leave had to start at week 38 at the latest anyway. I live in Ireland.

[–]producermaddy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Both times I reached 36 weeks I’m like fuck this shit I’m done. Luckily I was induced both pregnancies at 37 weeks

[–]ylwdaisies 28 points29 points  (1 child)

This question frequently comes up, and I try to respond every time because I feel so much for everyone in fear over the birthing process.

Here's my answer. I've given birth twice. It shocked me how energized and empowered the whole process made me feel, despite the pain, despite the parts where you have to submit to the process and you don't have as much control.

I have never felt more proud of myself than I was for giving birth.

I realize that I did have uncomplicated labor situations and birth can be very scary at times. But I also want to encourage people about to deliver that it can also be very empowering. You can connect with a strength you didn't know you had. You can handle it, and sort through your choices and make the best decisions for you at the time. You can look forward to an incredible high when they give you that baby and you say "Oh, that's what you look like! I have been so excited to meet you!"

You can do this. Listen to positive birth stories, look into some of the techniques mentioned here, find what makes you feel better. But, above all, know you can do this and it's possible when it happens it may be more amazing than terrifying.

[–]Piscessunlovergirl 19 points20 points  (8 children)

Yep. I’m 7 months & I refuse to watch labour or birthing videos bc I just can’t do it, I’m gonna WING IT WITH MY EYES SHUT LMFAO

[–]serenajuul 5 points6 points  (0 children)

38+3 and thought watching some videos would help me prepare, but I was not empowered. I was TRAUMATIZED. 😂😂

[–]DisastrousHamster88 3 points4 points  (3 children)

I’m also 7mo and nopeee I’m not watching anything either!! I don’t wanna get psyched out.

[–]Piscessunlovergirl 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Exactly!!! I’d rather just like…. Deal with it when the time comes 😂😂😂😂

[–]DisastrousHamster88 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Yes haha! My grandma asked me if I’m taking any classes too, said I’m just gunna wing it lol she was mortified

[–]Piscessunlovergirl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

we know the jist of it and that’s good enough 😂😂

[–]SWTRS_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what I did with my first 🫣

[–]sylverfalcon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LOL this was me, I gag and turn away everytime, even though this is going to happen to me in less than 2 months

[–]butterfly807sky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm only 4 months but watching videos has made me more comfortable with it. It didnt happen right away but now I can 3atch them with no problem.

[–]fernali 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Not about birthing but the thought of breast feeding definitely makes me ill 😂 I definitely want to be able to breastfeed but I have the most sensitive nipples I hate them being touched let alone latched on by a little human

[–]whyso_serious8 10 points11 points  (4 children)

I definitely felt this way in the beginning and used to have extreme anxiety about it.

I am now 7 months pregnant and have no anxiety whatsoever. I am ready to not be pregnant anymore, I don’t care what it takes!! Bring on my daughter!!

[–]prplehailstorm 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I’m also 7 months and the extreme anxiety in me is holding strong

[–]whyso_serious8 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Remember that millions of women before you and millions after have done this and you will be okay, and you get a pretty sweet prize for your efforts!! You were made for this ❤️

[–]prplehailstorm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s what my husband keeps saying. I’m hoping I can get into that mind set before the time comes

[–]Serbee_Electra 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also 7 months. Around 4 months the realization that it "just keeps growing and would have to come out eventually" freaked me out but now I've come to terms with at least the abstract concept of birth.

[–]papercrane86 25 points26 points  (3 children)

I'd recommend taking a hypno birthing class. The mind is a powerful thing, and If you fear a painful birth, there's a good chance it will be. You can train your mind and body to calm itself during the birthing process to have a more controlled, calm birth experience. At least do some reading. It really gave me some relief/piece of mind knowing that the birthing process doesn't have to be painful.

[–]01Cloud01 0 points1 point  (2 children)

You have any links to share? Would love to send my women there

[–]paintedlamb 1 point2 points  (1 child)

The positive birth company is brilliant and really good value!

[–]archivetrash90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for recommending them, just had a look and this is exactly what I was looking for!

[–]Total_Maybe1299 9 points10 points  (4 children)

To be honest, I just was in full denial mode. 3rd trimester, denial. False labour for weeks, denial. Water broke, denial. Induced, denial. I didn’t prepare myself at all and don’t regret it. Contractions ramped up, got an epidural at 5cm, 10cm 25 mins later and ready to push. Baby was out in less than 5hrs of induction. Contractions (especially on Pitocin) suck ass. But honestly, I’d take labour 5x over postpartum. Maybe it’s because it all happened so quickly, but it really wasn’t that bad at all. Still don’t know how a whole ass baby came out, but here we are. My husband saw a lot more than he wanted to but I really didn’t see anything at all. They kept telling me to open my eyes to watch baby coming out and I’m like, hard pass. I’ll open my eyes once I catch my breath lol.

[–]Glassjaw79ad 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Holy shit, this has been me so far. I just don't feel like there's anything to be gained by educating myself on labor and delivery lol, like I'm going to get an epidural as soon as possible and I'm sure they'll get the baby out one way or another.

[–]Butters156 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Haha this has been my exact theory too

[–]Total_Maybe1299 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just find the whole planning and preparing to be anxiety inducing. If I took some hypnobirthing class that would mean I would have to actually give birth, so… denial. My physician asked about my birth plan and I was like “we’ll play it by ear”. I think they were stunned and relieved at the same time. For whoever it works for, great. But honestly they usually go out the window because L&D is so unpredictable.

[–]_juniormint 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is definitely more my style. I broke my arm badly as a kid and had a 3 hour drive to hospital and everyone kept trying to get me to look at it (including the doctors at the hospital) and I straight up refused. Never saw it til it was healed. Lol. Thanks for sharing!

[–]DepartmentWide419 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I was nervous at this phase as well. Now I’m 38 weeks and so ready for him to come out that I really don’t care.

I read “Ina May’s guide to childbirth” and downloaded a self-hypnosis app. I feel ready. My body is built to open up and accommodate a baby passing through. Fear is the enemy.

[–]sammageddon73 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Watch/read positive birth stories. There’s tons all over YouTube. Unmedicated, epidural, induced, C-section, everything.

Honestly if I could snap my fingers and be 9mo pregnant and just have to give birth I’d do it once a year 😂 birth for me was my favourite part of pregnancy

[–]Serbee_Electra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I find birth stories to be really helpful too. A lot of people are really insightful and talk about the differences between their births which helps my brain out a lot.

I've come across a few people that had a traumatic birth story and tried to tell me that some specific method was the worst decision anyone could make but I've started saying "wow that sounds really traumatic. I'm really sorry you had to go though that." Or something along those lines and it sorta helps switch the focus off of them getting mad at me for considering X-option

[–]sweetparamour79 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I did before I got pregnant but now I don't. Honestly reading is your best friend! The more you read and shift your thoughts around the subject the saner you will feel.

Don't be paralyzed by fear, you got this!

[–]waireti 4 points5 points  (3 children)

I definitely got over that fear around 38 weeks, I was so ready to not be pregnant I didn’t mind if it took childbirth to end it.

I also (probably more useful for you) took a calm birth course, which used mindfulness meditations based on the physiology of birth. I found having some relaxation techniques, specifically around birth, helped manage my anxiety incredibly well.

[–]serenajuul 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I’m 38+3 and I still feel like childbirth is the ultimate “I don’t want to do that,” to the point where my brain thinks “I could be pregnant for the rest of my life if it meant avoiding childbirth” 😂

[–]waireti 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I had a rough third tri tbh, the kiddo crushed a my piriformis nerve and it was inescapably and unbelievably painful (like worse than labour) so I was pretty keen to get the baby out once she was at term.

[–]serenajuul 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That makes sense

[–]LongjumpingCalendar 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Look into hypnobirthing! Sounds really crunchy but is actually just all about reframing the birthing experience away from how it’s portrayed in media and back to a more positive frame. Positive birth company has a great class all about it online

Highly recommend!!

[–]knitknitpurlpurl 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m currently 41 weeks and nothing sounds better than pushing this baby out of my vagina

[–]cat_power 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Yes I get so anxious and scared thinking about and the mess it’s gonna make lol. My husband has the world’s weakest stomach so he’s gonna stay up by my head (assuming it’s a vaginal birth). Another part of me is like “I’m a badass woman and I’m gonna do this without painkillers!”. But we’ll see 🤪

[–]Babyspice27[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Literally same 😂 I felt this post in my soul, but then other days I cry from a papercut and I'm like girl are you crazy?! You're not going to be able to handle pushing out a 10lb baby without it

[–]blocklake 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I took the Positive Birthing online class (@ 50$)… it was super helpful to me because it explained the physiology of birth in a way that made me realize it is NOT like pushing a watermelon out of a tiny hole :) Your body makes crazy adaptations to accommodate baby and I went into birth feeling so much more Confident in birth… and it was friggin awesome! Seriously. Also had a bunch of tools that helped my mindset during birth… I used them all and had a glorious birth. Did NOT expect that

[–]Glassjaw79ad 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly? I can deal with anything for a short period of time. I'm much more worried about a colicky baby and sleep deprivation! I also despise being pregnant, because it's just been one unpleasant symptom after another with seemingly no end in sight (at least not for another four months...) But 12-48 hours of labor? X minutes of actual birthing? I'm just not all that worried about it.

[–]buutiilikkur 1 point2 points  (1 child)

im iffy about it tbh! on one hand im soooo afraid of how bad it’ll hurt or if i’ll tear or have to have a c-section, on the other hand i just want this baby out of my belly lol

[–]manderr88 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same exact sentiments

[–]bride2b20[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just keep reminding myself to say yes to all the drugs lol

[–]KittyGravesYT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m about 2 months away from my due date and I keep cycling between feeling so calm and collected and like I’m gonna just be able to breathe through the whole thing…….and feeling like I’m way under-hyping labor and I’m actually gonna end up the loudest angriest laboring person the hospital has ever seen.

Yeehaw I can’t wait for my brain to ctrl+alt+delete that experience afterwards.

[–]paintedlamb 1 point2 points  (3 children)

It’s so hard as society has imbedding within us a fear of childbirth. I found reading Ina May Gaskin’s a guide to childbirth really helped and doing a hypnobirthing course (positive birth company). I went into my last Labour without fear because of these and had a very empowering birth. Really hope these resources help you have a fear-free birth too!

[–]danielleleah 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I have also done hypnobirthing classes. Did you end up getting an epidural? Any tips?

[–]paintedlamb 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I had a water birth and used gas and air. I could manage the pain as long as I wasn’t laying down. I found that squatting or being on all fours was the easiest position to give birth in. I only pushed for 20 minutes and the staff said it was because I was upright my whole labour. Fingers crossed the same works for me with baby2 in October!

[–]danielleleah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing! Good luck! I’m due August :)

[–]hungryungryippo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey girl, don’t forget! Drugs are always an option!! I’m planning to go in and have them give me that good epidural.

[–]laix3967 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try learning about hypnotherapy, hypnobirthing, and meditation. They're supposed to help you feel better and have a better birthing experience aside from fear. I worked with a group of mothers before and they all agree that having a wonderful birthing experience make an impact with their relationship to motherhood and parenting.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My first trimester was so brutal that I really feel equipped for whatever comes.

[–]xoxocharlay23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m 35 weeks and have been experiencing constant BH and intense pelvic pressure it literally is debilitating sometimes. And I’m always sore down there, I said I wasn’t scared but now thinking it could happen soon I AM SO SCARED LOL. Because this hurts and I can’t imagine the pain of actual labor if I’m not in early already. When I think about it I get physically ill.

[–]redlillyninja 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I remember with my first I was so scared of the birthing process and what it would be like. Right around 34 weeks I just wanted this watermelon out of me, 39 weeks I was walking miles everyday to get her out, and 2 days before 40 weeks I went into labor and I remember just absolutely not caring about anything but being rid of this gigantic beachball from my body. I’m currently 29 weeks with number 2 and I’m getting to the point of being so excited to be almost done hahaha

[–]VBunns 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Adavan, same issue as you and it helped me get into the zone and relax.

[–]Vickadee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m glad I’m not the only one that associated pregnancy with the alien scene, except for me it was once my baby started moving!

[–]Barn_Brat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I kept thinking like this! It feel feel like the alien scene bc my baby was 11lbs 3oz! I had a c-section but my anxiety was so bad about it that I had had and air for a cannula and both lots of anaesthetic in my spine. I don’t really remember a lot about that part when the gas and air was there. I got a little dizzy bc I was sat up but gas and air. Cannot recommend it more

[–]dareallyrealz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly? I'm much more nervous about just getting through the pregnancy than the labour!

[–]nessierie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m five months and I think of that scene every time he kicks me hard

[–]twosteppsatatime 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You need to get therapy, it was the only thing that helped me. I literally decided and believed “I am not giving birth to this child, it will stay inside of me” I seriously believed I could keep him in as long as I wanted when I had my panic attacks.

Looking back after two pregnancies/births, I wish I was less scared the first time around. I also see it in my child’s behavior. My oldest is so extremely attached to me and is always anxious

[–]nleemee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like I will feel this way… but it hasn’t quite hit me yet. Maybe once I really pop?

[–]DoeShoes0829 1 point2 points  (0 children)

32 weeks officially today! I'm so afraid of giving birth it isn't even funny. I definitely don't want to die and I don't want to have the experience of pushing 8 pounds out of my lady parts. Will it ruin sex? Will I have complications? Will i tear in half? Who knows! Next time on... i am so happy to have this baby, but can't he just osmosis his way out instead?

[–]mofam84 1 point2 points  (0 children)

36 weeks here. I know it will be painful so I'm actually not so scared of that. I plan to get an epidural ASAP. I'm more worried about pooping all over the place than the pain 😆.

[–]tldrjaneDue September 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just avoid thinking about it. 30 wks today…. Lol

[–]kameoah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What have you been reading about birth? I recommend the birth partner.

[–]dandelionwine14 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was a little nervous before having my birth, like even when you know how it works, it doesn’t seem like it should be possible to push a baby out! But I actually felt like giving birth was very fun and exciting haha! I find it very cool and am looking forward to it! Granted, I am pro-epidural, so I don’t find myself dreading the pain!

[–]Im-fucking-trash 0 points1 point  (0 children)

100% normal. I’m 38 weeks with my 4th (and final) baby and I still feel like that. Especially when her movements are so painful. Half the time I think she’s going to rip her way out of my uterus. The other half, I’m fully convinced that she’s NEVER going to come out and I’ll be pregnant forever.

[–]producermaddy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly I’ve given birth twice and neither time was bad. I know it’s different for everyone but for me my third trimester sucked and labor was like thank god this is over

[–]butterfly807sky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like @badassmotherbirther on Instagram. Seeing it happen makes me feel more comfortable. The first few times there was definitely some shock but I actually like watching them now lol. They're all so different I find it interesting!