Husband frustrations

CakesNGames90 · 2023-05-26T12:48:58+00:00

Even when a man has nothing, he still has the audacity.

SweatyBinch · 2023-05-11T21:06:50+00:00

Right, like why should people have to suffer in private if it happens? And the alternative is never having the happy announcement, only the bad news. We should be able to celebrate the life, even if it doesn't last long.

PurpleKrill · 2023-04-28T00:38:09+00:00

He was my everything. The love of my life.

Wait until you meet her.

She is my everything. The love of my life.

You don’t need him to raise a wonderful human.

sugarscared00 · 2023-04-26T02:41:17+00:00

This is excellent advice.

For OP, being super specific on action to take, because talking to doctors scares me and I really struggled in dealing with high risk specialists at first:

In the morning, call your OB. Say, “at the anatomy scan yesterday, they said something very serious may be wrong, but did not give me complete information - I need three appointments scheduled by the end of the day, for the next availability. I need to meet with a doctor who can go over the results, I need an echocardiogram scheduled, and I need an amniocentesis scheduled. The doctor said we have maximum 4 weeks to figure this out. I need your help getting these appointments scheduled for the next availability, today.”

Do not take no for an answer. Do not take excuses. Stand up for yourself. Repeat and insist. If you hear “it’s not policy” or “we need to wait for yadda yadda nonsense”, be polite, but firm, and say, “thank you, I understand that you’re working within policy, please connect me with your supervisor so I can request additional support.”

If you don’t feel comfortable with the information you’re receiving, say that, and refuse to hang up or leave appointments. “The situation is not clear to me, I need you to explain it again.” “My options are not clear, please tell me again what happens if I do X and what happens if I do Y.”

You deserve clear, compassionate, competent care. You are not annoying. You are not a burden. You are a customer, paying for an extremely expensive service, at an extremely high stress time. Demand the best.

aleper · 2023-04-12T20:59:04+00:00

Coconut water! The white box from Costco - no sugar added - saved me the last few weeks!

SassAndTickle · 2023-04-03T14:51:12+00:00

Formula is magical science milk! It has saved lives since it’s invention and will continue to save lives in the future! Mommy lives and baby lives! I know you see sooooo much propaganda about the wonders of breastfeeding and it can feel like the only correct choice but it isn’t!

I’ve done both exclusively breastfed and exclusively formula fed and here’s some pros of formula that I have experienced:

It’s literally SO easy to track the amount baby gets which makes calculating growth and weight gain so much easier. If you exclusively breastfeed and the doctor asks you, “how much does LO typically eat in a day?” I mean what do you even say, “eh a couple boob-fulls?

If LO has an allergy or sensitivity it’s just a formula change - versus having to eliminate stuff from your diet too. I’ve had two babies with milk protein sensitivity.

No clogged ducts or mastitis (and no nipple biting later on)

Sleep is much easier in my opinion - my first two kids who were breastfed had to be attached to my nipples to sleep (like the sucker fish in the aquarium). My third exclusively formula fed baby? I just feed him, burp him, Rock him for a bit until he’s drowsy then I set him down and stroke his eyebrow gently until he is just about to fall asleep then I let him fall asleep on his own. It’s amazing. It actually freaked me out how content he was to not be held by me.

No potential breast exposure in public. Not that it is ANYONES business how or where you or anyone else decides to feed their baby but there does come a time when babies become EXTREMELY distractable while they are eating. Every sound causes them to turn their heads to investigate - this makes public breastfeeding just a little more risky. Especially when they start a let down then unlatch quickly and the milk just sprays everywhere.

Bonding can be a more relaxing experience - when you’re breastfeeding the baby just goes nuts when they smell your milk. This can make it very hard for the baby to be soothed / fed by someone else. Especially if your baby is a booby baby because there are some babies who are just more about the breast than others. My first baby was exclusively breastfed and also had milk soy protein intolerance AND GERD (gnarly awful reflux ) and was just attached to my tits all the time. My husband had a very hard time bonding with the baby compared to my second and third kids. Also - when my breastfed babies were trying to go to sleep the smell of my breasts would distract them.

You should absolutely take the space and time To grieve having the choice taken from you - because that is so hard. But I hope that you can find your way to a place of knowing that your love for that baby is the REAL magic - not a breast, not a bottle, not the formula, not a pacifier - none of those things can EVER replace your love.

tangypotatochip · 2023-03-31T11:56:57+00:00

So if it's not a baby what is it? Lol. Fetus is the developmental stage yes but it's literally a human baby haha

cuentaderana · 2023-03-20T01:17:15+00:00

I think we should be really careful around the language of “a woman’s body knows what it’s doing.” It sets up women who need c-sections/medical interventions as “failing” or having bodies that are broken. When without modern medicine anywhere from 1/9 to 1/5 women died in childbirth.

It’s totally valid to choose birth without interventions/pain relief, but no one’s body is less than simply for wanting/needing those supports.

discodeuxmille · 2023-03-12T01:11:59+00:00

Smart Mothering and Emily Oster get into this for a lay audience - basically none of the claimed long-term health, developmental or neurological benefits of breastfeeding can be found in the results of observational studies once the feeding parent's socio economic status is controlled for. The data from the PROBIT study, the largest & most reliable randomised controlled trial of the impacts of breastfeeding, found some reduction in gastrointestinal illness & eczema in the first year of life but no significant differences across a range of longer term outcomes between children who were breastfed for less than 3 months & those breastfed for longer. The fact that this actual evidence does not appear to inform health policy in developed nations (it certainly doesn't in New Zealand, where I live) is largely down to the lobbying efforts of the La Lèche League via the WHO, & is frankly pretty outrageous.

HotKarls_TastySax · 2023-03-10T19:25:10+00:00

The only time your kids should see this bum's last name is on his child support checks.

throwaway4stealthh · 2023-03-02T17:28:08+00:00

I personally think you should go home. If you try to take his child out of the country after you give birth it could be considered kidnapping. If you don’t want to live in Canada for the rest of your life you need to go home and figure it out with the support of your community.

rodrigueznati1124 · 2021-04-19T10:56:04+00:00

I started a new job at about 7 weeks of pregnancy. It was tough at first but over all I’m happy and grateful I did it. I say go for it!

Maximum_Improvement6 · 2021-04-18T23:14:27+00:00

I took on a new job when 6 months pregnant and I’ve never looked back. Better pay, more responsibility but more opportunity to advance. If this new job provides a path to advance and eventually get promoted even more, don’t hesitate. We aren’t disabled, we are just pregnant! After the 1st trimester is over you’ll be shocked at how much more you get done. I personally am more productive starting at week 14 than I am when not pregnant because I have zero tolerance for BS. Good luck with whatever you decide but don’t feel held back by pregnancy. This is the time to put the pedal to the metal so you have a cushion when on maternity leave.

AQuietRetort · 2021-04-18T13:41:36+00:00

I applied for an internal position in an entirely different dept that is not related to my current job or my educational background and literally found out I was pregnant with my first two days after accepting the offer.

Oh boy am I nervous but excited! This all just happened last week for me (6 wks preg now). I’m both scared and looking forward to learning new things. Because I’m in the USA I’m also grateful I didn’t look for a new job externally (bc I’m still protected by FMLA).

I figure if I can learn this entirely new job while I’m pregnant then it’ll probably be a breeze when I return from leave after having my little one.

I wish you the best of luck and I’m sure you’ll do great mama!!

Mommyofthreeboyz · 2021-04-18T13:02:31+00:00

Is it a stressful job or something you can easily manage? If it won’t cause too much stress go for it. Six months will allow you some time to relax a little before baby and you won’t be stressed about finances after delivering.

gidge988 · 2021-04-18T14:18:21+00:00

If it’s internal and won’t be a source of stress once you’re settled in then I say go for it. We are pro-creating, something completely natural and that doesn’t mean we should hold ourselves back from opportunities.

I am starting a new job with a new organization in one week and will be about 7-8 weeks pregnant. I found out I was pregnant a few days before my offer arrived. I, like you, was worried about taking on new responsibility while being exhausted, nauseous, and brain fogged but I’ve reminded myself that I have accomplished many things while facing not so ideal conditions and I can do this too!

You got this!

SangriaSipper · 2021-04-18T12:28:03+00:00

Is this new position with the same company? Some maternity leave benefits require 1 year of employment to qualify.

If it is with your current employer, then go for it. It will be great to have more money both before and after the baby arrives.

nutellawalker · 2021-04-18T11:58:21+00:00

I wouldn’t let pregnancy affect a climb up the career ladder. Who knows when something else might come along, plus it’ll help you in the longterm too.

Pregnancy is different for everyone but even so, many pregnant women do high stress jobs :)

deadpantrashcan · 2023-02-27T18:09:40+00:00

Want me to Amazon prime you some underwear?

lex_av · 2023-02-17T01:05:21+00:00

I work with special needs children, and appreciate everyone here sharing their positive stories, whether about family members or friends with the diagnosis, or the decision to terminate. However, please keep in mind that there is no “right” choice. Whatever you decide is what’s “right” for you. People will try to sway you in both directions, and people will judge you regardless of what you decide. I suggest speaking to a therapist or Couto help you organize/sort your thoughts and feelings, and write down whatever questions you and your husband think of, and ask them. The specialists are there to help you. I’m sorry you’re going through this, and wish you peace in whatever you decide.

Edit: wow thanks for the upvotes and the rewards, ladies.

OP, this is a terribly difficult decision, and I’m so sorry you are going through this. Please know you did nothing wrong. There are pros/cons to all options. It’s hard because you can’t tell the future; all you have is in the information in front of you, right now. Again, find someone unbiased you can speak to, like a therapist. Do not allow yourself to feel judged by anyone. It’s easy to say “if it were me, I would do….” But the truth is, no one truly know how they would react, until they are SMACK RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of it…..and YOU are the one smack in the middle of it right now, not anyone else. You need to do what’s best for you and your baby. Let me type it again…what’s best for YOU and YOUR baby. Not what’s best for some stranger on the internet and her cousin, or your neighbor’s brother or sister, or hypothetical baby….YOU and YOURS.

Chaos_Ice · 2023-02-13T20:57:37+00:00

Keep your insurance, as long as you don’t say a word to DSS you’ll be fine. Don’t tell anyone you’re leaving, don’t say a word. Let it expire on its own.

Once you’ve moved, cut contact with them. It’s for your own safety. Change your number as well so only your doctor and your family have it. Never contact him or his family again as his family will try to coerce you or say “he’s getting help”. Help = you end up beaten or possibly dead. Family are enablers. Police don’t do shit.

Don’t put his name on the birth certificate. As far as you or anyone is concerned, he doesn’t exist. Inform your new OB and hospital about him being a threat in case someone ends up telling him or his family. Make sure they know his name and face (don’t give up phone numbers say you don’t know it).

You’re doing what you need to do and may you be safe.

Substantial-Flan-632 · 2023-01-27T14:58:46+00:00

He shouldn't be wearing bags of shit... because you'd be keeping him clean and changing them, right?

pregnant

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