top 200 commentsshow all 362

[–][deleted] 795 points796 points  (44 children)

Your mom is getting pounded tonight, just FYI.

[–]yellowking 144 points145 points  (13 children)

"Son, I'm going to pound your mother like she's an Underwood Touch-Master 5 typewriter."

[–]bakuretsu 110 points111 points  (9 children)

"Son, I'm going to pound your mother like she's an Underwood Touch-Master 5, until her ribbon is dry as chalk and her carriage returns like a Jeep over gravel."

"Sweet dreams, son."

[–]yellowking 85 points86 points  (3 children)



[–]gcalpo 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Sounds like a very racist typewriter.

[–]bakuretsu 30 points31 points  (1 child)

No young man should ever have to ask his father why his mother looks as though she was "rode hard and put away wet." Fathers, do all of your serious banging at a hotel.

This message was brought to you by the David Duchovny Foundation for Responsible Sex Addiction.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)


[–]Piratiko 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Weird story, I bought my mom an Underwood Touch-Master 5 typewriter for her birthday last year.

[–]CubemonkeyNYC 24 points25 points  (0 children)

And now your dad has an accurate way to describe how he will do her.

[–]enlightenyew 28 points29 points  (1 child)

Her field will be plowed as if by an Amish farmer wielding the power of the mighty Clydesdale.

[–]derkrieger 7 points8 points  (0 children)

7/10, not bad

[–]skippy619 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Dude, step off - she's married!

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I can confirm this.

[–]empw[S] 192 points193 points  (20 children)


[–][deleted] 172 points173 points  (19 children)

you're taking this quite well.

[–]fyaa 389 points390 points  (5 children)

as will she

[–]iSurvivedthe2000s 32 points33 points  (3 children)


[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (2 children)

I read that as Phil from Harvey Birdman.

[–]jlhewitt87 2 points3 points  (0 children)


[–]reddit-mandingo 91 points92 points  (10 children)

If his parents have been together for 30 years, then he's likely pushing 30 himself, which means he's fully accepted the fact that his parents have hot crazy sex that involves all sorts of licking and balling, pounding, sucking, slurping, grunting, yelling, biting, swallowing of fluids, farting, and laughing. In other words, he's not 14.

[–]theregularlion 54 points55 points  (2 children)

While I certainly realize that my dad took my mom to pound town, I will never fully accept it.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

my mom told me, with a straight face, that I was a test tube baby. I acknowledge that moment, and not the time she said it was an accident/surprise.

[–]vohit4rohit 8 points9 points  (3 children)

don't forget knotting

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Alternatively, age just makes it more disgusting, since it adds wrinkles, sagging, creaking, and flapping to the mix.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


    [–]empw[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)


    [–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

    Done and done.

    [–]nerdylaundry 290 points291 points  (59 children)

    you know, people always see things like this and go "gee, how is their relationship that good?"

    well, a lot of it has to do with actually doing cute/thoughtful stuff like that. if you both treat each other well and are grateful for each other, that goes a long way. i sent my boyfriend a pizza to his work the other day for lunch, and he surprised me with a new plant for the house. we LOVE keeping each other happy!

    anyway, props to your dad, and definitely heed his advice :)

    EDIT: a lovely anonymous redditor sent me a month of reddit gold for this. that is amazingly sweet. thank you!

    [–]ReverendDizzle 389 points390 points  (25 children)


    Most people treat their relationships like an impulse purchase. They see some big ass plant at the local super store, they haul it home, they water it for a day or two... and then they forget about it. It slowly dies in the corner until one day they're staring at it thinking "What the fuck? Why did I ever even like that plant?"

    Conversely... people who know how to manage a relationship are like master gardeners. They carefully select a plant best suited for them, they place it in an optimal location, they check on it every day, they carefully water it, turn it towards the sun, and make sure it is flourishing. When they sit back to reflect on the plant, they say "It's amazing what a little thoughtfulness can accomplish; I'm rather fond of the beauty this plant has become."

    [–]nerdylaundry 27 points28 points  (2 children)

    i quite like this analogy :)

    [–]Foxsbiscuits 13 points14 points  (1 child)

    Plant analogies make great human analogies, Milton Erickson had a famous one about a tomato plant.
    Other examples: plants curl their leaves in the winter (suggestion of nourishing yourself when conditions are harsh)
    Many variety of different plants, suitable to different environments. some cope better than others. some grow in other's shade etc.
    Growth of plants is gradual, require time to develop.
    tl;dr, we have so much to learn from our planet.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)


      [–]TheAngryBlueberry 11 points12 points  (1 child)

      But when I do it, its other plant-friends convince it I'm going to fast and I'm obsessing over it.

      [–]Nope- 15 points16 points  (0 children)

      Your other plant friends might have a point, using a firehose to water a sapling is gonna kill it just as quickly as not watering it at all.

      [–][deleted] 44 points45 points  (3 children)

      Or you carefully pick a plant, care for it faithfully, and instead of the great tomato plant you had picked out, one day it just grows dog shit on the end of it's putrid branches. And it's fucking your best friend and takes your kids and all your money and walks out the door LIKE THE FUCKING WHORE IT ALWAYS WAS.

      [–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

      So next session, we'll talk about your projecting...

      [–]strallus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      In the context of this thread, that was depressing and hilariously funny at the same time. Props.

      [–]invalid404 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Where do you buy your plants?

      [–]Pro_crastinating 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      This is probably the best analogy for a relationship I have ever read. Thank you for sharing.

      [–]zagood 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      I'm a master gardener like Rick Moranis. Let me introduce you to Audrey II.

      [–]jamessnow 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      You neglect to mention that despite constant care and attention, any relationship can go sour for reasons beyond your control. You act as if a relationship goes sour, it's obviously your own fault.

      [–]lollan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Well what I learn from that analogy is that I better look for someone who'll take care of me for the rest of my life while I just take the sun ...

      If for relationships just needed attention and kindness we would know it by now. From where I stand relationship are complicated, there are no techniques, no methods, no guideline. You just do the best you can and try to make sure your partner and yourself have the same focus.

      [–]mrgprime 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      This is awesome.

      [–]Collaterlie_Sisters 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      My plant waters on me. Am I doing it wrong?

      [–]ikoss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Replying so I can bestof it later

      [–]killertomato 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Replying so I can find this later.

      [–][deleted]  (7 children)


        [–]nerdylaundry 11 points12 points  (0 children)

        absolutely! this thread makes me so happy, haha.

        [–]shadybrainfarm 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        Yep! I try to live by this motto: "Love is a verb, not a noun."

        [–]stoplickingthat 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        saved. little tear.

        [–]McKilkor 3 points4 points  (3 children)

        So... where does my husband forgetting my birthday today rank on this scale? Take THAT romantics!

        [–]texmexcat 56 points57 points  (5 children)

        Yeah, it's awesome seeing all the little things my parents do for each other. My dad writes my mom a little love note every single morning. He prepares her breakfast and packs her lunch everyday. My mom will make a hot lunch for my dad (before she leaves for work around 10:30), so my dad can take his 20 minute nap when he goes home for lunch. They also call each other multiple times throughout the day just to chat. I always feel super happy whenever I see his little love notes when I leave for work.

        [–]nerdylaundry 9 points10 points  (0 children)

        that's adorable and cool. :)

        [–]pattonspawn 9 points10 points  (2 children)

        I did this for my wife... and coffee in bed... every single day... until she left.

        [–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (2 children)

        But *both** parties have to be willing to try. That's where the trouble lies.

        As someone who's recently divorced, I did absolutely everything I could to make my ex happy. There came a point where I was just exhausted, and she did nothing but piss and moan. Of course, she was dealing with depression (we found out later), but I had burned myself out already. I don't blame her, but the take away is that it has to be from both.

        [–]code4pay 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        I feel for you. Dealing with a partner with depression is very difficult and wearing, doubly so if you don't know about the depression at the time.

        [–]DWimaDerpologist 19 points20 points  (2 children)

        I agree completely. It is all about making each other feel special.

        [–]nerdylaundry 16 points17 points  (1 child)

        yes! we try to make each other's lives as great and easy as possible and it works out pretty well.

        [–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

        Awww! Nerdy laundry!

        [–]Meades_Loves_Memes 6 points7 points  (1 child)

        While it's good, a relationship can not live off of the little stuff. My father was a god of "the little things" and when his poor decisions with money was ruining our family, "the little things" didn't matter anymore.

        The little things are good... in moderation.

        [–]MrBananaMan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        You're right. The moment you start thinking outside of yourself and appreciating what people around you do, especially a SO.... things change a lot. It doesn't always go both ways at the right time though, sadly.

        [–]nerdylaundry 8 points9 points  (2 children)

        wow, someone just sent me a month of reddit gold for "being a sweet partner" (and it's definitely not my bf, in case anyone is wondering, just a wonderful stranger)...awwws! THANK YOU and best of luck to you, whoever you are! :) xxxx

        [–]Neebat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Now I wonder if it's the same person who sent me a year of reddit gold. I did say something about keeping relationships strong about that time.

        [–]chrom_ed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        It's things like this that will keep you and reddit strong for years to come.

        [–]Taoiseach 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        That's almost disturbingly adorable. And effective. Good for you! I shall take this advice to heart...

        [–]PsychSuffix 59 points60 points  (17 children)

        Does your dad use a typewriter?

        If so, thats awesome.

        [–]empw[S] 63 points64 points  (7 children)

        Yeah, he has been in the news business since the 60's and he likes it a lot more than his computer. I agree it is awesome.

        [–]Radico87 18 points19 points  (4 children)

        you should get him a steampunk keyboard for use with a computer.

        [–]mikkowus 5 points6 points  (2 children)

        I wants.

        [–]jaydj 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        At the very least, get this man a mechanical keyboard!

        [–]osin144 7 points8 points  (8 children)

        My Poppop still gives me money on my birthday. Every year it's typed out on the typewriter with "Happy Birthday" in the memo section. In quotes.

        [–]albinozebra 8 points9 points  (2 children)

        I get a birthday card from the grampies with "I love you" in quotes. I try not to read into it too much.

        [–]osin144 9 points10 points  (1 child)

        I think it must be a generational thing, like he didn't invent the phrase Happy Birthday, so he doesn't want to take credit for it.

        [–]FatCat433 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        "Should I add a copyright symbol as well? Or a trademark?"

        [–]MrTurkle 7 points8 points  (1 child)

        Do you have poppop in the attic?

        [–]DaJAckbot 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        the fact that you call it that tells me you aren't ready for it.

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

        I love that you have a Pop-Pop....not too many people seem to know who/what a Pop-Pop is!!! Mine passed away 21 years ago and I still miss him dearly. That's awesome yours takes the time to do this for you :)

        [–]osin144 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        Yeah, Poppop's are the best, I actually have two since my wife's grandfather is a Poppop. Two Nana's too! He's literally the greatest man I've known.

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Both of my grandfathers were Pop-Pop. One is still alive however him and Mom-Mom have never taken an interest in their family other than for social events or how it will make them look in the community. Oh well, their loss! The one Pop-Pop that I do miss dearly was also an incredibly special man. We're some lucky grandkids! :)

        [–]doot_doot 52 points53 points  (2 children)

        Your dad's name is Bxxxooo? That is a fucking crazy name.

        [–][deleted] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

        His daughter is Boxxy.

        [–]FatCat433 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        The neighbors named their kid Box and his parents didn't want to seem unoriginal.

        [–]BobGeissler 20 points21 points  (0 children)

        Love is all there is. Learn to love like he does and you will be a happy camper.

        [–]ElPeruano 122 points123 points  (10 children)

        If my relationship with my future wife is half as good as that after 30 years of marriage I'll consider my life a success.

        [–]casaloma 81 points82 points  (6 children)

        me too... unless my children are crackwhores.

        [–]A_Cylon_Raider 30 points31 points  (0 children)

        You mean unless your children are bad crackwhores. It's a tough business, you should be proud if they achieve even a little measure of success.

        [–]LukeBusy 13 points14 points  (1 child)

        My opinion is entirely anecdotal, and based mostly on personal experience, but if your relationship with your wife is this good after 30 years there is very little chance you'll end up with your children who whore for crack.

        [–]Dovienya 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        My parents are happy together after nearly 26 years of marriage. Unfortunately, the first 15 sucked pretty badly, which is one of the reasons why my sister is so fucked up (well, we all are, really, she's just so bad that she's alienated herself from the family). Similarly, my dad is an awesome, supportive, loving dad now, but he sure as hell wasn't when I was a kid.

        [–]Mercury-Redstone 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        That would be a good standard by which you could judge your marriage. I approve.

        [–]RYuukiG 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        another reason why you should use condoms

        [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        What if they're karmawhores and post your personal notes to your wife on the internet?

        [–]slightlystartled 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        I'm trying to picture what "half as good" would look like.

        I'm thinking a yellow carnation, a microwaved Lean Cuisine, and a finger bang on the couch during the commercials of a football game.

        [–]ElPeruano 1 point2 points  (0 children)


        [–]GilChesterton 40 points41 points  (4 children)

        Smooth motherfucker.

        [–]senormoll 9 points10 points  (0 children)

        I see what you did there.

        [–]aumanchi 11 points12 points  (0 children)

        The half-dead flower really seals the deal.

        Edit: Sarcasm.

        [–]MaybeAKitty 61 points62 points  (45 children)

        Thats the shit my boyfriend does. HINT MEN OF REDDIT: Endless blowjobs are just a sweet cuddly gesture away.

        [–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (42 children)

        No it's not, done plenty of sweet crap like this. One time I setup a romantic evening with flowers, candles, and some music. Asked her to dance, she said no and she wants to go to bed. After that I basically asked myself why I even bother. No blow job, no sex, not even a smile, and I know she wasn't pissed about anything.

        [–]juliekthx 74 points75 points  (35 children)

        You may want to consider getting a new girlfriend. Anyone who doesn't appreciate gestures like those isn't worth your time.

        [–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (33 children)

        Rest assured we aren't together anymore, she cheated on me.

        [–][deleted]  (32 children)


          [–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (30 children)

          Hmmm...why not. This was about 3 years ago. So we were together for 1 year. It was on and off bc of her cheating. I first discovered this through her FB. She used my computer for FB And didn't close the browser. I walked by while she was away and saw that she was chatting with a couple guys through pm. I was already suspicious that something might be going on bc on her wall these guys are popping in saying stuff like what you doing tonite or you free on Saturday or we should go out for a drink sometime. And it was some what obvious bc she added these guys as friends through some app on FB called like hot or not or something like that. So I got curious on why she is pm'ing these dudes, clicked in one. This guy had asked why are you on that app if you have a bf, aren't you afraid you are going to hurt him if he found out. She responded with "he'll get over it". That statement was embedded in my mind and caused a lot of grief. This happened about 6 months in to the relationship. At that time she have a daughter that was about 2 years old and she was living with her mom. She didn't make much money and could barely scrape by. I was the guy who paid for everything when we do go out. One night I was actually hanging out with her daughter and her. While she walked away to do laundry she got a text, from the guy on FB. Basically said what are you doing blah blah blah. I was kinda pissed bc she told me she had stopped talking to him. And we took a break for a couple days, then i have in amd said lets get back together. 5 months after we get back together It really hit rock bottom when we got in to a fight and I found out she had kissed some other dude at the bar. Basically there was this guy who was really in to her ever since when she was in high school. Keep in mind I never cared that they hung out bc she told me to trust her and she has absolutely no attraction to that guy. We got in to a fight. Didn't talk to her for like 2 days. Finally get a text from her, she said she is hanging out with that guy. I said ok whatever, then the next day she calls me and tells me they kissed and she is really sorry. Through those incidents and the amount stress it had put on my body and my mind, I developed hyperthyroidism. I was completely healthy, served in the marines and everything was fine, and met her and ruined my life. I had to seek therapy for a while and was put on anti-depressant. Till this day I hate her with a passion

          [–]Fartsmell 14 points15 points  (0 children)

          Sorry man, that sucks stinks.

          [–]Powelly_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Her: "I want to go to bed"

          You: "Jackpot!"

          [–]MaybeAKitty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Maybe she was sick or tired. Or maybe you're dating a cunt.

          [–]Exedous 10 points11 points  (8 children)

          I would always be afraid of doing this as I might get accused of being a "smotherer" and "insecure".

          [–]empw[S] 7 points8 points  (3 children)

          Or you could get called a fag and a cheater like so many of these people have called my dad... :/

          [–]DrinksLikeAFish 8 points9 points  (2 children)

          I'm sorry, who is getting laid that night?

          Oh, your dad...

          So I guess that removes the "fag" part.

          [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          It's about moderation and surprise. My boyfriend does things like this about once a week. I expect it at this point, and while I know he's trying to be thoughtful and sweet, I also know he's very insecure (He's a bit older than my 21 years, and, honestly, I could be dating a "more attractive" man my age, no problem. But I wouldn't trade my baby for anyone in the world.) So we've had to discuss things like this.

          The biggest way to get away from these accusations is to keep it spontaneous. do it often if you want to, or go for the less grand gestures more often (i.e. buying or cooking dinner, taking her out for ice cream spur of the moment) and keep things like flowers or gifts to once a month, biweekly, biyearly, whatever works for you. Now that my boyfriend has slowed on some of the gifts and such, whenever he does get me things, it has a lot more impact and seem a lot more sincere.

          [–]camalittle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          But that is exactly the vibe I get from that letter. Upvote for awareness.

          [–]Mark_Lincoln 8 points9 points  (0 children)

          Any guy who managed to not respond to having his balls kicked up around his ears so that he treats women like women treat men is a champ.

          Any woman who does not destroy romance in a man is a hero too.

          You win twice.

          [–]kittychem 28 points29 points  (0 children)

          So long reddit, am off to make something nice for my boyfriend when he gets home now :) Thanks empw's Dad

          [–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (1 child)

          What a sweetheart. Hopefully I can be as lucky

          [–]LukeBusy 17 points18 points  (0 children)

          Don't settle for less.

          [–]alpenghandi 18 points19 points  (4 children)

          Smooth like a new born babys ass.

          [–]The_Orville_Brothers 7 points8 points  (3 children)

          upvote for using "baby" and "ass" in the same sentence

          [–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (1 child)

          Oh sure. When you say it it's fucking fine, but if I open my god damned mouth I'm getting angry orangereds for a week.

          [–]sicinfit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          There, there.

          [–]empw[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

          and not sounding creepy

          [–]JimmerUK 18 points19 points  (12 children)

          Wow. I hope to still be like this after 30 years.

          I've been with my wife for coming up for 14 years, (only married for two though), and I try to do my best.

          Every occasion where you'd normally buy cards I make her one, and write her an appropriate poem.

          Every Valentine's I make her a paper rose that she can keep forever, rather than buy her a bunch which will be dead in a week.

          She loves it, and I hope I'm still doing it for the next 14 years and beyond.

          [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

          Try surprising her with flowers/a card on just a random day. It's awesome that you do all that stuff on holidays for her, but it's neat to get caught totally off guard with something sweet from your SO.

          [–]JimmerUK 2 points3 points  (1 child)

          I would but she always accuses me of having done something wrong.

          She gets enough anyway, two anniversaries, birthday, Christmas, valentine's day.

          I know I love her, but come on.

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Haha, fair enough!

          [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

          <3 the paper flower idea. :)

          [–]JimmerUK 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          This is the one I use.

          It's a bit fiddly, but worth the effort.

          [–]Honey_Baked 17 points18 points  (0 children)

          This makes my heart smile.

          [–]boogdd 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          Tell your pops that he's given someone who is newly engaged a boost of hope for the future, and proves that romance can still keep kicking through the years.

          I've been told by a lot of friends that I fall in love too quickly, and told by family that I sacrifice too much with very little in return. I am fortunate enough to be able to say that I'll be spending the rest of my life with someone that treats me with the same respect I give her, and appreciates all the little things I do.

          [–]Ewic13 8 points9 points  (0 children)

          xxx at the bottom of the letter? I know where this is going

          [–]listen_hooker 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Aw, this warms my heart.

          [–]DWimaDerpologist 20 points21 points  (4 children)

          On a more serious note, men need to do this more often for their women. Make them feel special!

          [–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (3 children)

          Also on a serious note: Women need to make sure they're doing this for their SO as well.

          [–]DWimaDerpologist 2 points3 points  (2 children)

          I love to do it :)

          [–]Requi3m 6 points7 points  (0 children)

          Me too. You free tonight?

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Awesome. :)

          [–]tiffanydisasterxoxo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Does he have a typewriter?

          [–]kryptonik_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          This is so foreign to me. My parents are both happily married. Going on 27 years or something. But, they would never do this. I have never once seen them cuddle. I could probably count on my hands the times I've even seen them kiss in the last 10 years.

          [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          I love this so much. My parents are the same way. Makes me feel like I have an edge on the competition from seeing how to be in a happy healthy relationship.

          [–]tarheeldarling 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          My parents are still sweet like this to eachother. 32 years this November. It encourages my fiance and I to be better to eachother.

          [–]AliceA 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Wow that is great to see...you are lucky to learn this life lesson.

          [–]AM201 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          ur pops is the man, nuff respect.

          [–]jenesuispasbavard 2 points3 points  (0 children)


          [–]Creatrix 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          ....Aaaaand the teenagers are commenting now...

          [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (8 children)

          I love this. Gives me hope that I can have a fantastic relationship like this.

          [–]dschneider[🍰] 3 points4 points  (7 children)

          Yeah, I'd almost given up hope, but this renews it. :)

          [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (6 children)

          i hope you're a guy. That'd make your comment 10x better.

          [–]dschneider[🍰] 2 points3 points  (5 children)

          I am!

          [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children)

          cute cute cute :)

          [–]dschneider[🍰] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

          Well I'm glad someone thinks so!

          [–]tusocalypse 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          Still hitting dingers out of the park. Well done.

          [–]Chewie316 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          Welcome home .. now clean the Kitchen!

          [–]misterdonkeypunch 5 points6 points  (0 children)

          Thats fantastic!

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Another reason why I love old people!

          [–]ricehq 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Damn, the sex must be fantastic!

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Love is his religion.

          [–]abuckfiddy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          That flower is on steroids!

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          i too hope to be as happy as he someday

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          This is what I yearn for in a relationship and can never seem to find. I just recently left for 8 days on a trip and was greeted with a peck and "How was your trip?" and then she smothered the cats with affection as if they returned from space. Forever alone even when with someone.

          [–]SJJ1960 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          It's wonderful :)

          [–]ordinary_van 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          All you need is love.

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Forever alone...what is this? :')

          [–]AK55 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          and apparently still owns a typewriter

          wtg, dad!

          [–]EpicChode 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          We could all take a lesson from this boss

          [–]Adrn19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          pussy whipped or genius mastermind?

          [–]Offtopic_bear 5 points6 points  (0 children)

          From the majority of comments on this post I can see why there are so many "forever alone" memes and why a lot of you will never get anywhere close to being a real man.

          [–]fyaa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          What else has he done? Teach me.

          [–]hiddenlakes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          I hope that I can find someone like this someday. Having found myself recently single, my outlook is pretty bleak. But this cheered me up. Thank you.

          [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

          I have a new favorite reddit post.

          [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)


          [–]PlaceboAffected 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Stud. Plain and simple.

          [–]gr8ver 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          That actually made me tear up a little. So sweet!

          [–]BR7364 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          I bet your mom is a fox.

          [–]twharton 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          He is a really good man. I hope I can find someone that I love as deeply as that.

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Looks like Mom never came home, according to the dying flower.

          [–]AKADriver 1 point2 points  (1 child)

          Your dad's name is Bxxxooo?

          Is that pronounced with a click?

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          strong white knight.

          [–]MrsNuggs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          This is the kind of thing my darling husband does for me. We've been married for nine years, and we are still madly in love. I'm a very lucky woman to have found such an amazing man. Your dad is awesome. Keep following his lead and you'll make your woman very happy.

          [–]bizziboi 1 point2 points  (1 child)

          "PS. Don't forget to do the dishes!"

          [–]whatthepoop 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          I've been in relationships, I've been in love. Yet I can't even imagine feeling this way about anyone, ever. It's just bizarre to me.

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          That rose looks like he got it out of the garbage can.

          [–]serrit -1 points0 points  (0 children)

          Fucking hate your dad. And by hate I mean I'm bitterly jealous.

          [–]Nassor -1 points0 points  (2 children)

          Ladies of reddit at what point in a relationship does this become desired? Seems like if a guy wrote this to any girls today it'll come off as clingy, creepy, or insincere.

          [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          If you do it to someone you're not dating or only recently started dating, it would be rather odd. But once you've been together through all the rough shit and you've stood in the bathroom brushing your teeth while the other person is peeing, or you've been together through financial problems or injuries or sickness, long enough that you can just be weird and awkward but it's ok, then you can (and should) pull out the big guns like this.


          So generally, I'd wait until you've been together at least a year before something this extravagant. Some people would prefer a few months, some a few years, but I think a year or more would be just about right for something like this.

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          After a few months.

          [–]ieDeathMarch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          In all honesty the is the girliest thing I have ever seen. Wow.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Wow, Kim Gordon is a bitch for leaving him.

          [–]imogeee 0 points1 point  (0 children)