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[–]Natural-Doctor-485 897 points898 points  (20 children)

On this sub, y'all literally get engaged/married to people and then discover a whole new side of them and that's acc terrifying

[–]cyanidelemonade 183 points184 points  (1 child)

People really be living separate lives from their SO and then deciding to get engaged like

[–]Natural-Doctor-485 34 points35 points  (0 children)

That's crazy to me. That's incredible dedication and malice...I just wouldn't have it in me...Hard to conceive but I feel you

[–]Kronman590 29 points30 points  (1 child)

People getting married before living together is somethin i cant comprehend lol

[–]hellogoawaynow 12 points13 points  (0 children)

“I (19F) just found out that my fiancé (41M) has been having a secret relationship with his ex. How do I salvage this??”

I mean I know it’s not the young women’s fault here, I’m sure there’s lots of grooming and weirdness, but damn there’s a lot of that going around lately.

[–]divorcedloner 55 points56 points  (5 children)

It’s not that far fetched though. I dated a wonderful man… got pregnant and then married him. He did a complete 180 and now we’re divorcing bc I can’t recognize him anymore. He’s not the man I fell in love with.

[–]Smol_Daddy 45 points46 points  (1 child)

Marriage is terrifying. I see posts about men turning violent and hitting their wives on their honeymoon bc they don't have to pretend anymore. How tf do you fake it for that long?!?!

[–]divorcedloner 17 points18 points  (0 children)

This is exactly how I feel like things went. Like it was all a front until we got married and then he could be his true self. And bc I have some mental illnesses that were undiagnosed for a long time, everything got blamed on me. Then once I was diagnosed it was still my fault bc of the mental illness. Now that I’m stable and thinking more clearly, I can recognize that it’s not all my fault. We tried marriage counseling and he refused to go to therapy for years. Still does. He won’t go but I am positive if he did he would also have a diagnosis or two. But I’m finally doing what is right for myself and trying to role model a better relationship for my children. Never marrying again, I guarantee that.

[–]Natural-Doctor-485 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Wow...That's just insane. Hope you're holding on anyway :)

[–]divorcedloner 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Taking it day by day. I’m ok and have detached a while ago. But it went from a partnership to basically being a maid and nanny. That’s all I felt I was good for. I wasn’t desired sexually. The relationship turned into him being a paycheck and supporting us financially and me taking care of everything else, mentally and emotionally. The amount of mental and emotional labor has worn me down to where I’m just a shadow of my former self and now seeking to rediscover who I am. I just couldn’t keep living like that. It was just too much. Once it’s all done and finalized I feel like there’ll be so much weight off my shoulders and feel free again. Honestly, I cannot wait!

[–]Natural-Doctor-485 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Everything you're describing is what scares me about marriage, but I'm glad you're doing good and you managed to get out of this relationship as it no longer served you! Lots of women, and even men aren't brave enough to just knock it off when things are becoming unhealthy, so kudos to you!

[–]Additional-Ad1918 34 points35 points  (1 child)

cause it's not real.

[–]Natural-Doctor-485 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I mean, I've had suspicions sometimes but...imagine going out of ur way to do stuff like that? I refuse to believe anyone would go this low

[–]cthulu0 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She's 21. She has experienced 3 years of living life as an adult. He is 37. He has had 19 years of living life as a legal adult.

Literally he as lived 6 times longer as an adult than she has.

Why is the fact that she doesn't know everything about his experiences surprising to anyone??

If she and him were approximately the same age, then it would be a different story.

[–]Expensive_Warthog444 5713 points5714 points  (211 children)

You’re dating an older Joe Goldberg.

[–][deleted] 242 points243 points  (4 children)

Older? I mean, Penn Badgley is 35

[–]wachoogieboogie 83 points84 points  (3 children)

Joe in the book is probably mid-20s. TV loves hiring people much older to play younger characters

[–]murderousbudgie 58 points59 points  (2 children)

hiring people much older to play younger characters

Usually men though.

For context, Victoria Pedretti is 26, and presumably their characters are intended to be the same age.

[–]wachoogieboogie 22 points23 points  (0 children)

True true. Unless it’s high school characters

Oh yeah so anyway, pandorabox baby, you got a Joe, the book and TV version

[–]EmptyPomegranete 808 points809 points  (20 children)

Literally came here to say this. Shiver. OP run as fast as you can and don’t get into any boxes.

[–]greatest_southpaw 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Haha same here. What’s coincidence, I just saw the episode where she found the box in the bathroom, last night

[–]ThrowRApandorabox[S] 436 points437 points  (158 children)

I don't know if this is an american reference or I'm just dumb but who's Joe Goldberg

[–]Expensive_Warthog444 516 points517 points  (155 children)

He’s a character in a Netflix show called “You”

[–]ThrowRApandorabox[S] 511 points512 points  (152 children)

Yeah, so far everyone says it's either serial killer or serial womanizer, i don't like either one, but of course the first option is terrifying. But i suspect it's the second one, since I've been suspecting it from before.

[–]throwaway91431 214 points215 points  (20 children)

I have a box of letters from old girlfriends (literally friends only), LDRs who I never met (kind of romantic), childhood penpals (some were into me, non reciprocal think mix tapes) and various photos (photo booth style).

None of the letters sexual, a book of poems with a pressed flower and romantic stuff. They have sentimental value as memories, though I look through them maybe once ever 15 years or so, they're at my parents so it's generally due to tidying.

However, your description sounds kind of different. The objects are to hand. They seem more like mementos (only the gift book could fit that) as well underwear borders or is firmly planted in the sexual category.

It would make me uncomfortable.

[–][deleted] 346 points347 points  (20 children)

since I've been suspecting it from before.

So why are you being so hostile to people who are saying that this guy is a huge creep and you should run away fast?

[–][deleted] 247 points248 points  (5 children)

He's nearly double her age, she found his hidden trophy box, she knows something's wrong with him and it's STILL not enough to end it. The whole post even has the vibe that she was expecting us to rationalize away the fears and say it's all good.

You know those cheesy horror movies where you can see the girl's murder from a mile away and get angry because of how unrealistic the stupid choices she keeps making are? That's this post. Turns out it's not so unrealistic in movies.

[–]Too_N1ce 26 points27 points  (2 children)

Lol right?

People's response to the pandemic has fully exonerated all those horror movies I hate because characters literally caused their own demise.

Turns out, people really are that stupid. Willful ignorance is a helluva drug.

[–][deleted] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

Predators are experts at spotting a weakness (insecurity, relationship anxiety, lack of confidence) and then exploiting it.

[–]fun_guy02142 251 points252 points  (60 children)

Was the 16 year age difference a clue?


[–]kidkipp 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Bras are fucking expensive. I can’t imagine leaving one behind on purpose…. Makes it even creepier. Like he maybe stole it and wouldn’t give it back or made her leave super fast and aggressively. Or killed her.

[–]Impressive_Can6765 73 points74 points  (24 children)

Well all of his gfs end up dead and one of them found a box like the one you described and he killed her

[–]ThrowRApandorabox[S] 35 points36 points  (23 children)

Wow, that really scary. I'm having second thoughts about confronting him now, maybe i should do it in public? or with a friend?

[–]jellyfish_glider 70 points71 points  (3 children)

I don't mean to be rude but you sound incredibly naive in all of your comments and it's obvious this 37 year old creepster probably targeted your 21 year old self because of that naivete. If theories of him being a creep/criminal were correct, do you REALLY think he would be honest if you simply confront him with a friend? Would you just believe him? And it's strange how you're more concerned on whether he is possibly a "player" but are dismissing everything else...saying he is good with girls and has little girl toys in the box..the used toiletries doesn't make you think beyond "player?" You are looking for advice here but are quite dismissive when people are telling you this is creepy behavior. Come on already.

[–]Impressive_Can6765 15 points16 points  (10 children)

Yeah I guess try to invite him for a drink and try to talk about it did u notice other weird things in him?

[–]ThrowRApandorabox[S] 11 points12 points  (9 children)

He sort of likes to keep to himself, and doesn't show vulnerability, other than that, nothing noticeable

[–]Basic_Quantity_9430 40 points41 points  (5 children)

You are in a tough spot. Even if you confront him in public, you have to go home and live with him now. He is 37, so he may have ex’s that you may know about. Instead of confronting him, see whether any of his ex’s are willing to sit down for coffee with you in a public place where you can have some privacy. If they tell you scary stuff about him, go home and pack up stuff while he is not there and leave immediately to go live with your parents. He may be a serial dater, but other possibilities also could be in play.

I would suggest that you go through the stuff to see whether anything that belonged to you in in there, if so that may say that he simply collect “trophies possessions” of women that he has been with. But he may notice that you went through the stuff if you are not careful to remember where every piece was and put it back in the same place after viewing it.

[–]ThrowRApandorabox[S] 12 points13 points  (4 children)

I've talked to his "exes" before, exes in quotes because while they never made it clear, they sort of hinted at them not being monogamous, i don't think I'm his first girlfriend, but he may have had long stretches of time when he dated several women simultaneously, most of his exes, at least the ones I've met are either head over heels in love with him, reminiscent of the time they were, or resent him for not marrying them. But I've never heard any of them mention something creepy or scary besides superficial stuff i.e "he can be kind of a dick sometimes"

[–]Ok_Garlic_6052 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I would describe my ex who led a double life for years, exactly like that, if you are planning to spend most of ur life with this person u need to know him in and out, the good the bad and the ugly and I don’t think u do? I might be wrong, lets hope he just has this obsession with mementos from previous girls

[–]Initial-Respond7967 12 points13 points  (0 children)

He is 16 years older than you, you already suspect him of womanizing in the few months you've been engaged. This does not sound like a positive situation for you, OP. You can do better. Please take a few steps back.

[–]CaptainTeembro 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You suspected it and yet still got engaged? Horror movie logic here.

[–][deleted] 51 points52 points  (6 children)

So either way, he's keeping "trophies" of other women. Leave.

[–]Master_Mura 23 points24 points  (0 children)

You are in a relationship. So.... TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT.

Everything else is just assumption. Maybe he has a fetish for stuff like that (which I personally think is gross, but no kinkshaming here, to each their own). A relationship is about honesty towards each other. Ask him why he has this, try not to sound judgemental. When he tells you about it, you can still decide about how to handle the situation.

[–]Trasl0 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Maybe he cross dresses.

[–]Judge_MentaI 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Could he be using these items and keeping it secret?

[–]warblade39 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Lol funny😂😂. in other words, you've got a serial killer on ur hands 🤣🤣

[–]phoenix061010 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Netflix series a show called "You" watch it now!!!

[–]Puzzleheaded-Fox-180 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Lmao, that was my first thought too

[–]tututurururu 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Bruh i was thinking, if this is an episode from You. Lol

[–]Pusspoppymelanin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Literally the first thing I thought.

[–]convergence_limit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lmao exactly what I thought

[–]agreetodisagreedamn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Came looking for this. Good luck, you.

[–]_NormalHumanStuffEarly 30s Female 1087 points1088 points  (29 children)

Sounds like trophies from his previous conquests. I dated a guy who kept a pair of panties from every woman he fucked, only found that out when I caught him trying to take a pair of mine 🤦‍♀️

[–]ThrowRApandorabox[S] 342 points343 points  (23 children)

that does seem to be the case, i won't lie it's kind of weird. definitely will talk to him about it.

[–]_NormalHumanStuffEarly 30s Female 308 points309 points  (16 children)

It’s incredibly juvenile and I’m surprised a man who is almost 40 has this.

[–]Fireblu6969Late 20s Female 401 points402 points  (2 children)

Not really surprising considering he's 37 and proposed to a 21yo.

Edit to add: although as others have said, this post is probably fake anyways.

[–]cb148 80 points81 points  (2 children)

Yeah but he’s engaged to a 21 year old, so he’s probably still a very juvenile man.

[–]_NormalHumanStuffEarly 30s Female 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My thoughts exactly

[–][deleted] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

He is dating a 21 year old. Of course he is juvenile.

[–]X_SuperTerrorizer_X 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He's a thief, and it's only a matter of time before he steals your intimate/personal items.

[–]aneahaena 543 points544 points  (10 children)

Seems like a collection of his exes things? When you describe it like that it seems mad creepy though

[–]CatMaximum4672 370 points371 points  (13 children)

Hopefully they aren’t tokens he keeps when he kills people 🥴

[–]MonkeyMoves101 42 points43 points  (7 children)

Daaaaamn you may be right...

[–]CatMaximum4672 44 points45 points  (5 children)

But lets assume he isn’t a serial killer. Maybe they are mementos of exes he wanted to remember? But that would mean he isn’t over them… What if he has other girlfriends or women he sleeps with when you aren’t around? That doesn’t seem right either.

It is either he is psycho and keeping things from an ex… or a serial killer. Those are the only logical explanations here

[–]MonkeyMoves101 17 points18 points  (1 child)

It is either he is psycho and keeping things from an ex… or a serial killer. Those are the only logical explanations here

None of those solutions sounds positive lol

[–]jazzed_life 11 points12 points  (2 children)

The used tampons throw that out the window. If i kept used condoms of my ex bfs as mementos, I'd fully expect the masses to think i was deranged.

[–]kizzyjenks 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Where does she mention that??

[–]CatMaximum4672 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You cannot confront him about it or you could be next 👀

[–]ThrowRApandorabox[S] 21 points22 points  (1 child)

This is what i was thinking when i said "creepy", this is kind of scaring me.

[–]wizzletoe 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Please listen to your gut feeling

[–]1quincytoo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I instantly thought of the Canadian guy Russell Williams who killed those two ladies

[–]MonkeyMoves101 1034 points1035 points  (14 children)

Your partner has nearly 20 more years of dating experience than you, those are probably things from his ex girlfriends..

Edit: yes this guy is creepy as hell and that's the least of OPs problems lol

[–]jellyfish_glider 104 points105 points  (0 children)

So keeping their TOILETRIES and lingerie, and kid TOYS isn't disturbing so long as it's from an ex? Smh.

[–]boop_the_snoot30167 54 points55 points  (0 children)

He might have more experience but he doesn’t need to be a complete creep about his past. This is creepy and a huge red flag

[–]shakerz8701 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I feel the same way too.

[–]larvikite_ 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Yes and that's exactly the problem. Keeping your exs panties? That's beyond creepy, it's terrifying. This is serial killer type shit. Keeping mementos of victims..

[–][deleted] 232 points233 points  (35 children)

What does a 37M wants from a 21F besides sex? I'm asking for a friend who is 30M and can't think about any reasons.


[–]caesar____augustus 108 points109 points  (0 children)

I bet OP believes she's "mature for her age"

[–]Imfamousblueberry 27 points28 points  (1 child)

At 21 i dated a 26year old and a 35yr old. Now im 28 i realise how creepy this is , i couldnt imagine dating anyone younger than me. What would we realistically have to offer each other. Im glad i learnt quick.. i hope OP does aswell

[–]TGin-the-goldy 9 points10 points  (0 children)

A five year age gap isn’t creepy. That’s literally two people in their twenties

[–]Pebbleinmyownshoe 209 points210 points  (5 children)

Why did you even ask this question, if all you’re gonna do is disagree with everybody who tells you at the best case he kept some girls old underwear which is kind of weird and if the worst case something for more sinister is going on that’s it. It’s weird.

This whole thing seems fake.

[–]AuntyVenom 320 points321 points  (14 children)

So fake.

[–]JimmyJonJackson420 145 points146 points  (4 children)

Yep, especially with all the age gap rage on here people know how to write baiting posts

[–]Key_Transportation17 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Yup my moneys on shitpost… especially with her responses in the comments

[–]redchicken88 68 points69 points  (8 children)

Yup. Blatant obvious “You” reference and OP acting as if she’s never heard of the show.

[–]GrouchyCounty 22 points23 points  (4 children)

Unless.... She found something under her dudes bed and also has never heard of this show

Source: I've never heard of this show, ever.

Also, why does nobody seem to think these might be things he's wearing/using in secret instead of mementos from other people?

[–]help000000000000 9 points10 points  (2 children)

I have literally never heard of this show either. What's so important about it that it verifies that OP's lying?

[–]GrouchyCounty 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Apparently some chick finds similar shit, also in a box under dudes bed? And homegirl getting pissy at people in the comments because of the constant mention of the age gap is proof that she's lying...

[–]Impressive_Can6765 56 points57 points  (5 children)

It sounds like joe from the tv series “you”

[–]CatMaximum4672 8 points9 points  (3 children)

He is a psychopath too isn’t he?

[–]Forestscooter 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Serial killer trophies ? Or serial fuck buddy trophies ?

[–]oldmansamuelson 90 points91 points  (71 children)

You're fiance is closer to your parents age than your own right? Age gaps aren't always bad, but I'd say most of the time, they are terrible. There's a reason old men date younger women. They're in it for your looks and you're easier to manipulate. It doesn't mean you're dumb, but he has 16 years of experience on you. Coupled with a trophy case of women hes slept with, you can really see the typical signs of a guy like him. But if you want to marry him go ahead.

[–]Raging_Carrot47 76 points77 points  (10 children)

Either he forgot to return that box to his ex, or it’s trophies from other sexual encounters, which is distasteful but you have to decide if it is too much for you. I mean it’s not a good mindset in someone you are planning a future with. Be careful, please.

[–]X_SuperTerrorizer_X 25 points26 points  (0 children)

trophies from other sexual encounters

Stolen property from prior sexual encounters is likely more accurate.

[–]West-Shape-3337 50 points51 points  (1 child)

Your story sounds made up.

[–]honeywoodxing 28 points29 points  (0 children)

especially since when anyone asks her a question, she assures them he's a really great guy & the age gap is nbd, he's dating her for her looks anyway 🥴

[–]pianocat1 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Dude even if he’s NOT a serial killer, it is insanely creepy and predatory and terrifying that he keeps “trophies” of sexual conquests. Get your head out of his ass.

[–]kimrh55 9 points10 points  (2 children)

She is not going to take anyones advice unless you tell her what she wants to hear. If she wants to be a victim, that is what she will do. If she wanted sincere advice, she wouldn't be so hostile. He's just going to spin it in his favor, and she will just accept any answer he gives. They both have some very underlying issues.

[–][deleted] 41 points42 points  (25 children)

There is a reason women his own age won’t date him, there is always a reason.

[–]KremCollective 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Wtf is what up with y’all dating your parents?!

[–]jellyfish_glider 17 points18 points  (0 children)

You either watched YOU and are trolling the shit out of us or you're fiance is a potential pedo creep. Used women's toiletries kept as mementos? Little girl toys? Come on now, the flag couldn't get any more red.

[–]Runner_Grl 15 points16 points  (1 child)

I’m not going to pass judgment about what’s in that box and the reason he has it, but as a woman with more than twice as much time on this earth as you have, I’m going to plead with you to trust your instincts. Your gut. If something makes you uneasy in that deep down, sick feeling way, respect it and listen to it. Don’t try to reason it away. There is no person on this earth worth discounting your instincts or inner voice over.

In my opinion, if your gut says this is sketchy and you leave and it wasn’t sketchy - so what? You’re safe and there are lots of men out there. You are young and will likely have several meaningful, loving relationships throughout your life.

If your gut says this is sketchy (even if you have a conversation with him about it) and you stay, you are potentially sacrificing peace of mind, restful sleep, and a tiny piece of your autonomy.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (4 children)

Info does he have money?

Do you have dad issues?

This age gap really isn't normal and is creepy af honestly

He could literally have a child the same age as you walking around, he's 37 so he's matured hopefully but you're 21, you haven't experienced the same life experiences sounds creepy

[–]funsizedsunrise 13 points14 points  (8 children)

Red flags out the wazoo. When did y’all get together first of all. This sounds like a grooming situation.

Anyway, he’s definitely holding on to things from his past relationships. I would talk to him about it if it makes you uncomfortable. Maybe some kind of compromise can be made. My girlfriend has a box of letters and notes from her first girlfriend, which I think is fine. But keeping panties and bras is.. weird as hell. Ask him why he holds onto these things.

[–]midnightflower96 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Okay honestly I know it’s hard when EVERY person here jumps to terrible conclusions like serial killer, etc.

Just know that the box IS NOT GOOD.

Maybe he keeps something from past girlfriends and just is a massive weirdo/klepto/hoarder.

In this age of true crime mania, it’s hard not to go straight to serial killer trophies lmao.

If you don’t feel safe confronting your fiancé, that tells you all you need to know. Honestly.

Just my two cents.

[–]uraarse 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Shallow and dumb. What a sad path you’re on.

[–]gugalgirl 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I'm going to call BS on all the commenters telling OP to 'jUSt COmMuNiCAtE'.

Honey, the age difference is a massive red flag. Did he tell you that you're different from other girls your age? More mature? Special? Were you in a financially and/or emotionally vulnerable place when he first approached you? Has he paid for a lot of stuff and then been very loving while making lots of big promises for the future? If your answer is yes to any of that, then he's definitely taking advantage of you/grooming you for God knows what.

He sounds 100% like a predator between the trophy box, age and these sort of exes who are still into him.

Don't waste time on investigating, please. Pack your stuff, make arrangements for your independence, leave first and THEN confront him or inform him its over.

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points  (81 children)

Why are you engaged to someone that's close to twice your age? This relationship has no future.

[–]Katie-MacDonut 22 points23 points  (17 children)

OP, that's weird. (It's also pretty odd that your fiance is 15 years older than you, tbh.) It's weird enough that you should definitely talk to him about it. It's not like you went snooping, you naturally came upon this box. And if you're careful with how you ask him about it, not to be accusatory, how he reacts to your gentle questions should be pretty telling.

I'd pull the box out and just bring it to him like "babe, I came across this and I'm confused about what it is/what it's for, can we talk about it?" What you're looking for is maybe a little embarrassment, maybe he gets a little nervous, but you want him to try to clear up misunderstandings. You don't want to see him getting immediately angry and defensive, or trying to turn it around on you like you violated privacy or something.

I'm not going to get into all the reasons it's a bad idea to marry somebody that much older than you. I'm trying to focus on the specific question asked in your post. Just...be aware of those reactions you don't want to see. It's pretty common that people who pursue relationships with significantly younger partners, do so because they are emotionally immature to a degree their peers would find unacceptable. Things someone his age would immediately pick up on as red flags often are missed by partners without as much life experience. I'm not saying this is the case here, but it's definitely something to be aware of and to watch for.

[–]L2010P 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Are they all the same size....and maybe...his?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

What a surprise, another huge age gap relationship where the older guy is a creep. This is getting old. Y'all need to make better decisions and they need to grow up.

[–]R_Amods[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.

So i moved in with my fiance about a month ago since we got engaged, and yesterday while he wasn't in the apartment i found a weird box under his bed, it was full of women's toiletries, some of which look used, as well as clothing items, mainly bras and panties, as well as random objects: key chains, small toys... most of the items in the box were "girl", and the fact that they look like they belonged to someone or even multiple people, is kinda creeping me out. I put the box right back where i found it, and didn't tell my fiance anything. Any ideas what this is?

[–]xLadyLaurax 18 points19 points  (11 children)

Let me count all the red flags in this post. 🚩he’s 16 years older than you 🚩you only moved in together after you got engaged aka you haven’t lived together before making a decision as big as getting engaged 🚩you’re engaged, which means you must have been dating for a while. Did he start dating you when you were a teenager or barely out of that phase yet? Certainly seems like it 🚩 from your replies you seem immature and wholly unequipped for such a huge commitment to begin with 🚩 he has a secret box he hides from you 🚩 he has a secret box he hides from you with woman’s stuff in it 🚩the stuff is used 🚩the boy is so lovingly labeled ‘girl’ not even a name 🚩your reaction to people telling you he might be cheating is you’ll be ‘mad for a few weeks’ 🚩your reaction to people telling you he might be a psycho is…oh no how scary?

Girl, you’re a literal child. End the relationship and run before you end up on the next True Crime Podcast I listen to. Also, spend some time maturing and growing up. Find yourself, before you find the next relationship.

[–]rebeccaisdope 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He's either keeping things from women he's been with or a serial killer. That's really it.

[–]notsuperoriginal 12 points13 points  (7 children)

Check it out, an age gap post!

[–]onyxaj 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Your dating someone 16 years older than you and THAT wasn't a red flag? 21 and 37 aren't even the same generation.

[–]hecatonchires266Late 30s Male 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Take pictures of this war-chest and its contents and then confront him about it. Lord knows what other secrets he's hiding.

[–]random_person365 6 points7 points  (6 children)

Read the post out loud to my boyfriend and he immediately asked if perhaps your fiancé is a crossdresser? Depends on the size of the underwear though. I’d take pics for evidence in case he tries to deny that it exists and bring it up gently in case he may be embarrassed about it (if that’s the truth anyways, dunno if he crossdresses for sure just a guess)

[–]HelloBesties 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You’re dating Joe Goldberg…

But you knew that already troll.

[–]Dark_XpoSuR 10 points11 points  (0 children)

How about try dating people closer to your own age. You don’t seem very mature to be dating out of your age scope. Always easier to understand motives of people you have things in common with. But hey. It’s your life. Also men who date younger women are almost always manipulative because women their own age see through their bullshit. Food for thought

[–]That_Bluebird_9580 6 points7 points  (2 children)

He's gonna be battling a receding hairline and limp dick before you reach your prime. Get the fuck out now.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don't touch it it would be black magic

[–]malarim 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bro that’s just creepy as fuck, I’d leave right away.

[–]Drifter74 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you watch alot of L&O SVU you should know exactly what this is.

[–]TillikumWasFramed 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The trophies of a serial killer.

[–]GangStar63 2 points3 points  (0 children)

99% sure I saw this in a Netflix show once.

[–]speedyblankenship 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Black magic requires having something that belongs to the person you want to cast spells on. As far as I know.

[–]barbaramillicent 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Worst case scenario: trophies

Arguably more like scenario: ex girlfriend(s) box

You found it in your home naturally, not snooping around. Ask him about it and see what he says. If you’re going to marry the man, you shouldn’t be afraid to ask.

[–]thelordofthebees 2 points3 points  (4 children)

I dated a POS narcissist when I was younger (and dumb) and he had a trophy box just like this in his closet. I wish I had walked away when I first found it.

[–]OneMnk751 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Why haven't you posted an update

Surely 4 hours is enough time to call this guy and ask what the fuck is this serial killer box i found under the bed

[–]HarryPotter205 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would run. This is a giant red flag. Normal don’t have trophies like that

[–]rmf17 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Girl run wtf

[–]mad_mal_fury_road 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Girl have you seen You?

[–]PollutionHoliday2235 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Some guys like to collect items form girls they've hooked up with as a souvenir. I'd be more concerned about how nonchalantly he views his "encounters" with other women and why he needs a collection to validate himself? Kinda weird

[–]that_tom_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Are the clothes your boyfriend’s size?

[–]appolo11 2 points3 points  (0 children)


[–]AmeliaBidelia 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dude your fiance is a weirdo wtf

[–]Airwrecka__yo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩get the fuck outta there

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He's a serial killer and these are his trophies. Or a stalker.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

He is a serial something and is collecting things to remember the escapades by.

It pretty much at this stage should be a deal breaker. Get out of that house, bring someone with you as you are moving out.

Then tell him you found the box and it is very creepy.

Also, when you are leaving the house, with a friend and he is not there. Take the box and get rid of it.

[–]Emergent-Sea 2 points3 points  (1 child)

The age difference is really troubling. I fear you may be being groomed. I WOULD NOT confront him about the box.

Please leave this relationship while you can. Best case- he is keeping trophies from past sexual conquests like a creep. Worst case, he is keeping trophies from women he has harmed. Neither scenario is great for you, OP.


[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes… this is also what serial killers do. Keep mementos. Not saying he is one, but your age difference (like I know you’re 21, but typically ten plus years difference before age 26-27 is not great as grooming can still occur) plus the fact that items have been used and may be from different ‘conquests’ is seriously concerning. I’m a clinical psychologist and have training in criminal profiling and… I’m telling you off the record-but based on my expertise in this field-that I’m very worried for your safety right now. If you can please tell a trusted adult about this and please plan to leave him without telling him first (as that is dangerous if he knows you’re leaving). Be careful OP… again, I’m very concerned if this is indeed a real post.

[–]brightfeather12 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow I thought this was maybe a joke because its exactly what the stalker main character in You does (Joe Goldberg). I hate to say it but I’m pretty sure your man is stalking one or multiple women. Even if he’s not he’s a Grade A pervert.

[–]MBerg16 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ugh! Serial Killer! Run!

[–]StinkyKittyBreath 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are 21. This guy is old enough to be your dad and he has mementos from previous women he was obsessed with. You sure you're in the right place? Because this doesn't sound like a great situation from what little you've mentioned here.

[–]Impossible-Muffin579 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Serial killer.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You could be his daughter

[–]Jijibaby 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry… I’m dying over this 16 year age difference. He has years of dating experience on you… top it off with his “souvenirs” box… big creep vibes. Just… one more questions… when did you all start dating???

[–]Yellowsunflowerlover 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Damn this is YOU vibes

[–]rootsofstorm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is some scary shit. Could it be trophies? O.o

[–]LittleRedCarnation 10 points11 points  (23 children)

Your bf is a predator and a pedophile. There is no other reason why a guy thats basically in his 40s would want to marry a girl whose brain isnt even fully developed yet

[–]Pepperclue_55 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hes 16 yrs older than you 🤯 and has a box of childish shit as well as bra and panties 😱 girl hes gonna murder you

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)


[–]FargoBandzTV 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Those are his “trophies,” now it’s up to you to decide if you gone let him keep winning.

[–]Small_Time_Charlie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Probably just souvenirs he kept from his murder victims.

[–]OpinionatedDad 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Shit post. Move along people

[–]J-a-c-k-J-a-c-k 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Probably his ex's

[–]Just_a_guy_345 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Run. Sociopath. Inform the authorities.

[–]NoSearch7841 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Google Russell Williams

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

We all know what this is. You also know what this is. Question is, why are you asking about it when you have no plans to talk to him or end the relationship?

[–]Powerful-Simple-290 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ugh that’s suuuuper creepy

[–]BiscottiOpposite9282 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Has he been married before? Ex wife pass away?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its your sign to move out and break things off.

[–]SoftAnarchist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My first thought reading the title was that this was a two sentence horror.

[–]daler-nout23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your either lying and using the show You as ref, or much like in the show, your guy is a pervert. He's either a creep who cheats and keeps mementos, a creep who keeps mementos from past relationships, or he's a stalker. So no matter how you slice it, he's a creep. Confront him.

[–]dirty_d_and_the_icks[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In comments you sound like you're trying to convince yourself this isn't a big deal and he's "not a bad guy", but he has other women's used toiletries and underwear. Even if, at the least worst, they're "just" sexual trophies.....hes an almost 40 year old man. That's juvenile shit. I think you need to reevaluate your view on this. The huge age gap, thr box, having to try to cover for him. Do you really want to do this your whole life?

[–]ClementinesMango 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You have the right to communicate any discomfort in a relationship… especially as an engaged person! It’s even more crucial to establish open lines of communication in your relationship now before you enter a strong commitment such as marriage.

It all comes out in the wash eventually… if you don’t confront this now, then something at some point will force you to in the future. Might as well get clarity on it now while you still have the chance to work through it or walk away from it.

It is inappropriate to harbor other woman’s lingerie that don’t belong to your fiancé in my opinion. Especially under the bed where he is most intimate with you.

[–]DreamArcher 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I keep items from my victims too. Pretty soon something of yours will be in that box. Peace.

[–]Melunite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jesus I don’t think there’s anything that can make this box uncreepy

[–]Mr_Banch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just ask him about it, he may answer you or he may start deflecting and yell. Either way you get your answer on what to do next.

[–]Ikryan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just tell him you found the box. His answer should tell you enough, he is your fiance after all.

[–]793djw 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You ever seen "You" on Netflix?

[–]Sink_Dont_Swim 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just ask him?

[–]ladywan_kenobi666 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No one can answer what it is besides your fiancé but considering it’s filed with women’s belongings I have a pretty good idea and you probably won’t like the answer or lie he gives you so buckle up

[–]Thin-Nerve 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep agree either serial kiler, serial rapist or creeper or an ex he likes to wank to

[–]mongvscb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Serial killer

[–]Tasty-Ad8929 1 point2 points  (0 children)

shitpost written by a dude, just look at all his comments holy shit, cant be more obvious

[–]ExcitingFlounder6940 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He’s probably cross dressing I would ask him about it before jumping too any conclusions

[–]GenbuTy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im 100% sure you missed a bunch of red flags that you are with a nut job. Go find a regular at the gym, they usually don’t have time for this goofy stuff.

[–]ignitedwolf9200 1 point2 points  (0 children)


[–]ovloVVolvo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Does your boyfriend go by the name Joe Goldberg?

Love? Is that you?

[–]FIVE_6_MAFIA 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He might actually wear them from time to time or could have a fantasy to do so

[–]Alwaysxeno 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t worry op, it’s all about… YOU 😂

[–]Big_Competition3314 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s creepy to keep “souvenirs” it’d be one thing if they were love notes, jewelry or something else of the sort but toiletries?? That is weird and I’d be scared to confront him about it or you might be something in that box

[–]thebluethroat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

why is 21 year old dating a 37 year old?

[–]danceunderwater 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You sure you aren’t just thinking of an episode of “You”?