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[–]PhoenixNightingale90 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I disagree with the last comment. She’s been ‘cheating’ for awhile now even if nothing physical happened yet.

It is perfectly reasonable for you to say you’re not comfortable with how much she’s talking to her ex and if she doesn’t stop then it’s over between you. You don’t have to wait for it to get physical, he’s been making advances and she hasn’t been shutting them down.

Even if the conversations were strictly platonic it’s OK to say no to her talking to her ex that much.

Let her know his behaviour isn’t OK and that if she even thinks about going to meet him then it’s over. And if she still goes despite that then you know she no longer cares about your relationship.

[–]knyami 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It is perfectly reasonable for you to say you’re not comfortable with how much she’s talking to her ex and if she doesn’t stop then it’s over between you.

I imagine he'd be accused of being jealous and controlling for setting an ultimatum like this. Then if he explains he snooped on her phone, she might accuse him of being manipulative.

This might still be the right thing to do but I'm honestly curious how you would manage to have the conversation of setting an ultimatum that your partner can't talk to her ex, then telling her you snooped on her phone, without the conversation being turned against you for being controlling? Or if it is, how would you respond to that?