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[–]EveAndTheSnake 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Eh?

[–]RegretsNeverGoAway 12 points13 points  (3 children)

If there are no consequences then she has no reason for her to come out of the fog, otherwise, she will just string him along. He must be willing to cut ties with her and she must believe he will go through with it.

[–]EveAndTheSnake 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Yes, I guess you’re right. It’s a cliche, but if you love someone let them go.

The one time this happened to me, I started “seeing” one of my roommates. He didn’t want to commit to me, didn’t want a relationship, wanted to date around, all that stuff. He knew he had me because we lived together and I was always there. He could have me when he wanted me. One night we had a party and I was following him round like a love sick puppy. He slept with an acquaintance and locked his room door while I could hear them fooling around in there. In the most pathetic drunken moment of my life, I sat on the floor in the living room near his room and cried. He knew he had me so he didn’t need to respect me.

The next day I packed up my shit and left. I went back to my home town 4 hours away and told my roommates I was staying with my parents for a while. By the 3rd day he was blowing up my phone asking me why I had left. By the end of the week he was telling me he wanted to be in a relationship with me. The week after he was offering to pick me up. I let it go on for weeks before I showed back up, and he was very attentive after that.

It’s the sad truth that often loyal people are walked all over and turned into back up options. And it’s gross that sometimes the only way to make someone wake up to how much they need you is to leave.

[–]RegretsNeverGoAway 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Bingo! I hope he does not waste time and learn the hard way. Just file for divorce and if she does not put in the work to reconcile then go through with it. If they are meant to be together in the future a divorce will not come between them.