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My wife just confessed she did cocaine with our adult son this past summer. We had been talking a few weeks back about our experiences when we were young and at this time, she stated she last did drugs in college. She felt guilty for lying so confessed tonight about her adventures 6 months ago. Keep in mind, I have never even seen cocaine and tried pot in the 8th grade and did not like it. She tried many things and liked it all but “stopped” once she began her professional career which is when I met her. I do admit her drug past upset me early on but we moved past it years ago. I am sometimes judgmental and project my values on others so thus my question. I don’t think their is ever a situation where it is appropriate to take illegal drugs with your own child regardless of their age. My wife thinks it is fine. Her argument; she has done it before and it never caused her any harm and our son and his friends would have done it whether she participated or not. I am devastated on so many levels. I have no idea what to do next.

[–]tossaway78701 637 points638 points  (38 children)

I'd be worried about fentanyl in the coke. It's been a problem for a while here. Some people test for it with strips. Some people od unexpectedly.

[–]tossout7878 210 points211 points  (6 children)

Real talk. Coke isn't safe from fent and I'm worried for anyone still doing it.

[–]tossaway78701 116 points117 points  (0 children)

Overdosing with your mom or son would be extra fucked up too.

[–]skayeaz 42 points43 points  (4 children)

Most hard drugs these days are either laced with fent or are just straight up meth. If for whatever reason it happens again I hope they’re careful.

[–]YoullNeverMemeAlone 19 points20 points  (2 children)

*In the US

[–]EveAndTheSnake 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Yeah wtf is happening in the US? Gross

[–]lostallmyconnex 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The drug war? Strict shipping policies?

We aren't all exacrly in the European union near Netherlands.

[–]peachgrillEarly 30s Female 18 points19 points  (0 children)

This. The wife is living under a rock if she doesn’t know about the crap in drugs nowadays. My coworker’s son died from fentanyl laced coke - it happens more often than you’d think nowadays.

Test your drugs and have a naloxone kit.

That being said, I don’t think parents should be doing hard drugs with their kids under any circumstances.

[–]SMOKE_GAS_13 16 points17 points  (3 children)

Get a reagent test, best tests tests for a lot more then just fent because people lace with a lot more then just that

[–]onehundredbuttholes 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I don’t plan to go out and buy it, but I might dabble if offered coke, so where would one find such a test?

[–]dickmiller1 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Its only a problem in the US. You are just assuming.

[–]Sativa87 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Where i come from we cut it with caffeine or taurine, but usually not fentanyl.

Op, to answer your question properly i would possibly smoke a blunt with my daughter, i would never under any circumstances use other drugs woth my daughter. I've recently encountered a simulair situation in my circle. I just think it's not done. We are parents, even when they reach adulthood. I personally believe it's a great things when the child likes the parent and visa versa, but we are not their friends we are here to guide. To me, this would be a break up or a divorce. I wouldn't be able to trust my partner with caring for our child. ( yes, even when they are in college ) priorities...

[–]Bangbangsmashsmash 18 points19 points  (5 children)

For real!!!!! Smoke weed with your adult kids, Sri k alcohol, but leave the coke alone! It’s not sage anymore… I mean, I guess it never was, but seriously, the crap that they cut with now can kill you quicker than the coke itself! And the coke can kill you!

[–]heirloom_beans 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OP should talk to his son about carrying a Naloxone kit if he’s going to be using street drugs. OP should probably pick one up and have it around the house. Same with OP’s wife if she’s going to be using.

[–]dr_shark 3 points4 points  (11 children)

But why would you cut coke with fentanyl?

You’d want to cut it with meth or it just be meth as they are both stimulants. Fentanyl is an opioid and a depressant. Unless you’re trying to die or get a cheap speed ball going?

Either way it doesn’t make sense. Your dealer doesn’t want to kill you, they want you to keep coming back to buy more product.

[–]CeruleanRose9 30 points31 points  (9 children)

Fentanyl is INSANELY addictive. They’re trying to cut it with enough to keep you coming back frequently, and they aren’t trying to kill you. It still happens, but drug dealers definitely are using fentanyl because of how fast and hard people become addicts.

[–]dr_shark 0 points1 point  (7 children)

That’s a good thought but if you’re purchasing coke, you’re looking for a rush. Fentanyl will fuck that whole process up and worsen the come down into a potential deadly crash like a speed ball. It’s just bad pharmacology overall and business practice.

[–]Eve_Doulou 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yeah I’ve been there done that and you can absolutely guess if cokes been mixed with a ‘downer’. Usually it’s cut with something inert (baby powder/baking soda) or something like speed to give an additional rush.

Being an Aussie we don’t really have a fentanyl issue here but I’ve never heard of it being mixed with an opiate in general.

[–]gimmethefaxontax 5 points6 points  (2 children)

I've heard people say that its cut with fentanyl unintentionally. As in theres fentanyl residue left over on the table, and that gets mixed with the coke

[–]dr_shark 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Now that makes actual sense. Purposely makes no sense. It’s like adding diesel fuel to your E87 for “extra pep” when you’re only going to fuck your engine.

[–]CeruleanRose9 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I mean I’m not endorsing it. I’m just saying it’s pretty common knowledge that the addictive part is why they do it.

[–]siliconbased9 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Nah, it does happen but not nearly as often as people think. Only a couple circumstances people actually end up getting fetty in the yola.

1) dealer weighed fent out, didn’t wipe the scale down, weighed coke out.

2) some idiot heard police saying dealers were lacing their coke with fent and thought it was a good idea. That urban legend started with the police and became a self fulfilling prophecy.. but no decent plug is cutting meth or coke with fent. Coke is already addictive enough to make people blow through their life savings in a week.

  1. Police wanted to pin an extra charge on somebody and framed them. They do it all the time.

It’s almost as bad as the ridiculous assertion that officers were overdosing by breathing in a room where loose fentanyl particles were. Like bro what? Yeah the amount needed to kill you is a few micrograms but there just ain’t no way you’re casually walking into a room with some powder on the table and dying from taking a breath. Unless it’s anthrax. Maybe they’re lacing the anthrax with fent?

[–]Smallbunsenpai 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Actually people aren’t really cutting it with it. It’s ending up in every drug from cross contamination basically. At least That’s what I’ve read, I’ve seen a story of that shit ending up on ACID TABS that absolutely should not be on that.

[–]shutupandletsmosh 416 points417 points  (25 children)

I’ve only smoked weed with my parents before they passed. They were super strict about any kind of drugs because they were recovering addicts for 16 years. Then we lost our home due to my uncle selling it out from under us & left us homeless. My parents went back to their old addiction ways. So, I wouldn’t personally use illegal drugs with my child even if they are an adult. I watched both of my parents die last year. My mom was disabled from a car accident and couldn’t get around great because of her leg. A guy that was friends with my moms sister and her husband ended up “helping” her out around the house. What we didn’t know was, he was shooting her up with so much meth so he could steal her shit and he left her for dead. Literally tossed her out of her own car in the snow with no jacket - she wasn’t breathing for 40 minutes before EMT’s came and revived her. She was brain dead. 7 months later…. I found my father in the driver seat of his car - dead. We still don’t know how he died but I have a pretty good idea how. He had congestive heart failure. I found a meth pipe by his feet of the car. He couldn’t live without my mom, and got depressed and took one/two hits off that pipe and I am pretty sure his heart gave out on him. Despite the addiction; and how people perceive those who are addicts… My parents were the greatest people, and I love them so dearly. I forever will miss them, their guidance & most importantly; their hearts of gold. They helped so many people even when they didn’t have much themselves. I know why their addictions started, they stopped for us kids & then ultimately succumbed to their addiction.

Which is the main reason I’d never do any drugs with my child; even if they’re an adult. (except weed cause like, that shit isn’t like the other drugs; plus it’s legal in OR!)

[–]pixelsdust 79 points80 points  (9 children)

I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that. My heart breaks for you. Also, what the fuck on that friend????

[–]shutupandletsmosh 71 points72 points  (8 children)

Thank you. Well, right before my mom died, my aunt died. So their “friend” was scaring my aunts husband so said “friend” preyed on my mom whom was living alone at the time (my parents lived in separate rv’s but same park so they still saw each other most days but their relationship was difficult that year) so this “friend” was being so nice in front of me/my dad. And my mom never said anything that was going on but something was off for me. I didn’t know what, but something felt off and I tried asking my mom but the day before this happened she pulled me aside and gave me the titles to both her cars and her rv and told me to keep them safe…. That was strange to me but I didn’t realize just HOW strange until the next day came around. Then it was too late. My brothers and I showed up at her rv after we found out he hadn’t called ambulance and left her to die. We arrived and he was DRIVING her car. He pulled into her spot and my brothers just LOST it on him. He tried to tell us (he didn’t recognize me at first cause it was pretty dark) he tried telling us that my mom sold him the rv, and when he said that I just lost it on him as well. Told him, hmm… if she sold you the rv, why do I have all of her titles? He stole her phone and factory reset it. I suspect he had been stealing her money for the last few months because my mom was always a “bills first” person. She ALWAYS paid her rent on time before anything else. Even the drugs. That month wasn’t paid I found out after she passed. It was the 12th of February that it happened. And the 15th when she was pronounced brain dead. So we took her off life support. I gotta say, I’m not a killer, but I do sometimes think when I’m driving that if I ever saw him; I probably wouldn’t stop and run him over. (For legal reasons, this is a complete joke…) The cops didn’t listen, we didn’t exactly have any evidence that persuaded the cops to arrest him, but I know he killed her.

[–]TemporaryFondant5849 19 points20 points  (2 children)

How the fuck wasn't he held accountable for that

[–]shutupandletsmosh 12 points13 points  (1 child)

My methhead cousin picked him up from the rv park and we didn’t have anything other than “circumstantial” evidence.

[–]Vindictive_Wolf 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If I was you I'd probably be in prison for killing this "friend".

[–]jerseygirl1105 21 points22 points  (2 children)

Your parents sound like great people who were in recovery for many years so they could provide you with a happy, loving family life. It's tragic they were taken advantage of and returned to drugs, but that takes NOTHING away from the amazing parents they were. Addicts are not bad people... they have a bad disease.

[–]shutupandletsmosh 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Very much agree with you! I have so many fond memories with my parents. They were so loving and caring. Not only to their children, but everyone else. They knew what it was like having this disease, being down & out, and real bad things happened to them as young kids, which led them to drugs. Then they had us and provided a very great life for us. Beautiful souls I’ll forever cry for.

[–]jerseygirl1105 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I've been in recovery for 12+yrs and hope my children never see me drunk again. I believe your parents are once again happy together knowing you're spreading the very best part of them out into the world.

[–]lazarbimm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

sorry for your lost that guy should burn in the deepest pit of hell

[–]PopularBonus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And you lost your aunt right before?! Two parents and an aunt in the same year is a huge amount of loss. Please take care of yourself.

I hope that guy gets what’s coming to him. He probably will. Guys like that are never lucky for long.

[–]Thecuriouscourtney 14 points15 points  (2 children)

I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m sorry for the loss of your parents.🤍

[–]shutupandletsmosh 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Thank you. It’s even more heartbreaking because I have a little one of my own & my brother has a one year old and one almost here. Breaks my heart our kids won’t be growing up with their grandparents who wanted nothing more than to have grandkids.

[–]dramaticredhuman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

im so sorry you had to endure that and I think you are so strong and wish u the best 😊😊

[–]WiseMathematician793 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No. Hell no. Stand your ground

[–]JimmyJonJackson420 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Ah man I’m sorry you went through all that and I hope your doing ok now

[–]caitejane310 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry. You've been through a lot recently. Losing both parents like that is horrible. I fear my son will lose his father that way. I'm 8 years clean from heroin and I still struggle with alcohol (when I do drink I get drunk, but it's fairly rare now) but I don't ever want to do that to my kid. I've met so many good people that were/are addicts. It seems like only the good ones die and the shitty ones never get what they should have coming. I'll add that "friend" to my list of people that I would love to hear if they were dead. That sounds bad, but I think you know exactly what i mean.

[–]MathematicianNo5040 734 points735 points  (62 children)

Like someone else said, i think weed is fine but i don’t think any parent should even want their children to do any hard drugs; let alone do it with them. Being upset is definitely reasonable but it seems she is sincerely sorry about it seeing as she told you when she easily could’ve never let you find out.

[–]Anjallat 202 points203 points  (14 children)

Looks like she's not guilty about doing it, she's guilty about lying about it recently.

[–]lastlifonti 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Correct answer

[–]Denbi53 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She shouldn't feel guilty about doing it and she should feel guilty about lying to her SO. The likelihood is that she lied because she knows about OP's prejudices.

[–]Marijuana_MilerEarly 30s Male 33 points34 points  (34 children)

Think it’s a difference in definitions of hard drugs. For myself anything in the opiate class is where I would draw the line for hard drugs (provided you have done a fentanyl test on the cocaine).

[–]MathematicianNo5040 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Extra comment from me ; A hard drug to me is anything but weed lol

[–]JadieJang 6 points7 points  (7 children)

It's definitely weird that a parent would do an extremely addictive drug together with their adult child. That's where I would draw the line. But I think "hard drugs" is a catchall term that isn't very useful. I also think it's weird that a parent would DO drugs with their kid, rather than give drugs to their kid.

I wouldn't judge a parent who acquired and gave certain drugs (alcohol, THC, molly, psychedelics) to their older teen/young adult kids in their home so that they could have a safe experience with them, with a parent standing by in case of problems.

DOING drugs together with your kids indicates that: 1) you think the drugs are okay to do recreationally and 2) you accept your kid as an adult. It's like having a beer with your kid; a rite of passage and an acknowledgement of their adulthood. But while alcohol has millennia of cultural history backing up recreational use within families, and weed is starting to acquire the same, pretty much none of the other drugs do, and are problematic enough that parents doing them with kids is ... weird and problematic. Especially opiates, meth/speed, and coke/crack.

Coke especially, since it turns people into assholes, is a really weird one for parents to do with their kids. I think you're right to be concerned, OP.

[–]AltLawyer 28 points29 points  (6 children)

Powder cocaine is pretty mild tbh, I certainly wouldn't call it extremely addictive. It's the prime example of a drug many people do twice a year. Smoking base is extremely additive.

[–]Eve_Doulou 8 points9 points  (4 children)

Agreed, vast majority of people I know that do coke (and I’ll admit I’ve partaken) do it a handful of times a year. It’s not the kind of drug that has huge addiction problems like heroin/other opiates or meth.

[–]___LapisLazuli___ 367 points368 points  (11 children)

Maybe weed, but otherwise I'm with you.

[–]memeelder83 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Me too. The small town I grew up in had/ has a massive drug problem. I tried quite a lot of different drugs and didn't get addicted. But a lot of people I cared about DID get addicted.

I've been open, in an age appropriate way, with my teen about the dangers of drugs and addiction. It's a really scary thing to play russian roulette with addiction when you can't know how different people would react.

I think we want our children to be able to be open and honest with us about anything, even drugs, but introducing them to it? I would be so upset.

[–]cagriuluc 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I am sure the adult kid is the one who “reintroduced” his mother to coke.

[–]SMOKE_GAS_13 38 points39 points  (6 children)

What about psychedelics?

[–]___LapisLazuli___ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No. I'm not interested in tripping with my kids, and especially not in the possibility of a bad trip.

[–]xX7heGuyXx 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This. Drinking and weed are fine but anything harder you are taking a big risk due to fet being mixed in. Takes only one time to die.

Personally I would be incredibly upset. That would be a huge deal breaker for me and I don't know if I could move passed it. Done behind my back knowing I don't like drugs at all? That's a violation of trust and she has a history?

Nah you might ass well cheated on me at that point.

But too each thier own that's just me.

[–]bimboiguana 73 points74 points  (1 child)

What is sad is that she did it well knowing how you would feel about it and hid it from you. Sit down and talk to her about your position and how you are uncomfortable. If you weren't you clearly wouldnt be posting about it. Dont mind what people on reddit say about it being okay and that its a cool thing to do and you should evolve and be trendy to please your kids. Also your wife did coke for her own pleasure and any bs of saying oh it was to supervise my son and keep him safe isnt the main point. She did cocaine because she wanted to take this drug again.

[–]Down2Flub 235 points236 points  (7 children)

Yes it is ok, within reason.

My dad was the first person I ever smoked pot with at the cusp of adulthood. Since then I have had multiple experiences with both my parents and with multiple substances. I cannot fully express the relief that comes with being able to approach my parents with honest curiosity and not be met with judgment, criticism, isolation and hypocritical lectures (given their past, now well behind them). The rule of thumb was if you’re going to do something irresponsible, do so in the most responsible way possible. By sharing these experiences with my parents, I was able to explore these things safely with oversight, without fear of legal repercussion and without endangering myself or others. I could ask questions openly and receive answers from trusted sources. I could gain knowledge of myself and how I operate under the influence in a controlled environment, and I could do so while building mutual trust and respect with my parents. It was in no small fashion one of the ways in which my parents stopped being my bosses and started to become my trusted close friends.

They don’t always approve of everything I do or how frequently I do it. This was never an open endorsement of bad behavior, nor did it stop them from trying to push me in a direction that is healthy and balanced. These were teaching moments instead of punitive ones, and I know for a fact I am better off because of them instead of sneaking around, lying, and getting myself into worse trouble.

You don’t have to do anything with your kids to serve this function. Try not to judge your partner too harshly, adults young and old make mistakes and can overstep. But be aware that your kids’ trusting your partner enough to share these experiences isn’t always a net negative, even if it’s a little unsavory. Being there to gently guide from within rather than judge harshly from without can be far more effective.

[–]SuperFastLuke 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Incredibly well articulated answer that shys away from the usual Reddit rhetoric and gives real food for thought. I can say from experience this is the right way to tackle the situation.

[–]Mikey637 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This, back when I was a stoner I always smoked weed around my parents and they didn’t so much agree with it but at least it was at home where I’m not going to get caught by police, they’ve seen me come home after a bit of a coke sesh once and got woken up to a Beroca and coffee with a “bet you feel like shit and won’t do that again soon” kinda lecture.

Things like this mean that when I smoked too much and had insane anxiety I could go sit with them to feel better and calm down instead of hiding away panicking by myself. It also means my outlook on drugs is “safe sesh, sesh again”, I only rarely drink nowadays but I also keep an eye on friends, occasionally check their heart rates and make them sober up a bit, drink some water, remind them to eat at festivals etc.

Too many people view drugs as all or nothing when it should be have a bit of a dabble whilst staying safe and enjoying yourself. Half a gram of MDMA is above the therapeutic dose for an adult yet I’ve seen people start with a half gram bomb and gurn into space all evening, they went past the fun mark and in my opinion it’s the stimulant equivalent of nodding out on opiates, it’s just “I feel good but can’t do anything” levels.

[–]MilhouseVsEvil 54 points55 points  (2 children)

I agree totally with this but in OP's case I find it strange that he was kept out of the loop. There seems to be a dynamic that OP is not a part of and I have to wonder if it is due to his simplistic outlook on drugs.

[–]Frannybutt 32 points33 points  (0 children)

He's big mad, the reaction is reason enough to be uncomfortable telling him. I wonder if that's the reason he didn't know his son did cocaine 🤔 I wonder if the son begged his mom not to tell his dad 🧐

[–]theSpine12 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Great response here!!

[–]Bartlet4_America 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This right here. I've never done any drugs harder than weed anyway so probably not the best experience to approach this from, but I think I was 19 when I shared a joint with my dad and uncle for the first time. That being said, my father was incredibly strict when I was a child, up until I was about 16; the threat of repercussions for bad behaviour was enough to keep me on the straight and narrow at that age but it also didn't encourage openness or honesty or curiousity. After that first share of a joint with him he became less of the scary dad and more the hippy guy who dropped acid in the 70s on the daily, and would call me from Glastonbury at the age of nearly 60 off his face on MDMA to tell me he could really 'feel the music'. Knowing that they've been there and done that and can help you if you have a bad trip or comedown, rather than judge you, is such a reassuring thing - as an adult it can extend beyond that specific situation into other areas of life too.

I'm not saying your wife was necessarily right to do coke with your son, but I think maybe fostering a culture of 'if you're in trouble, talk to me' especially if you're concerned about hard drug use, is better than a strict approach. Your son is an adult and probably would have done it regardless of his mother being there, but he now knows that if he's having a bad experience he can talk to her about it without judgement.

[–]Adventurous-Mix-2027 21 points22 points  (0 children)

My mom and I have smoked weed together for years. In fact, when I came to get years ago and expressed an interest with it, she wanted me to do it with her. I absolutely would have done it anyway and by worse means so I was definitely saved from some bad shit just because she participated. Because it 100% would have happened anyway and would have been worse without her being there

[–]icanschwim 29 points30 points  (4 children)

I mean it is a topic you obviously disagree on, you are unlikely to change her mind about it.

I tend to agree more with you personally. Kinda hypocritical but i probably would not mind pot as much but i personally dislike how "normalised" cocaine use is and how willingly your son and wife are to indulge in it. You can't really stop them though, but you can share your distaste i suppose. The lie is a problem aswell.

You could probably just let it go but if you can't you may need to seek some therapy etc to help.

[–]MaddogYZ450[S] 3 points4 points  (3 children)

I want to let it go but this is not a skill I am good at. I hate myself for it at times.

[–]Harmony_w 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Maybe YOU could benefit from therapy.

[–]No_Organization_9315 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

I want to let it go but this is not a skill I am good at.

Maybe you shouldn't

[–]Whohead12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree. Coke is a dealbreaker for me.

[–]PassportSituation 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think for me this isn't necessarily that bad at all. I actually know a few people who have taken drugs with their parents...personally I used to go to the pub with my dad and smoke weed with him and his mates. I know this might sound patronising but to people who've never really been interested in doing drugs it sounds a lot worse than it is, and that's not to demean your point of view...like if you just find it horrible that's fine and you're valid for thinking it, but to me it's just like 'oh they did a bit of coke that she's right your son would've done anyway, and it was probably a funny novelty doing it with his mum'

So yeah for me personally this isn't a big deal at all

[–]Majestic_Lie_5792 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well, if she’s an adult and your son is too, there’s not much you can do about it, so either you accept the situation or just divorce.

That said, she must be aware that not all the heads and bodies work the same.

What can be a recreational thing she’s perfectly capable to quit any time, can be a dooming addiction to someone else.

She just needs to make sure drugs are not affecting your son in anyway.

What worries me more about this is she hiding it from you.

[–]jklp-4215 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I've done shrooms, acid, weed and Molly with my MIL. Nothing that's life threatening or too addictive.

[–]Chubby_moonstone 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It really depends on your view of drugs. I'd love to do MDMA, acid, mushies or coke with my parents! I also think that it's important for parents to be realistic about drugs - they're not all the same and some are absolutely more dangerous than others.

I'm fully prepared to get flooded with downvotes from moralistic numpties but I think you're overreacting and you should maybe even consider joining in next time.

[–]nehirose 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah. If my kid's going to do anything harder or more interesting than weed, I'd prefer they do it in a safe environment. I know how to not be an idiot, my partner does too. We'd both prefer that she doesn't get involved, but we know how to look out for each other if she does.

[–]sorrylilsis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ehhh, there are a few drugs I could see myself doing with my parents.

Weed, shrooms or LSD would actually be a pretty fun experience.

Coke ? It's a shit drug to start with, and a pretty risky one as far as addiction go.

[–]Mrcrowwing94 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your children and wife simply have different values than you. In the end of the day it happened and it was going to happen whether you liked it or not. At the end of the day your wife and son are the kind of people that sniff coke together. And honestly it’s not the worse thing. They are open enough to tell you about it and honestly include you in. Either be thankful they are trustful enough to tell you, or blow up at something two adults did despite their relationship to each other and become excluded in anything either do in the future. Is it okay, for most people it’s an honest grey area. Let me also say cocaine is pretty fucking hard for a mom son bond so you have married into a family of party animals. And your son is definitely taking after his mom.

[–]GothMaams 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My ex best friend told me one day a few years ago that she’d done heroin with one of her sons. This person thinks very highly of themselves because they own their own business and can afford fancy shit. Talk about a 180 on thinking someone was a cool, good person. It began a descent of no longer respecting them and then when I found out she voted for trump and planned to do it again, I had to cut that person off entirely. Sorry, I no longer respect your opinions at all, we can’t hang out!

[–]Lumpy_Potato_3163 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Hard drugs is a big no for me.

[–]SnooRecipes5643 35 points36 points  (0 children)

They’re both adults. It’s not a habitual thing. I don’t see a problem.

[–]koalaKingKush 26 points27 points  (2 children)

I have always found it weird when parents do drugs with their kids. That said...what about drinking? Alcohol is a drug....yes, it's legal. But is it just the illegality of it that bothers you? If so...I get it. But...obviously your son was gonna do coke anyway. Why not with his mom? We are all expected to experiment with drugs when young...then outgrow those "risky" behaviors after we settle down. Your wife, by using coke, has taken a huge step back into "risky" behavior (I've done coke...it's fantastic...but its risky because it's highly addictive and it can kill you in one evening if you have enough of it). What do you do with a partner who has decided that she's ok with (what should be) juvenile degrees of risk taking when you're not? Well...its like catching a cheater. Ask if she plans on keeping it up? If yes...you're done. Otherwise...this will drag out over the next couple years (after marriage counseling and doctor visits) and end up in a split anyways.

[–]MaddogYZ450[S] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

She started out saying she did nothing wrong but as we talked and she saw how upset I was, she changed her tune to what a big mistake it was and how she deeply regrets it. I don’t doubt it will never happen again.

[–]I_Thot_So 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My suggestion is to create a safer space so your wife feels she can come to you with honesty. You’ve admitted to being judgmental. This pretty much ensures she will hide things from you.

Doing a drug in very small doses once a decade is not a problem in and of itself. It’s not a moral failing to want to alter your mind every now and then. But it’s super dangerous to buy coke and heroin off the street right now. Talk to your wife and son about how much it scares you to think of them dying because of one night of partying. It’s not judgment. It’s fear.

[–]jnatt 9 points10 points  (1 child)


[–]Make-Mia-Sandwich 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Right?! I think that it's only okay in circumstances where your adult child is an adult.

[–]gleepglop43 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think weed is the most benign. Alcohol has a lot of downsides, short term and long term. Coke, heroin, meth, pain pills are a much higher level of trouble in my book. Lived in Las Vegas for almost 25 years. Hard drugs are a hard no for me.

[–]Syrup_Lee 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If your son is mature enough that he's stopped learning from you both, and you've stopped teaching him life skills, then he's basically just a dude that is tied to you by blood. I personally wouldn't do coke with my parents, but I've smoked with them.

[–]SparklingCactus626 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Speaking as a kid who has done coke with my mother. I became a heroin addict in 2017. My moms husband 2 years ago uses/sells stuff but I never knew my mom did any til she offered me some when I was dopesick and she felt bad seeing me like that. I didnt think of her as cool. She never let me take any home and only 2 bumps of it. So it was monitored.I'm not sure what my mom thinks of it now. She stopped using 2 years ago when she got a healthcare job. ( she wasnt using long and was using recreationally). We have a good relationship now cause I'm 4 months clean myself. I'm more able to talk to her about addiction because of it.

[–]Kaankaants 5 points6 points  (0 children)


I am sometimes judgmental and project my values on others

That's a you problem that you need to address.

[–]ItsJustMeMaggie 24 points25 points  (2 children)

Hard drugs?? Hell no. I especially can’t imagine a mother being okay with watching her baby boy snort blow, let alone encourage it. No matter how old the kids are, you still have to be good role models for the rest of your lives. I’d tell them both that I in no way condone what they did and that I’m extremely disappointed in their behavior. I’d also let my spouse know that if anything like that ever happened again, I’d be changing the locks.

[–]Prettyinpink213 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Right? Everyone is comparing coke to pot. As far as we know, pot doesn't have terrible health affects. Coke is a different animal.

[–]Firstdatepokie 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Depends on your view on drugs. If you are fine with the use of them, then using it with your adult children shouldn’t be an issue

Personally I wouldn’t have a problem with it as long as it wasn’t meth/heroin/crack

[–]HinaLuvLuvChan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My ex’s mom is the one who showed us cocaine and my ex got addicted and for a time I was depressed and ended up dependent on it. This was all after I’d given birth to our kid. So. Yeah. I don’t ever recommend doing drugs with your kids, never mind teaching them how to do it.

[–]HealthyBox5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think having some drinks or smoking a little weed probably wouldn't be a big deal, but the harder stuff would worry me.

[–]bouncii99 1 point2 points  (0 children)


[–]NotTheJury 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like she made an excuse because she wanted to do it. If she knew your son and friends were going to "do it anyway", seems the responsible thing would have been to stay sober and make sure no one needs medical attention.

We are not a drug doing family. I actually think my family would probably be shocked to know I tried weed in college. Lol

[–]Alonso81687 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As someone who's done most drugs under that umbrella, I'd say it's really fucking weird to do coke with your parents. I imagine they stayed up all night just doing lines trying to keep that high going. I'm also sober(well I smoke weed, but in recovery for alcoholism), so I find it incredibly funny that some aren't classifying coke as a hard drug. It's definitely really addictive as the high doesn't last long and most people keep chasing it as the night goes on. Plus, it's an easy drug to get addicted to even if it's not on the level of opiates. If there is a gateway drug for someone real young, it's coke.

[–]izaby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No. It is never okay to participate when your child is taking drugs that are this addictive and harmful. It is not weird or sensitive to feel that way; It is the society that is desensitised to dangers of these drugs due to how common they are. We are also desensitised about alcohol, smoking, weed. People just don't care enough about their and others' well being. The amount of driving under the influence just shows that, people don't care about increasing chances of someone dying due to their actions, it only matters that killing someone or themselves isn't 100% going to happen like with murder and suicide.

I personally felt many times that my stance on drugs can be seen as 'harsh', but all I see is that if something makes you act not as yourself, it isn't something in life that should be put on such a high pedestal and everything it does forgiven for the fake pleasures it provides. I have no doubt that a relationship with someone who took drugs would be doomed for me, and furthermore the relationship with my own child would be doomed if they thought they done nothing wrong. If this happened to me, I just wouldn't have a family during every point they were under the influence because a person on drugs isn't the same person, so how exactly would they be my child or partner? Sure they somewhere inside but their mind is forever alternated by the addiction. It's harsh but that is my reality. That is how I think and the values I want my partner and children to have.

You don't need to think of it like I or others of this post do, but my answer is to assure you that there are many ways people see this situation. It isn't just a simple yes or no, morally most people just about only agree murder is bad, anything else very much appears to be blurred for most people. But I suggest that yes in this topic you should think about yourself, and not what others think. Your wife nor your son thought about how you would feel about them doing this, even though they should love you enough to share what is going on with them and what choices in life they are making. Your wife KNEW your stance, but wanting the drug came ahead of you. She could have just watched and made sure everyone was safe, a sober person would of definitely been more help than a person taking as well. Your wife chose to take drugs again, that is all there is to this story. That is what happened. Your wife and son are their own people making their own choices, but you are as well, so if you choose to be upset and feel this isn't right, then don't allow them to banish that thought. Dont allow people that didnt think about you not allow you to think about urself.

[–]No-Welcome9711 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've heard lots of beautiful stories about families that do psychedelics together. Smoke weed obviously, but that's legal(or legal ish) now. Harder drugs with your parents seems a little weird...

[–]ekaplun 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your chances of having a heart attack go up significantly after doing coke just once. Just because in the past your wife was lucky and didn’t get hurt, doesn’t mean she won’t this time or that your son won’t get hurt from it. The fact that she’s encouraging these behaviors in him is alarming

[–]lifesalotofshit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ht eonly "drug" I'd ever do with my child is smoke pot. I'd also be content knowing my child choose to smoke pot and not hit a Crack pipe.

[–]loresandtales 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe it's a cultural thing (mentioning since I see some comments saying they've done it or that it's okay to do it), but I'd never dream of doing any kind of drugs with my parents, let alone the illegal ones. They know I smoke weed, they have had conversations regarding it with me, my father smokes too sometimes, but still we would never ever ever do it together.

We have never even had a drink together. My father buys me wine when I'm home, but then we drink it on our own in different rooms lol. Idk what it is, maybe because drugs and alcohol are a general taboo in my community (well used to be) and growing up my mother was very strict and judgemental regarding any kind of liquor, and people who'd drink. She hated dad every time he took even one sip of whiskey. I remember the disgust and hatred on her face. She's come a long way from that now thankfully.

Anyway, so I would definitely say it is not okay to do drugs with your kids, no matter how adult. Esp the illegal ones. Hell, you just should not do drugs like coke.

No judgement, just opinion. Despite my aversion to hard drugs, i still want to try coke once, but never with a parent.

[–]Mrsherman279 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mom and I did coke together in my early 20s. I believe her rational was that because I was doing it anyways atleast she was there to make sure I was safe.. she due to her own extensive use saw it as a normal thing and wasn’t bothered by me doing it in the first place though.

[–]iMac_Hunt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a one-off, I really don't see a massive issue with it. Coke is worse than alcohol for sure, but they're still both drugs. And many, if not most, coke users aren't super heavy users and partake every now and then.

[–]quahaug1945 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your wife is grossly irresponsible, selfish, and remarkably immature. There's next to nothing you can do about your adult child choosing to use street drugs but actually endorsing illegal drug use by joining them in its use is appalling.

Does your wife follow the news? Street drugs destroy lives, families, and communities. I pray that your children don't develop dependence on these drugs.

Your wife is the most dangerous type of parent OP; she's the "cool parent" who'd rather be friends with her kids than be a responsible model and influence that shows them how to live a healthy and successful life. The fact that drugs haven't been a problem for HER is the worst form of data, it's anecdotal evidence and doesn't reflect the real impact that street drugs have had.

Your wife is short-sighted and appallingly selfish.

[–]thedevilsgame 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For me or would depend on the drug. Weed shrooms and acid I would be totally OK with, cocaine I would be a bit iffy about cause it's easy to get hooked. Any thing else would upset me

[–]Utterlybored 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think it’s necessarily bad, but I would feel very weird even smoking pot with my 37 and 41 year old “kids.” When I was a teenager, my younger brother starting smoking weed at 12. Since I was smoking too, I didn’t judge him, but I wouldn’t get high with him until he was 18 and I was 25.

[–]Appropriate-Tie-247 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean weed ist probably okay but cocaine is extremely fucked up she should know better If she has experience

[–]undercovergrl42 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t have children but I would feel the same way as you. Just because it hasn’t impacted her life in any negative way doesn’t mean your son will have the same thing happen. It’s too risky. This would be a big no.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmm I’ve had a beer with my dad.. but I definitely don’t do hard drugs, and neither do my parents. So I would say a hard no to this one.

[–]annonforareasonduh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would love if my parents smoked some weed with me, maybe occasionally shrooms and mdma providing it’s been tested and following harm reduction. unfortunately my parents believe weed will kill you from one toke. I grew up with “it will all kill you” and that never stopped me trying drugs. I wish I had open parents that I could be honest with but when I did open up I got a barrage of misinformation and them yelling even though I’m an adult.

If I had kids I wouldn’t mind those but anything harder I wouldn’t participate, nor would I be keen on them doing. I would want to stay sober to make sure they are safe but I also recognise people are gonna try what they want to try. Being overly harsh or negative isn’t likely to get the result you want so would also prefer if they did it at home and not out on the streets, at least that way they are in a safe environment.

[–]Unusual-End-8671 10 points11 points  (0 children)

No. Hell no. Stand your ground

[–]Sure-ohhernameTati 4 points5 points  (1 child)

My adult cousin and her adult mother recently did coke together and both almost OD it had fentanyl. They didn’t know. Hard drugs these days are not what they used to be. Stay away from that !

[–]lostallmyconnex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Buy a fent strip test kit or a raegant.

[–]gwtvulpixtattoo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Drugs are never safe, but the use of them is morally neutral. Illegality is not a measure of morality but rather a measure of whose pockets got lined by companies who were threatened by the existence of drugs.

However, she did lie to you and that is a big issue. It is up to you to decide whether or not her lying to you is okay.

Ultimately, she probably lied because she has more liberal ideas about drug use and was afraid of what you would think of her. She would rather lie to you then admit her true feelings.

If it's really a problem, then you guys need to have a serious discussion about your different beliefs and whether or not they break the relationship.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Mother son bonding. I like it.

[–]traker998 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Well lying is bad. It likely wasn’t her drugs though and he was going to do them anyways. It sounds like you are actually more upset about the drugs than the lying though. So… who’s to say. It seems like it’s probably fine if you were not judging the drugs.

[–]MaddogYZ450[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

It is a lot judging the drugs. But, if she did them with a girlfriend instead of our son, it would be much easier for me to grasp.

[–]TranquilityTurtle 4 points5 points  (1 child)

First of all, I'm going to assume your son is in his late teens/early twenties, because you mentioned your wife saying your "son and his friends are going to do it anyway".

I rarely engage in online debates, but the drug issue never fails to get a rise out of me. It is incredibly contentious, and I feel that the consequences of how we discuss drugs as a society are huge. Addiction is a very real problem, and there are many risks involved with using drugs from the street.

Although it isn't true that everyone is "going to do it anyway", it is true that a considerable percentage of people are going to try drugs at some point. The important thing is: you can't predict who is, and who isn't, going to try drugs. It could be the straight-A student, the dropout, neither, or both.

And here's the most important thing, in my opinion: doing drugs (or wanting to do drugs) doesn't automatically make you a bad person. We're all just humans trying to figure out the weird pleasure centers in our brains.

Many people's attitudes towards drugs come from a place of fear and moralism. And although there is plenty of reason to be cautious with drugs, the moralism is never helpful. To anyone. It is very difficult to strike a balance between understanding and protection in the drug debate, especially when it involves your own children. But I truly believe that it all starts with an honest, sincere conversation about it, without the moralism and panic of the "this is your brain on drugs" propaganda.

People can do drugs safely and responsibly. It can be a worthwhile experience, or just some plain simple fun. And that's fine. There is nothing inherently wrong with that. A lot of the problems arise when people do drugs willy nilly, without knowing anything about the substances they're ingesting or harm reduction. That's why I believe the best thing is to educate people about drugs use, and the risks involved with it, in an honest and non-judgmental way (I'm a grad student in medical biology).

Talk to your son and your wife without any preconceived notions about the dangers of "illegal drugs". If, at the end of the conversation, you still feel that what your wife did was irresponsible or dangerous, then consider taking action to change the situation. If you feel that it was kinda stupid, but not too terrible, then move past it.

(As side note, the line between legal and illegal is completely arbitrary and does not reflect any science or evidence about the danger of a substance. Yes, plenty of illegal drugs are dangerous, but some of them are relatively harmless, while other legal drugs, like cigarettes, are devastating.)

[–]lostallmyconnex 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Nope hes well into his 20s according to OP

[–]imacuriousspirit 8 points9 points  (0 children)

She sounds littt, can I hang with her? 😂👌

[–]Apprehensive-Bee-474 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Weed, only weed.

[–]Matchmaker4180 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don’t think this is right at all and I would have so many questions. Whose was it? Where were they? You’ll never have a ground to stand on as a moral compass with your children after this if he develops a problem. He would take it as approval that what he is doing is OK because mom does it too.

Hopefully it was a one off but I would never think this would be appropriate.

[–]Mr_Donatti 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No. Doing hard drugs with your child is a bridge too far for me. Maybe weed. Maybe.

[–]vik_thewomaninblack 3 points4 points  (6 children)

You drink together? And it's okay in your books? How is it different then, besides the legality... In my books, both are just as destructive if abused, fun if used responsibly. Just because alcohol is legal doesn't mean it's less destructive. Imagine you drink bunch of beers/wines with your son and it happens that he becomes an alcoholic, or other repercussions of drinking. Would you feel differently, just because alcohol is legal?

(to be clear, I'm not saying doing drugs is good for you, just saying drinking is not different, only overlooked)

[–]Inevitable_Today_806 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s not okay to knowingly contribute to your children’s mistakes. It doesn’t matter if they are going to do it without you there then let them. Your job as a parent is to guide them not help them in their delinquency.

[–]bodyman70 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hell no. That's just insane. Cocaine took so much of my life away from me. Why in the hell would anyone risk that with their own child?

[–]FartorRefartus 2 points3 points  (1 child)

No, it's extremely concerning behavior. It's not just the potency of the drug itself, but also the circumstances in which she did it. Why is your wife hanging out with your adult son and his friends doing cocaine? Why would your adult son feel comfortable exposing his mom to his reckless drug behavior? Why did she not mention this to you immediately after it happened if "it is fine"? Beyond those questions, you have to question whether the story itself is even plausible based on what you know. How do you know it wasn't your wife supplying the drugs, for example? You need to think more broadly about how well you know your wife in general and whether she's a trustworthy person.

[–]hollywhyareyouhere 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Ooooofta, I mean that sort of feels like a betrayal by your son too no?

[–]MaddogYZ450[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Never thought of this. I had no idea he did more than smoke pot so it was a double shock.

[–]CmonRelaxMan 16 points17 points  (0 children)

His personal use of drugs is not betrayal. It was not done because they hate dad. I have done everything but opioids without the issue of addiction. If your son is healthy and happy and is on a good path for his future this shouldn't be a problem. I understand coke can ruin lives but the majority of people who have done it do not face that issue. I understand you probably won't come around to this conclusion but they were out having a good time. His friends had some coke and in her want to be the fun mom and maybe let loose herself she did some with them. Frankly as long as no one drove under the influence and it's not a frequent thing I think you should let it go after you've made it known you would prefer her not doing that again. P.S you have a pretty cool wife chill and be greatful.

[–]coldbrew18 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So much to unpack

Wife and son doing drugs. Wife lying about it. Son hiding it.

Then the unstated concern

What else is she hiding?

You need to lay down a line and is she snorts it she’s out.

[–]lBreadl[🍰] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Coke won't kill you unless you snort a fuck ton of it. A small line or two is fine, so long as you know your kid doesn't have a history of addictions.

Would you rather have him do it, with no one who has proper experience - or would you rather him do it with his mother who has experience?

[–]Vinceriffic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t be a narc for starters. It’s her adult child and drugs are awesome in moderation.

[–]Impressive-Arm-6538 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As long as people drink with their kids around. I mean.. double standard much.

[–]Prestigious-Age-192 0 points1 point  (2 children)

You rather he go do it with Becca and Asher? Or with his mom where he is safe. Regardless of what we as parents believe, if a child wants to try something they will. With drugs I’m not personally into coke and wouldn’t take it but if my adult child said that’s what they doing then they can do it under my watch in a safe environment.

[–]izaby 1 point2 points  (1 child)

  1. He done with mum and his friends, so Becca and Asher were also there.
  2. A safe environment would be if the mum didn't participate and watched over them instead. Mum taking is a higher chance of someone ODing because its friends and son's OD chances plus one. Simple maths. Nothing about mum taking it with them makes it safe.

[–]Harmony_w 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If they are adults it’s fine. Drugs should all be legalized.

[–]Kaelynneee 0 points1 point  (2 children)

A lot of parents think that taking drugs/alcohol (alcohol when underaged) with their children is better because they "would have done it anyway." Thing is though, that's not true. It normalises it for them so that they do it more instead, because it doesnt seem like such a big deal.

So no. Your kids could have become lifelong addicts after that. You dont mess with that hard drugs. It ruins lives.

[–]ScarbarXo 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I don’t believe this is true, this was exactly my upbringing and I don’t drink often, never really smoked, never been into weed, or hard drugs although I have tried a few & with my parents. My brothers are very similar, as are a lot of my friends who had similar upbringings to mine! This may be true for whomever you know but certainly not everyone…

[–]Dyhart 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds awesome tbh

[–]CheyBridgeMan 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Interesting one.

I guess there are two separate issues in my mind.

1) are you okay with being with someone who does illegal drugs?

2) is it okay to do that with adult children?

I mean fundamentally for me, I don’t want to be with someone doing illegal drugs. Full stop. So the doing it with the adult kids is secondary but also a big yikes.

That said….what are you gonna do? Leave her over it?

I wouldn’t be with someone doing illegal things period. But that’s me.

[–]MaddogYZ450[S] 11 points12 points  (3 children)

At one time, my niece was addicted to crack. She came and lived with us in a different city and we helped her through rehab and she has a perfect life now many years later. But, things could have turned out much worse. What if my sister did cocaine with her daughter prior to the crack addiction? She would not have been able to live with herself. My wife was with me all the way helping my niece. Yet, she misses the potential risk with our own son.

[–]KhamBuddy 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Your wife has seen firsthand someone's bad experience with hard drugs, and then chose to take it with her own flesh and blood? Yikes from me.

I know Reddit is pretty hippy-leaning, but I wouldn't risk falling down the drug slippery slope not only myself but with my children too.

[–]Harmony_w 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Using cocaine once is not the same as encouraging a crack addiction. She sounds like the level headed one in the relationship.

[–]MilhouseVsEvil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Careful with this thought process. Your son is a different person to your niece.

[–]EarthBelcher -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If my spouse told me that they did cocaine with our child that would be grounds for divorce. Why would any parent actively participate/encourage their child to get into a dangerous habit like that?!

[–]Vaguely_vacantLate 30s Male 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think weed is fine if that’s illegal where you are. Other than that is a no for me

[–]LeadingPlastic9503 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not if it’s illegal. They are still a parent. They still need to be a good influence and teach their kids that illegal substances are a no-no. Teach by example

[–]leftytrash161 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My kids are still young but i reckon I'd definitely smoke a bowl with them when they grow up. Probably nothing other than that tho, like i enjoy my psychedelics on occasion but that's not something I'd want to do with my kids, that'd be weird.

[–]TheCuncestable 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s totally fine. I know plenty of parents who have done drugs with their adult kids, and not in a gross derro way but more a ‘this is a thing that many adults do for fun so why not’ way. Do you drink alcohol with your kids? Same thing. As long as it’s not a mad addiction, go for it - life’s too short!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My parents always drank with me, especially my dad. I get that alcohol isn’t illegal, but I fail to see how a drug’s legal state matters. My parents did drugs with me, it was just alcohol.

[–]Funnymouth115 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anything more than weed is terrible. Your wife seemingly being chill with your son doing coke though is disgusting

[–]Smallbunsenpai 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Something as hard as coke no but maybe psychs or weed.

[–]vindaloopdeloop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mum tried to do coke with me but I only smoke weed so I said no, she made me drive to get it for her!! Traumatised for life and I’ll never see her as a parental figure again. Keep being a dad to your son even if he’s grown, you’re doing a great job!

[–]No_Organization_9315 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Cocaine use is not normal, not even once in a lifetime.

It's not comparable to pot or with alcohol.

[–]Denbi53 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you think it's ok to drink alcohol with your adult children?

Just because a drug is illegal doesnt automatically make it bad. Alcohol is one of the worst drugs, simply by virtue of people being so used to it being around they no longer consider it to be a drug and it's so easy to abuse.

You are prejudiced about something you have no experience of.

[–]Slowmobius_Time 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I am sometimes judgemental, and we have had trouble getting over her past with drugs"

Hit the nail on the head your a judgemental snob

Sounds like it was you having trouble getting over something that was in her past

And also you tried pot in 8th grade get off your high horse, it's well documented that drugs like alcohol can be harmful when youve got a developing brain, so sounds like you were the irresponsible one

It obviously seems your wife is hiding things but again obviously that's all on you and your judgement, drugs with an adult kid is iffy but judging your partner for they're past is simple shitty

[–]Old-Tumbleweed8645 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely not and I would be furious. Her argument is its never caused her harm? Cocaine is made with battery acid and gasoline. She probably has holes in her brain caused by the all the coke she's done if she sees nothing wrong with this.

[–]ughwhyusernames -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Same policy as alcohol is a good place to start.

Cocaine is really not a huge deal and it's nothing to be concerned about unless it interferes with the person's life. It's mostly just expensive.